to only give purees to 8mo DS

(82 Posts)
ElectrifiedTrack Wed 14-Nov-12 15:34:33

DS was weaned at 5mo and started on finger foods at 7. Had a lot of gags (every other day), the odd cough and splutter. Then last week he was tucking into some veg strips and started to choke. Badly. He was silent, growing purple, eyes bulging for a good 30 secs-1 min while I did very strong back blows (TG for reading up on this), then finally brought it up. It scared the living shit out of me.

Since then I have only given him lumpy purees and the odd baby biscuit/those dissolvable puffs etc. I really really can't go back to finger foods. Not at the moment. I feel I know my child and he just isn't ready. Is this going to harm him? I really honestly just cannot steel my nerves and get back on the finger foods yet.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 14-Nov-12 15:35:58

Won't harm him... just make the food manageably lumpy rather than perfectly smooth or he won't get the hang of chewing anything.

PeshwariNaan Wed 14-Nov-12 15:36:03

No, it's not going to harm him. My friend's baby is very similar to yours. She purees him food because self-feeding made him choke. He's 10 months.

MyLastDuchess Wed 14-Nov-12 15:38:24

We did BLW with our son but if I had had an experience like yours I'm sure I would feel the same way! YANBU, take it slowly. It won't help your son if you are on the edge of your seat at every mealtime.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:38:50

of course it isnt going to harm him you must have been terrified at him choking babies do gag but he did seem to choke, listen before babyled weaning came about people pureed babies food and I have yet to see a grown up who cant chew their dinner grin make it lumpier as the weeks go on he iwll be fine

ihavenofuckingclue Wed 14-Nov-12 15:44:20

Its not going to harm him.

But you need to gradually make the food lumpier (is that how you would spell it). If you leave it too long he may start rejecting it.

Just do it really slowly.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:45:50

yes i agree just out more lumps mash rather than puree I think lumpier is a word you know confused OP dont be scared of feeding him just to it gradual and he will be ok

ihavenofuckingclue Wed 14-Nov-12 15:46:17

you leave it too long he may start rejecting it.

Sorry that wasn't clear. I mean if you leave it to long he may reject the Lumpier food when you introduce it. He does need to learn to chew.

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:46:57

Of course not. Just go gentle re introducing them. You are perfectly reasonable, but you would not want to create a real fear for you or food issues for him by leaving it toooo long.

ElectrifiedTrack Wed 14-Nov-12 15:48:03

Thank you, just get the feeling from lots of BLW stuff I've read that you are just supposed to persevere through choking incidents and that not finger feeding after they reach 6 months is this terrible thing.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 15:50:27

Ds was still on purees at that age - mixed with baby rice. Used to make them lumpy rather than smooth. He was prem so a bit behind with eating habits.

My dd is 8 months and only just started having lumpier foods. My older children were eating a wider range of foods by now but like you I felt my dd was struggling so went back to purees for a couple of weeks before trying again and she seems fine now. I would give it 2 weeks and then try the lumpier foods again.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 15:51:03

You can still give things to gnaw on like bread sticks etc just til you both get confident again.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:52:28

that not finger feeding after they reach 6 months is this terrible thing.

no it isn't an awful thing and you are givng him biscuits and those crisp things so he is getting stuff to hold can you give him squishy food like banana so he can chew that, please dont worry about BLW and just feed your baby smile

Ferino Wed 14-Nov-12 15:53:04

What the others said ^

DD is 13 mo and has only just cut her first tooth so there are a lot of things she can't eat because she can't tear or bite into food properly. She was on smooth food with soft lumps for ages. (Having a fussy phase now where she'll eat cut up lumps but absolutely not if they are mixed up with an otherwise smooth food!). Apparently I was the same cutting teeth very late and was on purées for a long time. No harm done!
Well done for dealing with the frightening choking episode, by the way! Make progress with the food when you are feeling braver and when you are happier DS is OK with the chewing etc

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:53:28

No. Gagging is normal. Choking is scary. It is like if your child falls off the slide- you are likely to be more cautious than other parents for a while.

Actually some BLW advocates think you need to be especially careful about choking with a baby who has also has puree as they are more used to sucking to the back of the throat. Just go gentle. Don't. feel you need to rush.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 15:54:21

I am old school and never did BLW - I just 'fed my baby', that involved a bit of everything we were both happy with.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:55:10

I just 'fed my baby', that involved a bit of everything we were both happy with.

thats what I did bit of this bit of that some mushy some not so much

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 15:55:11

*you leave it too long he may start rejecting it.

Sorry that wasn't clear. I mean if you leave it to long he may reject the Lumpier food when you introduce it. He does need to learn to chew*

Really? Are there many people out there who have no ability to chew? hmm
What a load of old cobblers! <<runs for the hills>>

mrscog Wed 14-Nov-12 15:56:08

It's terrifying isn't it? I gave my 8mo DS a big wedge of pear last week, thinking that he'd just suck bits off but he actually chewed off a perfect choke size piece and then did actually choke on it (he did gag as well, but I could tell there was a terrifying window of 10 seconds when he couldn't breathe sad ).

I am now being super careful - he already eats mashed foods rather than purees but I'm only doing finger foods which are very chewable or crumbly until I get my confidence back! He had falafel for lunch which was a really good finger food as it crumbled and was a bit chewy for him.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 15:58:19

I was a nanny for years so weaned a few babies - all had purees much longer than they probably would these days - they all managed to learn to chew grin

WilsonFrickett Wed 14-Nov-12 15:59:15

BLW hadn't been invented in the dark ages so I started on purees. Around 8 months (I think!) I started making everything lumpier, baby got ill with a viral thing and started rejecting the lumpier food, I went back to smooth for a month or so, then re-introduced lumps. (btw, DS is 7! BLW is a fairly new thing)

And he chews fine now!

Don't worry OP. The main thing is not to build it up into a huge deal. Well done on knowing what to do about the choking.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 15:59:29

probably back then inthedarkages valium weaning was very different yet people are still able to chew

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:00:41

Actually, I do remember a pretty radical nanny who weaned a child on grated apple - we all thought she was bonkers. She was way ahead of her time grin

HappyJustToBe Wed 14-Nov-12 16:01:12

You'll get to eating "proper" food even if it takes that bit longer. Hope you're ok, that must have been quite a shock.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:01:45

You coped with the choking well OP, well done!

Your DS sounds like mine was. I ended up pureeing then mashing everything til he was about 1. Every time he tried any finger foods it ended in disaster and I became a nervous wreck. So we stopped and gave it a bit more time before re-introducing.

He's almost 4 now. He eats a very good diet, feeds himself and uses cutlery. If you saw him eating with his BLW friend of the same age you wouldn't see any difference between them. His speech is just fine too.

DD is 6 months and we're just starting weaning. I'm hoping to get her to eat more finger foods, just for easiness, but I won't stress if she doesn't manage.

BridgetBidet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:16:24

My son is 8 months old too. Is it just me or is this baby led weaning shit turning into some kind of weaning fascism? Like you're some kind of bad mother if you don't do it?

It's just another marketed theory, to be honest it makes me cross there's becoming this snobbery about mothers must do it and tut, tutting at purees.

10 years ago BLW didn't exist. 10 year olds aren't fed purees` cos they weren't baby led weaned.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:17:43

Quite bridget!

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:19:26

BLW isn't turning into weaning fascism. It's actually recommended to add finger foods for all babies. Finger foods and purees isn't BLW (or any other label). It's just bog standard government weaning guidance.

But I know what you mean. There are always people who want to feel that their parenting choices are superior. Whether it is weaning, bf, sleep training, access to refined sugar, baby swimming... the list is endless.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:20:02

erm I think so bridget you have to it THIS way THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE
, well no not really all babies are different weaning is different for every baby and as long as a baby is getting fed and food then puree dont puree it is all ok, and as had been said before most grown ups can chew food

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:21:34

Yeah, but you get a totally distorted view of it on MN. People who post on threads about this stuff have views on this stuff. In RL 99% of the people you meet couldn't give a stuff about how you wean your baby. And the ones that do are normally first time mums going out of their mind at the boredom and tedium of being at home with a newborn (or was that just me first time round? It all seems soooooo important)

ihavenofuckingclue Wed 14-Nov-12 16:22:19

10 year olds aren't fed purees` cos they weren't baby led weaned.

Did anyone say that?

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:24:05

Err yes they said that if you leave it too long he may reject it and he needs to learn to chew.

He is 8 months old - he'll learn to chew when he's good and ready imo.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:24:43

Sorry YOU said that ihave grin

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:28:46

Just to be clear what I said (was on phone and perhaps my comment was too brief and open to misunderstanding), when I said "you would not want to create a real fear for you or food issues for him by leaving it toooo long" I was talking about the danger of it becoming a major hurdle to reintroduce them - like the time I refused to drive for a year after an accident and doing it then became this huge thing.

You do see the odd child (didn't Tanya Byron do a series a few years ago) where an incident results in no lumps or finger foods for a very extended periods, and introducing lumps to a child well into their second year is generally thought to be more difficult. I'm not talking about 8 months or 10 or 12. I'm talking about 18 months olds or 2 year olds still on smooth purees.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 14-Nov-12 16:29:20

My DD is 4.5 and we had a weaning talk at the hospital and it was all about purees. They did mention given easy to eat finger foods as well such as chopped banana, breadsticks and carrot batons, but the main thing was purees. I hadn't even heard of BLW until I came on MN well after DD was weaned. With DS I just did purees supplemented with the odd finger food same as DD. If it ain't broke and all that... In your shoes OP I honestly wouldn't worry too much and would go for gradually lumpier purees and v soft finger food such as bananas.

KenLeeeeeee Wed 14-Nov-12 16:31:22

The key to Baby Led Weaning is following your baby's cues anyway, so if he's not ready for chewing food yet, then he's not ready! Don't stress about it. Go at a pace you're all happy with rather than what you feel others think you should be giving him.

jungletoes Wed 14-Nov-12 16:32:09

I weaned my two dds way before blw became the preferred method. My two(teenagers) eat a real variety of different foods and will try anything new. Oh, and of course they don't have everything pureed!

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:34:09

Ooooooo back in my day you had to mash bananas as they swelled in the throat if they got caught and were hard to shoot out if you had to do all that back patting business!

Lesbeadiva Wed 14-Nov-12 16:41:10

What everyone else said. Also chewing ability is linked to speech too isn't it?
I never did blw, just gradually made foods lumpier. Mine did gag a little at times too. It is scary when they choke. YANBU. Just add texture too.

EdgarAllanPond Wed 14-Nov-12 16:47:24

BLW = giving finger food = as old as the hills.

weaning with purees does not mean you don't give them odd bits of toast etc.

EdgarAllanPond Wed 14-Nov-12 16:48:52

yanbu to feed your baby however you wish though.

ElectrifiedTrack Wed 14-Nov-12 16:57:05

Thank you all, right that's settled, we are taking a step back for now.

Sorry to be thick, but when some of you have said adding lumpier foods, could anyone give me some ideas? he is having some lumps and texture eg baby pasta (though he seems to gulp it down whole rather than chew), mashed sweet potato with mince (mince gets a quick whizz in the blender), lightly pureed do I just do this but make it gradually less blended?

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:58:48

so do I just do this but make it gradually less blended?

simple answer is yes smile
following BLW or any sort of baby advice is fine but as long as parents realise these rules are not set in stone and can bend a little ,

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:59:31

Basically just blend less. With stuff like veg, you can move from blending, to mash with a fork. That makes more of a thick mush than a puree. Then just mash a bit less as time goes on.

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 17:01:14

Mash with a fork OP or a potato masher if it's something like potato - don't whizz.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 17:03:46

<<,never had a blender

BridgetBidet Wed 14-Nov-12 17:06:33

Sorry, what I meant was that 10 year olds weren't BLW and they're not still eating purees because they weren't BLW but put it wrong because my baby woke up and I finished typing too quickly.

Of course introducing finger foods is done at some point, but there is a mindset now of 'You must BLW' and if you give even one puree then 'You're not properly doing BLW'.

Honestly it seems to have become some kind of badge of honour if your 6 month old can eat a chicken leg on the bone but if you say you've given your baby a mashed banana and you actually put it on a SPOON people will look at you like you've just said you give them crack for breakfast.

Kalisi Wed 14-Nov-12 17:10:13

I was all over BLW for my DS. Worked a treat. I don't see how that makes me pretentious or "new age" I wouldn't dream of commenting ( or even notice) on the way others choose to wean, as far as I'm concerned it was easier for me to do it that way, they all have to eat ATEOTD.
OP, gagging is ok, choking is not. Your baby is only 8 months, if you want to go back to purees for a bit noone worthwhile will judge you even stuck up BLWers like me

ElectrifiedTrack Wed 14-Nov-12 17:11:46

YY! At a parent group I went to at my local health centre, a little girl about same age as DS was looking at him being fed watery banana, fascinated. "Ooh she's never seen a spoon, that's why she's so interested" said her mother to me True story!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 14-Nov-12 17:11:58

"Really? Are there many people out there who have no ability to chew?"

Yes... my friend met one. Her DD's new boyfriend, 17yo, was presented with roast pork, potatoes and veg. He mashed the potatoes and veg together but rejected the pork chop on the grounds of 'not being able to cope with anything he had to chew'. Perfectly good set of teeth (for now) and no jaw problems... happily admitted to being a lazy eater. Cue v blush DD and exit one boyfriend.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 14-Nov-12 17:12:03

Just so you know about 15-18 years ago when I first started my job the amount of child protection reports I saw that said things like...

Mother lacks knowledge and insight about appropriate food choices and eating development

This dreadful thing the mums were doing would be called baby led weaning these days.

I'm not saying blw is a bad thing just that attitudes change and I'm sure that these mothers who were educated by hv's etc away from blw to puréed food are unlikely to have hindered there child.

The important thing is the child eats balanced food and grows as he/ she should however you get there.

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 17:12:11

Just wait until you ply them with fruit shoots and sweets to keep them quiet in a long post office queue Bridget!

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 17:14:13

Never seen a spoon. Poor deprived child. Do her parents not have cutlery? Do they eat with their fingers? Shocking tale of deprivation in modern Britain.

Sirzy Wed 14-Nov-12 17:20:28

so do I just do this but make it gradually less blended

Yes, start with it blended, then blend it less, then mash with a masher, squash a bit with a fork and given time he will tolerate more and more.

Keep offering things like rice cakes which are easier for him to chew but disintegrate when in the mouth.

Jingleflobba Wed 14-Nov-12 18:00:31

It's horrible isn't it? I went through a real fear of DD2 choking because her older sister had a phase of properly choking on food as she ate too quickly. It was scary at the time but I didn't realise how much it had affected me until I started to wean the baby.
She gagged once and that was it, back on the purees until my mostly wonderful MIL sat with me while I gave her some finger food one day to prove to me that she wouldn't choke. We're pretty much back on track now at nearly 9 months but it was a scary few weeks!

crazyhatlady Wed 14-Nov-12 18:08:50

Yanbu. My ds had severe reflux/gagged really easily. Even the tiniest lump would cause projectile vomiting. He didn't start on 'proper' food until 18 months. He's 4 now and eats anything and everything. don't worry about delaying, won't do any harm.

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 18:33:13

You know what BLW is? It's an excuse to take your child out in public and let it hurl food all over the place! "Ooh, I'm sorry about the mess, we're BLW"! Ok of you're going to clean up behind yourself, otherwise a total PITA!

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 19:23:00

Ah yes, and to prove my earlier point, a post to show that judging of BLW happens just like that of not BLW. Just another reason to do what suits you and your family.

Kalisi Wed 14-Nov-12 19:39:07

^^what youllscream said.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 19:41:00

kalis i dont think anybody said BLW was pretentious or 'new age' people have been joking about about this new fangled BLW but I really dont think many were serious

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 19:42:17

mrsjay - I think she was talking about my response to Feckoff's post re mess.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 19:42:32

oopsie well I did say not everybody was saying it was pretentious blush

yeah, I had two chokers/gaggers, honestly they were able to choke on just about anything including purees and soup. I just mashed everything with a fork or chopped it small enough that it made it hard for them to choke on it. Picking up one pea or cheerio at a time is excellent for practising that pincer grasp and mine were happy to have a combo of me feeding them with a spoon while they tried to pick things up. When they were little and couldn't pick small things up they liked to suck on a fist of mashed banana.

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 19:43:20

Hee hee.

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Wed 14-Nov-12 19:43:56

Sorry, that was to Mrsjay. Not laughing at your choking babies BigBird blush

whatsforyou Wed 14-Nov-12 19:50:35

A lot of BLW bashing going on here and this isn't even a thread about it confused
Just to add my tuppence worth, I BLW and loved it, no way could I be arsed pureeing and the jars gave me the boak.
My DN was 'traditionally' weaned which mean puree and finger foods from six months.
Both are happy healthy little boys grin
Suggesting finger food is not pushing BLW, it is following NHS guidelines and I have seen many 1 1/2 -2 1/2 year olds who still will only eat mush as they weren't offered finger foods.
But back to the OP, poor you - I had lots of gagging but no choking thank goodness, and I do think I would have been very wary about offering 'choky' foods for a while smile
Oh and Feckoff I always take a mat for the floor and plenty wipes to clean up whenever we are out so no mess or smugness from this BLWer--but have often had to spend ages cleaning soup, petit filou or other puree type food off a highchair before using it-- [grin[

whatsforyou Wed 14-Nov-12 19:51:35

Whoops! Messed up with the smileys and scoring a bit blush

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 20:06:17

Sorry, that was to Mrsjay.

I posted and didnt read on oo didnt i get a red face grin I have nothing against any kind of weaning I do have a problem when parents follow something so rigidly that if it goes a but pearshaped then the parent is upset, IYSWIM

FuckingWonderwoman Wed 14-Nov-12 20:27:38

DD1 had a friend who, at 11, would not eat food with lumps in it. Because she had never chewed, she needed speech therapy and her speech, three years later, still isn't clear.

That's 11 years, not 11 months.

ElectrifiedTrack Wed 14-Nov-12 20:54:49

Oh way to freak me out Wonderwoman! (and Cogito upthread)

Thing is DS has had fingerfoods, and you'd think he'd be getting the hang of chewing, but no. He can bite off bits of anything a bit firm with his three teeth, but barely ever seems to be properly chewing, just a bit of a swizz in the mouth then big gulp and sort of wince as he tries to swallow the too-big thing. That's clearly what happened last week. I need him to learn how to chew, though, obviously, and worried my reluctance to push on with finger foods will cause him problems.

Do think I'm going to go with the gradually lumpier feeding for now though. Posters who have said they had choky DCs, when and how did you eventually get them onto proper fingerfoods?

midseasonsale Wed 14-Nov-12 22:14:19

can you use a cheese slicer or potato peeler to create extra thin slices? Or get your mitts on the cheese grater.

I did purees with my eldest and it was cleaner but more hassle generally. The other two boys we did BLW and it was brill despite the mess. We could all eat meals at the same time.

ihavenofuckingclue Thu 15-Nov-12 07:37:41

Sorry YOU said that ihave

Actually valium I didn't. I am talking extreme cases ( this is a problem with my 8 year old niece) where lumps are introduced at all leading to severe anxiety issues when the child is older.

I didn't say any child fed on purees will not be able to eat lumps. I didn't blw. I kind of did a bit of everything.

The OP is , quite rightly, terrified. But she needs a plan on how to overcome it. What if her fear doesn't go and she is still feeding her child purees at 4?

Of course at some point she has to allow her child lumpy food.

Lueji Thu 15-Nov-12 07:44:08

There is a middle ground.
It doesn't have to be purees or finger foods.

Veg stalk are probably not the best, but bits of cooked carrot, etc should not be a problem.
You should be able to give rice and small pasta and slowly build up.

ihavenofuckingclue Thu 15-Nov-12 07:49:43

Op, just take it slowly. It can take a while for them to learn.

I am sure your child will not turn out to having any eating issues, as you seem to want to tackle it. My sil didn't. She was so scared it became a real anxiety issue.

crazyhatlady Thu 15-Nov-12 07:59:23

Pureed food causes speech delay!! That's funny coz my ds was talking in sentences before he was able to eat 'proper' food. Really wish people wouldn't post on topics they have no experience/knowledge of.

Lesbeadiva Thu 15-Nov-12 08:08:58

Crazyhatlady, it's not purée food that causes speech delay, it's the lack of chewing that does. Google it. Children can't eat "real" food until they have teeth obviously but it is the chewing action that helps speech. My dd was too talking in sentences before she had all her teeth, so wasn't quite tucking into a steak. We are talking the presence of lumps in food that need broken down, not the ability to chew down a raw carrotsmile

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 08:18:49

My ds was too crazy

I can't really remember a time when he didn't talk, it was so early. Very wearing at times wink

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 08:19:46

Children have hard gums to chew, it's not the teeth they need to eat proper food (according to dentist I used to work for)

crazyhatlady Thu 15-Nov-12 08:26:20

Well if it says so on Google diva it must be true! Like I say my ds was talking months before he could chew without vomiting. Lots of his peers who were eating adult food at a young age had speech delay so there goes that theory.

Mrsjay Thu 15-Nov-12 09:26:55

puree causes speech delay really REALLY shock no I think some people need to stop googiling information cos it isn't always right,
DD started saying words at 10 months all her little friends who were fed puree spoke fine speech delay is caused by all sorts of things but define speech delay

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