AIBU to want dd to take the morning off school?

(97 Posts)
littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 09:17:18

DD has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning. She has regular appointments at the hospital for her eyesight (approx once every 6 weeks).

I was going to take DD out of school for the morning, since her appointment is at 11.15 and along with picking DD up from school, I have to travel to the hospital too so I will need to make sure we have enough time to travel there.
The school want me to take DD into school in the morning and pick her up at 11am!
Is it so bad for DD to have the morning off?
DD is 4 btw and has just started reception.
I get the strong impression that the school will not be happy at all if I don't take DD in for the morning. sad

CMOTDibbler Tue 02-Oct-12 09:20:13

I can see their point if this is a regular, ongoing thing, but 11 for an 11.15 appt is not enough time ! Could you pick her up at 10.30 ?

vodkaanddietirnbru Tue 02-Oct-12 09:21:23

I'd just write a letter and hand it in advising that your dd will not be in in the morning and will be returned to school after her appointment. I dont ask for permission for appointments, I just let them know what is happening and when they will be back to school - it's up to you, not them!

vodkaanddietirnbru Tue 02-Oct-12 09:22:40

p.s. for an 11.15 appointment I would usually put them into school and then pick them up some time before the appointment. It means they dont get marked down as being absent too.

Floggingmolly Tue 02-Oct-12 09:27:37

If it will really only take 15 minutes to get her to the appointment, then yes, why would she have the entire morning off?

TroublesomeEx Tue 02-Oct-12 09:30:22

But will it only take 15 minutes to get there?

It depends on where you live in relation to the hospital.

I would usually take them in for registration at the very least.

honeytea Tue 02-Oct-12 09:50:16

Yanbu it seems daft taking her in for an hour then picking her up again then back to school in the afternoon.

Maybe you could request an early appointment next time so she can go first thing and then go directly into school.

Pavlovthecat Tue 02-Oct-12 09:52:05

keep her off for the morning, get her to do some reading with you, or practice her letters.

nailak Tue 02-Oct-12 09:53:19

if the appointment is at 11.15 I would want to be there by 11, not still waiting in the office for my dd at 11.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 09:57:29

It's probably me being lazy blush.
I was trying to avoid doing the school run 4 times. grin

I think I'll tell school I will pick DD up at 10.30, which should give me enough time to get to the hospital on time.
Hospital is approx 8 miles away.

TroublesomeEx Tue 02-Oct-12 09:58:04

if the appointment is at 11.15 I would want to be there by 11, not still waiting in the office for my dd at 11

Yes. Especially when they aren't necessarily sitting in the office waiting for you when you arrive to collect them.

TroublesomeEx Tue 02-Oct-12 09:59:40

How are you getting there littlemiss?

What's the traffic/public transport/parking like?

Just don't cut the time too short.

scootle Tue 02-Oct-12 10:01:18

Do it this once - so you don't get a reputation. Often helps to look like you are doing what the school wants. Thereafter, try to get an appointment for 10 so that you don't have to bother.

Lancelottie Tue 02-Oct-12 10:02:01

They think you can do 8 miles in 15 minutes including parking??

At our hospital it could take 15 minutes to find a parking space, and another 15 to trot down the corridors to the right spot.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 10:02:39

Am getting 2 buses to get there.

Dancergirl Tue 02-Oct-12 10:03:50

God, don't let the school dictate to you! You don't have to ask permission, work out what's convenient for YOU and then tell school you are picking dd up at such and such a time.

Agree with folkgirl, allow yourself plenty of time even if that means her missing a morning of school.

Pavlovthecat Tue 02-Oct-12 10:03:51

you are getting two buses? don't send her in for sure!

Hopeforever Tue 02-Oct-12 10:04:20

It seems the first half of the morning, especially Monday mornings seem a key time in a primary school day as it sets the scene for the whole day. I can see why the school have said what they have

It's just as a parent you seem to spend the whole day walking up and down the school drive smile

Dancergirl Tue 02-Oct-12 10:04:58

2 buses?? Then DEFINITELY take her out for the morning. Why stress yourself, suppose the bus is late etc?

GobblersKnob Tue 02-Oct-12 10:07:23

At four I would have just been telling the schol what time to expect her. Though if they felt it was disruptive to bring her back at a particular time I would have heppily kept her off all day and that would be the limits of my flexability.

megandraper Tue 02-Oct-12 10:10:01

She doesn't even legally have to be in school at four.

I would do whatever is least disruptive for your DD and yourself. The school will cope.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 10:11:51

If i pick DD up at 10.30, we can catch the first bus at 10.40, which should get us to the connecting bus for 11. That bus will get to the hospital at 11.10am.
It's cutting it a bit fine but the receptionist at school was very 'catsbum mouth' about DD being collected before 11 anyway, so not looking forward to changing the time I collect DD. sad

TroublesomeEx Tue 02-Oct-12 10:12:03

I'd be interested to know how the school think you're going to make it there in time for your appointment if you don't pick her up until 11am! Which as we all know means she won't be with you until 11.05 and then she's only small which means she'll be walking to the bus stop slowly/inefficiently...

My daughter's last hospital appointment was at 11am at a hospital 9 miles away. The school told us to stay at home in the morning and not to bother going in.

However, if you're going to have to go every 6 weeks, then I would make an effort to request earlier appointments in future.

The school are just wary of her missing a half day every few weeks. Because the morning session is when the literacy/numeracy stuff often happens in and planning/learning is progressive during the week. I would imagine that's what they're thinking about.

TroublesomeEx Tue 02-Oct-12 10:14:43

What will happen if the buses are delayed (you know, with public transport not being all that reliable).

Will it really only take you 5 minutes to walk from the bus stop to the correct hospital department (must be a tiny hospital!).

A lot of times, you have to get there 15 mins before the appointment time anyway, particularly where children are concerned, because they like to keep to the appointment times and it prevents delays.

My children have both been seen at 3 different hospitals, in different departments over the past few weeks and in both occasions we had to be there at least 15 mins before the appointment time.

I'd want to pick her up at 10.

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 10:17:08

There's obviously been a misunderstanding regarding how long your journey will take.

But I would pick her up about 10.20am.

To be honest, as long as she's got her morning mark in the register I don't think they'll quibble over what time she actually leaves.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 10:26:27

I thought DD didn't have to attend school because she's only 4, and honestly didn't think it would be a problem, but receptionist made it clear that 'as it's a medical appointment, they will allow it.'

Mind you, this is the same receptionist that told me that xp would not be permitted to pick up DD from school, regardless of whether he has parental rights. This was a privilege only reserved for the main carer in separated families.
I politely pointed out that it was 'parental responsibility' and that legally the school couldn't prevent him from picking DD up, he does not need my permission since there is no injunction etc on him. Receptionist told me I was wrong until headteacher confirmed it for her.
Maybe school receptionists aren't expected to know these things? I don't know what to expect anymore tbh.

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 10:29:05

Legally she doesn't have to attend school but neither should she attend at odd hours if it can be avoided.

The school will be trying to help you set the routine for the future and sadly, there have always been parents who keep their kids off for a whole day/morning/afternoon for a dental check up or a Drs appointment when it's unnecessary.

WilsonFrickett Tue 02-Oct-12 10:31:11

I'm assuming this is your first DC in school? It is advisable to develop a certain... resistance to receptionists' cats bums mouths. It's kind of their default position. Ignore and go and get your DD at a time that suits your onward travel plans wink

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 10:31:26

Maybe I am cutting it too fine by picking DD up at 10.30.
Tomorrow morning is the harvest assembly btw.
Will definitely try to get an earlier appt in future though.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 10:33:45

Wilson Really? I thought school receptionists were supposed to be smiley and friendly. I felt like i had been told off. blush

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons Tue 02-Oct-12 10:34:20

Wow. Its never even occured to me to ask permission to take DS out for appts. He goes to a SS so I suppose that might make a difference but I just send a note saying "X will not be at school tomorrow morning as he has a hospital appt. I will bring him in afterwards." Its 2 buses for us as well, and an 11.15 appt could actuallly mean missing most of the afternoon as well, but it can't be helped.

TroublesomeEx Tue 02-Oct-12 10:45:50

Re: school attendance, there is always confusion about this.

They don't have to enter education before the term following their fifth birthday. However, once they are in school, it's not optional and they have to attend just as any child of any age would.

Wilson is correct. When they are good, school receptionists are brilliant, but they are not softies. They are the frontline staff and they take no shit!

Afternoons That's what I do too - write and inform. I don't ask permission for appointments.

HandHolding Tue 02-Oct-12 10:53:09

For hospital appointments, I thought you had to be there 10mins in advance anyway?
So leaving at 11.00 for 11.15 leaves you... 5mins to get there... by bus with a connexion.
That's completely irrealistic.

Plan you trip to the hospital and ensure that you have enough time to get there. Your 10.30 plan sounds tight to me but you will have a better ideas whether buses are usually on time where you live or not (What if you miss your connection bus?).
And then tell the school that's the time you need to leave.

BTW, I have never been able to 'chose' the time of my appointments and would not exect anyone to do so tbh. IT's not like you are going to see the GP.

Startailoforangeandgold Tue 02-Oct-12 10:53:33

Never give more details than necessary.
DD has a Drs, Dentist appointment or a music, dancing exam, that's it.

Add a time if you are collecting, but never a return time or the appointment time.

Travel arrangements change, (music master is ace at this)

DCs may get stressed and be better at home, or distracted in school.

We found being early at fracture clinic was huge win.

DD1 must be fed the second her brace is tightened, because it hurts by tea.

Non of this needs explaining to school (nor does having a lovely long lunch in Waitrose because DD hated next lessonwink)

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Tue 02-Oct-12 10:54:18

just tell them that she is not going to school in the morning as you have to get her to the hospital by public transport. the letter usually states that you need to attend about 15 minutes early to book in. you need to allow time for the first bus to be delayed and needing to catch the next connecting bus.. and still get to the hospital grounds about 25 minute earlier to allow for getting to the correct department.

there are lots of delays aaround our local hospital so busses are frequently delayed at the last pert of the journey.

SammyTheSwedishSquirrel Tue 02-Oct-12 10:55:31

Ideally for a hospital appointment I think you should aim to be there half an hour before, or at the very latest 15 minutes before. Work back from that the time you would sensibly need to leave to get there and then tell them the time you will be collecting her. Ignore any cat's bums you get.

Chopstheduck Tue 02-Oct-12 10:55:43

surely playtime should be around that time? I's ask when playtime is and then pick her up when that starts. She gets to go in for first lesson and then leaves at a non-disruptive time.

goldenlula Tue 02-Oct-12 11:17:58

As you are relying on public transport Ywnbu to keep her off for ge morning. Ds2 has a SALT assessment at 11.30 last week. I picked hi. Up at 10.30, Giving me tie to drop dd off at my friend's and get to the hospital in good time to ind a parking spot. If I was relying on public transport he would have had the morning off.

Given the bus thing - I would definitely keep her off until after the appt. You are not being lazy, you are being sensible.

LoonyRationalist Tue 02-Oct-12 11:38:50

They may be assuming that you will be driving?

I would send her to school in the morning to show willing. Nonetheless I would be ensuring I was a minimum of 15 minutes early for my appointment. To ensure this you would need to collect her at 10am at the latest. It is not up to the school to dictate to you like this. This is a hospital appointment where in my experience you get the appointment you are given, not a routine docs appointment where the school might reasonably expect you to get a more convenient appointment.

School receptionists need to be tough as some parents can take the mickey. You are not and simply need to be firm about when you need to collect her. For the future I agree with Startail, just tell them she has an appointment and you will need to collect her at xx time. Don't cut it fine, for this journey leave at least an hour and be 15 mins early. You can always take some books etc to do with her whilst waiting at the hospital.

mummytime Tue 02-Oct-12 12:25:18

If you have to take her by bus I would take her out for the whole morning, and ignore any cats bum face from the receptionist. You could point out loudly that you have to get there by bus.
Your timings seem far to tight to me.

Madlizzy Tue 02-Oct-12 12:29:41

Don't ask, inform. It's a medical appointment, not you off on your jollies, and that's far more important than a morning in school at the age of 4. Take her out for the morning and make both of your lives a little easier.

I just phone the school in the morning and say

" DD will not be in school this morning , for personal reasons . She will be ready for school this afternoon ."

Try and phone early , so you leave a message in the machine , not with the receptionist .

Sokmonsta Tue 02-Oct-12 13:28:47

It didn't even occur to me to ask if dd could have the afternoon off for an appt. I simply wrote a note stating she had a hospital appt and I would be picking her up at 1pm (end of lunch, 1:40 appt). I'd not send her in for the morning, esp considering you're using public transport. but maybe make the next appt a little earlier so you can be back for lunch/the end of lunch. Of course dd wasn't ready for me so I had to wait 10 mins while they got her ready. Ate into my driving/parking time.

coppertop Tue 02-Oct-12 13:34:42

They probably want to keep her attendance figures up. If she's there for morning and afternoon registration the figures will show she was there for both sessions, even if she was out of school for a couple of hours in between.

Agree though that 15mins isn't enough time to get to the appointment and get checked in at the reception desk.

Casserole Tue 02-Oct-12 14:12:29

Nah, I wouldn't send her in before. I think you're cutting it fine by picking her up at 10:30 - she won't be sitting there waiting for you and the last thing you want is to be late.

a) She's not even statutory school age
b) They appear to have a weird time:space relationship if they think you can send someone across school to get your child, get a 4 year old child out of classroom, coat on, back to reception, off school premises, onto bus, ride on bus, get off bus, wait for 2nd bus, ride on bus, get off 2nd bus, walk through hospital in 15 minutes.
c) School receptionists attend the same charm school as GP receptionists in my experience. Apart from those who are on MN who are OBVIOUSLY a completely different cut and nice, helpful, all round Good People.

Don't send her in. Get there early and have a sticky bun somewhere together before you go in. I decree it. Life's too short to pander to jobsworths, especially when she's only 4 FFS.

I would have the morning off too if relying on public transport. Our hospital is also about 8 miles away with two bus journeys and the journeys alone take about 45 minutes in total, not counting waiting for the second bus!

Don't ask them, tell them. She's your child and if she needs a hospital appointment then she has to go, end of.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 19:36:10

I spoke to the school receptionist again this afternoon and ended up having to explain that we were travelling to hospital using buses, and she has said that it would be more sensible to pick DD up at 9.45am.
I am still left wondering what the point of taking her to school in the morning is, but will pick DD up at 9.45 in the morning.
Thanks to everyone for all of your good advice.

Ephiny Tue 02-Oct-12 19:44:30

I would take the morning off, it seems silly to take her in only to have to pick her up again an hour later.

You do not need the school's permission, or for the receptionist to tell you what time would be 'sensible' for you to leave. You are not the child here!

MarysBeard Tue 02-Oct-12 19:44:35

^Mind you, this is the same receptionist that told me that xp would not be permitted to pick up DD from school, regardless of whether he has parental rights. This was a privilege only reserved for the main carer in separated families.
I politely pointed out that it was 'parental responsibility' and that legally the school couldn't prevent him from picking DD up, he does not need my permission since there is no injunction etc on him. Receptionist told me I was wrong until headteacher confirmed it for her. ^

Jesus wept. What do they do if kids have childminders/nannies? Grandmothers? Grown up siblings? Surely it is common for other adults to pick up kids from school, with prior notice from the parent this should not be an issue.

MarysBeard Tue 02-Oct-12 19:46:02

I am still left wondering what the point of taking her to school in the morning is, but will pick DD up at 9.45 in the morning.

So they can put a tick in the box in the morning register, and meet their attendance targets with Ofsted. angry

usualsuspect3 Tue 02-Oct-12 19:48:59

I would give her the morning off, tough if the school don't like it.

lydiamama Tue 02-Oct-12 19:54:40

How far away is the hospital from the school then? You have to arrive a bit earlier, like at least 10 minutes, so that leaves you with around 5 minutes to travel to the hospital. So, can you do that? I am guessing the answer is no, so that the school has no argument here. Maybe take your little one at 9, and then pick her around 10-10:30. It is a bit ridiculous, but if you can do it, just do.
I do not think she is gonna fail all her grades as a consequence for her missing a morning at the age of 4, they take the attendance too seriously........

OrangeLily Tue 02-Oct-12 19:57:08

Sounds like she is trying to scare you in to the habit of getting your kid in school as much as possible. There are so many parents who don't care and it will affect their targets.

Seriously don't take it in, waste of time!! Disruptive to the class too.

Joiningthegang Tue 02-Oct-12 19:59:52

If it was me i wouldnt take them in until after lunch - she is 4, mostly learning through play - all will ne fine

As other have said she doesnt have to be there at all

McHappyPants2012 Tue 02-Oct-12 20:01:48

just keep her off the morning, speak to the headteacher not the receptionist

LineRunner Tue 02-Oct-12 20:02:04

That's ridiculous, OP. You need to arrive in plenty of time, unstressed.

And when my DD had regular orthodontic appointments, (a) we could sometimes queue for 15 minutes to get registered at the clinic reception; and (b) even if DD went into school for Registration, the school still marked her out as 'medically absent' for the whole session. Oh and (c) the school were very unhelpful about locating DD when they knew we were in a hurry to get to the clinic, especially if I had a taxi waiting to 'save time'. <reminisces and gets the rage>

WelshMaenad Tue 02-Oct-12 20:03:55

Bloody hell, who does she think she is?

DS has lots of medical and therapy appointments and we often take her out for an entire session rather than drive her in only to turn around as soon as we get home to fetch her again. This is usually to minimise distress for her as she finds early pickups etc quite unsettling. I tell the school when she will be out of school. It's never occurred to me to disclose her actual appointment time, our transport arrangements or anything else relevant to my decision. I tell them she has physio and will be coming in to school st lunchtime. If they tried to dictate how I ought to be organisingysrkf regarding the appointments I would laugh in their faces.

WelshMaenad Tue 02-Oct-12 20:05:22

In DD's school medical appointment absences are classified differently so they don't count against attendance targets. Don't all schools do this?

Zipitydooda Tue 02-Oct-12 20:09:28

Receptionist is being ridiculous. Deal with the class teacher in future.
What is the point in you having to comeback and collect her 45 mins after you've dropped her off! It's Reception not NASA for goodness sake!!

LineRunner Tue 02-Oct-12 20:09:41

Yes, Welsh, they are authorised absences rather than unauthorised. But I wondered why I was busting a gut to get DD in for part of the session, plus taxi fares, when the school was still sending us absence percentages that didn't diferentiate and gave us no credit for effort!

AngryFeet Tue 02-Oct-12 20:10:54

DS had an appt at 11 today and I dropped him off then picked him up at 10.30 and dropped him back at 12.30. Pain in the arse for me but I don't think they should miss anymore school than necessary.

LineRunner Tue 02-Oct-12 20:14:04

I'm sure it's easier if you have a car. I have had to rely on buses and taxis. The whole stress factor about arriving on time, queuing to book in, etc, is really crap.

Although I am reliably told that parking is also hideous.

WelshMaenad Tue 02-Oct-12 20:14:47

No, school has a more detailed classification system, an authorised 'sick' absence is different from having a hospital appointment, appointments don't count towards attendance %. There's also an educational absence option, which what her lovely class teacher used when she had to have the day off for a ballet show in reception.

cutegorilla Tue 02-Oct-12 20:15:40

They just want the "present" mark on the register for the morning because they get in trouble if absence numbers are too high. I would take her in and pick her up again this time but try and get an earlier appointment if you can in future so you don't have to.

autumnlights12 Tue 02-Oct-12 20:16:59

Tell the school what you're doing. Don't ask. I'd be keeping her out if I were you. What are the school going to do, fine you? The worst case scenario is an unauthorized absence, which is no great shakes.

hlipop Tue 02-Oct-12 20:25:32

is there much point in her being their for 45 mins?? seems pointless surely she will have just got started doing an activity?? maybe try to get a early appt for the next appt - but for this time take her out- how far do you live from the school? public transport isn't always greatly relyable

RandomMess Tue 02-Oct-12 20:34:57

Honestly I've let mine go in for their attendance mark and then taken them afterwards, keeps the school happy and makes the trip to the appointment easier.

LineRunner Tue 02-Oct-12 20:37:41

My family's experience has been that NHS children's hospital out-patient clinics tend to run during school hours, with quite long waiting times and double-booking.

The earliest appointments are always after 10am.

My DD also had to spend about half an hour waiting outside Welfare at school in order to be given her absence slip.

So stressful.

fuckwittery Tue 02-Oct-12 21:01:12

it's not her business. Write a letter to the class teacher, give it to the teacher a couple of days beforehand.
Dear ms X
DD has a hospital appointment at 11.15am at Y hospital. As we are travelling there by public transport, she will not be in school in the morning. I will bring her to school in the afternoon if we are back in time, but it may not be possible due to the length of the appointment and the need to take public transport back.

That will cover it, no need to speak to receptionist at all. I would get an earlier bus as the one you suggests gets you there at 11.10 if no delays, I'd go straight after dropping your other children at school if you need to do so!

jimmenycricket Tue 02-Oct-12 21:10:09

Is the school about to be inspected? Often they get hot on register attendance when that is about to happen. So for example if the child is there at 9 am but then buggers off to a hospital appt and returns before register at 1, the child is technically still there all day.

And I feel your pain, I did four school runs today to take mine to a medical thing and then back for 1pm.

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson Tue 02-Oct-12 21:29:22

No way would I let a receptionist dictate to me! No way! In fact I wouldn't let any of the school staff dictate to me either. What a load of tosh about only the main carer having the 'privilege' of picking up the child from school. I would be making a formal complaint about it. Who the heck does she think she is?

I would tell school your plans in future rather than ask. Some schools seem to get a kick out of trying to control and dictate to parents!

cestlavielife Tue 02-Oct-12 23:12:21

Of course you shouldgo straight to hospital this time.
For future appts ask for first one of the morning or the very last one so it then makes more sense to go to school first or to just arrive late.

littlemisssarcastic Tue 02-Oct-12 23:36:54

Well, I have probably left it too late to change it from picking DD up at 9.45 tomorrow, although another reason I would have preferred DD to take the morning off is because she has only been at school a few weeks, and is still settling in.
My gut instinct is that if I pick her up at 9.45am, she is going to become confused/upset and think of school as an option IYSWIM, and then is not going to want to go back to school in the afternoon.
I thought if I took her back at the end of lunchtime, it would be easier for DD to go back into class with the other DC.
She has been at school for such a short time and gets cold feet if we arrive in the playground after the other children have already lined up to go in (which has happened twice now blush ), or if the TA is not there, it can be much more difficult to get DD into the classroom and takes 3 times as long. (TA helps out in another class too so isn't always in DD's class.)
As soon as anything is different from how DD expected it to be, DD withdraws, and yet she is one of the most confident DC there according to the teachers, but I appreciate she has only been going to school for a few weeks and is only just turned 4. (One of youngest in her class.)
That was another reason why I wanted it to be clean cut...hospital in morning, then school at lunch time.
But I have left it too late now, so it will be lots of toing and froing, and hopefully, DD wont get upset. sad

DaveMccave Tue 02-Oct-12 23:41:49

Ridiculous. They are worried about their attendance marks, because they get marked for it on ofsted, rather than thinking about yours and your families needs. She doesn't legally have to be in school 'til she is 5. Something I took advantage of when my daughter was 4. I'd occasionally keep her off if she was 'overtired' and we'd have a quiet day out at the zoo instead of going during school holidays when it was manic. I wouldn't dream of taking her in for 2 hours then rushing to the hospital for the appointment. I stopped letting my daughter have days off once she was in year 1, as I knew it would start to effect her in school. but at 4, they are still babies, and 2 hours is neither here nor there.

DaveMccave Tue 02-Oct-12 23:44:18

You haven't left it too late. Call in the morning first thing, say she won't be in in the morning because you think it will confuse her, and you don't want her think you may be coming to pick her up on other school days, and say she will be in at lunchtime. Simple.

Madlizzy Tue 02-Oct-12 23:53:26

Just wanted to add - the receptionist is not the one with authority to say yes or no. That comes from the head teacher. Phone in the morning and inform.

Zipitydooda Wed 03-Oct-12 00:09:24

You are perfectly correct in your reasoning. I would copy and paste it in a letter to the school along with something that expresses how stressed you have been made to feel by the way you have been dealt with by the school.
It seems like a power hungry receptionist with no thought of other people's feelings going way beyond the responsibilities of her actual job.

It's a pita trying to have them in when you have to travel by public transport to hospital. Dd was attending hospital appointments once a week for a long time and her appointments for clinic were usually around 1.30, she always wanted to be in school for the morning which was fine for 1.30 as I could pick her up at the beginning of lunch and she'd have a packed lunch on the train. If the appointment had been at 11.30 she wouldn't have been in school during the morning and she wouldn't have been back by the afternoon either. The school would have had to lump it. Dd's medical appointments come first.

If I were you I'd ring early tomorrow morning and hope you get an answer phone. Explaining that your travel plans have changed and your dd will not be in school until after her medical appointment.

piprabbit Wed 03-Oct-12 00:23:08

Take your DD to school. Walk round to reception. Settle down with a good book.
At 9:30am walk up to the desk and say "I'm here to collect my DD".

If you have a flask of coffee, all to the good.

littlemisssarcastic Wed 03-Oct-12 08:06:01

piprabbit
I am going to do exactly what you have suggested, minus the flask because I don't have one. grin
Thank you to everyone for all of your advice. It has been very helpful. I will try to arrange future appointments for earlier/later.
<<Feels like a naughty school girl>>

januaryjojo Wed 03-Oct-12 08:22:02

My DD, older than yours 15, has a consultant appointment at a hospital about 15-20 miles away. Up the M1.

Her appt is at 11.30. (I have no choice in making the times, cons secretary sends them out)

She won't be in school today,
1) because I tend to leave an hour before the appt, to ensure we get parked and get there on time, traffic on the M1 is unpredictable, sometimes it takes us 20 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes!!

2) never entirely sure what the cons is going to do, more tests or a quick check up. confused

3) today her school has a half day! smile

Hope the appointment goes ok for you. I wish you luck trying to arrange appointment times to fit in with school. My DS has monthly visits to the hospital dentist, and has done for the last 3 years and it is almost impossible to get them at a sensible time for school - earlyish, lunchtime or late afternoon. The receptionists look at me as if I'm mad when I ask for them, and the school spend all their time complaining about how long it all takes!

We are currently on appointments before 9.30am which is amazing, but no doubt that will change soon and we'll be back on mid morning ones. The hospital's other speciality is to confirm in writing, then 24 hours before cancel - that has happened so many times it's almost expected now.

OrangeLily Wed 03-Oct-12 22:36:42

Was the appointment today? Did you do that? I'd love to have seen you sit there nonchalantly

Ha, I must have tempted fate. DS's appointment for Monday was cancelled yesterday (2 days after receiving the confirmation letter) and put back a month.

littlemisssarcastic Thu 04-Oct-12 14:13:46

DD had her appointment yesterday. I dropped her off at the classroom as usual, then walked straight round to the office and explained I was there to wait for DD.
Receptionist joked and said 'Don't you have a home to go to?' blush
I said 'Yes, but I prefer to wait here, since it's not worth walking home only to turn around and come straight back again.'
I duly sat and waited, and at 9.30, receptionist then went to collect DD, so we didn't leave the school until 9.45.
We managed to get to the appointment on time, but only just and afterwards, I took DD for some lunch, before dropping her back at school for the afternoon.

So...for next time, the hospital are going to post my appointment.
Next time, do I just tell the school what I am doing, rather than wait for them to tell me what they want me to do wrt picking DD up/times etc?

nickeldaisical Thu 04-Oct-12 14:28:43

I'm just imagining getting to our hospital that is 8 miles away.

I would normally drive, but for an 11:15 appt, I would leave my house no later than 10:15.

you need to pick her up at 10 - don't take any chances if you are going by two busses!

nickeldaisical Thu 04-Oct-12 14:30:03

grin

you only just got there on time, and I love your style grin

WelshMaenad Thu 04-Oct-12 14:32:39

Yes. Just tell them what's happening. Don't disclose apt time, travel arrangements - just when she will be arriving at school. My notes to school are generally thus:

"Dear teacher,

MaenadDD has an appointment with her consultant paediatrician on the morning if 4th October, she will not be present for registration. She will be arriving in school for 1pm afternoon registration. She will not require a school lunch on this day.

Yours,

Maenad".

Nothing else is any business of the receptionist!!

SmellsLikeTeenStrop Thu 04-Oct-12 15:50:18

Yes, just tell the school what you are doing be it taking your DD in late or getting her out of school early.

My DS1 has regular orthodontist appointments and I never ask his school permission to take him out. I inform them that he has an appointment and he'll either be in school late, or I need him to leave school early. In your shoes I would have kept DD off all morning, to hell with school and their quota's, your daughters health is more important than 100% attendance rates.

Zipitydooda Thu 04-Oct-12 18:58:11

Also communicate with her teacher rather than the receptionist.

Woozley Thu 04-Oct-12 19:00:41

Fab, OP, just fab.

goldenlula Thu 04-Oct-12 19:45:23

I Wrote a letter to the school last week listing the appointments that ds1 and 2 have this term (1 for ds1, several for ds2). I will then tell the class teacher what time I will pick up or let the office know if they will not be in/back before or after an appointment. I did also show them the appointment letters.

Pavlovthecat Thu 04-Oct-12 20:07:42

brilliant! <claps OP>

littlemisssarcastic Sat 06-Oct-12 09:50:30

Thank you everyone. &#8810;takes a bow grin &#8811;
I originally spoke to the class teacher to say DD wouldn't be in school that morning, as suggested, but class teacher told me absences have to be dealt with by school office. sad

littlemisssarcastic Sat 06-Oct-12 09:51:16

Sorry for last post mistakes. Am on my phone.

3littlefrogs Sat 06-Oct-12 09:58:10

For future reference, don't involve the receptionist at all. It is none of her business.

Write a letter to the HT, cc the class teacher, saying "DD will not be in school on the morning of ..........because she has a hospital appointment".

Re collecting from school, do the same, saying "DD will be collected by ........ on whatever day it is".

If the HT has a query, he or she will ring you.

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