about my husband's snoring?????

(67 Posts)
NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 00:04:27

He won't stop fucking snoring! I have moved him, told him to stop (I know this doesn't work, but neither does anything else) , shaken him, woken him. I've ran out of options so now I have moved to sleep in the spare room...I haven't told him and I have left the monitor with him!

What I would like to do is stab him in the throat, AIBU?!

StuntGirl Mon 12-Nov-12 00:06:03

Sleep deprivation is horrible sad Does he always snore? Has he tried anything to help it?

Maybe a bit...but my DH is currently sleeping and SBDing every few minutes so I also want to get stabby! It's disgusting! <barfffff>

ChippingInLovesAutumn Mon 12-Nov-12 00:08:15

I know it's bloody annoying, but it's not as though he can help it is he?

Will he wake if the baby needs someone? If not, I'd go back & get the monitor.

What 'anti snoring' things has he tried?
Does he only snore on his back?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 12-Nov-12 00:10:41

I think if you have tried other options, a trip to the GP might be in order.

Crikeyblimey Mon 12-Nov-12 00:13:28

My dh is a former snorer, you have my every sympathy.

Stabbing should be allowed under these circumstances but sadly it isn't.

Wake him up and tell him not to go to sleep again until you are asleep.

Dh stopped snoring when he lost loads of weight and got fitter. Not saying your dh is a fat bastard or anything.

Hope he shuts up soon.

Foosyerdoos Mon 12-Nov-12 00:14:28

Yes and no, trying to sleep with a snorer is awful and I feel your pain. However as a snorer myself it is so annoying to be continually berated for something you have no control over. There is not a great deal you can do to stop it and when I asked the Gp about it she did not really take it seriously. Perhaps occasional separate rooms is a good idea, especially when feeling sleeped deprived, but he can't really help snoring.

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 00:16:21

SBDing? What's that?

He doesn't try anything because he says nothing works! He used to snore a lot but did get better but it's worse again now, I haven't had a full nights sleep in over a week-all because of him!

He'll wake to the baby actually she's a toddler we just keep the monitor on out of habit really! the spare room is right next to hers so I'll probably wake too!

He gets so huffy with me when I wake him and tell him to change position-like I'm waking him for fun. It's worse on his back but he's snoring away on his side right now!

Not to drip feed but I'm 13 weeks pregnant too, regardless of this I don't think IABU to want o kill him!

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 00:18:18

He was better when he was regularly going to the gym but he doesn't go as much anymore as he has changed jobs and is busier. I'll have to tell him to start going again!

Nuttyfilly Mon 12-Nov-12 00:22:57

Oh my stabbing so should be aloud! My dp snores really bad to! Some nights I have thought about smothering him with the pillow! I try and leave him snoring on the sofa and dive of to bed before him, if I get to sleep before him it's fine.

iklboo Mon 12-Nov-12 00:26:17

SBDing = Silent But Deadly farts

piprabbit Mon 12-Nov-12 00:33:34

Has he put on a bit of weight since he stopped going to the gym? Apparently being overweight is a major cause of snoring.

squoosh Mon 12-Nov-12 00:41:28

Being fit clearly helps his snoring problem. Tell him he needs to get back into exercise for the good of your marriage. Sharing a bed with a snorer does not encourage marital affection.

WelshMaenad Mon 12-Nov-12 01:27:27

My dad has been a horrific snorer his entire life. He's just, at the age of 63, been diagnosed with sleep apnoea! He now sleeps with a CPAP mask on and it has changed his (well, maybe mostly Mum's!) life.

Def trip to GP!

CaliforniaLeaving Mon 12-Nov-12 01:36:04

Poor poor OP I feel your pain and sleep deprivation. I too sleep with a freight train next to me and he also produces deadly farts.
I remember when DS2 was a new baby I moved his cot in our room as my mother came to visit, I was afraid the farts smelled so bad they might be toxic for the baby I laid awake most of the night worrying that I should take baby and sleep in the living room. Weird hormone brain at work, baby was fine and doesn't appear to have any damage from the toxins.

I feel your pain, mine is snoring & incessantly scratching too angry

I feel your pain, i'm currently 38+3 so sleeping is hard enough with the huge bump and hourly wee trips. Every time I start to drift off I seem to get jolted awake by a huge snore from DH.
I find I sleep better if I fall asleep before him, or if i'm more sleep deprived.

DH knows he's worse on his back but still insists on rolling on to his back angry

lubeybooby Mon 12-Nov-12 02:16:47

Trust me he can't help it. I suffer with the type of snoring that position doesn't really help with, and neither do nose strips and things like that. I can still snore sleeping on my front, or sitting up.

It's a jaw position thing for me apparently, and only the mouth guard type things will help. I'm yet to try them but they do apparently work - £30 in boots.

Don't keep waking him up, there's fuck all he can do.

Anyone who keeps poking me or waking me up over it is lucky not to get kicked out of my house. Grrr.

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 07:48:06

But why haven't you tried the mouth guard then lubey if it does apparently work shouldn't you give it a go? Presuming you have a partner?

I know the snoring isn't his fault, I really do, but oh my god it's so irritating! every time I go to drop off there's a massive snore to wake me up! He gets cross with me for moving him or waking him. Although I understand that must be irritating I do think it's really selfish to have not tried anything to make it better!

Pip I don't particularly think he has put weight on since stopping the gym, but clearly his fitness levels were higher when he was going. I have told him this morning he has to go back to the gym regularly or I'm likely to kill him! and I think if I got a judge with a snoring partner I would be let off instantly!

FobblyWoof Mon 12-Nov-12 08:26:11

We're both snorers in this house and I'm definitely worse blush

DP doesn't mind mine too much because I was so much worse in pregnancy that he just doesn't notice my normal snore now

roguepixie Mon 12-Nov-12 08:29:51


My DH snores. It's awful. As someone up thread said...the sleep deprivation is appalling.

I once, at 3am, after lying in bed listening to him snore for more hours than I cared to remember (wasn't home so couldn't just get up and go downstairs), threatened to kill him if he didn't shut up. I lent over him and hissed into his ear that I would end his life if he didn't stop bloody snoring. He snorted and went quiet so, maybe, on some level, hew heard me and knew his life was in danger gringringrin.

Icanhasnickname Mon 12-Nov-12 08:56:29

Just want to second the weight loss advice: I starved dieted my husband untill his stopped. Now however, I am pregnant and have started snoring myself....and my husband insists on being a saint and ignoring it, only to moan in the morning. I tell him to wake me but he wont. And I know its bad because I've woken myself up with it!

bitsofmeworkjustfine Mon 12-Nov-12 09:00:08

oh yes, i understand anyone who is at thier wits end through snoring, because I am too.

I recently text my husband saying... You HAVE to do something about the snoring.

I got a message back... DIVORCE?

we now have a deal... if he's keeping me awake, i keep him awake.
I know ther is something that he can do, because he hasnt deen his gp, there are spays that have worked in the past but he doesnt use them, so he CAN help it becuase he isnt helping himself

LtEveDallas Mon 12-Nov-12 09:06:38

Seperate beds?

DH now sleeps in the spare - I couldn't cope with the constant snoring and refusal to go to the doctors/stop drinking/wear strips etc.

We are actually getting on much better since he moved out, because I'm not spending all day wishing him dead!

I actually dread it for days when we've got people staying, because he has to move back in. Last weekend I sent him to DD's bed, and moved her in with me because after just two nights I could have stabbed him.

Living with a snorer is shite, you have my sympathies.

SecretCervix Mon 12-Nov-12 09:11:20

Wanted to kill my dp last night when he was in out of the living room to go to the toilet with a kettleful of boiling water, third time and I wrenched the bedroom door open and told him I didn't give a shiny shit if he had blocked the toilet, if he came out of that room one more time and the reason was not to come to bed, I would kick him in the nuts. blush

Disclaimer, I am also 14 weeks pregnant. (So irrationally angry most days at the moment!)

lovelyladuree Mon 12-Nov-12 09:51:32

Found out by accident that Olbas Oil on his pillow stops my DP snoring. Trouble is, whole house stinks of it now. But we do sleep well.

fuzzpig Mon 12-Nov-12 10:01:15

He needs to go to the doctor. If it's sleep apnoea it needs sorting - does he realise it can kill? You stop breathing in the night, several times, it is really serious. This could be quite likely as you say it got better when he was fitter.

My dad has a CPAP too, it's not nice but y'know, it keeps him alive.

I snore as well (and was really worried I had SA) but my doctor just looked up my nose and gave me a steroid spray called nasonex I have polyps apparently <euww>. It worked within days and now I only snore badly when I have a cold.

Please bug him about this - it is a real bugbear of mine that people just see snoring as one of those annoying things men do, but it really can be the sign of a possibly fatal disorder, and it needs to be checked.

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 12:03:28

What's a CPAP? I will tell him about sleep apnoea but it's very unlikely he will go to the dr I think, I'll do my best!

Thankyou for all your advice. I have spoken to him about it this morning and he says he will start going to the gym again and get some of those nose strip things.

fuzzpig Mon 12-Nov-12 12:30:41

TBH I wouldn't bother with all those nose strips etc, if the snoring is severe it probably won't work!

Would he really not go if you told him sleep apnoea could be fatal?! sad

CPAP is continuous positive airway pressure. It's a machine you switch on at night and wear a mask, basically it uses pressure to keep your airways open, where the sleep apnoea causes it to close. It makes a quiet sound all night, but much better than snoring. It might be best not to mention the machine thing, if he's reluctant to go the doctor anyway it might put him off!

But equally it really could be something as simple as a prescription nose spray.

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 12:34:20

I'll talk to him fuzz I promise, I think he'll think
I'm over reacting though!

How do they diagnose sleep apnoea? He's a little younger than the average sufferer (I googled!) as he's 31.

Haylebop12 Mon 12-Nov-12 12:37:16

My dh's snoring makes me want to rip my own ears off.

fuzzpig Mon 12-Nov-12 12:43:18

I think my dad had to sleep wearing one of those clips that go on your finger, that measure oxygen? It could've been in a sleep clinic, but I have a feeling he did it at home. The clip was attached to machine that recorded his oxygen levels throughout the night - it showed that his levels were much lower than they should be.

My DH snores awfully and wakes the house up. He went to the doctor. Tried a spray and tablets a few times and gave up.

YANBU to want to kill him. I am thankful he works nights as part of his shifts- I don't get disturbed by him then!

TheSmallPrint Mon 12-Nov-12 12:49:21

Try nasal strips, the have stopped me killing my husband grin

TheSmallPrint Mon 12-Nov-12 12:50:22

CPAP seems a little OTT at this stage? confused

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 12:59:00

I agree TheSmallPrint it seems a bit much. He's promised he'll try and lose weight (he's not that overweight by the way, but yes, he could do with losing a bit!) and he'll get the nose strips. I'll talk to him about going to the dr though!

My DH was offered surgery to try and fix his snoring so CPAP isnt such overkill really.

TheSmallPrint Mon 12-Nov-12 13:08:26

I think I'd rather have a one off surgery than live with CPAP. My mum has this on a nightly basis and it's not pleasant and actually very noisy.

kiwigirl42 Mon 12-Nov-12 14:10:35

We went on holiday in the summer and shared a room with DS 12. I never thought anything of it but when we got home DS said to me 'How do you sleep with Dad snoring like that?'
He grunts and snorts, stops breathing then jerks a great big breath. Drives me nuts. When I've got a bad migraine he sleeps in the spare room as it physically hurts my head too much to tolerate the noise.
He was thin when we met and I used to check that he was not dead sometimes he breathed so quietly. Haven't the heart to tell him to diet though as he is a normal weight now.

squoosh Mon 12-Nov-12 14:14:44

kiwigirl, what you're describing, 'stops breathing then jerks a great big breath' really sounds like it might be sleep apnea. He'd want to get that checked sooner rather than later, dangerous to leave it untreated.

FrankWippery Mon 12-Nov-12 14:15:37

I think stabbing is perhaps a bit messy. Perhaps smothering with a pillow?

FrankWippery Mon 12-Nov-12 14:17:38

Oh, you're never too young for sleep apnoea. My DD3, who's nearly 4 suffers from it and sounds like an overweight truck driver who smokes 60 a day. I can hear her from downstairs at times.

fuzzpig Mon 12-Nov-12 14:22:26

Of course CPAP is overkill if there's no reason for it, but it's relatively simple to test for SA and probably/hopefully rule it out. May as well do that before trying other methods, because if it is SA, those methods will be a waste of money useless.

And yes kiwi the sudden big breath after stopping breathing is quite a bad sign. Worth getting checked out. smile

Everlong Mon 12-Nov-12 14:26:34

You are me. I am you. Exactly.
Every night for nearly 18 years.

Last night we went to bed early I'd been out Friday and Saturday night as we were tired. He woke me up at 1.45 snoring.. I was dreaming there was a drill in the bedroom.. lay there then for an hour before going in spare bed.

It's really getting me down too.

MoreBeta Mon 12-Nov-12 14:26:49

Get him to a GP - sleep apnoea is very bad for the person who suffers from it and their partner. I met a young slim 21 yr old man a few weeks back who described his sleep pattern and it is disrupted every 10 minutes and I told him to get to his GP. He said he feels constantly tired.

It can lead to heart conditions.

fuzzpig Mon 12-Nov-12 14:27:24

I'd definitely have surgery if it helped me sleep better and more safely!

The CPAP is uncomfortable - basically you are sleeping with an oxygen mask strapped to you and the noise sounds a bit like the sea (dad's one does anyway) - but not only does he not snore, he's also found that the quality of sleep is much much better, and he's no longer so exhausted and at risk of falling asleep at the wheel etc.

Totally worth it, if you have SA - obviously I wouldn't advocate just buying one for the sake of it grin

legohouse Mon 12-Nov-12 14:27:54

memory foam earplugs for you,i can't live without them,total silence...bliss

TigerFeet Mon 12-Nov-12 14:37:32

Sounding like a pile driver in the wee small hours seems to run in my family, we're all dreadful. DH also snores.

DH and I no longer sleep in the same room. We still <ahem> have an active sex life but go our separate ways when one of us falls asleep. It hasn't harmed our relationship at all, in fact I'd say it's far better for getting better sleep.

DH also uses ear plugs, I don't as they don't seem to stay in my ears.

I would also suggest going to the doctor, but if weight is an issue (which it is for dh and I) I would think the first line of attack would be to lose the weight.

Everlong Mon 12-Nov-12 14:45:36

Memory foam earplugs?

I have tried some foam ones but they were useless and just fell out.

I can only use wax ones now.

MY DH snores really loudly.

This week thank heavens he is on nights so 5 WHOLE NIGHTS OF SLEEP for me YIPEEE

I bought the mouth guard. Some nights it seems to work brilliantly. Others not at all. DH says he is not overweight when he is weighed at the GP, but he has quite a belly now and makes no attempt to stop eating extra bags of crisps etc. He does have a dicky ticker so says he can't exercise to lose weight, quite how that means he can still eat crap I don't know hmm

I have tried everything bar an oxygen mask!
I can't sleep with earplugs in, I have tried but they make me feel too cut off and if I don't hear the alarm and get up in the morning no one would!

I would move to another room but we don't have one sad
I sympathise with you it is SOOO draining to be permanently knackered!

Rindercella Mon 12-Nov-12 15:06:44

OP, sorry I have reported your thread and I have asked MNHQ if they can change the title. I know I can hide it and I know you don't really mean you want to kill your DH. But I am feeling really crap at the moment about losing my husband and I am sure some other recent widows who may see it would feel equally as hmm

Sorry, I am not usually quite so sensitive, I just had a really bad night last night.

Wrt to snoring, I really do sympathise and perhaps your DH should be checked out for sleep apnoea. Good luck, you must be knackered!

lubeybooby Mon 12-Nov-12 15:13:37

NoTeaForMe Nope I don't have a partner which is why I haven't tried - I will do if I ever have any male in my bed regularly though. I was tempted to get it the other day but can't justify the cost when I sleep alone 95% of the time.

I have at least got as far as finding out what type of snorer I am though, which turns out to be the annoying type that nothing works for apart from the mouth guard things.

lubeybooby Mon 12-Nov-12 15:15:13

Oh and my DD suffers the same - but she is very healthy and fit with a bmi of 22 so it's not always weight related too. Damned bastard thing to sort out it is.

Rinders Sorry for your loss

ladygoldenlion Mon 12-Nov-12 16:03:02

Rinders I am sorry for your loss too but it may be best to hide this thread instead of having it deleted as it is a lighthearted thread.

Cozy9 Mon 12-Nov-12 16:11:09

Buy some lazer lite earplugs from ebay.

CheerMum Mon 12-Nov-12 16:14:40

I have trained my Dh, when he snores I kick him. If he stops then that is okay. But if he keeps snoring then I keep kicking. It took a while but now he dutifully turns over in his sleep and that solves the problem.
He doesn't ever mention the fact that I also snore, he's not that stupid ( double standards I know)

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 16:15:18

I'm really sorry for your loss Rinder , I certainly didn't write the thread title thinking it would upset anyone. It is quite clearly lighthearted and I hope MNHQ can see that.

I can't sleep with earplugs, but also wouldn't hear our toddler if she woke and we're due another baby in May do earplugs wouldn't be practical then either!

Everlong Mon 12-Nov-12 18:09:32

<grabs rinders and hugs her>

Come on mnhq

NoTeaForMe Mon 12-Nov-12 18:16:34

Everlong the thread was just about to slip off the first page and then basically hidden! That's presuming if Rinder hasn't already hidden it away.

Everlong Mon 12-Nov-12 18:20:01

I didn't know that.

It was under threads I'm on so hadn't a clue it was about slip of the page.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 12-Nov-12 19:15:05

Hi there
We have changed the thread for this, trust that's okay by all

Everlong Mon 12-Nov-12 19:21:49

Thank you smile

amg8329 Wed 14-Nov-12 11:18:31

Some things your partner could use to stop that annoying snoring:
- Sleep sideways
- Lose weight
- No alcohol and no tranquilizers
- Allergies influence snoring. Check if there is an allergy, and make them take a antihystaminic before going to bed.
- Use mouth guards (I've read this one before)
- Smoking causes snoring, too, as it damages the respiratory system.
- Keep your bedroom air moist, as dry air affects the airways causing snoring
- Elevating head 4 inches helps, too, as it helps to breath easier
- In times, taking some honey before sleep will help, as it softens throat.

(There were a few things I didn't ever think about before which are very handy to deal with this cursed thing)

I hope these tips provide some relief to your problem. smile

amg8329 Wed 14-Nov-12 11:22:27

Sorry for your loss, Rindercella. sad

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 14-Nov-12 11:45:27

Snoring causes a deeply burning irrational anger that makes me consider whether 10 years to life in prison is a valid option if I could just get some bloody sleep.

So no,YANBU.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 14-Nov-12 11:47:23

Just read whole thread, so sorry for your loss Rindercella. Hope you are doing okay,under the circumstances. sad

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