to quietly point out to a teacher that the way she spells my daughters name is incorrect

(111 Posts)
freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:41:51

I got a note today about an accident at school, the note was written by her class teacher and the spelling of her name was incorrect, I spoke to the teacher very quietly away from other parents to try and check that she did know that it was incorrect and it had simply been a mistake. There are different spellings of the name but we have always used the same one and DD is the only child with that name in the school. She almost shouted at me, to the point other parents turned to listen and said 'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?'

I really was quite surprised because all I had said was is this how her name appears on the register because the spelling is incorrect. I have heard other people complain about this teacher but I have never had a problem until today and it came as quite a surprise.

Was I wrong to point out the error? DD is a very young year 1 if that makes any difference to the answer.

auntpetunia Thu 04-Oct-12 22:44:17

YANBU I am 44 and only the other day had to pull some one who had documentation in front of them with my name spelt correctly and yet she still spelt it the "conventional" way....The teacher was well out of order and I would mention it to the head of her phase, so the Key stage 1 leader.

IneedAgoldenNickname Thu 04-Oct-12 22:45:06

SAid teacher sent home 2 notes with his name misspelled a couple of weeks ago. I told him, and he apologised but logged at me like I was mad at the same time. My friend said she didn't understand the issue and I shouldn't have said anything hmm

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Oct-12 22:45:38

'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?'

Seriously, she actually said that?

IneedAgoldenNickname Thu 04-Oct-12 22:45:49

Stupid auto correct, should say DS1's teacher

BeauNeidel Thu 04-Oct-12 22:46:23

I would mention it. What an ignorant thing to say. My DH is a bit obtuse in that way as well - gets all up in arms if his name is spelled incorrectly (think Mark/Marc but not!) but doesn't get why others get upset!

picnicbasketcase Thu 04-Oct-12 22:47:52

YANBU and I'm going to bring up the very same issue with DD's teacher when I get a moment. Different spellings on coat peg, table, books and drawer. confused very unreasonable of the teacher to shout at you.

santaisNOTathreat Thu 04-Oct-12 22:48:20

teacher are only human, they make mistakes.

As a mother of 2 children if a note came home saying there was an accident i would be more concerned about that than correct spelling

freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:49:00

that is exactly what she said worralliberty!

I don't normally worry about these things but this one was still bothering me this long later so I wanted to check I wasn't just nuts.

I just thought she'd say 'oh sorry I'll check everything has the correct spelling when I get chance' and that would be that so I was very surprised

Pourquoimoi Thu 04-Oct-12 22:49:35

YANBU to expect that a class teacher should know how to spell your child's name. It may be different in secondary when they see hundreds if kids but in primary they should know.

Perhaps a little forgiveness at the beginning of the year, but the teacher's attitude is shocking so doesn't deserve forgiveness I think.

Poledra Thu 04-Oct-12 22:50:10

Last year, I pointed out to DD2's teacher that they had misspelled her name. The teacher apologised, and she would change everything and that the misspelling had come to her on the register. All OK, everything changed as promised.

I was in school a week or so later when the head of KS1 came up to me to apologise because she was the one who had miscopied DD2's name from the school list.

You were so not in the wrong to point out the mistake, especially as it was done quietly and without fuss

Hassled Thu 04-Oct-12 22:50:32

Did the teacher write the note? Because it could well have been harrassed office staff who have dozens of Isabelles/Isobels/Isabels to deal with. But yes, there's no way the teacher should have shouted at you.

freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:51:33

I fully accept they make mistakes SANTA it wasn't that that was the issue I was simply surprised by her over reaction.

Goldidi Thu 04-Oct-12 22:51:41

I always make sure I spell kids names right. I teach secondary and I think most kids at secondary would be able to tell me I'd made a mistake, but with the very young children I think it's incredibly important that teachers spell their names correctly where the children can see it. If teachers can't spell their name correctly how will the children learn the correct spelling of their own name? (yes the parents can correct the child directly but young children sometimes have problems when they try to correct a teacher)

My dd1 was quite precocious and used to correct the spelling of her name by the playgroup leaders when she was 2 (nearly 3). She told them if they couldn't spell it right she'd do it herself blush, but she did it too and got the spelling right.

birthdaypanic Thu 04-Oct-12 22:52:07

Can't believe her response if she can't spell your dd name how can she check your dd spells her name correctly, I have children in my yr1 class who still struggle to write their name.

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 04-Oct-12 22:52:51

I can see both sides of this one. As a secondary teacher I teach quite a lot of children, sometimes I do make mistakes in class with names. However I would make sure that anything going home was checked against the register.

I think a year 1 teacher should be able to manage it, it's not as if they teach hundreds of children. And she certainly shouldn't have got stroppy.

As a parent I just correct it. Have done so on several exercise books and when returning letters. It's not just school though, my surname is impossible to spell it seems.

shithappensx1000 Thu 04-Oct-12 22:53:08

Tell the teacher. I pointed it out to my DD's reception teacher her error 5 years ago - the school have not made the mistake since. One of my class told me last week I'd been pronouncing his name wrong since the start of term blush Haven't done it since...

Shallishanti Thu 04-Oct-12 22:53:18

and, how will your dd learn to spell her name correctly if her teacher spells it wrong? YANBU

YouSmegHead Thu 04-Oct-12 22:53:36

Yes it does make a difference. Dd has just stated school and if it happened here she could end up telling me I spell her name wrong!

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug Thu 04-Oct-12 22:53:38

YANBU!! DS4's name gets spelled wrong a lot. Sometimes I don't correct it, say if it's on a slip of paper like an accident form. But when it was completely wrong on his Star of The Week certificate then I had a word with the teacher, who apologised and wrote out another one for him. It was spelled completely wrong, not even a known spelling of the name!

And I must get his Chief Bronze Award from Beavers redone as it was spelled wrong on there too! The leader apologised too for getting it wrong.

Devora Thu 04-Oct-12 22:54:43

YANBU. My dd's surname was spelt incorrectly on her school peg. I'd be a little more tolerant if this was a standard name spelt 'uniquely', but it just happens to be a forrin surname.

So, easy mistake, I just mentioned it to the teacher who apologised and said they'd change it. Six months later, I went back in and noticed it was STILL spelt incorrectly.

I'm not normally precious about our name getting misspelt - just as well, in the circumstances - but it does seem to me that my child needs to learn how to spell her name, and if her Reception teachers don't know how to do so, that is not helpful.

LadySybilPussPolham Thu 04-Oct-12 22:55:51

How can the spelling of your name not be important? It's a matter of respect. She's telling you volumes about her view of her pupils as individuals

freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:57:52

Thank you for confirming I wasn't mad to try and correct the error, I am more than happy to accept mistakes happen that wasn't really what had me worrying about this it was her reaction that completely threw me and had me concerned I was being unreasonable.

ErrorError Thu 04-Oct-12 23:02:37

YANBU. If anything she should have been embarrassed by her mistake, corrected it, and not become defensive. If your DD's name is spelled in a unique way then she should not be likely to forget it. (As my name suggests, I have no issue with pointing out errors! grin)

PopOozeTheFastest Thu 04-Oct-12 23:02:59

I was thinking that exact same thing as birthday and Shalli, not all children in Y1 will be able to spell their name correctly - how does the teacher stand a chance of knowing if your DD has it right or not if she doesn't know herself?

We had a similar issue with DS2's surname (it's the same as DS1 but, interestingly, they always got it right with DS1 confused), the school register had him down as having no letter E in his surname & the class teacher was even crossing the E out when DS2 wrote his full name down! As soon as I pointed it out to the teacher though she apologised & made sure the school records were amended, she certainly wasn't offended by it.

ErrorError Thu 04-Oct-12 23:06:49

My surname gets misspelled all the time, it's usually funny, but not when I was 11 and my PE teacher called it out to the class but mispronounced it. The mispronunciation sounded like something rude, and unfortunately it became my nickname for the next 5 years! I am very careful with names!

BlueSkySinking Thu 04-Oct-12 23:13:48

Her response is the problem, not the spelling mistake. Very rude teacher.

StuntGirl Thu 04-Oct-12 23:14:45

I would have mentioned it.

I have an alternate - but still common - spelling variant of a name, and it is ALWAYS mis-spelled. Sometimes I just leave it and don't say anything because as you've found out some people can get a right attitude when you confront it!

I was studying for an NVQ a while ago and noticed my folder (given to me by my assessor) had the wrong spelling. I inwardly rolled my eyes and didn't take it any further, it seemed petty to complain about a folder. Close to the end of my course it happened to come up in conversation and my assessor froze like a rabbit in headlights. Turned out EVERYTHING they had for me had that spelling, meaning my certificates would, meaning they would be invalid as the name on the certificate wasn't me! He had to put a few swift calls in to make sure all my details were changed before the end of the course!

freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 23:16:05

I am wondering if other people have been complaining to her not just about her and she is feeling a bit defensive or something or maybe some of the complaints have gone to the head. I don't know really I'm just glad that people here don't think I committed an awful offense by pointing it out.

Hopefully it won't be a problem again and things will settle for the teacher and all will be well smile

needanswers Thu 04-Oct-12 23:17:08

I pulled everything with DS name on it off the walls in school, including where his coat hung, and crossed them out and wrote correct spelling on them, first thing he is being taught is how to write his name, so they need to get it right.

YouMayLogOut Thu 04-Oct-12 23:20:28

YANBU. Her reaction sounds OTT.

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden Thu 04-Oct-12 23:24:09

Misspell her name and mispronounce it.

freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 23:35:32

it had crossed my mind MAMA wink

LonelyCloud Thu 04-Oct-12 23:43:39

YANBU.

Teachers are bound to get the spelling of names wrong from time to time, particularly if a name is unusual. It's certainly not unreasonable to point out a mistake, especially if you've got a year 1 child who's only just learning how to read and write.

The teacher's reaction was completely disproportionate. I would expect most teachers to apologise and check the spelling in the register, not get all stroppy and start yelling.

Not quite as bad as when my DN Sam started school. His teacher insisted on teaching him how to spell Samuel, not his name at all. The teacher would not have it from Sams own lips that his name was Sam not Samuel and my DSis had to go in and point out that he was right. He was registered as Sam and his name was there a Sam on everything, but the teacher thought they knew better.

ErrorError Thu 04-Oct-12 23:59:37

Mamma that reminds me of someone who had a similar problem, "yes the name's Frank, no not a pet form of Francis, just Frank." Every single time (on official forms etc.)

Ozziegirly Fri 05-Oct-12 06:00:43

My name can be correctly spelled a number of ways and I do think, just blimmin ask how I spell it, instead of giving me a vague guess of a name. This is why I went by the longer, only one way to spell it version, for a number of years.

Also, my surname is incredibly common and straightforward and yet the number of people who spell it Evens surprises me.

So yes, I agree, it's important to get these things right.

<stickler>

HecateHarshPants Fri 05-Oct-12 06:21:45

you are not being unreasonable.

everyone gets my children's names wrong. Spelling and pronunciation. Now, at first I don't mind. They're weird ones. But the number of times my eldest has the last a in his name turned into an e is ridiculous and I keep telling them (school, gp, etc) and they keep doing it. It's when people will not accept that you know the spelling of your child's name cos, well, er, YOU NAMED THEM!!! grrr

It isn't a minor thing. It's someone's name. It doesn't get more important than that grin

I would complain about her attitude. She was being ridiculous.

Rosa Fri 05-Oct-12 06:22:20

My dd has a common name in the Uk and unusual here. On her art and craft work it is often spelled wrong but they have spelt it how it would be written over here. When she progresses to writing if they get it wrong I will probably say something but otherwise right now I am not that bothered.

HecateHarshPants Fri 05-Oct-12 06:26:24

Can I just say that the longer you leave it, the more difficult it will be to correct it. It will be on all letters and forms about her and once a spelling of a name is in The System, I promise you they ain't changing it! It doesn't matter how many people I correct, the letters etc keep on coming back e not a.

exoticfruits Fri 05-Oct-12 06:35:29

Of course you were right to point it out. The teacher can easily get it wrong, but she should have apologised and corrected it from now on. It is a big thing- we have problems with the misspelling of our surname and have changed banks over the issue.

WofflingOn Fri 05-Oct-12 06:38:17

'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?' '

That is completely unacceptable as a response. shock
It is rude, unnecessary and deeply stupid. Your name is a key part of your identity and it matters even more to most children that it is right.
It has happened to me a couple of times as a teacher, I've always written down the name the parent has said, then gone and checked with the official admittance paperwork in the office.
Sometimes there has been an email error, a class list provided has a spelling mistake. Sometimes the name has been changed slightly by the parent since admission.(We have a number of EAL pupils) Then I tell the parent what the reason was.
There are many reasons why a name might have an error in it, but the error should be corrected without fuss or
Either way, it can be easily changed on books, displays and other forms, even if othe official paperwork has to keep the proper name, correctly spelled.
I have a couple of names pencilled in my register if the child's formal name is not what they identify with.

whogivesaduck1 Fri 05-Oct-12 06:38:17

i'd start calling her Ms. TwatFace, and when she says something start yelling at her that she is "'you are being very unreasonable expecting that I will know the exact pronounication of every teacher's name why are you making a fuss?"

that'll sooon shut her up!

McKayz Fri 05-Oct-12 06:38:24

Mamma, that happened to my step brother. He's Gregg but one of his teachers kept telling him he was Gregory. In the end he was given a detention for lying to the teacher. My step dad went and had words after that.

50smellsofshite Fri 05-Oct-12 06:42:11

YANBU it is a fundamental part of her job to know HER spellings. smile
I suggest she takes all the first names of the school children in her class and learns them this weekend. Surely this is the most basic of basic.

As an employer the job I took on last year, the previous manager did not know her spellings because she spelt almost every employee's name wrong on all records and in personnel files. Think Theresa/Teresa or Anna/Ana.
It's like she just guessed. So my first few months I was addressing people and writing to people and spelling their names wrong.
Every time I was corrected I was so apologetic. I am paid to know how to spell people's names as is your DC's teacher.

Unless your DC has committed some awful crime then I think it's always OK to bring it up.

She does sound defensive, I also wonder if this isn't the first time.

DizziDoll Fri 05-Oct-12 06:45:08

My dd came home with a certificate for spelling her name so well. Except they had misspelled her name on the certificate grin.
It was replaced swiftly after a quiet word.

frikonastick Fri 05-Oct-12 07:05:47

i have an aunt who refuses to spell my name the way it is.

eg, my name is jane. she insists that actually the correct spelling of jane is jayne. so thats how she writes it. on everything.

it doesnt bother me, because it makes her look stupid not me. but having said that, recently my boss has started spelling my name wrong too. i have told him a couple of times, but he has shrugged it off. I have pointed it out to him, but his response was a bit, so what? its not like my name is all that difficult or exotic either!

OHforDUCKScake Fri 05-Oct-12 07:13:54

People are constantly spelling my sons name wrong, I correct, correct and correct again (mainly because its family and they should know by now) and I wouldnt stop at correcting the teacher. The very same teacher who would teach him how to spell his name.

YANBU

The teacher is BVU.

halcyondays Fri 05-Oct-12 07:16:48

Yanbu, at that age in primary school. Different if it was secondary with lots of pupils.

MumToTheBoy Fri 05-Oct-12 07:16:59

It is her responsibility as the class teacher to ensure the children's names are being spelt correctly. We have lists of names on each adults clipboard at my school to ensure things like that are done correctly. In the nursery with the brand new teenies I have made a class photo sheet with the name under the photo for the dinner ladies so they can return the correct children to me (!!) after lunch, and my 3 tas all found the photo sheet helpful too until we got to know them all really well. With names that are unique spellings of traditional names, plus African, Indian, Turkish, Irish and Russian names, we would obviously need a reminder of how to spell them but by the end of week 5 (which is where we are now) I would expect teachers to be able to spell them correctly. That is said as a member of the SLT.

SoupDragon Fri 05-Oct-12 07:21:28

I did this with DS2's reception teacher as all the labels with his name on were spelt incorrectly. She apologised and redid them. When letters came home spelt wrongly it doesn't bother me as they tend to be one offs and the content is n=more important than his name being spelt correctly.

SoupDragon Fri 05-Oct-12 07:21:57

(and his name is spelt the traditional way)

ZeldaUpNorth Fri 05-Oct-12 07:36:47

When in year 1 the teacher spelt dds surname wrong. Ie it was Coleman Instead of Colman (example) I had a word after a few times of it being wrong (so i knew it wasn't a one off) and that was it sorted. Although now the music teacher has decided to call her Callman but i dont get to see the music teacher so will have to put up with it. (dd is 8 now so knows how its spelt)

fedupandtired Fri 05-Oct-12 07:38:28

This really annoys me. The whole of last year DD's teacher spelt her name wrong. Every time I would correct it. I spoke with the office and DD's teacher but still he got it wrong. I think it's inexcusable to be honest. How are our children meant to learn how to spell their name if their teacher can't?

Luckily my DD is old enough to know how to spell her name but a younger child would get very confused.

jamdonut Fri 05-Oct-12 07:57:52

I think its wrong if labels on things are spelled incorrectly, but, sometimes when you are under pressure to get things done quickly, notes in reading diaries or bumped head letters etc may get incorrectly spelled. There are so many children with similar names spelled in odd ways that you can get a bit of a mental block sometimes.
And I know it IS annoying because my own 3 children have had many a problem with people spelling their names correctly. They are are nor weird, fashionable names, but they are unusual, but I tend to shrug it off.( Except when our surname gets spelt with a capital K in the middle ... a Mac name... but that tends to be something that happens through computer databases!)

IgnoringTheChildren Fri 05-Oct-12 08:00:23

I hope that you are going to have a word with the head about this teacher's response to you, she was probably having a bad day but that doesn't excuse it!

When my DS1 started reception, before I'd even got him in the door, the teacher apologised to me as they'd put his full name on the coat peg/drawer labels etc but knew that we use the shortened version. She said they'd get new ones made up asap.

I wouldn't have complained about this - the labels had his (correctly spelt) name on after all! But the teacher recognised the importance of how a young child sees their name and wanted it correct.

All teachers make mistakes over names occasionally but one who can't recognise the importance of this and apologise needs some "retraining" on the issue. grin

Skivvytomany Fri 05-Oct-12 08:24:00

What an unprofessional reaction from her. My daughter gets her name spelt wrong all the time and its not an uncommon name here, just lots of ways of spelling it. Her school always made sure it was spelt correctly though. Our surname also gets spelt wrong but i don't really bother correcting it if its a one of.

I did spell my younger sons name teachers name wrong for a whole year blush It ends in and I wrote ing several times which turns her name into a decorative item grin I asked her about it and she says everyone does it and cos of our accent the way we pronounce both in and ing words sounds the same so unless we seen her name written down we wouldn't have realised.

cherry219 Fri 05-Oct-12 08:33:25

I had to send DH to have words with DS's teacher (nursery class) on Monday as over the weekend he had said he was sad that teacher had told him his surname didn't have an s on the end of it (think William instead of Williams). DS told her (good on him!) that it was Williams (example) but she had argued with him that it was William and he was Wrong. Grrrr.

This comes after the first official letter we got for DS back in June, which was addressed to DS William, at which point I contacted the office in writing and told them it was Williams. To find they were still doing it months later was very annoying - especially when it's a fairly common name!

DH said teacher was suitably apologetic and every time she's called his name in our presence since, she's put a very audible S on the end. As I would expect ;)

Bunbaker Fri 05-Oct-12 08:43:03

It sounds like the teacher had had a bad day. I still think her response was out of order.

This thread highlights one of the reasons why alternative spellings for well known names can cause problems.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 08:44:02

When I was teaching if a parent had said this to me, I would have been polite (I was always polite with parents) but I would secretly have thought you were a bit of a twat to be honest. It was one of the reasons I left teaching actually - I just couldn't handle the constant pressure to get every single thing perfect. It feels like as a teacher no one acknowledges the hours and hours and hours of hard work you put in, they just point out your tiny mistakes all the time. It wears you down so much. Teachers will usually check the register for a child's name if they're not sure about a spelling, but for a quick note home they will probably not have time to go to the office and get the register, and so will just go with their best guess. At this stage of the year if there are a few names that are not spelt a conventional way the teacher will still be getting used to them - she will know them off by heart by Christmas.

That said I do think she was unprofessional to talk to you like that, that is never acceptable.

GoSakuramachi Fri 05-Oct-12 09:05:17

YANBU. Unless its one of those "I made up my own spelling of a name cos I like it better even though it makes no sense" names.
One of my childrens names got spelled wrong the whole way through nursery, it never really bothered me, after all he couldn't read or write then so no real problem. If his teacher at school couldn't do it I'd point it out. It's only got 5 letters and is not unusual.

WildWorld2004 Fri 05-Oct-12 09:15:35

Im used to having people spell my name wrong. Or what some people do is add in a letter & make it a completely different name. My name isnt even unusual.

A class teacher should know how to spell their pupils names. OP that teacher was rude.

DeWe Fri 05-Oct-12 09:44:26

I had ds's year 1 teacher came up and asked me which was the correct spelling of his name, and half the things came up from year R with one spelling, the other with the other.
She asked ds and he said "sometimes it's spelt that way, other times the other way".

I've never worried when it's spelt wrong at this age, it's not really mattering, and ds thinks it's funny.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Fri 05-Oct-12 10:39:58

YANBU. Even if your child had a ridiculous spelling like 'Skarlotte' the teacher should make the effort to get it right a) because they are teaching the children how to spell their names and b) to show respect for that child. Someone's name is their basic form of identification!

Anyway, mistakes happen but her response was awful and I would complain.

Tiggles Fri 05-Oct-12 10:48:14

YANBU at all.
When DS2 started the school nursery staff started abbreviating his name, I don't have a major problem with that. But they started teaching him to spell the abbreviation of his name rather than his full name, again not too much of a problem. Except they spelt it wrong. He has a standard boys name, with a standard 3 letter abbreviation.
Finally at the end of reception when they used the incorrectly spelt name in his report I wrote a note in and asked them to spell it correctly in the future. So far so good in year 1!
Why should a child have their name spelt wrong all the way through school.

HoneyMurcott Fri 05-Oct-12 11:04:15

I am always careful about spelling kids' names at school correctly because it is a simple matter of respect and courtesy. And yes, there may be a million different spellings of the same name, but so what? After a teacher has written the name a few times it is easy to remember. This teacher was completely out of order to react the way she did to you. My suggestion - consistently spell her own name incorrectly in letters to school and reply - you can't expect me to remember the correct spelling of every teacher in this school, can you if she challenges you. I wonder about her attitude to other things if she can't even get the basic details right. Her reaction should have been to apologize to you. YANBU.

freddiefrog Fri 05-Oct-12 11:13:21

YANBU!

When my DD1 first started school, they assumed her name was a shortened version of a very different name.

They asked me to have her hearing tested as she wasn't responding when they called her. Well, no, of course she wouldn't, she has no idea who you are talking to.

They were very apologetic and changed everything straight away

freemanbatch Fri 05-Oct-12 11:43:18

Being someone who generally likes to let things lie or maybe as my friend calls me someone who is a wuss, I haven't spoken to anyone at school and I'm not going to complain about her but if I receive anything else with the wrong spelling I am going to go to the office and ask to check that their records are correct rather than speak to the teacher.

I know mistakes happen and that was never the issue here it was her reaction that confused me. Thank you all for confirming I wasn't being totally unreasonable to mention it smile

MotownMummy Fri 05-Oct-12 11:46:26

YANBU. If you don't point it out now she'll always stay in the teacher's mind as the incorrectly spelled name, or at least that's what happened to us

oohlaalaa Fri 05-Oct-12 11:54:18

YANBU

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Fri 05-Oct-12 11:56:07

Sounds like that teacher is very stressed and is reacting badly. I would speak to head of year and express your concerns over her reaction - shouting at you in front of other parents??? - not the initial mistake. If she is losing it with an adult, what is she doing in the classroom? Bawling in the kids faces? Maybe, maybe not but worth expressing a concern I think.

AThingInYourLife Fri 05-Oct-12 11:56:22

Probably just as well you left teaching, Cailín, if you couldn't memorise 30ish spellings within weeks.

It's a really easy peasy yet important part of the job.

PiedWagtail Fri 05-Oct-12 11:59:20

YANBU at all, she is being insane and is wrong. The school will have printed labels etc for your child all year - to put on every artwork etc etc - so it is worth making sure your dd's name is spelled correctly!!

IWantAnotherBaby Fri 05-Oct-12 12:02:41

DD who is 4, started reception 4 weeks ago. Her name is a classic one, with only one accepted spelling (although made-up versions now exist - like "Her-my-o-nee" instead of Hermione as an example).

They managed to spell it correctly on official paperwork, and her peg, but her bookbag and all books have had it spelt wrongly. I have crossed out the mis-spelling on each item and written the correct spelling clearly above it. Fortunately she is very confident with writing her own name. I have not yet mentioned it to the teachers (after all they see her reading diary etc every time she hands it in so they have plenty of opportunities to get the message), but I would if new items continue to be mis-labelled.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 12:44:32

Yes, A Thing, because what's important in teaching is that the teacher has the appearance of doing everything right so the parents have nothing to complain about. Things like spelling names correctly, when you're switching from one set of 30 names last year to another 30 names this year, are absolutely paramount, far more important than good teaching.

The fact that I have a first class PGCE and have been rated numerous times as outstanding by colleagues and OFSTED counts for nothing because I have difficulty remembering whether this year's child is Carolyn or Carolin or Carolynne.

I presume you've memorised the exact spelling of 30 names (some of which might be from a different nationality and so are spelt a lot differently to how they sound) loads of times? And that's why you think it's "easy peasy"?

AThingInYourLife Fri 05-Oct-12 18:43:39

Yes, I have memorised 100+ names and faces quickly every year when I taught secondary.

It is easy peasy.

And it is important, and a part of good teaching to get those kinds of details right, particularly at primary school.

Sloppiness with spelling is unprofessional, especially when it comes to your pupils' names, which is a limited set of things to learn.

If you think parents who expect their children's names to be spelt correctly are twats then you have a shitty attitude that means it's best (as you seem to agree) that you are no longer teaching.

If your ability to teach well is significantly hampered by attending to small, but important, details then you must have been struggling in the classroom.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 18:46:34

The best thing about not teaching any more is not having to deal with people like you A Thing. Just to let you know I won't be engaging with you again, because I find you unnecessarily nasty.

Finbert Fri 05-Oct-12 18:51:01

How rude of her! As a teacher I have slipped up on the odd occasion especially at the start of a new year, but would be grateful it was pointed out early and very apologetic/embarrassed to the parent/child involved!

kate2boysandabump Fri 05-Oct-12 19:04:42

YANBU to expect a professional to spell your child's name correctly, it's the very least she should do. We have an extra letter to the norm in our surname and it is often missed. I've also been asked if I'm sure that's right hmm

Wow CailinDana, you thought it was OK to show a complete lack of respect to a child by getting their most identifying feature incorrect.

AThing is right it is easy to learn the names and do it correctly, after all, I'm sure in order to be 'Outstanding' you have to correct a child on their mistakes, but not yours it would seem.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 20:12:11

Kate how very clever of you to get involved, well done.

SoupDragon Fri 05-Oct-12 21:17:32

Were you that patronising as a teacher?

Well CailinDana, with that attitude I'm willing to bet that there are a lot of people now relieved that you are no longer a teacher.

I have to write out cwertificates for the library summer reading challenge every year and I double and triple check most names to make sure that they are spelled correctly - it's important to the child to see that it is their name on their certificate. It's a matter of respect.

marriedinwhite Fri 05-Oct-12 21:31:44

I haven't read all of this but it's your child's name. It's a very important bit of information about your child. I would expect the teacher to spell my child's name correctly. End of. I think I would write a little note to the head of the infants to say "I was a bit worried that x spelled (spelt) my child's name incorrectly when he/she sent me a note the other day. Please would you make sure that my child's name is correctly spelt in the register and all other school records. Here is the correct spelling and I shall be grateful if you will please confirm that it is being used on all records held by the school".

With very best wishes.

Cwertificates - <facepalm>

Certificates...

5madthings Fri 05-Oct-12 21:40:47

Yanbu. We had similar with ds3. The teacher conplained to me that he didnt know how to spell his name (yr1) she showed me his book and i pointed out that he was spelling his name correctly but she and the ta were spelling it wrong! Between them the ta and teacher had spelt it three different ways, none if which were the commonly used spelling. His name is Dylan, so not exactly difficult to spell!

HumphreyCobbler Fri 05-Oct-12 21:57:29

I am sure that CailinDana made every effort to get a child's name right. Sometimes we all make mistakes and it does feel like parents often never comment except to pick on the one thing that is incorrect. It can make being a teacher terribly depressing.

And everyone knows that spellings of names are random. Dylan might be the obvious way to spell a name, but if you had a child in your class two years ago that spelled it Dilan, that spelling is the one carved on your brain.

I think the teacher mentioned in the OP was rude and should not have spoken like this.

people spell my name incorrectly all the time, I never get my arse out about it. How should they know?

Devora Fri 05-Oct-12 22:15:10

It's not getting the name wrong that people are objecting to so strongly, Humph, it's the dismissal that it is important to get it right. Especially at the start of primary.

By the time my dd is in Y3 I fully expect her to be confident about the spelling of her name and it wouldn't bother me if the teacher got it wrong. But in REception and Y1 she is still learning how to spell the surname, and needs the daily reinforcement of having it spelt correctly on her school peg.

zipzap Fri 05-Oct-12 22:36:03

As it was on an accident note you did the right thing checking that it really was for your dd but with a wrong spelling. For all you know there could be an Isabel and isobelle in the class or a Jayne and a Jane - you were being responsible checking that the note was for you and there wasn't some other child who had had an accident and hadn't gone home with an accident note.

As people have said most people try their best to get children's names right but the odd mistake slips through. And most people apologise nicely, are suitably embarrassed and try to correct it. All that's fine.

What is not fine is either the attitude the teacher showed in not expecting to be bothered by spelling names correctly or the the manner in which she replied to you. One of these would make me want to speak to the head teacher, both would definitely make me want to complain to the head.

And no, yanbu to expect her to spell your dd's name. At dc's school by now the entire staff know every child's name - 300 in the school - including the head teacher.

And another vote here for deliberately spelling twacher's name wrong grin

Startailoforangeandgold Fri 05-Oct-12 22:53:45

YANBU
Class teachers should get names right.
Occasional TA's and teachers just doing the odd lesson may be forgiven.

Certainly no one at school shouldn't be rude if corrected.

Mind you it can be useful. DD2 had odd lesson with the HT and come report time we always knew which comments were his because he gets her name wrong every time.

He finally got it right in her very last Y6 onegrin

sarahtigh Fri 05-Oct-12 23:47:13

I can understand people you do not know me well on a once off basis spelling sara not sarah as that is common variation also we have Macsurname not McSurname but I would expect a teacher to have our names right and if unsure to ask

YANBU you did not humiliate her in front of class and yes it is reasoanble to expect P1 teacher to be able to correctly spell names of 20-30 children, if it was a music teacher that taught them once a week amongst 300 other pupils it would be a bit different

Coralanne Fri 05-Oct-12 23:55:13

It's often said that making a mistake isn't a big deal in itself.

It's how you deal with it that people remember.

You simply asked if DD's name was spelt like that in the Register.

Teacher's response probably should have been "Not sure, I'll check when I have a moment and correct it if it is not right"

Everyone happy.

SirBoobAlot Fri 05-Oct-12 23:56:15

YANBU, she sounds very rude and unprofessional, really.

I have the more unusual of two spelling options for my name. One of my teachers insisted for years to use the other, never mind how many times I corrected her. She was a right tit.

Clary Sat 06-Oct-12 00:55:59

That's appalling OP.

Massive over-reation by teacher and you are completely correct to request right spelling of yr DD's name.

I teach secondary which means I have almost 300 students' names to remember, but I make a big effort to recall which Aaron is Air-ron and which is Ah-ron, and that Mia is actually said My-ah. It matters to them so it's the least I can do tbh.

WeAreEternal Sat 06-Oct-12 08:24:33

DS is also in yr1.
He has a fairly unusual name, in that I know that he is the only one in his year.
But it is a common Irish name (DP is Irish) so most people I have met don't find it unusual IYKWIM.

I am American so I chose to use the American spelling rather than the Irish spelling, (with an E instead of an A). This is not uncommon in the England, I have seen a few with the same name spell it this way.

DS's teacher refuses to accept that it is spelled this way and always spells it with an A, it irritatede at first but now I just cross it out and rewrite his name correctly.

What really made me cross was when a TA tried to tell DS that he was writing his name wrong.

Kbear Sat 06-Oct-12 08:32:03

Write her a note on Monday saying

Dear Mrs <name spelt wrong>

Annoying isn't it...

Regards.

Mrs. <name spelt correctly>, mother of <name spelt correctly in capital letters with underscore and highlighter pen.

Big Smile !

Kbear Sat 06-Oct-12 08:32:26

and I'm kidding by the way ! LOL

YANBU- Teacher sounds like an overbearing twit. As someone rightly pointed out, how can teacher check your DD is writing her name correctly if she doesn't?

I would speak with someone above her, you cannot be allowed to speak to parent's like that. There seems to be a belief that teacher's, as they are authority figures, should be excused from talking to adults and children like shit. All parent's who experience this need to report it, stamp it out. Teacher's should be approachable, however small the issue.

I would worry how she is to the children if she is having an off day or if they bring up something in her view that's "unreasonable", if that was her reaction to you.

Eskarina Sat 06-Oct-12 09:19:24

As others have said I think that was an awful response from the teacher. To my shame I have let two mistakes creep in to the spellings of children's names in the class this year. Neither are English names, but that shouldn't matter. One came as a mistake from the office, one I assumed a double letter when it was a single. I was mortified when each parent pointed it out and by the next day I had changed everything - their books, peg labels, name lists etc (ie had redone all the work I'd spent both INSET days doing) THAT'S what your dd's teacher should be doing, not shouting at you!

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:24:05

YANBU to point it out. However YABU to give your DD a name thats difficult to spell! smile

50smellsofshite Sat 06-Oct-12 09:54:37

No matter how fantastic you are as a teacher, no matter how many medals, trophys and certificates you have supporting this, if you cannot learn 30 spellings in two weeks you are NOT fit for purpose. More importantly if you cannot recognise how important spelling this critical, small piece of identifying information is then you shouldn't be teaching.

There are basics in every career. I love teachers and recognise I couldn't do the job. Huge challenges. This shouldn't be one of them.

LonelyCloud Sat 06-Oct-12 10:56:46

But Flojo1979, there's plenty of easy to spell names with more than one commonly accepted spelling.

Think of Jane/Jayne, Stephen/Steven, Catherine/Katherine, Anne/Ann to name a few. None of the above are hard to spell, but all are easy to get wrong if you're more used to the other variant.

MamaBear17 Sat 06-Oct-12 11:59:45

I am a teacher and in that situation I would have apologised and been honest about having spelled it incorrectly. I would probably have apologised to the child too and said some thing like "I shall remember that you are an 'ie' and not a 'y' from now on!". It is your childs' name and identity, the school have a responsibility to spell it correctly on legal documents. Im actually shocked that your child's teacher reacted that way.

littleducks Sat 06-Oct-12 12:07:22

At ds induction for reception his name was spelt wrong on the list. I pointed it out and first the secretary tried to say it was the councils fault but when I showed get all the other paperwork was correct she realised it had been her typing mistake. She very quickly ran down to the classroom to get his name tag altered wink.

I think for small children it is very important.

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 12:09:52

i simplay CANNOT believe the OP.
what a crock of shit

freemanbatch Sat 06-Oct-12 15:43:11

BONNYDAY? you think I made it up? can't understand why I would but anyway.

I never thought DD name was difficult to spell and used the only spelling I had ever seen for it when she was born but I have since been made aware of two other ways that I never knew of.

I didn't speak to anyone about the teacher, we all have bad days and she probably know herself that she shouldn't have said it so no need to make her feel any worse. I am hoping it will never be a problem again though smile

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 15:46:13

I cannot imagine a situation where a teacher would shout at a parent.
Especially when the parent is ( allegedly politely) trying to impart relevant information

freemanbatch Sat 06-Oct-12 15:52:44

neither could I until it happened Bonny which is why I thought I may have been being unreasonable by trying to point out the error.

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 15:53:39

so did you complain to the head?

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 15:54:03

Head might be trying to sack her - grist to mill

freemanbatch Sat 06-Oct-12 15:56:21

No I didn't speak to the head I put it down to a bad day and hope it won't happen again. Currently we have a consulting head who is only in a couple of days a week while a new head is recruited so its not easy to track them down and probably not an easy environment to work in either.

BonnyDay Sat 06-Oct-12 16:00:04

ah i bet if it has a sniff of failing that she is way under scrutiny

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