to bribe ds1 (7) to have his eczema cream on

(45 Posts)
LargeLatte Fri 31-Aug-12 20:31:54

After severe flare up have left GPs today with instructions for 9 different medications to cover breathing and skin problems.

3 of them are creams.

He hates hates hates having cream put on, and each application (minimum twice per day) is going to take some time.

Do I -
a) Expect him to understand importance of regime and comply since it is his body?
b) Bribe / reward him in some way?

Be gentle but open to suggestions - especially (or maybe exclusively) from people with experience.

orangeandlemons Fri 31-Aug-12 20:35:13

I don't know, but am watching this eagerly. I am exhausted with the battle with dd to get her cream on, and bribery/rewards don't work. I have hell every morning and evening.

ExitStencilist Fri 31-Aug-12 20:35:27

Bit of both. Rewards for getting on with it and not fussing, but not bribing to do it. It's a fine line but an important distinction. He has to understand this is for his own good and not something you are doing to him.

Sirzy Fri 31-Aug-12 20:36:38

Poor thing, I would do a mix of both but see no harm in a bit of bribery - when he realises it all helps make him feel better hopefully he will be more cooperative

PrideOfChanur Fri 31-Aug-12 20:39:28

I would go for talking about the importance of the regime and why it needs to be done,and lots of praise and some rewards for doing it. At 7 is he not aware that the creams leave him feeling better,even if that isn't instant? Or does it not make that kind of noticable difference?

Springforward Fri 31-Aug-12 20:46:39

We do a bit of both with DS (4 yo), to be honest. At bedtime the reward is an extra story, in the morning it's squeezing out his own toothpaste!

mummmsy Fri 31-Aug-12 20:48:42

hmmm at 7? mainly a) but with encouragement and no bribes

RedBlanket Fri 31-Aug-12 20:53:17

Can you get him to do a little bit himself? DS only has eczema on his legs usually so he does one leg and I do the other.

workshy Fri 31-Aug-12 20:54:08

8yo now manages her own eczema creams (appart from her back where she can't reach)

had several conversation about it keeping her awake at night and that's not nice is it? and the creams really do help
also (her being a girl n'all) I've played on her vanity a bit talking about her skin having marks on it when she is older

I then was really quite mean and told I wasn't putting the cream on if she was going to create a bit harsh and didn't put the creams on her for a few days and she then put her own on after 4 days

this may sound odd but the other thing I've found recently that helps her eczema is the craze for onesies(sleep suits)
she really agrivates her eczema at night from scratching but when she wears her all in one she can't get to her skin to scratch it, it's really given her skin a rest

I thought this was what Chocolate Buttons were for...

Shesparkles Fri 31-Aug-12 20:58:51

I prefer to look upon it as an incentive rather than bribery!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 31-Aug-12 21:00:00

I left ds to it for a few weeks. I figured a few weeks of discomfort were better than years of battles and tears.
Ds has asd, he has to experience things, it's no use telling him what will happened he doesn't put his cream on.
But lots of kids are like that with or without asd.

Have you checked if the creams are painful? I am sure you are an old hand at this so forgive me if I am asking the obvious.
Some of them are very, very stingy.

We can't use anything but epederm on ds. Poor little bugger. He didn't speak till quite late so couldn't tell us that all the other ones we used hurt him sad

I think 7 is the age when they start rebelling against their treatment.

workshy Fri 31-Aug-12 21:03:24

ohMrDV, I'm glad it wasn't just me

I've had a few hmm faces from people when they find out I let her let her eczema get worse IYKWIM

orangeandlemons Fri 31-Aug-12 21:05:03

That's what I have had to resort to too!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 31-Aug-12 21:13:45

Glad it's not just me either smile
Ds has severe atopic eczema so unlikely he will ever grow out of it completely. He has skin like sandpaper (awww).

I just thought that the more I fought the worse it would get, like food battles and potty training iyswim.

So I didn't force him and his skin got bad. He began to complain about it and that gave me the opportunity to remind him what the creams are for.

It's take a while but he has got asd and LDs so I thought it might.

It's a long term plan. I can't be doing his cream when he is 20. He has to understand.

That's the plan anyway smile

LargeLatte Fri 31-Aug-12 21:16:19

Thanks for the responses.

He does understand the logic but because the creams cause immediate discomfort (cold and squishy) rather than immediate relief I think he is fine talking about it in principle and then when it comes to the crunch he is not happy.

Just tried the lastest lot out and went ok except the all over Balneum which he said was stingy (he says that about ever emolient we have ever tried and I'm beginning to wonder if he interprets the sightly cold feeling as the cream dries as stinging).

Anyway happily listening to Dad reading a story now so obviously not that painful.

Actually went about quite matter of factly restating what dr said, who had been brilliant and explained it all to ds rather than just talking to me. Then said, bedtime is at 9.20 (bit on the drag tonight) so the quicker we get this done the longer you have to colour in / write in diary before bed.

And it was done without a fuss.

Need to think about similar approach in morning.

Agree that by now he should be able to do this himself but he absolutely hates touching the cream so it will take quite a bit of work to get to where we need to be.

I think at 7 he has realized that we have been telling him creams make it better for years but he still has the condition and he is fed up with it. Can't blame him really.

Idocrazythings Fri 31-Aug-12 21:17:51

When my dd was going through the bed wetting clinic they gave her complete ownership of the problem.

They said it was her problem and they (and myself) were going to help her. Every appointment she sat in the chair nearest the nurse and the appointment questions were directed to her. The bell and mat was given durectly to her. I was treated a bit like an accessory. She was 5 1/2 (but quite mature) I think it worked really well (well she was dry within two weeks).

Perhaps you could do something like that and hopefully get the gp on side to centre his appointment around him (if the GP doesn't) he could keep his creams in a special box in his room and maybe have a log book/tick chart calendar for him to record when he cares for his skin (with your supervision/help of course) if his log book is fully completed each week maybe he could get a small bribery treat?

LargeLatte Fri 31-Aug-12 21:20:30

Should also add that the 'leave it until it gets worse' is definitely not an option at the moment as he is in quite a bad way. And he just says when there is no skin (because he has scratched it all away) it doesn't itch anymore so he doesn't need any cream. I can't look at his legs without wanting to cry at the moment. But I do agree with the logic of that approach.

workshy Fri 31-Aug-12 21:21:20

balneum is hrrible stuff though -my DD says it's stingy too

Idocrazythings Fri 31-Aug-12 21:21:34

I think I X-posted a little with you OP smile

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 31-Aug-12 21:26:19

You are right. You can't do the leaving thing when they are in flare. You don't want him to end up infected.

At times we had to pin DS down and it was horrid.

The thicker creams are greasy but seem to be less stingy. I found warming a towel and wrapping him up immediately after creaming helped. Takes away a bit of the horrible cold feeling.

Don't worry about him not doing his creams himself. It's a long process. It has ups and downs too. We have strikes quite often.

Eczema is crap

LargeLatte Fri 31-Aug-12 21:38:09

MrsDV - already infected and on oral ABs sad Love love the idea of a warm towel and he will too - warm towel after bath is his favourite thing so as long as he doesnt try to rub creams off, this should work well.

CrazyThings - yes cross posted but you still gave excellent advice. It was first time GP had done this (because we have changed GP practices as last one was utter crap). I think it did really help and he knows we've booked an appointment to check progress. Really like the chart idea - that will help him see how far we are through the process each morning and afternoon too.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 31-Aug-12 21:48:41

Have you seen a dermatologist yet?
If not, you really must.
Gps can be lovely but they do not have the expertise to treat eczema. I don't mean that in a nasty way.

We see the specialist nurse. She is up to date with all the latest treatments. She also has lots of samples and freebies, ds loves them smile

Eczema clothing/Cotton comforts do large, funky all in ones. They are thick comfy cotton. You can warm then on the radiator and put them on after creaming - all cosy.

Sirzy Fri 31-Aug-12 21:50:46

I agree with the warm towel idea.

And as some long term reassurance as a young child I had very severe excema (hospitalised on occasion as so bad) but since I was around 13 I have had only patchy occasional problems rather than anything constant.

foxinsocks Fri 31-Aug-12 21:51:33

Balneum stings my skin too

What are the creams?

I don't blame him tbh. Sometimes creams hurt me and I won't put them on and I'm far older grin

foxinsocks Fri 31-Aug-12 21:52:44

Do you wet wrap?

Goldmandra Fri 31-Aug-12 21:58:24

You def need to see a specialist who will understand more and have access to samples to try out.

Have you tried putting it on when he's asleep? It used to work for me when DD1's was bad as a toddler.

I have eczema too and some of the creams can be really painful on inflamed skin and it lasts for quite a few minutes sometimes. It's worth trying some others until you find one that's more comfortable.

blueskycp Fri 31-Aug-12 22:00:54

I sympathise with you as my DD (4) has it quite bad (although we're having a good spell past couple of weeks). Have you tried Hydromol? It's very greasy but doesn't sting and isn't cold when it goes on. We've had good results with this (we still use steroid on the worst bits). It's not nice for them to have to put up with it every day and not pleasant for you either sad
When DD has started playing up refusing to have it on, I point out that the 'doctor said she has to'. Seems to do the trick.

Just to stick my twopennorth in... some cream do sting, some of them bloody well hurt, when applied to eczema. I've had it all my life, and nothing has ever helped very much except plain common or garden vegetable oil of all things. When I was pregnant I flared all over, and DH used to literally smother me in it morning and night confused made a hell of a mess but brought a bit of relief.
I remember screaming and crying as a child because the doctor would tell my mam she must apply whichever the latest cream was (and we had them all at one point or another) and of course she listened, and did, and it hurt.
It's worth persevering with different ones, as some work wonders for one person an do nothing for the next, but please listen when he says one stings or hurts - chances are it does, and there's always another one to try. Remember too, there is no cure for eczema, only things to alleviate the symptoms.

sashh Sat 01-Sep-12 02:12:20

Could he put the cream on himself if he had plastic gloves?

Some creams / ointments do sting.

Could you let hiim leave one part without cream, half an arm possibly and take pictures daily so he can see the progress when he does have cream?

LargeLatte Sat 01-Sep-12 10:59:31

Thanks all.

We are getting the medicated creams on OK - its the emolient that is stingy. We have never found an emolient that isn't stingy yet and we've tried about 7 or 8 now. The Balnuem oil works a treat though and he likes that.

Going to make up a chart today with his medicines, creams and he has some occ therapy exercises he has to do daily as well and think we need to start handing some responsibility over to him for this and a chart will help him see what needs doing.

shuffleballchange Sat 01-Sep-12 11:11:44

Poor little fella. Thankfully we seem to have DS1's under control at the moment but it will get worse through the winter. He is now 7 and I've found the best way to apply the creams is to firm it into a game or pay him 5p for each time its done without a fuss. Good Luck

shuffleballchange Sat 01-Sep-12 11:13:43

That should be turn not firm.

Zerobase seems to be the least stingy for us.

nextphase Sat 01-Sep-12 11:14:22

DS1 is much happier to have emollient on if I rub it in my hands first to warm it up. Worth a go? Tho it sounds like you have quite a lot more than us to put on, so sorry if thats not practical.

Were also much younger than you, but DS1putting moisturiser on my legs, and then me putting creams and lotions on his legs helped a bit. Not sure what 7 year olds are like tho, and that may be a useless suggestion.

In fact, all of that is probably not relevant to a 7 yr old, but I'm going to post anyway, in case it's useful to someone else. Just ignore me!

LargeLatte Sat 01-Sep-12 11:52:50

shuffle - never heard of zero base. Had diprobase and doublebase before. Will ask GP. Thanks.

Next - I think you might be onto something there - I bet he would be more open to helping me with my handcream and then we can build up his tolerance to touching the cream and the smell etc.

It does seem to be a new ball game now he is 7. He is wanting to assert control over his own body and is independent for all other self care so we need to learn how to help him take responsibility for this I think.

So far (only 24 hours into new regime) its going OK and I am glad I didn't start off with a bribe.

fuzzpig Sat 01-Sep-12 11:57:55

It's horrible isn't it sad

My DS just turned 3 but is speech delayed so can't really understand how important it is. He wears those bandage suits every night and we have to cajole him into them by impersonating his toys and/or calling the suits 'space suits' and saying he can go to the moon if he wears them (he plays a rocket game with DD). Failing that we pin him down.

Agree about specialists, they are called specialists for a reason smile DS has been referred for allergy testing too - airborne allergens came back negative so next step is looking at foods.

ddubsgirl Sat 01-Sep-12 12:20:00

i highly recommend the soapy cauldron for homemade bath stuff,the owner of the hove branch her son had bad skin and it cleared up when she started using homemade and opened up the shop she has bath bombs & shower mousse thats based on the rolled oats and it lovely i wont use anything else now,def worth looking in too x

foxinsocks Sat 01-Sep-12 14:12:19

Epaderm the only one I will put near me. I wet wrap with that too and it's so soothing. I use the ointment (think it's that). It's quite thick but lovely on skin. If my skin is v inflamed I only use the steroids till it's less inflamed then go back to the epaderm

JsOtherHalf Sat 01-Sep-12 16:33:59

DS is nowhere near as badly affected as the OP's son. This is our current regime, but everyone will find their products to help with the ezcema.

Lush Dream Cream twice a day - absolutely everywhere. https://www.lush.co.uk/search/results/?term=dream+cream

SBC Propolis on face, inside of elbows, and back of knees. www.qvcuk.com/ukqic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.item.200970.cm_scid.KeywordSearch

1000mg fish oil daily www.zipvit.co.uk/cgi-bin/popupprod3a1.pl?prodcode=A39&cartnumber=8672z¤cy=Pounds Sterling&category=H

Probiotic acidophilus capsule daily www.zipvit.co.uk/cgi-bin/popupprod3a1.pl?prodcode=A334&cartnumber=8672z¤cy=&swords=acid

Dermasilk pyjamas at night www.dermasilk.co.uk/onlineshop/kids_clothing.html

We used to have to use the dermasilk pjs day and night, but since starting the probiotic we have been able to reduce it to just night time.

JsOtherHalf Sat 01-Sep-12 16:34:46

"everyone will find their OWN products to help with the ezcema"

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Sat 01-Sep-12 16:57:17

Yy fox epederm is thicker and ds tolerates it because it doesn't hurt. It hangs about because it's graeasy but it doesn't sting.
All the 'white' lotions hurt him.

Op you really do need a dermatologist.

Ds has a course of oral steroids because we were at the end of our tether. They were magic. I got to see his skin for the first time in 6 years. The eczema came back but never as bad.

LargeLatte Sat 01-Sep-12 17:57:36

Thanks again all - hopefully this will prove to be a useful thread for others for some time to come - I know I will be referring back to it.

MrsDV - he has had oral steroids in the past for his breathing problems and the affect on his skin was amazing, but sadly short lived.

I hear what you're all saying about the dermatologist. We have just left a really terrible GP practice and yesterday was our first visit about this to the new place. They were great and have ordered blood tests, given stuff to get over this flare up and then booked appointment to discuss an ongoing care plan, which I have never had for him before.

Because ds already has to miss school for other hospital appointments, and its a bit of an ordeal getting to our local hospital I'd like to give this approach with the GP a chance, at least until the end of the year. If I try it their way and still can't control it then I will insist on a referal.

But I really appreciate all the advice on different creams, how to apply them, what hurts etc. I get hand eczema but not anywhere else so I don't really know what he goes through - useful to hear from those that do.

Goldmandra Sun 02-Sep-12 22:45:15

50/50 cream is the only emollient we've found that didn't sting. It's 50% white soft paraffin (Vaseline) and 50% liquid paraffin. It is soft and nice to apply but using a petroleum base doesn't suit everyone.

Our GP prescribed it when DD1 was a small baby but you can buy it from the pharmacist very cheaply and it may be worth a try.

Idocrazythings Tue 04-Sep-12 21:44:25

Hope things are you bit better latte; I'm glad you liked my advice- I was a little worried you might think it was a bit random given it was about bed wetting smile. Reading this thread with interest and making some notes as my poor two year old is suffering with it.

everlong Tue 04-Sep-12 21:48:43

It's a nightmare, I agree.

Ds is just 6 and we have the same rigmarole every night. He's really bad at the minute, arms, thighs, bottom and backs of legs. Bleeding and so sore.

I've started saying that if he doesn't moan I'll read him 2 extra pages of ' The BFG ' seems to be working wink

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