To think that somebody should have have helped?

(51 Posts)
harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 21:54:34

My DF (87) stumbled getting on a bus. The step was very high and not one of the modern ones. He has a walking stick,he also has 'big' shades as he has lost one eye and the other may be vunerable. He has fallen and he is hurt and nobody helped. The driver saw-didn't get out of seat.

Bluestocking Mon 08-Oct-12 21:56:43

Of course someone should have helped. I'm really sorry to hear about this. How is he now?

AgentZigzag Mon 08-Oct-12 21:56:44

It's possible they didn't know he'd done so much harm to himself, but they could have asked whether he was alright.

How is he now?

YoloOrTwice Mon 08-Oct-12 21:58:30

That is horrid! WTF!!! Is he ok now?

Really gobsmacked that nobody helped! Disgusted!!!!

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 22:00:10

Not one passenger asked.

xkittyx Mon 08-Oct-12 22:01:10

I'm so sorry to hear that. How disgraceful that no-one helped.

WelshMaenad Mon 08-Oct-12 22:02:00

People can be horrifyingly callous. I witnessed an elderly last fall outside the bank once, and sat on the pavement with her wrapped in my coat till the ambulance arrived.

I'm sorry nobody helped your dad. I would have, if I had been there.

gordyslovesheep Mon 08-Oct-12 22:02:30

Oh how horrible sad yes somebody should have helped is he?

SoleSource Mon 08-Oct-12 22:02:33

sad selfish badtards

Big kiss for him X

Dominodonkey Mon 08-Oct-12 22:05:22

YANBU. Was it in a city? I fell once up the steps at Westminster station, not hurt but no-one checked I was ok and it made me feel really sad.

However, an elderly lady fell over in the high street near me (London suburbs) last year and about 20 of us rushed to help her. There was an amazing mix of ages, races and walks of life all wanting to do their bit.

So not everyone is uncaring and selfish.

Hope your df is ok now.

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 22:06:12

I'm just so upset because he spent his whole life helping/teaching.
He's got some nasty grazeing/ bruising.

gordyslovesheep Mon 08-Oct-12 22:07:17

poor poor man x

Bluestocking Mon 08-Oct-12 22:08:26

Hugs to you and him and best wishes for a swift and total recovery. I would definitely have jumped up and helped, and I'm training my DS to be alert to people in need too. That's all we can do - our own little bit, and what we can do to influence the younger generation.

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 22:11:28

Unfortunately he has very bad osteoporosis (rare in men but because of no sun in his youth,smog) Let's hope there is no more damage.

McHappyPants2012 Mon 08-Oct-12 22:12:58

Awwww bless I would of helped

Coprolite Mon 08-Oct-12 22:13:27

What is wrong with some people?

Is it that they genuinely don't care? Because I really can't understand how people get to be like that.

Poor man.

whois Mon 08-Oct-12 22:15:56

That's bad. Someome should have helped :-(

I don't think the bus divers are meant to get out tho?

For a mee positive spin on human nature I came off t bike a few weeks ago and had three men come sprinting over to see if I was ok. If you want make attention I can recommend a dramatic over-the-handle bars fall.

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 22:25:20

No, the drivers can't get out. He saw and looked worried.

But not one,not one.......

Woozley Mon 08-Oct-12 22:31:44

Other passengers probably couldn't see or were not watching. I know I wouldn't look up at every but stop to see who was getting on or if someone needed help.

Also I've asked elderly gents before if they need help or would like to sit, some get really offended. I'd just watch first and see if they were ok (that's if I was paying any attention at all) but in your DF's case he probably would have already fallen by then sad

GhostofMammaTJ Mon 08-Oct-12 22:33:22

I would have helped!! Anyone there should have helped!!

Jinsei Mon 08-Oct-12 22:35:09

I'm so sorry OP.sad How is he now?

GhostofMammaTJ Mon 08-Oct-12 22:36:51

How is he now?

Haemadoots Mon 08-Oct-12 22:37:04

sad I would have helped, I remember walking through a shopping mall with my then bf now ex, elderly lady fell and he bloody walked over her I was shock I helped her up

Icelollycraving Mon 08-Oct-12 22:38:45

So so sorry to hear that. Really hope he feels much better soon thanks

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 22:41:49

Oh,well what's done is done,you just can't undo it in his mind that nobody cares for the old. He sounds very despondent.

thebody Mon 08-Oct-12 22:42:36

The more people who are around the less likely they are to help as assume someone else will.

Also bus passengers tend to be either very young so in own world or unsure of helping or much older and unable to offer help.

I would have but then was a nurse and so it's instinct, some people are worried about doing the wrong thing in an accident.

Hope your dad is ok, horrible thing to happen and can really knock confidence.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 08-Oct-12 22:46:19

Oh how sad sad I hope he's ok and you can tell him that lots of us wish him all the best so he realises not everyone is So callous

thecatsminion Mon 08-Oct-12 22:50:31

I fell over on my ankle when I was 8 months pregnant in a quiet residential street. It was really sore and I lay there for a few seconds, then pulled myself up by railings and rested against the fence for several minutes. The only other person in the street was a man in a suit standing a few meters away who saw me fall, and then deliberately turned his back and carried on his mobile phone conversation. He wouldn't look me in the eye when I limped past him too - he knew fine he should have asked if I was alright (which I would have done if I'd seen someone fall, even if they weren't obviously old, pregnant or otherwise less robust).

People can be bastards. I'm really sorry for your Dad - of course someone should have helped. Karma will bite them on the arse one day. But that's not much sure to your Dad. I hope he's ok and it hasn't shaken his confidence too much.

beancurd Mon 08-Oct-12 22:51:50

That is horrible. It's so random. I nearly died once in a setting where staff could have been called one bothered bizarrely. I would be writing very tart letters to the bus company about the shit head driver. Your poor dad, hope his confidence comes back.

Kalisi Mon 08-Oct-12 22:57:58

Oh that's horrible I would have helped! Was he alone? If you were there maybe people thought you were handling it? I know it's no excuse but unless someone is visibly hurt or alone I think people might turn away to save you the "embarrassment" of people watching you fall. Or people are just dicks it depends sad

Morloth Mon 08-Oct-12 23:00:04

I try to always be aware of the bystander effect and so always jump in.

It is awful that no one helped, but it isn't normal.

Only once have I seen people ignore someone in distress and that was in Singapore - which can be a harsh culture sometimes.

Where was it?

I'm constantly amazed at how uncaring people are. I tripped last week coming out of a baby group. I'm not pregnant or especially old but I was carrying my 8 month old daughter who I managed to catch as I fell. She was crying, I was crying as I'd given my knee such a bang. People stepped over me, people I had spent 40 minutes in a room with before.

I'm sorry your dad had such a horrible experience. People can be utter bastards angry

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 23:21:10

Kalisi, I live a long way away.
Morloth Leicester.

Alwaysme123 Mon 08-Oct-12 23:22:08

I cant believe people have no compassion or empathy or bloody manners.. what would it have taken??? a few moments out of their day just to say
" are you ok ?"
" i can give you a hand"

A few years ago now, i helped an elderly lady who was walking in front of me who tripped.
luckily we had a library near by where i sat her down and waited with her until she felt better..

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 23:26:50


Woozley Mon 08-Oct-12 23:28:40

I am constantly amazed by how caring people are. I tend to believe most people who didn't help had a reason not to. I think most people would help others given the right circumstances.

spiderlight Mon 08-Oct-12 23:29:02

Oh, bless him sad I honestly don't understand how people can walk by and ignore someone who's hurt or in need of help. I never can.

catwomanlikesmeatballs Mon 08-Oct-12 23:36:38

That's horriblesad

harbingerofdoom Mon 08-Oct-12 23:39:12

Woozley I find your post very un caring!
Not one of the students helped.

Woozley Mon 08-Oct-12 23:59:21

Well, you are entitled to your interpretation, I guess... confused

apostropheuse Tue 09-Oct-12 00:11:04

I slipped and fell on a busy city centre street and I was so embarrassed - and had cracked my ribs and hurt my knees . The first people to reach me and help were a young businessman and a middle-aged lady. I was so grateful to them and thanked them profusely. To be honest, there were several other people I saw making a move to come over but when they saw I was being helped they obviously left - they could see how embarrased I was and that I was being helped already.

I do think that in general people are kind-hearted.

I am shocked to hear what happened to your dad though - that's awful. I hope he is ok now.

Leena49 Tue 09-Oct-12 05:53:41

It's common too common. I once walked the entire length of a high street and found an old man sat in the middle of the road looking scared. He had fallen. Everyone was walking round him. So I went to help him. Then shouted at some of the people! I just don't understand it.

claraschu Tue 09-Oct-12 06:22:21

I don't know if it would be possible for some of us to send him cards: strangers doing something to let him know that random strangers DO care.

My very old father died a few weeks ago, and I am sitting crying about your dad and thinking that my daughter would love to make your father a get well card. Maybe he would find that weird, or maybe he's already better, but if he is shaken up and a bit lonely, it might be nice for him.

Oh, that's awful. Your poor dad.

I'm surprised the driver couldn't help, though - they've got a rule on the buses I use regularly that the driver helps if you have something like a pushchair or need the step lowering.

I can understand why you would feel much more angry with other passengers who could have helped but didn't (so would I), but I wonder if it'd be possible to write and ask the bus company if drivers could be allowed to help? It seems bad that this driver was looking concerned, so obviously wanted to.

He shouldn't have to on a full bus, but if things like this happen, maybe there needs to be a different rule.

I hope your dad feels better soon and is not too shaken.

RuleBritannia Tue 09-Oct-12 07:22:12

It might be the general rule that drivers have to stay in their cabins (health & safety?) but Reading Buses has buses where the entrance floor can be lowered from the cabin and the driver leaves his lair safety cubicle to let down a ramp to enable wheelchair users to get on the bus. The driver sees them safely on before he returns to his cabin.

It is dreadful that no one rose from their backsides to help the OP's father. I was at a bus stop yesterday when a man using two crutches came and stood at the bus stop. I could see that he was in difficulty and stood up straight away for him to have my seat. He declined though, being independent.

gimmecakeandcandy Tue 09-Oct-12 07:50:16

Your poor dad. I would have helped, please let him know how many people here are thinking of him x

A few years back I was heavily pregnant and an eldest lady slipped - she was over on the other side of the road but I immediately went to her aid but nobody else did even though there were quite a few people about sad
I'll never understand how people can just stand by but on a positive note, I have seen far more people help people who fall than not

Hope he is ok now x

eggsandwich Tue 09-Oct-12 09:31:32

Thats disgraceful! how would they feel if it was one of their elderly parents. I help a gentleman a few months back that tripped up on the pavement, he cut his face very badly and was clearly shaken, I pulled over in my car and took him to my gp. I didn't do it for a medal, I did it out of compassion.

Mrsjay Tue 09-Oct-12 09:34:31

I hope your dad is ok of course somebody should have helped him ,

harbingerofdoom Wed 10-Oct-12 22:03:26

That's just what I can't understand-why nobody helped. A bus of youngsters but why didn't,even one think of their own Grandpa/dad (if they ever knew them).
Claraschu How old was your DF? I'd like that
He is very badly bruised and bleeding on his knees and hip. Only just coming out of the shock.
I bet the cretins just sat there laughing

Soditall Wed 10-Oct-12 22:26:22

What is wrong with some people.I hope your poor DF is okay now?

I'm seriously ill and disabled myself and I would have helped if I was there.

Soditall Wed 10-Oct-12 22:33:25

doom tell him lots of us have asked after him.

Your poor dad this has made me cry,I can never understand the thoughts or feelings of those that don't help I have always helped people in need since I was a very small child and I have raised all 5 of my children to be the same.

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