Really loud door knocking...

(84 Posts)
Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 18:00:04

Not really sure if i was overreacting. This morning i was sitting eating my breakfast in my dressing gown (9ish). I am 38 wks pregnant (not sure if that's relevant to my mental state!). Suddenly there was the loudest rapping of our letterbox. It really made me jump. It was about 10 sustained/continuous bangs.

I thought the house was on fire or something. So i raced to the door to see the post man holding a package. I said to him politely 'next time can you not knock like that please, you really frightened me' and he looked furious and said 'how am i supposed to knock then' and i replied 'perhaps a bit softer and not for so long, it was really loud'. He then stormed back to the van shaking his head (didn't get me to sign the slip) and muttering and swearing and drove off.

I could understand if he had knocked gently first but he hadn't. Also our front door opens straight off the street into the living space, so you really don't need to rattle the hinges for us to hear it.

I am very tired as not sleeping well, and the way he reacted has made me think maybe i was in the wrong. But i was really expecting him to say 'oh sorry' not give me a load of verbal.

No biggy in the grand scheme of things of course, but AIBU to think that kind of alarm raising banging should be kept for emergencies? How would you knock on a door? i always start gently.

Euphemia Wed 15-Aug-12 18:02:01

YANBU - that sounds way over the top! An apology was all you needed from the churlish git.

OldGreyWiffleTest Wed 15-Aug-12 18:04:29

Sorry but YABU - do you honestly think he can remember which door to knock carefully on and which not? Postmen knock - 'tis what they do!!

I'm with you on this one. We have a buzzer, and people always seem to feel the need to hold it down until I let them in- its the most horrible noise, like a gazillion bees in your ears having a rock concert.
Bastards.
The people buzzing, not the bees.

MyLittleMiracles Wed 15-Aug-12 18:05:44

I always start gently apart from at my besties <cos she has a town house and her living room is on the 2nd floor and if she is downstairs she is in the kitchen so would see me coming>

It does make you jump. I was about 36weeks and got banging on teh door at 4am one morning from the police they had been <wrongly> given information that the person they was looking for lived at our address <moved in about a week previous> had used a machette to chop someone up, just up the road, and we were greeted by armed police!!! I stayed upstairs. Now that was scary and made me go where the hell have we moved to??

YANBU BTW.

WerthersUnOriginal Wed 15-Aug-12 18:06:08

Yadnbu. He sounds as though he used having to knock as an excuse to be arsey about it cos he was in a bad mood.

Some of dc's friends hammer on the door. They don't do it for long though cos I tell em off big time ask them nicely not to. It sounds like a police raid and I don't appreciate it hmm

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 18:06:40

My point is he should have not knocked that loudly on any door. Not just ours. The whole house shook!

flatpackhamster Wed 15-Aug-12 18:07:29

Maybe he did, and you didn't hear it. Or maybe he doesn't knock gently because sometimes people don't hear and then they complain when they don't get their parcels. Maybe he has to do that for deaf old ladies who can't hear him knock softly. Maybe he's keen to get his round finished, because rounds are longer than ever now and when a postie's finished his round he doesn't get to go home any more, he has to go and help sort the post.

I think the only person who was being more unreasonable was that thread poster recently whose kids were misbehaving in the supermarket and got scolded by an old lady, and the poster thought the old lady was in the wrong.

CurlyKiwiControl Wed 15-Aug-12 18:08:55

YANBU.

Arsehole to reply to you like that too, really rude, especially if you were polite.

All he had to say was 'oh sorry i didnt mean to scare you' and exercise a bit of self control, waiting until he was out of sight before cursing (not that i think he had reason too)

It bugs the life outta me, people in customer facing roles who cant be polite and curteous - thats what they are being paid for.

OHforDUCKScake Wed 15-Aug-12 18:11:32

YADNBU. I had to ask my planky postman to calm down his long, loud banging because it woke the baby nearly daily but also like you Id shit myself everytime he did it. No need!

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 18:12:29

He defo did not knock first. As i said the lounge is by the door (think a coronation street terrace). I know they are busy but i was really startled. We have lived here a year and no one has ever knocked liked that.

icecold Wed 15-Aug-12 18:17:34

It's not rude at all

He's a postman. His job is to deliver parcels to people. He needs you to hear that he is here with your parcel. He can't be fannying around knocking gently and waiting....and escalating volume and duration of knock over a length of time hmm

Some people are hard of hearing, some people might still be in bed, some people might ne out in the back garden etc etc.

It would ne far more annoying, if you hadn't heard him and you had to go and collect your parcel, because her taken it back to depot

<joins postman in head shaking activity>

CurlyKiwiControl Wed 15-Aug-12 18:23:54

I get that IceCold, but his attitude when spuddy asked him frankly stank.

All he had to say was sorry. Even if he didnt mean it.

Spuddy was polite to him, he should have been polite back.

Then shook his head when out of sight. He was just rude, no call for it.

I could understand if spuddy had shouted or been agressive towards him, but she wasnt and this was very clear in the OP.

If we were that rude to everyone we disagreed with, well, we would probably all be walking around as grumpy as that postman.

naturalbaby Wed 15-Aug-12 18:24:03

We had a guy from a parcel company that used to hammer seriously hard on our door, every time.i was v.tempted to point out we have a door bell but he was the kind of guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, let alone open the door to in your pj's!
Yanbu

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 18:28:38

okay so i am about 15% U! smile

WelshMaenad Wed 15-Aug-12 18:29:07

Yadnbu. Your house sounds like mine, we had a relief postie that knocked like he was trying to punch a hole in the door too, and it startled the fucking life out of me!

icecold Wed 15-Aug-12 18:34:24

Why the hell should he apologise for doing his job?

He wad probably incredulous. Because its a flippin' mental request

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 18:46:10

I do get what you are saying icecold it just took me by surprise. Also thinking about it, had it been my nan's house she would have been quite scared/upset if any hammered like that on her door. I'm fine obviously (altho i my heart was racing and my subsequent driving lesson was a bit 'jumpy'!) but vulnerable people may be disturbed by this.

icecold Wed 15-Aug-12 18:49:32

Honest to gawd.....you have your pregnancy hormones to blame. But the other people agreeing with you.....

vulnerable people may be disturbed by this

Shaddup crazy fool!

CurlyKiwiControl Wed 15-Aug-12 18:50:00

he shouldnt apologise for doing his job.

he should for frightening an obviously pregnant lady, even if he thought she was "flippin' mental" hmm and it wasnt intentional.

fine have it your way - instead of sorry, an equally polite response would have been to say "ok, i will try and remember that for next time smile "

then go to his van shaking his head and swearing out of sight if he really felt the need.

why share his grump, especially when he is at work, being paid, representing a large company who presumably value customer satisfaction?

OlivesTree Wed 15-Aug-12 18:52:51

YANBU.

Fucking Postmen.

Mine rings my (very loud) doorbell three times in a row. Does my bloody head in and wakes my baby up.

GRRRR!

DozyDuck Wed 15-Aug-12 18:53:17

Haha my window cleaner does this! Just when in getting DS to settle some he bangs on the door, when I rush down and whisper 'hi' thinking he will get the hint he yells 'windows love' (he isn't yelling but think really loud northern accent) then DS shouts 'windows love' all bloody night!

I won't say anything though I'm a wimp.

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 18:53:53

Sorry icecold i do think that an elderly person living on their own may be frightened by this. It is the kind of thing which would have really upset my nan.

Maybe we spuds are just genetically more highly strung like fine thoroughbreds! than others. ;)

Bunbaker Wed 15-Aug-12 18:55:59

"How would you knock on a door? i always start gently."

I don't because most people wouldn't hear it. While I agree that his response was a bit sharp, he has a job to do. The husband of an aquaintance of mine is a postman and he struggles to do his round in the time allotted. Postmen just don't have time to fanny around gently knocking waiting for pregnant women to answer the door. So YABU. You are also BU because you get your post nice and early and we don't.

zookeeper Wed 15-Aug-12 18:56:59

I think that is definitely frightening; i would assume it was the police or an emergency if it was as loud and as long as you describe . Completely unneccesary. YANBU

bumperella Wed 15-Aug-12 18:58:02

I think fair enough for him to knock loud; he doesn't know where you were sitting, if in shower upstairs, etc.
Outrageous behaviour for him to stomp off swearing etc though.

YABABitU. I can understand why you were shocked, but I've seen people chasing postmen down the street swearing at them for 'not knocking loudly enough' so they must do it by default.

It does annoy me when I've just gotten my charge to sleep for her nap though and the postie comes along to wake her up!

CurlyKiwiControl Wed 15-Aug-12 19:02:53

yy bumperella

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 19:04:17

bunbaker we actually get our normal post at 3ish. Just for some reason the parcel came at 9. Then we still got normal post later. But it was Royal Mail delivery still. So not sure what that's all about.

Which probably also adds to why i wasn't expecting anyone at the door at that time. I usually listen out in the avo as it's the only human interaction i have some days

Euphemia Wed 15-Aug-12 19:05:02

If it really was 10 times, that's OTT. Two or three would suffice, followed by upping the ante if no-one answers.

crypes Wed 15-Aug-12 19:15:01

It comes from eastenders . Have you noticed they knock on each others doors really loudly and often ready for a confrontation. People in real.life subconsciously do it. Like watching too much football and spitting in the street.

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 19:27:58

Yes euphemia it was about 10 in really quick loud succession. I was fully expecting a neighbour covered in claret saying 'there's been an accident...' <overactive imagination>

That made me laugh crypes everyone storming round 'eachuvahs aaaahzes' on the bounce!

GhostShip Wed 15-Aug-12 19:30:02

YABU. If he had knocked quietly and you didn't hear it we'd have a topic like 'waited in for the postman, I was in but he didn't bother knocking just posted a card through!'

He can't start of knocking quietly on every door. He'd be there all week. A sharp knock did the job and you got up quickly.

You need to chill out.

GhostShip Wed 15-Aug-12 19:30:55

Was it special delivery? They have to be delivered before 1pm so that might be why you got it early.

alcibiades Wed 15-Aug-12 19:32:54

Do you have just a letterbox? I think it can be difficult for people to know how much the sound of a rattling letterbox reaches into the house - some people have those, um, thingies on the inner side to block draughts and therefore can muffle the sound. He might have had problems elsewhere in getting a response from those other occupiers. Maybe you could fit a doorbell (though, from my experience, you'd also have to fit a big sign pointing to the doorbell).

I do feel sorry for most posties and other delivery people because they're often working to an almost impossible delivery schedule.

But, that's no excuse at all for that postie's attitude. Whatever his problems are, they are not of your making, and he should have responded more politely to you.

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 19:36:01

I agree ghostship i probably do need to chill out. Quite on edge with baby on the way and driving test (AIBU to be more worried stressed about the driving test than the birth?). And i suppose he did get me up quickly - i almost went into spontaneous labour!

I don't know what kind of delivery it was, he had a signy sheet but was so angry with me he stormed off holding it and didn't get it signed - whoops!

IsSpringSprangedYet Wed 15-Aug-12 19:46:03

YANBU

And he didn't have to be so rude. If he was going to be an arse about it, why didn't he just smile and nod? My dad knocks like a loon too. Very annoying.

TopCuppa Wed 15-Aug-12 19:46:17

Not a postman but I once had a couple of men looking for scrap metal bang really loudly on my door then knock on my living room window! Really made me jump to be honest, was feeding my baby twins in there at the time so was very pissed off.

TopCuppa Wed 15-Aug-12 19:46:43

Oh and YANBU

NetworkGuy Wed 15-Aug-12 19:47:37

Spuddy - fairly common for packages to be separately delivered, at least it seems to be here. Parcelforce came about 10:00 today with another iMac and the postman (letters) came after 14:00 (even later than they usually appear).

Have cancelled Lovefilm as I didn't always get to view the DVDs and have it back in the post the same day, which used to be possible when the DVDs arrived before 10:00 where I used to live (and postbox was just across the road!)

NewlyMintedPeasant Wed 15-Aug-12 19:51:20

I think my postman relishes parcels. He's always earlier, as in 7am rather than 11am, and hammers down the door like a man posessed. I find it odd as it's the same guy, plus the entire door is single pane glass.

NetworkGuy Wed 15-Aug-12 19:52:43

Bunbaker wrote "Postmen just don't have time to fanny around"

Agreed, but there have been plenty who seem to be walking away within 10 seconds of knocking, and get arsey when you open the door and they are half way down the next person's path!

If the RM has gone 'too far' then it is up the UCW (or whichever union is involved) to put forward some study and get more management out on the streets to teach them what it is like, not for postmen/women to get angry with the recipients... after all, it isn't our choice that they happen to be in a strop that day or every day, the way it seems with some !

SmellsLikeWhiteSpirit Wed 15-Aug-12 19:54:11

This bugs me too as it scares my cats actually. Family turning up all excited is nice but the pressing the bell for ages pees me right off

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 20:00:06

Well at least he didn't just walk right in, i've read threads on here where people have got out of the shower to find their parcel in their house! shock

Agree smellslike in my old house when i had a cat, if he was on my lap and there was a loud knock/buzz, i would have bloody claw marks in my thigh!

redyam Wed 15-Aug-12 20:16:26

YABU

Postmen get 100 times more complaints about 'I was in and he didn't leave a card'. 'Posties never knocked or rung the bell'. When the reality of the situation is that the doorbell doesn't work, they are vacuuming, listened to loud music... The list goes on.

Postmen NEED to knock loud.

usualsuspect Wed 15-Aug-12 20:18:36

YABU I bet they get fed up with people moaning that they never heard them knock.

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 20:24:38

i have never heard people complain they never heard them knock. I didn't realise that was common.

lovebunny Wed 15-Aug-12 20:27:04

in your situation, o p, i would have opened the stairs window, leaned out looking down on the person at the door, and demanded aggressively 'do i owe you money? do i? how dare you knock like that at my door?'

nothing sets me off so much as a loud knock.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch Wed 15-Aug-12 20:35:59

YABU

Presumably he's trying to make sure you got your parcel. Git.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch Wed 15-Aug-12 20:39:53

"git" was to the postman, not to you, OP. I sounded a bit like the postman there blush

redexpat Wed 15-Aug-12 20:40:33

Get a doorbell.

TopCuppa Wed 15-Aug-12 20:41:12

Actually, thinking about it a postman once let hinmself through the side gate through to the back garden and left a parcel by patio doors. I had missed the door as had just got out of shower- he very nearly would have caught me half naked!

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 20:45:06

Whoever amazon use usually just chuck my books two doors down over their side gate, preferably when it's raining. Then when i check my order 2 days later it says it's been delivered but 'left in my porch' (which i don't have). Neighbours never use their alley so i have had parcels discovered 3 months later.

NetworkGuy Wed 15-Aug-12 21:47:04

Time to add a porch grin

Sorry, couldn't resist (but it might come in handy if you are having to get door key out, while holding your forthcoming child, and it is raining hard).

ISpyPlumPie Wed 15-Aug-12 21:54:27

YANBU - one of my pet hates is over-zealous knockers. One of the worst offenders is our window cleaner, or more accurately his gf who he sends to collect the money. We have a perfectly functioning doorbell but she insists on wrapping loudly on the (allegedly) just-cleaned window. I have said in an admittidely totally PA manner "the doorbell does work" on more than one occasion, alas to no avail.

Spuddybean Wed 15-Aug-12 22:10:21

No room for a porch network as i said our front door opens straight onto the street. Which is shit really for noise and parking issues.

Dollydowser Wed 15-Aug-12 22:18:55

YANBU. Recently my doorbell went at the same time as loud knocking, it scared me as it sounded so urgent. It was a bloody chugger, I gave him an earful and he said it was because where he was from doorbells didn't work!

naturalbaby Wed 15-Aug-12 22:19:11

we had a porch fitted last year, now half the post gets dumped on the doorstep - right under the letter box.

AmberLeaf Wed 15-Aug-12 22:27:52

Think YABU.

Maybe what you said to him initially sounded ruder than you thought?

He's just doing his job.

icecold Wed 15-Aug-12 22:49:12

What's a chugger?

AmberLeaf Wed 15-Aug-12 23:11:25

Chugger = charity mugger. You know those annoying drama students that harrass you on the street and sometimes at home for your bank details and a monthly donation to xxxxx charity.

NameChangeGalore Wed 15-Aug-12 23:14:31

YABU. How about he taps the door with his pinky next time, would that be low enough for you? Or maybe he should get a pin and drop that infront of your door.

Bunbaker Thu 16-Aug-12 07:37:43

I expect this delivery man reads the threads on MN from those of you who say they never answer the door if someone knocks. I am always astonished by the number of people who don't answer a knock or ring of the doorbell.

Spuddybean Thu 16-Aug-12 09:17:50

Ha namechange because that really is the only alternative. You can either shake the foundations of a house and terrify the inhabitants or tickle the door with your pinky, no happy medium. ;)

bunbaker i answer the door to everyone but the mad charity collection lady who puts an envelope in the door then waits for me to return home from work, (i just get upstairs to change) then she knocks on the door (repeatedly because she has seen me go in, so she know's i'm there!). Every time i have answered it she seems most indignant that filling the daily envelope hasn't been my immediate priority after work. DP sometimes scoops up the envelope with all the takeaway ads and puts it in the recycling, and she gets really angry if we don't still have it - most bizarre.

TudorJess Wed 12-Sep-12 09:56:39

If the postman swore after I'd asked them a simple question I would report them.

DinosaursOnASpaceship Wed 12-Sep-12 10:24:24

My postman did this once. It was about 9am but I had a newborn and had been up all night, he'd finally fallen asleep about half an hour before and I had just drifted off when the door banged really loudly. The baby howled, I burst into tears and trudged off with screaming baby to answer the door. Postman was very apologetic, even though I hadn't said anything to him (I must have looked a state) and then came back 2 hours later, knocked quietly and walked away. I opened the door to find a McDonald's hot chocolate and dairy milk on the door step grin

2rebecca Wed 12-Sep-12 10:26:39

Our door is very solid with no knocker, we have a bell though and I hate people who ring the bell for either a long period or press it every couple of seconds. Just ring the bell briefly and then wait.
Doors without bells are a pain and I do tend to knock hard on them as the person may be upstairs in the bathroom with a shower on, where as bells usually have a speaker upstairs as well as downstairs. 10 bangs is excessive though.

EdMcDunnough Wed 12-Sep-12 10:29:37

Yes I have this from a few people, some delivery drivers do it a lot.

Others are much more normal. Plus we have a buzzer. Some people use both.

I actually screamed the other night at 9pm and it was only a pizza man who had got the number wrong smile He was very apologetic - don't know if he heard blush

EdMcDunnough Wed 12-Sep-12 10:30:34

When I have a small baby in the house I tend to make a sign to sellotape to the door, asking people to knock quietly. That seems to work.

TudorJess Wed 12-Sep-12 10:37:58

That's lovely Dinosaurs

YABU

If I was a postman that is how I would knock.
I would want to make sure I was heard and not risk the person missing their parcel.

He hasn't got time to do 'three light taps....listen for 10 seconds....3 harder bangs....listen for 10 seconds....5 very hard bangs....listen for 10 seconds' at every house. Just on the off chance a heavily pregnant woman eating her cornflakes gets spooked.

However AFTER I had a baby I had a sign I would put on the outer door saying "do not knock, baby sleeping. Postman please leave parcel behind the bins". Obviously depends where you live.

MummyPig24 Wed 12-Sep-12 11:25:59

Delivery people/postmen always knock really loudly, scares the crap out of me and more often than not wakes up napping dd. YANBU.

sugarice Wed 12-Sep-12 11:28:34

Does anyone know if Spuddy has had her baby yet smile

SooticaTheWitchesCat Wed 12-Sep-12 11:29:32

YANBU I really hate it when people knock madly and it makes me jump. Sometimes they ring for ages on the bell, which is really loud anyway and also hammer like mad at the door knocker. Once it was so bad it not only made me jump but set my DD off screaming. I was mad by the time I got to the door! The man could obvioulsy see how mad too and could see my DD crying so he did apologise.

cheekybarsteward Wed 12-Sep-12 13:45:42

I thought the postman always knocked twice? grin

BeauNeidel Wed 12-Sep-12 13:56:00

Delivery people knock loudly and for a long time because if you are in the shower you will get annoyed that you are in and they didn't wait for you to open the door!

YABU, sometimes you are not expecting things and they make you jump. This will also happen when your baby arrives. You need to let it go.

Troy27 Thu 17-Apr-14 10:33:22

I put up with the postwomen banging on my glass door and ringing the door bell at the same time?I told her that the bell is working yet 2 weeks later she did exactly the same thing? I asked why she had done this again? the reply was `she` can not hear the bell outside? `Ho` i thought, silly me the bell is to tell the postwomen she is ringing the bell and there`s me thinking it was to tell me someone is at my front door!!!.
There is a difference between knocking on a door and thumping on a door and that`s the problem.
This post person was looking for an excuse and by her red face (with temper) she obviously hated being told off.

AnotherSpinningFuckingRainbow Thu 17-Apr-14 10:34:34

How many were there?

Perfectlypurple Thu 17-Apr-14 10:41:55

Another zombie thread! This is 18 months old

PigletJohn Thu 17-Apr-14 10:49:14

'how am i supposed to knock then'

Does that mean you haven't got a doorbell?

chipshop Thu 17-Apr-14 11:27:59

I love our postie knocking loudly, which he certainly does. It's usually at 7am when we're in bed. He even manages to wake DP up (no mean feat) which means he goes down instead of me. And I'd much rather a loud knock than a trip to the delivery office.

So I guess they can't win...

Nicola19 Thu 17-Apr-14 13:47:54

When DDs were babies I hated all unexpected door knockers and popped a sign up on the front door saying 'please shhhhh, baby sleeping.' It worked pretty well.

Koothrapanties Thu 17-Apr-14 13:49:35

YANBU. Ours rams on the door with his fist. He has woken the baby repeatedly and scared the life out of me. He isn't the most friendly of blokes anyway but this really pisses me off.

Koothrapanties Thu 17-Apr-14 13:50:44

Balls zombie thread.

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