to think it's weird that a parent hangs about my child's nursery all the time?

(139 Posts)
Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:49:04

I should start by saying I know I'm paranoid. I just don't know if I'm being completely paranoid this time!

Regularly when I pick up my baby there is this one father sitting around in the baby room at the nursery chatting to the girls who work there. He's a parent of one of the older babies so he's got a right to be there. I just don't get why he's there all the time! I pick my DS up at different times of the day as I work from home so it's definitely not just a one off. And why does he hang around like it's his sitting room or a coffee shop?

My issues are 1) the girls spend all their time bantering with him when I feel they should be focussing on the babies and 2) I just find it a bit weird that he's around my child so often and not a carer. I mean, I'm tempted to ask if they've blimming CRB checked him.

Tee2072 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:52:46

I agree, that's odd. I'd speak to the management of the nursery.

quoteunquote Tue 13-Nov-12 10:54:36

Does his child have any special health needs that means he has to be there?

My friends have a toddler with diabetes and have to be at school most of the time to do tests and give medication.

ENormaSnob Tue 13-Nov-12 10:55:07

Yep I think it's weird too.

Tweasels Tue 13-Nov-12 10:55:16

Is he not just coincidentally picking his child up at the same time as you?

Could he be an ex-employee?

Could one of the staff be his DP or a relative?

If you're concerned that the staff aren't looking after the babies properly you should talk to the manager.

WitchesTit Tue 13-Nov-12 10:55:24

Ask the staff who he is? Then explain the situation, that you think he is distracting the staff, to the manager.

In reality though, he might just have a clingy child who feels better if he is close by.

nokidshere Tue 13-Nov-12 10:55:27

Why don't you ask?

I would grin! I would say "blimey are you here again, they will have to start paying you soon" and see what the response is.

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 10:56:02

Would you think it weird if it were the mother?

squeakytoy Tue 13-Nov-12 10:58:34

for starters a CRB means absolutely bugger all.. and I wonder if you would even think of saying that if it were a woman hanging around chatting to the other girls..

Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 11:06:29

SoupDragon and Squeakytoy I've no idea how I'd feel in another situation. Asking opinions on this one.

Actually, I'd think it was just as weird if it were the mother since I for one am in and out as quick as possible BUT I don't think the girls would be as distracted by a mother as they seem to be by the father so maybe I wouldn't be as annoyed. Hard to say.

WitchesTit I hadn't thought of it being something like that but the advice is usually that it's unhelpful for parents to hang around if the child is clingy / struggling to settle in so I dont know.

This is helping me to process my thoughts though and I think the thing that bothers me most is that I don't really want an adult I haven't been introduced to and hasn't gone through the nursery checks hanging around my child for long periods of time so I'm going to mention it I think.

BornSour Tue 13-Nov-12 11:15:08

If you're concerned that the staff are not watching the babies then talk to the nursery manager.

To be honest though, the fact that you are uncomfortable and are thinking of CRB checks says to me that you're worried just becasue he's a man.

So, maybe you just pick your children up at the same time. Maybe he's had a few children through the nursery so he knows the staff. Maybe he's just friendly and outgoing and likes to have a chat before he heads off. So many maybes eh?

fluffyraggies Tue 13-Nov-12 11:23:57

Be it a man or a woman, if there was someone hanging about my DCs nursery distracting the staff i would be a bit hmm about it too.

Ask the manager OP. If he's not meant to be there for any good reason, ie staying with his child, and he's distracting staff, then someone in charge should be inforrmed.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 13-Nov-12 11:28:30

Are you sure he's not there as a parent helper? He might be a volunteer and if so would have been CRB checked.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 11:29:07

Because he is a pervert, clearly hmm

Constant paedophile witchhunt stories on here ATM

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 11:32:47

Fanjo there is a horrible culture on MN where people are NEVER allowed to express discomfort regarding their DC and adults they do not know as people like you come on and stamp on them.

What you are doing there is as bad as any "witch hunt" and it's a horrid attitude to take. People who need advice may be put off asking in future.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 11:33:39

oh well, that's me told eh.

I stand by what I said, it is massively overreacting to object to a father being at nursery when his baby is there and he is entitled to be there.

threesocksmorgan Tue 13-Nov-12 11:35:08

I would ask, in a "who is he " way. pretending I thought he worked there.
I am just nosy though

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 11:36:02

People should be able to express their discomfort though. That's what makes a parent a parent...having instincts. they're not always right...but that doesn't mean they should not come on here to discuss them and then get eye rolled at.

SugarplumMary Tue 13-Nov-12 11:36:56

He could be a parent helper?

One thing that meant I didn't start DS and DD2 at a preschool eldest went to was partly a boy friend of the manager daughter who worked there was in and out and hanging round at the time. Actually between the short gap between my two DC there the boy friend was changed but the behaviour didn't.

The was nothing wrong with either bloke - but I thought it bad practise and the other staff were so used to them being round they’d think nothing of them being round or being left unsupervised.

Best bet – ask someone at your DC nursury see what they say.

fluffyraggies Tue 13-Nov-12 11:37:20

It's not over reacting to be worried about the staff being distracted by someone though.

The 'father' 'with his baby' and 'being entitled' is just MN additions at the mo.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 11:38:13

They can discuss away, they will get a lot of people agreeing that it is shocking and appalling that an actual MAN will be present in a nursery where his child is so I'm sure me finding the concern somewhat ridiculous won't prevent people from posting.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 11:39:22

Staff being distracted, is more of a fair point.

Although the man could have just been there for 5-10 minutes for all the OP knows!

But there are so many threads on here at the moment with people crying paedophile at the drop of a hat, it's depressing.

YouOldSlag Tue 13-Nov-12 11:42:03

I would mention it to the manager simply because if the staff are talking to him, they are not watching the children.

Anything else is conjecture.

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 11:42:08

Fanjo Im sure people would be concerned if it were a woman hanging round there if she was not employed by the nursery.

Don't worry too much about men. They've been looking after themselves very well for the last few thousand years.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 11:44:07

People would be concerned about a woman "hanging around there" and chatting to staff for a bit after drop off?

I suspect not so much, and if they were then they need to find something better to do tbh.

fluffyraggies Tue 13-Nov-12 11:46:31

If the staff are being easily distracted than that is a worry actually.

They should be profesional enough not to be distracted. Weather or not he has a reason to be there. You need your wits about you at all times where little ones are concerned.

Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 11:55:34

Fanjo First off, don't assume, actually I do know he's not just been there for 5 - 10 minutes. I tried to make it clear in my original post that I had noticed it was unusual behaviour and not just at pick up and drop off. There are lots of people (probably equal split men and women for what it's worth) picking up and dropping off all the time so I've noticed the difference.

Also, I do not think he's a paedophile. He is there as a parent with his child. I shouldn't have mentioned the CRB bit at all but I do think it's irritating that I'm paying the girls (who have been vetted) to look after my child, not some stranger (male or otherwise) who hasn't and if they're going to allow strangers to be in the nursery all the time, they should be there fully vetted and doing a job. Not socialising.

The difference between the picking up / dropping off you keep harping on about, is that he's there all the time and he's hanging around for ages and there's a lot of flirting and bantering going on and I think it's inappropriate when the girls are supposed to be concentrating on looking after the children. They are all quite young girls and they're very, very, distracted by him. He's clearly loving all the attention just focussed on him and I think it's weird that he, and they, don't realise it's just not the time or the place.

hedwig2001 Tue 13-Nov-12 11:57:33

I used to work shifts starting at 12.30, so needed my DS in nursery by about 11.30.
The nursery insisted all children attending the morning session, were in by 09.30.
I quite often stayed awhile to play with DS.

socharlotte Tue 13-Nov-12 11:57:48

I think he's more interested in the girls working there than the kids! is he a WAHD enjoying a bit of young female attention!

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 11:57:49

Why are you asking AIBU then?

Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 12:02:55

socharlotte He is definitely more interested in the girls working there!

Fanjo I guess what I should have asked is if it would be unreasonable of me to be annoyed enough to complain about it. But talking about is has made me even more annoyed so unreasonable or not, I will do!

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 12:03:47

glad you have your answer then grin

irishchic Tue 13-Nov-12 12:08:39

OP let us know what the outcome of this is. I would be a bit uneasy with it too.

MrsMelons Tue 13-Nov-12 12:08:39

I don't think it is fair if he is just hanging around without being a parent helper. I know the ladies who work at the pre-school I used to run used to find it frustrating and would tell parents they were unable to hang around unless they were helping on the parent rota. It is distracting for the children also.

I did not realise any nurseries allowed parents to stay and play with their children for a while unless they were helping them to settle in on their first few weeks or were officially helping for the session (in which case they should be helping not stading around chatting).

The trouble is, like a few people have mentioned, you don't actually know for sure why he is there so I think you should discuss it with the manager and find out. You have a right to know who is working with your child if that is the case.

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 12:18:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 12:25:06

I've no idea how I'd feel in another situation. Asking opinions on this one.

It is relevant to ask whether you'd be just as uncomfortable had it m=been a mother as it makes you examine exactly what you are feeling uncomfortable about.

I don't think the girls would be as distracted by a mother as they seem to be by the father

Why? Is it because the "girls" need to simper and fawn over the big strong man?

TBH, it seems that you are specifically uncomfortable because he is male. You talk about CRB checks and it being weird when talking about a father but just about the distracted staff with a mother. For this reason, I think you are being unreasonable. By all means mention the distracted staff to the manager but anything else is rather OTT IMO.

LucieMay Tue 13-Nov-12 12:52:36

Clearly a paedophile! Leave the bastard!

Floggingmolly Tue 13-Nov-12 13:39:06

I woudn't be happy about this at all. To the poster who said maybe he has a clingy child who he has to stay around for confused
If he has so much free time he hardly needs to use the nursery at all. Most people use nurseries because they have to be somewhere else.

fromparistoberlin Tue 13-Nov-12 14:12:07

Fanjo

I agree with others, its not fair to stamp on people who have a reasonable concern

I would also be miffed if it were a woman

I have not seen these 1000s of threads

but have read 2 on relationships (not all about men) that fair freaked me out

Jesus, if only someon e had spoken about Jimmy bastard Saville

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 14:23:05

fromparistoberlin

I hate all the sneering, "calm down dear", intellectual posturing that suggests that paedo-hating is a lower-class, tabloid preoccupation. It's that sort of attitude which aided the many, many cover-ups of the past and which still keeps people in their place when it comes to speaking up about things they are not comfy with,

I am not for one moment suggesting the man IS a Paedophile....but I DO think MN is guilty of the "calm down dear" intellectual posturing which I describe.

fatcuntroller Tue 13-Nov-12 14:34:47

I don't think you need to complain as such, but I'd ask the staff who he is and if he's got a particular reason to be there.

I have a female friend who hangs around for ages at pick up and drop off times. I've deduced that its just because she doesn'thave anything better to do and likes a chat!

fromparistoberlin Tue 13-Nov-12 14:38:48

mrs

I agree

I really dislike how it gets treated on here, spot on

Everlong Tue 13-Nov-12 14:39:22

It's got sod all to do with whether he's a pervert or not but more to do with him distracting the staff.

It's unprofessional imo for the staff to have him there chatting for longer than necessary.

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 14:45:24

That's the nub of it Everlong the OP never said he was a perve.

Everlong Tue 13-Nov-12 14:48:09

I know.

Smellslikecatspee Tue 13-Nov-12 15:03:39

Why don’t you take the children out of the question?

Look at it this way, you are paying this company to provide a service, you feel that this person is preventing them from giving their full attention to their job.

However you are still paying full amount for service that you believe is less than you expected.

Are you still annoyed?

If so go complain.

the situation being about a nursery and a male muddies the waters, I read the OP as being annoyed that he is distracting the carers rather than casting claims.

Now as said it maybe that he needs to be there due to a medical condition that the nursery cannot deal with. Or is desperate for adult company any adult company but has been frozen out by mother & baby groups etc. or an of a million other benign reasons.

BUT as the person paying for a service of any type you do have a right to question this.

I’d be annoyed if my window washer charged me for an hours work and I found out that 30 minutes of that was spent chatting to my neighbour.

If you ask and they come back to you and say I can’t discuss why this parent is staying due to confidentiality and they are otherwise on the ball with their CRBs H&S , Id assume that there is a medical reason and be fine. If they fluster I would then question Insurance, CRB status etc.

Frontpaw Tue 13-Nov-12 15:28:00

Maybr he's chatting up a member of staff? Is he a SAHD? Perhaps he just can't leave his little one?

Frontpaw Tue 13-Nov-12 15:30:02

Maybr he's chatting up a member of staff? Is he a SAHD? Perhaps he just can't leave his little one?

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 15:39:41

"Fanjo

I agree with others, its not fair to stamp on people who have a reasonable concern"

Yes, I stamped on her and said she wasn't allowed to speak.

Err no, I answered an AIBU with YABU

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 15:43:32

Of course I was just intellectual posturing, that's what I do.

Or maybe just having a different opinion

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 15:44:10

or..was I condoning Jimmy Saville as well? hmm

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 15:45:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 16:28:36

I hate all the sneering, "calm down dear", intellectual posturing that suggests that paedo-hating is a lower-class, tabloid preoccupation

And I hate all the hand wringing speculation that goes on on MN suggesting that men are not to be trusted around children. It happens all the time.

StuntGirl Tue 13-Nov-12 16:29:38

Yanbu to question how staff spend their time when they're meant to be looking after your child.

Yabvu to think him being a man,
needing crb checks or any other rubbish bears any relevance.

Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 16:38:24

Raspberry Ummm, from spying...

I work full time and tend to pick DC up when it suits me at very random times and I noticed that every time I arrived he was settled in to the sofa in the baby room as if he'd been there a while and was still there when I left (granted only a few minutes later).

As I live opposite and it was irritating me I kept an eye out for him leaving after I got home on a couple of occasions and he was there for ages. I mean not all day but an hour or so.

*Stuntgirl" I never said him being a man had any relevance. Gawd! Read the post and stop putting words in my mouth.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 13-Nov-12 16:48:51

Perhaps he is a SAHD who suffers terrible loneliness because everyone looks at him then sprints away screaming AAAAAAA PEEDO PEEDO PEEDO. Perhaps these nursery workers are the only exception.

How cruel of you, OP, to be irritated by the poor lonely SAHD.

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 17:09:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StaceeJaxx Tue 13-Nov-12 17:17:47

I can understand your concern but he probably just has a clingy child, or maybe he fancies one of the girls working there. wink

When my dd1 started school nursery DH had to stay with her for the full 2.5 hour session everyday, for around 3 months. She was so clingy, she would scream, throw herself on the floor and start to headbang if he went to leave. It was either him stay for the full session with her, or she didn't go to nursery. It was highly unusual and I know some of the other mothers had a problem with it. But TBH they're also the same ones who now she's 9 still have a problem with her and me. hmm We now know it's because she's autistic, but back then we didn't. It was a really stressful time, and DH how upset she became so him staying was the lesser of 2 evils.

TiggyD Tue 13-Nov-12 17:21:33

He might be a perve. I don't mean a child related perve though. At one of my nurseries there was a chap who did like to hang round with the amply boobed teenage and early 20s lady staff in the nursery. They always had difficulty getting him to leave, but were always eager to get rim of him.

Kethryveris Tue 13-Nov-12 17:27:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody Tue 13-Nov-12 17:32:30

Why don't you ask him in a jokey way if he's moved in?

If you worried about the care if your baby tell the manager.

stinkinseamonkey Tue 13-Nov-12 17:34:32

I would assume he was a parent volunteer and think nothing of it, or that his child had needs that required him to be there

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 17:35:09

Fanjo what are you on about? Through only person who's mentioned 'paedos' is you.

Op I would ask - I wouldnt like it if it was a mother or a father - it just sounds unprofessional of the nursery to me.

TiggyD Tue 13-Nov-12 17:35:16

He might be a great laugh and really nice to know. Or a relative. Or a nursery worker himself.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 17:37:15

Ticktock, yes, noone at all was implying it hmm

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 17:42:11

It's becoming a bit of an mn perennial this - someone mentions safeguarding in a non hysterical way and then people pile in screeching 'peado hunter' and getting all bolshy and het up about it. I see more hysteria from through peado hunter hunters then from anyone else.

Kethryveris Tue 13-Nov-12 17:43:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 17:47:08

Ticktock, the opposite of what I have seen then. How intriguing

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 17:55:00

Exactly ticktock do you know what I think? I reckon...early on in MN there was probably a few perve-fear threads and then some reasonable and well respected posters will have told people that they shouldn't be afraid of ALL men.

This led to the "fashion" for denouncing any woman on here who dares to have any suspicion about ANY strange man.

Which is causing an imbalance.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 17:57:57

What a load of bollocks

McChristmasPants2012 Tue 13-Nov-12 18:01:16

i wouldn't find it weird at all, I really don't see the problem.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Tue 13-Nov-12 18:04:56

Have I wandered into an alternative universe?

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Tue 13-Nov-12 18:07:25

I mean, as the thread goes on the op is appearing more and more reasonable (at least her posts are becoming more reasoned).

It's the other posters who are becoming unreasonable, which is the wrong way around.

There must be a happy medium between "I don't want any stranger in the same building as my child" and "I don't mind if random people spend the entire day chatting to my child's carers, so they aren't actually looking after my child".

Won't someone think of the children?

[sigh]

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 18:10:22

" constantl paedophile witchhunts on here atm" is complete hyperbole. Definitely not intellectual posturing!

catgirl1976 Tue 13-Nov-12 18:16:29

Is there a limit to how much time people can spend at thier childs nursery talking to the staff?

I haven't had that memo. I need to make sure I am not going over the quota.

He could just be talking about his child.

WilsonFrickett Tue 13-Nov-12 18:27:00

I know when my child was going through his dx I spent a lot of time at nursery, as they were phenomenally supportive. And yes, probably sometimes they should have told me to sling it, but they didn't, they wanted to hear about appointments and assessments and pass me a tissue when it all got too much. There could be anything going on in this parents life and the staff may simply be supporting him. Or he's the only SAHD in town and its all got a bit giggly and silly.

"Won't someone think of the children?" actually in this case is right!

It doesn't matter if it's a man, a woman or a penguin, from the OP's experience the staff appear to be distracted, so potentially aren't giving as high a standard of care as they should.

OP you have to ask and update us!

MrsMelons Tue 13-Nov-12 18:31:50

The OP has never suggested he is a paedophile so I think some of the responses are OTT.

Yes there is a limit of time spent talking to nursery staff when they are paid to be in ratio looking after other peoples children. Its down to the staff however to deal with this and ask parents to make appointments or cut the conversations shorter.

If they are chatting to parents they are not looking after the children properly. The manager as my DCs children has often spoken to staff about it and helped them deal with parents effectively to avoid this very issue.

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 18:35:56

ticktock I meant generally...people seem to adore acting above the prole habit of fearing the peadophile and that of hunting them down.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 18:38:09

I actually posted a friendly comment to the OP hours ago and have been at work all day since but certain people are seizing on a comment I made early in thread and harping on about it, so it grows wings..rather silly really, youd have thought I had sat berating the OP all day from some people's comments, rather than making some comments earlier then smiling at the OP.

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 18:38:16

Oh I agree with you mrs can't say! Just laughing at the irony of the execution of it!

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 18:39:31

Anyway off to make dinner so you two feel free to sit making wee snipey comments together like some double act if you wish.

SamSmalaidh Tue 13-Nov-12 18:42:26

I'd find it weird if a parent, male or female, hung around at my DS's nursery for up to an hour at a time monopolising the staff. They should be focussing on the children.

And yes, of course there is a limit to how long parents should stay and chat to the staff! Once a child has settled in, then there is no need for a parent to stay for more than 5-10 minutes at drop off or pick up - staying for ages is disruptive.

wheresmespecs Tue 13-Nov-12 19:03:07

Sorry, but....

If you are a parent helper, do you need a crb check? I know at our local nursery/pre-school group (in Wales, so a welsh language cylch, kids aged 2.5 to 5) a parent volunteer does not need a crb check. As long as they do not take a child to toilet on their own and the actual staff are qualified.... no crb needed.

I don't like that but it is legal.

SamSmalaidh Tue 13-Nov-12 19:07:34

No, you only need to be CRB checked if you are unsupervised. Many nurseries employ staff before their CRB comes through and just makes sure they are supervised.

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 19:41:57

I don't think many people have a problem with a parent helper...the OP complained that this man seems to be just sitting around and having a laugh when she goes....tbh OP the main issue is with the staff here...they're allowing a parent to sit about and distract them when they are meant to be with the babies.

Go in and speak to the manager about it.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Tue 13-Nov-12 19:47:47

Sorry, fanjo, I wasn't sniping at you, honest. I hate seeing people suspicious of men because they are men, that pisses me off too.

But I just find it interesting how aibu polarises people in a way that the other boards don't. In this case, I certainly don't think he is any sort of a paedo hmm, but I also am not sure I would be too happy if a parent (any parent) talked to carers for hours at a time (if it is hours), as that is time that they should be spending interacting with the children.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 20:09:21

Thanks Mary.

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 11:42:32

"If you are a parent helper, do you need a crb check? "

no, at DSs nursery parents and college kids doing work experience didn't need one but they weren't allowed to do nappies/tioleting or settling in the nap room, they just sat with the staff and helped with stories and outside games

cory Wed 14-Nov-12 12:43:46

The OP did not just worry about him distracting the carers; in her first post, she also said "I just find it a bit weird that he's around my child so often and not a carer. I mean, I'm tempted to ask if they've blimming CRB checked him."

Thereby indicating that she did have concerns which were not just about the distraction aspect. If other posters have chosen to respond to that and not to the first half, I don't see why they shouldn't.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:06:35

I actually addressed the distraction issue as well and said that was a fair point.

I am glad someone else has mentioned that the OP said that instead of people just telling me I was making things up out of thin air.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:07:45

am going to wish had just let this thread die now though

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:11:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:12:13

stop it you minx grin

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:18:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:20:54

<sits on Raspberry>

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:23:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD Wed 14-Nov-12 16:24:06
Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:25:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:26:38

oh no, I've been outed!

Err no, I WISH that was my arse

TiggyD Wed 14-Nov-12 16:27:12
FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:27:57

stop sticking your tongue out at my fanjo raspberry you filthy beast shock

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:28:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:29:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:30:13

That's not the primmest thing I have ever heard winkgrin

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 16:36:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:38:27

i suspect maybe the thread is beyond help

ClareMarriott Wed 14-Nov-12 18:44:03

Fanjo and Raspberry

I hope you are satisfied that you seem to have hijacked this thread and distracted people from what Christmas was posting about. I appreciate that you have your opinions but a little kindness and understanding of her situation would'nt go amiss . As has been said upthread, I would speak to the people at the nursery and just check with them who this guy is as it may be perfectly harmless.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 19:03:49

I said more than 24 hours ago that I was glad the OP had made her decision to contact nursery and it seemed resolved so you can stop the passive aggressive shit stirring now.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 19:07:54

Me to OP

"FanjoForTheMammariesTue 13-Nov-12 12:03:47

glad you have your answer then grin"

MrsCantSayAnything Wed 14-Nov-12 19:18:22

And THAT wasn't sarcastic was it?

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 19:19:28

Actually it wasn't. Sorry to disappoint

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 19:20:43

Dont generally grin when being sarky, prefer to hmm

Raspberrysorbet Wed 14-Nov-12 19:22:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClareMarriott Thu 15-Nov-12 18:29:09

Fanjo and Raspberry

I'm sorry if either of you thought I was being passive agressive or patronising but after reading all the various threads I noticed that from 14th Nov 16.12 there were 12 threads between you too that had nothing to do with what the OP had been talking about and various posters commenting on . I just felt rather sad that you felt you could both hijack the thread in that way.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 18:34:30

The OP had not posted on the thread for 24 hours

Raspberrysorbet Thu 15-Nov-12 18:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 18:44:24

this will probably unleash another session of fanjo kicking

Raspberrysorbet Thu 15-Nov-12 18:52:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 18:55:28

yes, please don't stare at my fanjo winkgrin

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 18:55:40

oops. my bad. The poor OP

Raspberrysorbet Thu 15-Nov-12 18:58:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves Thu 15-Nov-12 19:01:59

Fanjo and Raspberry

I want to see you in my office at 9.20 sharp. I hope you are thoroughly ashamed of your behaviour.

Mrs Marriott

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 19:03:51

<hangs head in shame> <flips bird when Claire is not looking>

Raspberrysorbet Thu 15-Nov-12 19:07:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 19:08:19

<farts>

Greensleeves Thu 15-Nov-12 19:08:40

Fanjo and Raspberry

I am not angry, just sad.

Mrs Marriott

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 19:09:33

tell someone who cares <sticks out tongue>

Greensleeves Thu 15-Nov-12 19:11:47

Fanjo

You have let the school down, you have let your parents down, and above all you have let yourself down

And open a window, you horrid girl

<wrinkles nose at fart>

Raspberrysorbet Thu 15-Nov-12 19:12:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 15-Nov-12 19:13:44

but it was fun! grin

TiggyD Thu 15-Nov-12 19:18:27

I need to leave this thread before Raspberry Fanjo corrupts me.

Like us serious minded helpful people said: Probably nothing interesting, but he should distract the staff so much. Talk to the manager.

Mintberry Thu 15-Nov-12 19:20:28

The parent helper idea sounds plausible to me.
Or maybe he's friends with some of the staff, so when he goes to pick his kid up, he lurks around a bit talking to them?
Maybe he's a single dad and he fancies one of them. wink
It's probably nothing to worry about, but I understand why you'd be protective.
Maybe discretely ask one of the people who work there who he is, just to be sure? I'm sure they'd understand, you're just playing it safe.

pigletpower Fri 16-Nov-12 00:14:54

Hey Cortana! Nursery staff not doing their job again.Lot of it about it seems

Whodyanickabollockoff Fri 16-Nov-12 10:15:19

egg his car (ask the questions later)

Whodyanickabollockoff Fri 16-Nov-12 10:30:01

*only joking sorry

Aboutlastnight Fri 16-Nov-12 12:37:17

Op, why not pop in to the office or ask at picking up time who the man is?

Just say, ' do you have someone new working here? Or is that a parent helper?'

I would save egging his car for when the nursery confirms he is a paedophile who likes to pop in for a chat wink

MonthlyName Fri 16-Nov-12 12:42:12

I had a friend (female) who stayed at nursery to help. Because she couldn't leave her son, even though her son was fine without her there, she just didn't want him to be independant. Would it be the same if the op person had been female? Or guessing all the parents throught my friend was wierd too

stinkinseamonkey Fri 16-Nov-12 14:50:21

There were parents at DSs nursery too who were ALWAYS there when I dropped off DS and were still there when I left, then at pick up they were there when I arrived and still there when I was taking DS out the door

they were complaining.. every day.. about EVERYTHING! they totally monopolised the staff.

It was usually the father as the mother did longer hours at work

It was actually really really annoying for the rest of us who never got to have a quick chat with the key workers because they were always whinging about sandwich fillings or a bit of paint on a sleeve! Was same at parent's events!

Wasn't anything sinster though, just super super annoying! angry

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