to think everyone thinks everyone else is going to loads of parties

(66 Posts)
sarahseashell Wed 14-Nov-12 17:47:57

what is this 'party season' of which they keep on about in magazines etc. Is everyone really deluged with party invitations confused I'm quite old and never find myself having to buy loads of frocks and wonder which christmas party to attend etc
<unpopular emoticon>

Euphemia Wed 14-Nov-12 17:49:12

I go grudgingly to one party - my work's one.

One the only thing I miss about working is a christmas do.

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 17:51:17

I know what you mean! I haven't been to a work "do" in about 8 years! (not because I opt out, just don't have that kinda job, but even back when I did, and when I tagged along to DH's, they weren't that glam anyway, usually a not great meal followed by a spat about splitting the bill at the end of the table then taxis!)

friends don't really do christmas drinks parties either, everyone's busy with getting round all their rellies it seems

its the season where I'm LEAST likely to get invited to christmas parties because everyone just seems extra booked up with family stuff


bedmonster Wed 14-Nov-12 17:53:56

I'm a sahm so don't even get a works Xmas party. We organise a girls night out but I'm usually so skint from buying everyone else presents that I cant afford to get myself a new frock!
I do fondly remember the days of being hectic in December but it was pre dc, and to be honest, they're now of an age where its a pleasure spending time with them, watching a film and wrapping presents in the evenings leading up to the big day.
So while I remember them fondly, I wouldn't change what I have now iyswim.

Selks Wed 14-Nov-12 17:54:22

I'm not.

I shudder at the thought of Christmas parties (particularly work ones)

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 17:54:59

and I've never known anyone to "snog the boss", or anyone "from accounts" at their work do either!

Autumn12 Wed 14-Nov-12 17:55:09

Well (not to brag!) I have been invited to 7 work related Christmas functions. It wouldn't look good if I didn't go , and I don't particularly want to go! I'm trying to move house right in the middle of it all and could do without it.

I woudl much prefer to sit on teh sofa in my PJ's eating chips than dress up and make small talk with people I'm not that interested in sad

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 17:56:08

sorry bedmonster, but I think I was sick a little in my mouth wink. Would be totally possible to do both (if I got invited to any hmm

No invites here at all
Im very unpopular sad

Yama Wed 14-Nov-12 18:01:38

Our work do costs £40 and we've just been told that doesn't include the usual half bottle of wine.

So, with forking out £40 + booze + taxis there's no way I'm forking out for a new dress. No way

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Wed 14-Nov-12 18:01:53

True. What are all those women in the Boden catalogue in the velvet dresses at the bottom of carved oak staircases looking at? Where are they? Why do I not go to these places?

Tis a mystery.

RedGreenRouge Wed 14-Nov-12 18:02:44

Two work ones - I'll enjoy one and be horribly bored at the other. There will probably be various ones held by family and friends, which range between tedium and fun. We'll have to go to them all, though, or upset people.

I used to be very jealous when I was a sahm. Now I do have work dos it's made me realise how rubbish I am at socialising. I'm just hopeless at small talk and feel very blush to be sat there wondering how to get someone to talk to me.

So they aren't all they are cracked up to be. Though that's probably not helpful.

Have you anyone that you can invite to your own party? Even if its just neighbours for drinks and mince pies.

WilsonFrickett Wed 14-Nov-12 18:03:12

YY Mulled. And what of the sparkly handbags? Who is buying the sparkly handbags? Will no-one think of the sparkly handbags?

bedmonster Wed 14-Nov-12 18:05:00

Sorry stinkin, what has made you feel so sick? The fact that i enjoy my time with my dc? confused

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Wed 14-Nov-12 18:37:23

Wilson It is me. I have loads several of them. They squat at the back of my bottom drawer, twinkling quietly to themselves. One day, maybe I will be asked to a Hogmanay party in a Scottish castle with lots of elegant people. THEN we'll see who has the sparkliest bag!

OldMumsy Wed 14-Nov-12 18:37:25

Think she was joking.

OldMumsy Wed 14-Nov-12 18:38:50

I have 4 sparkly beaded bags that I have never used. Why? <shakes fist at sky...!>

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 18:40:42

"Sorry stinkin, what has made you feel so sick? The fact that i enjoy my time with my dc?"

no, the fact that your post implied that enjoying your time with DCs is at odds with enjoying evenings out. How are they mutually exclusive? (apart from financial contraint)

akaemmafrost Wed 14-Nov-12 18:42:30

When I was in the army we certainly had a party season I was pissed from the beginning of December right up to new year, good times grin.

Now, not so much. I always have a big night out with my sister where we wear sparkly frocks, big hair and make up but that's about it.

EmmaNemms Wed 14-Nov-12 18:43:18

Ooh ooh - I have just been invited to a masked ball-type affair with a martini bar by some new people, parents of my son's school friend. I am really excited - he is a professional musician and I think it will be all arty and creative. It's the most exciting invite I have had in a few years!! Other than that, bugger all, apart from a village safari supper which I am organising myself, which promises to be a good night. That's more than enough for me!

Bunbaker Wed 14-Nov-12 18:43:41

I know what you mean. We don't host or go to any parties. We might go to a friend's (underheated) house for a drink or two, but that's it. I wear jeans and a warm jumper. We don't eat canapes or multiple course meals.

I don't know anyone in real life who goes to or hosts parties like the ones featured in magazines.

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 18:43:56

"What are all those women in the Boden catalogue in the velvet dresses at the bottom of carved oak staircases looking at? Where are they? Why do I not go to these places?"

if such an imaginary works do venue was suggested at anywhere I've ever worked, noone would pay up and there would have been a splinter group to some shite all you can eat chinese buffet that "was really good last year" hmm (no it wasn't!)

and I don't think that anywhere where you can put your profiteroles on the same plate as your rice and spring rolls is worthy of a sparkly bag! sad

blanksquit Wed 14-Nov-12 18:44:53

None for me. I was watching Lorraine this morning and learning about her "little black dress diet" and i thought - no i don't think I'll bother - no black dress and nowhere to wear one.

and I've never known anyone to "snog the boss", or anyone "from accounts" at their work do either! ooh I have. I know quite a few people who changed jobs because of a mistake at the office Xmas party.

EmmaNemms Wed 14-Nov-12 18:45:35

Plus a traditional extended family gathering just before Christmas, which we have been doing 20+ years, which I love. Not glam at all though.

WaitingForMe Wed 14-Nov-12 18:46:18

I get lots of invites. I have a social family and because I'm self-employed I do a lot of networking so there are lots of meals etc through that. Sadly I won't be doing much this year as PFB is due tomorrow.

I love it but a hell of a lot of it is technically working. Lots of business cards getting passed. I'm also proactive and if I hear about a useful sounding event I'll contact the organiser.

So the velvet dress at the bottom of a staircase? That'll be the restaurant that has a monthly networking lunch and which puts on a fancy Christmas do. The guests have bought their tickets, dragged their spouses along and are doing the usual chit chat just later and in a slightly different format. As a regular, I'll get sent a snazzy invite but really they are just after my money!

Then there's gallery and museum evenings where you dress up and view the collection by fairy light with a glass of wine. Those can be fun. Again, if you've attended one you get sent invites. Arrange to go with some friends and it's fab.

Nope my work had a Christmas do but it's fancy dress so I don't get the chance to wear a fancy frock. DH's work are having a lunch rather than evening meal this year so I don't even get that either.

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 18:48:22

In fact even when I was at uni and there were usually more parties than you could go to, it dried up a bit at christmas when people left in dribs and drabs before the end of term to go home to their families to sit in pubs with their school friends

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 18:49:42

"and I've never known anyone to "snog the boss", or anyone "from accounts" at their work do either! ooh I have. I know quite a few people who changed jobs because of a mistake at the office Xmas party"

so they DO exist? grin, I thought those sort of office parties just happened in magazines and on telly!

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Wed 14-Nov-12 18:52:07

Hmm. Museum/evening/wine/fairy lights with friends sounds pretty good! Maybe I need to get proactive.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Wed 14-Nov-12 18:52:43

Those parties happened where I used to work too, but that's cos it was accounts.

I once snogged someone at my then husband's work do (before we married though) blush

Lavenderhoney Wed 14-Nov-12 19:08:17

I used to to loads before marriage and dc. Nothing now sadly. I am a sahm now. I have a wardrobe full of ball gowns and cocktail dresses, shoes and sparkly handbags that may never go out again. I dont open it much, they all seem so accusingsmile Plus I cant fit the dresses now.

I know quite a few people who have been very very indiscreet at christmas partiessmile perhaps a thread could be started?smile

I had friends in all industries though, and army, and sports, the arts, so it was very full on. It depends who you know, plus I used to arrange some myselfsmile

Wouldn't recognise myself now...

Teahouse Wed 14-Nov-12 19:14:49

Haven't been to a Christmas or New Year's party for probably 20 years...actually, what is a party?

LettyAshton Wed 14-Nov-12 19:24:45

I haven't been to one either for 15 years.

I don't think I'd enjoy an office party any more, though. If I got pissed/flirted/danced it would be downright embarrassing - no, make that certifiable .

Also, why is everyone so busy ? I'm not. I got an e-mail from a "friend" who said we must meet up but the first slot she had open was in late January...

crypes Wed 14-Nov-12 19:26:31

I wanna party like a celeb!

WilsonFrickett Wed 14-Nov-12 19:39:31

I wouldn't normally write about my Oh's office party for fear of outing myself, but as there will be approx 1000 people at this venue every night in December:

A huge conference hall on the outskirts of Town. Actually at the airport, in fact. Done in an Egyptian theme. Cos nothing - nothing says Christmas to me like 'entering through our mysterious pyramids and walking like an Egyptian.'

Shoot. Me. Now.

crazyhatlady Wed 14-Nov-12 19:43:56

Almost every member of my family have August birthdays, including myself and my son. Christmas parties have a LOT to answer for. I'll be staying home this year.

Meglet Wed 14-Nov-12 19:48:51

I used to go to one work meal a year. It really wasn't that exciting.

Party dress season is alien to me.

bedmonster Wed 14-Nov-12 20:08:08

Stinkin I didn't say they were mutually exclusive did I? It's a pretty obvious fact that generally you go out less when you have small children. I have just learnt to enjoy that and not feel bitter that I can't go out as much as I used to.
I have an evening out most weeks, but as I am a SAHM mum I no longer have a works Xmas party.

Coffeeformeplease Wed 14-Nov-12 20:15:10

The Christmas work do I really miss, they were absolutely mad, I loved them. Oh well. This year I'll have a night out with my Zumba class, I'm curious. Husband's work does children#s x-mas party, nothing for spouses.
I do my own x-mas party then pah

MrsCantSayAnything Wed 14-Nov-12 20:18:32

Sarah it's the magazine's job to sell a lifestyle. That's all it is.

MoomieAndFreddie Wed 14-Nov-12 20:57:26

ha i know, i always think this when i read shit magazines

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Wed 14-Nov-12 21:13:39

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that these parties are mythical. The sales & marketing Christmas party at work is fairly hair-raising but I'm not invited sad

Fairyliz Wed 14-Nov-12 21:39:24

Ha you need to work in the public sector; we use to have great parties. Lots of snogging and shagging went on at the Christmas do. Must have been the excitement of getting away from local government offices t a local hotel!

TwitchyTail Wed 14-Nov-12 21:44:42

I've never been to more than one Christmas party (at a push) in any given year, and certainly none that have required a sequinned "party dress" and matching bag.

So it's either a myth, or everyone hates me.

sweetheart Wed 14-Nov-12 21:48:31

Oh blimey I wish it was mythical! We are mad in December, every date gets booked up months in advance and as even started spreading into November. I end up dreading most of it.

wonderstuff Wed 14-Nov-12 21:59:04

My work do got cancelled because not enough people wanted to go - dh has one but we aren't going to go because with hiring a tux, getting a dress + cost of transport - all to spend an evening with people we don't really like all that much - we decided better to spend the money on a day out with the kids (steam engine to see santa). A mate is having one, its tarts and vicars themed - no posh dress needed.

Bunbaker Wed 14-Nov-12 22:16:24

"Oh blimey I wish it was mythical! We are mad in December, every date gets booked up months in advance and as even started spreading into November. I end up dreading most of it"

So how do you get to go to so many parties then? Our work do is in January at a holiday camp. I will probably go out for a meal with some mum friends in December, but we don't really "party" We don't give parties and none of our friends do either.

MrsCantSayAnything Thu 15-Nov-12 07:08:29

I think people with a wide social circle...and those who take part in a lot of hobbies and activities are bound to get lots of invitations. Its a very middle class thing isn't it? Having time and money to go sailing/play cricket/do amateur dramatics....whatever you do....and people who do things like that are sociable.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Thu 15-Nov-12 08:46:03

I organise my work Christmas do and by god I like to make sure that people have a good time. Free bar, decent food and a venue swish enough to make use of the sparkliest of dresses and beadiest of bags! The downside is that I never enjoy it because I'm always worried about OTHER PEOPLE enjoying themselves (and I don't like having too many drinks in the presence of my boss, who still thinks I'm the consummate professional...little does he know...)

Eliza22 Thu 15-Nov-12 08:50:57

I love this thread..... Makes my Scrooge-like "bah humbug" attitude to Christmas parties look quite normal. The very idea of all that, makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 09:02:21

I have one xmas get-together at a restaurant with a group of 10 or so friends - that's my party season grin

HullyEastergully Thu 15-Nov-12 09:10:43

Christmas is just a great excuse for even more get-togethers and piss-ups than usual. Fab.

wordfactory Thu 15-Nov-12 09:23:02

I usually get invited to a few but that's probably because I have a portfolio career IYSWIM.

And one of my girlfriends always throws an xmas party just for her female friends. It's a hoot. She does her house up like an Lampoon's Christmas and orders in food and drink and waiter service. But you could just as easily go in jeans as a frock IYSWIM.

sweetheart Thu 15-Nov-12 09:39:34

Dh and i both have a work xmas function, plus I play a team sport and we have a Chrismtas meal for that. Dh plays cards with friends and they go for a big night at a casino in December, my daughter plays a team sport so we have a parents Christmas function for that. The school mums usually go out for Christmas drinks and we also have a friends get together. Our street is also very close and full of children so we usually have a Christmas Street party and organise a secret santa for the kids and on top of that we have 4 family birthdays in December which will usually mean a meal out for each.

TabbyM Thu 15-Nov-12 11:08:46

Not just me then...

I have an office one (just a meal) and one with a group of DH and that's it. Our families are v low key too.

ReindeerBollocks Thu 15-Nov-12 11:11:41

DH and I used to go to works parties then as an automatic, we would get invited to lots of chambers parties too. It was a good opportunity to go out and get trollied over Christmas.

Now he works for himself its much more difficult to negotiate parties so we don't bother. Plus I SAH, so don't get a works do either.

StiffyByng Thu 15-Nov-12 11:16:23

I think this every year. I haven't had cause to dress up in anything velvet since my early 20s. Our work Christmas party (public sector) is £5 a head to go straight after work to a windowless conference room where crisps and wine boxes are offered until 11pm. I see all the stuff in magazines about party food and clothes and it's a completely different world! I have always thought I was just very unpopular so this thread is rather heartening.

I often wonder who these people are. When I worked FT, we had one Christmas do, then a smaller group of us from work might go out for drinks/ lunch one day around Christmas but that was about it. I meet up with old school friends for a meal between Christmas and New Year when we're all back in one place visiting parents but that's a casual dress thing usually in a pub or chain like Zizzi (must be for my benefit that it's been kept that way as all my friends are solicitors and doctors earning several times my salary!) We sometimes meet up with DH's geek friends over the Christmas period too. None of the few Christmas get-togethers I attend are dressy affairs which require a new outfit!! I wish they were - I feel like I'm missing out! sad

TeentheBean Thu 15-Nov-12 11:36:05

I think the days of works Christmas parties are long gone, just not affordable in the current climate. The last one I went to was pants anyway, everyone in the firm sitting in a large room (not decorated in any Christmassy shape or form) eating a bland meal and once everyone had finished eating, the bar closed, the lights went on and the staff came out with mops and buckets. Came away feeling all dressed up and nowhere to go, certainly not guaranteed to fill anyone with the Christmas spirit. grin

Mrsjay Thu 15-Nov-12 11:38:57

Lorraine kelly was going on about party season and she wheels out that 'uhu' bloke to tell us what we should be wearing , I switch it off, even my single very social sister never goes to all these parties

blibbleflop Thu 15-Nov-12 11:48:32

I'm quite looking forward to my Christmas do. Not too enthused by the menu but the open bar is always fun smile

WkdSM Thu 15-Nov-12 11:52:35

We do quite a bit at Christmas but we do belong to quite a few clubs and do a bit of fundraising so we tend to get a few 'thank you' invites.

Velvet Boden dresses - yuch - would not be seen dead in one - did manage to pick up a black full length fishtail Coast dress for £15 for a local charity shop though!

The one I dread is DH's work do. He runs the company so I have to be on best behaviour. Spent most of last years do trying to make sure a younger employee was not getting off with a Director (as he had been married a few weeks and she was just about to get married). Sigh - that's when you know you are getting older..........

I really like the ones where they have carol singers - makes me feel all Christmacy.

We've put off a Christmsa lunch we were organising to January now as everyone is so busy before Christmas. Gives us something to look forward to and get out a sparkly handbag...........

Bunbaker Thu 15-Nov-12 19:09:17

OH works for himself and is very unsociable anyway, both of our families are hundreds of miles away and don't have parties and neither of us are members of any clubs. My work do is in January at a well known holiday park (I have no intention of going as I prefer to sleep in my own bed at night rather than in a room with someone I barely know and then share a bathroom with a load of others I barely know).

I have a couple of different sets of friends I meet with regularly and we will probably just have a meal out rather than a party.

In my life I just don't know anyone who has these "magazine" parties

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