Lyrics That Are Wrong. AIBU?

(245 Posts)
TiggyD Thu 13-Sep-12 20:28:02

Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchel
"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum.
And they charged all the people
A dollar and a half just to see 'em."

Is it just me, or does that sound like really good value for money? They have all the trees! A complete monopoly and they only charge a dollar and a half. Maybe they make the money back on the gift shop and food and drink but even if they charge National Trust prices I still think it'll be a bargain day out.

I always thought it was "twenty five bucks just to see 'em"
I wonder if the price has gone up with cover versions over the years grin

TyrannoWearsGoldKnickers Thu 13-Sep-12 20:37:06

Dunno.

'Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you'.

What the fuck does that even mean? What a fucking silly instruction.

Susieloo Thu 13-Sep-12 20:43:52

Last gaga's 'marry the night' really gets on my nerves, every time I hear it I just want to shout 'well you can't so move on' it makes no sense at allangry

degutastic Thu 13-Sep-12 20:48:19

That awful Bruno Mars Marry You song drives me insane when it's on the radio - "is it that look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice, who cares baby I think I want to marry you"

Seriously hmm being pissed sounds like an excellent reason to marry someone. Well done mate, you're a tosser.

TiggyD Thu 13-Sep-12 20:50:37

Jailbreak - Thin Lizzy
"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in this town"

How many jails does that town have?

Cameraneverlies Thu 13-Sep-12 20:51:36

How the very flip can one set fire to the rain?

lovebunny Thu 13-Sep-12 20:52:32

'everywhere you go' always sounded like 'you always take the devil with you,' to me!

that tree thing was very worrying in the 70s.

i blame you for the moolit sky and the sleeping satellite??? WTF

TiggyD Thu 13-Sep-12 21:01:11

"Are we human or are we dancers?" - The Killers.

Isn't it possible to be both human and a dancer?

AuntLucyInPeru Thu 13-Sep-12 21:03:33

Worse than that, in think the lyric is, 'Are we human, or are we dance*r*'. WTF is that?!

ZillionChocolate Thu 13-Sep-12 21:05:44

On the Wombats first album one song refers to his GP having a PhD, possible, but unlikely, and another song refers to a stripper as a lady of the night. Really like the album but those two lines make my teeth itch.

ppppppppenguin Thu 13-Sep-12 21:06:26

also Bruno Mars marry you: "if you wake up and you wanna break up that's cool" what's the point in getting married then??

That stupid song about the girl who doesn't know she's beautiful and that's why she's beautiful. If you tell her she's beautiful then her reason for being beautiful disappears and she becomes ugly!

Pickles77 Thu 13-Sep-12 21:06:49

Gnarls barkley- crazy
I remember when, I remember when I lost my mind.

Errr if you've lost your mind how can you remember? hmm

Shakey1500 Thu 13-Sep-12 21:07:53

May I suggest the entire catalogue of Michael Bubble's lyrics? wink

ArtexMonkey Thu 13-Sep-12 21:11:26

Can't fight the moonlight.

No leann, well spotted dear, indeed you can't hmm

Lovelygoldboots Thu 13-Sep-12 21:12:46

It's clouds illusions I recall, in Both sides now, classic Joni Mitchell and is a really bonkers lyric.

Yourefired Thu 13-Sep-12 21:14:12

Whereever I lay my hat that's my home. What if you left it on the bus, would that be your home. You're a silly man.

BigHairyFlowers Thu 13-Sep-12 21:16:06

"See if I was in your blood, then you wouldn't be so ugly"

from Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy

which I know is not the point of the thread, but I would hate to pass up an opportunity to express my desire to jump up and down on Kid Creole's head.

And his coconuts too!

angry

babybythesea Thu 13-Sep-12 21:16:41

The Spice Girls must get a mention surely - I really really really wanna what now?? If it is that important for you to share with me, then tell me precisely what you mean.

DrawnOnAndDogEared Thu 13-Sep-12 21:17:06

Squeeze - Up the junction

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter

confused

diddl Thu 13-Sep-12 21:17:08

Macarthur Park!

PoshPaula Thu 13-Sep-12 21:17:14

Is it the BeeGees that sang 'More than a woman'. most misogynistic lyric ever.

Are we human, is a Hunter S. Thompson quote, here

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas, what, not even on the atlas mountains? Never mind that most of Africa is south of the equator, so its summer there.

hugoagogo Thu 13-Sep-12 21:19:34

Kid Creole is a shit.

DrawnOnAndDogEared Thu 13-Sep-12 21:20:23

I have a total soft spot for Macarthur Park and know all the lyrics blush

Posh maybe she's a cyborg? Or a pre-op transexual?

formerdiva Thu 13-Sep-12 21:22:29

Ooh ooh ooh - has to be Shana Twain. He's a rocket scientist? And actually happens to be Brad Pitt? And you're still not impressed? WTF is the matter with you, Shania?

DrawnOnAndDogEared Thu 13-Sep-12 21:24:18

..and not forgetting "You're so vain ... you probably think this song is about you"

....erm

EverybodysDoeEyed Thu 13-Sep-12 21:25:21

I thought it was

Is it that look in your eyes, or is it your dancing shoes, who cares baby, I think I want to marry you

I thought he must be a shoe fetishist.

Yourefired Thu 13-Sep-12 21:25:39

And another thing, you did not build this city on rock and roll. I would hope it's built on bed rock, and an integrated utility system.

REM everybody hurts. Unless they have a defective nervous system.

thixotropic Thu 13-Sep-12 21:29:23

Didn't tim Finn say weather with you was about taking your mood, good or bad with you?
Or did I just imagine that bit?

NoMoreNotNever Thu 13-Sep-12 21:29:45

My fault, not his, but all my life I have thought David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' included "tremble like, er, flour" - couldn't understand what he was on about, or why he was so inarticulate about it.

Heard it today and it was suddenly obvious blush hmm.

DeWe Thu 13-Sep-12 21:32:41

What about the Flanders and Swan song about the buses:

"If tickets cost a pound a-piece
why should you make a fuss..."

I had to explain to the dc that in those days £1 was a lot of money... it costs me more than 3x that to do a less than 10 minute journey round here-and even the dc are more than £2.

I think the lyrics that really make me wonder why are from the song "Let us with a gladsome mind"
One of the verses goes:
"Let us praise his name abroad
For of gods he is the God."

Now if they'd had "For of gods he is the Lord" it would rhyme like all the other verses. I always wonder if the writer just wrote it down wrong for the publishers or somehthing.

Nobhead Thu 13-Sep-12 21:33:45

"Young girl get out of my mind, my love for you was way out of line, better run girl you're much too young girl." Gary Puckett your lyrics are VERY VERY wrong my friend.

SassySpice Thu 13-Sep-12 21:36:39

Four am in the morning, carried away by a moonlight shadow

The Stones Paint It Black
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new-born baby it just happens every day

Presumably Mr Jagger has just pooed himself with anguih or possetted over Keith Richards.

diddl Thu 13-Sep-12 21:39:28

"Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
Im on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do
I can take you higher
Im on fire"

Think Bruce Springsteen might be even more wrong!

Somebloke Thu 13-Sep-12 21:41:01

"i blame you for the moolit sky and the sleeping satellite??? WTF"

Tasim Archer was complaining about the politicisation of the space race. And did so very nicely I thought...

Ladies and gentlemen I give you Shakira:

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains

What? Just, just, what ??

Nobhead Thu 13-Sep-12 21:43:18

Holy shit Fiddl yes we have aclear winner for wrong lyrics Bruce Springsteen wins the gold.

Nobhead Thu 13-Sep-12 21:43:40

Diddl even-sorry

RobinSparkles Thu 13-Sep-12 21:51:15

"I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer."

WTF?!?

KittyBump Thu 13-Sep-12 22:02:36

I think in the Bruce Springsteen one 'Daddy' is referring to her husband not her father! Hope so anyway shock

The lyric that annoys me is in Happy Together by The Turtles when he sings 'the only one for me is you and you for me' - that's the same thing!

DrawnOnAndDogEared Thu 13-Sep-12 22:06:25

<ponders>
<ponders some more>
you're right Kitty ... it is the same thing grin

SuffolkNWhat Thu 13-Sep-12 22:06:38

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know"

Actually Wally, and I do still totally love you btw, it should be "Now you're just somebody whom I used to know"

EverybodysDoeEyed Thu 13-Sep-12 22:17:24

What's the song with the lyric

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
I'd rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news

The whole song is weird
I can think of a lot of things I would rather do than walk through a dark park but eating toast in front of the news isn't the first that springs to mind

Unless I've completely misheard the lyrics of course!!

Gusthetheatrecat Thu 13-Sep-12 22:18:43

David Essex, A Winter's Tale.
'The nights are colder now
Maybe I should close the door.
And anyway the snow has covered all your footsteps....'

Er, yeah, David. Might be an idea to close the door. Given that it is actually SNOWING, you idiot.

(I know this is a terrible song to get irate about. But it's on a Christmas compilation we have, and I listen to it many times each December, and seem to get more wound up by it with each year)

DrawnOnAndDogEared Thu 13-Sep-12 22:21:53

DoeEyed - Life by Des'ree .. you could do a whole thread on that one song!

Mmm, yeah yeah yeah
Oh yeah, yeah yeah
Oh life, oh life

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around
Ooh, I get the shivers

I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbit's tail

I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo
Life, doo, doo doo
Doo, doo doo

So after all is said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to

Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Oh life, oh life

Oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life

DrawnOnAndDogEared Thu 13-Sep-12 22:22:42

....and it's a rabbit's foot that is lucky surely?

freddiefrog Thu 13-Sep-12 22:25:17

Labrinth - Earthquake

Why the heck would you throw bombs at an earthquake?

wholovesyou Thu 13-Sep-12 22:26:51

Westlife : How am I supposed to leave now, with you looking like that?

Translation : Ah well, 30 seconds ago I was gonna up and leave your sorry arse. But you have put on some lippy. So I will stay... for now.

EverybodysDoeEyed Thu 13-Sep-12 22:27:04

Oh yes, the ghost bit. It's like she just found a book o rhyming words and was incapable of putting them together!

TyrannoWearsGoldKnickers Thu 13-Sep-12 22:30:09

'I just died in your arms tonight - it must have been something you said'

Sorry, what? Can you imagine actually having that conversation?
'Oh, DH, I just absolutely died in your arms tonight'
'Really tyranno? That's an extreme reaction. What on earth caused it?'
'Dunno confused, must have been something you said'

hmm

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Sep-12 22:32:05

December 1963 (Oh What A Night) - Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons

'half the time she spent harassing me
She was everything I dreamed she'd be'

That's very strange

AViewfromtheFridge Thu 13-Sep-12 22:34:57

Neil Diamond:
"Sweet Caroline,
Good times never seemed so good."

Well, yes. You said they were good. They were good times. Couldn't you think of another adjective - you know, for emphasis?

Megatron Thu 13-Sep-12 22:35:43

Abra abra cadabra I wanna reach out and grab ya. Fuck off Steve and your shite lyrics.

RobotLover68 Thu 13-Sep-12 22:36:41

Paolo nutini

Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time just go there,
Lay down beside me

Really creeps me out - look dude I don't want to be with you anymore so why would I want to lay next to you - I call it the stalker song <shudder>

RobotLover68 Thu 13-Sep-12 22:37:47

December 1963

It's actually

Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me
She was everything I dreamed she'd be

Raspberryandorangesorbet Thu 13-Sep-12 22:41:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EverybodysDoeEyed Thu 13-Sep-12 22:42:46

Jordin sparks

'If I die before I wake'

Well love you won't be waking up if your dead

And jls

I'm not sure a fully qualified doctor would tell you that you will die if you don't get back together. Talk about trying to pull a massive guilt trip

MorrisZapp Thu 13-Sep-12 22:44:18

Neil Diamond:

I am, I said
To no-one there
And no one heard at all
Not even a chair

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Sep-12 22:46:30

Robot - well I'll have to listen very hard indeed to make it sound like that - lol - like squinting with my ears!

RobotLover68 Thu 13-Sep-12 22:51:10

like squinting with my ears

Cool description! I get exactly what you mean hahahaha

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Sep-12 22:53:14

And if Adele went on the Relationships board with 'Someone Like You' there'd be fur flying as in 'Fuck off you sad stalker' smile

MakeHayNotStraw Thu 13-Sep-12 22:53:32

John Lennon - Imagine no religion too.

Nonononono - no religion either. Wrong.

And exactly how can ones love be in league with the freeway?

RagamuffinAndFidget Thu 13-Sep-12 22:54:32

Is it Christina Parry who sings that bollocks song with the lyric "I'm gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul?"

Er.. no you're not. A cold is a virus. You're not likely to catch it from someone's icy soul now, are you?

Melpomene Thu 13-Sep-12 23:01:54

I can't believe that nobody's mentioned Alanis Morrisette's 'Isn't it ironic' yet. Virtually nothing in those lyrics meets the proper definition of irony; someone once commented that a better chorus for that song would be 'Isn't it a bummer?'

"When the clouds arrive we'll live on Ocean Drive"

That's a bloody efficient conveyancing process.

ErrorError Thu 13-Sep-12 23:02:34

Bruno Mars really bugs me for all reasons listed above. He can't have put much thought into marriage if they're both drunk and he's not that bothered if she leaves him the next day anyway! I bet he also wouldn't really catch a grenade or throw himself in front of a train for a girl either, when she wouldn't "do the same" for him. Get a clue and move on Bruno. Ridiculous lyrics! (I posted in another thread about "Marry You" being used at lots of weddings lately, and I wondered if the couples actually listened to the lyrics.

I'm surprised "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette hasn't come up yet. Comedian Ed Byrne did a whole sketch about how un-ironic the entire song was!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT1TVSTkAXg

ErrorError Thu 13-Sep-12 23:03:15

Oops, Melpomene, pipped me to the post re: Alanis! grin

DoreensEatingHerSoreen Thu 13-Sep-12 23:03:37

Seven little girls sittin' in the back seat
Huggin and a'kissin with Fred
I said, why don't one of you come up and sit beside me
And this is what the seven girls said
(All together now, one, two, three)
(Keep you mind on your drivin')
(Keep you hands on the wheel)
(Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead)
(We're havin' fun sittin' in the back seat)
(Kissin' and a'huggin with Fred)

oh and the backstreet boys came up with: "Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical" hmm

Melpomene Thu 13-Sep-12 23:03:54

Oh, and there's a song on the radio playlists at the moment with a line that goes "Touch my skin with your body", which always makes me grit my teeth when I hear it.

Alanis Morrisette is just so wrong, she can never be right in Isn't it ironic? It's one of those things that make you want aural brain bleach. angry

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v9yUVgrmPY And the first few comments on that link are even more depressing.

somedayma Thu 13-Sep-12 23:04:10

this needs to go in classics, it's fucking hilarious! great thread grin

greenearrings Thu 13-Sep-12 23:04:54

Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields,
Sold in a market down in new orleans.
Scarred old slaver know he's doin alright.
Hear him whip the women just around midnight.
Ah brown sugar how come you taste so good
(a-ha) brown sugar, just like a young girl should
A-huh.

That's lovely,Mick Jagger hmm

EverybodysDoeEyed Thu 13-Sep-12 23:05:20

I think Bruno thinks that offerin to marry a woman will make her want to shag you

No bruno, it makes you come across as a nutter

ErrorError Thu 13-Sep-12 23:06:54

Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me

If I could write you a song
And make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.

I get this freaky image of him trying to tuck a girl into his armpit!

TraineeBabyCatcher Thu 13-Sep-12 23:10:14

I dont register songs on a high enough level to hear the words, if that makes sense. I hear the song, but not the lyrics, and sometimes i just make up the words that fit with it and make sense, and then someone will say xyz are the words not that, and im like wtf, really? Thats just bullshit song writing.

AmandinePoulain Thu 13-Sep-12 23:16:04

Tiggy I can explain "Are we human? Or are we dancer?" - I heard a discussion on the radio about it. It's in reference to an activist in America years ago who argued that people shouldn't just go along with the crowd ie. dance along like "good citizens", we're people not sheep, something along those lines anyway!

YY to the sex is on fire lyric.

I'm assuming he's wailing about having an STI. I don't know if "oh oh I have the clap" would have made it into the song.

Urgh - anything by Scouting for Girls. Ever. Even if they haven't written it yet.

thepeoplesprincess Thu 13-Sep-12 23:24:21

"You say it best.... when you say nothing at all."

I'm sure many a long married man has thought this about his wife, but I'm not sure it's the touchingly romantic sentiment Ronan was going for.

Oh and anything by the Killers. I can't stand that bloke's voice. Makes me want to take my ears off with a rusty spoon. And eat them.

ipswichwitch Thu 13-Sep-12 23:41:09

Supertramp "take a look at my girlfriend"
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
I can't seem to get a lot

Well I wouldn't shag you either if you wrote a song saying I'm a crap girlfriend and you're gonna hop over to America to check out girls in California you twunt.
That song makes me all irrational every time I hear it

"I can't get no satisfaction"

Any. Just... Fucking.... ANY!!!

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 00:21:17

All thing by Sean Paul because I don't understand what the hell he's saying. One of his lyrics sounds like "Need a lot of cheese up in my head". Just googled it and it's actually TREES. Equally as confusing!

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 00:21:49

all things

CalamityKate Fri 14-Sep-12 00:36:45

How about Lisa Stansfield lamenting that she don't know when and don't know why, why he's gone away and then proving via the rest of the lyrics that she knows EXACTLY why he's gone away? We had a quarrel. I said a lot of nasty things. I did too much lying, wasted too much time etc. See, when you think about it you know why he buggered off. And you don't think he's coming back. Stop crying and start being all woman.

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 00:44:41

Ohh that bugged me too. Been around the world and I I I, I can't find my baby! I was about 4 when that song came out and thought there were far too many I's in it, and she must have been pretty careless to lose her baby around the world! blush

PeskyRat Fri 14-Sep-12 00:49:53

BlueSuedeStiletto that Sean Paul song - TREES = slang for weed.

Explains a lot grin

PeskyRat Fri 14-Sep-12 00:51:41

whoops...no, not BlueSuedeStilettos, ErrorError erm blush

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 00:55:31

And another... The Piña colada Song! I actually really like the song in general, and it has a catchy tune. However, the whole concept is rather worrying.

1) Man is dissatisfied with wife and places a personal ad in paper to have an affair.
2) Finds his ideal woman and they exchange communication about their shared interests.
3) Meet up in a bar and man realises the stranger IS his ACTUAL WIFE.
4) Both laugh nervously at the coincidence and all is well, they have re-kindled their love...

What is most annoying about this song is that neither addresses the fact that they were both looking to cheat on each other by placing ads in the personals, so they need to deal with those issues first before suddenly acting lovey dovey again, just because they never realised before that they had the same things in common. Furthermore, if they didn't know they had the same things in common when they got married... what DID they have in common for them to fall in love and get married in the first place!!! Argh!

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 00:56:12

I never knew trees was slang for weed! Big blush for me too!

WorraLiberty Fri 14-Sep-12 00:58:12

Mike Oldfield - Moonlight Shadow

4am in the morning...carried away by a moonlight shadow.

What? As opposed to 4am in the fucking afternoon?? confused

sashh Fri 14-Sep-12 06:43:08

Isn't it ironic, er no actually all your examples are not ironic.

babybythesea

I always thought it was jigajiga but they had to change so as not to offend get played on the radio

fluffyraggies Fri 14-Sep-12 07:47:14

I've got you under my skin
Where the rain can't get in

And if the sweat pours out
Just shout
I'll try to swim and pull you out

The The. Uncertain smile I love this song but those lines always make me think Yeeeuk!

RobinSparkles Fri 14-Sep-12 07:51:13

I think most song writers are high when they sit down to write (or at least pissed).

MakeHayNotStraw Fri 14-Sep-12 10:07:16

Has anyone mentioned "every breath you take" yet? Stalker...

There's also a Eurythmics song, the lyrics to which are - I am convinced - "I want you suffering circumcision". shock

Dahlen Fri 14-Sep-12 10:39:44

The recent song by Example called 'say nothing' brings out my inner pedant.

"You don't have to say nothing, say nothing, cos your eyes do the talking"

Well if she doesn't have to say nothing, then obviously you you are happy for her to say something

BananaBubbles Fri 14-Sep-12 10:53:20

'RAZORLIGHT - SOMEWHERE ELSE'
And I met a girl
She asked me my name
I told her what it was

Apparently no one has ever thought of telling someone their name before,when asked.What a novel idea.

She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

WELL? What's the brilliant plan then? You make no mention of aforementioned plan in the rest of the song, you total Blunt.

Mandy2003 Fri 14-Sep-12 11:07:06

We have this on a loop at work. It's by Frank Sinatra and there's something about the way he sings it that makes it sound well pervy, definitely misogynist:

"When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen

When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one

When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five…"

And "It's raining men" - what's all that about then?

And "Chasing Pavements" - always sounds like a song about falling off your bike to me!

Artesia Fri 14-Sep-12 11:07:57

The Jackson 5- I'll be there:

" if you ever find someone new, he'd better be good to you
Cos if he doesn't, i'll be there"

Arrgghh - it's not doesn't, it's isn't. Annoys me every time I hear it...

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Fri 14-Sep-12 11:19:10

Under the Bridge contains the line:
"She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy"

It's a song about Los Angeles, so I can only assume that somehow the city has developed consciousness and being embraced by it causes flatulence.

ipswichwitch Fri 14-Sep-12 13:07:40

makehay I'm amazed how many people have that as their first dance song at their wedding. Have they never actually listened to it?? Frankly it's stalkerish and rather creepy. So an entirely appropriate way to express your love for each other on your wedding day...

EverybodysDoeEyed Fri 14-Sep-12 13:10:46

Dolly Parton and stand by your man

Isnt that about staying with an abusive man?

TwistyBraStrap Fri 14-Sep-12 13:16:58

"I am beautiful, no matter what they say,
Words can't bring me down,
So don't you bring me down today."

If words can't bring you down, what are you expecting? A rugby tackle?

GreenD Fri 14-Sep-12 13:24:49

"my bootscoopin' baby is driving me crazy,
my obsession from a western,
my dad's called Dave"

What the hell is that all about?

toweraboveyou Fri 14-Sep-12 13:27:03

How about Busted?

''I've been to the year three thousand,
Not much has changed but they lived under water...''

That's a pretty fucking huge change.

BananaBubbles Fri 14-Sep-12 13:28:16

I think you'll find the lyrics are 'my boot-scooting baby' and 'My dance floor date'.grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Fri 14-Sep-12 13:29:24

Love this thread!

My sister thought that Queen's "Get down, Make love" was "Get down, Bake Low".

What about that "Save all your kisses for me... etc".... "even though you're only 3". Sounds very, very pervy to me?

harleyd Fri 14-Sep-12 13:31:24

"my bootscoopin' baby is driving me crazy,
my obsession from a western,
my dad's called Dave"

grin made me LOL

BananaBubbles Fri 14-Sep-12 13:32:09

Stand By Your Man was Tammy Wynette,not Dolly Parton,and it does seem to be about either an abusive asshole,or an adulterous one. I'm not sure which,but it's pretty offensive to both men and women. I hate it too.

Razorlight are shit too, though.

Scary lyrics from Bangles: "I believe it's meant to be, darling/I watch you when you are sleeping/ You belong with me" <stalker alert>

Rude lyrics from Alison Moyet: "I want you to grow in my hand" and I "a warm injection is all I need to calm the pain"

Least amount of effort every lyrics from Fatboy Slim: "The Funk Soul Brother, Check It Out Now The Funk Soul Brother, Right About Now, The Funk Soul Brother.." and repeat for all infinity.

Just wrong for a song marketed at tweenies/young children - "Kiss Me Here, Touch Me There, Hanky-Panky/ You Can Touch, You Can Play " (Barbie Girl by Aqua)

BeautifulBlondePineapple Fri 14-Sep-12 13:37:22

she's so lovely
she's so lovely
she's so lovely
she's so lovely
etc
etc

lovely is such a shite word.

picnicbasketcase Fri 14-Sep-12 13:39:14

Still chuckling at 'my Dad's called Dave'
gringrin

aquashiv Fri 14-Sep-12 13:40:12

'I will do anything for love but I won't do that'confused
WHAT WHAT wont you do MR Meatyloaf? I have watched the big fella interviewed explaining what he wont do and I still am non the wiser.

grin GreenD
Artesia, that gets me every time too! How hard is it, really?!

picnicbasketcase Fri 14-Sep-12 13:44:37

Speaking of Busted - that song that said 'I messed my pants when we flew over France' is pretty wrong.

picnicbasketcase Fri 14-Sep-12 13:45:37

Aquashiv - it's either cheating on her or bumsex that he won't do, but I'm not sure which.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere nooooo not pervy. I was 3 when it came out, and my Dad had to work away and one of my earliest memories is of him singing that down the phone to me!

I currently hate Black heart by Stoosh-

Daddy I've fallen for a monster
Somehow he's scaring me to death
He's big and he's bad
I love him like mad
Momma, he's the best I ever had
Daddy I've fallen for a monster
He got a black heart

So he's abusive but he a good shag so thats OK then??? hmm

ppppppppenguin Fri 14-Sep-12 14:18:12

absolutely PMSL at "my dads called Dave" grin

OH, the number of people who pick totally inappropriate songs for their weddings because they've only listened to the chorus! Beautiful by James Blunt FFS it's all about how he's never going to get the girl and in the video he fucking drowns himself (So, not all bad then...). About 10 years ago it used to be You're Gorgeous by Baby Bird... Erm, that's a song about exploiting a wannabe model for a porn mag.

The current one that you get totally wrong if you only half listen to it is Tonight We Are Young by Fun. I like the song, but it's thoroughly disturbing if you listen to all the lyrics; it's basically about a toxic, violent relationship and him begging to be forgiven for attacking and stalking her.

EverybodysDoeEyed Fri 14-Sep-12 15:02:58

I think meatloaf was confusing love with sex

So he is saying that he will do anything for sex but it will only be with her

I find that Rita ora song a bit weird. She gets out of a bad relationship but goes back in because she's changed and is stronger. Doubt he's changed much though

fluffyraggies Fri 14-Sep-12 15:14:12

Who remembers:

No no,
No no no no,
No no no no,
No no
There's no lyricis!

2 Unlimited grin

blueraincoat Fri 14-Sep-12 15:15:16

I thought it was there's no limits...

fluffyraggies Fri 14-Sep-12 15:16:33

I knew that! grin

blueraincoat Fri 14-Sep-12 15:31:00

I think no lyrics is better though, more apt smile

DesperatelySeekingPomBears Fri 14-Sep-12 15:49:45

Little children
You better not tell on me
I'm tellin' you
Little children
You better not tell what you see
And if you're good I'll give you candy and a quarter
If you're quiet like you oughta be
And keep a secret with me

It was a much more innocent time when you could write an opening verse like that and not be arrested before the second verse could indicate you are in fact telling your girlfriend's young sibling not to spy on you.

Proudnscary Fri 14-Sep-12 15:50:25

Has anyone even gone there with Alanis Morrisette's dubious grasp of the concept of irony??

No, Alanis, rain on your wedding day is not ironic, nor is having dozens of spoons when you require a knife.

Only just found this wondrous thread. All this time I've been working and could have been posting shite lyrics on Mumsnet hmm.

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 16:12:31

I'm going to put in another vote for this thread to be in Classics.

Another shite lyric:
I said, excuse me you're a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly
- Nicki Minaj.

The pelican fly bit is really irritating, it might mean something to someone but I have no idea and I cringe every time I hear it.

picnicbasketcase Fri 14-Sep-12 16:16:22

A pelican fly is a zip with a massive beak

Psammead Fri 14-Sep-12 16:38:29

Goodbye Hollywood Hills I'm gonna
Miss you whereever I go I'm gonna
Come back and walk these streets again
Goodbye Hollywood Hills forever.

So, you are not in fact going to come back and walk these streets again? Or you are not going forever? Which is it, man? Seriously, you contradicted yourself from one line to the next. Not even one verse to the next. One line. Flakey, much?

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 16:40:52

Urban Dictionary says it means extremely high on cocaine/amphetamines/LSD to the point of losing it. confused. I am so un-street! blush

Oh, and Lemar -
If there's any justice in this world
I would be your man, you would be my girl'

Fucking sort your tenses out, you drippy little boy!

Thank fuck I wasn't the only child thinking of ringing childline on Lisa Stansfield.

"Shake it like a polaroid picture." Flap it around erratically?

EverybodysDoeEyed Fri 14-Sep-12 17:19:04

Can you blow my whistle baby
I'll show you how to do it and we'll start real slow
You just put your lips together and you come real close

Not sure who it is but just heard it on the radio! (I do like a song with whistling though)

If there is no innuendo I salute the guy for coming up with a song about such an innocent subject

FenLondon Fri 14-Sep-12 17:19:29

On the (maybe incorrect) assumption that the one thing a desert is not used to is rain:
" and I miss you; like the deserts miss the rain"

Surely , more like it rains, and the desert says " now THAT'S something to write home about", not "blimey, been a bit dry lately, where's me old mate the rain?"

EverybodysDoeEyed Fri 14-Sep-12 17:22:37

I'm not sure if I heard these lyrics right

I come from a land down under
Where women gurn and men chunder

stillorsparkling Fri 14-Sep-12 17:28:55

If she was a day tripper, why did she only have a one way ticket? Day return surely ????

thunderbird5 Fri 14-Sep-12 17:37:53

Ha ha.totally agree with the 'you're so vain' one and the 'pina colada' one!

what about pink floyds 'We don't need NO education.' erm...yes you do mate.

and the lyrics of 'lady in red' eurgh. not just the lyrics but the way he sings 'darnce (dance)' then 'rhymes' it with 'romunce' (romance) and then 'given haaghf a chaaance'(half a chance). I mean, whats THATabout????

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 14-Sep-12 18:00:42

Glad I'm not the only one who's pissed off about the fact that Jools drives his girlfriend to an incubator to give birth. I mean, is she some kind of exotic snake that needs tropical conditions in which to reproduce?

broodyandpoor Fri 14-Sep-12 18:08:31

There was this song that always came on, when I worked in Dorothy Perkins and the lyrics went,... 'Free to manipulate, when I stipulate, it's not my best day'
WTAF??!
One of the reasons that I left because this song was on loop for my whole shift.
I hate it when the rhyming is just there for the sake of it and doesn't make sense.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 14-Sep-12 18:32:43

lovelygoldboots isn't the Joni Mitchell lyric "it's Love's illusions I recall" - meaning she was wrong about love in her last relationship?

I quite like the "...not even a chair" one. And I am loving "isn't it a bummer?" as a rewrite for " Ironic"

Raspberry Beret - wouldn't she look like a bit odd wearing a wool-based hat if it was warm?

FreckledLeopard Fri 14-Sep-12 18:35:30

I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up, back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up confused

DD has been playing that bloody song for months now, meaning I now know the lyrics, but, despite googling them for interpretation, am still none the wiser;

Lovecat Fri 14-Sep-12 18:45:02

Joni was singing about love but comparing it to clouds and how they can look like stuff but are, basically, clouds and not 'ice cream castles in the air' - I love that song but since Love Actually I can't listen to it without crying for Emma Thompson <needs to get a grip>

I was in Frankie & Benny's the other day and heard this - both my friend and I actually stopped gabbing, looked at each other and went WTAF? (again, by Frank Sinatra - did that man ever NOT sing a creepy, misogynist song?)

"Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your make-up, soon he will open the door,
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger, you needn't try any more.

For wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment that he comes home to you.

I'm warning you,
Day after day, there are girls at the office and the men will always be men,
Don't stand him up, with your hair still in curlers, you may not see him again.

Wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.

He's almost here, hey, little girl, better wear something pretty,
Something you wear to go to the city,
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music, time to get ready for love."

shockangryshock

Hello, little school girl
Good mo'nin, little school girl
Can I go home with you?
Can I go home, later wit' you?
Now, you can tell yo' mother an' yo' father, um
That Sonny Boy's a little school boy, too

and.....

Now I got ten children of my own
I got another child on the way that makes eleven.
But I'm in constant heaven.
I know it's all right in my mind
'Cause I got a little schoolgirl and she's all mine
I can't get through to her 'cause it doesn't permit
But I'm gonna give her everything I've got to give.

great songs but.....

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 18:56:21

My mama told me, if I was goody, that she would buy me, a rubber dolly
My aunty told her, I kissed a soldier
Now she won't buy me a rubber dolly

My feeling is surely if you're old enough to be kissing soldiers, you won't be interested in a rubber dolly!? hmm

Ooh, and Grenade by Bruno Mars.

"I love you so much I self harm". Good message to send to your target audience.

I don't mean those are actually the lyrics, but that's certainly the interpretation.

trinitybleu Fri 14-Sep-12 19:09:14

Mandy2003 I was told pavements is slang for gay sex, so she actuall'y means "should I give up or do I just keep chasing arseholes"

Dunno if that's true tho!

Lueji Fri 14-Sep-12 19:19:58

Great thread.

This reminds me why I don't bother with lyrics and hardly memorise them.

At least the music usually makes sense. grin

goldmywrath Fri 14-Sep-12 19:32:15

In the dumps
With the mumps
As the adolescent pumps
His way in to a hat
Now That's what I call a lyric!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 19:37:55

Lueji - I find it more fun to supply my own lyrics.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland:

And at night, we'll perspire, as we scream by the fire..
We'll face unafraid the dog that we spayed, walking in a winter wonderland...

smile

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 19:39:11

Mandy - is that our cue for a Friday night bumsex mention?

JustSpiro Fri 14-Sep-12 19:50:50

Haven't read the whole thread yet but just seen the mention of Alanis Morrisette 'Ironic' on page three and been reminded of the epic mis-hearing of lyrics I suffered from with that song.

For years I wondered what a 'death row hard on' was?! confused blush grin

TiggyD Fri 14-Sep-12 20:20:49

Every Breath You Take - I remember seeing an interview with Sting who said it was a bit odd that people view it as a love song.

"I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right? " - Roy Orbison.

He asked permission to make love to her After he had done it. shock

ErrorError Fri 14-Sep-12 20:27:30

Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe.

1) I threw a wish in the well. [You don't throw wishes, you throw pennies and make the wish.]
2) Sounds like she says "it's hard to look right at YOUR baby". And now I can't think of this line any other way when I hear it.
3) Before you came into my life I missed you so bad. [How the feck can you miss someone before you know who they are!]

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Fri 14-Sep-12 20:43:34

I was just about to post Roy Orbison. DH knows that, if it ever comes on the radio, he must immediately turn over or I start ranting.

And that creepy as fuck Dr Hook one where, when she's had enough of the sex, he's going to do it a bit more. Just eeeeeew.

Lovecat - Me too. I have been known to come across that scene on the tv around christmas (when it is on constant bloody loop on itv2), sit and watch those five minutes and descend into a blubbering mess. Just the quiet desperation and dignity. Oh god, I may cry just thinking about it.

TyrannoWearsGoldKnickers Fri 14-Sep-12 20:44:33

Speaking of supplying one's own lyrics, DH always sings the following to Wuthering Heights:

Out in the wild and windy moors
Sweet Roland fell in brie
You had distemper like my jealous eel
Too hot, too greasy...

And now these are the only words I can hear angry

Yy Tiggy to having EBYT as 'our song' - people actually dance to that at weddings as their first dance. It's about creepy stalkering people, it's not a happy tune...

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Fri 14-Sep-12 20:45:58

Oh, China in your hand. What on earth is that about? I saw an interview with Carole Decker once and even she doesn't bloody know.

saltnpepashere Fri 14-Sep-12 20:48:22

Check this out from Maroon 5's 'Harder the Breathe'

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

hmm

nancy75 Fri 14-Sep-12 20:57:11

Mentioned already way up the thread, busted year 3000, he meets her great great great grand daughter. By my maths that is only about 6 generations in approx 1000 years, which means that every one of them would be well over 100 when they gave birth.

BestIsWest Fri 14-Sep-12 21:06:30

This always makes me rant - Hey Carrie Ann

When we were at school our games were simple
I played the janitor, you played the monitor
Then you played with older boys and prefects
What's the attraction in what they're doing

and followed by

You're so, so like a woman to me
Oh like a woman to me
So, so like a woman to me
Like a woman to me

FFS she's either a woman or she's not. If she's a woman then she's a woman not 'like a woman'. Unless she's too young to be a woman in which case the whole song is dubious. Or she's a man and nothing like a woman.

And the whole janitor and monitor bit is frankly a bit weird.

MajorMajor Fri 14-Sep-12 21:17:47

I have always been bothered by Summer Breeze by the Isley Brothers... I love the tune but the lyrics include classics like

When I come home from a hard days work
And you're waiting there, not a care in the world
See the smile a-waiting in the kitchen
Food cooking and the plates for two
Feel the arms that reach out to hold me
In the evening when the day is through

BigHairyFlowers Fri 14-Sep-12 21:17:57

A long time ago, one Christmas I was working in a shop playing endless Christmas songs over and over and over and over, including this:

They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day
I said they call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day, oh yeah
I make all the little girls happy
While the boys are out to play, alright
No, I ain't like Old Saint Nick
He don't come but once a year,
oh no, no I said I ain't like Old Saint Nick
He don't come but once a year,
oh no I come runnin' with all my presents
Every time you call me, dear
Well, I keep some change in my pocket
And chase the children at home
I give them a few pennies
So that we can be alone
I leave your back door open
So if anybody smells a mouse
It would not certainly a trouble
If there ain't no chimney in the house

Always made me a bit hmm - did no one actually listen to it before assuming it was a heartwarming little ditty about mistletoe and wine?

HOw's ab out this for vom-inducing awfulness? Every pregnant woman puking her stomach lining up and counting her piles must feel so romantic when she hears it...

nancy75 Fri 14-Sep-12 21:43:39

Blimey sgb, you are unreasonable posting a link to that! How do you find this crap?

PanofOlympus Fri 14-Sep-12 21:43:55

Thread's a bit like #popleveson:

'Touched for the very first time'. Really Ms Madonna? I have a room full of witnesses who would contest your evidence.

clam Fri 14-Sep-12 21:46:50

^"Tonight I don't feel like doing anything,
I just wanna lay in my bed."^

LIE, LIE, LIE, for fuck's sake, Bruno!

clam Fri 14-Sep-12 21:48:42

Or at the very least, why not stay in my bed?

Another stalker song, Enrique Iglesias:

'You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love'

Run! Now! He's scary!

thepeoplesprincess Fri 14-Sep-12 22:05:57

My top misheard lyric is;

"And you're too peeved to care for your under 5."

Very true, James Morrisson, very true.

LizzieVerekerGold Fri 14-Sep-12 22:24:24

Shakira: "she dances like a refugee from a third world country"

Really? How do they dance then? Does every refugee from every country dance the same way?

Shut up. Shakira! Shakira! And brush your hair.

MakeHayNotStraw Fri 14-Sep-12 22:24:25

Loving these! I forgot my absolute top dodgy-lyric song; Beautiful South (love their stuff though), the one that starts

"They say Always use a condom
I say always use a whip
Be careful where you come at night
Coz I shoot straight from the hip
When it comes to love's great foutain
I won't just take a sip
I'll swallow and I'll gulp
Till the fountain makes me sick.

Well it's me left with a baby and disease
You can't say you didn't want it, on your hands and on your knees
You made me feel so special
You were especially good
I'm sorry that you misunderstood"

It kind of gets worse, too....! I can't remember what it's called though.

And doesn't a Tom Jones song mention infra-red semen flying through the night?!

OTheHugeManatee Fri 14-Sep-12 22:42:47

Girl I'm gonna make you sweat, sweat till you can't take no more
And if you cry, I, I, I'm gonna push it some more.

angry Gross.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 14-Sep-12 22:52:57

MakeHay, it's called Mini-Correct.

schoolgovernor Fri 14-Sep-12 22:58:32

UNDER MY THUMB
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around

It's down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb

Ain't it the truth babe?

Under my thumb
The squirmin' dog who's just had her day
Under my thumb
A girl who has just changed her ways

It's down to me, yes it is
The way she does just what she's told
Down to me, the change has come
She's under my thumb
Ah, ah, say it's alright

Under my thumb
A siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb
She's the sweetest, hmmm, pet in the world

It's down to me
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Ah, take it easy babe
Yeah

It's down to me, oh yeah
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Yeah, it feels alright

Under my thumb
Her eyes are just kept to herself
Under my thumb, well I
I can still look at someone else

It's down to me, oh that's what I said
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me, the change has come,
She's under my thumb
Say, it's alright.

Say it's all...
Say it's all...

Take it easy babe
Take it easy babe
Feels alright
Take it, take it easy babe.

hmm

Beckamaw Fri 14-Sep-12 23:08:36

Yes.
The other day, my ten year old reeled off a corker:
'You and me and the goats in the back room'
Apparently a line from 'The Wanted' - Lightening. Hmmmm.

I also recall:
My lover's got no money, he's got his trampoline.
blush

candyflossisevil Fri 14-Sep-12 23:46:31

The minaj song.
Mack/Macking= shagging!
Coupes=cars
Deuces=money
Soooooo basically she's saying she's successful because she has lots of men, flash cars and money.
Im down with the kids me grin

simplesusan Fri 14-Sep-12 23:52:22

Squeeze - Up the junction

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter

I always thought it was:
I took her rather niffty
Down to a NAKED WAITER!!!!!

Doh!!

WetAugust Sat 15-Sep-12 00:00:42

Procol Harum - Whiter Shade of Pale

We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, 'There is no reason
and the truth is plain to see.'
But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be
one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
and although my eyes were open
they might have just as well've been closed

confused

Lovelygoldboots Sat 15-Sep-12 00:49:28

Thedoctrineofsnatch "Loves Illusions" and "Clouds illusions" are both in the song and "ice cream castles in the air" grin not wrong lyrics as such but genius of Joni Mitchell, it is a beautiful song and the lyrics are wonderfully whacky.

Anyone want to deconstruct American Pie? I used to know all of the references (it's about him being a teenager and hearing about Buddy Holly being killed, predominantly, but there's lots of other wanky sixth former allusions to musicians and stuff about the 1960s).

FutTheShuckUp Sat 15-Sep-12 01:54:42

I've just nearly woken my boy who snuck in the bed cause he had a headache due to laughter!!!
Rotterdam by the Beautiful South makes fuck all sense whatsoever- something about gargoyles dipped in Irish stout????

Lovecat Sat 15-Sep-12 01:58:46

Isn't it something about Bob Dylan as well, SGB? I vaguely seem to recall that he was the jester in the lyrics...

Yupyup, and the second half covers Altamont. The King is Elvis Presley...

bogeyface Sat 15-Sep-12 02:18:10

I know it has been mentioned but...

Dear Alanis

Rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you already paid, ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife, winning the lottery the day before you die, having a flying phobia and then dying on the day you take your first flight.

None of these are ironic.

They are what is known as "A right pisser"

Regards

Bogeyface

OneHandWavingFree Sat 15-Sep-12 02:58:41

Maybe Alanis is more clever than we give her credit for. How would you characterise the fact that she had a hit song about irony, in which she simply listed unfortunate events, none of which was actually an example of irony?

Isn't it ironic? Dontcha think? wink grin

Stephen 'Tin Tin' Duffy 'Kiss me with your mouth'....er as opposed to what Stephen?

treaclesoda Sat 15-Sep-12 05:04:30

I've always hated 'More than words' by Extreme. Can't understand why people think it'd a beautiful , touching song. Isn't it about emotionally blackmailing a girl into sex in order to prove that she loves him?

<shudders>

Emandlu Sat 15-Sep-12 06:40:42

There is also the Roxette song which goes

"Lay it down,
Pull my heart to the ground,
Time's getting cold,
Now the leaves all turn cold and blue"

Time's getting cold? confused and the leave all turn cold and blue - now apart from the fact that leaves don't turn blue brown would have actually been nearer a rhyme.

Emandlu Sat 15-Sep-12 06:42:54

Leaves not leave blush

And I completely agree with the Extreme song too. I've always hated it, even as a teenager! though I did like his hair blush

MakeHayNotStraw Sat 15-Sep-12 07:32:30

Thank you, doctrineofsnatch - it is indeed that one.

There' another one (Tattoo) with a lyric about someone getting her lover's name tattooed on her - spelt "you bastard".

Love the Beautiful South!

Threaders Sat 15-Sep-12 07:51:11

Surely the line "you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you" is a stroke of genius? The song IS about him, so he has every reason to be vain! I think it's brilliant.

I am, however, a bit confused by the line "you walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht" - is there a specific way of walking onto a yacht then??

JustSpiro Sat 15-Sep-12 08:46:08

You're So Vain is my parents 'song' confused...

Isn't it supposed to be about Warren Beatty?

EverybodysDoeEyed Sat 15-Sep-12 10:15:16

You walk onto a yacht with your sea legs

It's a great song but Elvis, I don't think satisfactioning is a word

RobinSparkles Sat 15-Sep-12 10:34:31

The James Blunt song:

"We're all alone now.
It's not me, it's not me
Those three wise men have got a semi
By the sea..."

Have they?!? confused

Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ

27 times in a row - and people used to think Morrissey was cool.
[shakes head]

Satine5 Sat 15-Sep-12 10:42:36

degutastic
That awful Bruno Mars Marry You song drives me insane when it's on the radio - "is it that look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice, who cares baby I think I want to marry you"

I thought it was dancing Jews blush

gymboywalton Sat 15-Sep-12 11:16:09

now if alanis morrisette had found out afterwards that a spoon would have done after all-That would be ironic!

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Sat 15-Sep-12 14:09:48

I think the line 'you're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you' is genius too. She gets to totally character assassinate him for the rest of the song, but if he complains then he must be vain. And what man wants to be vain?

I have always assumed you walk onto a yacht swaying slightly (from the movement) and oozing money!

The 'men are gargoyles' line in Rotterdam is one of the more comprehensible ones IMO - the men are ugly and drink too much!!

ALittleScatterOfRain Sat 15-Sep-12 14:56:24

Save All Your Kisses for Me is a dad to his daughter isn't it? It's one of those where you're supposed to think it's about something else until right at the end.

I hate Pixie Lott singing "Cry me out" as well. It's a slightly odd way to say it anyway, and when you insist on singing it so it sounds like "Cry meow" it makes no sense!

bogeyface Sat 15-Sep-12 15:11:37

I read an article about "You're so vain" and it is apparantly about men rather than one man and the point is that each of them are so vain that they will assume it is about them rather than anyone else.

I thought it was rather clever!

Wiki it and it mentions Mick Jagger and Nick Nolte amongst others (!), although I had heard the Warren Beatty one several times.

AmIthatbad Sat 15-Sep-12 15:40:10

I thought it was about Warren Beatty too.

and Satine5 that made me laugh - thinking about Blackadder 1

Has anyone mentioned Lemme Smell Yo' Dick yet? Truly romantic song <wipes tear from eye>

EverybodysDoeEyed Sat 15-Sep-12 17:13:41

How about

Who let te dogs out?

Isn't that about ugly women? Nice

TiggyD Sat 15-Sep-12 19:21:38

Forgot Motorhead:

"Sitting there in your hired tuxedo
You want to see my bacon torpedo?"

goldmywrath Sat 15-Sep-12 20:41:10

You can take an hour
on my tower of power
as long as i get a little golden shower
Frank Zappa (Sheik Yerbouti)

nancy75 Sat 15-Sep-12 21:28:52

50 cent, I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
I can't decide if this is one of the best or worst lyrics.
As for your so vain I also thought it was about Warren Beaty, doesn't Mick Jagger sing on it?

bogeyface Sat 15-Sep-12 21:46:13

As for me well, I'll find someone who's not going cheap in the sales
A nice little house wife who'll give me the steady life and not keep going off the rails.

Really Marc Almond? Marc Almond the gay singer? Really?

BigHairyFlowers Sat 15-Sep-12 21:54:45

Speaking of the Beautiful South, how about 'don't marry her, fuck me'

hmm

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 15-Sep-12 22:07:29

A PP's DH's take on Wuthering Heights had me in stitches! I am babysitting and I had to stifle my laugh for fear of waking the kids.

SO FUNNY!!!!

Yes, maybe "Save all your kisses for me" is not the horrendous song I thought it was.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 15-Sep-12 22:10:39

Can someone please explain the "My dad's called Dave" reference? It's lost on me...

Ah, that Wuthering Heights rewrite is not original to anyone's DH unless the DH is actually Phil Jupitus. As that was an extended routine on Never Mind The Buzzcocks a few years back.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 15-Sep-12 23:51:42

Robin is it a semi detached house or a mild feeling of arousal those three men are sharing, do you think?

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 16-Sep-12 00:39:27

Michael Jackson Billie Jean, she showed a photo of a baby crying, his eyes were like mine - most newborns cry with there eyes closed, and anyway, why would you only have a picture of the baby crying? I know it was the eighties, pre digital and camera phone era, but surely to get the 1 picture you'd have to get a whole film developed, from which, if you were trying to rench latent paternal attachment from a potentail dad, a picture of your baby grinning is surely going to do a better job than a crying shot (unless, ofcourse, it eas a poloroid, which brings up a whole new set of problems...) But anyway, who carries round a photo of their kid crying?

If Jezza Kyle had been around at the time he could have sorted this out with DNA tests.

Abba - dancing queen, young and sweet, only 17 -too young to get into most clubs then?

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 16-Sep-12 00:50:41

The M&S new ad has revived in my head Mark and Lards classic rewrite -

You went out and bought a Kitchen Devil for me
We took it on a picnic to Southend on Sea
Do you have to coat my testicals in dairylea?

ll31 Sun 16-Sep-12 00:56:33

Why must you tell me all your secrets
when it's hard enough to love you knowing nothing
I'm living four flights up but some times I swear it feels like underground

Was that Lloyd cole - brilliant?

Peeenut Sun 16-Sep-12 01:17:29

Oh Bruno Mars Songs piss me off, You're drunk, want soemthing dumb to do and you think you want to marry me, how sweet. This song must be played at all weddings for the next years.

The Beautiful South had some harsh lyrics hidden within some pretty tunes. That was their genius.

scattered Sun 16-Sep-12 08:39:02

The Beatles ' day in the life'
" I read the news today, oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert hall"

Well good for them!!

BigHairyFlowers Sun 16-Sep-12 21:41:10

Have we had Turning Japanese yet?

'I want a doctor to take a picture so I can look at you from inside as well'

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Sep-12 21:56:02

I'd rather jack than Fleetwood Mack

hmm ok then...

OwlLady Mon 17-Sep-12 11:35:37

'What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?'

a chimney?hmm

dysfunctionalme Mon 17-Sep-12 12:08:17

babybythesea they really really want to say that if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends..

Actually I thought that was one-a the more straightforward songs

JustSpiro For ages everyone thought it was about Warren Beatty but apparently no it was David Geffen, she was pissed he paid more attention to Joni Mitchell

JustSpiro Mon 17-Sep-12 12:39:26

'What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?'

Slang for a black eye iirc.

OwlLady Mon 17-Sep-12 12:42:31

I was being literal wink

festivalwidow Mon 17-Sep-12 12:50:24

Lovecat, in Frank Sinatra's defence 'Wives and Lovers' was a Burt Bacherach song - it sounds even more horrible when Dusty Springfield sings it.

50 Cent's In The Club: "so come give me a hug, you'll end up getting drunk.." Everything aside, 'hug', 'club' and 'drunk' don't rhyme.

ErrorError Mon 17-Sep-12 13:05:20

I thought the 50 cent one was "so come give me a hug if you into gettin rubbed." That's miles worse, ugh!! shock

beginnersluck Mon 17-Sep-12 14:48:07

Earth, Wind and Fire:

"would you mind if I made love to you 'til I'm satisfied?"

Surely should be 'til you're satisfied? hmm

Been wanting to get that off my chest for YEARS! smile

WidowWadman Mon 17-Sep-12 15:24:46

Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeene!

Please take the fucker and keep him for yourself, because I've got clearly more self-esteem than that.

Argh, I actually love the song, it's just so wrong.

Another one which really annoys me every time I hear it on the radio is "Let you go" by Chase and Status. You hardly can get any creepier.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 17-Sep-12 15:35:11

Love it WW!

ipswichwitch Mon 17-Sep-12 19:36:03

Arf at wuthering heights lyrics.
Am I the only one with a mental picture of Ro-land off grange hill face down in some cheese???

TyrannoWearsGoldKnickers Mon 17-Sep-12 20:33:08

Ah, that Wuthering Heights rewrite is not original to anyone's DH unless the DH is actually Phil Jupitus. As that was an extended routine on Never Mind The Buzzcocks a few years back.

shock shock shock The utter fucker! No, he is not Phil Jupitus. But he must owe him some royalties angry

I should learn. All of his hilarious lines during our courting stage turned out to be nabbed from Men Behaving Badly

catgirl1976 Mon 17-Sep-12 20:50:14

This is a mis-heard rather than a wong lyric, but for years I thought ub40 WERE singing:

"Wise men say
Only fools run in chains"

Which made sense although perhaps didn't require "wise man" status to realise.

DH tops me though.........the club classisc "I.........can't get enough, no, no, no, no, Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii can't get enough"?

He heard (and bounced round many a night club smiling and singing)

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii........can't get it up........no, no, no, no,"

Lovecat Mon 17-Sep-12 21:19:37

ll31, the whole of Lloyd Cole's Rattlesnakes album is genius imho smile

"She's got cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin
And she's sexually enlightened by Cosmopolitan"

"Her heart, her heart's like crazy paving
Upside down and back to front
She says ooh, it's so hard to love
when love was your great disappointment..."

"Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head.
Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be
bludgeoned in your bed"

"I grabbed you by the guilded beams
Uh, that's what tradition means
And I doused another venture
With a gesture
That was ... absolutely vile"

ll31 Tue 18-Sep-12 23:38:02

Lovecat,you're so right-amazing lyrics! !

ll31 Tue 18-Sep-12 23:40:19

Always thought his lyrics r so honest. ... so admitting that we all try and hope but deep down we know what reality is. ..

SmokyClav Thu 27-Sep-12 22:47:01

"Yeah I was walking my bag through a 20-storey non-stop snowstorm.
Pirelli Calendar girls wrestling in body lotion"

<cough>

But I do lurve Lloyd Cole... grin

Mind you, I've just heard a horror - Stooshe's 'Hoochie Mama'. Really spectacularly nasty song peddling all the most woman-hating myths about single mothers, and performed by a girl group whose selling point is that they are 'tough' and 'feisty'...

Smeghead Thu 27-Sep-12 23:32:11

SGB I hated their other song. Not sure what its called but "He's big and he's bad, I love him like mad, Momma he's the best I ever had, he's got a black heart"

Meaning, he beats the crap out of me but I love him so it's ok sad

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