Failure to remove a dead mouse

(61 Posts)
bubbles11 Fri 05-Oct-12 10:23:06

Friday mornings are manic for me getting 2 children to nursery and also on Fridays I try to hoover the house (husband does not like the hoover going when he is home) and sort out formula milk/ something for dinner etc before going to work
Almost finished the hooovering this morning (one room to go) babies in the car, failed to get something out of the freezer for dinner because as i was going to get it i saw a dead mouse which our cat obviously brought in lying on the carpet in the room between me and the freezer (the only room i had not hoovered)
it is both pathetic and lazy of me to have left a voicemessage for husband at work saying when you get home can you pick up the dead mouse for me isn't it. he knows I have a total hatred of mice (dead or alive) but still this is pathetic of me. Been trying to concentrate since i got to work but wondering whether i can creep home at lunchtime to ask the neighbour to do it. trouble is it is a 20 min drive each way to get home & back

Svrider Fri 05-Oct-12 10:25:18

What's done is is done
Or not
All men have their uses, perhaps your dh will be marvellous at dead mice removal
Yanbu

bubbles11 Fri 05-Oct-12 10:27:40

thanks svirder
i do hate mice but i am thinking maybe if i was not so stressed about the clock i could have summoned up the ability to do it myself
but i hate hate hate mice with a passion
(give me a big black hairy spider any day and i wont even wince)
pathetic

i will have to go home at lunchtime and do it myself, that will settle it

LadyMargolotta Fri 05-Oct-12 10:29:48

(husband does not like the hoover going when he is home) - wtf!

Who are you married to, Mariah Carey?

bubbles11 Fri 05-Oct-12 10:32:19

he is very stressed
always has been

his mother (my mother in law) told me just after our first baby to make sure I got all the housework done on my day off (1 work 4 days per week) so the weekends were free. i managed this after the first baby but it is much harder to do this with two

anyway that is off the point

minipie Fri 05-Oct-12 10:32:31

Ah bless you. Everyone is allowed one irrational fear I think!

On the plus side, if you can summon up the courage to deal with it, your DH will be impressed smile

I would suggest gloves plus many layers of paper towel, then you won't really feel it as you pick it up. Or use a trowel if you have one so no need to touch it at all.

Do not do it! If you are horrified by mice, he should do it. In our house, DH gets rid of spiders, and I get rid of slugs and mice, it's a kindness not to make the other person pick up what they don't like. If DH had sent me a message asking me to remove one of the above when I got home, I'd gladly do it, I certainly wouldn't call him lazy! I would expect the same respect with regards to spiders (except the little buggers would have disappeared by then hmm).

minipie Fri 05-Oct-12 10:33:26

Oh and sounds like your MIL needs to butt out! smile but as you say that's off the point.

LadyMargolotta Fri 05-Oct-12 10:35:01

Well let's hope he does have some uses regarding dead mice removal, he sounds a bit delicate otherwise.

If not, I would suggest LEAVE THE BASTARD.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 05-Oct-12 10:36:07

Not unreasonable at all, I would do the same.

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 10:36:54

Who are you married to, Mariah Carey?

Tea through nostrils moment grin

OP, just pick it up in a tissue and drop it in the wheelie bin.

Did I read that wrong or were you hoovering the house whilst the babies were in the car? confused

X post, I was a bit confused about the hoovering too... And now the housework! So, not only does he not do any, he can't even bring himself to be in the house whilst his muck is being cleaned up?! confusedhmm I think you have deeper issues than a dead mouse tbh confused
Btw, my DH is a bugger with housework too, he hardly does any, but then he is happy to live in filthhmmgrin

TheVermiciousKnid Fri 05-Oct-12 10:38:37

Why go back at lunch time? The mouse isn't going to go anywhere (unless it's a zombie mouse), surely it can wait till evening.

Re. the housework, your MIL etc, I think the dead mouse is the least of your problems!

Mintyy Fri 05-Oct-12 10:38:57

Please invite your mother in law to come round and do the hoovering every week on your day off, while you go out with the children. Will you do that for me?

Gigondas Fri 05-Oct-12 10:42:20

Yanbu about the mouse but wtaf about dh and hoovering and housework. Did you sign up to marry another child?

bubbles11 Fri 05-Oct-12 10:43:00

The hoovering / housework whilst the children are in the car in the mornings is one of my deepest shames. not denying it, yes it makes me feel crap, yes even tho they are sat on the driveway (safe, car locked, detached house etc) i still hate it but can see no other way round it. excuses, cannot bring myself to get into more of a discussion about it

perceptive comments about my marriage but that is a whole other thread

am going home at lunchtime to sort it out

thanks for the reply and humour which made me smile which is good !

Mintyy Fri 05-Oct-12 10:44:39

bubbles - don't go back at lunch time. Please please please don't. And why do you lock your children in your car when you are hoovering? Come on!

NellyJob Fri 05-Oct-12 10:44:45

get a really thick handful of kitchen roll and use that to pick it up, it will be fine.
as for 'husband doesn't like the hoover going' and your Mil's advice -ffs sometimes I am grateful to be a single mother.......

BBQ tongs are the tool de jour.

LadyMargolotta Fri 05-Oct-12 10:47:42

Don't go back at lunchtime. Leave it to him to deal with.

Relax at lunchtime. it sounds like you need it.

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 11:12:18

The hoovering / housework whilst the children are in the car in the mornings is one of my deepest shames. not denying it, yes it makes me feel crap, yes even tho they are sat on the driveway (safe, car locked, detached house etc) i still hate it but can see no other way round it. excuses, cannot bring myself to get into more of a discussion about it

I'm sorry but how the fuck do you get a 2yr old and a 3yr old (I believe that's the age of your kids?) to sit happily in a car on their own, whilst you hoover through the entire house? confused

That's insane.

TheProvincialLady Fri 05-Oct-12 11:15:56

Sweetheart, something is deeply wrong if your husband is so 'stressed' that you have to lock your toddlers in a car so that you can vacuum. I also don't understand why they can't just be in the house while you do it?

You do realise that 'stress' is his way of making sure you are responsible for all the shitwork? And why should you be?

WilsonFrickett Fri 05-Oct-12 11:16:44

You lock your kids in the car while you hoover.
Mainly because your MIL told you it was important to do all the housework at a time convenient to your DH.
Who doesn't like you hoovering.
You're going to make a 40 minute round trip at lunchtime to pick up a dead mouse because you're sure your husband won't.

Are you OK?

hmm

You are treated like a skivvy and the mouse is your main concern?

TheProvincialLady Fri 05-Oct-12 11:18:05

BTW I would disagree with you that your children are safe. If you are vacuuming, you have no idea whether they are awake, asleep, distressed, too hot, fighting, fiddling with the car controls etc etc. You wouldn't even hear if the window was smashed and someone got in - very unlikely though that scenario is, you just wouldn't. And this is a regular occurrence.

bubbles11 Fri 05-Oct-12 11:21:46

yes i know it is wrong to lock my children in the car even for 5 mins - not just wrong, very wrong and i will pay for it in years to come. They both hate the hoover and like listening to cd player in the car for 5 mins but that does not make it right
there are so manythings wrong on that front i dont want to think about it
infact the dead mouse starts to sound not so bad in context!
thanks for your replies
am off now to remove mouse (boss is not in till this afternoon so hopefully will get away with 40 min round trip)

WorraLiberty Fri 05-Oct-12 11:29:39

Then stop doing it.

And hoovering a room (no matter how small) putting the hoover away, grabbing your coat and getting into the car will take longer than 5 minutes.

Just stop doing it.

TheProvincialLady Fri 05-Oct-12 11:30:41

You can change that straight away you know. Put the cd on in a different room from where you are vacuuming. Neither of mine liked the vacuum when they were younger but it's a fact of like they need to get used to isn't it? Unlike your precious diddums DH... I'm sorry this is opening up such a can of worms for you.

LadyMargolotta Fri 05-Oct-12 11:33:06

My children didn't like the hoover much when they were little. But that didn't stop me doing it around then. They soon got used to it, and now even the three year old can help actually doing the hoovering sometimes.

Really wish you weren't planning to go home at lunchtime to see to the mousesad

Merrylegs Fri 05-Oct-12 11:33:14

Hoover the mouse up.

Then get him to empty the bag.

(You are quite mad btw.) <head tilt. said kindly>

You both sound very very stressed actually.

(My dog hates the hoover too. He buries his head under a cushion with his little tail sticking up in the air. Does your DH do the same?)

Tamoo Fri 05-Oct-12 11:34:45

Re. the hoovering thing. Kids don't realise housework is shit smile and they might like to join in. Could you give them a duster and a dustpan and brush and let them 'help'? My ds had a toy hoover at 3y-o it was one of his favourite toys.

LadyMargolotta Fri 05-Oct-12 11:37:04

ooh yes hoover the dead mouse upgrin
And when the hoover is blocked due to mouse, get him to use his Manly Skills to unblock it. Then tell him you are obviously incapable of correctly using a hoover so he should either
a) get a cleaner
b) do the hoovering himself
c) (my preferred option) get his mother to do it.

CremeEggThief Fri 05-Oct-12 11:44:43

YANBU, OP. Make your H do it.

I don't understand why you and your DC appear to be tip-toeing around him all the time. It is completely unreasonable that the only way you feel you can get the vacuuming done is by locking two small children in the car for a few minutes, and doing it before a day's work. And housework should be something you share equally, not something you run around spending all your time on on your precious day off.

How much longer can you keep this up? Is this any way to live? Can you think about how you want things to be from now on and then discuss it with your H?

perplexedpirate Fri 05-Oct-12 11:53:18

If I were you my husband would be getting that mouse for dinner, with a side of get-to-fuck salad.

PrincessSymbian Fri 05-Oct-12 11:56:01

Is his cock made of solid gold or something? There is no way that you should be doing all the housework on top of the kids and employment.
And your mother in law should not be telling you how to run your home!

PurplePidjin Fri 05-Oct-12 12:06:53

Wtf are you doing hoovering as part of the school run?

Saturday morning, dh takes kids to the park/swimming pool while you have a whip round. Or vice versa. Or, he behaves like a proper grown up and Deals With It. Kids are also old enough to start learning that sometimes boring stuff happens (obviously as long as they're in a safe place, which probably isn't the car!)

Or you could continue letting him be a diva who believes magic fairies do the housework...

ZiggyPlayedGuitar Fri 05-Oct-12 12:09:25

Hope you're ok and manage to deal with the mouse OP. your posts are quite worrying, sounds like you're being treated like a right skivvy.

squeakytoy Fri 05-Oct-12 12:11:20

dont hoover a dead mouse up for heavens sakes.. just get a dustpan and brush, sweep the body up, dump it in the dustbin.

it is a mouse, it is no more squeamish, dangerous, or difficult than it would be to pick a chicken up and put it into a roasting dish ready for the oven..

and as for putting the kids in the car while you do the housework... words fail me at the bizarreness of that..

MadBusLady Fri 05-Oct-12 12:25:32

Exactly what Wilson Frickett said. There's a bloody iceberg under here, isn't there.

No, YANBU by asking your DH to clear up a dead mouse when he knows you hate them. But you've since decided that YABU and are going to skivvy around anyway, so I guess I've missed the boat on that one.

OhThisIsJustGrape Fri 05-Oct-12 12:37:03

Please, please don't lock your children in the car whilst you Hoover. As pp said, you'd never hear a problem if it happened and what if you tripped carrying the Hoover down the stairs? A neighbour could report you for doing this if it happens as regularly as you say.

Your DH needs a swift kick up the arse - you're supposed to be a team but only one of you is doing all the shitwork sad

ZiggyPlayedGuitar Sat 06-Oct-12 06:58:52

How did it go OP? Did you go back at lunch or did your H do it for you?

ErikNorseman Sat 06-Oct-12 07:44:15

Op your life sounds incredibly stressful. Far more than a life should be. Why do you think that is? (Clue; you're married to it)

kilmuir Sat 06-Oct-12 07:55:56

Poor children.
Who cares that DH does not like hoovering? Whats more important, obeying him or childrens welfare?
Really am amazed at some peoples priorities

Nagoo Sat 06-Oct-12 07:59:38

what would happen if he came home and saw the mouse?

I am really worried about the pressure on a person who would do a 40 min trip to pick up a mouse she was phobic about picking up.

scrablet Sat 06-Oct-12 08:05:53

OP, hope you are ok. Please listen to posters on here, they are concerned for you, you sound to be in a very difficult situation.

saffronwblue Sat 06-Oct-12 08:06:14

You are bringing up another generation who are afraid of the Hoover? I hope you can see your way to maybe a few changes in the way things are done...
Hope mouse is gone by now.

Moln Sat 06-Oct-12 08:15:06

This is baffling, and it's not about the mouse at all is it.

What would happen if you didn't vacuum? What would DH do? The obvious thing seems that it wouldn't be nice because yyou lock your children in a car to do it and you feel terrible for doing this but do it anyway, is that becasue your fear of DH is greater?

Why can't your DH pick up the mouse? Is it because it'd be there meaning the house isn't clean enough?

Why does your MIL think she should tell you when to clean the house, it's far from normal.

What does "stressed" actually mean? My DH has been stressed but it doesn't mean I have to do things I have a phobia about nor lock my children away to ensure the house is clean. He might be a bit snappy that's it (and that's it for most people too)

Your use of language in your posts is telling, how you put yourself down and the negative words you use about yourself

Moln Sat 06-Oct-12 08:20:21

Oh and one question I missed. What happens if Dh hears the vacuum? Does he put his hands over his ear and start screaming or something else?

My dad hates the sound of the vacuum, he just lives with it though, goes into a different room, even does it himself at times if needs be. my mum never had to do it whilst he as out on tight timeslot. she didn't fear it not being done.

Nagoo - yes, that worried me too. What exactly is it that the OP is afraid of if she doesn't do the cleaning/hoovering/picking up a dead mouse sad

whois Sat 06-Oct-12 09:46:49

Fuck me, this screams "wrong, wrong, wrong" at me.

OP, why are you doing all the housework, why are you locking your children in the car, what are you so afraid of??? The relationship doesn't sound healthy. You husband sounds like he could turn out I be a bit of a nasty piece of work...???

NellyJob Sat 06-Oct-12 09:53:25

a deep reading of OP reveals that twice she has described herself as ' failing', twice as 'pathetic', once as 'lazy', and has asked people to confirm that opinion of herself.
OP is your husband abusive?

RuleBritannia Sat 06-Oct-12 10:09:39

NellyJob

I suspect that's what her husband calls her and possibly the MIL as well.

AreAllMenTheSame2 Sat 06-Oct-12 10:51:01

Rulebrittannia I totally agree... Also have a suspicion that op's husband is a man child

Miltonia Sat 06-Oct-12 11:01:02

Please don't do a 40 minute round trip to deal with the mouse. It isn't going anywhere.

I never like to use indoor dustpans/brushes/tongs for dead mice. I get a garden trowel and flick the mouse onto some newspaper. Put newspaper and mouse in plastic bag, tie and put in bin. Sorted. Usually DH sorts the dead mice though, I don't know what he does and don't like to ask.

The mouse sounds the least of your problems though.

shesariver Sat 06-Oct-12 11:30:10

As people have said this is not about a dead mouse and I think deep down you know that. I suspect its the straw that broke the camels back that prompted you to post here and subconsciously you are asking for help. I could be really off mark and if I am I apologise but I dont think I am. You know locking your children in the car to hoover is not normal but this behaviour seems prompted by a fear of what you DH will do if you dont pander to him. What would he do if you hoovered whilst he was in the house? And why is he not doing his share of the housework?

And clearly you are scared that if you dont go home at lunchtime and pick up said dead mouse there will be a reaction from him.

shesariver Sat 06-Oct-12 11:36:04

it is both pathetic and lazy of me to have left a voicemessage for husband at work saying when you get home can you pick up the dead mouse for me isn't it.

Now this is worrying. Why do you think its pathetic? If it was me I would either leave a jokey message with my DH "theres a surprise in the kitchen for you" something like that or I would expect him to just do it - after all its his house to. What are you so scared of, really??

WilsonFrickett Sat 06-Oct-12 11:49:56

OP, I think you've gone. I just wanted to say, if you ever wanted to come back and post again there are people here who will listen to you and support you through anything. That's all, really.

mrsminerva Sat 06-Oct-12 11:54:23

Bubbles11 the situation will not go away, it will only get worse and you are being unkind to yourself if you don't address it. This sounds like a deeply assymetric relationship.

Softlysoftly Sat 06-Oct-12 11:55:40

Worrying op really worrying you need help.

And unless your home is the size of a postage stamp I predict those children are in the car 30-45 minutes? How early do they have to get up to get ready, clean the house and be to school/work on time?

It's cruel sorry, you need to think about your kids and yourself and have a serious think.

Thumbwitch Sat 06-Oct-12 11:59:13

I could manage a mouse, probably but if it had been a rat I'd have been just the same. I can't get near rats, dead or alive. And to compound that issue, my house in the UK had rats in there 3 times - twice with visible corpses. Both times I had to get some useful male to remove them blush

MadBusLady Sat 06-Oct-12 12:33:43

I hope you come back here bubbles. sad

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