To be hurt for being publicly judged by my own brother for going away without my DC (fb related, sorry)

(117 Posts)
MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:32:53

DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas to New York. This will probably be the last time we go away minus DC as we are TTC-ing after Xmas. and this was going to be our present to eachother and a last big holiday if you like, before, if we are lucky enough, DC3 comes along. our DC are 3 and 6 and are staying with my DPs in the Cotswolds, my DPs are more than happy to have them, so we will be spending the run up to xmas with the DC and also xmas eve, xmas day and some of boxing day.

Anyway, my brother has posted all over Facebook how "disgusting" and "selfish" we are "leaving the kids at christmas" and how he "can't believe mum and dad have agreed to it" and he thinks we should take them with us.
BTW, the DC have had 2 holidays already this year, this summer, we took them to Lanzarote and Wales.

He hasn't said ANY of this to my face, it has all been via public facebook rants for all our friends and family to see. Its as if he just wants to show me up. He is of course entitled to his opinion on it, but I feel he should tell me privately. He looks down on us anyway as we live in a HA house and are just ordinary, whereas he has a high flying job and a flashy car and nice apartment.

I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but we just don't want to take them on this occasion. And anyway, IMO a long flight followed by lots of walking around shops and sightseeing in the freezing cold NY winter, would not be much fun for them. or us

DB does not even have DC of his own and barely has anything to do with my DC, he is pretty uninterested in them tbh so why they sudden sanctimonious behaviour? confused

anyway I am hurt and just want to rant I guess., I am quite prepared to be told I am BU for going away sans DC but I really think my DBs behaviour is shitty and U.

SuperB0F Fri 05-Oct-12 17:34:27

Of course his behaviour is shitty. Tell him to go and boil his head, and enjoy your trip.

UsingAPsuedonym Fri 05-Oct-12 17:34:33

I can't imagine leaving my children over Christmas so probably agree with him. Completely wrong to plaster it all over facebook though!

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 17:34:54

Block him, he's a twat.

WelshMaenad Fri 05-Oct-12 17:36:15

Twat.

It sounds heavenly. I have a 6 and 2 year old and they adore my parents, if happily leave them for s few days to enjoy a break with DH.

You have a lovely time.

LittleBairn Fri 05-Oct-12 17:36:26

Lol I could hav guessed before you mentioned it he has no kids. Ignore him.
I could understand if it was over Christmas eve or day but its not,plus they have had two family holidays this year. I bet they will have fantastic time with their grandparents.

whistlestopcafe Fri 05-Oct-12 17:36:45

The OP isn't going at Christmas, she said after Christmas.

Reply to his fb rant so you can put the record straight. Delete him from fb and remember that he is essentially an idiot.

WelshMaenad Fri 05-Oct-12 17:37:13

The trip is after Christmas, OP will spend Xmas with the DCs and her DPs.

Your db is pathetic:
1st to think that parents who go on holiday sans children are selfish (rolls eyes)

2nd to rant on fb

Just hugely pathetic.

larks35 Fri 05-Oct-12 17:37:49

YANBU, your DB is an arse. Ignore. Does he have form for this sort of thing?
Enjoy your break, your DCs will be fine. Nowt wrong with a holiday sans kids once in a while IMO. Mind you that is only my opinion as I have yet to experience it! Mmmm, New York over New Year (pipe dream!!!)

Thingiebob Fri 05-Oct-12 17:38:15

But she's not leaving them over Christmas??

I would tear him a new one to be honest.

Enjoy your trip, it sounds fabulous.

i don't see a few days afyter Christmas as Christmas though. It's the boring time when nothing much happens. A change for all would be fantastic

tittytittyhanghang Fri 05-Oct-12 17:39:05

YANBU, your db is an idiot, and probably just jealous that he isn't going away on a nice holiday. UAP op is not leaving her children over xmas, she and dp are going away after xmas.

squeaver Fri 05-Oct-12 17:39:42

What an arse. You're not leaving your kids over Christmas. They will have a great time with their grandparents. And you're perfectly entitled to go away on your own without them.

Facebook is the devil's work, it really is.

I wouldn't go away and leave my DC on Christmas day, or even the run up to Christmas if I could help it (say the 23and 24). But the 27th or whateve, or over new year is no different from that point of view to any other day

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 05-Oct-12 17:40:26

Ooh, are you going to be there to see the ball drop on New Years Eve? I'd love to do that! We went at Christmas once, it was freezing but brilliant!

Your brother is a twat btw.

MainlyMaynie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:40:32

Extremely rude of him. Bizarre. I wouldn't leave my DS on boxing day though, even with grandparents he adores. But I wouldn't criticise anyone on FB for it, however much I judged inside my head!

MadgeHarvey Fri 05-Oct-12 17:41:37

From your OP -

I don't have to explain myself to anyone

That. Exactly.

To the poster who's bleating about the OP leaving her kids over Christmas - read the thread properly why don't ya?

Just go. Fantastic opportunity and your DC won't remember this in a few years time - it truly isn't a 'lifelong grudge' issue. Go. Have fun. And ignore your brother - he sounds like he has a whole load of issues!

Lizzylou Fri 05-Oct-12 17:43:23

He sounds a right Dick.
I would definitely call him on it, he sounds very immature and obviously totally without empathy for you as parents.
Perhaps publicly suggest, via Facebook that his neice/nephew would LOVE to spend the time in his swanky bachelor pad as he is such a caring Uncle???
Enjoy your break!

Numberlock Fri 05-Oct-12 17:43:38

Have a great time. I go away without kids and with friends a couple of times a year. Sets them a great example in my opinion.
I also take each of my 3 boys away individually once a year - what would he make of that ?!

Nagoo Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:33

Really really bad form from your brother.

I rarely agree with the OP on facebook threads, but I'm on your side here, he' being really rude, and I expect your parents would be a bit 'WTF?' as well.

weblette Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:55

Oh there's an idea lizzylou

OP none of his fecking business, have a fantastic time.

3monkeys3 Fri 05-Oct-12 17:44:56

I think any ranting of this sort on Facebook is highly unreasonable. I can't fathom why people want their friends list (on which many people have virtual strangers) to see a family quarrel/relationship breakdown/whatever. Your brother is being horrid. YANBU to have a break without your dc.

Hesterton Fri 05-Oct-12 17:45:10

You are doing nothing wrong at all - how very dare he.

Your parents will enjoy having their DGC to themselves - he is a bit old to be jealous of having to share them with small and sweet things who are undoubtably cuter than he is.

I would HAHAHAHAHAHA at him and tell him he's a twat, and he should go away and have his own DC before he judges you.

But don't let him get to you.

lisaro Fri 05-Oct-12 17:45:22

I have children and would be pretty judgy if one of my family did this. However, I would not only not put it on facebook, I'd keep it to myself.

Hesterton Fri 05-Oct-12 17:45:40

ooops undoubtedly

Numberlock Fri 05-Oct-12 17:51:04

Why though? Christmas is for kids, not new year, they wouldn't be staying up till midnight anyway and they won't even remember this in a year or so.

Is it the principle of holidays without kids or just cos its Christmas?

MadgeHarvery, I don't think that poster was bleating, just saying she wouldn't do it smile

ChaoticismyLife Fri 05-Oct-12 17:55:28

YANBU

You should post 'DB are you really suggesting that my DC won't be safe or happy staying with their grandparents?'

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 17:56:03

I can see why you are going away for a few days, but tbh, I DO think you are being selfish going away over Christmas. You won't be there with your DC's on Christmas Day? I can't get my head around anybody doing that out of choice.

I HATE being away from my DC's every other Christmas - and it's not through choice so I can go on a jolly, it's because they are at their Dad's that year.

There are people like me who will be sitting there at Christmas in tears, missing their DC's, yet you are leaving your very young DC's through choice.

Surely there were other times in the year that you and your DP/DH could have gone for a dirty weekend, rather than a time like Christmas chuffing Day?

couthy, the op is giong after christmas

Numberlock Fri 05-Oct-12 17:58:07

Read the thread...

DublinMammy Fri 05-Oct-12 17:58:14

Your brother is a toolbag. Ignore him and have a lovely time. Good luck with TTC in the new year by the way, great idea to have a nice holiday together beforehand....

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 17:59:01

Ah. If you're there for Christmas with your DC's, and going away after, tell your bro to get over himself.

It IS easy to misread what you have written though!

Enjoy your trip. As long as you are there for Christmas, why does it matter if you are away for New Year's? Christmas is for DC's, New Year's is for adults, IMO.

CSIJanner Fri 05-Oct-12 18:01:44

CouthyMow - She is not going away until mid-boxing day.

goes away muttering about people who jump to conclusions but doesn't read the OP properly...

phlebas Fri 05-Oct-12 18:02:01

"DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas ... "

Not that easy to misread!

mantlepiece Fri 05-Oct-12 18:02:19

Did your DB plan to go to your parent's over the Christmas Holidays? That is the only reason I can think of for such silly behaviour on his part.

Have a great time and am sure the DC will too!

mumto2andnomore Fri 05-Oct-12 18:03:21

Sounds fab I'm jealous ! And your children will have a great time with grandparents I can't see the problem !

CSIJanner Fri 05-Oct-12 18:03:24

Sorry Couthy! Cross posted after your reply. Must now go chastise myself for jumping as well sad

Pagwatch Fri 05-Oct-12 18:06:42

He's being a twat. Just post 'don't be such a monumental twat' and then ignore him.

BlueSkySinking Fri 05-Oct-12 18:07:05

I'd post a comment 'har har, very funny, it's not like we are abandoning them alone in an poverty stricken orphanage on Xmas day. You do know it's only for three days AFTER Xmas and kids are really looking forward to having special grandparents time'

chandellina Fri 05-Oct-12 18:10:02

Yeah I'd go for a joke - "next time we'll just stick them in a cage with bread and water. "

Can't believe anyone would judge your decision, it sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

What Pagwatch said.

CakeBump Fri 05-Oct-12 18:12:10

I don't think there's anything wrong in going away without your kids - they're not surgically attached to you fgs.

Your brother is probably jealous, and is being not only unreasonable but also extremely childish in choosing facebook to vent his anger.

Ignore.

YouOldSlag Fri 05-Oct-12 18:13:54

I'd like to say YABU but purely because I am incredibly jealous of you!

I always dismiss any parenting judgements form people who don't have kids.

I can't see the problem, tell him to get a grip

CaroleService Fri 05-Oct-12 18:16:19

You would be extremely unreasonable to leave them with him grin - he is an arse of the first order.

monkeysbignuts Fri 05-Oct-12 18:17:02

I would never leave my kids to go away alone but each to their own and he should keep his beak out.

FayeKinitt Fri 05-Oct-12 18:17:32

What a twonk. Are the kids going to explode because you left them with their loving grandparents for a few days? No! Will it affect their A level results? No grin

If it helps OP, I'm going away for four days on holiday without my kids and without DH shock So I top trumps you on the selfish uncaring parent stakes!

queenofthepirates Fri 05-Oct-12 18:20:25

I can still remember the wonder week I had with my GP whilst my parents went on holiday sans kids-I was three and it was brilliant!

Having taken my DD to NY, it was exhausting, fab but not really a holiday. Enjoy yourselves and ask your parents if they take bookings please?

nextsale Fri 05-Oct-12 18:24:39

it's 3 days out of 365 and you need to keep your relationship going sounds wonderful if you worked in a store that offers sales you would be working boxing day and after anyway the children would love it new year in the cotswolds sounds lovely

Goodadvice1980 Fri 05-Oct-12 18:25:27

YANBU!

I don't have dc myself but I am always happy to look after my cousin's children if they want a few days away. Your brother sounds like a rude, spolied brat.

You are obviously a far better parent then he is an uncle.

Hope you and your dh enjoy the trip, New York is fab smile

Smeghead Fri 05-Oct-12 18:25:48

I wonder if it is because you have stepped out of your pigeon hole?

You say he looks down on you so he probably gets a boost to his own self esteem by seeing himself as better than you, financially and materialistically. But you doing something that he probably thinks is only for successful people like him takes you out of the "poor relation" bracket and means that you are actually more successful than he allowed himself to believe. It means that he cant look down on you anymore because he isnt the big "I am".

He is jealous and picking on the only thing he can to try and burst your bubble. It may also be because he cant afford something like that himself, which could be perfectly feasible if he has high debts and a high mortgage on his flashy apartment.

Gumby Fri 05-Oct-12 18:29:26

There must be more to it - is it because he wanted to see them & they'll be away?

MumOfAPickle Fri 05-Oct-12 18:49:11

YANBU at all. He's a tool of the highest order and you should definitely call him on it. There's no way I would let my sister speak to me like that in front of everyone (which is effectively what he's doing without actually having the balls to say it). You really must defend yourseld. I think Smeghead probably had it spot on.

Nanny0gg Fri 05-Oct-12 18:49:33

Blimey!

Will people please at least read the OP properly, even if they don't read the rest of the bloody thread!!

OP - you are not U at all.

Either phone him and tear him a new one, or just block him on FB/RL.

(I think the second suggestion is the best one)

Fosgoldlady Fri 05-Oct-12 18:50:42

To me it would be worse to subject the kids to two long flights in a short space of time taking them away from their nice new shiny presents that they'll want to play with.

You enjoy your treat and let your dc's enjoy theirs!

btw envy - but in a nice way!

MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 18:53:58

No gumby - he will get to see them as him and his GF will be visiting my parents as well.

TBH it did cross my mind that he would be jealous of my dc being there with my parents getting all the attention. he is 29 but still very spoilt and my DPs golden boy hmm - lots of things he has, my DPs bought for him or helped him out with, shall we say. Whereas I like to make my own way in the world and don't like to ask my DPs for anything apart from babysitting

He does think he is "better" than us, he likes to put down where we live in a passive aggressive way, and ask why we won't buy a house, as if we are somehow failures for still renting in our 30's (and 40's for dh lol) and shock horror live on a council estate shock he is a pompous twat.

Anyway Thanks mnetters for your fab responses, am glad that most of you DON'T think I am being a horrible mum leaving my DC, tbh he was making me doubt my own judgement and feel really bad. I was in tears when I saw FB earlier

Also agree FB is work of devil

am also v v tempted to nick some of your responses to him and post them on fb back to him but that would be v childish of me blush

Pagwatch Fri 05-Oct-12 18:54:58

And it is useful to remember that it is no one else's sodding business.

Even, and I say even, if the op was leaving her children for six months it is
A) not the brothers business
b) unbelievably crass of him to gossip about his sister and
C) even worst to post it on fb.

Thick, uncouth, interfereing and ill mannered.

Don't post anything justifying yourself!

Actually just post
Thick, uncouth, interfering and ill mannered

Madlizzy Fri 05-Oct-12 18:59:21

I'd just say something along the lines of "Oi, knobby! Take your knob and knob off, and when you've done that, come back here then knob off some more." He's made himself look far more of an arse than anything.

AndFanjoWasHisNameO Fri 05-Oct-12 19:07:33

Yes, damn right you should be hurt angry
He is an idiot, a jealous idiot. A truly lovely idea for you and DP, am vairr jealous . Maybe lock your brother in a freezer for a couple of hours for him to see how cold your kids would be wandering round NY grin
We're hoping to revisit the Maldives without the kids in a couple of years whilst they go to Wales in a caravan with Nanny. I know what I'd rather do as a child....

returnvisit Fri 05-Oct-12 19:16:56

yanbu

Have a fab time and enjoy yourself. What does he know when he doesn't have kids? I've been away without kids & it's important for u both to have some time together . Will make u refreshed and ready to deal with everything and IMO can sometimes make people better parents cos they have had a break.

Mrsjay Fri 05-Oct-12 19:34:11

your brother is an idiot obviously and a smug parent facebook is littered with them and he is probably a bit jealous he hasn't the confidence to leave his children for a few days

Mrsjay Fri 05-Oct-12 19:34:50

He hasnt EVEN got children I didnt read that bit he is an arse

Well, he's right that it is selfish because you're doing it for your benefit rather than for your children's. That doesn't make it wrong for you to go away though; I don't know why people expect parents to entirely devote themselves to their children 24/7 365 days of the year confused

Your children will have a great time and so will you - what's his problem?!

Mrsjay Fri 05-Oct-12 19:42:44

and I agree there is nothing wrong in being selfish sometimes

It would seem that he's pissed off that his few days of having mummy and daddy dote on him will be ruined by the presence of actual children!

Enjoy your trip. Let your parents enjoy their gc. Let your children enjoy their time with their GPs and let your brother go fuck himself get over it!

gimmecakeandcandy Fri 05-Oct-12 20:10:02

Each to their own, it's not something I would do, I just couldn't imagine going away without them yet but I would not judge you at all for a wee break after Xmas as you know your kids and know they are in good hands etc.

I agree with writing something along the lined of 'stop being a fucking dick' to him!

Enjoy your break

GoSakuramachi Fri 05-Oct-12 20:56:14

Why didn't you just delete his comments when he posted them? And then deleted him? and then punched in his stupid face?

PickledFanjoCat Fri 05-Oct-12 20:58:04

Delete him and then shove his computer up his arse.

Have a nice break, nothing wrong with it.

He is being a stupid penis.

Bunbaker Fri 05-Oct-12 21:02:21

DD (12) doesn't think you are being selfish.

Sigh. Just another negative example of Facebook.

lydiamama Fri 05-Oct-12 21:07:39

YABU because you are giving your DB what he wanted. He knows you are going to see that in FB and being upset about it, and as understandable as it is, please try to ignore him. I know it hurts but he is behaving so stupidly, it is unbelievable, if he has something to say he should tell you, not put it on FB. And for leaving your children after Christmas, it is your business, a nice little trip with your hubby is good for you, and your kids are going to be in good hands, so perfectly reasonable.

geegee888 Fri 05-Oct-12 21:26:16

Your DB sounds as if he has a very limited, dull, life, much of which was over the moment he had children.

cerealqueen Fri 05-Oct-12 22:07:16

None of his business frankly. I would delete his posts, stop him posting on your wall and update very regularly on how excited you are and how excited your DCs / GPs are about your plans. He can see what you write but can't respond, ha ha!

StopTalkingAndEatYourDinner Fri 05-Oct-12 22:13:10

YABU - a few days in not long enough for a New York trip. You should be going for a week!

Your brother is a twat.

LaQueen Fri 05-Oct-12 22:21:36

It's such a shame that you can't choose your family, eh? He's an idiot, but he can't help it.

Go. Have a great time. New York at Xmas is luffly. You're spending all of Christmas with your DCs - I don't really count Boxing Day as Christmas anyway, it's just the day you spend with a hangover and indigestion, watching another Bond movie... hmm

We left our DDs for 4 days to go to NY when they were 3 & 2. They stayed with doting GPs, who spoiled them rotten and waited on them hand and foot. We also had 2 family holidays with them that year.

A few people judged us... as if those whole 72 hours (gasp) could somehow, some way, possibly wreak and negate the thousands and thousands of hours we'd happily spent together as a family.

Yep...those whole 72 hours could ruin everything. Everything, I tell you hmm

Flojo1979 Fri 05-Oct-12 22:22:45

I'm not buying the whole its our last trip alone nonsense. If u can leave 2 kids then I don't see why u won't leave 3.

Your brother is an idiot, however if u have plastered all over your fb page that u r going away etc then YABU not to expect ppl to post on your page however they see fit. Bit like AIBU!

HecateHarshPants Fri 05-Oct-12 22:25:04

Oh, tell him to go fuch himeslf

joyjac Fri 05-Oct-12 22:32:37

Flojo where does it say the OP plastered all over fb that they were going away?

Smeghead Fri 05-Oct-12 22:55:48

If u can leave 2 kids then I don't see why u won't leave 3.

Well presumably they are going to sacrificing such trips in order to have DC3. Babies cost money and I would think that the main reason that they wont go again for a good few years will be money, and the side issue of baby sitters. I speak from experience when I say that finding a family member who will take care of 2 children for a few days is a hell of a lot easier than finding one who will have 3, especially if one of those is a baby.

Smeghead Fri 05-Oct-12 22:56:33

joy She didnt, did she? I read it that the "D"B plastered it all over FB, not the OP.

Flojo1979 Fri 05-Oct-12 23:01:02

Joy that's why I said if she did.

Pandemoniaa Sat 06-Oct-12 02:24:43

I'm not buying the whole its our last trip alone nonsense

I don't recall the OP asking you to buy into anything. Let alone what you very rudely describe as "nonsense". She was merely saying that this was probably going to be their last big holiday without her dcs before she has a third child. Which seems entirely reasonable to me. What isn't reasonable totally is her brother's decision to post inflammatory nonsense about this proposed holiday on Facebook.

Incidentally, is there some sort of txt spk virus going round? It's all over MN like a rash right now.

Thumbwitch Sat 06-Oct-12 02:37:46

YANBU and I think whoever suggested that he's jealous that his own time with your DPs is being "taken over" by real children (as opposed to his manchild self) has the answer.

What a pathetic weevil he is.

I think your DC will have a lovely time, so long as your "D"B doesn't fuck it up for them by sulking all over the place - but perhaps your DPs will prioritise your DC over the selfish manchild.

I would comment purely factually on his FB for record-straightening purposes - that you are leaving late on Boxing Day and will be back after a few days - let others then see what a manipulative brat he's being.

And have a lovely time!

catgirl1976 Sat 06-Oct-12 08:17:28

Have come to this late but he is a twunt.

Have a nice time in NYC.

Figgygal Sat 06-Oct-12 08:19:46

I have only one comment........can I come? grin

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 08:29:36

I also don't understand why DC three will mean no more trips alone? But that's not the point. Your brother is very rude...but I am being judgey too and wouldn't go to New York without my DC.

catgirl1976 Sat 06-Oct-12 08:34:12

Maybe the OP won't be able to afford trips to NYC with 3 DC?

Not that it matters.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 08:45:48

that wouldn't stop her taking two now though?

JeanHarlot Sat 06-Oct-12 08:47:37

Last Xmas we left our 3 kids with my DPs for 12 days!! It was hard on us, but the kids had an absolute ball!! They got spoiled rotten and got to play with their cousins everyday! We thought it would've been a lot harder trying to keep 3 kids quiet on a plane from Australia to the UK. I hadn't met DH's family until then. Many might say we were selfish, but it certainly hasn't damaged our lot and we will be taking them over to the UK for 3 weeks next year now that they are that bit older. You go and enjoy yourself. YANBU. Your brother is probably jealous and being a twat.

WofflingOn Sat 06-Oct-12 08:54:47

My childless, single younger brother gave me a lot of unsolicited advice on breastfeeding and birthing when I was expecting DC1.
I love my brother dearly, but sometimes he is an arse and I tell him so.
Your DB sounds much less likeable, if he were mine I'd be kicking his arse rather than telling him. Don't let him get to you, your children will have a lovely time for the few days you are away.

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:00:29

I wouldn't and couldn't leave my kids and go to a different country. My DCs are used to me always being there and if anything happened to them and they needed to go to hospital or anything which is quite likely with my 2 they'd want mum.
However if u were my sister I wouldn't be plastering stuff on FB, totally BU.

charlottehere Sat 06-Oct-12 09:03:55

Your db is an arse.

charlottehere Sat 06-Oct-12 09:04:51

Your trip sounds lovley - enjoy. IMO you are not leaving dcs at xmas, its all over by boxing day!

GragPop Sat 06-Oct-12 09:07:44

Just call him a poo head.

margerykemp Sat 06-Oct-12 09:08:36

He's toxic- remove him from your newsfeed.

exoticfruits Sat 06-Oct-12 09:10:36

Have a lovely time. Just ignore him completely-don't bother to reply.

DilysPrice Sat 06-Oct-12 09:14:52

Have a lovely time. If I were your mother I would be ripping your 'D'B a new one.

dysfunctionalme Sat 06-Oct-12 09:15:04

Your brother is being very nasty and tbh I would find it hard to maintain any sort of relationship with him.

You need to block him from your FB and let him stew in this on his own.

Does it help you to know I left my 6 month old for 8 days while I took the other child on holiday to another country?

MoomieAndFreddie Sat 06-Oct-12 09:22:16

omg Thumbwitch! I actually LOLLED at "pathetic weevil" - its like you know him personally pmsl.

Well there has been more developments, he has now announced (again, via FB) that its not actually so much about the kids but more that he thinks the money would be "better spent on life improvements" - namely, towards a deposit on our own house.

Am speechless Tbh.

TeeBee Sat 06-Oct-12 09:24:21

Oh, I would so respond and show him up for the twat he is. You must be a much nicer person than me.

armedtotheteeth Sat 06-Oct-12 09:25:10

Dh and I had a long weekend abroad before dc2 arrived and same again before dc3. We had a great time and so did the dc and the grandparents. Ignore your brother and have fun in New York!

TeeBee Sat 06-Oct-12 09:26:48

Bloody hell, surely you must respond. I'd say 'Investing in my marriage is more important than investing in bricks'...then show him up for the twat he is.

whois Sat 06-Oct-12 09:27:44

1. It's not actually over Christmas
2. Your kids will love having a treat at granny and granddad
3. Your brother is a massive twat to post that. I'd call him and ask him about his comments. Say that you are hurt and sad that he cares so little for your relationship.

Pagwatch Sat 06-Oct-12 10:11:05

Could you post

"thank you for your comments. I would like to say that your advice will be considered and taken on board but posting opinionated guff on Facebook about my private life inclines me to the view that you have the intelligence of a weevil, the empathy of a piranha, the tact of Bernard Manning and the manners of a wet fart.
Perhaps if you had voiced your views to me I could have some respect for you but blabbing like an emotionally incontinent Jeremy Kyle guest forces me to ignore your rambling, uninformed nonsense.'

Pagwatch Sat 06-Oct-12 10:11:51

I had to nick weevil. It's very apt.

Smeghead Sat 06-Oct-12 10:19:07

I wouldnt be doing any replies on FB, just ringing him up and asking WTAF he thinks he is doing and fucking dare he post shit like that about me! Why bother with Passive Aggressive when plain old Aggressive will do?!

Smeghead Sat 06-Oct-12 10:19:29

how dare he..

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Sat 06-Oct-12 10:21:00

Your bro is totes well jell
And a tosser.
Have a nice time

Bunbaker Sat 06-Oct-12 10:24:06

Why don't you just defriend him.

Thumbwitch Sat 06-Oct-12 10:28:50

Oh I do like Pag's reply - and happy to have supplied the oh-so-appropriate weevil! grin

He's an interfering, condescending idiot. Ignore him.

OhCobblers Sat 06-Oct-12 10:38:40

I would pay good money to see you post Pagwatch's reply (from 10:11:05) On Facebook grin and no YANBU!

He sounds very toxic and opinionated!
What business is it off his and why on earth would he plaster such stuff on FB.
Delete him, he is obviously jealous that you have a family yet he only has items.

We all need a break at times and your dc will love spending time at their gps.

flippinada Sat 06-Oct-12 10:55:48

Yanbu. Your brother sounds like gobshite and spoilt brat. There's a saying when it comes to folk like him - empty vessels make the most noise .

Quote me on that if you like smile

foslady Sat 06-Oct-12 11:35:27

oh FGS - you have a home! And you only live once - your name is on the deeds is not going to give you and your dh memories......or help keep your marriage healthy - a trip to NY is. What's the point of owning a home if you split up because you can't afford to be happy???
And it's your life, your money - tell him to go do one!

differentnameforthis Sat 06-Oct-12 13:14:15

There must be more to it - is it because he wanted to see them & they'll be away?

I'm sure he knows where his own parents live!

BookieMonster Sat 06-Oct-12 13:22:01

Your brother is a twat. Go and have a lovely time, safe in the knowledge that your DC are being spoiled rotten.

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