To think this is vile

(337 Posts)
Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 18:18:47

To get a child of 7 for Christmas their own Xbox, tv & DVD player bla bla bla. Saw it on thread about what people are getting their kids got Christmas. Is it me or is this madness?

Vile is a bit of an overstatement!

It's not what I would do, personally, but if it's what fits for them, then so be it.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:20:24


get a grip

kiwigirl42 Thu 15-Nov-12 18:20:25

well, I wouldn't describe it as vile but it is over the top perhaps. But there is no law saying how to spend your own money so YABU

MaryPoppinsBag Thu 15-Nov-12 18:20:57

Yeah should just get a satsuma, an apple and a piece of coal.

WorraLiberty Thu 15-Nov-12 18:21:31

Firstly, don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Secondly, the child won't need a DVD player if they're getting an XBox

Thirdly, well I can't actually think of a thirdly except to say I don't give a shiney shite what other people buy their kids grin

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 18:21:42

Fair enough vile may be strong!

WelshMaenad Thu 15-Nov-12 18:21:56

And it's your business because...?

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Thu 15-Nov-12 18:21:58

It's fine, if that is what works for that family.

You do what works for your family.

Everybody's happy.

missymoomoomee Thu 15-Nov-12 18:22:04

OTT much? I find it a bit ridiculous how much you care what others are getting their children.

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe Thu 15-Nov-12 18:22:25

It's overindulgent
It's generous
It's a bit much for a 7 year old

It's not vile hmm

And if I had an enormous amount of money to spend on my children- I would

phantomhairpuller Thu 15-Nov-12 18:22:37

Vile no, but certainly a tad excessive IMO

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:23:21

if the rest of the children are going without food to enable the parents to buy these things then yes it's vile but if they can afford it then it's perfectly acceptable.

please tell us all what you are buying your dcs for xmas.

NatashaBee Thu 15-Nov-12 18:23:46

More than I might choose to spend (to me, an Xbox is a main present, with some small bits and pieces to open as well) but 'vile' is a bit dramatic.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:26:23

Over indulgent and generous - why is it? Says who? As long as it's not getting you into debt what has it got to do with any one else?

Explain why it is madness OP? Apart from the fact you are being a judgemental snobby cow

Aspiemum2 Thu 15-Nov-12 18:27:23

This has actually made me laugh, you would have such a hernia if you saw my kids rooms decked out with pc's, tv's and the like.

My kids understand the value of money, do chores for pocket money and save their birthday/Christmas money for big things.

If it winds you up so be it grin

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 18:27:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 18:27:55

Monkeyfacegrace I am sure your children are charming - especially with such charming mother like you! Hope you have smashing Christmas!

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:28:43

oh well at least something has made me laugh tonight grin

vile is really ott my love

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:29:25

Well what did you expect OP? hmm

SugarplumMary Thu 15-Nov-12 18:29:47

Xbox, tv & DVD player bla bla bla

It starts before 5 round here - it's more about the parents.

Actually those could work out cheaper - than the total I end up sending per DC but I get clothes and books, craft stuff – crap like that so I can feel superior.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:31:06

<taps fingers>

waiting on your list OP. or dont you feel like having it judged by strangers?

MrsWolowitz Thu 15-Nov-12 18:31:30

A bit excessive yes. Vile, no!

If thats what people want to buy and can afford it then its really no concern of yours or anyone elses.

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:32:16

my children are getting a satsuma and a bag of nuts

missymoomoomee Thu 15-Nov-12 18:36:15

OwlLady are they getting a satsuma each ,thats vile. Mine are getting a segment each.

TerrorNotSoFrightened Thu 15-Nov-12 18:37:21

Okay, the OP has already admitted vile was a bit strong. Let it go now.

OP some people (like me) don't allow gifts at any other time except Christmas and birthdays.
So the DC do get a bit spoilt because of this.

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:37:26

we have a chocolate prange to share but me and dh are having it christmas eve

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 18:37:54

Mine are a bit younger 4 & 6 so are getting a doll, books, colouring stuff, jumper. DS elephant fighter thing, Spider-Man stuff etc. guess I am just naive about what people actually get their kids & a bit shocked! If mine had a tv & games stuff in their room I would never see them! Maybe I am old fashioned as we only had one tv (not that we couldn't afford it but just had to compromise what we saw on tv & sat together as a family)! wink

Santasinmypudenda Thu 15-Nov-12 18:38:09

Satsuma and a bag of nuts OwlLady?

That's obscene, stop bragging. My children will be sharing a satuma between them and will be grateful

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:39:48

fwiw wrt to the op

we live in affluent area and we are quite normal/average

and my son who is 11 thinks he is hard done to because he doesn't have;

a superdry coat
an ice watch
an iphone
an ipad
a kindle
regular training sessions at arsenal football club
a seasonal pass to arsenal football club
his own bedroom grin
a holiday abroad every year

I tend to just ignore him wink we do have a shared xbox, butthat's about it smile

Not vile but wtf are they going to get them for future birthdays and christmases once that lot is bought?

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 18:40:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Thu 15-Nov-12 18:40:27

A satsuma! Mine's getting a slightly elderly cherry tomato!

AlistairSim Thu 15-Nov-12 18:40:31

I have bought my children a lump of coal.

To share.

Clearly that makes me the top mummy, yes?

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:41:41

only if you have an open fire alistairsim, otherwise, what is the point? unless they were melting it down to have on toast for minerals, then that is completely understandable

VivaLeBeaver Thu 15-Nov-12 18:42:38

Totally vile.

Can't believe that's all they're getting. Poor kid.

Seriously, yabu. It's none of your business.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:42:50

glitter why does it have to be bigger and better than the year before? Ds is quite aware that some years you get big presents like x boxes and bikes and other years you don't.

And yes OP you limit console time. Our x box is in the front room so I can keep a listen out for who ds is chatting to online

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:43:49

X boxes are £120 - I bet if you add up all the stocking fillers and smaller toys you wouldn't be that far off.

Everlong Thu 15-Nov-12 18:43:50

It's not something I'd do tbf but I couldn't give a bugger what other folk buy their children for Christmas.

You know after having a child of mine die I do tend to spoil my other children, a way of dealing with it perhaps.

You don't know the reasons why this mum is buying all that stuff. Might not just because she has a spoilt brat.

BoakFace Thu 15-Nov-12 18:44:34

monkeyfacegrace - ooh, you're going to have some seriously spoilt brat children!

Everlong Thu 15-Nov-12 18:44:48

Love your post viva grin

Yep we are a charming family, thanks.

And with such a twattish op, surely you expected twattish responses.

We will have a fab Christmas. And we wont be paying for it in January either. No, we will be paying for our luxury holiday to Mexico instead.
Does that piss you off, too?


midseasonsale Thu 15-Nov-12 18:44:59

over the top gifts I'd say.

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 18:46:51

Ok I am being UR! Will take views & leave ! Really eye opening! & amusing how shitty people get! grin

Its a bit much, yes, but vile no. Should have said it on the thread rather than start a new one.

On the bright side monkeyfacegrace's response was hilarious, so maybe this thread was worth that alone.

She can afford it! She's a stay at home mum! Her children are polite! That showed you alright. gringringrin

Boakface, my children may be spolit, but no brat like behaviour here.

Yes, maybe to some its excessive, but its all relevent to the circles you move in, imo.

Seriously, my children are a credit to me, and I couldnt give a rats arse if people assume they would be brats due to two posts on an internet forum.

wannabestressfree Thu 15-Nov-12 18:47:09

OwlLady I am surprised you haven't been reported to social services......
We have had the same heady expectations in our gaff :}

^We will have a fab Christmas. And we wont be paying for it in January either. No, we will be paying for our luxury holiday to Mexico instead.
Does that piss you off, too?^

Oh lordy, I'm CRYING here.

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:48:20

I just get threatened with childline...

SoupDragon Thu 15-Nov-12 18:48:26

Personally, I think it's really vile to bitch about someone's choice of gifts on another thread.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:48:40

Really eye opening! & amusing how shitty people get!

Pot, kettle, black?

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 18:49:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Everlong Thu 15-Nov-12 18:50:03

Shitty?!? This ain't shitty. Good god no.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:50:42

why does spending lots on your children = them being brats? does having more money than others mean you have less parenting skills? confused

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 18:51:54

It's so vile I just vomited on my screen.

Actually I am envy I'd love to have all that just for meeeeee.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:52:02

Yes it does tired and it makes them rude and ungrateful because EVERYONE knows if you spend money on your children that's what happens.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:53:50

i have no money. that must make me a brilliant parent <preens>

Or...maybe, we have lots of cash as we waited until we could afford kids before having them? Thus being older and wiser, and most certainly better parents.

Yeah, that was bollocks, I was a teenage mum. But still, meh.

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 18:54:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BOFingSanta Thu 15-Nov-12 18:54:33

I think it's a bit vulgar, yes. But not vile.

<runs across the Mexican border>

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:55:08

I just don't know howthey don't lose it all
my son, the one I mentioned, loses everything. If I bought that list I would be fuming/grey/in prison because of it. I bought him a lookalike superdry form tkmaxx (benza something) and he lost that in the first week hmm found it again mind

though tvs and xboxs harder to leave on your peg i assume, or on the bus

missymoomoomee Thu 15-Nov-12 18:55:25

I have no money and I am up to my eyes in debt, I think you may find I am the superior parent here Tired

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:55:37


WTAF?!!!!! shock

I bet you hate plastic toys too and only have toys crafted out of locally sourced wood? hmm

Panzee Thu 15-Nov-12 18:55:49

I just wanted to say that I am clenching my pelvic floor as I write.

Thanks for the reminder. grin

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 18:56:14

We whittle toys on Christmas morning here, then sell them for charidee.

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:56:21

us younger mums get old you know <sighs loudly>

PoppyAmex Thu 15-Nov-12 18:56:32

Keema same here, I almost spat my tea! grin

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:56:48

i will accept runner up grin

BOFingSanta Thu 15-Nov-12 18:57:37

Valium wink

RudolphUcker Thu 15-Nov-12 18:57:51

You're all VILE.

VILE <judges thread>

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 18:58:56

I love vile. grin

I want a big fat vile Christmas.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:59:02

you're VILE for judging us all as VILE rud


valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:59:21

Oh was that a joke BOF? blush

I am outraged I tell you!!!!

WorraLiberty Thu 15-Nov-12 18:59:43

What the fuck is wrong with all you people buying satsumas and coal??

Have you seen the prices lately? shock

I'll be cutting a hole in my DS's underpants, just so he has something to play with.

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 19:00:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RudolphUcker Thu 15-Nov-12 19:00:26

Oh fuck, am I?

Well you're VULGAR. And TAWDRY.

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 19:00:27

Wasaaaaaaahaaaaaaa grin

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 19:01:23

Now this is why I love mumsnet!! Fecking hillairous grin

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 19:02:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:02:30

grin @ worra!! actually did lol. <hates typing that but it's true. i did>

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:03:26

TAWDRY? shock

that doesn't begin with V. i thought we were doing V? confused

WorraLiberty Thu 15-Nov-12 19:03:35


Viviennemary Thu 15-Nov-12 19:04:49

Can't see why it's vile. It's a bit over the top for age 7 and then problems of what to buy next birthday and Christmas because they've got everything.

RudolphUcker Thu 15-Nov-12 19:05:22

I ran out of V. I'm throwing it wiiiiiide open now.


Vulgar grin.

I'll be going away in the new year. I'm going to be riding to my luxury hotel on a poor person's back, cos I can afford it.

Fuck the rest of you lentil weavers.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:06:14

ds wants to know why i'm still laughing. ermm....

he's getting pissed off now. grin

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 19:07:09

Over the top ????? <frothes!>

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 19:07:22

<can't spell>

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 19:07:24

Ummmm.......hilarious at people getting so shitty! Was only a view, & yep Most people think I am unreasonable - fair enough. Yes vile was too strong like I said much earlier. But still think WAY OTT for a 7 year old

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:07:42

grin @ shabby! <looks at own attire> <stops grining>

SparkyTGD Thu 15-Nov-12 19:07:56

Mine will get a goat, an african one, not one for himself obviously grin

And a piece of tinned clementine in a soggy stocking, no, maybe just an old sock.

And he'll be thankful

Children these days...

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 19:08:49

Where I live every kids has a console - I can't think of anyone I know without one and they are a lot younger than 7.

But then perhaps I live in a vulgar area?

Aspiemum2 Thu 15-Nov-12 19:08:54

Haha worra! Every pair of ds's pj's have holes in the crotch ... I've stopped asking <shudder>

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 19:09:04

youcan get goats from the rspca for very little donation if ou want to seem generous
and have a balcony obviously

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Thu 15-Nov-12 19:09:17

think yours are a bit young for all that gadgety stuff , we resisted until around 13 for stuff in their own rooms but as someone said *OP some people (like me) don't allow gifts at any other time except Christmas and birthdays.
So the DC do get a bit spoilt because of this.* we don't buy them much except clothes and stuff that's needed except for B'day and xmas so i do go mad at xmas since we both work and can afford it. this year DS's (16 and 20) are getting their own laptops each and other stuff that will probably add up to around £800 - £1000 each, including the cash gift they asked for. they have no idea they are getting this and will be very emotional and grateful. They know the value of money and both earn their spends. I like spoiling them while we can, while we both have jobs and while they both are still at home with us.

Mousefunk Thu 15-Nov-12 19:09:51

Vile.. They're hardly abusing or neglecting their kids, that's vile.

Its excessive and unnecessary yes but not vile.

Even if I had the money I wouldn't buy that, 7 is too young imo.

WorraLiberty Thu 15-Nov-12 19:11:21

I'm getting my ex a petrol soaked mustache

Just so I can see his face light up...

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:13:24

oh worra STOP!!! grin

ds is going to explode!

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 19:14:53

Spoiling is not about how much you spend at Christmas - spoiling is poor parenting.

WorraLiberty Thu 15-Nov-12 19:15:34

Actually I'm just going to give my kids a pile of cardboard and say "Happy Christmas, here's your ex box" grin

Pinkforever Thu 15-Nov-12 19:15:35

I kind of agree with you op-and I admitted on another thread that I spent far to much last xmas on my dcs.

Tbh I think a lot of it is more about the parents and the bragging they can do at the school gates. I know parents who are racking their brains about what to get because their dcs already have xbox,iphone,pn,kindle etc etc etc.

To the poster who was being superior about how they can afford all this and a luxury holiday-if I had loads of spare cash I wouldnt go to fecking mexico! -thats where all the chavs round here gogrin

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:17:12


<writes these down>

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Thu 15-Nov-12 19:18:13

worra I'm nicking both of those grin

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:18:25

maybe she is a chav from round there pink wink


Yeah Mehicco is well chavvy innit. I blame Senor Frogs.

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 19:21:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh good! Guess I am guilty of not reading the whole thread. Tsk. wink

Wouldn't do it myself - they get £50 each spent on them at xmas. Our choice and yes, they moan and gripe and want everything they see on the tv. Too bad. They will learn the value of money.

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 19:24:46

I make ds pay me for his Christmas dinner.

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles Thu 15-Nov-12 19:27:38

I think people should stop being mean and argumentative, it isn't in the spirit of Christmas!

Just be grateful you have your family and your health if you have it, some folks don't and aren't even sure if they'll have somewhere to live come Christmas, never mind worrying about presents and what other people are doing.

I'm glad for people who are able to spoil their children a bit and do nice things, and I am glad for people who stick to their means and just have a jolly family time.

The only thing I find vile is that need to find something to judge. Especially when it's over-generosity. WTF are we to say what is an okay amount of stuff to buy someone? How do you know that they haven't had a fucking awful year and they're having a really special Christmas to make up for it?

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 19:28:22

i make mine cook the xmas dinner and pay for the electric he uses while doing it.

I wasnt being superior. I was answering a fucking stupid op, with fucking stupid statement.

Swings and roundabouts.

Fenton Thu 15-Nov-12 19:30:21

My children of 8 and 5 are getting an iPad EACH for Christmas in their dreams

be appalled at me, I'm disgustible.

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 19:30:50

Good thinking rabbits

PickledFanjoCat Thu 15-Nov-12 19:31:18

Will u be my mummy fenton

CrunchyFrog Thu 15-Nov-12 19:34:12

I am going to use this shitty thread to get shitty about the fact that DS1's present is going to look like fuck all, because ALL he wants are DS games, bastard 3DS thingie. I HATE IT.

2 DS games and a Wii game, that's all the budget gone!

DS2 has half as much spent but will take up most of the room with his giant objects d'tat.

altinkum Thu 15-Nov-12 19:34:48

Is this me OP, my child is soon to be 7 and for Christmas we are getting him a desk so he can put his Xbox into his room (he ready has a DVD and 27" telly in his bedroom), due to a number of reasons!!!

I don't care nor acknowledged what anyone thinks on how I parent my children. But to call it vile is rather lacking oxygen space.

That's the trouble. They all want ridiculously expensive things! And they are ridiculously expensive. It's shit sometimes having to put a limit on presents but we just can't do it - or we could do it if we tried but simply won't. Where's the joy in getting something really special on a rare occasion if you get everything you want every time. It really is about being together and appreciating things like health and love <soppy>

altinkum Thu 15-Nov-12 19:40:11

Is this me??? getting paranoid now if it is OP why not just PM that person, instead of wanting a bun fight???

trio38 Thu 15-Nov-12 19:42:56

Bloody hell, the meanies are out tonight. Bad luck OP.

For what it's worth, I think you have a point. I wonder if giving very young children piles of expensive gifts is as harmless as everyone seems to believe. Does no-one else worry it encourages kids to turn into materialistic, entitled adults?
And what's with all this 'mind your own business?' No-one would be on here if we were all minding our own business.

LucieMay Thu 15-Nov-12 19:43:02

Lol that would probably be me! Vile indeed! We're not rolling in money but it's just me and ds, I only really spend on ds at Christmas so I probably do spoil him a bit. He gets fuck all from his dad and most of his family so I perhaps make up for it. Having no siblings to play with, I overcompensate sometimes with stuff to keep him amused and keep me sane, it can be hard work constantly entertaining a child alone, he is with me all the time if we're not at work/school, I need respite sometimes. He's a very sporty little boy too and plays football three times a week and goes swimming, he doesn't just watch tv or play video games!

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 19:43:11

Like I have said three times now....,I took the vile statement back! Read the whole thread! Yes maybe I am a judgey pants about the whole TV game stuff in own room at 7, or I have read too much into the effects of it.

Bluestocking Thu 15-Nov-12 19:45:29

You lot are pathetic. We've arranged for a Top Sushi Chef to fly in from Japan to make our Christmas dinner from the freshest and most endangered species, humanely killed by none other than St Hugh of Fearnley-Whittingstall, and our sashimi (I don't suppose any of you actually know what that is?) will be presented on the naked body of a supermodel. You won't have heard of her so I'm not going to bother to name her. Then, when we've finished dinner, Barack is sending Air Force One to collect us, and we're going to join Roman on his private island. That's Roman Abramovich. Johnny wanted us to go to his but I feel a bit weird going there since he split with Vanessa - I can't help feeling I might have been a contributing factor, there's always been such electricity between us.

Gooeyhead Thu 15-Nov-12 19:45:48

Thanks worra your comment about the hole in the undies has just woke my DD up!!! Ok ok ok me laughing at the comment was what really woke her up!!!! gringringringrin funniest thing I've read ............ ever!!!!!!!!!

gimmecakeandcandy Thu 15-Nov-12 19:47:24

monkeyfacegrace there is defintely someone displaying twattish, chip on shoulder' behaviour here and it is not the op...

Oh and no I not jealous of you and can afford all you boast about but I won't be letting my kids have a tv in their room ever. They have in their playroom and that's enough. And I'm sure people on here couldn't give a shiny shit about your over the top boasting.

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 15-Nov-12 19:48:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Such a shame that this thread even started up, I quite enjoyed the original thread where it seemed that everyone was just describing what they had bought without the judgement.

We all have different budgets and we all have different ideas on what we want to get our children and family. It's a shame we can't just accept these differences without being all judgemental about it.

My sister in law and I when we are together on Christmas Eve always sit and discuss what presents we have bought everyone, its lovely and we both enjoy watching everyone else getting their surprises on Christmas Day, we budget for Christmas very differently (they spend about double on their kids and each other and don't get gifts for other adults in the family, while we do). She could see me/us as stingy and I could see her as indulging her children. I don't and don't think she does of me. I am glad we are different otherwise it would be dull.

Thank you to everyone who has made me laugh on this tread though.

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 19:48:55

Blue stocking can I come!? Yes I love sashimi!

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 19:51:51

Not nessarily is healthy to have a debate and wouldn't the world be boring if we were all the same? It's a lively discussion but yes some very large chips on shoulders! grin

altinkum Thu 15-Nov-12 19:56:09

I'm wondering whose boasting... The parent of a child who does/doesn't have a TV in their bedroom!!!

Who cares parent your children as you see fit and and allow others rondo the same (as log as the abusive groups don't come into it)

It's the name calling that makes it feel so judgmental (maybe that's me being judgemental). blush

A good debate around how we justify what we spend and purchase for our children at Christmas is always going to be interesting though.

Marzipanface Thu 15-Nov-12 19:59:49

I think vile is a strange word to use. What do you really think?

Personally I'm a bit ambivalent. I don't have a seven year old and when I was that age I certainly didn't have access to the equivalent technology! I think it is quite generous for a seven year old but if you have the money and teach your child to have other interests and to be appreciate what they have then I don't see a problem.

Just to let you know my 2 year old has an iPad. Don't have a hernia!

LucieMay Thu 15-Nov-12 20:00:49

It's also amusing people think a present list indicates if a child is spoilt. We have no car and my son's dad is too off his face to bother with him. I hardly think having to trail around on buses and growing up without a dad makes a little boy a spoilt brat?

Ispywith Thu 15-Nov-12 20:03:39

Mine have access to iPad, I am not some evil person that doesn't let my kids have anything, just really shocked how many people have these massive lists of OTT presents IMO, & wondered what others thought?

greeneyed Thu 15-Nov-12 20:07:13

Worra, I laughed for ten whole minutes about the underpants and have now had to change my own!

It does surprise me sometimes how much people spend.
We have some good friends and they spend in my opinion a lot on their children at Christmas £200-250 each but then they don't get any other presents from any other relatives (huge extended family) and they don't buy gifts for anyone outside the immediate family. When you take it into context it becomes more normal.
I spend about £75 each on my children at Christmas. I do shop around so I tend to get some good deals so the RRP value may well be higher. They also get gifts from our extended family so they do very well at birthdays and Christmas.
We do have some very wealthy friends who spend that amount and they do get presents from the extended family too, as well as various holidays, days out during the year. Have to say their children are absolutely lovely and don't appear spoilt.
So in my opinion it is more down to parenting whether children become spoilt rather than how much is or isn't spent. Attitude they say is everything.

Mintberry Thu 15-Nov-12 20:14:28

Have got my 5yo DSS a second hand PS2 I picked up on Ebay for £15 - he likes games but at his age he just wouldn't appreciate the difference in technical quality enough for us to consider any modern, high end expensive consoles.
I'd maybe put it off until he was 9 or 10, though I'm pretty sure I was being bought a shiny new Nintendo 64 for Christmas around the age of seven back in the day, and all my friends were getting similar things, so I don't think it's that weird.
As long as the kid doesn't get spoiled from day to day (they're gonna get spoiled on Christmas anyway, right?).

DreamingOfTheMaldives Thu 15-Nov-12 21:06:38

Op I certainly think vile was the wrong word to have used but I do think that word describes MonkeyFaceGrace posts quite accurately!

I think children should always be left wanting more at Christmas and birthdays. I would never get them everything they want as I think it's important that they learn they cannot always have everything they want. I would ask them to write a list and then get them things off it but not everything; they would then have to save their own spending money if they wanted to buy the other things, or just go without. I believe that teaches them important lessons.

I understand that people will buy for their children dependant upon their means but we went to my brother-in-law and his wife's house on Christmas Day; their 7 year old daughter, was handed a present to open and she said "not more presents, I'm bored of opening presents." That is certainly an example of a child who had been bought far too much by her parents. Each year there are toys from the previous year still in their boxes and wrappings because they've got so much they don't play with them. Just because you can comfortably afford it, doesn't mean you should buy to excess.

Portofino Thu 15-Nov-12 21:27:21

Well we have a Wii and and Xbox and dd (9) has a tv/dvd in her room. For Xmas she has asked for Lego and a Chemistry Set and Ice Age 4 on DVD. <<feels smug and hides longer list requesting plastic crap under capacious arse>>

MarianneM Thu 15-Nov-12 21:32:45

I intend to buy my DDs:

DD1 (aged 4) - toy tea set

DD2 (aged 2) - dressing gown

And that's it.

(Last year I got called "the lump of coal MNer".)

Excess is relative though. If they are fecking wealthy not a huge deal is it?

I seem to spend a lot of money on my kids and sometimes wring my hands a bit over it when I have time. But I went to a school meeting for parents of children who are going on a trip to the States next week. Bearing in mind the trip cost well over 1K - some of those parents are also giving their children £500 spending money. This is NOT a well-off middle-class area. Now I feel like bloody Scrooge.....

redlac Thu 15-Nov-12 21:44:03

If anything buying them the Xbox for Christmas makes future birthdays and Christmas easier cos you buy them more games for the bloody thing!

PatriciaHolm Thu 15-Nov-12 21:50:07

Different families take different approaches. Some save all year to splurge heavily at Christmas, not buying much the rest of the year. We take the opposite approach; we buy our children (and ourselves!) lots of things throughout the year, for example DS has just got a new bike, because he needed it. Others might have made him wait for Christmas; we didn't. Which means we don't tend to buy a huge pile of stuff for Christmas. Up until this year (they are 8 and 6.5) they haven't wanted expensive stuff anyway.

They will probably get a kindle fire each this year; they don't have any gaming consoles of their own yet. We spend quite a lot of time flying/driving on holidays, so they will come into their own for that.

WorraLiberty Thu 15-Nov-12 22:15:13

Whoops! Sorry Gooeyhead and Greeneyed grin

BegoniaBampot Thu 15-Nov-12 22:30:30

Gimmecakeandcandy 'but I won't be letting my kids have a tv in their room ever. They have in their playroom and that's enough.'

Really, ever, never?

greeneyed Thu 15-Nov-12 22:44:51

Marianne - I think it's safe to say you'll be retaining the title this year! At least at two they probably won't remember (and still be talking about in 30 years) the 'dressing gown' Christmas!

MarianneM Thu 15-Nov-12 23:03:48

For me Christmas is not about presents, and I don't want to teach that to my children either.

They will definitely not feel hard done by - they don't generally go without anything, I just don't believe in excessive, meaningless consumption.

Startail Fri 16-Nov-12 00:51:15

DD2 had a laptop at 6 or 7 that did most of that.
Not vile just got her off mine.

SoupDragon Fri 16-Nov-12 07:17:06

Gimmecakeandcandy 'but I won't be letting my kids have a tv in their room ever. They have in their playroom and that's enough.'

Really, ever, never?

I will also never ever be letting mine have a TV in their bedrooms.

BoakFace Fri 16-Nov-12 07:21:13

I was never allowed a TV in my bedroom and my children won't be either.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BegoniaBampot Fri 16-Nov-12 08:01:53

My children don't have a telly in their rooms either (still at primary) but I won't say never as watched my brother and sister make that mistake on parenting issues and backtrack later.

One poster said it quite smugly but that she had one in the playroom, so they can be shut away their. Some folkndon't have the luxury of a playroom, thatwould be the children's bedroom - not so different.

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 08:04:33

I've found this post so interesting and overwhelmingly indicative of today's society. I don't think the point of the original post was just about money but more about values. Giving a young child a games console, TV or DVD for their sole use promotes an unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle. In my opinion the action of buying such a gift for a young child isn't "vile" but it's not something I would choose to do.
What is vile however is the response the original poster has received. The very strength of feeling of some posters suggests that they too realise the implications of buying such a gift for a young child. It's not about the money, but our materialistic society patently has trouble in understanding this concept. Sometimes it's helpful to sit back and consider differing opinions rather than taking offence at comments you neither needn't nor shouldn't.

redlac Fri 16-Nov-12 08:07:19

I don't understand why it's okay to have one in the playroom but no TV in bedroom. DDs playroom is her bedroom! It is possible to enforce rules about watching when it's in their bedroom you know!

valiumredhead Fri 16-Nov-12 08:19:22

Giving a young child a games console, TV or DVD for their sole use promotes an unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle

Massive sweeping statement and very untrue. It is quite possible to have a console and limit use. There are many games that are played with more than one person and many family games.

Because you use MN OP, does that mean you are unable to talk to anyone in RL? Does it mean you have a solitary lifestyle stuck in front of the computer not communicating with the outside world? I doubt it. It is quite possible to enjoy things such as consoles in moderation and still be a communicative, well rounded person.

What is vile however is the response the original poster has received

No, what is vile is the OP starting a thread about a thread, mocking and judging someone's choices and then going on to laugh at 'people getting shitty.'

BIWI Fri 16-Nov-12 08:26:48

Values?! I'm not sure what the OP really thought she was going to achieve with this thread, but it wasn't about societal values. It was judgey and unpleasant. Superior, sneering and also very bad etiquette to start a thread about a thread.

As other people have pointed out, none of us has any idea what other posters' family/financial situations are, so to pass judgement on the things they are buying is not just pointless but also actually quite offensive.

SoupDragon Fri 16-Nov-12 08:28:00

I don't understand why it's okay to have one in the playroom but no TV in bedroom.

Because our playroom is downstairs and part of the family space.

valiumredhead Fri 16-Nov-12 08:35:33

Ds is pushing to take the xbox upstairs but I am resisting - it's down in the front room atm, easier to keep and eye on what's going on - same as a computer, it needs to be used in the front room.

LtEveDallas Fri 16-Nov-12 08:49:22

If DD was into computer games etc, then I'd happily get her something like that. She doesn't have a TV/DVD player, but does have a portable DVD player that gets a lot of use, in the car and at home when she doesn't want to watch TV with us. We do have a Kinect, but it was won as a raffle prize and doesn't get much use.

She has an iPhone (my old one) that is loaded with games and music and this year we are getting her a camcorder - so I suppose she has a lot of electronic 'stuff'.

She's not spoilt and she certainly doesn't have an "unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle" She uses the iPhone in the street with her mates to make up dances, and often films them. She watches DVDs on her player because she's "Bored of Australian Masterchef Mum" and her and her friends use the Kinect to play 'Adventures' and 'Dance Party' (the only games we have!)

If the poster on the 'other' thread that this OP is sneering at is able to afford to buy their child those things what the Hell has it got to do with anyone else?

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 09:20:43

i really dont get where this idea that people who buy consoles/tvs/dvd players for a child's sole use are incapable of setting boundaries for their children has come from.

do people really think the items are handed over and the child given free reign over when they use it?

it is quite possible to tell your child, "you can play on your Xbox for an hour after homework is done" the same as i tell mine they can watch tv for an hour/go over and play with X for an hour/go on my laptop for an hour" if you have raised your child to accept boundaries and rules set by their parents then it wont be difficult to implement similar rules for whatever the newest toy is. Fwiw my son has gotten things like playmobil, remote control cars etc for his sole use in the past and of course wants to spend every hour playing with them in the first few days/weeks after xmas. it's normal. and yes, i've made him take his sodding playmobil to his room so it's out from under my feet (literally). that doesn't mean i'm creating an antisocial child.

WorraLiberty Fri 16-Nov-12 09:26:14

Exactly TiredBooyhoo

It's like if you buy your child a bucket of Lego, you're not going to want them to play with it 24/7 to the exclusion of everything else going on in their life.

A games console is just another toy and can/should be limited.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 09:44:55

God, don't mention lego. Its like bloody legoland in our house!

Ds is an only child, I have 2 nephews and a niece and a £20 max budget for adults, so ds does tend to get lots of xmas presents, for my mum he is the only GC. Tbh, I like getting him things he will enjoy using!

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:49:31

I'd just like to point out that I said "Giving a young child a games console, TV or DVD for their sole use PROMOTES an unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle." I did not say that this is always the outcome. Of course it is possible to limit usage. The fact remains however that, by giving your child such a present, you are actively encouraging them to sit in front of a screen rather than interact with other children in a normal, good-old-fashioned way. Your child might use an iPhone to help her create a dance with her friends but why do they need an iPhone to do that? (Sorry to pick up on that one example)

Attention spans are becoming shorter and shorter and people are becoming increasingly unable to speak to one another in a coherent manner: research shows that technology is playing a huge part in that shift. Let's not, as parents, allow our children to fall in to that trap but encourage them to converse, consider and evaluate with those around them.

LtEveDallas Fri 16-Nov-12 09:58:51

Your child might use an iPhone to help her create a dance with her friends but why do they need an iPhone to do that

Because it is loaded with songs for them to dance to, dance videos for them to copy, and has a video record function for them to record their "Shows" (so that us long suffering parents get to watch them - I forward them on to share the pain smile)

by giving your child such a present, you are actively encouraging them to sit in front of a screen rather than interact with other children in a normal, good-old-fashioned way

I said a Kinect - you don't sit in front of a Kinect, and you don't play it on your own. You jump around shouting, screaming and laughing from what I gather from my DD and her friends.

(you really shouldn't judge if you don't know what you are talking about)

LucieMay Fri 16-Nov-12 10:02:51

Surreymummy, given that I'm sure I'm the one this thread is aimed at, read my responses and tell me how I'm damaging my son's social life or depriving him of play opportunities. He attends after school club four days a week, he plays football three times a week, swims once a weekly, we see extended family every week and in summer he plays out every night with local kids. Even after all that, there's still a lot of time left! He has no siblings and no dad, it's just the two of us and we talk a lot, he's a very mature and eloquent little boy, but that still leaves spare time in the day, particularly in winter. His tv, Xbox, ds and DVD player are just add ons to his life, just as mumsnet and facebook are add ons to mine. They don't rule them so take your sweeping judgements elsewhere.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 10:03:06

why is old fashioned always better? i dont get that.

and BTW most gamesoles have the option of using more than 1 controller at a time, tvs and dvds can be watched by more than one person. in my house my son is welcome to have friends over as long as we aren't doing something as just a family. they watch tv together, go on my laptop together, play with toys together. when he goes to his dad's house they play the playstation together and when his step uncle is there (he is only 8) he goes on it with him too. it's very much a group thing for my son.

"Your child might use an iPhone to help her create a dance with her friends but why do they need an iPhone to do that? "

she doesn't need it. but it's available to her so why not. did you use a skipping rope as a child? why? you didn't need that, you could have just jumped up and down without one hmm

redlac Fri 16-Nov-12 11:44:49

"I don't understand why it's okay to have one in the playroom but no TV in bedroom.

Because our playroom is downstairs and part of the family space."

what if you live in a bungalow??? even though DD's bedroom is upstairs and she has <shocker> a tv and wii up there, I still have the ability to walk in to her room and interact with her, join in with what game she is playing, watch a bit of telly with her (which is controlled by the sky box in the living room so she can't end up watching wall to wall iCarly) Its not as if she locks herself in there and I'm not allowed in (I'll give her another couple of years before she does that!)

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 11:49:12

I wonder if people used to moan about skipping ropes and new fangeled tops back in the day.

I will be getting my ds a games console when the time comes and I can't wait!

All the adults I know that play a lot and watch loads of tv didn't really have them as kids.

Give them a console and rules to encourage sensible usage what's wrong with that?

valiumredhead Fri 16-Nov-12 11:52:50

it's very much a group thing for my son

THAT'S MY EXPERIENCE TOO -oops caps lock!!

I always have a room full of nearly teens, especially in the winter when they can't get out and play, in the summer it hardly gets used as they are all out on their bikes or playing footie.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 11:54:15

Games like wii and kinnect are much more family orientated.

Like playing board games really with better technology.

SoupDragon Fri 16-Nov-12 11:57:07

Good for you redlac. I'm sure you are doing what you believe is right for your family, just as I am doing what is right for mine. There's no need to be deliberately obtuse wrt bungalows. I was explaining my reasons, not passing comment on yours.

PropertyNightmare Fri 16-Nov-12 12:14:16

Each to their own, really. I can't get too excited or upset about other people and their present choices. Dh and I like three seat sofas with their seat cushions entirely obscured by presents. When young we both came downstairs to that on Christmas morning and so do the same with our own children.

fuzzpig Fri 16-Nov-12 12:16:21

If we could afford them, the kind of thing in your OP would be a family present. I can't imagine giving a 7yo their own console in their own room as I prefer not to have gadgets in bedrooms (at the moment - will change when they are older). Can't be arsed to get annoyed about what anyone else does though <shrug>

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 13:42:30

To be perfectly honest, I really don't have any great interest what games consoles other families have. It's your decision and it has nothing to do with me. I was merely trying to open up the discussion and bring a more intellectual / academic slant to the witch hunt which had evolved in the early pages. Apparently this isn't an appropriate thread for that (perhaps I should have guessed that). I must say that I am shocked at the rather angry and aggressive attitudes of quite a large number of posters. If you are totally confident in your decisions then you shouldn't get so cross when someone else has a differing viewpoint. Different doesn't = wrong, in either direction.

As for the lady who said I shouldn't talk about this topic because I didn't know what I was talking about ... I may not be up to speed on all of the new, whizzy games consoles and all of the various controllers designed for them. I am however a retired teacher (very early before you say I am old and therefore out-of-date) and an educational psychologist with a PhD in Child Psychology. So I do know at least a little bit about the subject matter in hand ...

LtEveDallas Fri 16-Nov-12 15:15:42

Surreymummy, I didn't say you shouldn't talk about the topic, I said you shouldn't judge when you don't know what you are talking about. You talked about 'sitting in front' of a screen rather than interacting with friends - that's not what games are like these days - if you are going to pontificate, be sure you know your subject.

There is no intellectual/academic slant to the discussion - the OP started a thread about a thread (frowned upon) to sneer at another poster (frowned upon) for buying her DC too much (none of the OPs business). That's why she got the replies she did. No-one is angry, but this is Mumsnet, not FluffyBunniesNet.

My post was aimed at showing you there are more to electronic toys than you may have realised, and that judging people for their harmless parenting decisions is not on.

I hope that makes things clearer for you smile

BIWI Fri 16-Nov-12 15:15:57

So what? All you have done is to post in a very unpleasant and judgmental way. Why did you want to 'open up the discussion and bring a more intellectual/academic slant' to it? How fucking patronising!

BIWI Fri 16-Nov-12 15:17:50

Oh, and a search of your name shows that you are very new to MN. I think that you will find that we are all quite capable of opening up discussions ourselves in any manner we see fit. We don't require anyone to try and moderate them to their own taste.

LtEveDallas Fri 16-Nov-12 15:18:26

Oh and 'new whizzy games consoles and controllers' - the Wii has been out for about 5 years, the kinect about 4 and they don't have 'controllers' as such. The human is the controller and has to be active for the console to register them. HTH.

valiumredhead Fri 16-Nov-12 15:18:40

Don't you think anyone else 'knows a little bit about the subject matter in hand' either?

abundleoflies Fri 16-Nov-12 15:30:53

I only have one child so any toys/consoles/TV are entirely for his own use. I think DS got his first Wii console at age 7 or 8 - a freebie given with my Dsis's phone contract and she didn't want it. When DS was 10 he got his first laptop - given free by a government grant, so clearly there are policy makers who don't think it's unreasonable for a child of that age to have their own! And he got an Xbox for free when he was 11, through a different government-backed charity.

I can't say that DS is spoilt - in fact he fits various government criteria for being in poverty and disadvantaged, actually.

cantspel Fri 16-Nov-12 16:12:23

Some of my best childhood memories with my boys involve the 3 of us squashed up on my sons bed playing Mario kart on a gamecube.

complexnumber Fri 16-Nov-12 16:33:44

Mine'll get a small orange, and the parking ticket I received when I stopped to get out of the car to buy it.

valiumredhead Fri 16-Nov-12 16:37:07

cantspel I LOVE playing bowling with ds and my mum on the wii - it turns into a riot. I have mobility problems so I find real bowling too hard.

Just Dance is hilarious too grin

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 17:10:33

surrey you sound like a bit if a Luddite to be honest.

One has to move with the times.

gimmecakeandcandy Fri 16-Nov-12 17:11:37

Yep my will never ever have a telly in their room just like I would not put a tv in MY room.

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:04:59

Gosh, you ladies do get cross don't you! I'll stick to my old-fashioned ways, thanks. I know how I want to raise my children and it's not in a "shouty-aggressive-sweary-coarse-don't-you-voice-your-opinion-if-it's-not-the-same-as-mine" manner. Ironically, all that has happened is that my point has been beautifully proven. Thank you!

gimmecakeandcandy Fri 16-Nov-12 18:05:07


gimmecakeandcandy Fri 16-Nov-12 18:08:12

How presumptious are YOU begonia?! How stupid to presume I shut my kids away in their playroom. Playroom is actually just off my kitchen and I never shut my kids away to play. I prefer hands on parenting - maybe you should try it.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:08:38

Your actually quite hilarious dear! grin

altinkum Fri 16-Nov-12 18:09:51

I can see the OP lost the argument with her last post, not a explanation in place, except to say her point is proven.... Mmmm many on here can't actually see a articulate opinion or reasoning as to why children in a technology advanced world shouldn't have... Erm technology, even if that means their own due to pacific individual circumstances!!!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Fri 16-Nov-12 18:11:41

I'm the biggest luddite going. Doesn't stop DS having a wii.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 18:14:31

Wow, can't quite believe how rude some posters are being.

Gimme, what on earth gives you the right to criticise begonias parenting. How do you know she isn't just as "hands on" as you?

And surreymummy, oh dear. Words fail. I do laugh at holier than thou posters who try to bring psuedo-intellectual ramblings to threads.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:25:04

It's incredibly important children keep up with technology as well as play outdoors, read, have nice manners and a million other things.

I don't know quite why the mention of buying a child a piece if technology brings out the smuggity smug smug.

And tvs in rooms. It really is each to their own, no big deal?

I'm used to having one tv in lounge do right now I'd privacy say no. But I Never say Never! Dosen't mean I judge any one that does for a single second.

I've only ever had a tv in my room once and it was lovely. It's more laziness in getting ariels sorted than moral fibre!

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:35:46

The OP is called Ispywith - it's at the top of every page ...

What on earth is a "pacific individual circumstance"? I suppose you mean specific?

Oxford isn't generally referred to as "pseudo-intellectual" (note the correct spelling).

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:36:55

Sorry dear I'm on my new whizzy I phone and the keyboard is rather whizzy and a bit small.

BeerTricksPott3r Fri 16-Nov-12 18:38:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:39:51

I'm thinking of a few traits I would not want to bestow upon the fruit of my womb.

Narrow minded.

I think I'd rather them play on a few too many games, personally.

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:47:43

Thank you BeerTricksPott3r! This really is marvellous fun!

PickledFanjoCat - it's very difficult not to be all those things when you are as innately brilliant as I am. What's more my syntax is excellent ...

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:48:53

Your funny. I think your a robot come from the future where wii consoles started a Nuclear war, after becoming "self-aware "

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:49:34

Your corporal whizzy

BeerTricksPott3r Fri 16-Nov-12 18:52:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:53:53

I think you mean "you're". It's the contracted version of "you are" and the apostrophe shows the omission of the "a" at the beginning of "are". "Your" denotes possession.

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:55:03

Very good point BeerTricks!

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 18:56:48

Sorry corporal whizzy.

Please don't hurt me.

SoupDragon Fri 16-Nov-12 18:57:55

So, you're pathetic

Would that be right, Surrey?

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 19:00:11

It's my whizzy phone. My grammar is reasonable. Not good, just reasonable.

But in my defence corporal whizzy I am making no bold claims here with regards my intellectual prowess.

SurreyMummy2 Fri 16-Nov-12 19:00:34

Spot on, SoupDragon! Well done!

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 19:01:53

Surreymum, you aren't coming across as very likable.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 19:03:51

Surreymummy why don't you have a go on call of duty and shoot the face off a few zombies. You seem the type to enjoy it.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 19:04:15

And, fwiw, I cont care where you studied. I do dislike sneery posters who revel in their intellectual "superiority" and have a total lack of self-awareness.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 19:05:28

Hold still, people! I think we've found a new xenia!

I think it is madness yes and we all have to live in this world, which is made up of people, some of whom get used to this madness very early on.

Butkin Fri 16-Nov-12 19:07:35

So they are buying them an XBox for Christmas - fair enough. The DC then needs a TV to play it on. Small flat screen TVs with built in DVDs can be bought for well under 100 pounds these days (I just found one on line for 75 pounds). I don't see the problem.

Tho I don't think "vile" is the word you're looking for. "Madness" suits smile

BeerTricksPott3r Fri 16-Nov-12 19:08:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BIWI Fri 16-Nov-12 19:11:10

I think you do Xenia a disservice ...

But the kids don't know the value. It's not even about how much something costs. It's the actual thing and to get loads of these things all in one just seems a bit sad to me. Even if they were all off freecycle, would you still want your 7 year old overwhelmed by all these gadgets at Xmas....and then a month later, just thinking of them as completely normal and needed? Because that's what'll happen.

If I had a seven year old I would spend oodles and oodles on a really lovely dollshouse, if I could, because I think it's worth it. He/she wouldn't have the slightest idea of its value except the one they accorded to it (I hope!)......

This is my opinion- get all het up at me for being judgemental if you want, but on MN people twist those round all the time. Gets in the way of the actual discussion.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 19:12:38

Oooooh, I had a proper pre-teen thing for christopher lambert.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Fri 16-Nov-12 19:15:15

oh and worra last night I squashed a cardboard box right in front of DS2 and handed it to him saying your line 'here's your xmas pressie son, its an x box' he rolled his eyes but is still chuckling to himself today.

^ LOL grin
that's hilarious!

BeerTricksPott3r Fri 16-Nov-12 19:19:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 19:20:28


madmomma Fri 16-Nov-12 19:34:00

What a mess! Can't believe the nastiness on this thread. Just no need for it at all. Really repulsive. sad

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 19:55:25

What nastiness? Did I miss some?

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 19:59:09

<would like to converse and evaluate with those around me>

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:00:36

Rudolph, I said that surreymummy was the new xenia.

But I didn't say cunt.

Or frog.


PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:01:15

It's the most magical time of the yeeeeeear. smilesmile

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:01:46

I'm too new for Xenia I think but she sounds a treat.

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:03:07

Does that count as repulsive now then?


The whole thread is as mad as a box of frogs <runs>

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:03:51

She's around. Just start a thread saying that you want to give up a high powered job to be a sahm. Its like a siren call to her.

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:06:00

Or AIBU to think that poor people can't be hungry cos they're quite fat really. That should do it.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:06:03

shock I'm tellin' on you. You... Sexist... No, that's not right... Ageist.... Nooooo.... Racialist. That's it!

PoppyAmex Fri 16-Nov-12 20:06:11

Or that you are in the market for an island

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:07:08

Or, I don't care whether my dc go to university, and I think you're daft if you do.

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:07:41

<hangs head>
I am a racialamalist monster. And offensive to boxes.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:10:13

OMG I can't believe that post is still there! Why doesn't mnhq CARE <rends garments and wails>

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:10:21

Wait.. What about living with someone without being married and wanting child support? Would that do it? I think I have a memory.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:12:40

Yes, that should alert her.

BOFingSanta Fri 16-Nov-12 20:15:26

I think quirrelquarrel made a very sensible point actually. But I may be biased, as I love dolls' houses.

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:15:34

I could start something about private schools all being bollocks <muses>

LizzieVereker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:17:31

I think you should all take a leaf out of my book. I have whittled an x Box out of locally sourced, fair trade, sustainable wood approved by the Soil Soceity. Using my various PHDs in everything, I have programmed it to play only one game in which the player has to decline Latin verbs. When my DCs have broadened their knowledge sufficiently we will donate it to the Workhouse.

BOFingSanta Fri 16-Nov-12 20:18:47

No no no, you are all missing the point. If Xenia is around, she can make anything about how we need more high-powered working women. The challenge is to get her to say it on your mooncup thread.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:18:54

Bof, if I bought ds a dolls house he would not be impressed.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:19:54

Couldn't you have a cellar full of zombies?

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:20:16

We will welcome her to the XF fred, to talk WOHM power politics.

We have Sylvanian houses. They're more plastic than I'd like, but they are sweet. I covet a three-floor Sindy townhouse for my own self.

PoppyAmex Fri 16-Nov-12 20:21:58

Just this question will do:
How much do you earn?

BOFingSanta Fri 16-Nov-12 20:23:01

DP bought a dolls' house in a charity shop. He intends to make metal shutters for the windows and rig it out as a crack den.

BegoniaBampot Fri 16-Nov-12 20:23:41

but quirrel - i assume a 7 yr old won't have any idea the price of an x box and tv. how is that different from you spending a fortune on a dolls house which your child has no idea to the cost, mumble, mumble- feeling a bit thick, mumble, mumble...

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:24:45

We don't have crack dens in Sylvania.

That's nice though, he can do mini-graffiti. And teeny tiny used condoms outside.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:27:22

Some of those little weirdy fucks in sylvania look like they would benefit from a night in the crack house..

That's exactly my point- that the point isn't (I promise there's a point to this. oh lolz) how much money it costs. Someone was saying that you could get an X box for comparatively little and so it was fine to heap cheap gadgets on a kiddy. What I was saying that the price wasn't the issue because the child won't even know the cost it's what the gadget will bring to the child that counts.
So a very expensive and beautifully made dollshouse will IMHO be much better for a 7 year old than a limited gadget. Am I making more sense? sorry! I confuse myself at times grin

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:31:59

He could sell the idea to le toy van. They'd lap it up, he'll make a fortune!

I so wanted a Triang dollshouse with green shutters I saw in an antique shop in the summer. The lady on the till didn't know how much it was hmm

pop in the missing commas as you wish blush

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:34:30

But a dolls house or farm, or whatever wouldn't appeal to many children. Ds for one. Although, he is getting lego. Lots and lots of lego.

<Treads on yet another fucking lego piece>

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:36:14

pickled shock you've been here ages, no? you're not <whispers> a newbie, are you?

RudolphUcker Fri 16-Nov-12 20:36:29

You could build your own crack den, from Lego.
Or a big one, from Duplo. was just a leetle example. Insert "supremely expensive lego set" (aww....which I'd still love) wherever I've said "dollshouse".
I mean. Kids don't want only Xboxes.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:38:20

my dad built me a dolls house for my first xmas. it was a replica of our house that we lived in. my sister chopped the chimneys off with the tool kits she got for xmas some years later angry sad

I'm off to look at dollshouse porn now. Caught the bug.
I really need to go to one of those museums.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:39:49

I've been posting shite since about may. Before then I was sensible and using the advice bits..

So not very long at all..

shock Tired

Does anyone remember the bits in Chalet School where there were all sorts of miraculously intricate dolls houses sculpted by Tom Gay and a girl won it every Christmas? and sometimes the votes were rigged so girls in the San got one?

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:41:49

I fucking hate lego. My house has been taken over by little yellow squares that burrow into the carpet and maim you as you walk around. I'm not allowed to touch it (because I'm clumsy and smash it. I dropped the dog on the batcave)

A lego crack den would be ace.

He has built an asylum. And a lego me. That he keeps putting in the asylum then laughing.

7 year olds are vile. wink

takataka Fri 16-Nov-12 20:42:33


TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:43:32

ooh i thought you were much older than that pickled. welcome to Mn grin

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 20:43:48

My gramps built me a dolls house when I was 3, I loved it. It got smashed up by my stepdad when I was 11. Twat.

stephrick Fri 16-Nov-12 20:44:24

ok it was a while ago, DD is now 17, but she had the Bratz dolls at 7, save your, money, now it's an I pad.

I'd love a dolls house, I want to buy little furniture and decorate it.

Id have hated one when I was 7

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 20:44:58

Cheers tired

valiumredhead Fri 16-Nov-12 21:12:40

I think you mean "you're". It's the contracted version of "you are" and the apostrophe shows the omission of the "a" at the beginning of "are". "Your" denotes possession

I was brought up to believe that it is the height of bad manners to correct someone's grammar or speech. I have brought me console playing son the same way. What a shame you feel the need to belittle someone else surrey

I think I'd rather chat to a polite gamer than a sneery know it all any day.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 21:18:51

that's what i was 'yuck'ing about valium

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 21:22:56

Valium, they clearly don't teach manners at oxford!

I think Surrey was joking.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 21:35:15

do you? I dont.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 21:36:27

I've been traumatised all night. I've been snorting apostrophes.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 16-Nov-12 21:41:15

This thread is a load of bollocks.


I miss Lego. The kids won't let me take it out any more sad.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 21:44:41

mayrz, you can have ds if you want? he comes with crates of the bloody stuff.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 16-Nov-12 21:48:31

Ok, will you take ds1 [hopeful]?

LucieMay Fri 16-Nov-12 21:49:05

A doll's house has to be the most random suggestion ever for a 7 year old boy. Odd very odd.

BegoniaBampot Fri 16-Nov-12 21:50:31

we used to build lego assault courses and force the hamster through it. best was the little closed in tunnel. see that's what comes from being creative and old fashioned and having no games consuls. that poor hamster would've been untraumatised if we'd only had an xbox to pass the time on. did have an old green screen, poing, poing tennis thing that we thought was the height of sophistication though. got it for Christmas, the neighbours were probably tut tutting at the frivolousness of it all.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 21:51:41

boys can like dolls' houses.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 21:51:52

I got a zx spectrum when I was about 10.

Amazing it was!

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 21:52:51

begonia was it an amstrad? we had one of those.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 21:54:39

I had a dewberry you plugged in the telly with two rectangles and a square ball.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 16-Nov-12 21:55:06

This is why I can't use an apostrophe now innit.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 16-Nov-12 21:55:57

I had an old wooden doll's house that dd and ds2 used to play with. They used the old MacDonalds toys.

You are probably all too young to remember, but about 12 to 15 years ago MacDonalds did a great line in miniature action men and barbies. They were fantastic, they fit the doll's house, they were great for holidays. They and the old wooden bricks and the doll's house made all sorts of action games possible. In fact they looked a bit like the buildings they soldiers trudge through in CoD.

I loved those games [nostalgic]

LucieMay Fri 16-Nov-12 21:59:06

But how many actually do booyoo? And at 7? Ds would be utterly dismayed if I presented gif with a doll's house! I didn't even want a doll's house as a child. It just seems an utterly weird suggestion and I can't grasp exactly what is so great about them anyway?

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Fri 16-Nov-12 22:02:11

I have to say, none of ds's friends would play with a dollshouse.

Mary, how grubby is he? Does he pick his nose?

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 16-Nov-12 22:10:20

No, but you would have to turn your house into a drug den. And he collects mouldy teacups and cigarette butts.

And eats fridgeful's of food at 2 am.

I think I was 7 when I got a speak and spell. Did me no good, I still can't fucking spell

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 22:27:37

well i dont know all the 7 year old boys in the world so i cant say how many. (odd question)

It was an example grin
jesus christ

BegoniaBampot Sat 17-Nov-12 09:52:25

Who mentioned the Chalet School doll's houses - I remember those. the Playmobile big Egyptian Pyramid is a fabby and sort of like a Dolly's house that boys might go for.

I always wanted a big fuck off Hornby train set in the loft with a station and people and trees and animals and...

Was me- but they always sounded SO impossible for any schoolkid to make- electricity etc. My mum made a dollshouse which is amazingly complicated and detailed and it took her ages, much more than a year, and took up loads of her time.

I do give up with the gender bending on MN but I say, kids love to make their own- give them kid sized tools and bits of wood and teach them how to use it all- they'll surprise you with what they make!

Or give them a secondhand cupboard and a £20 voucher for materials to start them off with making/buying their own furniture. I had lots of cupboard dolls houses grin aw nostalgia sad

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 10:11:31

Yes ye are olde vile.

valiumredhead Sat 17-Nov-12 10:42:19

not me - MY - I hate my daft auto correct.

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 11:09:21

Point is quirrel a lot of kids will have both.

My nephew has consoles and we could also play outside with wood and so forth.

As soon as someone mentions x box on here sometimes incorrect assumptions are made.

AlienRefluxovermypoppy Sat 17-Nov-12 11:41:49

Well, I've got DS a second hand WII for Xmas, he's going to love it!! but I know it won't stop him wanting to go out on his bike with us, or play football, or paint or bake with me, yadda yadda, who gives a fuck? long as you're not out of your depth money wise?

Happy Christmas one and all grin

Hmm yes but I was just saying that a whole load of gadgets all at once was something I'd never give personally.....and then I disagreed with another poster who was saying that if it was cheap why not. That's all.

maybenow Sat 17-Nov-12 11:48:10

Well there's no way that my kids would be taking over the main family tv with an xbox.

It'd be you wouldn't it maybe grin

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 11:51:44

I would! grin

I fear ill be on the x box when ds is in bed when we get one!

maybenow Sat 17-Nov-12 11:54:03


SurreyMummy2 Sat 17-Nov-12 12:32:47

Oh, quirrelquarrel - you got me!

No, they don't teach manners at Oxford. They teach them alongside elocution and deportment at pre-prep schools.

Uppermid Sat 17-Nov-12 12:35:11

Mine are getting a piano. Is that vile too?

PoppyAmex Sat 17-Nov-12 12:35:17

So we can assume you didn't attend a prep-school?

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:36:52

I was sure it was me that was right too.

It would have been so much more exciting my way.

SurreyMummy2 Sat 17-Nov-12 12:41:58

I actually have impeccable manners, it's just that ... Oh dear, my manners prevent me from articulating my true and honest thoughts.

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 12:43:16

Well I'm sure you could just force yourself to push them aside just this once Surrey.

BIWI Sat 17-Nov-12 12:52:51

Didn't stop you before, SurreyMummy2

(although I think you are actually a hiding under the bridge joke construct)

Bubblenut Sat 17-Nov-12 12:54:38

It is ridiculous but not vile.

Some parents are happy with their children living in their bedroom.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Sat 17-Nov-12 12:56:13

What BIWI said.

We all think we have a good sense of humour, good taste, and good manners. Even cunts.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Sat 17-Nov-12 12:57:32

Bubblenut, that statement has been covered very early on in the thread.

TiredBooyhoo Sat 17-Nov-12 13:06:50

nope. not me. i have no manners. rough as they come me.

but in all seriousness. surrey's not for real, right? <shudder>

SurreyMummy2 Sat 17-Nov-12 13:06:51

I'm sorry but I won't engage in conversation with someone who thinks it is acceptable to use that heinous word.

Now if the rest of you will excuse me my dogs have just arrived in the boot room covered in mud and my housekeeper is nowhere to be found. Things like this are so tiresome. Maybe I should try getting some virtual animals and a robot or two instead ...

TiredBooyhoo Sat 17-Nov-12 13:07:52

ah ok. 2/10

I have 4 ds's and large age gaps, so they all like to watch/do different things. The older 2 both have tvs and games consoles in their rooms.

Their rooms are their own private space to go when they want to watch something noone else wants too, play on games or like ds2 read books in peace without babies poking at his book.

BlameItOnTheCuervHoHoHo Sat 17-Nov-12 13:25:48

Bless. I've hurt the poor ickle lady's delicate sensibilities. How on earth will I cope? Oh. Hang on...

I find your habit of correcting peoples grammar and spelling far more heinous.

Isn't cunt actually a very old word? And its only recently that its become a swearword. I've read some fab feminist writings on the subject.

PickledFanjoCat Sat 17-Nov-12 17:48:58

She just ran out of steam!

Ginandtonicandamassageplease Sat 17-Nov-12 19:31:08

Is it still ok to talk about the original topic or has the moment passed??? confused

^ I'm interested!
I'm very interested in this kind of topic. Because I'm such a luddite I wonder if there's this big thing I'm missing because I'm obviously in a minority.

Ginandtonicandamassageplease Sun 18-Nov-12 08:55:35

Ok, here goes. (Peeking head above parapet) I don't think it's vile but I wouldn't buy those things for my children at 7. I don't like the idea of little children having such grown up things. I think they should be playing with dolls houses and fire stations and games which make them use their imagination more. Having said that my children aren't 7 yet so I'm not judging wink!!!!!! but I would like to stick to my guns on this one.
Now I'll put my hard hat on and wait for the shouting to start!

BIWI Sun 18-Nov-12 09:02:40

Well that's exactly the thing, though, Ginandtonic, you are judging! And I really think you might find that as your children get older that you will change your mind. Or at least change your behaviour, even if you haven't changed your mind.

I'm also interested that you think that 'those things' aren't games that involve children using their imaginations. Why do you think that?

And - what one person plays with for hours on end can cause death by tedium for another. Lego for example. I could never stand it and it bored me to tears. Give me a book, however, and I would be happy for hours.

BIWI Sun 18-Nov-12 09:03:41

Well ds2 is 9 but at 7 the only fire station he was interested in was Lego ones and once he'd built them he was no longer interested.

fuzzpig Sun 18-Nov-12 10:36:02
TiredBooyhoo Sun 18-Nov-12 15:13:12

how is an xbox with age appropriate games and more grown up than watching an age appropriate dvd or tv show? at least with the games they are having to engage their brain and interact. there are lots of great games for children and families available for the different consoles. i think it's maybe ignorance (of what the games actually involve or what's available) that is behind some people's reluctance to allow the games at home.

Ginandtonicandamassageplease Sun 18-Nov-12 15:26:02

I wasn't just talking about games, I was talking about the idea of having a tv or DVD player too. Also BIWI, I'm not sure I understand what it is you mean by judging. If I had said that anyone who lets their children play computer games is a terrible person who is obviously down the pub instead of looking after their children then I would be judging but I didn't say that. I just said that I didn't think that I would buy those things. I don't think I will change my mind as there are lots of other things I haven't caved in on that lots of other children have or do. As I say though I'm not judging as I'm sure that my children have or do things that others don't. It's just a difference of opinion that's all.

Lia87 Sun 18-Nov-12 15:31:52

if they can afford it why not, as long as the child has other toys too

fuzzpig Sun 18-Nov-12 16:08:02

My DCs (5&3) just shared an hour on wii fit plus. This included lots of running around like mad things doing the 'jogging' game. Now I can't deny it'd be better for them to just run around outside, but since we have no garden (sad) and DH and I aren't well enough to take them to the park, this is certainly a decent compromise for now.

I also have some hilarious videos of my adorable little boy boogying to just dance (and strictly of course) grin he is heading for a career on the stage I think...

Sorry for waffling, I just think there are some bloody brilliant games for families.

fuzzpig Sun 18-Nov-12 16:08:32

... and therefore a console can be a wonderful family gift.

Vivalebeaver Sun 18-Nov-12 16:21:29

Agree Fuzzpig, as a family we have lots of fun with Wii Fit and Family Ski. They're really good games that everyone joins in with.

Aspiemum2 Sun 18-Nov-12 18:45:18

What's wrong with a tv/DVD player? Our house isn't huge so when cousins etc come over its great for adults to be downstairs and they're all upstairs watching a video. They're not connected to the aerial so they don't watch television on it

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