to put my 7 year old back in nappies?

(53 Posts)
SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 12:22:53

She has an underactive bladder and is on 2 different medications, one of which is to stop her producing wee during the night. This worked for a month and she was completely dry at night for the first time ever however since starting back at school she has not had a single dry night wetting once or twice every night.

I have been told putting her back in nappies will affect her confidence but with the weather turning I can't keep up with the washing and drying especially on night's like last night when she wet both her quilts and her pillows.

algor Fri 05-Oct-12 12:30:16

Ask her what she would like to do, if she doesnt want PJ pants (dont call them nappies to her face) then you should stick to washing. I have 3 fleece sleeping bags for my 11yo ds, these are easily washed and dry very quickly.
Its really hard to keep up with the washing but I'd rather struggle than dent his confidence. Every now and then he does ask to wear PJ pants so he can get a good nights sleep, then its a luxury not to have to strip a bed in the morning!

No, you cant just put her back in nappies, you need to get the problem sorted.

My best friend has the same problem with her little girl who is 8 but gradually she is getting there. Have you been to the doctor for a refurral to the incontinence clinic. My friends DD was given an alarm which goes off in the night at the first sign of any damp.....it's been a long drawn out process but she is getting there.

I know its awful, I had a similar problem when DS was about the same age when he kept pooing in his pants - very wearing and frustrating - but no, dont put her in nappies as she will just get used to weeing in the night and the situation wont get resolved.

Agree though, crap time of year to be sorting out sheets every day.

LadyInDisguise Fri 05-Oct-12 12:37:17

Have a word with her and see how she feels about it. It might well be that being woken up every night in a wet bed is much less appealing that a PJ pants.

Lost of children still need nappies at night at that age. dc2 certainly does as do quite a few of his friends.

Machadaynu Fri 05-Oct-12 12:40:27

I used to have the odd wet night for quite a long time, although my mum says I could be dry at night from two.

Anyway, I felt bad enough about it without having to go back into nappies - nothing was ever said, my sheets just got changed. I think I would have felt really low if I'd had to go in nappies.

There was once talk of some medicine for it, but I never took any, and I grew out of it. Every night must be hard to deal with though!

Please don't. My nearly 9 year wets almost every night. I tried pull-ups a while ago and it got even worse as shed just lay and wee in them. It doesn't help sad

We have mattress covers and a waterproof Duvet. Its an absolute pain in the arse and also makes DS sweaty, but I don't see what else we can do.

When he goes to stay with his GP, we send some of those night time pants or he worries too much that he will wet himself (which he invariably does).

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 12:45:12

Betty dd is already under the specialist at the urology clinic which is why I said she is on 2 different medications.

Dd doesn't wake when she's wet. It's me that wakes her when I check and discover she's wet. She will sleep all night in a wet bed then end up with nappy rash all over her stomach and upper legs where she's lay in the wet patch. She would be upset by pj pants but she is so distressed when she realizes she's wet the bed that I don't know what to do for the best.

Wolfiefan Fri 05-Oct-12 12:46:13

Poor you and her.
I bought a waterproof set for my son when he had a medical issue. It included covers for mattress and duvet and pillow. Not a solution but could help?
Wake her and do a dream wee!(When you go to bed get her on the toilet and see if you can get her to go.) may tire her or break your back if you lift her?!
Alarm? Friend had one of these. Wear 2 pairs pants. It clips to outer pants and sounds when they start to get wet.
Pull up type pants? How wet is she? Tena lady?
Sorry trying to think of everything.
Plus the obvious. Bath every morning to check she doesn't get sore. Poor love.

Wolfiefan Fri 05-Oct-12 12:46:35

Sorry x post

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 12:49:10

Sleeping bags are a good idea but have been tried and she hates being confined and doesn't sleep same with the plastic quilt covers [pulls hair out]

whats4teamum Fri 05-Oct-12 12:50:28

Have you tried these sheets
www.amazon.co.uk/Brolly-Sheets-Single-Mattress-Protector/dp/B003UE3F64
I know where you are with the constant washing. You could have a few of these and hopefully whip the wet one off and replace with a dry one without having to change the entire bed. They hold up to 2 litres.

LadyInDisguise Fri 05-Oct-12 12:51:21

That's why you need to let her chose whether she wants the PJ pants or not.

And then agree on what is the best way to handle it with your consultant. I am guessing here that if she doesn't wake up at all anyway, the pants won't make a big difference as to whether she stays dry or not.

piedpiper4 Fri 05-Oct-12 12:52:38

My dd (8) has just stopped wearing pull ups, but we called them 'Secret Knickers'. She was happy to wear them and never had an issue with it, I think because we never referred to them as nappies etc, so they became a little more acceptable.
She's just gone dry as a very acceptable side affect of having her tonsils out! but before this she was wet every night etc too.
Good luck with it whatever you decide. It seems there are lots of us on here who share your worries.

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 12:55:45

Last drink is at 6, tablet to stop urine production at 7 then wee and bed at 8. She has a dream wee between 9.30 and 10 and occasionally she's already wet the bed and again at 12 again she's sometimes already wet. Then between midnight and 6am she always wets the bed.

I will ask about an alarm next time we are back at the hospital but that's not for a couple of months.

Thanks all for taking the time to read and reply. I really appreciate it

foreverondiet Fri 05-Oct-12 12:56:03

My 6.5 year old DS1 has overactive bladder taking oxybutinin which if he takes keeps him dry in the day. He wears night time pull ups - have tried without but he doesn't wake if wet. Better to wear pull ups than sleep in wet bed.

I don't agree with betty above - also I won't medicate my child unless necessary - in year 2 necessary be dry in day, but not necessary to be dry at night.

Ask her what she wants but I would be pushing towards pull ups. Could have a challenge of weighing pull up each morning and reward if its under a certain weight (ie to incentivise to wee if she wakes up in night)

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 13:00:29

Whats4 thanks for the link. We have something similar atm but was looking to buy new ones.

Confused - yes do ask about the alarm, it is working well for my friends DD although like I said a long drawn out process. Her DD is a sound sleeper and so she doesnt wake when she wets the bed either.

DameFanny Fri 05-Oct-12 13:03:11

Sheets and blankets would be better than a duvet - and cheaper too so you can have lots of changes.

But, if she's not waking when wet at all, a night time alarm is the thing. We had to do this with ds at around the same age, and he's mostly dry now.

Like someone said, pullups were just encouraging him to let it happen. If you're with a clinic already, get them to loan you an alarm. They come with progress charts a well, so the child can feel a bit more in control of the process.

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 13:04:00

Dd is on Detrusitol XL forever for daytime wetting. It worked wonders and she's nowhere near as bad as she was.

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 13:21:31

My DD was on oxy and desmo, and was still wetting almost every night. She didn't stop wetting until 12y9mo.

And it happened literally overnight. The enuresis clinic said it was because her body had finally started producing the hormone she had been missing up to that point.

My best tips? Bed mats. When wet, whip them out from underneath sleeping child, lift them for a dream wee, and while they're on the loo add a new one. At one point I had 4 sleeping bags that we used instead of duvets - a sleeping bag easily fits in a washing machine.

I also had two 'layers' of sheets on the bed - my bed making went : waterproof sheet, polycotton sheet, bed mat, waterproof sheet, polycotton sheet, bedmat. Meant if top layer had got wet, I could just whip it off and bung it in the machine without having to remake the bed.

Made it much easier in the end.

DD is now 14y6m, and hasn't had a nighttime accident once since 12y9m when the hormone production kicked in. No meds since either.

catwomanlikesmeatballs Fri 05-Oct-12 13:23:18

What about continence pads?

CouthyMowWearingOrange Fri 05-Oct-12 13:23:40

The alarms will ONLY work if the wetting is solely down to deep sleeping. If the wetting is because of non-production of the particular hormone needed for nighttime dryness, the alarm won't help, and will unnecessarily disturb their sleep.

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Fri 05-Oct-12 13:36:44

Lol that sounds like my set up couthy plastic sheet, normal sheet, plastic sheet, normal sheet, padded waterproof sheet, normal sheet. When wet pull layer off throw in the bathroom to deal with in the morning.

Interesting to hear about the alarm, I will definitely ask about it but won't expect miracles.

Also slight dur moment over the sleeping bag. Dd's only has a zip that opens halfway down so have only just realized that you ment ones that can be fully opened and used as a cover. I think that's worth looking into.

DameFanny Fri 05-Oct-12 13:37:43

Ah, but the alarm doesn't just wake them up couthy - it makes the whole body tense when wee starts to flow, which is something the body eventually learns to do without the noise - in the same way that Pavlov got the dogs to salivate and eat a meringue when he rang a bell.

So what the alarm is doing is training the body unconsciously to hold onto wee, rather than just let it go. hormones help, but are separate from the need to have a body that doesn't just let go of wee in your sleep - else I'd never be able to drink chamomile tea last thing at night!

lljkk Fri 05-Oct-12 13:51:42

I would consult with her what she wants to do, talk thru the options carefully & try hard to go with what she prefers. If I were her, Overnight pullups would be vastly preferable to walking up in a puddle. You can combine them with some of the other measures suggested.

We rejected the alarm because my sleep was disturbed enough,I really didn't want the extra wakeups, or the whole rest of the household to be woken up by it.

lljkk Fri 05-Oct-12 13:52:03

Plenty of stories about the alarms only working briefly or not at all.

Pictureperfect Sun 07-Oct-12 21:21:49

I had a friend who still wet as a teen, she used to sleep on an absorbent mat to protect the bed. There are lots of things like incos, and other absorbant things, I read ones aimed at pets is great and they are cheap on the site halfcost at the moment

shockers Sun 07-Oct-12 21:48:51

I'm rubbish at linking, but google incontinence Kylies. They are fabric bed pads with rubber backing. We used them for years with DD... in fact she still sleeps with one on her bed now, age 13, because she has the odd accident because of her epilepsy.

You can just chuck the kylie in the wash in the morning, with nightwear.

I always have a plastic sheet on the bed too, in case of really massive wees, but more often than not, the kylie sufficed.

I wet my bed until I was around 11, due to my bladder not growing (although I've just spotted the post about tonsilitus, which is very interesting and fits in vaguely with my bedwetting history). My mum never made a fuss about the washing, for which I am eternally glad. I was crippled with embarrassment every morning when I woke up in my wet bed.

The alarm didn't work for my DS. He slept right through it and it only woke me up. In the end I started dreaming that the buzzer was going off!

He is now in his early twenties and still has not had a dry night without medication. He is on oxybutinin and desmopressin and these do seem to work most of the time. If I am feeling well enough next spring, we will try to see if he can manage without his meds during a sunny period (for getting vast amounts of washing dry).

I've got several of these for my toddler to stop her mattress from getting a soaking from leaking night nappies

http://www.littlewoods.com/downland-terry-waterproof-mattress-protector/402149123.prd?browseToken=%2fq%2fmattress+protector

Not hot, sweaty or rustly. IMO you can't actually tell its on the bed

I've also got a few of these I put under her to hopefully catch the worst before the bed sheets get it. I slept on one when I was heavily pregnant and again, not hot, rustly, sweaty, nor does it move around the bed

http://www.amazon.co.uk/NRS-Washable-Incontinence-Protection-Size/dp/B006ZL1JCQ/ref=sr_1_6?s=drugstore&ie=UTF8&qid=1349644584&sr=1-6

I've washed both plenty of times on a 60 degree wash and also tumble dried for good measure and they're still going strong

Also, if you can get your hands on a 3 tog duvet- M&S sell them but ££ they fit in a normal washing machine, wash well on a 60 degree wash and tumble dry nicely as well

Ideas for your dd??

BellaTalbert Sun 07-Oct-12 22:34:23

My dd 10yrs is also on oxy and desmo and currently is wearing pull ups as she is suffering from having constant broken sleep which is effecting her at school. We are due back to see the consultant in November to look into yet another medication ( I have held off as think that what she is taking is bad enough). My daughter was the one who asked to wear the pull ups as she felt really tired at school, she can wet up to three times a night. The amount of washing is pretty horrendous when she isn't wearing pull ups and believe me when I say that we have tried the alarms, changing fluid intake etc etc. No doubt she will grow out of it sooner or later. Ask your daughter what she wants to do.

manicinsomniac Sun 07-Oct-12 22:36:44

Hmmm, tricky one but I think, depending on your circumstances, I probably disagree with everyone else and would use the pull ups regardless of what your daughter thinks of them.

I get the occasional wet bed from my children and even that is a pain, especially as a full time working single mum. If I had to go through it every night there's no way I'd keep up.

So, unfortunately, if it were my daughter, she would have to suck it up and take a little knock to her self esteem to make life worth living. I'm sure there are ways of making the pull ups seem more palatable (like the secret knickers terminology someone used above)

If on the other hand you are a SAHM or have a husband to share the load then I'd be more inclined to go down the washing route.

McHappyPants2012 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:41:02

I would, explain to her the dry nights are designed to help children who have wet wetting problems, like her and it will be better than wet knickers, bed ect.

My ds is 6 and still in dry nights

mymatemax Sun 07-Oct-12 22:42:34

Firstly she needs to be reassured that this is because of her medical condition & not something she is in control of.
So vwhatever lessens the impact of her condition on all of you is the way to go, if that means some form of nightime incontinence pants then thats fine.
Explain the options & let her chose.

Bigwheel Sun 07-Oct-12 22:48:32

Could you not go and see your gp and get her dose increased?

MakeHayNotStraw Sun 07-Oct-12 22:53:00

manicinsommniac I'm not sure you could describe being put back in nappies against her will as a "little knock to self-esteem", more likely a humiliating and demoralising experience, at an age (and with a medical condition) where self-esteem could well be low anyway. I know it was for me and I was a little younger. I would wash any number of times a day to spare my dd feeling like this if she preferred to avoid nappies at that age. But hey-ho, each to their own. I'm just glad that my mother didn't view things as you do.

princessnumber2 Sun 07-Oct-12 22:56:21

I thought it was really common up till about 6 or 7? All the stuff I've read says that if the hormone hasn't kicked in, then all the alarms and waking them up to wee won't work.

My dd (6) wears pull ups and always soaks it - often to the point where it leaks - so we use an aquasolari bed pad on top of regular mattress protector and sheet (sorry can't link you'll have to google). It's great. Soft, not crunchy, not too sweaty (tho not same as cotton) and dries quickly on radiator in winter.

We've just been referred to enuresis clinic but I'm not planning on taking off the pull ups for a while.

GrimAndHumourless Mon 08-Oct-12 00:24:48

have you done the increasing fluid intake during the day, avoiding red and brown drinks like ribena and cola, to stretch bladder and thus increase volume that can be held? get teacher onside to remind her to drink lavishly during school hours and thrust a drink into her hand at pick up time

do you do wee/teeth/wee at night (double-voiding)?

I am surprised you are lifting/dream weeing, not recommended IIRC

finally, is she constipated - this can put pressure on the bladder

MoelFammau Mon 08-Oct-12 01:40:24

You're all such fab parents. My own mother beat me severely every day for bed-wetting. I have a bladder issue but was never taken to a doctor. I was 13 before things improved.

I think you're all wonderful for being so caring.

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Mon 08-Oct-12 08:29:36

Bigwheel dd isn't due back for a few months unfortunately.

Grim dd takes two bottles of drink into school now, one for morning one for afternoon which her teacher is fab about reminding her to drink. I don't agree with coke so she doesn't get it very often or more than a small glass. She does have a cup off tea on a sat/sunday morning.

I will try doing double wee's at night and see if that helps. I spoke to dd Friday and explained I'm struggling and asked if we could put her back in her special night knickers. As expected she got very upset and I told her it completely up to her. If she wanted I would by more sheets and covers. She's worried about what her friends will think so we are going to keep trying till half term sob

Moel I'm sorry for your experiences bladder problems are no-ones fault and a child should never ever feel bad for having an accident no matter how annoying it is for the adult! thanks

InVeryveryBadTaste Mon 08-Oct-12 08:46:20

Have you tried the ERIC website? My daughters problem is soiling not wetting but had the same issue re pull-ups when she was 5. I felt it would harm her self esteem which was rock bottom anyway but the constant accidents were also mortifying for her - rock & hard place! In the end she did wear them on really bad days/nights but we didn't call them pull-ups because of the babyish connotations. It's really really hard as people don't talk about bowel and bladder issues and so kids are even more embarassed.

InVeryveryBadTaste Mon 08-Oct-12 08:50:26

And manucinsomniac an occasional wet bed is different and I'm assuming not a medical issue in your house?
For a child with wetting or soiling issues their self esteem is nonexistent anyway due to the secretive manner in which this issue is discussed (or not) and dealt with. To make the suggestion you have, would seem to suggest you have no real experience of the OP's situation.

InVeryveryBadTaste Mon 08-Oct-12 08:52:18

Oh and scma there is a children's forum bit on Eric where your dd can see how many children are affected by wetting etc. sometimes it helps them to know they are not alone. Hope things get better for you both soonsmile

Boomerwang Mon 08-Oct-12 08:57:23

I agree that medication needs to be looked at, but in the mean time my suggestion is buy some kylies (approx £10-£15 each from incontinence websites) and let your child sleep either nude from the waist down or wearing pants that can easily be removed. The kylie will do a good job of keeping the urine off the body and off the bed and is easy to swiftly change without disturbing sleep too much. Use a layer over the top like a thick sheet that isn't tucked in so that can be easily removed and replaced also.

Since the wetting is solely down to medication, treat this as a necessary task and give plenty of reassurance until you are both used to it and don't see it as an issue.

bigsnugglebunny Mon 08-Oct-12 09:06:49

Honestly, I would talk it through with your DD and her consultant.

DS1 had the same problem, and because it wasn't down to his sleep patterns - we didn't go down the alarm route. He just stayed in Pyjama pants until he was dry. He was 11 years 1 month when he finally started having dry nights, literally overnight - and over a year on, he hasn't had a wet night since. smile

I agree with boom kylies are really good

Emandlu Mon 08-Oct-12 09:11:14

I wet the bed until I was a teenager. It was awful. I still remember my dad making me wear a nappy aged about 8 - it was so humiliating.

I had no idea that I had wet the bed until I woke up, all I wanted was some reassurance it would eventually be ok, but I wasn't allowed to wake mum up so would spend the rest of the night trying to keep warm under the bit of quilt that was dry and trying to stay off the wet bit of sheet. Then in the morning I would take my bedding downstairs and wait to be told off again by mum.
My brother on the other hand was taken to the doctor and had alarms etc.

I appreciate it must be hard for parents dealing with kids who wet the bed, but from the child's point of view it is embarrassing, you can't tell anyone at school, can't go on sleepovers, and you feel so frustrated because there is nothing you can do about it.

I wish I'd had parents who had explained it was medical and who hadn't punished me.

Hmm, I've written a very me, me, me post - I just wanted to try to explain from a child's pov.

Mcblubber Mon 08-Oct-12 11:21:53

Hi,
I wanted to let you know what worked for us. Our child of a similar age has a similar problem.

Small bladder, over active bladder, not emptying bladder fully (weak muscles) and not producing hormone that reduces urine output at night.

We found oxybutinin taken in the morning worked best although it was suggested it was given at night.

We withheld fluids from 6pm (sips only if very thirsty) but gave at least 1000ml during the day.

We gave desmopressin at 7pm (pee) bed at 8pm (pee).

Then against advice from urology clinic I lifted her at 10.30 - 11pm before I went to bed. Like you I couldn't face all the washing.
I felt she had to break the habit of voiding (peeing) unconciously.

Now a year on we have stopped the desmopressin (presume you have the same or similar meds) and the lifting and only have occasional accidents and mostly just wets her pyjammas before she catches herself.
We did stop the oxybutinin when we forgot to take it on holiday and the bed wetting started again so I went back to the beginning - both meds and lifting for a month.
If she does have a drink late I lift her.

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad Mon 08-Oct-12 21:41:02

Thanks again for everyones views and advice. Put dd to bed at 8 did wee, teeth, wee, Bed. Just checked on her and she's wet the bed sad I just wanted to say when talking to dd I don't call them nappies I call them night knickers I also never ever tell her off, show I'm upset or frustrated. I always calm her, send her off to the toilet whilst I change the bed then clean her off tell her it doesn't matter and I love her. The only time I have ever told her off was when she started trying to hide her accidents by making the bed. She was told that was never acceptable, I love her and she could have hundreds of accidents and I wouldn't be cross or upset because it's not her fault but she must never ever hide it from me.

She also doesn't miss out on sleepovers because I speak to the parents (my friends) and they allow her to put her night nickers on and take them off somewhere private and safe

Invery I will go look at ERIC now and boomer I will also look for kylies.

When we are back at the hospital I will ofcorse be asking for the meds to be reviewed but right now I'm just trying to muddle along as best I can.

Joiningthegang Mon 08-Oct-12 21:59:20

Ask her - but I would be trying to persuade her to go back in pj pants

Emandlu Mon 08-Oct-12 22:08:26

I wasn't suggesting you did those things Slightly - you sound like exactly the sort of mum I wish I'd had as a little girl.

I hope things get sorted for you both somehow.

Mcblubber Mon 08-Oct-12 22:44:31

Best wishes, you are doing all you can.
She will grow out of it.
I found double sheeting helped with changes.
Waterproof and sheet x two or three at our worst and we used a waterproof pillow protector too.
My wee one was fab she used to get up shower and change, strip the top layer and put it in the bath and go back to bed without waking me.

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