To resent being told what to wear to a party.

(41 Posts)
Rollergirl1 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:16:52

I realise that all themed parties have an element of this. But we are going to a party soon where it specifically says on the invite "long" evening dress for the ladies. I don't own any long dresses, largely because I am a short arse and I don't really do them justice (also I have great legs and if I'm wearing a dress I generally like to reveal some of them!) I have plenty of perfectly adequate dresses that would do the job in terms of being glamorous and sexy and WOW. But no, it has to be a long dress. This means that I'm going to have to go out and buy a dress specifically for this event that I know I will never wear again.

I can understand that the hosts want to set the tone for the evening. The tone is glitz and glamour. I can pull that off without wearing a long dress and begrudge being told the length of my hem.


I'm lousy at following dress directions. If I were you I'd wear something that suits your build. Far better to look lovely rather than follow dress instructions to the letter.

CuriousMama Fri 09-Nov-12 18:20:12

Is it a forces do?

YANBU to resent it, I wouldn't like it. But you maybe would feel better getting one? It doesn't have to be floor skimming. I got a couple off ebay that look nice enough and weren't expensive. You can probably get the hem done cheap enough?

Or is there anyone you can borrow one off? Charity shops sometimes get nice ones in.

Enfyshedd Fri 09-Nov-12 18:20:26

Have you got a cocktail length (just below the knee, I think) dress?

VolumeOfACone Fri 09-Nov-12 18:22:34

Oh long dresses are hard when you are short. sad
Poor you.

quoteunquote Fri 09-Nov-12 18:22:38

what about one with a long split to show off your legs, lots of formal dresses on ebay cheap as people wear them only once.

SantyClaws Fri 09-Nov-12 18:23:21

is it a ball? Why not rent one?

IMO you might feel a bit daft in a short dress at a ball. YABNU to be a bit pissed off but i think i'd suck it up

littlewhitebag Fri 09-Nov-12 18:25:14

Get one of them ones wot is short at the front and long at the back.

MammaTJ Fri 09-Nov-12 18:27:06

What about long chiffon with short skirt underneath?

StuntGirl Fri 09-Nov-12 18:28:35

Is it a ball or just your mates throwing a party? 'Cause the answer to that dictates whether I'd ignore the instruction or not.

Rollergirl1 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:28:52

It's not a formal event like a ball. It is a family members party, at their house, that they have made in to a formal "red carpet" event. And apparently all the other ladies are wearing one.

As I say I have plenty of dresses that I have worn to weddings and other events that differ in lengths. Just none that are floor-skimming.

NatashaBee Fri 09-Nov-12 18:31:07

It's advising you of the dress code, wouldn't you rather that it was made clear on the invite than you turned up in something inappropriate?

lottiegarbanzo Fri 09-Nov-12 18:33:09

So 'black tie' (long evening dresses) rather than 'lounge suits' (cocktail dresses).

Hmm, some events have that dress code but, given it's a house party I'd say wear what you like and you'll probably be more glamorous than most of them anyway.

Rollergirl1 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:34:07

Natasha: The dress code is "Glitz and glamour". I can do that without wearing a long dress.

ENormaSnob Fri 09-Nov-12 18:35:57

A house party? hmm

They are taking the piss.

lisad123 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:36:20

I wouldn't buy a long dress for it, and just wear a short one. If questioned just say you couldn't find one to fit as your a midget, like me smile

Rollergirl1 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:38:37

ENorma: Yep, I think that's what is riling me about it all. Don't get me wrong, they are pulling out all the stops in terms of entertainment and stuff. But it is still essentially their house.

loubielou31 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:39:07

Anything below the knee counts as long in my book. It's a house party, wear what you like. Is she going to turn you away at the door and make you change?

carabos Fri 09-Nov-12 18:40:00

Wear what you like and if anyone says anything, deny all knowledge and say you didn't read the invite properly or "forgot" about the instructions. They're hardly likely to send you home are they? wink

borninnotts Fri 09-Nov-12 18:41:12

if you're not happy, don't go. simples....... :-)

NatashaBee Fri 09-Nov-12 18:45:01

Sorry, cross post - I assumed it was some sort of charity ball! I think that specifying long dresses (fine to say 'formal' or something, most people probably have some sort of formal dress) is a bit overkill for a party at someone's home!

Rollergirl1 Fri 09-Nov-12 18:46:16

Borninnotts: Can't do that, tis a very close family member. wink

I spoke to the female host today and questioned the need for a long dress and her words were "it's on the invite and everyone else is wearing one, but wear what you want".

Is just a pain, I really want to go to the party but just find all this ill-placed "formal high society" shit just a royal pain in the ass...sad

FeckOffCup Fri 09-Nov-12 18:48:14

I would just wear the most formal looking of the dresses you already have, it's not like they will chuck you out without an ankle length dress.

WineGoggles Fri 09-Nov-12 19:01:44

Wear the most glamorous dress you have and sod the "dress code". If you're questioned say it's very difficult to find long dresses to fit you and you weren't prepared to buy one and get it altered specially for one event.

SissySparkles Fri 09-Nov-12 19:09:51

I was once invited to a bbq at someone's house and was told the dress code was smart-causal. Now WHO has a dress code for a bbq???? And wtf is smart-casual anyway, surely that's an oxymoron?

schoolgovernor Fri 09-Nov-12 19:13:36

I'd go for a scout round charity shops. There are lots of nice long dresses about at this time of year. I quite like dressing up "posh" one in a while.

Rollergirl1 Fri 09-Nov-12 20:00:17

See now I've bowed to the pressure and taken a look on the Next website. There is a rather lovely Lipsy dress that I quite like the look of. But I know that it would sit languishing in the wardrobe after this party...

I'm really torn between sticking two fingers up (and possibly looking the most interesting person there) to their mis-placed grandeur or just sucking it up and fitting in with the crowd.

whois Fri 09-Nov-12 20:08:37

Family members party? Fuck the 'long' dress code then as long as you go in something classy.

pictish Fri 09-Nov-12 20:12:07

I would wear a shorter dress, and screw the long-dress-to-sit-around-in-someone's-house dress code.
What are they going to do? Refuse you at the door? Hardly.

scaevola Fri 09-Nov-12 20:12:58

If they are insisting on full length, then the equivalent dress code for men is white tie. If it is black tie for men, then shorter lengths are appropriate.

DontmindifIdo Fri 09-Nov-12 20:19:21

the dress you like, would it work if you after this event had the hem taken up?

Or go for the shorter dress, you might find while the hostess is keen to say everyone is going with the theme, a lot of others won't be buying a new dress for a house party if they have something short and formal. Do you know anyone else who's going you can ask about what they are wearing? (if you can talk one other into joining you in a knee length but glamorous dress then you'll be more comfortable, I bet other guests are having similar angst)

borninnotts Sat 10-Nov-12 07:55:45

debenhams has a cracking sale on dresses and my mate picked one up for a tenner reduced from £60 :-) leave the tags in & take it back the next day :-)

Rollergirl1 Sat 10-Nov-12 12:19:48

I feel a trip to Debenhams is in order! Thanks for that. grin

CuriousMama Sat 10-Nov-12 12:48:27

shock at a house party, how controlling! I really thought it was going to be a forces do or something?

Good idea re:debenhams.

Are they celebrating something big?

ethelb Sat 10-Nov-12 12:56:55

I doubt everyone will turn up in a long gown. They won't all own one. I am a short arse and just wouldn't shell out £100+ just to please a silly host. I would only wear it once. Plus would probably break my neck as long gowns are generally a foot to long. Don't wear one. You will look crap.

axure Sat 10-Nov-12 12:59:55

I'd just wear a 'glitzy & glamorous' dress I already had in the wardrobe, since it's just a house party. If it was a proper formal event then I'd follow the dress code to the letter so as not to embarrass myself.

CuriousMama Sat 10-Nov-12 13:01:16

OP just turn up like this grin

Journey Sat 10-Nov-12 13:17:58

They're having a laugh requesting this when it is just at their house.

You sound like you're good at making yourself glamorous without having to wear a long dress so I would just wear something from your wadrobe.

TheCraicDealer Sat 10-Nov-12 15:01:47

Just wear one of the smart dresses you already own. I really doubt the host will accost you at the front door and say "you can't come in- I can see your ankles". Maybe the "long dress" thing is more to make sure people get the right idea of how glam (boke) it's supposed to be and to make a suitable amount of effort.

Just borrow one.

Cahoots Sat 10-Nov-12 15:06:15

I would just wear something you already have that fits the glam theme. I would wear knee length rather than short. I woudn't worry about this for a moment.

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