To think that it is really strange if you have twins to always dress them the same?

(132 Posts)
jennymac Fri 05-Oct-12 22:54:24

I know a few people with twins, both identical and non-identical, and they dress them in identical clothes all the time. Why would you do this? They are different children, just because they were born the same day, why would you dress them identically? If you had two girls born a year apart would you dress them in the same clothes, day in, day out? I think it is like treating children as if they are dolls!

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 22:57:02

Some people dress their kids the same regardless of whether they're twins or not. I suppose it's up to them...as long as they let their kids decide when they're old enough.

I'm glad the policy in the majority of schools round here is to put twins in separate classes though...that helps them form individual identities and friends.

Interesting question. I have dts aged 8 mo non id boys. Sometimes I dress them the same mostly not but they have the same coats etc. I suppose on the days I dress them the same it's because I think 'those dungarees are just right in this weather' and I usually have a second pair if they were gifts (people always but two the same) so it's just easier to not have to think too much about a second outfit! I don't know if I agree it's treating them like dolls though if so don't mothers of singletons do this when they pick out their dc's clothes? If they don't want to wear the same things when they are older I won't make them if they do I will allow it could save arguments. Right now they don't have any say grin

EvilTwins Fri 05-Oct-12 23:00:03

I think it's odd to dress twins alike.

I disagree with Worra though. Indiscriminately splitting twins because it's "policy"'is ludicrous. Thank goodness the school I send my DTDs to leaves it up to the parents. There are two sets of twins in their year- mine are together, and the other set are split. My twins have no issues having their own identities, thank you very much, on account of them bring separate people. hmm

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Fri 05-Oct-12 23:00:37

As a twin, it probably cut down on a number of arguments about who wore what [shrug]

Was mostly yellow and brown clothkits horrors anyway.

So glad to be grown up grin

worra I don't agree with the school policy of twins being in seperate classes. I don't like that. Hopefully when it comes to it I will be able to assert my feeling on this but aprecciate that it may not be possible. I don't think it should be the school's decision though to deliberately seperate two siblings

eosmum Fri 05-Oct-12 23:02:09

My friend who is an identical twin often finds that herself and her twin buy the same clothes and end up with the same hairdo simply because what suits one will suit the other.

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 23:05:31

I think I've known an unusually high number of twins over the years because due to the age gaps in my kids, I've been a 'school mum' for 17 years.

With all the sets of twins I've known (roughly 7 or 8) there was only one set for whom separation didn't work.

As it turned out, the twin who was struggling was later diagnosed with high functioning autism and his Mum sent them both to a different school in the end anyway.

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 23:06:30

I have no problem with it. Why do you?

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Oct-12 23:07:06

I find it more odd to see couples wearing the same fleece/coat.

It makes me want to find out more about the dynamics of their relationship so I can write a research paper on them and make a name for myself

jennymac Fri 05-Oct-12 23:07:24

I can sort of understand it more when they are babies and parents have lots of identical clothes bought for them but when recently I was out with a friend and her dsil had her twin boys with her who were aged 9 and dressed exactly the same. I'm sorry but I thought that was a bit weird!

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 23:08:32

AZZ do you mean you and your DH don't wear matching shell suites?? shock

I don't know where I got the idea you did....

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:09:06

^ If you had two girls born a year apart would you dress them in the same clothes, day in, day out? I think it is like treating children as if they are dolls!^

This is what I have, 2 DDs with a small age gap and I dress them the same most days. Its easier for me and they like it and ask to match if I dress them differently.

Horses for courses. If you don't like it, don't do it. Everyone does what suits them best.

jenny actually (backtracks here) I do find it odd when older twins are dressed the same especially when they are non-id. I wonder if I will still feel this way when my boys are 9 and they are wearing matching tracksuits whilst dh and I wear the same jumpers!

EvilTwins Fri 05-Oct-12 23:12:52

I know an unusually large number of twins, owing to being a mother of twins who chaired a twins group. Without a doubt, parents know their children better than schools, and having a "policy" of splitting is wrong. My girls were only just 4 when they started school, and had been together literally forever. Splitting them would have been wrong. However, that was my decision. Research has shown that splitting twins can in fact cause psychological damage if it is forced. I would definitely argue with any school who claims to know what is better for my children than I do. Of the twins I know, only one set is currently split in school. In some cases there was only one class anyway, but in others, the schools have left it to the parents. I don't know a single set of twins who have issues with identity. That's more to do with parenting than whether a school splits them in Reception.

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 23:13:22

Lol mine is Dh your twin shock

jennymac Fri 05-Oct-12 23:14:08

Fair enough! I don't have a problem with it, just think it is a bit of a funny thing to do! My dsil has twin girls who are 2yrs and while the odd time she will put them in the same outfit, they mostly wear different clothes (which I think they just share iyswim). That is as easy as making sure you have the same outfits clean and ironed every day.

jellybeans Fri 05-Oct-12 23:14:17

YABU. I dressed my twins the same when they were babies about half the time. My favourite was same but dif colours. My older girls are 2 yrs apart and were often dressed the same, had the same coats etc. I don't give a hoot what other people dress their kids in so why should they judge mine?

Also my twins have always been in the same class at primary and secondary it is up to parents. This is right. Why are you so bothered how other people dress their twins? Or what class they are in?

smellsabit Fri 05-Oct-12 23:14:29

i can see its easier when they are little!

santaisNOTathreat Fri 05-Oct-12 23:15:32

try telling my dd aged 3 what I want her to wear, if she does not want to wear it she will not wear it. She picks her own clothes. I have a niece who is the same age as DD, if DD wears a dress DN wants to wear a dress and so on and so forth and vise versa.

EvilTwins Fri 05-Oct-12 23:16:11

I always wondered what a twin mum who likes to dress her twins the same would do if one twin puked all over the outfit. Change both? Or have them not matching for the rest of the day?wink

Morph2 Fri 05-Oct-12 23:16:22

me and my bro are 13 months apart and when we was young mum dressed us matching, me in the pinafore dress and him in the matching dungarees. I can't say its done me any harm (i'm 40 next year). We don't wear matching clothes anymore, mostly due to him being in NZ so i would have to be wearing my pjs in the middle of the day

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Oct-12 23:17:26

I've obviously given out the Shell Suit Vibe in my posts worra grin (they're purple with yellow stripes/highlights up the side)

There are at least two retirement age couples who have them here.

I need to know who made the decision to get them, was it a two for one offer, how the conversation went when they were brought home, does one put it on when they're going out and they cajole the other into putting theirs on, do the people they know think it odd, or because of the type of people they are are they not surprised etc etc etc.

I've spent a lot of the time I spend walking pondering this one grin

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Oct-12 23:19:22

shock DH has just confessed his aunty and her husband used to have matching jackets (jackets are worse).

After 12 years I'm still surprised by what I've married into sad

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:21:05

There is no extra work in getting matching clothes cleaned and ironed because I don't iron because I do a big wash once a week of all their clothes and they all just get done and back in the wardrobe. They only have 1 wardrobe because despite not being twins they are in the same size clothes so they all just go in together, the only difference between them is half a shoe size and the length of their hair!
I find shopping easier, I just pick 2 of everything up.
I know plenty of people will think its odd but I can assure you that neither of them have any problem asserting their spirited unique personalities and identities!

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 05-Oct-12 23:21:17

I like twins in same clothes but different colours, too, eg one top each from a set of two with similar designs/colour scheme. However I'm not a mum of twins and can whole heartedly say it doesn't bother me in the slightest what twins wear! grin

MrsBovary Fri 05-Oct-12 23:21:56

In the early days many of us do it for practical reasons (speed and ease of dress), with clothes hanging in pairs in the wardrobe or in drawers. I relaxed out of this a little more as they grew older.

Now I let my twins decide for themselves, and they choose to wear the same outfits. I suspect it won't be too long before they change their minds, however, but it is their choice.

sole no blush (high pitched voice). I was just referring to the posts about couples who dress the same fell flat on my face there.

evil it's true they start out the same but never end up the same grin.

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:23:23

I always wondered what a twin mum who likes to dress her twins the same would do if one twin puked all over the outfit. Change both? Or have them not matching for the rest of the day?

Not that mine are twins, but I just change one. Its not like they have to match, they just do most of the time.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 05-Oct-12 23:23:35

I'd do it for cute value sometimes, but not all the time. I don't think it's odd to dress twins alike, although I prefer it when they wear similar things of different colour.

It's no different to the fact that parents dress their children differently anyway. Ds has friends who wear clothes I really don't like sometimes, but obviously their parents like them so that's up to them.

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 23:25:22

I have a friend who has two DS's, born 11 months apart. She dresses them exactly the same every day. The older of the two is small for his age, and the younger of the two is big for his age. They are the double of each other.

I find it odd tbh.

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:26:07

MrsBovary In the early days many of us do it for practical reasons (speed and ease of dress), with clothes hanging in pairs in the wardrobe or in drawers

Yes, that is it for me exactly. I expect when they get older it will change though, as you say and I'll relax out of it.

kissingtoads Fri 05-Oct-12 23:27:48

I never minded being dressed the same as my twin. I think my mum did it because it made buying easier so we never argued over clothes, and I suspect she liked the special attention/cute factor of having identically dressed identical twins.

Biggest ever mistake was splitting us up into different classes in secondary school. Just increased my lack of confidence and shyness. I needed my twin. Separation made us need each other more, not less. You don't like school when you feel insecure. It's a mistake to think you have to actively encourage individuality in twins. Just because we look alike and love each others company does not make it an unhealthy relationship or stunt our emotional and social growth. We already are individuals.

SoleSource Fri 05-Oct-12 23:27:57

Lol mine grin

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:29:23

Couthy Our gap is slightly bigger but otherwise that is our situation. The older one is small and the younger one is big so they sort of meet in the middle.
I honestly don't see what is odd though. They like it, they request to match if they aren't and it makes my life easier, its a win win situation for all concerned.

Of course I know it will change as they get older but whilst I am trying to dress two toddlers each morning I think anything that makes life easier is a winner.

RedBlanket Fri 05-Oct-12 23:36:13

I did it when they were babies, mainly because we were given lots of the same outfits, but also because it's cute! I stopped doing it when they were toddlers.
Mine are a bit older now so mostly choose what to wear, but they still have some stuff the same, winter coats fir example unless you're prepared to traipse around half a dozen shops there isn't that much choice for boys.

MakeHayNotStraw Fri 05-Oct-12 23:39:25

I suppose I find it a bit odd, but it doesn't really bother me - although I think I may be a bit more confused if it were a boy/girl twin pairing....depending on the outfit, of course.

I do make it a policy never to dress my two the same, after memories of my DM dressing the (then) 4 of us in identical bright stripy tracksuits so that my parents could see us on a beach holiday. I must have been around 7/8 and am still traumatised <shudder>. Twas evil, I tell you.

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 23:39:37

Ziggers you're a fellow people watcher grin

<< Secret handshake >>

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Oct-12 23:43:00

I think I need to make a foray into chat to see if there are any other follow Watchers/Wonderers worra grin

I nearly asked someone I know on fb if they wanted a pombear because what they posted was defo MN Speak <great big ol' chicken>

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:43:50

MakeHay No, mine wouldnt match if they were boy/girl just because it wouldn't be any easier shopping. In fact, it would take longer probably. Rather than seeing something I like and just picking up 2 of the same you'd have to find something in the girls dept and then go to the boys dept to see if there was an equivalent? Too much like hard work for me.

santaisNOTathreat Fri 05-Oct-12 23:45:05

bear

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Oct-12 23:49:26

And apologies to OP for not even mentioning twins, to me it's about the 'Awww' reaction the parents get from other people which'd spur it on.

But I doubt, unless it was an extreme case which spilled over into other ways the children are treated, that it'd do the children much long term harm.

BegoniaBampot Fri 05-Oct-12 23:50:09

I used to think it was weird till I had two sons and when out shopping it was very tempting when you found something you liked to just buy 2 of everything. Imagine with twins that feeling's even more so. Anything for an easy life and less bickering. So I don't think it's that weird anymore.

RosesOrQualityStreet Fri 05-Oct-12 23:52:22

Agent Then I must be doing something wrong because we don't get the 'Awww' reaction much!

chipmonkey Sat 06-Oct-12 00:58:28

I remember getting into a lift in a hotel with dh and suddenly realising when we looked in the mirror that were were both wearing the same fleece but his was blue and mine was pink. It was very depressing.

CouthyMowWearingOrange Sat 06-Oct-12 01:06:00

I have two DS's just 19 months apart. It would never have occurred to me to dress them the same tbh. And what about if you had an outfit you loved for the first one, and wanted your second in it? Would you discount it because you don't have a matching one?

It baffles me.

I actually don't find it cute - I find it a little creepy tbh. I can't see how they can express their individual taste in clothing if they are always wearing the same.

My DD is friends with id twins, and they never wore the same either.

fourundersix Sat 06-Oct-12 01:19:15

OP - here's how I make decisions about how to dress my twins.

1. Buy two of everything because it's cheaper
2. Stagger blearily every morning to pile of clothes in bottom drawer.
3. Pull out 1st outfit.
4. Pull out 2nd outfit
5. Dress twins
6. Repeat (two sets of twins in this household)

Sometimes the outfits are the same, sometimes they're different.

Does that answer your question?

Bigwheel Sat 06-Oct-12 01:39:29

How can buying 2 of everything be cheaper than buying individual items fourundersix? That's the main reason I would never dress twins the same, what's the point in buying the same item twice? Surely your better off just buying fewer items which can be worn by either twin? Plus I agree with others, even twins are surely individuals and hence should be dressed / treated as such (although they do look cute dressed the same :-) ).

deleted203 Sat 06-Oct-12 01:41:34

I don't think it's particularly odd, unless the twins themselves hate it. I imagine they probably have some input once they are speaking as to what they are wearing. I know my DDs were very vocal from the age of about 3 as to what they wanted to wear. And sometimes kids are very insistent on looking similar (do you all not remember at school phoning BFF to find out EXACTLY what she was wearing to special events?) I would guess that some twins want to assert their individuality and some want to look the same.

CerseiLannister Sat 06-Oct-12 01:59:39

bigwheel I would imagine its cheaper because of you have four under six its easier to grab two of something in a shop rather than ferret about for two different things in the right size, fail, deal with tantrums, potentially grab something expensive and the go home needing a pint of wine having dragged all your small children around the shops.

I have two lots of twins in a family in my family too so I am speaking from observing that household, not disparaging any super twin mothers here.

Beaverfeaver Sat 06-Oct-12 03:13:46

Agent
Me and DH have matching north face jackets for walking!

I went out wanting one and he decided he needed one too. I wanted black one and he decides he does too.
I'm too stubborn to get a different colour.

Luckily we only wear them when out hiking and we hardly ever see any other humans.

Beaverfeaver Sat 06-Oct-12 03:18:45

Also, I wasn't a twin, but me and my older sister would be dressed in the same clothes sometimes.

Mostly when man had knitted us jumpers with matching beret's

AdoraBell Sat 06-Oct-12 03:53:08

I've always dressed my twins differently. This was mostly my idea but it was reinforced when OH and MIL told me "shock you don't want them think they are different!" I don't like to see children dressed identically, it looks like a uniform to me rather than "home" clothes. Makes me wander what they wear at weekends when they take the school uniforms offconfused.

JeezyOrangePips Sat 06-Oct-12 06:08:59

It would be cheaper to get two of the cheapest item available, than one of them and one of the next-cheapest item, maybe?

Dress your twins identically or don't. I can't say that I think either situation is odd.

I do think couples wearing the same thing can be odd, but I would forgive a black hiking jacket or the same brand of jeans.

I think anyone who has twins, can get them both changed / washed / dressed and out of the door deserves a medal anyway...

sommewhereelse Sat 06-Oct-12 06:32:47

Last year at DCs school (no uniform) there were two girls a school year apart and they were always dressed identically.
I always thought it must work out unnecessarily expensive if the younger one can never wear the older one's hand-me downs. They might not grow at the same rate but you'd have to buy anyway so they match.

Now the older one has gone up to collège, I wonder if she is still dressed the same as her sister.

exoticfruits Sat 06-Oct-12 06:54:10

I suppose that some parents think it looks cute. If they like it they might as well do it while they have the chance- they will probably refuse later on. If I had twins I would think it odd to dress them alike or have them matching.

idobelieveinfairies Sat 06-Oct-12 07:00:37

I dressed my older set of twin boys the same when little for a few reasons.

When clothes shopping it was just easier to pick up the clothes x2 as any task when you have twins needs to be quick before the feeding and changing needs to start again!

When at playgroups, soft plays read, parks etc it is easier to spot to the 2 children dressed the same, and so easier to round them up when they are heading off in different directions..... so for safety reasons.

One of the twins is like me, short, really dark hair, cuddly, dark eyes. All my other children are like Dp, tall blonde, blue eyes and people, strangers would always ask if he belonged to my family as he was the odd one out, as he got olderish he started to realise this and it made him feel sad, he 'wanted' to be like his twin brother through wearing the same things. ( we still get the comments now, and I reallllly wish people would say it out of ear shot. Maybe we are bring a bit sensitive but it does upset him. So dressing them the same made him feel part of the family when comments were made.

They look back at photos and argue (playfully) who suited what colour/outfit the best!

As for school, they were at a one class per year primary do were together, at secondary now and the school asked me whether to Seperate, I asked the boys and they wanted to be together. So they are and they are fine. The school will move them later on if problems arise. It's up to the twins. There is a special twin bond with my 2 and they make the decisions.

My other set are girl/boy. Obviously they were dressed different (and after 6 boys it was all pink, pink, pink for my daughter!) they constantly argue, same class at school because they have to be (will be split at secondary) and it's a living nightmare sometimes. They constantly ask/moan that they don't want each other as twins anymore!

RubixCube Sat 06-Oct-12 07:06:59

Theres indentical triplets in my dds class who wear the same clothes.I think it's sweet.My mum used to dress me and my sister the same and we are nearly 2years apart.

There are twins near where I live and I see them out and about. They are women in their eighties and they dresss identically. It's rather sweet.

FairPhyllis Sat 06-Oct-12 07:12:28

Agent I can explain the retired couples in the same walking jacket phenomenon, because my parents do it. <shame>

They will go out to buy a new jacket for one of them. They will then find a jacket that is such an amazing bargain that the other one decides they will have one too - old habits die hard. It will inevitably only be available in one colour. Then they prance around the countryside matching each other and not caring a jot.

It was far, far worse when I was a teenager though, as then I invariably got roped into these matching jacket shenanigans and ended up having huge fights in shops about having one bought for me, which I always, always lost. <not resentful at all, oh no>

spyinglife Sat 06-Oct-12 07:13:33

I am surprised no one has pointed out that it is because many (mostly) mums are so damn pro of having twins they Want to emphasis it as much as possible.

This is posibly why it is more common in twinsfrom a more deprived socio economic background where having twins is something to be very proud of, whereas more' middle class' families are more concerned with separate identitie.

spyinglife Sat 06-Oct-12 07:14:56

Proud not pro!

lovessummer Sat 06-Oct-12 07:25:37

I am mother to id dtb's. I also have non id dtb nephews and many friends with twins. I don't dress mine the same but i don't judge my friends who do. I do tend to put them in similar outfits but different colours so i can see why some people would go one step further. Mine have very similar tastes and always want to wear similar things. I have a couple of tops that i had to buy the same as they both wanted the same. Mine are nearly 5 now and I still have endless conversations with people in the street about whether they are twins etc etc. I can see why some people would want to give it the added 'cute' factor as you get the attention anyway. And because I do dress mine differently people tend to just tell them apart by what they're wearing rather than through the subtle differences in how they look. So after all this time they still dont know who's who. School have insisted on no labels and are really taking their time to get to know them- for the first time in their lives I now have to dress them identically every day!

MummyPig24 Sat 06-Oct-12 10:35:50

I'm a bit ocd so I think the temptation would be too much! I have a boy and girl 2yrs apart so no temptation there. Also don't think I would dress same sex children alike if they were not twins. I know 2 sets of id twin girls and neither aee dressed the same although one set similarly eg leggings and shirt dress but different ones. My aunt has non id girls who were occasionally dressed the same eg xmas dresses, but mostly different, they look very different. Only 1 class per year at our school so 2 sets of twins in ds class. Aunt chose to keep her twins together too, as I would.

Arithmeticulous Sat 06-Oct-12 10:52:11

I have 3 boys, 5 years apart and they generally wear the same outfits blush but because DS1 will only wear the same clothes, so I have the same outfit in 5 different sizes...and then DS2 might get dressed first, DS1 sees what he's wearing and thinks he might as well wear the same, then DC3 sees DS1 and wants to look the same... it's not deliberate grin

flaime Sat 06-Oct-12 11:00:05

My SIL has always insisted her twin girls wear the same clothes (they are now 11), but when they stay at their Dad's they get to choose their own clothes and never buy anything the same. Think they just accept that's how it is.

BlueberryHill Sat 06-Oct-12 11:05:20

I have bpy / girl twins, even as babies they wore different things, already had a boy so had lots of hand me downs.

As an alternative view on safety, I dress them in different coloured coats and tops when out. If they are heading / doing something dangerous I want to be able to instantly recognise who it is and shout their name to stop them doing something. If they are in the same / similar coats, have their hood up I may take a second to work out who it is / shout the wrong name and so not stop them in time.

MikeOxard Sat 06-Oct-12 13:27:19

Yabu. Firstly it's none of your business and secondly it's cute. If I had twins I would dress them the same. I am a twin and we used to like being dressed the same, when we were old enough to notice.

catwomanlikesmeatballs Sat 06-Oct-12 13:54:47

My mother used to dress my sister and I the same, it was horrible, we looked and felt ridiculous but she loved the attention it attracted. yadnbu.

rooted Sat 06-Oct-12 14:26:42

I have non Id girls and sometimes dress them the same, sometimes in similar styles and very occasionally in completely different outfits. Mostly because its easier than fighting over who wears what. At just 2 they are already very clear on what they like/dislike and have different favourite things. I don't think dressing them the same/similar will scar them for life. I am very clear on them not just being lumped together as 'the twins' and will be happy for them to decide on clothes etc as they get older.

pjmama Sat 06-Oct-12 14:43:03

My friend dresses her id girls the same most of the time when they were little, it actually made us all learn how to tell them apart instead of relying on differences in clothes. I think part of it was also down to how many matching outfits they were bought by other people! Now they're older they pick their own outfits, some days they want to dress the same and others they don't.

Shelly32 Sat 06-Oct-12 15:03:55

I have non-identical twin girls, who are almost 3yrs old. Sometimes they wear the same thing, sometimes they don't. When they don't, they often squabble about who has the Peppa Pig top, pink dress, etc etc. They've started to choose their own clothes from the wardrobe now , so what they wear is mostly up to them. I think there are far odder things than dressing twins/siblings the same.

spying I was interested in your comment and why you think this? We are certainly not middle class we are middle working class at most in this house. I am proud of my boys and proud of having twins and the sense of achievement in it but I wouldn't say I am anymore proud than a higher social class. Also it's still important to me that they are as individual as they want to be but if they don't want to then I don't mind. I'm not having a go spy sorry if it seems it but I really am wondering why you say this?

BeauNeidel Sat 06-Oct-12 15:08:25

I have ID twins, I did dress them the same as babies as I had a lot of matching outfits given as gifts; they looked cute; it was easier searching around for non-matching stuff when they don't have an idea what they are wearing anyway.

Now, they wear whatever is clean and on top of the pile! (Or school uniform....so the same!)

pollyblue Sat 06-Oct-12 15:13:41

I've always dressed my 4 yo non-id twins (girls) differently, although they share most of their clothes as they are the same size. They currently have the same shoes because they wanted the same and there was so little choice in their sizes I let them. But generally their likes are so different it's very rare that they want the same things and from my point of view, as one is fair and the other darker haired, they suit different things.

OP, ime my dds would have no trouble expressing their very different personalities, regardless of what they were wearing smile

5madthings Sat 06-Oct-12 15:24:00

I have to say i find dressing twins or siblings the same a bit odd. I have four boys and have never done it.

Re twins being dressed identically and what happens if one gets dirty...in my ante-natal/post-natal group there was a mum with twin girls, if one got dirty she changed them both! That seemed mad to me! They also had very similar and rhyming names. in my year at school tbere were four sets of twins and they all tried not to dress the samw, two of thesets of girl twins were a nightmare to shop with as they would fight over who could buy what 'i saw that first i am having it' they wouldnt let each other iwn the same item! Lol they were lovely tho smile

KateShmate Sat 06-Oct-12 15:33:22

I have 3YO triplet girls and dress them the same but normally with all 3 in same top but different colours, if that makes sense? Or same skirt in different colours.

Main reason for dressing them the same is to stop the arguments - if 1 is in a dress and the other 2 in skirts it is apparently completely unfair that they can't wear a dress too.

Other reason is that its far easier when you are in public to spot 3 girls wearing the same thing, than trying to remember individual outfits.

Dawndonna Sat 06-Oct-12 15:52:47

my sixteen year old twins have never been dressed alike.

Shelly32 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:00:09

What does annoy me a little, is when the girls are dressed in different things (most of the time) and someone feels they have to make the comment 'Oh it's lovely that you don't dress them the same.' It's as if mums who do dress their kids/twins the same are inadequate in some way. It really isn't anyone else's business. I'd never comment on the way anyone dressed their children.

Prarieflower Sat 06-Oct-12 17:18:34

I think it's either laziness or some wierd showing off thing.I have twins,my sister has twins and so does my best friend.I know many sets and none are dressed the same.All have working mums and manage to find the time to treat their children as individuals re clothes.

Other parents of 2,3 or more kids manage to dress their dc differently so I don't buy the it's easier thing.If a parent can't be arsed to treat their dc as individuals then they can't expect others to do so either.

I once saw a mum with 4 girls of various girls all dressed the same from hair bobbles down to shoes,outfit and raincoat-just why?????They're not dolls and it's just plain creepy.

My nan dresses her and my grandad the same grin he's pretty much resigned to it after 57 years!
They aren't twins by the way grin

Shelly32 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:24:17

scentednappyhag hahhaha! I'd love to see that!!!

Prarieflower I doubt co-ordinating all of those 4 kids is easy so laziness is def not the issue! I do think a lot of mums are proud that they have twins and sometimes, I stress sometimes and as long as the kids are happy with it, it's fine and very cute to dress them the same.

Prarieflower Sat 06-Oct-12 17:24:26

I agree with Spying I think sadly some couples are very pro twins and want to emphasize the fact they have them.Tis selfish imvho. Twins have to grow up,become individuals and learn to live separate lives.Constantly being treated as a unit to make mummy feel good is selfish.

No way do I want my boys still living together at 40 with only cats for company.<shudders>

Prarieflower Sat 06-Oct-12 17:25:29

Shelly I know several mums of 4 who work and manage to embrace their dc's individuality.

Shelly32 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:28:05

Dressing kids alike now and again will not destroy their identities in my opinion. Look at kids at school in school uniform. They are all very different. My girls are non identical but even if they weren't theya re so, so different. What they wear on teh outside won't change that.

I drive through wendover on my way home from work and regularly see two elderly ladies who must be identical twins wearing matching clothes

SteppingOnLego Sat 06-Oct-12 17:36:40

My id boys are now 6. They like to dress the same if they can but usually that means similar things in different colours because I won't buy identical items or we can't tell which is which from a distance. Same reason they have different colour coats - so the teacher knows which one they are telling off in the playground!

They would hate to be in separate classes at school (not that we have any choice - small village school) but they do have their own friends. I think they just need the security of knowing their twin is nearby.

Shelly32 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:39:45

stepping onlego My girls have separate friendship groups at nurserybut still like to know the other is in the same room. It's lovely to know they will always have each other! Lol at so teacher knows which one they are telling off grin

tanteclaire Sat 06-Oct-12 17:46:22

I think it looks quite sweet. Plenty of people dress siblings the same, particularly of the same sex.
If a child is loved and well clothed who gives a hoot. There are better things to get your judgey knickers in a twist over, frankly.

Shelly32 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:48:28

tanteclaire I'm with you on that!!

Onlyjoking Sat 06-Oct-12 17:53:13

My DH was an ID twin, he hated being dressed the same, when you look at photos he wasn't always sure which now was him!
I have ID twin girls, the only things they have ever had the same were some footwear and PJs. They've never commented on being dressed differently, I like them to have their own clothes, was difficult to ensure they looked different in uniform. My girls have ASD so it was always useful for other people to tell them apart. People still get them muddled up even with different hair and clothes not to mention personality.
It really doesn't bother me how others dress their children.

shaztwins1 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:53:39

i have twins and have never dressed them the same ,tho i think id get funny looks one being girl the other a boy wink but my sil has twin girls also and when they were smaller she had to dress them the same as there was blue murder if she didnt !!!! the girls wanted to dress the same, now they are 8 they dont even want to be in same room never mind same clothes grin so problem solved. the teachers at school still have trouble telling them apart tho they arent identical so they like to trick them as obv they were same school uniform the same as rest of school

GoldenPeppermintCreams Sat 06-Oct-12 18:01:28

On my son's induction day at school, for nursery, there was a set of boy/girl twins in matching outfits, other than the shoes. Same t shirt, same gillet, same brown corduroy trousers. Never seen them outside of school, so not sure if mum still dresses them the same, but very relieved to see her wearing a school dress.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 06-Oct-12 18:04:50

I look at old photos and I can't tell the difference.
My mum used to dress my tdsis in red and me in blue.
But in the old b&w ones, the only one that could tell the difference was my mum.

GhouliaYelps Sat 06-Oct-12 18:10:55

I know a mum who has 3 girls under 6 they are all dressed in identical outfits.
It is weird and so is she.

sazzlesb Sat 06-Oct-12 19:15:16

Our school likes twins to be split but ultimately leaves the decision to the parents. We split our twins in year 1 (there was no option in Reception) and have had no issues whatsoever - probably made easier as they are boy/girl. It's a personal thing of course, but aside from the whole identity thing, my view is do they really want to spend 24/7 with each other - they squabble enough at home as it is! Plus with one in each class, you're guaranteed to get the best teacher each year!

Faverolles Sat 06-Oct-12 19:25:17

I'm a twin, when my dsis and I were young, we would occasionally be dressed the same - one would have a blue dress with red sash, the other a red dress with a blue sash, sometimes we'd have an identical outfit on.
We loved it, none of our friends were twins, and we felt really special.
Not sure how we would have felt if we were dressed the same all the time though.

thebody Sat 06-Oct-12 19:31:08

I dressed my older 2 boys alike as they were 16 months apart and it looked cute.

They are now grown up and totally chalk and cheese so wonder if this is the reaction. Oh well.

EvilTwins Sat 06-Oct-12 19:36:10

The HV who came and did my DTDs' 9 month checkup told me about a set of twins she knew years ago whose mother always dressed them the same, and would change them both if one got food/muck/vomit down her outfit. One was called something like Zoe and the other was Samantha. Both girls answered to the name "Zoemantha". shock It certainly made sure I treated mine as individuals!

Havent' read the whole thread but YABU for using the phrase 'clean and ironed in reference to 2yr old twins.

<Ponders when iron last witnessed in Legs household>

TiggyD Sat 06-Oct-12 19:41:53

I have 2 shoes that are virtually identical. I like them that way as I think they look smarter. If I put a woolly hat on one and a sombrero on the other it would just look weird.

candr Sat 06-Oct-12 20:53:14

As a twin I hate it when people put their kids in the same clothes and use the crap excuse of 'we were bought 2 sets the same' - do they have no other clothes that they have to wear same outfit on same day? Let your children have their own identities and they will be much more secure growing up. If you put them in the same class it is much harder to develope own personalitiy as other children (and adults) treat you as one person. My sister and I are close but have different lives. We felt more confident growing up and trying new things as we did not rely on each other for support.
Parents that do this to their kids make it harder for the rest of us to teach people that we are separate people and twins are not half a person each.

goldenlula Sat 06-Oct-12 20:55:17

I have 2 ds' just over 2 years apart. They have, in the past, had some outfits the same, not an everyday thing, just some the same some different. They are now 6 and 4 and it tends to be just 'special occasion' clothes that are the same now. I think it is each to their own.

aquashiv Sat 06-Oct-12 22:00:55

Whats with all the twin things tonight?
I think matching anything looks daft.

anniebunny Sat 06-Oct-12 22:15:38

I have ID twins and never dress them the same- round here it's mostly the DZ twins that seems to be dressed identially- it looks weird and awful- just one more thing for them to talk to their therapist about in later life. Laziness on the part of the parents and attention seeking- 'look at my TWINS'.

They are the same parents who call them 'the twins'- SHUDDER!

jellybeans Sat 06-Oct-12 22:19:47

' If you put them in the same class it is much harder to develope own personalitiy as other children (and adults) treat you as one person. '

I disagree. Also many don't have a choice in one class per year schools! Additionaly same clothes doesn't mean single identity otherwise why do school kids share a uniform? There is much more to identity than dress! Some people are over agressive about how others dress their kids. My mum dressed me and my sister the same and we aren't twins! Doesn't bother me a jot. Many people call my sons 'the twins'. I don't but it really doesn't bother me.

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug Sat 06-Oct-12 22:27:23

I've never dressed mine in the same clothes as having 2 older brothers meant i had loads of hand me downs to put them in. Plus dressing the same would mean I would have to be organised with my washing, and that is never gonna happen!

Of course once they started school they were dressed the same anyway.

Interesting about same/different classes. My two were split up and DS4 wouldn't talk in class but would in the playground. He never said why he wouldn't talk (even to me if I went in his class) but I wonder if it was to do with being split from DS3? He has gradually got more confident (in year 4) and the school decided to put them in a class together, which I think has actually helped as they play together with the same friends.

Snog Sat 06-Oct-12 22:28:02

Establising your own Identity is so important - twins dressed the same is cute but I would never do it myself.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 06-Oct-12 22:32:16

I wish me and my twin had been put in separate classes.
We were never in our school years treated as individuals, it wasn't till my twin left school a year before me that I was actually LadyB and not twin.
It wouldn't have stopped us being close, we still are, but through choice now.

Jojay Sat 06-Oct-12 22:43:13

I've got b/g twins and know quite a few twinny people.

The ones who dress them the same are always the ones who moan that people don't treat them as individuals, blah blah blah.

sausagesandwich34 Sat 06-Oct-12 22:52:04

I'm a f/m twin (stopped being b/g years ago)

I was always in red, my brother in blue until we started school

it was only the middle of summer when I was in dresses we were different but then my summer dress would match my older sister's (made by mum)

we were together in reception and then split from what was middle infants and is now year 1

in the short term my brother found it really hard -he was always the quiet one and struggled to speak up without me being there
but it was a massive advantage for me as I constantly felt responsible for him IYKWIM

but he came out of his shell and it worked well for both of us

both went to the same high school and most people didn't even realise we were siblinging, never mind 'the twins'

wouldn't mind but my grandma used to call us the twins and she was a twin herself -so just goes to show it's different strokes and all that

SoMuchToBits Sat 06-Oct-12 23:05:28

I'm an ID twin. Sometimes when we were very young we were dressed alike, as we got older we had more say and wore different outfits.

We were in the same class for the first 4 years of school, then separate classes for next 3 years. Then at secondary, same classes for 2 years, separated thereafter. It was always better when we were in different classes.

But much, much better when we left home for uni and our friends didn't even know we had a twin sister!

thetrackisback Sat 06-Oct-12 23:13:44

I had this opinion about dressing twins the same and I have unidentical twins. I don't dress them the same but they do have a lot of the same clothes. The reason is time. I buy one a jumper so I've then got to get the other one a jumper that s of similar cost. In shops at their age there is usually only one or two ranges of clothes so I would have to go somewhere else for a jumper. It means a lot of trailing round!! So I buy the same sometimes. However I don't dress them the same on the same day and when they get older I will have more choice and they will be be to give more input. On special occasions I do like them to look like they belong together so I might get them a different dress but the same cardigan cos they look really cute that way. They have their own identity but some of that identity is being a twin. There is an indescribable bond with twins that you just don't understand until you have some for yourself. For a singleton the most important person in that child's life is their mum or main carer for a twin it is their twin. They have always been there from the very word go. For all these reasons I can see why someone would dress them the same.

Way2Go Sat 06-Oct-12 23:27:32

I think it must be fun to dress them alike occasionally but i find it a bit odd to purposely dress DT's alike all of the time. I find it hard enough to remember other peoples DC's names at the bet of times.

I suspect if I had identical twins I would do the same as fourundersix. grin

SoMuchToBits Sat 06-Oct-12 23:31:28

No, thetrackisback, the most important person in my life has never been my twin sister. Never.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 06-Oct-12 23:39:49

As an id twin I disagree thetrackisback.
We have a bond, yes, but you have to be a twin rather than be a parent of one to understand how it feels.

SoMuchToBits Sat 06-Oct-12 23:41:58

I agree LadyBeagle

thetrackisback Sat 06-Oct-12 23:42:27

SomuchHa! Ha! Obviously no love lost there. I'm not saying they get on famously they have just started kicking the shit out of each other but when upset they come to me but will then look for their sister. They have their own personalities but that has developed because they are a twin. Ie they can both stand their ground when needed.

SoMuchToBits Sat 06-Oct-12 23:50:10

Well, I get on ok with my sis - but much better if we are generally living apart and in different spheres of contact.

Happygirl77 Sat 06-Oct-12 23:57:15

Not read the whole thread, but as a SAHM of 3 dcs, if I am taking them all somewhere busy (with the potential for them legging it becoming separated I often dress dd1 and dd2 in the same clothes. If my dh is taking them out for the day very rare I do the same, so that if he loses one he can remember what she was wearing by looking at her sister!

Otherwise, they tend to wear similar clothes (eg: jeans, jumper and body warmer) but in different colours (one is a frilly pink girl, the other a blue tomboy!)

TeenageTantrumsMakingMeCrazy Sun 07-Oct-12 00:06:15

I am not 'creepy', 'strange' or 'odd' hmm but I usually buy my DTS's the same jumpers, t-shirts and coats purely because when I find something I like, I very often can't find the same thing in a different colour and if I like it, I want them both to wear it (I would'nt make one wear something I don't like just so people don't think I'm strange!).

Also I often buy stuff in sales (it is definitely not 'buy one, get one free' when it comes to twins grin) and find something nice that they will both like so buy two of them. When they were pre-schoolers I used to dress them in the brightest colour jumpers/coats (same) as possible so I could spot them at the park/softplay etc. They needed to be wearing the same as I may have forgotten what the other one was wearing (they did'nt sleep through until they were about 5!).

Boys are 10 now and don't care what they wear as long as they are comfortable. They are non ID and are total opposites (black hair/dark blonde hair/tall and skinny/shorter and chunkier!) so don't look the same. When they have an interest in what they wear, they will choose their own clothes. They don't seem to have suffered for it up to now and have always had their own identitieshmm.

Willowme Sun 07-Oct-12 09:17:13

I seen twins last week while out shopping in identical clothes, whats so strange about that I hear u ask?

They were at least 55yrs old!!!

Was shock to say the least!

jellybeans Sun 07-Oct-12 11:26:38

We have a bond, yes, but you have to be a twin rather than be a parent of one to understand how it feels.

With respect, you only know how you feel. Many other twins could feel totally different. You can't speak for them all or rule over what a parent feels for HER twins is right.

Also who is to say that those twins who say they regret being in the same class etc. wouldn't have regretted if they HADN'T been? They haven't experienced it-grass is always greener and all that. My BIL is a twin and they were split at secondary but then put back together. For them they didn't regret being together, in fact it was judged for the best by the twins themselves, the school and the parents.

Another thing is as a teenagers I was embarrassed at pictures of me and DSis dressed the same. However when I was a parent of 2 DC I dressed them the same sometimes! Just shows that if some of you actually HAD twins you may also dress them the same, feel they need to be in the same class etc. For those that do but don't choose these things that is their right too.

Sprogstersmum Sun 07-Oct-12 12:14:02

I'm not a fan of siblings (twins or not) dressed the same (but each to their own) however my 2 dds (3 and 7) always want to dress the same and will try and match up their clothes and if I let them choose when buying new things will insist on the same. I kind of feel they should be able to choose what they want to wear as long as it's appropriate so now go everywhere with matching children despite the fact I hate it! So maybe with twins it's not always the parents!

GoingBackToSchool Sun 07-Oct-12 17:48:17

I'm a twin and our parents used to dress us the same when we were little. They started dressing us differently but apparently we just fought over each others close lol! So in the end it was just easier to put us in the same thing smile
Once we got past that stage, we wore different things and now have very different styles!! I don't think it harmed me in any way. I can see how it would if you treated them the same as well though smile

candr Sun 07-Oct-12 21:12:43

Jellybean, as you are not a twin you won't know how annoying it is to be called 'twin' the whole time(especially by teachers) rather than your christian name. Wearing school uniform is different as Everyone is in the same boat but own clothes is your chance to be seen as an individual.
You may not mind a jot people reffering to your boys as twins but they may have a different opinion as they get older.

Everyone who has twins has some cute pictures of them in the same outfits when little but it is those that insist on dressing them the same as they grow and start learning 'who' they are that cause problems.
I used to belong to a twins club and now as an adult there are a few sets of twins who have been so kept as one person that they can not live apart as they literally feel they cannot cope without their sibling - I find this so sad.

RedBlanket Mon 08-Oct-12 10:30:05

I never call mine 'the twins' and I find it irritating when other people do. So much of their life and experiences are shared at least let them have their own name!

jellybeans Tue 09-Oct-12 13:05:08

'Jellybean, as you are not a twin you won't know how annoying it is to be called 'twin' the whole time(especially by teachers) rather than your christian name.'

I am not a twin but still can have an opinion? Other twins than you also may feel different. My family is full of twins as well as my own sons so I do feel I can have some say.

However, yes I can see that being addressed as 'twin' would be annoying especially when older. An older lady at the toddler group used to see my boys (about age 2) and say 'ooh look here's the twinnies' but she really didn't mean any harm so it didn't both me.

My sons will be in the same class at secondary and have always been in the same class at primary. There is a whole list of reasons for this and it is definitely the RIGHT decision for them. But they are non ID and never addressed as 'the twins' except by people differentiating between them and my other 3DC.

candr Tue 09-Oct-12 21:57:48

Ok, fair point (shudder at word 'twinnies') When I went to school each child had own peg, drawer etc yet we were expected to share ours and were ALWAYS paired together so were relieved to go into different classes where we were seen as individuals. Lucky for us at secondry we had no classes together (she was in higher set as a bit more academic)
Still find if we so much as sit next to each other in a restaurant strangers feel they have the right to interupt our meal to come and comment on 'oooh, are you twins - you look so alike' (and various other forms of same statement) which I find so rude. Really hope things are easier for your boys.

RedBlanket Tue 09-Oct-12 22:07:52

Candr - you just reminded me, when mine were at nursery they always had to share a peg. 2 coats and 2 bags on one Little peg, it usually snded up all over the floor. Used to drive me bonkers.

jellybeans Tue 09-Oct-12 22:10:07

Thanks. I would be very annoyed if they had to share a peg or tray! That is awful. Also if they were always paired. I am very happy for mine to be split into different sets and they are different ability, they will literally probably just be in registration together at secondary. Sorry people are so rude to you though, I would never ask people anything like that or be so nosey!

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