To think Mumsnet has changed me?? (or Mumsnet vs The Real World)

(329 Posts)
Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 07:59:56

Mumsnet has changed my thoughts and attitudes in the four years I've been prowling these 'ere boards.

I have a big group of friends in RL and a lively, jokey social life blah de blah but my hackles get raised so much more quickly now. My attitude and knowledge about feminism, porn, domestic abuse, is much more evolved than it was pre Mumsnet (I didn't really think about these things to be honest). Now I speak up and challenge dodgy views - (hopefully) in a good natured/bantery way.

BUT it's weird when you get a RL vs Mumsnet jolt! When a group of intelligent, fab real life women talk dismissively about things that people would go nuts about on here. It's like a parallel universe in some ways. So sometimes I think it's made me go slightly insania.

Anyone else remotely know what I mean?!

NeedlesCuties Sun 07-Oct-12 08:04:46


That's 100% how I feel too smile

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead Sun 07-Oct-12 08:08:12

Yep. Maybe a lot of us need to start a new country where our values will then be the majority instead.
Every single day I find myself more feminist and edging further left! grin

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:10:12

I suppose it's a good thing..well it's definitely a good thing. But it's those weird moments when you think 'Bloody hell this conversation would never happen on Mumsnet'.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:10:37


FancyPuffin Sun 07-Oct-12 08:10:38

I know exactly what you mean!

Oh yes! I'm much more aware of some issues than I was pre-MN. I am also far less prone to judging others than I used to be (older children in buggies is the first thing that comes to mind blush).

Mumsnet has changed the way I view the world, and others in it. Mostly in a good way. smile

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:13:32

Two examples from the last year or so:

One example was a friend telling us her dh had drunkenly vommed on her baby's new clothes. There was laughter and 'God what a twat' but no 'LTB'!

A male friend joking about a colleague saying 'Friday night is Wife Rape night'. I said 'That's not at all funny - that's very disturbing and offensive'. He looked really embarrassed and was backtracking like mad.

Nuttyprofessor Sun 07-Oct-12 08:13:53

It has certainly changed my marriage and view of men. I realised it is not men that are narcistic self serving pains it is my man, or was.

MN made me realise I should leave the bastard. He didn't want to be left and worked really hard to change. I now have a good husband and the DC' have a good father.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:14:35

Puddlejumper - I am very, very aware of wheelchairs and buggies on buses. I'm more aware and more considerate.

picnicbasketcase Sun 07-Oct-12 08:15:24

I never used to be ashamed of buying Fruit Shoots

Shakirasma Sun 07-Oct-12 08:15:27

YANBU I am exactly the same. I kind of feel more tolerant, less judgy of strangers, and more aware of 'isms'.

I also get incredibly frustrated with narrow mindedness and judginess by friends, when only a short time ago I would have been agreeing with them 100%

I'm also way less judgy and much better informed (I think) on certain issues.

LizzieVereker Sun 07-Oct-12 08:18:26

MN has given me a kind of Ready Brek glow of confidence: it has made me braver about standing up for things like the people above have said, it makes me feel that there are other people out there who "get" me, and that there are people who would support me if I needed to talk things through.

I also love the way mn has reinforced and reawakened my 80s feminist views. My old RL friends are pretty feminist but my mum friends made in the last 10 years aren't and it's good to see there are lots of others out there.

gettingeasier Sun 07-Oct-12 08:20:02

I know what you mean too

I find I have to keep my mouth shut around issues in friends marriages. I have always been stridently anti "I should do everything because I am female" but MN has really shown me just how insidious male dominance is.

After my divorce and discovering MN I really feel its women who do almost everything practical and emotional in a relationship. On here people tend to get that but in RL they think you are an embittered man hating divorcee , mostly because they dont even see it or want to go there so deeply embedded is the whole thing

margerykemp Sun 07-Oct-12 08:20:33

Same here.

GoldenPeppermintCreams Sun 07-Oct-12 08:20:38

I know what you mean. I am now more judgy or less judgy, depending on what the topic is.

TuesdayNightClub Sun 07-Oct-12 08:26:01

It has changed me in all the ways you describe, OP, but I do feel that MN is quite unrealistic in many ways. There is such a cross-section on here that I read opinions on here that I have never heard in RL and don't expect to. This relates in particular to things that are unacceptable in the home (laminate flooring, air freshener, toilet brushes, twigs in a jar, photos of oneself, the list of items on the MN unapproved list is a bit silly I have them all in spades )

Unfortunately I sometimes use MN language in RL and get some funny looks. The other day I said "You are SO not being unreasonable" (the matter of reasonableness or otherwise had never been raised) and then "oh, BUNFIGHT!" in the space of about 5 minutes. The others were confused

TroublesomeEx Sun 07-Oct-12 08:28:10

It must have changed me.

My daughter is 6. The other week we went to hospital for her and she opted for the stairs rather than the lift because:

"the lift is for people who can't use the stairs and if we use it they might have to wait for ages for it. We can use the stairs".

She has the same attitude towards disabled toilets. And is quite vocal if someone says "just go to the disabled toilets, they're closer".

Other than that, I'm probably less judgy in general.

nameuschangeus Sun 07-Oct-12 08:31:54

I was going to post exactly this yesterday (until phone scuppered me but that's another story)

I think mn has definitely made me a better person - more tolerant, less judgey, more arsey with intolerant judgey people in rl and generally a rounder person who can see others points of view better.

It has also ensured that my house is a tip and that I have to stop myself from writing things like aibu in rl situations. grin

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:32:44

YY to the taking the lift thing!

Also if a child is misbehaving I don't assume the mum is rubbish. I think maybe the child has learning disabilities or there are other issues at play. I even talk to said mother in a supportive way - and I'm a Londoner! shock

TroublesomeEx Sun 07-Oct-12 08:32:56

Probably should clarify - I wouldn't have used disabled toilets/blue badge parking spaces anyway, but the lift issue wouldn't have occurred to me.

It was the fact that I must have said things out loud about the lifts issue for DD to say it herself and then realise that that also applied to the toilets.

I'm not an arse!

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:36:09

Yeah, right FolkGirl hmm grin

MadameOvary Sun 07-Oct-12 08:37:42

I was going to post something like this. MN combined with a DV support group has completely changed me. If you read the thread on here from just before DD was born, when I asked AIBU not to want my toxic ex's then 8y/o daughter at the birth (this was his idea not hers), I sound hopelessly naive.

If that happened today...well it wouldn't. I would have dumped him at the first sign of a red flag.

MN has given me a clarity which is invaluable, because I can pass it on to my DD.

I'm not remotely drunk, but I really really love each and every one of of you that helped me. grin

I am also much more likely to be kind and supportive to other parents having a tough time with kids in public.

On crowded tube the other day family of 6 or so got on with wailing toddler in mum's arms and dad with buggy. I offered the dad a seat and he said 'it's okay' and i said 'it doesn't sound okay'. He then called over to his wife 'she says you have to sit' so the mum and wailing child did sit and the child stopped wailing.

Better for everyone, but I wouldn't have been so assertive without thinking of this from their perspective thanks to mn.

SucksToBeScaryMe Sun 07-Oct-12 08:41:06

Totally agree. I wish i'd found this website years ago.

PrimaBallerina Sun 07-Oct-12 08:48:58

YANBU. Me too - although I don't agree with all generally accepted MN views.

nuttyprofessor what a lovely example, I'm glad things are working out well for you*

SmokyClav Sun 07-Oct-12 08:50:10

I have learnt so much, about many topics, but particularly about health and additional needs. I was wowing someone in rl with an explanation of how constipation causes rivers of poo, and they really thought I was an expert. Simply parroting what I've read on here.

Me too. I would have chucked out exP years ago. As it is, MN has given me the tools to see how manipulative and gaslighty he can be and we get on a lot better now he's aware I've rumbled him. Ha!

Fecklessdizzy Sun 07-Oct-12 08:59:52

I actually used wankbadger in conversation for the first time yesterday - to general consternation/hilarity and felt like I'd passed some kind of secret initiation test! grin

You're a loverly nest of vipers, so you are thanks ( also not drunk )

ledkr Sun 07-Oct-12 09:01:12

I agree too, mine eyes have been opened, only negative thing for me is its made me a little I easy over the behaviour of men and even though dh seems perfect I can't help wondering if he will change,
The porn/lap dancing thing is the one that has made me think the most though,
I used to think I was cool cos it didn't bother me whereas I can now see the other side,

ledkr Sun 07-Oct-12 09:01:47


TroublesomeEx Sun 07-Oct-12 09:03:22

grin @ Smoky

LouMacca Sun 07-Oct-12 09:06:51

YANBU! I too am more likely to challenge things that I would have let slide before.

I am actually amazed though how many people stay in unhappy marriages and how many have emotional/physical affairs. MN helped me confront my DH about our dwindling relationship and made me realise that there is nothing wrong with going to Relate, it's helped us get things back on track!

AnastasiaSteele Sun 07-Oct-12 09:18:58

MN opened my eyes to an abusive relationship, that it wasn't in my head and that I needed to get help.

I feel like a right harpy though and am pretty sure I annoy some people on here because I feel like I'm posting on other posters threads that their DP or DH is abusive and posting Women's Aid number. It's not because I want them to be in an abusive relationship, I want to help as I've been helped.

I also think I'm less judged and having my views challenged. It's good.

CrunchyCowPat Sun 07-Oct-12 09:22:40

I have been lurking for over a year (just recently started posting). MN has made me less judgy, raised my awareness of issues such as DV and ensured I knew I wasn't alone when I found 50 Shades to be a pile a shite and everyone else was raving about it.
I have cringed when buying DC (9 and 6) a Greggs sausage roll during the summer, and I although I don't really swear unless provoked in RL once told DH to fuck the fuck off....
He was well impressed.

Kalisi Sun 07-Oct-12 09:35:35

I'm an opinionated cow and reading some of these threads has actually made me change my opinion!!! Mid rant sometimes. Now that's a powerful forum.

YANBU OP. I don't really have friends IRL, though when meeting people now I've been dismissing people far more quickly in the 'potential friend' category for saying/doing/acting in a way that pre-MN I would have just put up with.

I always try to smile at those with tricky toddlers, offer to help where I can (holding another child's hand or something, I've always been turned down but I offer) and whilst I used to offer a hand to parents struggling with a buggy and stairs and similar situations anyway, I think I'm more open to seeing those situations now. Whether that's because of my job or MN or a miox of both though I don't know!

I think coming to MN through my fromative young adult years was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, even if I did run away and not come back for a few months after a bunfight on my idealistic view on adoption in the UK! I have since realised how difficult they make it to adopt but my 18yo self was overly optimistic hmm

I also use MN phrases IRL and on FB, nobody knows what I'm on about! DP also uses MNisms which is funny. We had a minor argument not long ago where he told me I was being very unreasonable, which promptly stopped the arguing as we both broke down in giggles grin

Fuck the fuck off and then fuck off some more has become DPs choice jokey 'insult' when we're winding each other up too, though he usually only gets to "fuck the fuck" because he's very ticklish hmm/wink

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 09:45:01

The only subject I feel is argued about in a counter productive and unsupportive, overly judge way is....breast feeding! Drives me nuts.

Way2Go Sun 07-Oct-12 09:49:48

I think I am less judgey too. (although I thought I wasn't before....but now I see I was blush )
I am especially less judgey about DC's or parents apparent naughty behavior.

Spuddybean Sun 07-Oct-12 09:53:42

I totally agree. I'm not sure if it has changed me or that in most cases it has made me aware of things i never would have thought about beneath the surface. Also it has made me consolidate my opinions. Where i knew how i felt but could not articulate it, i know know exactly my stand and reasons on a lot of subjects.

MN has also massively improved my relationship with DP by increasing my awareness of my worth and confidence to stand up for myself. Whereas before i thought maybe i was odd (as my mum is a doormat so was my only model). Despite DP's horror at the beginning it has meant our relationship has improved no end and he is happier to. smile

chosenone Sun 07-Oct-12 09:57:26

I agree 100%. Sounds twee but I really feel I belong here grin along with the fruit shoot type info I have had some really eloquent political/ news type debates that have really interested me. I have had some amazing support when going through divorce and other family issues. I also think the straight talking, to the point advice on AIBU is amazing as RL friends can be so much more agreeable!
Mumsnet has made me question the relationship I have with my parents though, I never really realised how controlling and slightly toxic they are sad when I feared divorcing as it upset them. However, I've also read stories so tragic it makes you appreciate and accept your family whatever their flaws, I'm just glad I'm aware of them and can stand up to my parents as the grown up I now am.
Many many times I have been moved to tears by the efforts people will go to to support one another or offer real practical help when others need it. Thinking if the baby milk for neighbour thread. The support for each other is truly phenomenal I honestly believe and r rather than comparing are glittery tickets etc. I'm also a more confident feminist and so are many others I know who mumsnet. long may it continue ladies.

bigkidsdidit Sun 07-Oct-12 09:59:00

I was always a feminist but mumsnet has really turned me into an activist and I am so confident from mn - I like lizzie's description of a ready brek glow - that I challenge sexist remarks etx now.

Mn has made me so much more driven in life - as a feminist , in my career - I find Xenia very inspiring, even though I only agree with 50% of what she says - and as a mother. I love it here smile

amandine07 Sun 07-Oct-12 10:01:08

YANBU! I find that the older I get, the more feminist I seem to become.
I'm 34 now and there is stuff I don't accept from men that I would have just glossed over & accepted a few years ago.

Yes maybe it's the whole getting older thing in general, but I have to say its helped crystallise issues and make me realise that I am definitely not BU about certain things. That said, obviously there is a healthy dose of reality and judging each situation on its own merits.

I am just a lot more 'aware' about issues now, especially to do with men & relationships etc. thanks MN!

NellyBluth Sun 07-Oct-12 10:08:43

I definitely agree.

Some of it is just little things you learn - like the fact that the spaces on buses are for wheelchair users, not for buggies. I honestly thought that it was for both, which with hindsight was pretty stupid of me, and I'm glad that I learnt that.

But I read about so many tragic circumstances on her (DV, abuse, illness) and it has opened my eyes from the probably rather blinkered and innocent view I had on life.

I actually have a friend who is very negative in her outlook, generally about very small issues. I want to tell her to come on MN and read around for a few days and see what real problems are. Being a bit busy with work is not a real problem.

50smellsofshite Sun 07-Oct-12 10:19:30

This place really gives you an education.

I this its because we all live in our little part of the world, mixing with the same kind of people who generally hold the same sort of views.

Here, you have access to all sorts of views and for me personally women who are far more educated and articulate than I could ever hope to be. People I can really learn from. I'm a much better person fo it.

I hear friends, family and colleagues talk now and I think "you are so damn narrow-minded" a lot of the time.

Everyone I know gets all their information from the Daiy Mail.

But, I still don't think this is a balanced or representative selection of soviets. There are some arguments that sway too far a certain way that make me feel it's because the demographic is the way it is <intentionally vague>>

I love this place I do.

DilysPrice Sun 07-Oct-12 10:28:12

I threw my Mumboots away grin.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 11:05:47

Shit, what are Mumboots?

YouOldSlag Sun 07-Oct-12 11:09:10

I was using a ladies toilet yesterday and had both DS2 in a pushchair and DS1 (6) outside the door. I went in the cubicle and talked to them through the door to make sure they didn't run off etc.

When I came out, a woman (on crutches incidentally) said "you know, you can buy a radar key for only about 3 quid. Why don't you do that and then you can take the pushchair in the Disabled loos with you?"

I was open mouthed. I wouldn't DREAM of it! Has she never heard of Mumsnet? That was my "I am a true Mnetter to the bone" moment.

CouthyMowWearingOrange Sun 07-Oct-12 11:20:16

MN has opened my eyes massively. I didn't even SEE that the partner I had when I first joined MN was an abusive rapist. He was though.

MN gave me my sense of self confidence that I didn't have to allow men to abuse me, physically, sexually or emotionally.

It has enabled me to extricate myself from two abusive relationships, that first one and a second EA one.

I now have overcome the dreadful childhood I had, and am able to have boundaries on what is acceptable in a relationship.

I am a much stronger person because of MN.

Before I joined MN, I had no thoughts on politics, didn't vote, was completely uninformed. Now I have educated myself, both through MN and outside MN, and am a much more knowledgable person because of it. I also know that I am a raging Lefty. Something that surprised me, given that my upbringing was with a staunchly Tory voting family.

MN has helped me to cope with my health issues, I find MN is the family support network that I didn't have (toxic family) before I joined, and I am much better able to cope because of that.

I am aware of feminism, which I just wasn't before I joined.

YouOldSlag Sun 07-Oct-12 11:30:56

Couthy, what a lovely post. That's really inspiring.

50smellsofshite Sun 07-Oct-12 11:35:17

Soviets = society shock that does change the meaning of the sentence somewhat!

mixedpeel Sun 07-Oct-12 11:53:00

that was a brilliant autopredict, 50smells smile

FangsForBloodyNothing Sun 07-Oct-12 12:51:47

Very funny,*50smells*-just spat tea all over the bed here!For me,it has opened up a whole new world to me.Having accidentally found it through a link on special needs when I was searching the web for info after my sons unexpected diagnosis. I found so much support,help,information ,comfort from others going through the same.I found 'friends' that I think of often but know I will never meet.I no longer feel isolated in rl as I have my little online community to turn to any time of night or day.I am more rounded in my views and feel more confident in myself.I am no longer concerned with what others think of me-I do what I think is right for me and my family.
It is the one good thing that came out of my lovely son being diagnosed with

Lueji Sun 07-Oct-12 13:18:05

You are SO not being unreasonable" (the matter of reasonableness or otherwise had never been raised) and then "oh, BUNFIGHT!"

That's like a secret handshake. If someone else knows what you are talking about, then you know.

AllThatGlistens Sun 07-Oct-12 13:19:53

I have to reiterate almost everything fangs just said. I've lurked here for a loooong time now, initially finding the site after searching for support groups re my DS1's autism diagnosis and have been hooked ever since!

MN makes me laugh, cry, rant out loud (to the amusement of my children) and inspires me. My DH will often roll his eyes and crack a joke about having to prise the iPad off me to get me off Mumsnet, but in the same breath can never resist asking me what the latest 'gossip' is!

I luffs this place.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 13:29:06

has mn changed me?no.why would it
it's a discursive forum online.words on a screen and all that
I enjoy dipping in/out like a face magazine but no not had a significant impact

Lueji Sun 07-Oct-12 13:34:47

Not sure how much MN has changed me.
I was mostly in another forum (not NM) until recently and have learnt a lot about bf, choices for birth and so on. So that I'll happily challenge anyone with strong views.
As in: "the doctors won't let you go past 42 weeks" Erm, what are they going to do, strap you to the bed and extract the child by force???

And I often use MN as a source of statistical data. grin

Plus, through MN I got into OD. smile

More seriously, I had already left twat ex, but feel more able to help a friend married to a classic narsicist.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Oct-12 13:36:16

I think it's ironic that such a judgey forum has made so many posters less judgey grin

I love MN for all its different views - crazy or otherwise.

It's definitely opened my eyes and changed my views on a few things.

However, in RL I thankfully don't see so many MIL haters and Princessy DILs...which again is a good thing considering I have 3 boys.

If I thought all DILs were the way many are portrayed on here, I think I'd run a mile when my DS's tell me they're getting married grin

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 13:38:35

like all things one cannot corroborate I don't completely believe online posts
in essence trust nae fucker
I think on mn people are more yo yo sista and leave the bastard than they'd be in rl

bonzo77 Sun 07-Oct-12 13:48:39

Yanbu. It's opened my eyes, broadened my horizons and supported me through some things. Oh, and made me laugh till I cried.

MN has definitely changed my views on many things.
I joined over 3 years ago now,when I was starting out on the long,dark road that is,having a child with SN.I was welcomed with open arms&offered support&understanding,which was invaluable,both then&now.I still have much to learn but hope to pass on what I can to others just starting out on that road.
I have been educated on feminism in a way I never thought I would,it has definitely made me a stronger woman.Which will help me to raise my girls in a better way,to be more equipped to deal with the world today.
I've laughed,cried & cringed lots over the past few years.
I love MN&am proud to be heregrin

I also love the totally light-heartedness mixed with the utter seriousness of most of the posts on 'active'.
You never know what's going to pop up!!

It has changed my feelings on so many things. I can't give all the credit to MN though as I used to be a member on another forum too.

Oooh you have made 'discussion of the day' brew grin

The SN topic has been such a support to me at times, also had such kind PMs about my MS diagnosis, it touched me beyond words.
I wouldn't say it has changed me though, I always take most things with a big pinch of salt on here, I am a bit less of a strident version of Scottishmunmy I think. Words on a screen.

JugsMcGee Sun 07-Oct-12 14:13:18

I often think "what would they say on AIBU?" and then I know whether I'm BU or
not grin

I am far less judgy now.

Thumbwitch Sun 07-Oct-12 14:37:02

Another one who has changed in the 4+ years I've been on here. I'm far more careful about how I post now, less confrontational (mostly) and have learnt an awful lot about the challenges that other people face in life. It's definitely widened my experience!
But also has been invaluable in terms of offering help and advice, support and comfort when needed.

I've also come across some quite staggering views on here, that make me want to scream! But those are generally in a minority, thankfully!

And yes, it has filtered out into RL too - I am less judgemental about other parents in some situations (and far more in others) - I was always prepared to help out people in need but now perhaps I recognise they're in need a little more often!

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 07-Oct-12 15:46:19

Out of interest, what is the problem with laminate flooring? We have it throughout, in fact worse still we have lino that looks like laminate in two rooms! Allergies in the family you see sad

TrickyBiscuits Sun 07-Oct-12 16:12:54

I no longer make idle chit-chat to pregnant women.


ChangingWoman Sun 07-Oct-12 16:13:26

I wouldn't say it's fundamentally changed me as a person but has had a positive effect.

I think MN has made me more confident about voicing my opinions IRL about gender equality, domestic violence, rape and other issues because I know there are others out there who think the same way as me.

It has also educated me about positive and negative relationships and family dynamics.

Smithson6 Sun 07-Oct-12 16:16:49

sorry- total opposite experience here. I have been pretty shocked at what I have read on here - particularly regarding many posters' attitudes towards authorities and the seeming need to always be "reporting"other people for various perceived slights. Totally bonkers and quite unnerving. Very strange for adults to have such faith in authority figures and to have such an uncritical view of the world IMO.

Herrena Sun 07-Oct-12 16:34:21

I once deliberately did a 3-point turn in a narrow, quiet road rather than using someone's driveway, because I realise how that would drive me nuts if it was my driveway and that they might also have kids around. Wouldn't have occured to me before!

I use 'WTAF' and 'AIBU' in general conversation and gaze for slightly longer than necessary at children glugging fruit shoots I'm wondering what's so awful about them TBH!

It has even changed DH's life - when we bicker he always says 'Mumsnet it and see if I'm right!!' Then when I am proved correct, I claims I didn't phrase the OP properly hmm

It's also an excellent source of advice on just about everything wink

JugglingWithPossibilities Sun 07-Oct-12 16:36:40

I'm much more aware of many issues than I was pre- Mumsnet, and am grateful to all for the education as well as the support and company.

I now have the correct opinion on everything, and actually now run the country through our mighty influence grin from my kitchen table

Wha, Ha, Ha grin

< cackles in sinister way >

blondieminx Sun 07-Oct-12 17:05:54

MN has changed me too.

It's what made becoming a mum happen for me - a poster suggested a possible cause of our difficulty in TTC as my circs were near identical to those experienced by her sister. She kindly posted, I went to the docs and had tests and subsequently medication and we now have DD smile

My years as a MNer have given me laughs and support for all kinds of random issues and while I lurk more than I post, I luffs it here! grin

booki Sun 07-Oct-12 17:20:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flimflammery Sun 07-Oct-12 17:37:34

Just today a friend was saying how her DH has a habit of just disappearing off at the weekends for a few hours without telling her, leaving her with the kids (he has also distanced himself from her in other ways), and sometimes doesn't even take his phone. I immediately asked, does he have a second phone? And had to stop myself from saying, check his phone history, he's probably having an affair. I just recognised all the signs from MN sad

redadmiralsinthegarden Sun 07-Oct-12 17:43:11

i feel more confident through using mumsnet! i have spent 13 years with a fairly controlling man, and as a result was feeling quite low about myself in alot of areas.
since being on mn, though, i have realised that i AM a fundamentally good person, and that i AM a good mum (contrary to what i was told by xh).
i have also become far more nosey concerned about others' issues on here wink.

redadmiralsinthegarden Sun 07-Oct-12 17:43:49

oh and it's really reassuring to know that every other mum struggles sometimes!

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 17:54:15

YY re affairs.

One of my staff at work confided her dh of 10 years had left her out of the blue.

I immediately thought 'other woman'.

He had began to rewrite what she considered to be a happy marriage - 'things hadn't been right for a while'. Finally admitted there was an ow he'd grown close to but 'nothing had happened.'

I said 'Look I know this is all horribly raw for you but the quicker you get your head round the fact that he's been cheating on you and is blaming you and your behaviour because he doesn't want to come out of the marriage looking like the bad guy, the better. It's like a script. It's not you, it's HIM'

I'm afraid frequenting the Relationships board has lead me to conclude most people who suddenly announce they're leaving are being unfaithful.

I often think "what would they say on AIBU?" and then I know whether I'm BU or not grin

Me too Jugs.

MN has given me confidence to challenge racist & sexist comments. It's made me more self-aware and aware of others' behaviour.

I especially love the 'random acts of kindness' threads and now have the confidence to show kindness to people where before (out of shyness) I would have ignored & walked past.

I love MN and wish it had been around when my children were small - I'm convinced I would have been a much better mother if I'd had you all to advise me.

CockyPants Sun 07-Oct-12 18:08:14

I have been trying to spread the gospel according to MN. I am secretary to DDs PTA and had to do a quick spiel to new Year 7 parents. I mentioned a MN thread I'd been following that afternoon about Year 7 kids losing stuff. Result? Tumbleweed silence.
Is MN membership
I've the FMasons? I'm not supposed to mention it?
Please advise!

CockyPants Sun 07-Oct-12 18:09:19

Doh. Is MN membership like the FMasons?

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 18:16:30

someone asked me other day do you mn
mums what? and said nah
I'm struggling to think of a significant impact mn has had....umm none

MoomieAndFreddie Sun 07-Oct-12 18:29:41

YANBU - i have wanted to start a thread like this for ages

LineRunner Sun 07-Oct-12 19:05:39

MN has taken a huge weight of my shoulders, in respect of the feelings I used to harbour about my family members. It's still pretty awful, but thank you.

FellatioNelson Sun 07-Oct-12 19:12:44

I have only read the OP so far but I completely and utterly agree with you.

lljkk Sun 07-Oct-12 19:13:38

Gawd, I can only think of negatives right now. Made me hugely defensive, for start. Assume that everyone is out to JUDGE in the worst way, and has ZERO tolerance for difference. I now understand the concept of "Middle Class" and Ponciness. I was totally blind to all those things 15 years ago. MN has definitely bashed my previous confidence to bits.

mrsminerva Sun 07-Oct-12 19:15:12

MumsNet has reinforced my beliefs TBH. But I am old and know my own mind.

mrsminerva Sun 07-Oct-12 19:15:41

Like to add my beliefs are quite opposed to many here.

FairPhyllis Sun 07-Oct-12 19:24:07

It has educated me a lot about abusive relationships and infidelity and has made me feel more confident about setting my own boundaries in a relationship, like finding porn unacceptable.
I've learned a lot about SN.
I was a feminist before I joined, but now I am edging towards radical feminism and want to be involved in activism.
I have a MN scarf and am careful not to buy mum boots.
I have been truly astonished by the number of people who claim benefits like housing benefit.
I realised that everyone else sneakily reads the DM website too.

FellatioNelson Sun 07-Oct-12 19:26:36

I still have lots of very un-MN opinions though.

lljkk Sun 07-Oct-12 19:35:54

Oh gawd yes, people lie, I've found them out a few times. People who say XYZ online & then I realise I know them IRL or friends of friends know them... and I get such a different story about what the poster really does, feels & thinks.
<<Makes note to self to be even more cynical>>.

mamalovesmojitos Sun 07-Oct-12 19:46:01

YANBU I love mn! It has shaped me as a person. I am better informed, more aware, stronger, less judgy and more confident. It's been a huge influence on my life. I should post more as I get a bit shy (silly) but I've been on the boards for 5 years shock. Amazing women (and men!) on here.

Trills Sun 07-Oct-12 19:46:52

Mumsnet has led me to have opinions about issues that I would not have encountered in the real world. I am better educated and better read and a better feminist as a consequence.

I also know more than necessary about baby led weaning and dragon butter.

Itsgottabebags Sun 07-Oct-12 19:50:58

OP Insania was the name of a Peter Andre song. YBVU to use the word on here ;-)

filetheflightoffancy Sun 07-Oct-12 19:52:12

Absolutely yes to everything on this thread. I had the realisation a few months ago that I had been well and truly Mumsnetted!

aufaniae Sun 07-Oct-12 19:53:58

CockyPants I think there is a feeling that the first rule of mumsnet is that you don't talk about mumsnet!

I think that's partly because people reveal so much personal stuff here, and are scared of being outed.

I do think there's an unspoken understanding also that you'll lay yourself open to misogynist and/or ignorant stereotypes of what a group of mothers would be talking about, from any arseholes around. Sometimes people snigger when they hear the word "mumsnet" (have heard this especially on TV / radio). It's to do with their own suspect attitudes towards women and mothers, and is pretty sad IMO. Also their assumptions of what mumsnet is like are usually so way off the mark as to be laughable!

I don't hide it my mumsnetting, shameless, me wink I tell everyone who they should be on mumsnet. I know some of my mum friends are here ... but they don't talk about it. I've also managed to convince one of my non-mum friends - she loves it and is now telling all her other friends they should join too grin

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 19:56:44

I was kind of the opposite though, I started off happy to talk about these things IRL before MN, and felt I had to adjust because I seemed to be off the wall and unhinged! MN has been great for re-inspiring my spark that I had when younger and has been beaten out by years of talking to the wrong people feeling I was the one in the wrong.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 19:56:55

what are mn opinions?opinions are like arses everyone has em

is it chunterring on about bf til 7yo,boden,schools?that kind of thing

opinion depends on when you log on.during day the housewives will put a different spin on working and nursery ( miss precious moments etc ) then when working mum return it will be more yes do it,here's some tips

BertieBotts Sun 07-Oct-12 19:59:56

There is a bit of a "MN bubble" effect, especially on certain boards.

It's nice but can be a bit of a shock when you come across a thread on the subject in a different section or different website or a conversation in RL!

SheilaWheeler Sun 07-Oct-12 20:00:48

I used 'precious first born' in conversation at the local toddler group, thinking everyone uses it. It seems they don't!

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:02:50

I do think on mn people have a more fierce and/or virtuous stance
I know in rl the same arguments don't rage. less hysteria about mode of feeding
and I don't think folk would be so quick to squawk leave the bastard in rl

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 20:03:27

Was just in the kitchen making a brew and thought that MN is a bit like a dinner party every night. With more interesting guests and varying opinions, of course wink. Plus no need to wash up afterwards.
Yes, I need to get out more.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:17:05

Yes I know Insania is a Peter Andre song and I put it in my OP as I AM HIS BIGGEST FAN <kills thread>

And errr ok scottishmummy, we get it. You think everyone talks shit on here and MN means sod all to you. Which is pretty much your usual stance on any thread.

I think everyone agrees people are more direct, blunt and opinionated on here than they are in RL - that's obvious isn't it? It's t'interweb and it's anonymous.

But that doesn't mean that it hasn't genuinely changed people's views or educated them in important issues such as DV. I know I have learned a lot and I know I am now far more aware and am definitely far more vocal where I see or hear dodgy views.

It also doesn't mean some people view this as a supportive community. And if you read some moving posts on here - it's literally changed some people's lives.

Having been on here has changed me, without at doubt.
I feel more informded about lots of topics, as diverse as good bra fitting and DV.
MN and certain posters without a doubt 'rescued' DS3's and my BF relationship grin.

I don't understand why such sensible shortcuts such as SIL etc are not available to me in RL <harumph>.

However, much as MN deserved credit, advancing middle-age has certainly also contributed in making me more feminist/socialist and less accepting of bullshit.

Yy re interesting dinner party without the washing up - and without the need to look presentable...

whathasschooldonetomybaby Sun 07-Oct-12 20:19:48

mumsnet has been a friend ,soulmate and everything for me right from my pregnancy doubts to fears when DS1 started reception .. i used to search threads which echoed my problems and offered solutions by well experienced /not so experienced wonderful ladies ..this has been a huge help due to the fact that I moved to UK recently and everything (nhs/school system )was new to me ..and with no real friends and family to turn too mumsnet has been a grt support ..thank you again wonderful ladies ...just for being there without even knowing it ..

I use PFB all the time blush.

I sure as hell would not say 'LTB' on the strength of 5 sentences in RL, nor would I on here, but I would not hesitate to suggest that a long, hard look at the relationship might be in order, in RL or here.

Anyone else recommend MN to random people, thereby completely outing themselves as a viper??

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:21:27

youre touchy op was I supposed to fawn over your post?
lol at the reprimand mn hasn't taught you online manners has it
someone disagrees, and well you live with it.not good form to do the yea whateva

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:22:12

No I never recommend or talk about it to any friends - my dh and dc know I'm a Mumsnetter but no-one else. That's because a) Daily Fail and other media make it sound like a hotbed of raging Boden-wearing breast feeding harpies and b) I don't want any of my friends or family on here!

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:23:10


ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 20:26:24

I have a RL friend who told me that MN was full of mad women who had no friends and just wanted to say horrid things to each other. She said this knowing I use it, and then said "but I suppose if you have no one else to talk to you use whatever support you can get". I am a single mum, it's not that I have no friends BTW.

With RL friends like these... wink

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:28:14

I think the name Mumsnet is offputting tbh. It sounds, well, mumsy.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:30:10

op if you're going to paraphrase me,get it right.don't invent to suit your post
where have I said folk talk shite?um nowhere.I said it's like a mag I dip in/out of
no mn hasn't significantly changed me,or shaped opinions.and that doesn't diminish my experience or pov in anyway

Viperidae Sun 07-Oct-12 20:31:37

I agree OP. I have been fortunate enough to lead a very uneventful life with enough money to get by on and MN has broadened my horizons dramatically. I am now shocked at opinions expressed by RL friends about benefits, sexuality, relationships, etc and am do surprise them a different point of view at times.

Some friends know I am on here but I never recommend it to anyone and namechange if I feel there is a chance of being spotted.

Himalaya Sun 07-Oct-12 20:32:06

I'm much less productive.

aufaniae Sun 07-Oct-12 20:34:28

Ah, but that says more about narrow-minded people than us.

We really are mums (well lots of us are anyway!) not someone's idea of what mums are like IYSWIM.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:34:38

Pacific - yes a dinner party with no washing up, but equally one with no wine <opens wine>

YouMayLogOut Sun 07-Oct-12 20:35:58

I'm exactly the same as before.


Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:36:04

aufaniae - I agree but I do think some people think it's a site only for mums (which of course it's not) and mums that only talk about being mums. And parenting issues.

I have at times idly wondered about another name, but nought sprang to mind... 'Parentsnet' is just clumsy and it is not just for parents; see Gransnet and all the CMs/nannis on here.

Surely MN HQ will have thought about this too and will have decided to protect their 'brand', I expect.

My DH came this close to post something last night - winewinewine had been taking though, so I am not sure that counts hmmgrin

iloveberries Sun 07-Oct-12 20:36:38

MN has made me realise:
* not everyone conceives just by sniffing their partners pants (a phrase nicked off another mumsnetter)....( Just my RL friends.)
* it's ok to only have people in your life who make you feel good. Some relationships aren't worth working at.
* women are friggin awesome.
* my dh is bloody amazing.
* I was a right twat when I first started mumsnetting. Limited compassion and very ignorant. I try every day to be better!

whistlestopcafe Sun 07-Oct-12 20:43:42

I know absolutely what you mean!

I'm definitely more opinionated and far less tolerant. That's not great really is it? grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Sun 07-Oct-12 20:47:12

Ooh, I wish I'd bought that sloe gin I was tempted by in Sainsbos the other day ... pour us a wine would you Proud
YY to "women are friggin awesome" berries smile

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:49:35

I've got loads of booze in as had a houseful of pissheads people round today. Help yourself Juggling wine

It has changed me smile I feel more able to stand up for myself, i have more confidence, i know i make mistakes and can take being ripped into for them, and apologise easily too, whereas before i would have argued my point to the death.

I feel like i have a lot of friends, that i have never met smile

And if it wasn't for MN i would have given up BFing DS2 and had an undiagnosed TT baby which would have affected his speech.. Both would have devastated me.

The support on here is fab.. the speed in which someone always answers posts is awesome.. even if it's 'i can't help but didn't want your post to go unanswered'

Back2Two Sun 07-Oct-12 21:00:39

scottishmummy're not exactly someone to be easily swayed from her views are you? That's why it hasn't changed you. But you're here and you're a part of it.

It's like you can't even admit it's good.

And I disagree that if you post during the Day you're gonna gets loads of Boden wearing homework knitting women who thing being a stay at home mum is the best thing since crocheted bread. I think the SAHM and Wahm stereotypes are one of the worst, most devisive and generalised issues here on mumsnet.

Changebagsandgladrags Sun 07-Oct-12 21:10:45

I left work, spent two years mumsnetting looking after the kids and then went back to work, in the same job at the same place.

I was well known for being a bit of a mouse.

My team (equals) now say I am intimidating. My boss told them all they need to be more assertive. He told me I should soften my approach.

I have actually become a viper...

maillotjaune Sun 07-Oct-12 21:14:38

Am I changed? Not sure - educated on just how diverse people's views are on just about every topic, however uncontroversial I thought it was, definitely. Shocked at just how divisive the SAHM/WOHM debates are, in particular. Most of my friends work at least part time and none of them agonises about it particularly.

I think mn has replaced my old habit of shouting at the TV when the news was on. It's much better, sometimes you even get a reply grin.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 21:24:27

I enjoy mn,I participate at level that suits me.Not significantly changed though
we all chose the fit,and our preferences. what works for us,what feels safe
mn has diversity of posts,and it is humbling,funny,infuriating.that's the point

mulranno Sun 07-Oct-12 21:43:01

I now dont feel that I have to churn a problem over and over in my head - I know that I can come here and get a myraid of views to fast-track my decision making - which is really stress relieving.

I frequently experience a whole range of emotions - I howl with laughter at the wit on here - and I have wept at some threads.

It has been an incredible emotional outlet - one that I dnt have in RL as am always the giver.

AIBU - just that phrase is genius - has given me the vocabulary and confidence to know that I am often NU and has stoped me ftin ad obsessing over nuanced situations.

Trills Sun 07-Oct-12 21:43:53

I participate at level that suits me.


Plus I like "wordsonnascreen" as a way to say "chillax"

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 21:47:03

Actually yes bloody good point re the wit mulranno - I frequently piss myself laughing on here.

That's valuable too, finding a site with lots of very very funny women. And men but not as much.

innercontentment Sun 07-Oct-12 21:56:14

I haven't posted before so I couldn't even remember my own mumsnet name!
My name sums it up quite nicely.
Mumsnet has given me a quite contentment with my life.
The list of subtle and not so subtle changes is too long for a first post.
In the two years that I have lurked on theses boards, I have left a damaging relationship, lost 30kg of weight (size 18 to 12), acquired at least 10 pairs of skinny jeans(never wore one before) and binned my waterfall cardigans and mumboots.
In truth, it hasnt changed the fundamental me, it has just given me clarity about life which I needed.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 21:59:18

mumboots,what are they then
sounds bit frumpy
jones nootmaker have some great boots at mo

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:03:02

Hello innercontentment. You literally haven't posted in two years? God I am far more of a gobshite less restrained than you! I am scared of mumboots and am praying I don't own a pair...I do have some Victoriana-ish lace up boots....? Gulp.

I know about Extended Rear Facing now, and I also feel much more confident in my abilities to argue my opinion. I do like to provide the opposite to any inflamatory opinions, just to raise a debate more than anything and MN has given me the confidence to do so.

I would like to be less judgy, however I do still do hmm face at older children in buggies and with dummies blush

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 22:11:28

Extended Rear Facing? Oh god, what have I missed?
Mumboots are a bit of a sore subject for me, they appear to be women's chelsea boots, which I love. sad
Usually paired in sin with bootcut jeans.
Which I also love. sad

AnyFucker Sun 07-Oct-12 22:13:17

MN, and the friends I have made here, have had a profound effect on me and I am not ashamed to say so

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:13:55

Oh dear, yes a chelsea boots and boot cut jeans* combo is quite bad Insanity. Sorry.

*Though I hear boot cuts are trending again

Flumpyflumps Sun 07-Oct-12 22:16:14

I'm a bit of a newbie at MN and have basically changed everything in the last month due to top MN advice, the organising threads have helped me no end. I don't cope with being out o control well and have recently come off my AD.
As a recent post said, we dont always have it all but we sure do it all! So the meal planning, night before routine and military precision timings help a lot.

I am fully converted and slightly addicted to MN.
Love it.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:16:54

Actually AF, I remember being shock and angry at your 'leave the bastard' posts years ago. I just didn't understand or recognise red flags and EA then or why people were so quick to urge posters to get out of their relationships. I do (most of the time!!) now.

SundaeGirl Sun 07-Oct-12 22:20:13

MN feels like the closest thing to having a sister, which is what in RL I'd really love to have.

I've really appreciated it so many times, especially the 24/7ness. I feel very at home here and MN has played a huge part in the wallpaper of my becoming and being a parent. I'm really 'very Mumsnet'.

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 22:20:43

Yes AF you rightly denounced my ex on here (diff user name) and the thread really turned my views on what were happening upside down. I started asking the right questions and realised I had been completely naive in some areas he was pulling my chain in. I really am not a naive person, so the straight talking did me a huge favour thanks

AnyFucker Sun 07-Oct-12 22:20:47

I don't say "LTB" to everybody, contrary to popular belief smile

I think when you have been on MN long enough though, you get to recognise the script in certain scenarios and it is quite clear to an outsider exactly how events are going to unfold.

Flumpyflumps Sun 07-Oct-12 22:22:53

Also meant to mention the tears of laughter at some threads, also a good thing when coming off medication and/or RL is just getting you down.

kim147 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:23:19

It's opened my eyes up to how difficult some people's lives and relationships are. Some people's situations are so awful and it makes me realise how lucky I am even when life gets hard.

It's made me far more aware of feminism and sexist behaviour.

It's also made me realise how bloody helpful and kind many people can be to other people they've not meant.

Not sure what to make of the trolls though.

kim147 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:23:30

met - not meant

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:23:31

Yeah I know you don't AF, 'LTB' is shorthand for you urging posters to get out of abusive relationships. My thing has always been 'stay together for the kids' because of my experience of divorce (my parents). That coloured and prejudiced my view and MN has opened my eyes and my mind. And YY to the script.

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 22:23:33

We just need a campfire, guitar and someone (strong lead female please) to lead us in a round of kumbayaaaahhhh!

Pass us the wine OP smile

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:25:21

Here ya go wine <wonders whether to throw in a few mooncups too>

kim147 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:27:15

I really have to stop myself saying DS on other forums though. And I've been caught out doing the MN link code "[[ ]]" by accident on other forums.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 22:27:27

no mn doesn't need a mooncup wearing hippy singing kumbyyah fireside
what a chilling thought
mn works well because it's not too gushy,and luffs ya sparkly shite either

AnyFucker Sun 07-Oct-12 22:27:51

Since joining MN, I have made more sense of some of the events that have happened in my life. My difficult relationship with an emotionally abusive father, how my mother chose her relationship over her children, the bad choices I made as a teenager/young adult and forgiven myself for much of it. That is a good thing.

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:31:30

God I'm totally with you there, scottishmummy.

I try to do all manner of Mumsnet links/converts at work, kim.

AnyFucker Sun 07-Oct-12 22:33:45

one thing MN hasn't converted me into is mooncups

what in God's name are they ?

I don't know anyone that uses them, and have never seen them on sale. They are a MN myth, I am sure of it smile

Flumpyflumps Sun 07-Oct-12 22:35:28

I've just remembered the post that made me sign up, funniest thing I'd read in about a zillion years... The one about the taxi queue and how the OP felt families should go first, the scoring system for taxi queues pops into my head every time I'm waiting for one, or a bus, train etc.

Literally every day since I've had a chuckle to self, thanks to MN

Coralanne Sun 07-Oct-12 22:37:33

Didn't think it had changed me at all. Usually just bowse when I haven't anything better to do.

Yesterday was my birthday and nephew's DW sent me a birthday message via facebook. (I had seen them the day before and they gave me a lovely gift).

I sent back a message.

"Thankyou, Having a lovely lunch with your MIL" blush

AnyFucker Sun 07-Oct-12 22:37:39

yeah, that was a good 'un

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 22:37:41

Yes, I was joking.
For me MN is somewhere you can find someone to talk about anything. And at a pace where you can read when the kids are in bed rather than running riot while you are trying to chat about things with friends IRL.
Again, I clearly need to get out more.
I love the variety of topics too. No one else I know in my close friends has lost their mother and I am the only single mum in our group. It is lovely to come on here and get advice on anything and feel I can keep up sometimes feels like everyone else's parents are constantly on hand to babysit/buy clothes/give advice on sleeping etc I turn to MN instead as I don't have that resource, so I understand your post about closest thing to sisters smile

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 22:39:18

Oh god, I remember one of the first threads I read was about a woman who removed her own piles. That was a baptism of fire shock

AnyFucker Sun 07-Oct-12 22:39:19

aw, I don't have my mum either (for different reasons), ATOI

MN is great for that

MrsDeVere Sun 07-Oct-12 22:40:22

MN gives me somewhere to talk. I dont get much of a chance to do that in RL and I find it easier to articulate my thoughts if I can type them.

It has made me a bit shock at the amount of people who live in a very protected bubble and do not have a clue a. that they do or b. that they might not be as safe as they imagine.

It gives me a chance to chat to people I wouldnt necessarily meet in RL and learn about things completely out of my experience e.g. boarding schools, private education, big posh houses grin

I get to talk about DD whenever I want and no one tells me not to. That alone is worth being a member.

I KNEW I had been mumsnutted when I was in Sainsbury's last year and challenged someone who was being nasty about a mum with a fractious toddler and trying to get the rest of the queue to join in. I told her 'I think commenting on other people's parenting is unkind and unpleasant' she replied 'well she cant hear me' and I said 'I dont care, its not nice, stop doing it' AND remained perfectly calm! (I may have the wording slightly wrong but it was along those lines).

I would never have done that before. i would have muttered something or blown up at her. I of course came straight back and started a thread about it!

MN drives me nuts and I know its just a website so I get what SM is talking about.
But because of my particular circumstances I have have had a pretty limited RL since I joined and it has been a big part of my life.

BertieBotts Sun 07-Oct-12 22:44:08

MN is definitely like having loads of virtual sisters.

Always there for you when you need it but by god, if you rub them the wrong way they can give it back grin

<sends mooncup converting vibes to AF>

As SundaeGirl said- "MN feels like the closest thing to having a sister, which is what in RL I'd really love to have."
This is exactly how I feel too. I sometimes feel I spend too long on MN, but actually, the amount I have learnt, been supported and advised on, given advice, laughed, cried, etc has truly enriched my life in a different way to the RL friends I have.

I have learnt to not be so tolerant of certain people's selfish behaviour in RL but it has also given me a lot more understanding and awareness of how tough life can be for others.

scottishmummy Sun 07-Oct-12 22:45:07

mn can be v humbling,the things people share,stuff they've experienced.sad too
trick imo is use it in a way that works, and be online savvy
I post and participate in way that suits me. it's a whatever floats yer boat site

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 22:46:02

MrsDV - I know your circumstances and history (well some of it). You are one of the few posters I remember. I totally empathise with your supermarket story - that pretty much sums up the way I've changed since being on here. I call out prejudice and intolerance way more - but I hope in a measured, calm, adult way.

innercontentment Sun 07-Oct-12 23:00:50

hello proudnscary,
I don't post at all, because on the boards I frequent (primary education and style & beauty), I have a lot to learn and little to contribute.
Yesterday, I googled "mumsnet violin for beginners" and the hits from this search was going to form the basis of my decisions about which violin to get my little girl, whether to get it and when to get it.
I will speak to the music teacher too, but this is how serious I take the views of the mums here!
Simple and straight to the point real life advice from people who have been there.
With a few controverisal outliers who can usually be spotted from afar and ignored.
There are so many kind people here who give so much of their time.
I have been educated and amused in equal measure, and I thank the thousands who spend thier time and make these boards what they are to the masses of "invincible" women (and men).
Back to lurking!

Proudnscary Sun 07-Oct-12 23:09:32

Oh don't go back to lurking - join in, it will make your experience even more valuable, inner...and like fuck have you 'little to contribute'!

nocluenoclueatall Sun 07-Oct-12 23:14:03

I think it must have done. Last week I chased a taxi up a street after he'd made an illegal left turn through a set of traffic lights, narrowly missing a toddler (mine), rapped on his window and gave him a very sound talking to.

Not sure I'd have done such a thing before, I was very much a mind yer own beeswax kind of a gal. I think getting so riled reading thread after thread of wankerish behaviour had my goat so gotten that it didn't take much to snap.

Bloody glad I did too. Woe betide the next homicidal numpty to cross my path...

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 07-Oct-12 23:14:32

inter maybe a post a day will keep ProudandScary at bay wink
I keep on thinking Proud's MN name sounds like a really large fart and Inter your's sounds like a little cocktail fart trying to be clenched in by buttocks.
I digress. It's past my bed time. Night.

garlicbutty Mon 08-Oct-12 00:42:38

Oh, this thread's a relief grin It's reminded me of my incredulous joy when I discovered an oasis of women who are even more bolshy outspoken, nitpicking perceptive and lefty socially aware than I considered myself to be. And reassured me that I'm not the only one sacrificing useful (but far less interesting) real-life time to Mumsnet!

From the first page: more tolerant, less judgey, more arsey with intolerant judgey people in rl - yep! I was trying to think of a better way to say "more intolerant of intolerance" and that's it.

Plus what MmeOvary said smile Not sure I could have done without the therapy, but Mumsnet added a helluva lot of power. You're all fantastic!

TroublesomeEx Mon 08-Oct-12 03:47:34

Just thought I'd add.

I had a thread on here several months ago in which I (under a namechange) discussed a really serious family problem.

The verdict was unanimous.

Yes there were some posts that were a bit, um, less helpful - I too don't believe everything I read written by strangers on a screen. wink

But I had some PMs and some very open responses which made it very clear in my mind.

I made a huge lifechanging decision about something I couldn't discuss in RL for a number of reasons.

I have you ladies to thank everyday that my life is better because of it.


Hmm.....well, I probably would have done a whole lot of changing anyhow, being what, 17 when I joined properly. I think probably what changed me the most and bumped my confidence, built me up a bit was my lovely sixth form, which was such a huge change from my secondary school (hellhole). I can talk to my parents about whatever I want the same way I talk on MN. Honestly, when I was 13 I joined an internet forum and was amazed at how seriously people took me on there, and liked me, and so realised I couldn't post ridiculous things because people were actually reading them- so I expect if I hadn't had that, MN would have been the training ground instead. The forum kind of died, so I guess I kind of "graduated" to here, where there are 100x more people and you're most of you older than me. I still do post ridiculous stuff, specially in the feminist board at first (people coming down on me like a ton of bricks because I dared suggest that misandry was alive and kicking).....but I think it's getting a leetle scarcer smile sooo.....thanks MN.

Oh and I've gone from thinking how lovely Steiner schools sound to developing a kind of morbid fascination with them....thanks search function!

porcamiseria Mon 08-Oct-12 06:39:43

i have atually seriously considered getting a mooncup!!! but nah cant face washing it in the sinks at the loos at work !!

def agree, especially on feminism

since joining here i am more outspoken, have sent out that page 3 link and I rankle when I watch Italian TV

and yes have also nearly said SIL/BIL et al

I was also very touched by the support I got, on two specific issues

I am also way more careful and senstitive when I post now

Proudnscary Mon 08-Oct-12 07:16:31

I sound like a big fart?? How very DARE you, Insanity! <flounces> <returns immediately>

Yes, I totally agree with the general consensus of 'I am more judgy/I am less judgy' since being on MN.

It's amazing how many people are saying the same thing on here. I did think it might just be me who had the MN jury in their heads most of the time!

I also agree with posters who say their writing style and responses on here have softened. Mine definitely have. Maybe that's because once you've been here a while you will have undoubtedly got much-needed support, even in the littlest way, at some point and so you want to be more helpful to other posters though still verbally kicking the arse of the more stupid/offensive/precious ones...that ain't never gonna change. And because it's such a big site sometimes you have to 'shout' to have your voice heard at first.

SomeTosser Mon 08-Oct-12 08:12:29

I looked around for a gavel today whilst in the midst of a humourous disagreement with dp. Not finding one, I announced "GAVEL!" and gave a decisive nod.
Dp then asks "EB?" "No," I replied, "mumsnet."

Mn is a wonderful place that allows me to something more interesting with my time than vacuuming, or organising the larder.

ChrissasMissis Mon 08-Oct-12 09:48:46

YANBU. I completely agree and was mulling this thought over myself the other day. I really feel that Mumsnet fulfils the role that extended family used to. By that, I mean women used to learn how to "mother" from being around family and friends with children, which happens less these days. Mumsnet provides the knowledge, advice and support that our Mum, Aunts, Cousins etc...used to give.

whattodoo Mon 08-Oct-12 11:29:31

I sometimes wonder if I rely on MN too much.

I know for a fact that I spend too long on here, which invalidates my arguments with DP about the time he spends mucking about with his hobbies vs the 'quality time' he spends with me.

I definitely think twice about fashion decisions if I've read on here that they are not 'MN' eg laminate floors, twigs n shit, etc.

But I am hugely more confident in my own views, and will express them rather than keep them to myself as I would have pre-MN.

I am far more aware of the different lives people live, the issues they face, the decisions they make and the impact they can have. I am less judgy, that's for sure.

And I am guilty of using MN speak. My DP referred to our daughter as 'DD' the other week and I have been pondering ever since whether he's heard me use the term or whether he is stalking me on MN (he knows my password).

And if ever I need a quick pick me up, I reach for MN rather than wine or choc (that's a lie, by the way. I reach for all three at the same time).

ClippedPhoenix Mon 08-Oct-12 11:44:04

I have become a staunch feminist in lots of respects since being on here.

I also have to bite my tounge/soften this with a lot of friends in real life though unless I've had a few glasses of pinot

My relationship with my partner has changed beyond recognition to what it was a year or so ago because I take no shit whatsoever!

I have the tools to express myself very well indeed now grin

Cheers to mumsnet!

Mumsnet has given me the courage of my own convictions. Before MN, I had gut instincts/feelings/the idea that... but always doubted myself. Sharing views with other people and pitching my own views against others has given me the faith to believe that actually sometimes I am right/do know best, and I trust my own judgement better now.

It has also shown me that whatever problems you have, someone else has worse and that with support, you will get through it.

I have learned a lot about my relationship with my mother and how that shaped my teenage years and took my confidence away. More importantly it has helped me to find ways to deal with it.

And I now know it's ok to feel like this hmm about vases of twigs and pebbly shit.


Proudnscary Mon 08-Oct-12 13:41:21

Oh fucksocks. I have a vase of twigs in my living room - they are huge branchy, kitch things sprayed in gold with birds on them and shit and there are pebbles at the bottom of the vase.

<fucks off to netmums>

<whispers> Proud I think it might be ok if the living room is painted with a sludgy coloured Farrow & Ball and you don't have wooden foot high letters spelling EAT or BATHE in the kitchen and bathroom

Anniegetyourgun Mon 08-Oct-12 14:22:15

Mumsnet has made me a more confident householder because now I know exactly what to do in the event of zombie attacks. You don't get that from any other parenting site though I think the zombies may run some of them

BrainSurgeon Mon 08-Oct-12 14:29:53

YANBU at all - I feel the same.

scottishmummy aren't you protesting a wee bit too much? wink

BrainSurgeon Mon 08-Oct-12 14:31:38

Oh Annie how could I forget - that too! grin

KitCat26 Mon 08-Oct-12 15:10:02

OP, definitely. Been on here for four or five years now and its broadened my horizons, I'm less quick to judge jump to conclusions and enlightened me on subjects that I have never encountered in real life.

Also I am much more confident at challenging my mother's ridiculous views and have greater expectations from my DH than my mum has from my dad.

Still got my vase of pebbles though! <Ooo the shame>

Latara Mon 08-Oct-12 16:57:08

I don't have a DH or DCs, only looked on Mumsnet out of curiosity after the media called the last General Election ''a Mumsnet Election'' - i clicked onto AIBU straight away by accident & got hooked!

Was pleased to know you aren't all mums either because i was a bit worried about that - i didn't want to stop browsing Mumsnet when i found i enjoyed reading the politics & feminism threads, & style and beauty, Chat etc etc...

I thought ''oh my god there are other women who are feminists! & interested in politics! as well as moisturiser! & they swear! & you don't have to be a mum too! Excellent!!'' so i joined & mainly end up on AIBU, only namechanged a couple of times.

I do have several vases of pebbles though. Mainly ones i found on the beach. And shells, ditto. And photos of me (but with my friends, family & er, cat)....
And i definitely was shocked to hear about mooncups (sorry not a convert there yet...). But have learnt a lot of stuff in general on MN.

I've changed by getting less angry & frustrated in RL because i can express my opinions & argue with others on topics that no-one in my RL discusses.

Also if i do (hopefully) have children then i will know where to look for good advice. Anyway gotta finish my brew smile

Latara Mon 08-Oct-12 17:00:39

I love being able to do this: brew symbol and these symbols wine & [flowers] & then more of these brew smile

bossboggle Mon 08-Oct-12 17:01:22

I'm a full time carer to my DC - MN is brilliant as it keeps me in touch with other people and if I have a problem I post on here and usually get some good advice back - it is brilliant - long may it continue!! Thank you!!

I'm a much better informed feminist than I was, I can recognise far more relationship red flags, and I'm less likely to judge (mostly). And I'm the proud owner of a mooncup grin

booki Mon 08-Oct-12 17:51:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spookytoo Mon 08-Oct-12 18:26:11

OP, I luff mumsnet too, in fact probably too much as I am never off the damn thing.

Someone posted asking for help at 2am the other night (I am overseas) - it made me tearful just reading it, poor poster alone and upset at 2am, but mumsnetters came on with support and advice - I mean where else would you ever get that?

scottishmummy Mon 08-Oct-12 18:43:39

bs I engage in mn on level that suits me,how I chose to post,and what I post
it's not compulsory to find enrichment,or fink everyone is luffly,or change
I think people big up opinions on mn..crowd mentality,and anonymity effect eg LTB

spookytoo Mon 08-Oct-12 19:30:44

*bs I engage in mn on level that suits me,how I chose to post,and what I post it's not compulsory to find enrichment,or fink everyone is luffly,or change
I think people big up opinions on mn..crowd mentality,and anonymity effect eg LTB *

Hear, hear. But the anonymity is a great thing. I got honest free advice on the legal threads about stuff I would have been wary of others finding out about if I'd asked in RL.

GeekLove Mon 08-Oct-12 21:09:55

Don't worry about the twigs - I am STILL going to laminate the lounge - mainly because I am fed up with the dust from carpets. When I traded my museam piece vac for a cyclone the number of colds the DS's got went down noticeably.

As for me:

Mumsnet has encourage me to be more of an activist:

I am going to the protest against cuts on the 20th:

I have joined a local feminist group

I have become a STEM ambassidor

I have re-started my old Blog

I am much more likely to pick on people being misogynistic and generally UN-PC.
My tolerance for bullshit is even lower - eg I will delete people from FB for using racist/sectarian language without a word.

feralgirl Mon 08-Oct-12 21:52:43

Yep, less judgey (or likely to think harder before judging or at least less likely to voice my most judgey opinions) I do have a little voice in my head that says "but what would MN say...?" that helps me rationalise my most judgey instincts.

I'm very leftie anyway but much less likely to tolerate that sort of stupid tongue in cheek racism and sexism that people do in an ironic-I'm-not-racist-so-it's-alright-to say-paki kind of a way.

I had a real hatred of emoticons before MN, now I love them (esp hmm)

And I would probably never have got a mooncup if it hadn't been for MN. Love the mooncup.

baskingseals Mon 08-Oct-12 22:04:49

mumsnet has made me more confident. more able to be honest about the way i feel.

it is <finally> okay to be me, and mumsnet has helped me get there.

BrainSurgeon Mon 08-Oct-12 22:06:10

<scratches head> Crowd mentality huh?
This is such a diverse place I would hardly call it a crowd
But hey who am I to judge wink

BrainSurgeon Mon 08-Oct-12 22:11:24

One of my favourite things about MN is that it is "intolerant to intolerance" as I call it.

Beveridge Mon 08-Oct-12 22:46:11

My pregnant cousin texted me "Netmums or mumsnet?" a few months ago - sent her a reply which boiled down to 'MN - for evidence-based information, banter and bunfights'. grin

I wouldn't say it's changed me as a person but it's definitely influenced my parenting techniques - breastfeeding (4 years continuously and counting), babywearing,babyled weaning, rear-facing car seats till 4, co-sleeping, etc., avoidance of fruit shoots (!). And it has given me the evidence to justify those decisions to the inlaws!

(Not that I have to justify my parenting of course but I do find that quoting WHO guidelines or the UNICEF Bradford sleep study settles a lot of issues quite quickly!)

PrincessSymbian Mon 08-Oct-12 23:36:53

This thread is great! Yes it has changed me, I would still be limping along like a wounded bird in a marriage that was making me miserable without it. And I would be a lot less savvy about men waving red flags too!
Blondie, your story was fab and touching and heart warming!

Proudnscary Tue 09-Oct-12 07:08:27

Geek - go for it sista, laminate and be proud! <wonders if Mumsnet can ever know about my criminal Christmas plans including wooden bowls of pine cones>

Feral - YY! That is another one. The 'it's OK to say racist remarks if you're not really a racist' thing. I have a very funny friend who is so quick witted, she makes you weep with laughter and she often uses the work Paki in an ironic way (yes it really is ironic, she's not racist) but now it makes me itchy and I have to challenge it or give her a hmm look. It just isn't acceptable, even as a 'joke'.

amillionyears Tue 09-Oct-12 09:41:19

I find it very sad that MN has not changed sm in any ways.
Things must have happened to you to make you that way,and that is sad.

Latara Tue 09-Oct-12 10:23:54

scottishmummy - by opinions i mean i feel able to express opinions here; even if people here disagree.

In RL, i have lovely friends, (mostly) nice colleagues, supportive family & good neighbours etc but none of them are interested in talking about issues like current affairs, feminism & politics; they don't like debate & do all have quite different opinions to me; so i can get quite frustrated by that.

I really enjoy debate, also i'm learning to listen more to others' opinions on here which is a useful skill for me to learn because in RL i'm rubbish at slowing down enough to listen to other people.

UptoapointLordCopper Tue 09-Oct-12 10:25:20

MN has the best emoticons. smile

And in my head mooncup is manufactured by MN. grin Best ever invention.

BatwingGirl Tue 09-Oct-12 10:27:57

Mumsnet is the only place on earth where everyone makes sense.

BatwingGirl Tue 09-Oct-12 10:33:21

Today Mumsnet saved me from having to wake DH up and argue with him. Just because it felt like I want to let rip about my life, lack of work, lack of money, the mess, the mess, the mess!. Instead I looked through some threads, realised I'm not the only one who hates a messy house and the drudgery of motherhood, and instead I have had a nice break with a cuppa tea and feel on top of the world again.

LittenTree Tue 09-Oct-12 11:07:12

MN hasn't changed me as such but it has opened my eyes in both good and bad ways to the Nature Of People!

I largely use MN for advice (like Chemistry h/w!), but also for insight about handling child related issues. I tend only to respond to others if I can help or add insight myself, but I read a lot of posts and feel amazed and- dare I say?- a bit, well, 'disappointed' at how so many people, obviously largely women (being MN an'all) seem to fail to take any type of control or responsibility over their lives and futures. So many of us come across like corks bobbing around in an ocean not of our making or choosing. However, even this has 'helped' me understand why some things are the way they are; like why there are so many unplanned babies around! I was genuinely shocked at the huge numbers of people on one thread about whether one had ever had unprotected sex on a one night stand, who not only had but who ridiculed those (like me!) who wouldn't dream of having any 'unprotected' sex unless TTC! It made me see that a lot of women have a far more relaxed attitude to casually conceived DC than I have, for instance; and how many unplanned, unaffordable and now fatherless 'accidents' are regarded as 'a gift'...

I have, on a few occasions, been accused of 'snobbery' because of this view...!

oohlaalaa Tue 09-Oct-12 12:09:00

Perhaps it's changed some of my views, on the plus. On the negative, it's also made me less productive....

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Tue 09-Oct-12 12:52:22

I'm spent the past few days trying to find a less cliched way to say it... but MN has made me feel much more confident and empowered, and less alone and unable to supress my sniggers whenever a RL friend gives her DC pombears or a fruitshoot

BoerWarKids Tue 09-Oct-12 14:14:26

Been here about 4 years, under various names. I love it. I've only ever felt supported.

I grew up in a Tory-voting, DM-reading family and seem to have a similar RL circle. MN is like a breath of fresh air for feminism, politics and considered, nuanced views.

I don't even feel left out not being a mum! This site has grown to be so much more than just parenting.

Proudnscary Tue 09-Oct-12 15:10:02

Boer - parenting advice/issues is the absolute least thing I come on here for. I'm on here for the larfs and the bunfights and the eductation and the support and the interesting political/newsy discussions...

Oblomov Tue 09-Oct-12 16:02:12

Been here 8 years.
MN sure has changed me. I had no idea that people had such polar opposite views to me, until I came on MN.
I have been TOTALLY supported and helped, through an awful lot, on MN.
MN has helped Me. ALOT. smile

nemno Tue 09-Oct-12 16:03:20

Actually I'm a bit sad that I've found MN. It has changed me, no doubt. Some of it is probably in a good way. But because I am a bit of a loner my eyes have been opened as to how awful people really can be. The selfishness so often outlined here makes me despair actually. There are lovely people on here, don't get me wrong, but wanky behaviour is so much more common than I thought that it doesn't make up for it.

And I feel uneasy to chat with strangers in RL because I now know how misinterpreted I might be.

JugglingWithPossibilities Tue 09-Oct-12 16:07:48

Ahh, nemno, don't despair - try to remember the nice people ? Maybe MN isn't for you though if it's not added to the sum of your happiness ? Can you un-find us ? smile

gettingeasier Tue 09-Oct-12 16:37:32

I posted early on and have been thinking more about MN and its effects

It appeals to my voyeuristic side I love threads where people behave in ways that are so amusing eg the AIBU to have paid half a taxi fare and provoke some hilarious responses. Or those about outrageous behaviour from friends eg will you pick up my child every day this term for nothing in return ?

More seriously though I found MN 6 months after xh left for his ow and it helped me process everything much more efficiently and I was on a support thread for others in that position. In RL life I didnt know anyone this had happened to so to talk to others who understood made a huge difference

I think there are all sorts of support networks on MN which may not change people but do provide so much for them

Proudnscary Tue 09-Oct-12 16:51:22

You mean like a middle class true life magazine, gettingeasier? wink

grin at 'middle class true life magazine' Proud

Less 'Take a Break' more 'Latte Life'

Kernowgal Tue 09-Oct-12 19:21:44

MN helped me find the courage to leave an abusive relationship.

It also educated me on red flags in a relationship (ohhhh there were many, once I'd opened my eyes) and what a proper relationship should be like.

I am forever grateful for that, because now I know what I will and won't put up with from a partner, and I'm not going to settle for being thrown scraps when I should be up at the table eating like a queen smile

Kernowgal Tue 09-Oct-12 19:22:17

You also made me laugh till tears rolled down my face with "50 Shades of Mumsnet".

scottishmummy Tue 09-Oct-12 19:43:56

oh spare me the dr crane analysis of my mn usage
do feel sad for the vulnerable,and Ill treated in's hard world for them
don't feel sorry about how a stranger uses an online forum. ps do you feel sad fir the others who say theyre unchanged or just charity case me?

CheerfulYank Tue 09-Oct-12 22:38:40

Well, as a Yank who's never been out of North America in my life, it's changed my worldview a lot, I think.

Proudnscary Wed 10-Oct-12 00:10:05

Good lord someone has been desperately spoiling for a fight over this whole thread but I'm genuinely baffled about the motivation/provocation.

Cheerful - right so you think the rest of the world is full of outspoken, drunken, profane, anti buggy/forward facing car seat/fruit shoot/formula feeding obsessed maniacs? wink

CheerfulYank Wed 10-Oct-12 00:20:00

Why yes. Yes I do. wink

It is funny, the words and phrases I've picked up. I was just at a baby shower recently and a friend's husband (originally from the UK) said "is this Angel Delight?" and I said "no, fruit dip" while the rest of the guests were asking "What's angel delight?" in baffled tones. grin

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 00:27:27

Just you sm.

garlicbutty Wed 10-Oct-12 01:21:26

grin million

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 06:46:00

mn hasn't significantly changed what? doesn't negate my experience
I've always approached mn as words on a screen
it's like a fave mag... horse and hound

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 06:52:52

op I think you're reading a different thread,where is this desperation for scrap
I can't see any spoiling for fight anywhere it's all I luffs mn and smile
and despite you being op you've not got editorial control to moderate posts.

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 08:30:41

If you dont get affected by what others say,do you expect others to get affected by what you say,or should we all read your posts as "horse and hound".
Why not just lurk. Unless you appreciate the attention. Though that is ok,if that is what you get out of MN.

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 08:48:44

you have paraphrased erroneously.i said mn hasnt significantly changed me. i didnt say post have not affected me.i said posts havent changed me.which is different

i have also acknowledged mn provokes a range of emotions and response in posters.others can take my posts on any level they wish i cannot moderate the response of another.we all bring our own class,cultiral,experiential preferces to mn and this influences preferences and posts

mn funny,sad.thought provoking.and one can engage on any level one choses.its not obligatory to feel changed.nor does fact im unchanged negate my experience.

others report they feel changed by mn.thats their lived subjective experience
im unchanged thats my lived subjective experience
both absolutely correct

jchocchip Wed 10-Oct-12 08:58:23

I found a mumsnet thread just after my op for breast cancer last year and have had loads of support from ladies in a similar situation and helped me process my thoughts. But talking about changing me this c25k thread gave me the kick to put my trainers on and start running. Now I like to run 5k every Saturday morning at and I'm meeting rl people there!

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 09:38:14

I am sorry that I didnt really see that you had used the word "significantly".
I have become so used to you saying things like "words on a page yada yada yada" or somesuch,that I skimmed your post.
Nice to see you write more than your usual 3 lines,I sort of was beginning to think you couldnt do more than that!
You are getting into my psyche!

Are you saying posts affect you,but not change you?
I dont understand at all what you mean by that.

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 09:45:34

yes your presumnptive preemptive interpretation caused you to make error.apology accepted
we all bring nuances and preferences to mn.that affects how one posts or read post
its not your role to instruct how anyone posts or enages on mn.thats mnhq role

Boomerwang Wed 10-Oct-12 09:49:06

I agree that MN has changed my views on a lot of things, and now I believe I am much more understanding when confronted with a lot of the issues raised here. I believe I have learned a little more about diplomacy and the value of genuine sympathy and I like to think that if I were presented with the opportunity I would prove myself a worthier human than I was before.

BrainSurgeon Wed 10-Oct-12 09:59:06

SM do I think you ARE protesting too much wink

I do admire your perseverence.

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 10:03:42

You didnt at all answer my last paragraph at least I dont think you did,I am trying to read super carefully.
You dont have to answer it if you dont want to.

Herrena Wed 10-Oct-12 10:08:26

scottishmummy I haven't read the most recent 100 posts, but your 'words on a page' comment got me thinking about the fact that I've read a lot of books in my life and that some of those words on a page have profoundly affected me. Just because they're words on a different sort of page doesn't mean that posts on MN can't change you.

You keep saying (or at least you did say once, I presume you've repeated it since) that MN hasn't changed you at all (for better or worse). In that case you must be a bit like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way smile

Herrena Wed 10-Oct-12 10:09:51

I beg your pardon SM, you say it hasn't changed you significantly. A minor detail perhaps but you do seem to like those and so I thought I'd flag my error!

MainlyMaynie Wed 10-Oct-12 10:20:55

Interesting that MN hasn't significantly changed you SM, as you are the one poster I think of when I think of someone whose posting style has changed over the years.

MN has made me much more aware of disability/SN issues and I hope that has made me more understanding in RL.

I have just one best friend in RL, but we don't see as much of each other as we used to because we moved and she has been busy starting up a new business. When we chat/get together it's as we left off, but I really miss her. I do have a couple of other close friends, but we only get together every couple of months. I am one of the Mums who everyone talks to in the playground, yet I'm not in anyone's gang. I don't know some days what I would do without MN. From the short time I've been on here, I have found people to be very supportive and informative, some posts have made me cry in recognition of a situation or just make me sad for the poster. Just as importantly, many of you make me smile/laugh if I'm having a crap day. I feel more informed on certain issues and am more open-minded.

FuriousRox Wed 10-Oct-12 11:30:28

I love the fact that there is such a range of ages and backgrounds all mixing in together - I feel like that doesn't happen enough in my own RL - probably my fault. So MN has exposed me to more variety of opinion - and strength of opinion! - than I'm used to. Thanks MN!

Also, it's made me careful about language - things like saying "an SN child" - "no, it's a child with SN". I hope I'm more likely to speak out when I hear offensive or outdated terms being used (watch out, family-in-law!).

The other thing that MN has done to me is to RUIN my eyesight!! Hours of nightfeeds while peering at tiny text on my phone has done it, I swear - at the age of 30something bifocals are beckoning - thanks a LOT MN! grin

nemno Wed 10-Oct-12 11:56:38

JugglingWithPossibilities That was a kind thing to post, thank you.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Wed 10-Oct-12 12:07:22

I think I'm a lot less judgemental now than I was 3 years ago and more likely to consider the factors that cause someone to behave in a certain way. I park my car more considerately to pedestrians - remembering to leave plenty of space for double buggies! I know a lot more about SN than I did. My eyes have been opened somewhat about what poverty can really mean in this country. MN also made me realise that I wasn't pulling my weight around the house so I've made DH happy by sorting that out.

I don't agree with lots of things on the boards. I have no particular opinion on BF vs FF, although I BFed DS and have supported BFing friends. I think the list of things that 'MNers' consider vulgar is ridiculous - family photos, sausage rolls, laminate flooring, shopping at Asda etc. I get irritated by the posters who take everything to extremes, shout '-ism' at the drop of a black hat, seem to believe that no one is just a horrible human being without any justification whatsoever, who don't think that anyone could possibly be screwing the benefits system or who are rude and intolerant about religion. I disagree with the rad-fems. I don't think it's a crime to be middle class or vote Conservative. Probably lots of other things grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 10-Oct-12 12:30:12

I don't think it's changed me that much - it's more made me confident of my own voice - Yes, I probably do have an opinion on everything in case you've not noticed grin (except some corners hidden to me such as style and beauty or pets - generally I pick up threads from discussions of the day or most active smile)

Also though - am much more aware of important issues such as SN and support for children & carers, SANDS, emotional abuse, living in poverty, sexual violence, to name a slightly depressing but very important few sad Hard to say how much such increased awareness changes you ... but I'm sure as far as it does it's definitely for the better.

surfingbabies Wed 10-Oct-12 13:35:42

I know what you mean but I've only been using MN for about 6 months and I love it! I feel it's made me realise that what I'm thinking half the time is perfectly normally and I've posted on here which I was pleasantly surprised at the replies which gave me a massive boost of confidence........
What I find with my RL friends is that they don't always tell the truth, all their children seem to have been perfect through all their ages but on here you get the truth which I love!
It's also been great for my relationship as I don't moan to him anymore, I come on here realise I'm normally and a lot better off than some then go about my day feeling very happy!
Keep it up MN smile

Proudnscary Wed 10-Oct-12 16:41:47

Surfing - I think it's been good for my relationship in realising dh is a good bloke and specifically doesn't think that housework is a woman's job like some twunts posters lament about!

DarkCarnivalClown Wed 10-Oct-12 17:00:37

I don't feel it's affected my opinions really.

It's introduced me to mooncups and shown me a side of life I didn't know much about- Waitrose world, for want of a better phrase!

I can still see both sides of most issues, so I'm not influenced by strong opinions on such topics as feminism, which I know many people are passionate about etc.

I also recognise that while it's a forum with great integrity, there are still some posters who will play devils advocate, pick fights etc. The ones which make me most sad are people who are obviously highly intellegent, but pick apart others who are less so or (even worse!) are so passionate about what they're trying to get across that they become a bit incoherant. If I was unsure about another posters meaning I would ask them to clarify it (nicely.)

Zipadeedoodah Wed 10-Oct-12 17:22:59

I have been lurking for absolutely ages but don't think I have ever posted and if I have it's been under the influence of a Merlot - but just say the way that MN has changed me the most is to make me feel like a normal Mum . Before I thought everyone else was doing it right and I was doing it wrong - now I just know which doing it as best as we can ....but I'm not the one who finds it all a leeeetle too much some days .....

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 18:57:09

imo,mn differs from a book.a book has thematic story by one author
and requires an investment of time to follow the gist as story unfolds
mn is different posts different people and I don't follow particular individual or story on thread

I chose authors by name and recognition of work
that's not available on mn,too big
too many posters and I don't recall who said what
I like dipping in/out mn like a fave magazine

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 19:10:42

ok,that makes a bit more sense.
I realise you work most days,and that has to impact how you use MN.
I also see a lot of posters post on baby names,I presume partly because it can be lighthearted,after a busy working day.

HalleLouja Wed 10-Oct-12 21:13:03

I am doing couch to 5k and can run 28 minutes. I would never have heard about it if it wasn't for mn.

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 21:21:04

i do question your credibility
you say you dont read my posts.too much yadda? only if you don't read posts dr crane analysis,of my presumed seem somewhat nuanced about my posts

jchocchip Wed 10-Oct-12 21:25:18

Well done Hallelouja I am just below 48 minutes now, so I've still got a way to go to catch you! I've lost 2 stone with mfp too, which also I would not have heard of without mn.

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 21:36:29

I do read your posts,but skim the ones and the parts of one that are repetitive. Any brand new stuff I read and try to understand.

didnt understand the rest of your post 21.21pm

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 21:44:18

you do lack say dont read or skim read and opine as you wish
but I'm not inclined assign any credibility to your posts on that basis
a basic given online,read the posts before opining or guessing about motives

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 21:52:08

eh? I say I do read them.
oh dear.

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 21:54:00

I think I will leave you alone.

Boomerwang Thu 11-Oct-12 04:57:49

I tend to ignore posts which cause a mild headache when trying to decipher them.

scottishmummy Thu 11-Oct-12 06:35:16

i observe the online norm of read the post.
if you've half read or ignored content you're likely to be getting wrong end of stick
and if I read a post and don't get it or i think nah.I don't post.

duchesse Thu 11-Oct-12 09:12:37

MN has made me more feminist and egalitarian even than I thought I was before. I didn't realise before having them challenged that many of my views about mothers working etc were mired in my mother's 1950s views. It didn't cross my mind once to think that maybe working at a deficit for a few years was a sensible long term course of action. It's pretty much too late for me but at least I can advise my daughters how to have children without committing career suicide.

Latara Thu 11-Oct-12 11:04:51

scottishmummy - who is dr crane & what is a dr crane analysis?

MN has unsettled me because i thought i was intelligent but now realise i'm not very educated at all... some threads just get too clever & too deep for me to understand. sad

BUT i have been inspired to buy a Dictionary & use it... & i've learnt to use Google & Wikipedia every time i hear a word, phrase or something else i don't understand - as a result i've gained more knowledge - actually a lot more knowledge, thanks to MN for that.

For example i now understand: the differences in between Catholics & Protestants; that there are Sectarian problems in Scotland (as well as Ireland); i've now heard of the 'Jim Crow' laws; i know what 'narcissist' means; & why my friend was letting her baby make a disgusting mess when eating (sorry baby led weaning advocates!); etc etc etc.... grin

Latara Thu 11-Oct-12 11:06:39

'Transubstantiation' - now there's a word & concept that i'd never heard of before MN (hope i spelled it right).

Proudnscary Thu 11-Oct-12 12:03:11

Latara - Dr Crane is just a character from a US TV show, you are not being thick!
I sometimes feel out of my depth but I just don't post if I've got nothing informed or interesting to say so I just read and learn. Unless I find it completely boring then I just stop reading!

KirstyWirsty Thu 11-Oct-12 12:48:15

I've made a new friend ' Lovingfreedom .. and we are going to New York in March to one of my other friend's wedding smile

I have learnt how to shop for clothes online, which is an essential skill if I am to wear clothes - I have neither the time nor the inclinations to go to the shops much these days.

I have learned alot about relationships in general and this has helped me improve my/our relationship and therefore family life overall. I credit MN for some of that.

I love having accessible feminist debates and ideas to browse through the day & fab links to feminist bloggers etc I would not have discovered otherwise.

I have leaned that cutting ones hair is possible, though I will only consider it 'stylish' whilst BF (something to do with the hormones surely).

I have learned not to mention/discuss BF in company unless said company has been "pre-screened for acceptance/tolerance/potentially neurotic views" etc.

Oil Cleansing Method is fab. I doubt I'll ever do anything else now.

I am slowly coming to grips with my slow cooker, I am slowly incorporating meal planning into our lives. I am inspired by MN vastly here.

DD1 is nearly 5 and just started school - I have so much more to learn. MN is a fantastic resource.

I took myself off to a flash mob via MN & it was fantastic. I also presented a petition to a Tory Minister with some other MN'ers - fantastic experience.

Herrena Thu 11-Oct-12 16:14:39

Fair enough scottishmummy. I guess my point was that I take issue with your 'words on a screen' statement. I think it sounds very dismissive (unfairly so in this case IMO) and usually when people make statements like that in RL they come across as aggressively stopping a line of conversation. Also I don't like blanket dismissive statements at the best of times. But that's just me.

I see that you've elaborated further, which is great; I much prefer it when people explain their opinion rather than just stopping at the title, as it were.

scottishmummy Thu 11-Oct-12 19:27:48

do take issue,that's the whole point.discursive forum.for me mn is words on screen
if it isn't for you fair enough.but that doesn't negate my's permissable to not concur
some seem slighted that mn doesn't have same significance for me as it has for them. why? no I don't luffs you all,have no what?

Bigwuss Thu 11-Oct-12 19:52:11

Not only have my views changed, I've had practical help, someone copied a manual for my car when mine was missing, which saved me a fortune at the garage.
Another lady sent me directions to use when visiting another country and couldn't speak the language. Things like continue to amaze me as I don't know these ladies and they have gone out the way to help. This is why mumsnet is great.

I love the support groups. In my time here I have joined:

Antenatal group for excited mainly 1st time mums
The bereaved mums group
Ttc after stillbirth group
Shredding threads
Couch 2 5k (briefly)
Dukan Diet group (didn't work)
Antenatal group for those of us who are less innocent about ttc/pg/birth than first-timers
Postnatal group
BIWIs Bootcamp (did work)

to name a few. I love that no matter what you're going through, there are other people out there with the same problems ready to give great advice and hand-holding.

Proudnscary Thu 11-Oct-12 21:07:20

I don't 'luff' anyone on MN or remember many names (maybe about 15). I don't PM and I don't want to meet anyone on here in RL. I wasn't after a love in when I started this thread (though threads take on lives on their own and anyone can post what the fuck they like). What I personally meant was that it's changed my views on things. And awoken my views on issues I hadn't thought about for years or thought weren't relevant or didn't concern me. I'm more thoughtful and tolerant and knowledgeable. I like that.

scottishmummy Thu 11-Oct-12 21:31:09

we all engage on mn way suits.that's the rub.
and mn is big enough,busy enough to accommodate all preferences and styles
mn for me is recreational blether,and I enjoy it for that

IAmSheWhoMustBeObeyed Thu 11-Oct-12 22:07:12

A relative of mine has just started working in the Saudi Arabian City of Yanbu. I thought this was hilarious but nobody else did.
I had a moon cup for about a year.
I had 25 push chairs and a ton of fun with them. (not all at the same time)
I have rediscovered my feminist principles with renewed confidence.
I hardly ever judge the parents of unruly children anymore.
I am scared to use a disabled loo in case an MNetter is lurking to batter me with a greggs sausage roll.
I will Not renounce Greggs sausage rolls.

BrainSurgeon Thu 11-Oct-12 23:25:17

More thoughtful, tolerant and knowledgeable - well said. Snap!

MaryWatsonn Fri 12-Oct-12 07:14:52

it changed my attitude towards domestic chores, handling tasks and actually made me a proud housewife.
It is didn't do the following to me:
but still it made housekeeping a manageable task and my life better.
Thanks Mumsnet!

porcamiseria Fri 12-Oct-12 15:02:27

"I have a vase of twigs in my living room - they are huge branchy, kitch things sprayed in gold with birds on them and shit and there are pebbles at the bottom of the vase.

I have the same, I like my gold brancHes. when it'S easter I hand eggs on them, and for xmas you can guess!!!! they are in a nice green vase tho, however I did have them in a glass vase with sand


BoringSchoolChoiceNickname Fri 12-Oct-12 15:10:02

grin at moving to YANBU. A male friend of mine read a MN thread that he happened to find through Google and spent the first 500 posts thinking YABU was a particularly prolific poster who everyone kept replying to.

ProphetOfDoom Fri 12-Oct-12 21:48:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 09:21:25

Thinking about this, having not read any other posts (will do soon) it has changed in both positive and negative ways. But much much more positive than negative.

And I completely agree with the MN vs RL. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue due to 1) outing myself as a MNer as some of the things I might say might be seen as a bit MNy (did you mean to be so rude? norks, etc) and 2) because some of my views, and confidence to say those things that have always bugged me, may be seen as a bit too controversial and not in keeping with the way my RL friends speak and interact. Not all of them (i suspect one at least is a MNer) but most of them.

I too think I am much more aware of, not increasing my feminist thoughts, but having the words to say them.

The biggest three things MN has given me has to be this confidence to express myself, and to believe in myself more, and has given me an outlet to express my unhappiness at the things I can't talk about freely in RL, such as my back problems, relationship problems, and parenting concerns.

I love you all. Even the Vipers wink

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 09:45:16

<clings on to fellow twig fan porc for dear life>

<wonders if I am a Mumsnet Lover or a Viper>

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:17:42

I think did you really meant be rude is so wanky
the only answer is yes
all the mn words,norks,quiche,luffly I associate with mn but never use or have never heard in rl.I'd be bemused if someone said norks,but wouldnt crack on it's mn phrase

JugglingWithPossibilities Sat 13-Oct-12 10:21:00

Just thinking you can see the influence Mumsnet has had on me through my NN history ... I started out as JugglingWithThreeShoes - from the book Three shoes, one sock, and no hairbrush - about the challenges of having two children. (Or should that have been one shoe and three socks ? confused)

Then I changed to the more surreal, post-modern, and playful "JugglingWithTangentialOranges" - Then after feeling so inspired by the Paralympics this summer, and generally being more aware of choices in my life after my time on here I changed to "JugglingWithPossibilities" smile

- I just read a great feminist quote by Adrienne Rich on another thread that the most important thing any woman can do for another woman is increase her awareness of possibilities ! So thanks to all for doing just that for me !

(There having been some seasonal variants along the way too, though I haven't won a prize yet sad wink)

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:26:05

out of interest what's origin of nest of vipers
was it a journalist or some such

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:26:47

I think it was a flouncing poster..?

Where does norks come from? Never heard it before.

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:28:27

scottishmummy well that is me. I am wanky. I love saying mn things in sentences, just really for my own personal chuckles. as you said. wanky.

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:29:11

proudnscary - a work colleague of mine completely outed herself by using this word. I don't think it is used quite so much on MN but it used to be, in the olden days.

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:29:13

know norks said a lot on mn but it's not a mn exclusive
dawn French uses it
but did she teef it of idea

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:29:53

i thought it was a daily mail quote? or maybe they read a post and used it?

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:30:49

Yes I meant I've not heard it apart from on MN, Pavlov.

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:31:51

ah ok! i don't think I had heard it before MN either. Apart from this one friend. Hilarious she got outed by the word she was highly embarrassed grin

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:33:05

do you really use mn phrases in real deliciously funny in a wanky way
like leave the bastard
why have children if you leave with em strangers

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:35:06

I've never outed a mumsnetter before. To be honest, I'd be embarasssed if people knew I MNetted as the site has a crappy reputation if you don't know it (Boden-wearing, whingey, po-faced, man-hating etcetera). But you must have outed yourself too so not so bad?!

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:36:31

yes, I have mentioned friday night bumsex in a conversation and got lots of shock looks!

I have also said 'leave the bastard' when a friend said that her DH had asked something marginally unreasonable of her. Hilarious. She thought it was very funny as I said it very deadpan. It was funnier to me than she realised.

I also make overly [shocked] faces at greggs pasties being mentioned, and fruitshoots.

And I have written a shopping list with grapes, pombears and naice ham on, then left it in my shopping trolley.

I get my kicks out of simple things in life.

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:36:49

I used to like <gavel> (not in RL that would be incredibly fucking weird) until there was a thread about how cringey it was. Now I dare not use it ever again.

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:38:20

Pavlov you must leave a hell of a lot of confused people in your wake!

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:39:10

She was a good colleague of mine, and I have no idea who she is on MN, and neither does she know me. I did not ask. She has not worked in my office for a long time so we would not know each other on here now. I expect if I spent an age looking for her it would not be hard, but i would not do that.

It was very funny as she used the word, I burst out laughing, she went red and knew she had outed herself before I whisperd <you've been on MN then> and she said yes. She was embarrassed at the use of the word, not that she was outed.

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:39:20

gavel is dead's the presumptive finality of it
just begs you to disagree
and it makes me think someone's watched too much judge judy

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:41:19

have inadvertently left my list in trolley
it's so inane though
I'd like to think milk,bread,hummus did bring someone a wee warm glow though

Pavlovthecat Sat 13-Oct-12 10:41:20

proud well I don't do it in every conversation I have. Just from time to time when something pops into my head. And occasionally I burst out laughing at something no-one gets, then have to quickly sip some wine or something. Luckily, I am on some strong painkillers at the moment so I think my friends just think I am high as a kite most of the time and put it down to that grin

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:42:25

Bloody hell you'd make a good private investigator, Scottishmummy, how did you know about my penchant for Judge Judy? it is remarkably addictive telly

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:43:21

You sound rather fabuloulsy nutty entertaining, Pavlov!

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:43:37

Or fabulously even

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:47:33

someone asked me you ever heard of mn?I was nah mumswhat
was after Kate Hopkins on tv with mn
and to extent the mn rabid reputation is kinda isnt reflective of rl imo

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 10:49:50

Yes some rep is deserved thus the parallel universe comment in OP, but what is not generally known is what a brilliant resource/support network/very very funny and entertaining/knowledgable place it can be.

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 10:53:09

I read article praising mn supporting vulnerable folk
it was complimentary of support given
yes mn general reputation is bit out there,but then so are mn folk too

IAmSheWhoMustBeObeyed Sat 13-Oct-12 11:01:05

Wasn't "nest of vipers" a comment made by an invader from NetMums along with "beatches" or "biatches" or some such.

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 11:03:11

yes that sounds familiar youse is all biatches
and you're point is what?

garlicbutty Sat 13-Oct-12 11:38:50

Did y'all see this? "In Britain, Web Forum for Mothers Makes Politicians Sit Up", New York Times smile

We're world famous!

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 11:44:05

omfg how Glam do they look at hq.the blonde with the pink dress is stunning
it looks like set of'd not want a frumpy or lumpy day at mnhq
is there a gok makeover for all workers

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 11:48:18

I mnhq are all your workers really so gawjus
or is there a back room of competent but too ugly for press picture
is there a blowdry bar for after team meetings

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 11:49:20

Nah they must've hired a few models for the day <cowers from MNHQ>

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 11:49:55

I thought it was 'wolefs' and 'bjitches' not biatches

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 11:53:28

I wouldn't split hair about spelling om mn,there be tears if you Do
wolefs,quiche,nobdies I think are all folk in regular threads

Boomerwang Sat 13-Oct-12 11:53:42

fucking hell scottishmummy I GET IT! Your last twenty posts or whatever bang on about how MN means naff all to you, why are you so determined to drive it home???

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 11:55:44

go find were I've said that.the naff all bit you made up
as I do think you're inventing posts to suit yourself
dont let fact interrupt your posts though

JugglingWithPossibilities Sat 13-Oct-12 11:56:53

Ooh, that article in the New York Times about us is good isn't it ?
- I love running the world from my kitchen table grin

Another thing that is great about Mumsnet is all the links and quotes people post ... though I guess that's an internet thing generally isn't it ?
I'm a big fan of YouTube as well - always something to cheer you up and make you smile smile

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 12:00:21

god mnhq looks so funky,exposed brick,bright posters
gorgeous women too. really looks like a film set
hell beats constant ringing phone and gazillion emails a day at my place

garlicbutty Sat 13-Oct-12 12:15:05

is there a blowdry bar for after team meetings

Loving the mental picture invoked by team meetings that mess up their hair grin

scottishmummy Sat 13-Oct-12 12:32:37

I'm thinking Justine and carrie doing the Alex ferguson pep talk
that would mess yer hair up and one would need a sleek bouncy recovery blowdry
but all the exposed brick,bright prints.hq looks v funky

ProphetOfDoom Sat 13-Oct-12 17:08:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheerfulYank Sat 13-Oct-12 19:09:56

Yay, the New York Times! smile it's true though, there's nothing like it in America, which is why I am here and not there.

Mayisout Sun 14-Oct-12 18:22:33

Hmmm -is that MNHQ, I bluddy hope not. Unless anyone over 30 is pushed out to gransnet to grass.

As an older mumsnetter am not amused.

MrsAceRimmer Sun 14-Oct-12 22:16:16

MN has enabled me to understand what dragon butter is. hmm
MN has also let me see how people from different walks of life can help each other. I have laughed, cried and been amazed on here. I was part of Nagoos MOOG smile
Ive been here 4 years now, under a few different names, and I have had support here too.
I luffs you all!

Shaky Sun 14-Oct-12 23:50:05

I told DH today when looking at toys in the Argos catalogue. Dh was saying "no those are girls toys, THESE are boys toys!" Steering him away from the dolls and prams and showing him the guns and pirate ships etc. when I challenged him he said he was just reinforcing he stereotypes about girls and boys stuff. He got in a huff when I asked (politely) for him not to be such a twat in future!

Shaky Sun 14-Oct-12 23:51:15

Nagoos MOOG was awesome!

theodorakis Mon 15-Oct-12 09:42:11

I swear a lot more. Am so desensitised sometimes have to remember that it is ok online but not at the supper table.

theodorakis Mon 15-Oct-12 09:43:22

Random swearing seems to make your kids respect you more though so MN obviously is good for parenting. (tongue in cheek please)

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