AIBUs your Grandma might have written...

(193 Posts)
lakeofshiningwaters Wed 05-Sep-12 11:30:39

Not sure if this has been done before, but just thinking about a famous-in-our-family story when I was reading the baby names thread made me wonder what if mumsnet had been around when our grandparents were parents...

AIBU to be cross with my DH for giving ds2 a completely different name to the one we had chosen. I packed him off to register little one this morning calling baby Alan. He came home telling me 'This isn't Alan, I've picked a new name'. A name he'd found in a book someone left behind on the bus! Noone's going to be able to spell it either angry. Do I need some mumsnet perspective here, or AIB reasonable to want to string him up by his winkle tie?

PS Use of word winkle to stop Nana spinning in her grave. In RL she would've used a much much different one smile

KenLeeeeeee Wed 05-Sep-12 11:33:31

My nan would have had a similar AIBU re: baby names. She sent my Grandad off to register my mum's birth with their chosen name, and on the way he had an epiphany, picked an entirely different name that they'd never even discussed and came home all proud of himself for being so clever.

She would also have had many AIBUs about her neighbours and their caravan being parked in their drive which restricted her ability to curtain twitch and nose at everyone else in the street view.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Wed 05-Sep-12 11:36:21

My granny might have said AIBU to not scrub the front step or make DHs supper and packed lunch just because I gave birth to his sixth child last week?

Actually, she wouldn't have asked, she would have considered it unreasonable! She thinks we all have it far too easy nowadays!

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 05-Sep-12 11:38:51

One of my grans would have probably asked .... "AIBU to have waved DH off to work this morning and expect him not to join the army on the way home?" Despite being in an exempted occupation (miner), he did that in 1939, was posted to the Far East and they didn't see him again for six years.... confused

Lakesnana - YANBU!

After my DH's funeral, I went to stay with his parents rather than returning home alone. Somehow, I never seem to have returned home! Now I'm living with them and looking after them. They are pretty demanding. They aren't keen on me seeing my own family. AIBU to climb out of a window after they have gone to bed and drive 5 miles down the coast to have some livelier company at my sister's home?

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Wed 05-Sep-12 11:41:05

aibu to think that I should be able to vote at the same age as my brothers?

Ooh ooh ooh - I've got one from my great-grandma (who I never met, but this story is a legend in my family):

AIBU to make DS4 wear clothes with a girl's name embroidered on them?

During my last pregnancy I was convinced I was going to have a DD. (I have three DSs already so was looking forward to this.) So I made all the new baby-clothes in pretty girly colours and embroidered the name I was going to give my DD around the necklines.

Fast forward to the birth, and of course my DD is actually DS number 4. Unfortunately I only have girl clothes to dress him in and don't want to invest in a whole new wardrobe.

WIBU to dress my infant son in clothes with the name "Dorothy Grace"
prominently embroidered on the front? NB I made enough clothes to last him until he is at least two.

Thanks for your advice.

MardyBra Wed 05-Sep-12 11:43:20

It's not just AIBUs

Food: My rations are running low and I haven't got enough suet for a decent spotted dick. Any suggestions for pudding?

Style and Beauty: I heart American Tan tights.

Style and Beauty: They've got some lovely new winklepickers in Woollies.

MrsCarriePooter Wed 05-Sep-12 11:43:47

Granny: AIBU to dump DP and marry my cousin instead?

Grandma: AIBU to dump DP and marry my cousin instead?

Oh, Cogitosgran, I'm really torn on your one, I'm not surprised your grandchild is a bit confused!

MardyBra Wed 05-Sep-12 11:44:48

Books: Anyone read 50 Shades of Lady Chatterley yet?

TheCraicDealer Wed 05-Sep-12 11:44:49

“AIBU to think that my 7 year old DS should know better than to encourage his 6 year old brother to abseil down the side of our council house from a rope attached to the toilet’s u-bend?”

TunipTheVegemal Wed 05-Sep-12 11:45:01

AIBU to want my sister to give me back my baby who she adopted because I was unmarried and deserted by the father? I'm married now and my dh doesn't mind.

Poor Granny. sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 05-Sep-12 11:46:16

Follow-up AIBU.... "DH joined the army & we haven't seen or heard of him for a few years. AIBU to think that, when he gets home and finds out we have four kids instead of three, he's not going to take it very well?"

AbsofAwesomeness Wed 05-Sep-12 11:47:41

"AIBU to dress my DCs in their school uniforms when we are on vacation - it makes for much better photos"

"AIBU to drink the gin and tonic, even though the tonic is essentially fizzy gin, as I mixed up the water and gin bottles" <-- true story

Cogitosgran! shock YANBU to be concerned!

WIBU to give my daughter to my mum to be raised as my sister, a la Kat and Zoe in Eastenders, even though she will find out in the end and never speak to me again. Oh, I'm an adult btw, not a teenager!

manicbmc Wed 05-Sep-12 11:50:15

That happened in our family too, Tunip.

My gran's would have been: Am I unreasonable to expect a widows' pension after my dh was killed down the pit? And am I unreasonable to be well vexed that if he'd died 4 hours later I would be entitled to it.

Grandad died on 31st of December 1939. A few hours later and she would have been entitled to a widows' pension. She didn't get that until the 70s and so worked 3 jobs to keep her and my dad in food and clothes.

Psammead Wed 05-Sep-12 11:51:17

AIBU to drink bleach after finding out that my appendectomy turned into a hysterectomy? Everyone seems to think I am making such a fuss.

PedanticPanda Wed 05-Sep-12 11:52:30

AIBU to want to see my granddaughter? My only son died and dil has taken his dd away and refuses to let me see her because she doesn't like me.

TroublesomeEx Wed 05-Sep-12 11:52:34

My grandma's AIBU would have been:

My fiancee is away with the navy on a minesweeper. After all, it is WW2. AIBU to go dancing with the lovely navy boys who come to the Island (Isle of Man). We never do anything, but my friend (whose fiancee is also away with the war) and I often meet up with the young navy men and go dancing and then for a walk along the seafront in Douglas.

When I was a child my grandma used to tell us loads of stories about the war. And made it sound like a hoot!

MardyBra Wed 05-Sep-12 11:52:59

Telly Addicts: It's time for the Generation Game thread.

MardyBra Wed 05-Sep-12 11:54:14

Travel: Top tips for a daytrip to Margate please. Where is the best bingo?

My dads mum would probably have asked AIBU to go out in the snow looking for ds2s (my dad) false teeth that he lost when being sick in the street after too much beer

Katienana Wed 05-Sep-12 11:55:12

Aibu to think dh should have noticed registrar spelt ds first and surname wrong on birth certificate? This cannot be changed and ds goes by and will pass on a different name to the rest of the family!

MardyBra Wed 05-Sep-12 11:55:50

Christmas: DCs are bored with a satsuma and a piece of coal. Any stocking suggestions?

GummiberryJuice Wed 05-Sep-12 11:57:52

AIBU to leave my new baby swaddled with a bottle in his pram in the corner of the back garden while I go to shop

Apparently she did this all the time because it was a 10min walk up a steep hill with a big heavy silvercross pramhmm

No wonder my dads family have issues grin

fruitysummer Wed 05-Sep-12 11:58:55

Another one here who's Grandpa (and Uncle) changed the name of Baby without telling Granny on the way to register Baby. They were actually right to as it happens, my dad very much suits his name!

Also - AIBU to 'poison' my daughter with candied peel which she hates becuase she keeps helping herself to all the other dried fruits and nuts when she thinks i'm not looking?

Aibu to have not realised I was pregnant even after having 4 kids and therefore have to put the baby in a drawer as i've no room?

AIBU to absolutely detest anything Japanese after being a POW and refuse to speak to my Brother as he's bought a Datsun even though it's the only car he can afford for his family

Groovee Wed 05-Sep-12 11:59:11

AIBU about the fact my mother is toxic and spoils my brother who is 7 years older and makes me eat every last thing on my plate by reheating until I eat it all while he gets treated like a king and doesn't need to eat anything he hates?

AIBU to really wish pre-eclampsia hadn't caused me to never have another baby?

AIBU that I have to care for my incapacitied parents while my DB and SIL swan off living the life of Reilly?

AIBU to think SIL is shagging around behind my DB's back while he is at war?

AIBU that my SIL's are toxic and DH doesn't see it?

My Granny would say

"AIBU to deny my DH sex the day after I've given birth? I've had 7 babies in 8 years, have been constantly breast feeding in that time and vomited every day in each of my pregnancies. I just can't manage any more babies sad "

She ended up with 9 children, the last one had Down's syndrome and my grandfather was so disgusted he finally stopped pestering her for sex and when they did have sex he used the withdrawal method. He didnt want another 'mongol'. He was allegedly insatiable (and clearly a complete bastard).

We must never forget how far we women have come in just a few generations.

AbsofAwesomeness Wed 05-Sep-12 12:00:54

Telly Addicts (different Grandmother) "My DD is getting upset that I relate all life advice I give to her to stuff that happened in Loving. She's being unreasonable right?"

Startailoforangeandgold Wed 05-Sep-12 12:02:09

AIBU to make DH fry his smelly kippers in the garage?

(She really did make him use an electric ring on his work benchhmm)

sixlostmonkeys Wed 05-Sep-12 12:02:40

Aibu to think my dh should not be stepping out with the woman over the road while I'm in bed dying of the TB?

AbsofAwesomeness Wed 05-Sep-12 12:03:24

Great-Grandmother "AIBU to cut off all my daughter's hair before we go on the ship to move to a new country, as I can't be bothered with the upkeep, even though they'll get teased and called "boys" when they start at a new school?" - Grandma was traumatised by that

Thistledew Wed 05-Sep-12 12:11:02

AIBU to leave my two under 10 DDs at home alone at night when I go out to work a night shift? There are other adults sleeping next door in the nurses accommodation.

AIBU to tie my youngest DD's hands to the bed at night to stop her scratching her eczema?

(both mum's mum sad)

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Wed 05-Sep-12 12:13:18

My nan would have asked
'Am I being unreasonable to marry a young man I just met 3 week ago? Because I am going to in 3 weeks'
However it ended well and they were married 52 years until my lovely grandad passed away.
Their marriage was a happy one and they were truly in love.

Thistledew Wed 05-Sep-12 12:15:16

And on a lighter note, from dad's mum of her 4 DSs:

AIBU to look on fondly whilst my two older DSs use the youngest DS as a rugby ball to practice their passes? 18 month old youngest DS seems to enjoy it. grin

TunipTheVegemal Wed 05-Sep-12 12:15:47

AIBU to send my 3yo to school on the bus on his own every day? I need to go out to work because dh has died and the headmistress has said she'll take him early. The bus driver has promised to keep an eye on him and see he gets off at the right stop.

AllPastYears Wed 05-Sep-12 12:28:33

My grandma:

AIBU to refuse to babysit my grandchildren, and to make life hell for hired babysitters (I live at the same house). I don't believe parents should go gadding about when they've got small children.

AIBU to think that 8pm is time for people to be coming home not going out (gadding about...)?

AIBU to expect my grandchild to wear corsets?


Poledra Wed 05-Sep-12 12:36:47

Maternal grandma:

WIBU to make DP walk me home during the Clydebank Blitz? The air-raid wardens wanted us to go into a shelter but my DF would kill me if I missed my curfew. DP reckons we're lucky that the Germans didn't make good on DF's threat...

festivalwidow Wed 05-Sep-12 12:57:35

My favourite crooner is playing a local venue. I had a look at the ticket prices and they're awfully expensive for what they are (not even proper seats!). However, I've scouted out the building and I reckon if I brought a ladder I could sneak in through the toilet window and save myself a fortune. WIBU or is it too much of a risk? I'm not telling the DCs - it would play havoc with their nerves..

Punk rock, my gran grin

MrsKeithRichards Wed 05-Sep-12 13:04:14

Am I being unreasonable not to want my son to marry this divorcee who already has 2 children? There was a lot of actual pearl clutching going on.

SoleSource Wed 05-Sep-12 13:08:45

AIBU to object to my GD reading newspapers?

gordyslovesheep Wed 05-Sep-12 13:10:22

My nan would have done

AIBU to marry a man I have known for 3 weeks before he goes off to D Day?

AIBU to be cross that my DH checked through the window of our PFB's bedroom when I was leaving her to cry as you are supposed to. (Okay so her head WAS stuck between the cot bars)

AIBU to be upset that my DH is cross that I cleaned his pipe collection in hot soapy water - apparently his home grown 'tobacco' has nice resin which he was saving?

SmellsLikeTeenStrop Wed 05-Sep-12 13:14:46

AIBU to think that as I'm pregnant I'm entitled to extra milk rations? I think I am but the milkman says I'm not and is only giving me the usual allowance.

Poledra Wed 05-Sep-12 13:18:33

Paternal grandmother:

AIBU to insist that DS1 does not have to leave school at 14 if he doesn't want to? The school think he is doing very well and could even be university material! However, DH thinks that DS would be better off getting a job and bringing in some money. But nobody else in our family has ever been to university and I want to give DS every opportunity that we didn't have to better himself. We can manage it financially (just!) and there are bursaries to help.

<For the record, DGM won this one, and my dad did her proud, with a university degree and v. successful career>

WilsonFrickett Wed 05-Sep-12 13:25:44

We take our GDG everywhere with us, but she's a very poor traveller. My DIL says we should stop smoking in the Datsun, but I think she is just mollycoddling my grand-daughter and she usually stops vomiting by the time we've been in the car for 5 hours or so. Should I just tell my DIL that smoking never harmed anyone and to butt out? After all, we're providing free childcare. WWYD?

Namechangegalore Wed 05-Sep-12 13:27:39

This is one my maternal grandmother would have written:

AIBU to keep having babies at my age?

I'm in my mid 40's My eldest daughter is married and in her early 20's. DD says she's embarrassed of me getting pregnant the same time as her. She's given me 2 DGC, and I've given her 2 Dsiblings at same time (give or take a few months). I've got 10 kids all together...should I stop getting pregnant everytime DD is pregnant?

SoleSource Wed 05-Sep-12 13:28:02

Aibu to go on a date with a Black man in public, I love him,.he loves me, we want to be together forever.

CaseyShraeger Wed 05-Sep-12 13:42:34

Great-grandmother: AIBU to keep plugs in all the sockets in the house at all times to stop the electricity escaping?

Xiaoxiong Wed 05-Sep-12 13:50:19

Maternal GPs (in Teenagers):
We are on a lovely holiday to Spain as we love Franco and the food is great. We've decided not to tell our 5 teenage children that we are not going back to the US next week, and putting them in local schools. They speak no Spanish at all and have no idea what's coming. Can anyone see any problems with this? We think they will have a wonderful adventure and will be very grateful to never see their friends again, their friends are no fun anyway.

Maternal GPs (in Travel):
We are travelling around the Caribbean have booked a small double room in a beachfront hotel. Luckily there is a large fire escape in the back so the five children and dog can come up and sleep on the floor of the hotel room. This will save loads of money! Even more money saved when all seven of us sleep on the beach the next night.

Maternal GM (in Relationships):
I know that DH has been shagging the nurse at his GP practice so I divorced him 5 years ago. However I have decided that we are not really divorced so we have now bought a house together and set up a joint bank account, even though he has married another woman in the meantime. For some reason we are still arguing even though I make him dinner every night.

Paternal GM (in AIBU):
I have met a new man and have decided to move in with him in another city as that's what he wants and what my man wants, he gets. DS (16) is very upset and wants to stay in our old city and finish high school. I think he'll be very comfortable sleeping in his VW Bug every night in the church parking lot in the depths of a New England winter - he showers every day after basketball practice and gets hot meals at lunchtime. I can't understand why anyone would think IABU.

CaseyShraeger Wed 05-Sep-12 13:52:48

Great-grandmother (not sure if it was the same one, will need to check)

Politics >> OMG I just voted for the Communist party!!!

As you will all know, this being the 1950s or possibly 1960s, names of political parties are not printed on ballot papers so you have to know the name of the candidate you want to vote for.

Well, when I checked the list of candidates in the local paper the week of the election I saw that candidate A's party started "Co..." and naturally assumed that it was the Conservative party. It never occurred to me that the Communist party would be allowed to put up candidates.

Now I find I've made a bit of a cock-up and am getting no sympathy from my family who all think it's very funny. How will I ever show my face again down at the Conservative Club?

stargirl1701 Wed 05-Sep-12 13:53:42

AIBU to think my family is now finished? I've just given birth to my 15th child.

CaseyShraeger Wed 05-Sep-12 13:57:40

Grandmother (in Relationships):

I thought my DH was at work but when I came home early I found him hiding in the wardrobe instead. Apparently this has been going on for a while. WWYD?

SugarBatty Wed 05-Sep-12 14:04:29

nanny: aibu to send my 5 year old son alone to school on the bus when the stop is a mile from my house?

No wonder my lovely dad gave us lifts everywhere when we were growing up!

minceorotherwise Wed 05-Sep-12 14:11:19

AIBU to drink, smoke and gamble simultaneously?
She was a game old bird

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Wed 05-Sep-12 14:22:19

My paternal grandmother might ask: "AIBU to think the War office shouldn't have conscripted most of my staff and made them into land girls?" Apparently, being left with nothing but a cook and a housemaid was a huge trauma for her - I'm sure all those people who were bombed out must have really, really sympathised hmm

My maternal grandmother would have asked; "AIBU to think the army might let my fiancé come on on leave occasionally, I miss him terribly." He was sent overseas in January 1940 and didn't come back to Britain until August 1945.

Noqontrol Wed 05-Sep-12 14:39:55

What should I do? I am married and have 2 sons. I had an affair and got pg with a baby girl. My husband says I can go back to him as long as I get the girl adopted. I have always wanted a baby girl, but have no money to live on, and no prospects of getting any. WIBU to get my baby girl adopted and go back to my husband?

kim147 Wed 05-Sep-12 14:50:16

AIBU to send my DS twins (7) to boarding school because DH wants them to go because it will be good for them.

AIBU to let my children drink milk straight from the cow?

Bluegingham Wed 05-Sep-12 14:54:16

AIBU to crack on I've just had a baby at 52, then change the census return next time to make me 10 years younger, and send my 18 year old daughter who is the actual mother of this baby, out to service?

(my great gran - the baby was my grandad, who had no idea that his doting older sis was actually his mum!)

Bluegingham Wed 05-Sep-12 14:57:02

AIBU to be mildly alarmed that my husband has just knocked out a horse with a single punch?
(Grandad was a boxer, and a nutcase, and someone owed him money. He thumped the horse and said "you next."shock)

Story I've recently found out about my granny:
AIBU to say to the snooty woman trying to get me to take on evacuees, that I actually have no room left in the house as I have three boys of my own and my brother-in-laws son, as bil is in a POW camp in Japan Sil died when the boy was small and he has no other family?



'I am really worried, ds2 may actually be my bils. We had an affair, that no-one will find out about until I'm dead and I think ds looks a lot more like bil. It's even more complicated because dh is my cousin and we were warned not to marry'

Bluegingham Wed 05-Sep-12 15:02:31

AIBU to elope with a lunatic bare-knuckle boxer? I've got 9 younger siblings whom I care for as my dad is dead and my mum goes put to work. We will elope 300 miles, and I have to gets tried as I'm in the family way.

CaseyShraeger Wed 05-Sep-12 15:13:17

Noqontrol - what did she do?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 05-Sep-12 15:14:17

"I'd like to have a telephone installed in the house but DH thinks it's a security risk because burglars will see it through the window, then ring up and check we're not in before ransacking the place. AIBU or is he?"

(They eventually got one but compromised, never used it & kept it hidden in a cupboard)

furrygoldone Wed 05-Sep-12 15:19:21

GGM: my husband recently died at sea, WIBU to marry his identical twin brother?

GM: AIBU to evacuate my DS1 & DS2 to England to escape the German occupation, what if it is years until I see them again sad

WopBopALooBop Wed 05-Sep-12 15:28:47

My grandpa did the same re. the name thing, couldn't remember the name they'd decided on so chose a different one! Perhaps it's just an old wives tale thing that everyone thinks happened to their family decades ago!

AIBU to take my four children to live with a notorious gangster, who i am only interested in because, being a woman i cannot get a mortgage and i plan to buy a lovely big building and run an illegal gambling opperation from the basement?

My other choice is to move to London, where i've met a lovely Italian from a very close large family, they seem to be keeping secrets, but i've met two of his friends, twins called Ronnie amd Reggie and they seem nice?

AIBU to have met up with my DH in Antwerp, just to dump him, because i've met a handsome ship's Captain. He does dress me in furs whilst his children and wife do without, but i will try to help them.

AIBU to allow my adopted DD to leave right now for Australia because her DP will be wanted for murder by the morning, as his twin brother has also just died, so can use his passport.

TunipTheVegemal Wed 05-Sep-12 15:34:15

My mother has a house full of stray cats. This morning I got a taxi with ds1 to take some of the sickest ones to the vet to be put down, but the vet was closed so we came home again. Now ds1 has told DM that this morning we went for a drive in a motor car with a gentleman and some of the cats. AIBU to pretend I don't know what he is talking about, even though DM now thinks he is telling a fib?

WopBopALooBop Wed 05-Sep-12 15:43:19

Some of these stories are amazing!

ArtVandelay Wed 05-Sep-12 15:48:17

My Gran:

I got a letter from my family, this morning, demanding that I up sticks from Birmingham and go back to their dreadful smallholding in the rural North-East. Usual nonsense, we miss you, air raids are threatened, blah blah blah. I'm having such a wonderful time here, I have a lovely job and go dancing or to the pictures almost every night, and I don't have to share a bed with my 3 sisters (horrid!). AIBU to ignore them and stay here? Its so dull up there!

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Wed 05-Sep-12 15:48:54

"Cogito" Your grandparents sound like mine grin I lived with them, but I was about four before I knew we had a phone. It lived in a cupboard and nobody ever used it.

AIBU to perm my dd (age 6) hair? I always wanted a curly haired daughter, and my DD has straight hair angry

(and she did until my Mum was 12!)

kim147 Wed 05-Sep-12 16:02:35

I do have a lot of respect for that generation who went throught the war years. Was explaining to DS about rationing (when he was hungry for a snack again). Husband away or dead, not a well developed welfare state, a sexist culture and little of the labour saving devices we have nowadays.

The world was a very different place back then.

Lavenderhoney Wed 05-Sep-12 16:07:36

Aibu to get my dd aged 6 months adopted? I have no money and no one will speak to me. I even had her listed as unknown baby girl at the hospital but it's impossible now with the war and all.

Poor old mum never stopped feeling abandoned her whole life and convinced herself that she must be a child of rape or incest for someone to abandon their baby as she could never do that. However she also told me that she saw me as a baby abandoned outside a supermarket so took me. Think she took avoiding where to babies come from in a big waysmile

Fuchzia Wed 05-Sep-12 16:16:02

Maternal GM: Aibu to think the woman next door might be secretly working! she leaves every morning with her shopping bags, but I know her husband drinks and doesn't give her any money. Disappointed because I though this was a naice area and naice women don't work..

Paternal GM: Aibu to think that I should not be expected to deliver a baby when in labour myself? I know there's and air raid on and I'm a nurse, but still.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Wed 05-Sep-12 16:19:44

paternal GM,
AIBU to let my 10 year old boys ride around the field behind the the digger that has been left there by the builders, they are having such fun, I have taken a picture from our window but don't want to disturb their game.

(DH watched where the foreman had hidden the crank handle and went out to play after they all went home!!!)

Bellyjaby Wed 05-Sep-12 16:21:41

Not one from my Granny, but a Great Aunt:

AIBU to have a go at all these youngsters having kids out of wedlock when my own DD has no clue who her father is as I hooked up with a random POW?

Noqontrol Wed 05-Sep-12 16:24:14

She had the baby adopted casey One of the doctors who delivered the baby adopted her, as he and his wife couldn't have children. She died recently aged about 90, and never saw her baby again since that day.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 05-Sep-12 16:41:56

AIBU to disagree with my husband when he suggests that it would be "nice" to move OW in with us and our children?

Naoko Wed 05-Sep-12 17:13:43

From my grandmother (alive and kicking today, age 86): "AIBU to tell my DD that she can go to university if she wants to, even though we're only dairy farmers, DH and I only had primary school ourselves, it'll be a financial struggle and we live in the kind of village where the only girls who even go to academic secondary schooling, never mind uni, are the daughters of the doctor, the vicar and the lawyer? I also have 3 DS, it'd be socially odd for us to send them but it'd be outrageous to send DD. She is so smart though, she works really hard and she loves learning; none of the boys will even want to go. DH agrees with me and says we'll make the money work somehow, but we had so many comments in the village when she went to secondary, people say it's pointless to educate a girl because she'll just go off and marry. "

(No, granny, you weren't unreasonable, and I love you and your progressive attitude. Mum didn't go in the end because she didn't want to put the financial burden on them, but she could have - and did something even more socially outrageous in moving 3 hours away, age 17, to work a secretarial training contract with a multinational company).

From the same grandparents: "Are DH and I BU to have helped the Australian airman whose plane was shot down by the Germans over our farm? We weren't able to hide him so they did take him away, but we got him out of his parachute and made sure he was ok. We might get in trouble with the Germans, some of DH's cousins are in the resistance and have been taken away by soldiers, but the Australians are trying to liberate our country and it's not right to just leave him."

(The airman in question survived the war, is still alive and fast approaching his hundreth birthday. He still writes to them.)

TunipTheVegemal Wed 05-Sep-12 17:17:30

AIBU to not want my beloved ds1 to marry the woman who he got pregnant? She has shown she's no better than he ought to be by the fact that she allowed him to get her pregnant when they aren't married yet. So she's clearly not good enough for my wonderful son.

TunipTheVegemal Wed 05-Sep-12 17:18:54

I know there's a war on but AIBU to want to leave my job at the munitions factory because the other girls there are a bit rough and some of them even swear?

Someone my nana and grandad were at school with, AIBU to take the very expensive watch my dad has bought me on the condition I don't marry the girl I've got pregnant?

He took the watch

McHappyPants2012 Wed 05-Sep-12 17:25:43

AIBU to want some support:-

i am a mum of 3 disabled boys who are terminally ill and i am struggling to do this all by myself. My husband has to work very long hours to make ends meet on top of this i have 3 DD.

AIBU to resent Hitler for forcing my DH to work overseas in very unsanitary conditions, while I stay at home with my 5 young children (one of my DD's is blind) and have to work in a munitions factory part time to make ends meet?

Caerlaverock Wed 05-Sep-12 17:30:24

I have consumption which Swiss sanatorium has the hottest doctors?

I have rented a large house for myself and four children, after being abandoned by my DH.

I am trying to run it as a boarding house (without the landlord's permission), but it is very hard work, that and looking after my disabled parents.

I have noticed that the 'working girls' are suffering at the hands of the punters and the conditions that they have to 'work' in and when recovering from having their 'stomach's cleared'.

WIBU to have an 'arrangement' with them, which would include me looking after them when they 'need to rest', which would benefit us all?

Bellyjaby Wed 05-Sep-12 17:31:55

GM1: AIBU to keep rubbing my sister's nose in the fact that she only had a girl whereas I had a boy (especially considering I'm the least maternal person ever)

GM2: AIBU to not remember my children's actual birthdays or names. DS1 and DD1 seem to think, as they're the two eldest, I should at least be able to remember one of them properly.

re GM2 comment, my poor mum grew up thinking she had a completely different middle name and birth date to reality. She only found out when she required a birth certificate for something at 18 years old. And when I say different birthday, Mum grew up thinking her birthday was in October when in fact it was early September.

Euphemia Wed 05-Sep-12 17:41:33

AIBU To think that before they took my newborn away from me into quarantine for several days owing to the smallpox epidemic, the doctors could have told me whether I had a boy or a girl? (Paternal GM)

AIBU To be stunned that my baby came out between my legs, rather than through my belly button as I had understood would happen? (Maternal GM.)

AIBU to tell DH has gone too far this time?
He Is very obsessed with his hair, constantly worried about it falling out and him going bald, he has tried every hair tonic on the market to ensure that he does not lose any.
Last night we were watching the news and there was an item about some people who work with chickens, it appears that these workers where growing excess hair on there hands, they attributed this hair growth to the chicken shit.
DH purchased some fresh shit this morning and is now sleeping in our marital bed wearing a bag on his head to stop any of the shit that he has spread thickly on his hair, staining my pillow cases.
Whilst I appreciate the thought regarding my pillows, AIBU in thinking that chicken shit is a step too far?

AnitaBlake Wed 05-Sep-12 17:57:05

AIBU to change my sons name about a year after he was born, send him to live with his GPs and let him think they are his parents while I start a new family and call one of my sons the name I changed DSs to? (maternal ggm)

AIBU to run home to show my mum the click I won her at the dance hall despite the air raid siren sounding and me being told to stay whew I was if it dud? (turned out the hall was bombed, so that was a no).

maristella Wed 05-Sep-12 18:41:54

PGM: AIBU to want to sleep in DH's bed tonight?

(Pregnancy) How will my belly button stretch to let my baby out?

MGM: AIBU to wish I could go to university?

eagerbeagle Wed 05-Sep-12 18:56:33

My great grandma. AIBU to have my illigitimate DD adopted by my auntie and never tell any of the 9 children I will later have about it so they can find out after I'm dead. My boyfriend got himself killed in the war so can't marry him.


Theas18 Wed 05-Sep-12 19:10:25

Aibu to not want to help with any of my twin sisters when my mother let my dearest darling baby Charles die? (PGM born I'm 1899, had 2 sets of much younger twin sisters all of whom thrived, but little Charlie, the much wanted boy died).

The really sad one....maternal GGM.

In mental health..
So down...the babies hate me, I think the new one is the worst. She won't feed from me, but will take that national formula frommy sister.I think I'm poisoning her...their lives would be better without the way I am killing their souls. There I'd only one way out.

She drowned herself in the canal, due to postnatal depression when the baby was less than 6 months old.....

And the funny....paternal GM

AIBU to refuse to attend my elder sons wedding to that trollop who says she's going to keep teaching when they marry. It won't last above 6 months.
(they married in 1951 mum worked all her life, often supporting dad through career changes, and are still together! )

GhostShip Wed 05-Sep-12 19:13:24

AIBU to think my feet, even at 83 are utterly gorgeous?

^ she always thought this. I never understood why because feet are feet. But after working in a care home, I understand she had amazing feet for her age!

GhostShip Wed 05-Sep-12 19:15:06

That was my great nan.

My grandmas would be 'I am unreasonable for first giving my son up for adoption, then having two girls and never telling them. Then leaving them in the care of their father who I know is a perve. Oh and I'm also an alcoholic'

Spottyblancmange Wed 05-Sep-12 19:19:04

This is a bit more light-hearted than many on the thread, but my grandmothers would have been "Am I being unreasonable to eat this entire box of jelly babies despite being diabetic and supposedly on a strict low sugar diet? Also, am I being unreasonable to think that seeing as the Dr told me I can have one sugar in my tea, it's okay to put a tablespoonful in instead of a teaspoon?"

ComradeJing Wed 05-Sep-12 19:36:54

MGF - Aibu to leave south Africa and the wonderful life we have here (servants, large house, lots of money) to go to live in a shitbox flat in the uk because apartheid is utterly wrong?

Aibu to refuse to talk to my daughter for 6 months because she doesn't want to study chemistry at Uni?

MGM - Aibu to not want to follow Dh to the uk as he is an alcoholic and financially abusive arse even if his principles are spot on?

Dh mother - Aibu to tie ds to a tree in the garden so I can get on with my chores? Aibu to make Ds do three hours work on the farm in bare feet every day? We can't afford shoes.

LackingNameChangeInspiration Wed 05-Sep-12 19:40:48

AIBU to secretly tell DD2 that she and her fiance are not welcome at DD1s wedding even though DD1 was desperately hurt that she was not there? He's just a policeman you see, so it probably won't last and this way we wont have to explain him to our friends, DD1 is marrying a proper professional

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour Wed 05-Sep-12 19:42:54

Paternal grandma:- AIBU to pop my newborn premmie twins in the oven to keep them warm? I've switched it off first and I don't want to lose anymore babies ( it worked grin )

Maternal grandma:- AIBU to have several abortions because I already have a boy and a girl and I just can't bear to see my beautiful home and white carpets get even more messed up ( she did and she stills thinks it's a funny story hmm )

popsypie Wed 05-Sep-12 19:56:04

AIBU to perm my two year old dd's hair cos I was always wanted a curly haired girl and was very disappointed with her straight hair?

VodkaJelly Wed 05-Sep-12 20:02:18

From my Paternal Gran - WWYD? My brother married a local woman and I married her brother, I have got 4 children and my poor brother and sister - in - law cannot have kids and on at me to adopt my pfb.

I am now pregnant and have promised this baby to them, my mil says I am mad but i have promised them now.

My Gran did indeed give the baby to her brother and sil. Her MIL treated this baby like the golden child and my dad and his siblings like street urchins.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Wed 05-Sep-12 20:04:09

Maternal Grandmother

WIBU to ask DH to get rid of his aviary, as it affects my breathing? [She died at 48 following years of asthma and chest problems)

AIBU to be bloody furious at DD2 for getting pregnant at 17!

Paternal Grandmother

AIBU to be sad that DH has gone to fight in Palestine, even though DS1 is only a toddler and he has already been away for years fighting in Burma?

AIBU to want to know what herbal cigarettes DS1 and his hippy friends are smoking in his bedroom?

CaseyShraeger Wed 05-Sep-12 20:13:50

Bellyjaby, that happened to my paternal grandfather. His mother, my GGM, died when he was young leaving three small children and my GGF couldn't remember their names or birthdays so made them up as he went along. It wasn't until after my grandfather died that anyone realised that his "first" name was actually his middle name, he had a completely different legal first name and his "middle" name appeared to be a complete figment of my GGF's imagination, as did his date of birth. I guess my GGF just wasn't a details sort of guy...

PurplePidjin Wed 05-Sep-12 20:22:39

PGM: I'm 21. My Mum died, and my Dad's new wife is a complete bitch - she's already packed my annoying kid sister off to boarding school. AIBU to piss off to the big city and get a career?

One 50 year rift with said sister and 40 years of primary teaching (including some hair raising tales of SN provision in the 60s) and she's still going strong at 91 shock

MGM: AIBU to be slightly relieved my misogynistic and controlling H has died? Now i can finally, at the age of 64, have friends and travel the world

She bloody did as well, up until her death at 80. Rock on, Nana grin

OrangeKipper Wed 05-Sep-12 20:23:38

My friend's GPs:

We've managed to get DS a place on the Kindertransport. AIBU to lie and tell him we'll follow shortly when his mother's health is better?


Mama1980 Wed 05-Sep-12 20:30:13

My nan might have said: Aibu to keep him waiting at the church for 3 hours? Something of a family legend grandparents had a huge row about nothing (they both had tempers grin) on the eve of their wedding grandad threatened not to show nan made him wait at the church for 3 hours, no phones this was the 1940 s, half the guests left... She rolled in 3 hours late my Grandad had had to beg the vicar to stay and was a wreck grin grandad always said she was worth it though smile

OrangeKipper Wed 05-Sep-12 20:31:01

My GPs:

AIBU to be very disappointed in DS for dropping out of law at uni and going to college to learn electronics. He keeps talking about these new machines they have called computers, but I can't see them ever catching on.

thingamajig Wed 05-Sep-12 20:43:47

My maternal GM: I know those poor evacuees need to get out of London, but suddenly I have three boys from the slums in my tiny cottage. They have impetigo and lice and wet the bed, and I am worried about my PFB. Not to mention all the boil washing of sheets and towels by hand.

ValiumQueen Wed 05-Sep-12 20:47:37

Paternal Grandmother:

I have just had triplets, two girls and a boy. The midwife told me to just let the little boy die as he is so very small, and concentrate on feeding the other two. AIBU to not want to do that, even though I already have two boys?

The little boy is my dad, and is going to be 80 next year. She gave him extra feeds. He has always been a weedy thing, but has done pretty well! I miss my Grandmother x

QueenofJacksDreams Wed 05-Sep-12 20:47:59

MGM - WIBU to be so fuming at DD2 for getting pregnant at 15 I told her she had to give the baby up for adoption then changing my mind when I saw the baby?

AIBU to drive so fast down country lanes that one womans false teeth flew out and hit the windscreen when we went over a bump? They've taken to calling me mad max now!

neuroticmumof3 Wed 05-Sep-12 21:12:43

These are amazing, some are laugh out loud funny, some make your heart break.

ontheedgeofwhatever Wed 05-Sep-12 21:16:04

AIBU to expect my dh to have the common sense not to use the clothes pegs as fire kindling when we've just had a new baby - how am I supposed to hang up the nappies?

ontheedgeofwhatever Wed 05-Sep-12 21:20:44

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour - my nan used to put premature lambs in the bottom oven with the door open which i suppose was the same idea.

VoldemortsNipple Wed 05-Sep-12 21:29:08

Aibu to not want to put my cousin and her husband up in my front palour when we have a tiny two up two down and 4 dcs.

Also Aibu to begrudge being told that I owe it to my cousin to put her up in my front palour because her father put me up for a few weeks when I became ophaned aged 8, before dumping me in an ophanage.

Lolwhut Wed 05-Sep-12 21:45:32

Paternal Grandfather

AIBU to resent being sent to boarding school from age 5 and to only go home for a couple of weeks at Christmas. Easter and summer hols are spent at school. Matron is nice but it feels like my parents don't want me.

Paternal Grandfather. Relationships/AIBU to say to my family I will wait for the girl I love until I'm 30 because DM/DF said if I still love her then they'll agree to my marrying the girl.

Paternal Grandmother. AIBU to think my MIL is going to be a nightmare? I can't help being illegitimate and in love with their son.

Paternal GGM - Let's raise eldest daughterss baby as her youngest sibling instead of turfing them out.

Lolwhut Wed 05-Sep-12 21:50:15

What a great thread, so funny and so sad.

thanks lakeofshiningwaters

Tigerbomb Wed 05-Sep-12 22:47:01

AIBU to agree to marry my GI boyfriend now that I am pregnant, even though my DH is in Burma fighting the Japanese.

AIBU to just present my six month daughter to my DH when he comes home from the war after 3 years, now that my American GI fiancee is dead

NamesKerry Wed 05-Sep-12 23:21:48

True story. Not my GM, but a friend:
AIBU to be majorly pissed off that my DH came back from the registry office and proudly declared that our DS would forever more be known as Rocky Craig Ali. (They both agreed on Craig beforehand)

Shagmundfreud Wed 05-Sep-12 23:31:32

Paternal GM: AIBU to unscrew the lightbulbs to stop my ds's reading at night? My older sons all went off to work in the car plant as teenagers.. Can't see why it's not good enough for the other three who are wasting time and money going to night school and then jacking up my leccy bill by reading all night.

(note: 3 youngest ended up as an engineer, a diplomat and a nuclear physicist. Older three stayed in manual work).

lovesmellingthecoffee Wed 05-Sep-12 23:41:49

Paternal GM posting in Homes and Gardens,
We have just had electricity installed in our house and the DC's keep switching the lights on and off for fun, I keep telling them that this will wear the electricity out and make it tired, but they just carry on. What do i do.

bionicmummy Wed 05-Sep-12 23:42:44

maternal GM:

AIBU to lie to the Gestapo about my employer badmouthing der Fuhrer? It would mean a lesser punishment and I'm prepared to look after her children and her husband whilst she's in jail, even though I'm only 15.

Paternal GM:

AIBU to have left school at 8 years old to look after my drunk father and two younger brothers because my pregnant mother jumped off a bridge?

AIBU to fall pregnant at 13 and give that baby and another up for adoption and not tell any future children I may have?

AIBU to never show affection to my other children? I do feed and clothe them and I married my BIL after my DH died so they do have some sort of father figure mug to do all the childcare and run around after me.

AIBU to refuse to ever speak again to my eldest son who emigrated? And to throw out his 16 year old brother who saw him off onto the plane?

AIBU to wonder why only one child now speaks to me?

Jenstar21 Wed 05-Sep-12 23:53:07

PaternalGM - WIBU to tell my husband my 2 month old baby is a miracle, as he's been away at sea for 15 months?
(She tried it, but funnily enough, he divorced her.)

Also - WIBU to not see my 3 children for 5 years even though they are only 11, 8 & 6, because my mother doesn't like the man I'm pregnant to, and won't let me take them with me?
(She ran off to Canada, and had 4 more children by 2 more men. Means my Dad is one of 7, with 5 different fathers. I think she was a desperately unhappy woman, searching for love and approval.)

MaternalGM - AIBU to tell my husband no more babies? I've had6 in 8 years and am worn out?!
(She had a miscarriage which resulted in a hysterectomy because of a nasty haemmorage, and sadly died 3 years later, when my mum was 8.)

missingmumxox Thu 06-Sep-12 00:28:12

MGGM, Should I be miffed that looking at my wedding photo with the wedding party I notice my new DH his holding hands with me?

Whoops sorry, holding hands with me and my chief Bridesmaid!!!

MGGF married said Bridesmaid after my MGGM death some 40 odd years later.

MGGGF am I being unreasonable to be shouting Hail Hitler in the street? I love my fatherland and I do think he is our Savior, Also I think the RAF are BVUR bombing Germany, if they hadn't the Luftwaffe would not have had to retaliate, which resulted in the bombing of my home and the death of my wife.

MGGGF would it be UR to send my GS into my unstable bombed to home to retrieve my gold sovereigns from under the floorboards?

MGF I have decided to get married but not to my GF of 3 years, hints have been made by both families that it is becoming indecent the amount of time we have been courting, so I have studied my options and decided my secretary is more wifely material, after all she does what I ask, anyway my UR dumping my GF by arranging to meet my GF and the cinema and sending my best friend instead, then when they watch the film together I will accuse her of having an affair and finishing with her, thus ruining her reputation!

not a nice family DM was from, she was a star as was GM.

IneedAgoldenNickname Thu 06-Sep-12 00:57:09

My nannies would be, aibu to have wanted my husband there the birth?

I recently gave birth to my 3rd child, at home in the front bedroom. Me and him both wanted him to be in the room but the Midwife said it wasn't proper for men to be there. I told the silly bitch that as he'd got me pregnant 3 times, it's not like he's never seen me naked! She still refused to let him in angry

Then a few years later, she'd have done: aibu to think that actually this is a name!

Recently gave birth to DC5, and wanted to register her name as Jo. Stupid woman aid she couldn't be Jo on her birth certificate as it's not a 'real' name, only a diminutive! Made us register her as Joanne, even though we don't like that name sad

(note, My auntie is not really called Jo/Joanne, thought I'd better change it just in case) k

Incidentally, my Nannie I'd allays moaning about the 'made up names' people use these days. She thinks we should all just use 'proper' names (like Joanne maybe) grin

stubbornstains Thu 06-Sep-12 01:24:13

Well I know everything to do with the house is women's work, but when I've got the flu and hubby offers to make me a cup of cocoa for the first time since we've been married, AIBU to expect a nice cup of cocoa instead of.....bloomin' gravy browning?

akaemmafrost Thu 06-Sep-12 01:59:44

AIBU NOT to divorce my DH? I am a staunch catholic and I know he has another woman and children in the same small town we live in. He spends half his time with her and half with us. I often leave my five children alone at night to go looking for him.

He divorced her in the end but she considered herself his wife till the day she died sad.

PurplePidjin Thu 06-Sep-12 07:22:04

Current one from my Gran...

AIBU to be glad my DGD and her partner are going to call my DGGS a sensible name? I can't abide these fancy modern names, like Darren!

We struggled to keep straight faces when she came out with that one hmm

AIBU to wish my DGD would cook her husband a decent meal every night? I mean, he works hard every day and she just flits around an office all day. I think he should not have to come home, see to the children, the housework and the dinner. Why can't she be a proper wife!

And yes, my man said that to me. Yesterday.

*nan, even.

Brightspark1 Thu 06-Sep-12 07:55:55

'AIBU to expect DH to come and bail me out after I got arrested yesterday instead of leaving me in a police cell overnight?'
GGM was a suffragette and got arrested for breach of the peace grin

Bellyjaby Thu 06-Sep-12 08:57:04

AIBU to ask DH and neighbours not to let the nuns know when I'm in labour? The midwives are happy for me to have some form of pain relief but those bitches keep telling me I'm not alone and must atone for my sins.

Lavenderhoney Thu 06-Sep-12 09:19:24

Pgm -Aibu to refuse to allow my new dil into my kitchen when I am in it? I know she has a newborn and thy have to sleep in the lounge. It's also a problem that to use the loo she has to go through the kitchen to get outside. Can I ask her to wait until I am finished? My son married her and she was in an orphanage and she is illegitimate. Disgusting.
Also, one of my dds is prg by a gi - he keeps coming round and shouting up at the window he loves her, but i threw a bucket of boiling water over him, so hopefully he will push off back to America now. ( he did) cant have my dd marrying some foreigner...

mardyelsie Thu 06-Sep-12 10:11:23

MGM AIBU to go out looking to get pregnant? I'm 35 and unmarried, all I want is a baby girl of my own.

She did, had my Mum at 36, and then met and married my Grampy when Mum was 8.

ellathefox Thu 06-Sep-12 10:38:34

My great granny:

Aibu to tie a bell round ds neck so I know where he is at all times?

TyrionTheImp Thu 06-Sep-12 10:47:20

My great grandmother:

AIBU to refuse to marry young as is expected. The Great War has begun and I want to train as a midwife instead. My family is aghast.

I'm 30 now and I've met a man, also in his 30s. People are horrified we plan to marry and have dc at this geriatric age. WIBU to do it?

WIBU to tell the hospital staff to "go away" when they suggested I stick my ds2 in a home and forget about him due to his Down's Syndrome and what will probably turn out to be v significant SNs. They say he'd be better off in an institution. I think I can offer him a rich and full life.

AIBU to forever hate August 3rd. It's the day I had my beautiful dd, but also the day she choked to death on a fishbone, eating her 3rd birthday dinner.

AIBU to rage endlessly at the coal board. My dh has been killed in the pit due to faulty equipment. They're refusing any pension.

AIBU to think that after 5yrs of fighting the system, the meagre offer of £2 a week for 15 years or until I die, whichever comes sooner, is poor compensation for my dh's death and will leave me penniless with two children, one with severe extra needs to think of.

AIBU to be humbled by the fact that since the court ruled I would never be allowed a full pension, not a single trader or businessman in our tiny mining community has ever accepted a penny from me. I will still die penniless and live with my ds1 until I die at 93 (with my much adored ds with Down's still healthy and thriving in his 60s btw) but the community will never take a penny from me.

WIBU to start holding Labour Party meetings in my front room, whilst also campaigning for the Miners Union so that no woman ever goes through this again?

Formidable and wonderful woman she was. I still have a tinny recording of her singing to me as a baby. She was a proud, fierce woman.

DH's great grandmother:

AIBU to be secretly pleased my abusive dh has been at war for 6yrs with absolutely no contact? Unfortunately, the lovely GI I met and had a baby with has been sent back to America. I suspect my dh will be very angry when he returns (she had to drive the little boy- aged 2 -to the children's home the day he returned. It was, and I quote 'me or that bastard'. She cried all the way there and declared she would never cry again and we knew nothing about that day until 3yrs ago when her baby boy, now almost 70, got back in touch to tell her he never blamed her. They are in regular touch).

My Grandma:

AIBU to be cross that the hospital are telling me I'm imagining my waters breaking, I'm in a lot of pain.

It's been 3 days now, wibu to go to the hospital and demand they help me. The pains are still there but I think something's wrong.

It's 5 days later. My tiny scrap of a baby seems to be unwell. They've said it would be kinder not to feed her. I'm bfing round the clock. They don't approve.

She's 18mo now, still bf. She has brain damage, is profoundly deaf and has complex physical and emotional needs. But she's beautiful and I am still refusing to put her in a home for hopeless cases as they refer to it.

AIBU to be proud of my dd? She's 62yrs old now and living in a house for the first time, away from me but with a team of round the clock carers and 3 friends with similar levels of need. Her life is very full.

DH's grandma:

AIBU to be so horrified by what happened on my wedding night that when I've had 3 dc in quick succession, I'll insist on separate beds and never touch dh again. My mother said he'd but his down belows in my ear and I've never gotten over what really happened.

Not a Grandparent but a Great Aunt

"AIBU to feel really lonely during the German Occupation as all the men, including my DF, are at war. I have been seeing a really lovely man, he's only 19 (like me) and treats me like a queen. We are so in love and want to be together. Problem is that he is a German Soldier"

NiniLegsInTheAir Thu 06-Sep-12 11:31:53

My paternal Nan:

My DS and some bitch he knocked up are getting married and not inviting anyone. AIBU to get dressed in my finest and stalk them on their wedding day to find out where their nuptuals are?

Brightspark1 Thu 06-Sep-12 13:24:48

Tyrion- your post made me cry, thank God things have changed. So much for the good old days.

BikeRunSki Thu 06-Sep-12 13:38:11

AIBU to celebrate my two eldest children's birthdays two months late, so they are not so close to Christmas?

[My mum was 8 when he discovered that she and her brothers were two months older than they thought]

AIBU to announce that I am an old lady now I am 50. I no longer need to look after children or want to drive, and will spend the rest of my days going to coffee mornings, drinking gin and getting my hair done.

[Ha! Two generations later, when I am 50 I will have a 9 year old!]

TyrionTheImp Thu 06-Sep-12 13:40:10

I researched my family tree when dd was tiny. It filled the 98,648 hours of exclusive feeding. I found some terrible, terrible stories. It all started because I had been given a locket which is a family heirloom. I had a photo and a lock of hair in it and all my Grandma knew was that it was Great Aunt Esther. I was determined to find her. Turns out she got married aged 19, had 2 babies, died of tuberculosis when her 2nd was 8 months. He then died of TB aged 3 and her pfb was killed on the Somme 14yrs later. I carefully took the locket apart and found an inscription to her dc, written after she died. It sparked a real obsession in me. The tales of workhouses, affairs, neonatal deaths, massive families, abuse, corruption etc are endless. And that's one family. I found the cemetery most of my relatives are buried in. There's a row of 14 graves in one place. All children, ranging from stillborn to 15. Nearly all TB. Odd measles case, one accident. All the same generation.

eragon Thu 06-Sep-12 14:13:49

AIBU I have only one daughter, so its not my fault that she has to stay at home and miss school to look after her younger brothers . i am also in labour with my 5 child and who else is going to follow me around the house putting newspaper on the floor to mop up my waters?

AIBU in telling my 4th child all his life that he was the one that ripped me apart in labour! he came out feet first at 9lbs!

AIBU in telling my husband that the rubbers the clinic gave me wont work if he wears them with the top cut off? I dont care that it doenst feel the same for him! I think i am pregnant with baby n6!

AIBU in being ashamed that I am having my 8th child at 52? I thought it was the change! what will the neighbours think! No one has sex past 40 these days!

AIBU to complain to my sons that the metal studs in their jeans are ruining my mangle?

AIBU to tell my DGD to stop complaining about the taste of the warm milk and gin cure for period pains? (to this day i cant stand gin!)

AIBU about putting stork marge on my DGD's burn on her arm. i dont she really did hear her skin sizzle!

AIBU to flinch in disgust when DGD says she is going to breastfeed her baby pass 3 months? everyone knows they need to go on cows milk with boiled millet to make them sleep through the night. Next she will be refusing the warm brandy on a teaspoon for babies wind! HA HA!

BonnieBumble Thu 06-Sep-12 14:19:13

AIBU to be pissed off that my children have to separated from me because of the war?

Callmecordelia Thu 06-Sep-12 14:48:54

My GM - Parenting/AIBU to put my 2 year old son into a bright red jumper, put him over the gate at the end of the garden and let him wander? I can see for miles out of the kitchen window across Romney Marsh, I'll always be able to see him. hmm

My Dad always speaks of this really fondly, swears he can remember it - and credits his interest in nature and plants to it!

pissovski Thu 06-Sep-12 16:33:58

All MGGm

Is my DH being UR? He has joined up to fight in this war (WW1) cos he says he doesn't want to lose face with his brothers (who have also signed up). We have 3 children and one on the way. (This one was my Nan, who was born nov 1914. She didn't see her father until she was 4, when he returned home. He had been gassed and was in and out of hospital for the next 11 years, until he died. They did have 2 more children though!)

Wibu to give my kids onion sarnies for dinner? That's all i have in (widow's pension is abominable!)

WIbu to keep one of my DD's off school to me look after my youngest 2? I already feel guilty cos she passed her scholarship exam, but i can't afford for her to stay in school.

Are my sisters BU or am i? They are a lot older than me and brought me from age 7 (my mum died having me and my nan looked after me til 7 when she died). They have never married and run a shop that our dad got them. they want one of my DD's to go and live with them, and say they will happily take care of her. They are better off than us (DH is ill, and can only work off and on, and we have 5 others and one more on the way) and i know they will look after her. She really likes them and wouldn't mind going to live there, but she is really good with the younger one, and is a great help in the house. I want her to stay at home. (again this was my nan)

1944girl Sat 08-Sep-12 20:36:28

From my paternal grandmother;
AIBU to stay with my womanising heavy drinking husband for the sake of our four children?.He is in a well paid job and every so often spends loads of money on me, but I know it is concense(sp) money because that means he has spent the same or more on his current fancy piece.Last time he bought me a fur coat.I threw it back to him when I found that the OW had got one from him as well.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Sat 08-Sep-12 21:01:29

AIBU to expect all the nosy buggers in my village to stop talking about me having a baby out of wedlock. It's not my fault DP died over France on a bombing mission before we could marry.

My DGM would have written that. Thankfully, her DM was a battle axe who protected her from the worst of it. I have never forgotten her talking about being in the WAAF and counting the planes back, knowing someone had died.

LemonBreeland Sat 08-Sep-12 21:11:07

DHs Granny: AIBU to tel DIL (my MIL) thst Jason is a dogs name and should not name DGS2 this name.

I hope she would have got flamed. MIL picked a name out of a book with a pin for DH (it's a pretty crap name too). fwiw he has never met a dog called Jason.

Lolwhut Sat 08-Sep-12 21:39:43

TyrionTheImp amazing post. Thanks for posting it.

Actually there are a lot of amazing posts in this thread. It really makes you think.

heather1980 Sat 08-Sep-12 21:41:38

My Gm: AIBU to not go to my DD wedding as i don't approve of her Dh, he is the son of a farmer, even though i am married to a farmer myself. am i also being BU to never speak to my DD again but to rock up and try and kidnap her 2 dds from the childminders when dd is in the hospital with her dying husband?

lovebunny Sat 08-Sep-12 22:06:23

aibu to marry this man i had sex with on the first night i met him, because i had to catch him before he found out most of my brothers and my dad died of tuberculosis that one of them caught in the trenches, and no-one else in the village will touch me? this man who will look under the bathroom door to see his brother's wife undress, and who will abuse at least one of my daughters? this man who will lie as easily as if the truth had no value at all? but who will still have on his conscience at the age of eighty-nine, that in canada in the depression, in desperation, he stole a horse to use to work his farm?

of course, my wider family are the local moneylenders and hardmen so people are a bit wary of me, apart from the tb. and my mother is a wisewoman, if you know what i mean.

so i'd better marry him, hadn't i? not much future for me if i don't. i was top of my class in school but i went to the mill at thirteen, in my clogs and shawl. there's not much for women in this life, is there? even rudi valentino's dead now.

larks35 Sat 08-Sep-12 22:29:20

From my maternal DGM - WIBU to tell my youngest "sister-in-law" that she is really my niece?

In actual fact it was only when her older sister Aunty was dying that my Great Aunt second cousin Claire was told that her real mother was actually the person she'd thought was her oldest sister, who emigrated to Australia back in 1930s. Aunty Claire was 64 at this point and furious, but did visit her half-brother and all his descendents. I think she made peace in the end, but it must have been awful for her. She was a midwife, never married, strict Catholic. Now she had some stories...

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 08-Sep-12 23:25:11

(Suspect I'm related to LemonBreeland).

GGM would have still been alive when Jason born early 1980s.

TigerStripe Sat 08-Sep-12 23:28:05

AIBU to think my boss should not have asked me to remove my wedding ring when I go to work?

Tis true. My grandmother, who was born in 1900, worked for an MP. When she married my grandfather the MP said that he would love her to continue to work for him but she'd have to remove her wedding ring when at work as it wasn't the done thing to be working once married shock

lovebunny Sat 08-Sep-12 23:42:55

@larks35 - strange, but i think i'm teaching a child in a similar situation. 'sister' was pregnant in school - i taught her and i saw it. she then took a good while off, coming back only for exams. i saw her on the bus with a baby. she looked at me and said aggressively 'its me brother!' well, he might have been. or not. never saw her without him, for a few years after that. now, he's coming to lessons.

lovebunny Sat 08-Sep-12 23:50:52

tyriontheimp, just read your post and i'm crying...

larks35 Sat 08-Sep-12 23:58:53

lovebunny, I hope that while his family are trying to hide the truth from everyone else, they don't hide it from him. Unnecessary now really. When Aunty Claire was born in the 1920s, in a strict Catholic community, it was the only thing to do really, apart from sending mum and child to a workhouse.

lovebunny Sun 09-Sep-12 00:02:15

i know, its weird. i work in the inner city, where you think no-one would care. but it seems to have happened. perhaps i'm wrong.

CrikeyOHare Sun 09-Sep-12 00:05:14

I'm not sure which topic my grandma would have posted this in, maybe relationships?

"Please help. My two little daughters aged 5 & 7 were killed by a bus crossing the road while I was newly pregnant with my 3rd daughter. Now that my new daughter is here, I just cannot bond with her at all, and it's causing upset between me and my husband".

The new baby was my mum & they never bonded at all sad

saffronwblue Sun 09-Sep-12 00:09:27

My maternal grandfather.

I'm off to the Great War! A long way by ship from South Australia to France but I am sure it will be a lark when I get there! AIBU to break off my engagement before I go? I want to do the hoourable thing and don't want her to have to be tied to me if the Hun cripple me.

He did break off the engagement but when he returned 4 years later, miraculously unharmed, they reunited, married and had 4 children.

saffronwblue Sun 09-Sep-12 00:11:27

Paternal grandmother.
DH has died suddenly. Although he was a bank manager he never showed me how to pay a bill or write a cheque. Can some kind MNer explain how it all works, please?

lovebunny Sun 09-Sep-12 00:24:00

@crikey - perhaps she couldn't risk it.

CrikeyOHare Sun 09-Sep-12 00:25:50

Love Yes, I think that was it.

ThreeForTea Sun 09-Sep-12 00:39:31

Ggm: aibu to serve my dc's their 'pet' bunny for supper?
(ggf brought it home alive and let family play with it, name it, put a bow round its neck etc, little did they know! Don't think they enjoyed that dinner very much! 1940s family fun smile

Gm: wibu to send my baby back home to the west Indies for my mother to raise because we were struggling here in London? Now he's 9 we can afford a house but also have two other children. Ds1 thinks his gp are his parents and his aunts and uncles are his brothers and sisters, we haven't seen him in that time at all. Aibu to want to send for him to come back now? Wwyd?
(ds1 came back but always felt like an outsider in his family, and don't think dgm has ever forgiven herself for sending him in the first place)

Bellyjaby Sun 09-Sep-12 06:53:04

From my great uncle:

It my nephews 50th, and I've always resented him (first grandson so adored by dm). Was I bu to announce to everyone the he wasn't wanted - his parents were married 10 yrs before his birth, had no others and he was born 9 months after VE day.

imissmygranny Sun 09-Sep-12 07:13:16

(NC as these are instantly recognisable to family smile

These would be just a few of my grandmother's many AIBUs ..

AIBU for earning myself 28 days confined to barracks for throwing an ink-well at the major for making a pass at me?

AIBU for walking out of school and refusing to go back after the nuns told me Princesses Elizabdeth & Margaret (during the coronation) wouldn't go to heaven because they weren't Catholic?

AIBU for getting a postman to help me start my husband's new car so that I can drive it even though I have never driven before? (I'll later go on to drive on a racetrack)

AIBU for discharging myself against medical advice a week after major surgery because they keep getting cross that I'm walking to the shop to buy
my newspaper?

She was a thoroughly unreasonable and amazing woman grin wine

BombusBombus Sun 09-Sep-12 07:38:06

AIBU to feed the evacuees rabbit for dinner and tell them it's underground chicken?

MamaBear17 Sun 09-Sep-12 09:02:23

My dad did that with me. My mum had an EMCS and was knocked out (as was the custom 30 years ago). Dad registered me whilst she was still under anaesthetic! She woke up to find that there was a baby next to her. She asked the nurse whose baby it was, the nurse replied 'its sarah, your baby'. My mum then asked who Sarah was, only to be told that Sarah was her baby. Mum then asked if shed had a girl, 'yes' came the reply, 'Sarah'. Leaving my mum sat there in total confusion saying 'but if it was a girl we were going to call her Natalie........' No wonder my poor mum had PND!

Proudnscary Sun 09-Sep-12 09:05:36

AIBU to wash my hair with Fairy Liquid and throw away the abundance of rhubarb in my garden because 'it's a weed'?

sashh Sun 09-Sep-12 09:08:10

Not my grandmother, but someone I worked with's great gran.

We are currently working overseass as missionaries, our ds (7) is at boarding school in England and will be visiting us for the summer. I think he is quite old enough to get the train to the steamer and then the trans siberian express, we will meet him from the train in Beijing.

He will have cash to tip the porters to carry his trunk. Dh thinks he needs an adult with him until he is 12. AIBU to think a 7 year old who knows the route will be perfectly fine?

Another one

AIBU to think my mother should just give me permission to marry? I'm two months pregnant. My fiance says he will go to court and get permission from the judge but surely he shouldn't have to.

LemonBreeland Sun 09-Sep-12 09:13:17

Fluffy this Jason was born in the 60's. Funny that there is more than one story like that.

Graceparkhill Sun 09-Sep-12 09:19:27

No grannies in my life but Great Aunty born in 1895.

Her post would go in Style and Beauty.

My sister Grace and I went to church today in our new hobble skirts. Our father was furious for bringing shame on the famiiy with such provocative dress and has locked us in our room.

How can we persuade him that the latest Paris fashions have travelled to rural Perthshire ?

LadyLetch Sun 09-Sep-12 09:26:40

Another birth certificate one here.

My nan sent my grandad off to register my aunt's birth with the chosen name 'Katherine'. Unfortunately, the registrar misheard my grandfather and registered the child as 'Kathleen'. My grandad was too embarrassed / shy to correct him do my aunt has been lumbered with Kathleen all her life! My nan has never forgiven him for that grin. It only happened over 50 years ago now.

Still, to make amends I now have a Katherine, and every time I call her by her full name, my nan always points out what a lovely name Katherine is and how much nicer it is than the awful Kathleen my poor aunt ended up with. You'd think after 50 years she'd let it go.

MummyPig24 Sun 09-Sep-12 10:34:58

Cogito my great nan would have said something v.similar!

AIBU to be worried about dhs reaction when he returns from the war after 3yrs to find we now have 3 children instead of 2? Also WIBU not to tell said child and let her find out for herself in 60yrs time?

My maternal grandmother would NEVER think she was being unreasonable, when she almost always is.

PunkInDublic Sun 09-Sep-12 14:44:17

PGF. AIBU to feel guilty that everyone died in the mine but me? They knew it was going to happen and there was no time for everyone to get out. The gaffa put me in a cart and shoved hard to get me away from it all. Everyone died.

GF was nine at the time. The gaffa just plonked him in and pushed him away from it all. I have no idea of the gentleman's name, I know he died, but I look at my DS who is a spit of my lovely Grandfather and wish I could thank him a thousand times over.

PGM: AIBU to change my age so I can marry and join Women's Auxiliary Air Force? And then change my name several times to try and hide the son I had to a man possibly when married?

Grandma was an amazing, strong, loving woman who kept her family warm and fed through the miners strikes and raised 3 healthy happy children. Still, god knows what she was up to before she settled with my Grandad (not the man she changed her age to marry) Tracing the family tree up her side has proved impossible

Great Aunty: AIBU to work as a prostitute, so that when 60 years later people tell my Darling Niece (me!), 'Ahhhhhhhh I knew your Aunty Beth!' Everyone smirks, bar my niece, who has no clue.

Found this gem out at a family funeral

MrsApplepants Sun 09-Sep-12 17:06:45

Maternal GM: Aibu to get pg on purpose so that I will have to marry the man I love, as currently my parents won't let me as they don't think he's good enough? (she did just that aged 18 and they had a very happy life together)

Paternal GM: Aibu to be annoyed that working in a munitions factory for 3 years has caused my hands chronic dermatitis and no one warned us about it? Still suffered with it until her death 50 years later.

Dozer Sun 09-Sep-12 19:26:53

My granny would've got into right old rows on MN!

she might've found feminism section: why have I been fired from my job now the war is over? Why did I have to leave school to work at 13 when my brother stayed on, and even went to uni, even though I was cleverer and more hardworking? Why do the men get education and jobs? Why is there no reliable contraception (and I am seen as a bad wife if I refuse sex).

Why do I do all housework and childcare, but not control most of the money, when we both work?

Why when our baby son died of leukemia did they ask my DH permission for a post-mortem and not consult me?

she was sad angry

thegreylady Sun 09-Sep-12 19:36:04

AIBU to put a couple of teaspoons of sweet sherry in baby's last bottle at night?
He is six weeks old now and it makes sure we all get a good night's sleep smile

lovebunny Sun 09-Sep-12 20:08:00

hahaha! it was brandy my gran used!

sittinginthesun Sun 09-Sep-12 20:15:50

My paternal grandma was not a fan of attachment parenting...

"AIBU for leaving my 12 month old son in his pram, in the field, behind the orchard for 4 hours or so? When I went to get him, it took me an hour to find him, as he'd climbed out and fallen asleep under a cabbage."

ExasperatedSigh Sun 09-Sep-12 20:23:53

Paternal GM:

AIBU to not take cheating H back into our home now that he has (he says) finished with his latest floozy? When he was here, it was nothing but gaslighting and financial/emotional abuse - DS and I are so much happier without him.

A few months later, she would have been back with:

AIBU to be sobbing in the street after 'D'H evicted me and our little DS from OUR HOME?

Women weren't allowed their names on the rent book in those days angry He charmed his way back into her life just so he could turf them out and take the house.

There would then follow years of "AIBU to think that ExH should put his hand in his pocket and pay some bloody child support?"

NowThenWreck Sun 09-Sep-12 20:36:17

AIBU to tell DH that I am actually 11 years older than him...?

NowThenWreck Sun 09-Sep-12 20:54:25

Exasperated, my other Granny always had the house in her name. (It wasnt rented though)She told my mum that having the house in your name was the single most important thing a woman should do.
I love my grandmas! Fiery and fiesty working women, both.

trice Sun 09-Sep-12 22:14:17

Aibu to wish that mental health treatment would improve. I am constantly having to make up stories to cover up the injuries that my dd gets when I throw her down the stairs or scrub her with the floor brush and the carbolic soap. I love her really but when I am having one of my turns I am evil.

Dgm was lovely when medicated, I adored her, but my dm nearly didn't survive her childhood.

MGM- am I being unreasonable to stand my boyfriend up for the VE celebrations street party because I've had a better offer. That better offer was my granda and they had 65 blissfully happy years together.
PGM- should I take in the little boy, conceived when my dh had an affair and bring him up as my own? Only found this out 40 years later when she was found to have a hereditary condition and all her children were to be tested. She told the doctor in confidence but he let it slip. Up until then my DU had no idea. She was devastated. 20 years later I still can't believe my sweet gf could have cheated on her like that. Or that my feisty gm took my uncle in. Glad she did though because he is fab!

Sarraburd Sun 09-Sep-12 23:20:03

Loved this thread!

My PGGM: AIBU to disown my DS for marrying a catholic?

My PGM: (the catholic)

AIBU to use my social position to bludgeon my pregnant DDs best friend's DB's family to force them to marry and emigrate to Australia to avoid a scandal?


AIBU to send my kids to an orphanage for a couple of years because we can't afford to keep them? Now that I have them back, AIBU to have a late abortion of DD3 because I can't afford any more children?

notcitrus Mon 10-Sep-12 12:32:27

Paternal - My parents are making me leave school and go into service as soon as I turn 14. I think this is unfair because they have enough money to send my three brothers to posh boarding schools. AIBU?

My ds2 wants to stay at school after 14 and spend years doing sums. How on earth can anyone spend two years just doing sums all day and night - surely he's just being lazy and avoiding getting a proper job like ds1? (dad got into the grammar and did double maths and physics A-levels, much to parents' disgust)

Maternal: AIBU never to use this newfangled 'telephone' because making you hear voices that aren't there is surely the work of the devil? My husband and children say I should use it when customers phone our shop. Next they'll be wanting me to learn to read and write! Just because they've had all this education since they built a school in this county.

And more lighthearted - I think it's great that Grandpa and I are still having a wonderful sex life in our early 80s and want to make sure my children and grandchildren don't think it's something they have to stop - AIBU to tell them all about it every time any kissing or anything comes on this new TV thing?

Fab woman, Grandma - she did learn to write and read a bit when she was 70. Granny was always bitter about her lack of education - understandably, but made her really rather unpleasant.

Iheartpasties Mon 10-Sep-12 23:52:14

DGM - AIBU not to go to DGD's christening? I have been invited by the family but after going to the christenings of DGS1 and DGS2 I just can't face it, the christenings were so boring!

waterlego Tue 11-Sep-12 00:04:07

Great thread- such fascinating stories!

MGM: AIBU to quite enjoy life in the children's home, although I wish
I knew for sure what had happened to my parents. (Her mother had died of TB in the workhouse and her father was in the prison up the road)

PGM: AIBU to think that if the midwife wasn't delivering twins next door, I wouldn't have to go into hospital to have 8th DC. And WIBU to call her Octavia? (Grandad decided it would be unreasonable and they called her Claire instead).

festivalwidow Tue 11-Sep-12 11:25:18

Another one from maternal GM:
"AIBU not to want all my teeth extracted as a wedding present? Apparently it's the done thing and they say the false ones look great, but I'd really prefer a teapot and some nice towels to be honest. AIBU?"

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