To consider not going to work tomorrow?

(54 Posts)

I feel terrible, have a very high temperature of 39.3, aching limbs and sinuses full of snot. I'm considering not going in tomorrow but as we have quite an important morning I don't want to let people down.
I don't want to give any horrible bugs to the children (although probably one of them passed it to me in the first place). I am a teacher.
Colleagues in the past have commented on me being off a lot, not management, just one particular co-worker.
I've been there 6 years. I had a day off with conjunctivitis, then 5 days for noro virus my first year.
2nd year my appendix ruptured and due to the surgery and the fact I was in the nursery, ie lifting I had 5 weeks off.
No days off in my 3rd year.
4th year I was put on bed rest half way through my pregnancy. My DS was still born and although I technically could have taken maternity leave I came back after a month.
I got pregnant again, and didn't have so many problems but had time off to get checked by the consultant due to my history. I then went on maternity leave for a year.
I've been back since September with no absences.
I can't make up my mind if I am being paranoid about being off too much. I feel that my record isn't too bad but she constantly bad mouths me and I know if I'm not there tomorrow, she will just have another dig at me.

Should add that the ring leader has quite a following so it ends up a wee gang. Honestly, sometimes it is hard to believe they are the adults not kids themselves.

INeedThatForkOff Thu 08-Nov-12 21:51:38

The problem is your colleague, not your sickness record. You need to stand up to her by taking it to your line manager.

CaliforniaLeaving Thu 08-Nov-12 21:53:30

Yep the colleague is the problem not your time off sick.

ThatBintAgain Thu 08-Nov-12 21:53:35

Fuck 'em, if youre ill you're ill. (thats the conclusion I've cone to as am in a similar boat to you and also taking tomorrow off!) Hope you feel better soon.

kinkyfuckery Thu 08-Nov-12 21:54:18

If you are still unwell in the morning, don't go in. It doesn't matter how often you are off/have been off previously - it wouldn't be fair to risk passing on any illness to other members of staff/pupils/etc.

dontcallmehon Thu 08-Nov-12 21:54:37

Maternity absences don't count as normal absences, as you are protected during pregnancy. Other than that you haven't been absent much. I would take the day off and rest or you'll make yourself worse and still end up getting bitched about for infecting everyone!

Hope you feel better soon.

MamaMary Thu 08-Nov-12 21:54:50

I am ill and went to work today and yesterday against my better judgement. In my case, I am worried about holding down a job sad

I now feel a lot worse sad

Sounds like you have the flu, or are getting it. Please, take the day off.

CaptainHoratioWragge Thu 08-Nov-12 21:54:53

I think for a colleague to make snipey comments about your absences when some of it was caused by a difficult pregnancy and stillbirth is deliberately hurtful and unpleasant.

She might be a ring-leader but i'll bet you anything no-one likes her or trusts her.

Go in or not tomorrow depending on how you feel in the morning, but don't let this horrible person get to you, she isn't worth it.

If she says such things in the future, I'd speak to your line manager.

lotsofcheese Thu 08-Nov-12 21:55:01

See how you feel in the morning & make a decision then. If you still have a high temperature you shouldn't be going in.

I've made official complaints about her. Other members of staff have ended up signed off with stress because of her.
Union weren't particularly helpful, possibly because she is a member too.
HT loves her, thinks she is wonderful, can't understand why people complain.hmm
I usually just keep my head below the parapet as she has a unique talent to make you feel like shit with the opening sentence of a conversation.

Mamamary, that sounds awful. Hope you feel better soon.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 08-Nov-12 21:59:19

YANBU and your colleague sounds like a bitch.

maddening Thu 08-Nov-12 21:59:45

Stay off and let mnetters help devise a way to take the bitch down and come out smelling of roses! Seriously hate people like your colleague - they are awful to work with!

maddening Thu 08-Nov-12 22:01:01

Ps who does the ht answer too? Surely with lots of complaints they can't just ignore it!

Ht answers only to governors (private school) the management team are ridiculously useless at the moment at dealing with most things. That could be a thread all on its own!
I'm glad you all agree with my dh. He is threatening to hide the car keys if I try to go in.
It is just really difficult when you are made out to be a slacker when it isnt the case at all. You do get paranoid. sad

EverybodysSpookyEyed Thu 08-Nov-12 22:19:06

As a parent, I wouldn't want you around my kids! Stay at home and get better! You'll be back on Monday.

As for your colleague, you just have to ignore. I know it's hard bit it's the best way to deal with bullies!

If you go in on Monday make sure you do a big snotty sneeze all over her!

RainbowsFriend Thu 08-Nov-12 22:20:54

Teacher guilt. Stay home

CaptainHoratioWragge Thu 08-Nov-12 22:25:57

Can we help you plan your day tomorrow?

Is there a film you fancy watching under a duvet on the sofa/ a good book you want to read / can you send DP out now on a preparatory trip for throat sweets /trashy magazines/ lucozade etc........

dolcegusto123 Thu 08-Nov-12 22:31:52

I would stay off. Take it easy and I hope you feel better soon. I wouldnt worry too much about your co worker, they dont sound like a very nice person.

blackeyedsusan Fri 09-Nov-12 00:27:52

teachers are not indispensible... honest. you will not do a good job if you are pooly. you will will only infect the children an d as a caring teracher you do not want to do that...

if it were me I would be staggering into work dosed up on paacetamol, decongestants and ibupofen oh oik no use huiding it I wold be going to wok too... what is it about teachers?

FromEsme Fri 09-Nov-12 00:30:09

I agree with the others, stay off and have a word with your line manager if the ring leader continues.

It's mad how teaching so often attracts people who are so petty. Drives me mad.

ImperialFireworksInMyKnickers Fri 09-Nov-12 00:36:01

Get well soon and good luck with uber bitch. Can't offer helpful advice except that snidy bitches had a lot to do with my decision to become self-employed.

VirginiaDare Fri 09-Nov-12 00:42:19

39.3 is not a very high temp, but I hope you feel better soon anyway.

justbogoffnow Fri 09-Nov-12 00:45:11

Do not go in if you are unwell, end of. Sod this stupid woman and crap comments. You know you are a committed teacher. You can't help getting ill. Schools are germ pits! Rest up, hope you feel better soon smile.

Virginia it is .

Normal is around 37 deg

Anything above 38 usually makes you feel like shite

TanteRose Fri 09-Nov-12 00:51:25

VirginiaD - sorry but 39.3 is a very high temp! esp. for an adult...

OP def. do not go in

your colleague sounds awful

can you speak to her outright?

"You seem to have a problem with my absenses - would you prefer I came in sick and infected half the school? what would rather have me do? hmmmm??"
(and then pointedly sneeze all over her)

wink

TanteRose Fri 09-Nov-12 00:52:30

"what would you rather have me do?"

sparkleyangel Fri 09-Nov-12 00:56:27

Agree with virginiadare 39.3 is not that high tbh nearly everyone is suffering with this at the moment must be a virus going round, just fill up with cold flu remedy and carry on. One suggestion, confront your co worker and tell her to keep her opinions to herself or you will take it further.

sparkleyangel Fri 09-Nov-12 01:01:54

Low-grade 38-39C, mod 39-40C, high-grade +40C. NHS Direct:

TanteRose Fri 09-Nov-12 01:10:49

well, it doesn't really matter if its defined as moderate or high, the OP feels like shit!

I know that when I got mastitis, I had a fever of about 39C and I really felt like I was dying.

when my DCs got fevers of 39C, they were sometimes running around like nothing was wrong

sparkleyangel Fri 09-Nov-12 01:25:57

Well it will matter when she phones in and they think well its not that high skiver.
The point is OP feels people think shes a skiver already because of her collegue.
Better to go in and be sent home, that way they cant say a word can they.

Walkacrossthesand Fri 09-Nov-12 02:23:53

Trouble is, sparkleyangel, we often dont look too bad when we are hot & viral, so going in to work will mean a day of feeling rubbish & underperforming - unlikely to get sent home unless (eg) vomiting! OP, it sounds like your sickness record is more to do with a few significant life events (so sorry to hear of your SB) than frequent single days off for viral illness. Is it worth talking to HT about it when you are better, to check that he isn't concerned about 'sickness record' - then the sniper will have less power over your decision making in future! Is she squeaky clean BTW? Hope you feel better soon.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 09-Nov-12 02:49:50

this, quite frankly, as the saying goes, boils my piss.

OP - you are ill. End of. stay home.

i wish i could follow my own advice because last week, when i had a chest infection, i used my bloody annual leave rather than go sick.....

i get digs about my sick record.
before i joined the job i am in i had no time off.
since joining the job, ive had a few absences but its been circumstances and beyond my control - im quite sure the stress, hours and shifts have contributed to making me ill, plus i broke my coccyx and needed about 5 weeks off with that.

i get sick of the pissy comments and i see no point in being a martyr - who thanks you for it?

and yet....i find it hard to take time off when ill. confused

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 09-Nov-12 03:03:29

Fill up with cold remedy and carry on with a 39.3C temp?

Yes if you want to pass out!

Don't feel bad about being off, that is a high temp for an adult and you wouldn't probably manage the journey.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 09-Nov-12 03:10:16

....And another thing!

do you want to just pass the flu around the kids?
its attitudes like 'carry on regardless' that spread the bloody flu/noro virus/ colds/ each year, because some fool thinks you should go to work while ill.

stay home. get well.

flow4 Fri 09-Nov-12 04:41:19

Stay at home if you still feel rubbish. Tbh you probably aren't safe to drive, and your DH is right to hide the keys.

39.3C is 102.7F - that is high. If it got as high as 40/104 you would probably be fitting and/or hospitalized. General advice is to consult a doc if it goes above 38.5C. BBC website info .

I like the NHS24 self-help website which takes you thru' a series of questions to help you decide what to do and whether you can look after yourself.

Pitmountainpony Fri 09-Nov-12 04:45:17

Stay home. I am so sorry about your ds.

Haemadoots Fri 09-Nov-12 04:57:30

Stay at home, I have been off for a week with tonsillitis/viral thing felt so bad (have asthma too) I am ill so I am not going on to pass this around colleagues and vulnerable people.

Tiredtrout Fri 09-Nov-12 05:03:12

Stay home, have a lovely duvet day with lots of juice and soup and naps

I'm not going in. I got up to have a shower and passed out on the bathroom floor. I can't be doing that in a classroom - I could squash a little person. grin Seriously though, I don't think want to pass things on to anyone. I've had an awful night and wouldn't wish it on anyone. When I go in next I'm going to speak to the head again about the bullying behaviour.
Thank you for all the comments. Tbh, when my appendix ruptured, if I had gone to the doctor the day before they probably would have been able to give me keyhole surgery and I wouldn't have been off so long.
As I write this though, I feel incredibly guilty and am fighting the urge to go in.
Back to bed with a flu plus drink, I know how to live.

FolkGhoul Fri 09-Nov-12 06:49:29

Glad you're not going in.

There's no way just dosing yourself up with cold and flu remedy would be enough!

It's alright if you're working in an office and can just get on with the mechanics of your job and ignore everyone else, but sorting out children's squabbles and being on the ball mentally is so difficult when you feel like shite!

I know, because I have experience of both.

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 09-Nov-12 06:58:30

No definitely don't go and spread it around. Tell your colleague to mind her own beeswax. In fact I'd take every opportunity I could do be rude to her, she sounds like a vile individual.

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Fri 09-Nov-12 06:59:03

As a manager or colleague, esp in your setting, I'd be cross if someone turned up with a fever and send them back home. Not just because of the risk of infecting others - also because of the risk of making yourself more ill by not resting when your body is telling you it needs you to.

Get better soon.

Euphemia Fri 09-Nov-12 07:18:19

Teaching is far too physical a job to do when you're ill. I was off last Thursday with a bad cold; I went back to work on Friday and by lunchtime I was just about on my knees! I had only taught for ninety minutes, and I had a relatively easy afternoon ahead of me, but I just could. Not. Do. It. So I went home!

Stay home! You're doing no-one any favours by being there unwell.

Euphemia Fri 09-Nov-12 07:23:07

You always feel guilty as a teacher not going in. When I worked in an admin post, if I was off the work just waited til I was back.

When you're a teacher, someone needs to cover your class rather than doing what they were planning to do that day. Guilt. Thirty wee people won't have their teacher that day. Guilt. You weren't feeling well yesterday so you maybe didn't leave the classroom quite as well-prepared for today as normal. Guilt!

Off to bed and take care of yourself!

Groovee Fri 09-Nov-12 07:23:39

Stay home, I work in nursery and have been off all week with pleurisy. Last week I had a pain in my back and thought I'd pulled a muscle as it wasn't constant. Turns out I had a very low down chest infection, which left untreated has me off sick. I didn't even feel ill.

Ignore the colleague and leave her to bitch. One day karma will bite her bum x

TwitchyTail Fri 09-Nov-12 07:27:04

Go in and cough all over her, then come home and snuggle up in bed.

DontmindifIdo Fri 09-Nov-12 07:31:03

good, glad you're staying at home. Now, wha'ts this cowbag's sick record like? Does she ever have a day off?

If I was you and the head is backing this bully, then you need to start looking round for another job. Eventually she will bully someone who will give as good as they get and totally distroy her, but that's not you, and in most areas there are teaching jobs, so why make yourself ill dealing with her when you could go elsewhere and she can be someone else's problem? (oh and sick records will be bad with someone like this in the team, stressed people are more likely to catch other bugs, might be worth someone pointing that out to the head as well)

ENormaSnob Fri 09-Nov-12 08:25:23

Virginia you are completely wrong, 39.3 is a high temp and would warrant blood cultures if in hospital.

SantasComingFace Fri 09-Nov-12 08:33:19

You are doing the right thing staying off. I have a 'warning' from my employer as I have had 2 instances of sick this year and a period of long term sick last year, all completely unavoidable. I'm going in today feeling like crap but can't risk losing my job.

Tell the woman to piss off and mind her own beeswax! angry

Update: just got a message from a friend at work saying the bitch was sniping to anyone who would listen about me being off again. She has apparently said she sent me an email too. sad
Actually hope she has because it would help prove the bullying if there is written evidence.
Instead of going to school I got a gp appointment and now must be shaking with antibiotics. Chest infection on both sides. I'm going to have a great weekend.

Euphemia Fri 09-Nov-12 17:52:52

You take care of yourself and sod that cow. I hope she has sent you an email, so you have some evidence.

DontmindifIdo Fri 09-Nov-12 17:59:42

you have a chest infection, you are proper ill. also, as she's not your boss and I assume not having to cover for you, it genuinely doesn't matter what she thinks or says. In fact, if she says anything to you, I'd ask her straight out why she thinks it's anything to do with her?

People like this get you justifying yourself to them and act like they think they are entitled to be incharge and important and just because they act this way, everyone else falls in with it. It will be bug the hell out of her when she asks what's wrong and you do'nt start a whole story about having a chest infection and sick note etc but just tell her it's none of her business.

Repeat to yourself "this person is unimportant"

(And start looking for a new job)

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