to ask what's soooo wrong with netmums?

(301 Posts)
sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:13:33

noticed a lot of derogatory remarks about them.
what have they done?

whoisthefatherthen Tue 10-Jul-12 16:14:18


Tickers for a start.

I dont think we're allowed to swear on there!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck that wink

Ithinkitsjustme Tue 10-Jul-12 16:15:21

Ohhh, that's a ocan of worms that you don't want to open grin from what I can gather, their crime is simple, they prefer a different page!!! shock

katykuns Tue 10-Jul-12 16:17:19

If you swear on there, pretty sure its replaced with stars... kinda pathetic considering we are grown adults hmm

PenisVanLesbian Tue 10-Jul-12 16:17:49

Other than being a euphemism-ridden, pink and sparkly ticker festooned, non-swearing, over-moderated, hun'n'bubz filled pastel monstrosity with a baby names section that will have you sniggering till next tuesday?

Nothing at all.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:19:21

i innocently asked on my post natal thread and was dared to ask!


usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 16:20:21

Theres nothing wrong with netmums, it's just a different website.

from Betty (41) and DH (43) and DS (9)

I think thats what a ticker is.....

as I said that hmm

ooh, it wouldnt let me do the stars, lol

mysterygray Tue 10-Jul-12 16:21:22

Babycentre is similarly awful. Both places are over moderated, over-sparkly, ticker, hun and 'signature' infested.
Bubs and LOs instead of DC. Text talk as punctuation.


sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:21:35

penisvanlesbian ok, that gives me a good idea why!

MyMelody Tue 10-Jul-12 16:21:39

If you've ever tried to look at the site it is completely nonsensical, lots of text speak and huge pictures everywhere and vom inducing mottos and suchlike at the end of every post, the sites a complete monstrosity!

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 16:22:24


Your bubba <boak> your rules, hun xxxxx
Happy mum, happy baby/bubz/bubba, hun xxxx
<passive aggressive jibe followed by a smiley face> Hun

Need I say more?

KellyElly Tue 10-Jul-12 16:26:12

I go on both but I come on here more. The Serious Stuff forum in their coffee house is really good and was helpful to me in a particular situation.

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Tue 10-Jul-12 16:28:47

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LentillyFart Tue 10-Jul-12 16:29:17

Hun. Hunnie. Several variations thereof. The use of 'ur' instead of 'your'. Lots of hideous textspeak. Glitter. Sparkly shit. Tickers - who honestly gives a half baked crumbly crap how long it is/was since your precious hub/bub/wub scratched their arse!
And you can't fucking swear. What is life without cursing? grin

SucksToBeMe Tue 10-Jul-12 16:29:47

NM seems a bit "Jeremy Kyle" MN is a bit more "kirstie Allsopp'


I said it before and got flamed but I like the tickers!


Hubby, babes, hun and text speak are not good though

germyrabbit Tue 10-Jul-12 16:30:57

nothing is wrong with it, in some ways it is superior to mumsnet

also over the last couple of years i am sure most news mnetters are ex netmums

MrsBovary Tue 10-Jul-12 16:31:10

"NM seems a bit "Jeremy Kyle" MN is a bit more "kirstie Allsopp'"

Yes, definitely. grin

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Dprince Tue 10-Jul-12 16:31:49

Its a lot heavy moderated and 'fluffy' over there.
Its doesn't let you swear. Although another popular parenting website replaces swearing with stars and then steals all the grammar from your post. I don't get why
A, swearing isn't allowed
B, a suitable punishment for swearing is losing your grammar rights.

pinkyredrose Tue 10-Jul-12 16:32:21

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

pinkyredrose Tue 10-Jul-12 16:32:37

IME anyway.

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 16:33:07

if you have to ask, then it's worse than you thought.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 16:33:19


<snaffles biscuits and watches>

LentillyFart Tue 10-Jul-12 16:33:57

nothing is wrong with it, in some ways it is superior to mumsnet

Ok. Against my better judgement..............let's hear it then?

Hi hun. (((hugs))) and Fairy Sprinkles.
My beautiful baby boy is 5 yrs, 3 months and 13 days old today. Happy Birthday Munchkin xxxxxx

Nuff said.

HecateHarshPants Tue 10-Jul-12 16:34:31

Nothing's wrong with them.

nothing at all.

It's just a different style.

Viviennemary Tue 10-Jul-12 16:35:10

This thread made me smile. That's an achievement anyway. grin

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 10-Jul-12 16:37:38

Personally it's not for me.
But different strokes for different folks, really.
They don't like MN much either.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 16:37:48

Cos they're cunting dull with no fucking bum sex or wank sock threads... And they'd never allow shitty cotton buds.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 16:38:33

the OP is always right and should ignore all RL people who say otherwise (including all HCPs, teachers, concerned friends, social workers..)

Don't ask a qustion if you want an answer, only ask to be told how in the right you are and you know best cause you're the mummy

ThePathanKhansWitch Tue 10-Jul-12 16:39:15

I lack the ability to not be distracted by the tickers.

Bit harsh Cupsof.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:39:32

i was told to duck and expect a flaming- in reality i have nearly wet myself laughing- esp lentily and dprince

i was getting my off ready. wink

it's also cleared up why everyone says unmumsnetty hugs.

<off to check out this fairy princess land>

my favourite posters are anyfucker and solidbrass

i think i will hate netmums grin

IMeMine Tue 10-Jul-12 16:39:56

I tried reading a couple of threads once on netmums and very quickly lost the will to live.

YouOldSlag Tue 10-Jul-12 16:39:57

*Other than being a euphemism-ridden, pink and sparkly ticker festooned, non-swearing, over-moderated, hun'n'bubz filled pastel monstrosity with a baby names section that will have you sniggering till next tuesday?

Nothing at all.*

I'm with Penis.

Pascha Tue 10-Jul-12 16:40:16

The people on Mumsnet are all wankers too of course.

There's nothing wrong with Netmums, there's a fairly large crossover I suspect. It just caters for a different cross-section of people.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:41:06

why didnt my four stars in a line work- for fuck off?

is mumsnet trying so hard to be anti netmums that we're not even allowed stars? hmm

YouOldSlag Tue 10-Jul-12 16:42:19

I can't stand the way you're trying to read at thread on netmums and all the tickers are animated and winking at you and smiling and the little emoticons keep pulling faces. It put me right off.

corlan Tue 10-Jul-12 16:42:50

You know the kind of woman who's not very bright but has a strongly held opinion on every bleeding subject and has to go on about it loudly and at length - well that's Netmums.

Actually, hang on a minute, maybe that's Mumsnet as well.

Anyhoo, you can swear on Mumsnet and that's what makes us cool!

IMeMine Tue 10-Jul-12 16:43:57

I also love that mumsnet is full of strong, intelligent women (and men!) with opinions and all that jazz. Also can have me wetting myself laughing one moment and crying genuine tears the next. The support that is often offered on here restores my faith in hunman nature.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:44:39



IMeMine Tue 10-Jul-12 16:44:43

Er, human, obviously

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 16:45:00

I like that on MN people disagree with you and tell you you are being UR before you trot off and make a tit out of yourself in RL

Pascha Tue 10-Jul-12 16:45:48

The stars thing is just a quirk of formatting because they are used in another function here (to bold something). You can do 3 stars which gives < * >, or 5 stars which gives < * > but for some reason 4 stars gives < >

Hmm, must remember to use that...

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Tue 10-Jul-12 16:46:34

Oh yes. Wankers are everywhere not just on Netmums but what's great about Mumsnet is we can say wankers as much as we want.
On Netmums you can't.
Swearing makes us cool.

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 16:47:10

Netmums would be fine, except they keep banning people shock. I have no idea why [baffled].

I suppose the swearing might explain it. And the fact that I'm an opinionated cunt person.

And I'm generally not very nice unless people deserve it.

<sniggers slightly at hun-man grin>

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 16:47:42



Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 16:48:14

Nope four stars there. Not getting this confused

Pascha Tue 10-Jul-12 16:49:48

You have to leave a space between the <>, Maryz

beatofthedrum Tue 10-Jul-12 16:50:20

You can spot netmums in RL oh so easily - they are easily identifiable at every toddler group with their 'mum knows best' helpful advice (most annoying and unhelpful parenting phrase I have ever heard) and endless pet names for...everything.

ScrambledSmegs Tue 10-Jul-12 16:51:46

Nothing's wrong with it per se*. It's a very different place to MN and some people like that, some (me included) don't.

I did join ages ago, but have never posted. For one thing I get migraines and found that all the moving smilies and flashing tickers were a bit of a problem for me!

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 16:54:25

< >


btw, you can turn off the tickers, which makes it much more readable, but the quotes inside quotes inside quotes confuse me [thick]

ScrambledSmegs Tue 10-Jul-12 16:56:49

Ah, didn't realise, thanks Maryz. I don't think I'd get much out of Netmums now though, after being on MN for a while.

I likes the swearing here. Some very creative people have really broadened my vocabulary grin

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 16:56:55

beatofdrum you've just described several mins at Pre-school.... I avoid them

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 16:58:49

Yup, I particularly like wankbadger - I wonder would that get through the nm swear filter grin

paradisechick Tue 10-Jul-12 16:59:31

I'm on both. The tickers aren't so bad and not mandatory. I don't have one but they can be handy in some ways.

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 17:00:04

I quite like the NM smilies TBH.

Pascha Tue 10-Jul-12 17:01:08

Dunno. You can't actually do anything useful with it.

Netmums are better for local listings and the for sale boards.
Mumsnet is better for intelligent debate
Netmums is prettier (if you like that sort of thing)
Mumsnet is much easier on the eyes (if you like that sort of thing)
Netmums doesn't crash every 5 minutes (big one, that)
Mumsnet... well, we have much better usernames don't we?

You use your name
The site is hard to navigate
Theres too much text speak
Theres too much colour

Pandemoniaa Tue 10-Jul-12 17:01:53

NM gives me a migraine. And I don't actually get migraines.

But if NM didn't exist then where would the proud parents of Jayden, Princess Lala, n ickle Bexhill go to hang wiv da mumzies? Best that they have a Pink n Glittery home of their own or they'd all be over here telling us we were sweary bitches. Which never ends fucking well, does it?

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 17:05:09

I think you might some parents of Jaydens on MN. we don't all have Cuthburts and Ethels.

Northernexile Tue 10-Jul-12 17:05:39

Just had a look at NetMums 'Hot Topics' section and read a few posts, purely for research purposes you understand. I couldn't ever face going back again because the spelling and grammar burnt my retinas. I'm a right snob, me.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 17:09:36

i would miss the best advice given on mumsnet-if you couldnt swear- ' tell them to fuck the fuck off, and when they get there, tell them to fuck off some more'

lots of little gems like that on here! grin

flatpackhamster Tue 10-Jul-12 17:11:50

Netmums is more Daily Mail. Mumsnet is very very definitely Guardian, which as we all know, is the Daily Mail for people who think they're too good to read the Daily Mail.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 17:12:17

Wtaf with the fucking Jayden bashing again?
Change the record why don't you?

Netmums is bad because it is very heavily moderated but overtly racist, homophobic, sexist and disabilist posts are allowed to stand
Passive agressive bullying is endemic and the level of debate is restricted to say the least.

It has it's place and for some women it is a much safer place than Mzn.
Put personally I think it is a place of vileness.
Although I have met some lovely women on there.

I found it bad for my state of mind tbh.
It's like walking into the comments section of the daily mail and being beaten around the head with a copy of take a break.

They will be started a thread as we speak and posters will be 'actually crying as I write this' and posting the smilies to prove it.

Pandemoniaa Tue 10-Jul-12 17:12:51

I must have been distracted by the need to take a call from Cuthbert. I meant J-Den, of course.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 17:13:42

I love tickers btw.
They help me remember how old the kids are

RustyBear Tue 10-Jul-12 17:13:51

'For those who like that sort of thing,' said Miss Brodie, 'that is the sort of thing they like'

Always comes to mind when I see a thread like this....

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 17:15:50

"It's like walking into the comments section of the daily mail and being beaten around the head with a copy of take a break."

yeah that! grin

modifiedmum Tue 10-Jul-12 17:18:12

I don't really like the forums on netmums. I've used some of the site tho, finding a childminder bit on there is quite handy as are the local meet a mum things but cannot stand the forums on there personally.

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 17:19:03

What MrsDeVere said.

And this

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 17:21:41

This NM v MN bollocks is a bit silly if you ask me.

Don't like it, don't use it.

akaemmafrost Tue 10-Jul-12 17:21:51

<<sprints over to the baby names thread on the advice of penisvanlesbian>>

Netmums is rubbish though. No problems get solved, everyone just hugs and huns till the cows come home. Boring as shite!

albertswearengen Tue 10-Jul-12 17:23:05

My sister and SIL are both netmumers. Explains a lot really.

Judging by venom one of them refers to mumsnet I suspect she may have been flamed on here for being a complete fud and therefore retreated to the happy clappys on Netmums.

I do believe you can get away with swearing on the tickers.

I can't understand the txt spk. I'm 20-fucking-3 and cannot understand text speak, weird. But that, and swearing, and the fact that if you say something one of them doesn't like then they gang up on you with their nonsensical arguments and bullshit excuses even when you're actually trying to be helpful like that muppet and her holiday blog a short while ago.

I've tried to post on NM, I really have, but I hate the mumsyness and hugs of it all, I'd rather be given a straight and honest answer than be told something they think I want to hear. Also, their attitude towards nannies posting is appalling, I was told that my opinion is invalid as I don't have a child myself hmm Never mind that the thread was about something I'm working closely with then ey?

The lack of capitalisation bugs me too. And lo for little one. I think it says Io, which is a moon of Jupiter. And the whole moderation thing, I mean really? You can't trust a bunch of women to chat and be frank, they have to moderate it all? Pft. Fuck that!

And that ^ (again) of course, no swearing! How silly.

Oh, and comments like this: "most guys find males working in a nursery environment a little odd." on a thread written by a woman who doesn't want her daughter to be changed by a male nursery worker.

That pisses me off to no fucking end, sexist fucks. Probably would be the first to cry discrimination when they don't get what they want too I'm sure.

If that was said on here the person who said it would be shot down in flames, but people are agreeing with that stance on there!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 17:51:42

You cannot EVER talk about rape on there without posters jumping in (within the first two-three posts) with how often women make up rape and how many men get raped.
Ditto domestic violence.

There is a hell of a lot of victim blaming, particularly when it comes to child victims of rape. A LOT of 'well 12 years olds know what they are doing dont they? 'how was the poor man supposed to know that she was only 11, she had make up on'

I cant forgive that shit.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 17:57:09

oh and on the local noticeboards LOTS of posts about people with learning disabilities "hanging around" or saying hello to their child!

the paedo bastards! how dare they be outside in the community!

SausageSmuggler Tue 10-Jul-12 17:58:53

I wonder how long it'll be before they start a thread about this thread?

I joined for the nearly new boards which are pretty good but the text speak drives me up the wall!

Wigglewoo Tue 10-Jul-12 17:59:08

I like both sites and lurk and post on both... But I do find mumsnet much more hardline, if I want a no nonsense reply then I know where to come!

But I like the fact health visitors etc regularly reply on the babies and parenting forums on netmums... Its quite different in that respect. (Unless I am missing something and that happens here!!)

Dprince Tue 10-Jul-12 18:07:53

Wiggle are they actually health professionals or just say they are. Cause there is a few of the latter on bounty, Talk shit and then challenged and cry bullying. One 'hv' said it was perfectly acceptable to give you new born alcohol for teething, said baby was 2 weeks old and mum wasn't sure it was teething. But this poster said even if it wasn't 'it will be ok because baby will sleep anyway'.
Then told everybody that vaccinating their child definitely would 'give them special needs' despite posting another thread about how she had vaccinated her first 'lo'.
My point is don't always believe that someone does the job they say. Said poster also asked 'whats so great about breastfeeding, seems pointless to me.'

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 18:08:16

God no! I hate the way they reply to 'concerns' on NM.
They repeat all of what the poster has said in some horrible 'I have done a counselling course' way.

And they allow other posters to give 'advice' like 'Dnt stop fighting for your bubba. You can get him back, u need to get a lawyer hun'
when some poor woman posts that an adoption order has been made after 3 years of SS intervention.

That would be ok if they didnt delete posts about Calpol for 'giving unqualified medical advice'

HaveALittleFaith Tue 10-Jul-12 18:10:05

<scatters babydust around and then runs away>

5madthings Tue 10-Jul-12 18:10:11

it has tickers [boak]

and they dont allow swearing so i would be crap on there, i do like to swear!

and everything mrsdevere has said, i go on there and read it and weep tbh, plus i also cant cope with the txt speak.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:11:27

there's loads of HVs and MWs and Nurses and doctors on MN
but they don't barge in with "IM A NURSE AND YOU HAVE X" because real HCPs know that you can't and shouldn't diagnose someone just from a post on a forum!

and they don't use it to win arguments either

but if you need em they are here

LucieMay Tue 10-Jul-12 18:13:21

I didn't really know what the difference was and just randomly chose mumsnet to register at first. I am glad I did now because I cannot bare text speak and non swearing. The only difference to the boards here is that I wish we had avatars purely because I post on a couple of other forums (non-parenting) with avatars and it makes it soooo much easier to differentiate between posters when skim reading (you get to recognise the avatars pretty quickly by sight). It takes a lot more effort for lazy me to read each username beside a post.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 18:14:01

A woman posted a desperate plea for some information about her child's rare condition. she wanted advice and support.

The Parent Supporter posted?

A fucking link to wikipeadia.


OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 18:18:19

A young woman posted that she was frightened because she had just found out that it was dangerous to give solids to her baby. Her baby was very young, a few weeks old.
The poor girl was genuinely ignorant about weaning. She was asking what she should do.

A few people posted some sensible and non judgmental advice about stopping and not to worry (mind you, that might not have happened on here, she would probably had got a pasting) but then some twat come on and said 'NO babe you mustnt stop feeding him now you have started. ITS REALLY DANGEROUS to stop giving him solids now. You have to keep on doing it'

So some of us naturally went Whaaaa?

All went menkle. Lots of accusations of bullying and posters proclaiming their medical credentials (yeah right love).

Posts getting deleted but the one telling the mother to keep feeding her newborn solids was left standing.

THAT is why I hate nuthunz.

5madthings Tue 10-Jul-12 18:18:52

they dont use it to win arguments either i would say thats not totally true, given a home birht thread the other day had an anaesthatist (sp) who was quite clear about the fact that as her job involved child birth she was right and all the studies etc were wrong.

oh i do love links to wikipedia!

i have noticed that if you or do any kind of 'attachment' parenting (hate that term but using it so you know what i mean!) that you are shouted down on there. or at least that is what i saw in the few threads i have read here and there, particularly about little babies still needing night feeds, lots of leave them to cry and if you suggest different then you are an attachment parent, lentil weavery type. at least on here you do get both sides of the coin, heavily debated at times but not so on there.

It's sparkly, you can't say fuck and if you have an opinion you get beaten with hunz and shitty grammer.

I was told it wasn't the best place for me by the moderators because I tried to debate.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 18:20:38

habitual moaning about huns and netmums is peurile and oppositional
no site is better than other.just dofferent and both sites have different nuances and appeal
mn can be full of right cunts, just as netmums can - such is online life

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:22:27

they certainly do use it on the ones I've read! - they mostly sound like they're hugely exaggerating and the truth is prob more likely that they VISITED a hospital once, or their mum works in the gift shop so they know it all

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:25:36

I think its okay to declare it like that though on the threads about research etc

I meant it like 3 posts down when they go "yer well actually I'm a nurse actually, so I know!"

TuftyFinch Tue 10-Jul-12 18:26:03

I think the main difference is that 90% of the members of Netmums eat apple pie as their favourite pudding. The same survey, of Mumsnet members had apple at 23%. There was no clear pudding favourite, the top two were Rhubarb Syllabub (38%) and Manchester Tart (40%).
Also, interesting fact: only 45% of the members of Netmums own a pair of wellies. MN figure was 78%. Who knew.

5madthings Tue 10-Jul-12 18:27:37

cherie i meant that it is used in mnet as well, not that its not used on nmums!

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:27:48

thing is, the cross section of people who come across NMs are prob very similar to those that come across MN

but those that STAY on each is determined by the sites moderating rules etc to a large extent so IMO it is okay to generalise about which SITE is better to use because that is about who runs it and they are run differently

IMO MN has a much wider net, NM probably starts off with a similar group but the way it is run means that all but a few similar types end up staying?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 18:28:37

They have HVs etc who are employed by NMs to give advice. They are ok (apart from the repeating things - its bloody THERE already you dont have to reflect and repeat!)
It can be a very useful site for parents who wouldnt cope with the blunter side of MN.

I was on it for years and years. I used to go on a lot then I started popping back when I was trying to avoid essays, housework etc.

But it really winds me up. I cant get past the racism and ignorance on there anymore.

So many posters are parroting what they have read in the papers or heard their OH's say without trying to think about it.

BUT there are some genuinely lovely people on there who wouldnt like it on here.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 18:29:30

<narrows eyes at Tufty>

You've been reading Chaos's spreadsheets, haven't you?

Dprince Tue 10-Jul-12 18:31:15

See at least some are verified on there. I am glad about that. Bounty seems to let anyone claim to be anything, give dangerous advice and delete this that challenge it.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 18:31:51

i dont get the opposition there's room for many sites
to cater to many needs and preferences
mn aint be all end all of forums

Tamisara Tue 10-Jul-12 18:32:16

MrsDeVere I thought I'd seen you on NM smile

I agree the parent supporters don't always give the best advice. It's like they're afraid to go against the other more 'assertive' posters.

I can't get on NM anymore. DH banned it. To be honest I don't think it helped me much (I joined there long before here).

I asked for a lot of advice from their midwives/HVs when I was pregnant last year, and knew there was something wrong. I got lots of advice about how the health care proffesionals looking after me knew what they were doing... pah!

After DD2 died, I posted a lot in the pregnancy/drop in clinic bit, whenever anyone had reduced movements in late pregnancy. I was once pasted by some young girl who disagreed with what I typed, basically reassuring the OP that everything was fine as long as she'd felt movements in the last 24 hours. When challenged she said that her midwife had told her this, and the midwife knew more than me. I wanted to rip her head off.

I don't really miss it. It was good for some things, but a lot of the time people are so 'luvvy'. The relationships board makes me laugh. Men who cheat are almost excused as "men will be men".

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 18:32:52

Oh, and none of them seem to have teenagers either hmm.

At least if they do, they are extraordinarily well-behaved because any poor sods who ask about what to do with (quite normal) teenage behaviour get either no replies, or a couple of "I wouldn't allow that"s.


5madthings Tue 10-Jul-12 18:33:03

i have only ever read it when bored, never posted.

do the hv follow official advice ie re weaning and making up formula? if so that is good i guess.

grannysbigbloomers Tue 10-Jul-12 18:39:00

There is surely only on way to solve this..........


I am still pissing my pants at the JK and Kirstie Allsopp comparison.

TuftyFinch Tue 10-Jul-12 18:41:23

Empress, it was in the MN magazine. October edition.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:48:48

but scottishmummy, to me its like saying "I don't see the point in objecting to disablist shit in the daily mail/ rape myths on facebook, because there are other newspapers, facebook groups!"

The way NM is moderated means the crap gets through to some vulnerable posters, and the posts that question it giving the thread some balance get deleted

it can be vile and dangerous

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 18:51:12

oh tosh
people complain mn is disablist/anti-benefits/too moderated/under moderated
online forums always evoke a strong reaction

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 10-Jul-12 18:52:59

Twelve hours, four minutes and seventeen seconds since my last shit......

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:53:02

My local NM board allows some very dangerous accusations and chinese rumours to fly around about individuals in the community, considering the stuff they delete y'ld think they'ld be more careful with stuff like that!

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 18:53:04

no.cherie daily mail is linked on mn daily.mnetters love dm
mnhq had a collaboration with dm to share posts,generate a column

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 18:53:29

Thanks Tufty. I'll have a look.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:55:30

okay well obviously there's a lot of posts on each so each of our experiences are gonna be a bit different

I haven't seen anything DANGEROUS on MN that wasn't dealt with and have seen shockingly dangerous stuff on NM unchallenged or moderated, with only people who challenge it getting moderated!

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 18:56:36

Do you think none of the above happens on MN?

I started off on NM blush

They can be absolutely vicious about other women, but men are generally excused 'men will be men hee hee. Hun, what can you do to make sure he doesn't cheat again, you must stay with him for the children'

One woman posted how if she had FF, then she wouldn't be able to look her children in the eye and she would have failed them at the most basic level...People agreed with her and compared FFing to child abuse, actual child abuse shock

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 18:57:57

lol,ive read some right ole keech on mn usually regards nursery of formula feeding.some v strident but rotten advice.followed by cries of links to research please
both netmums and mumsnet have their share of heidbangers. no site is better than other

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 18:58:02

Well tbh , I've seen those sort of comments on MN.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 18:59:46

"Do you think none of the above happens on MN?"

course it does but more balanced replies are allowed to level it out

there's wacky individuals everywhere

cocolepew Tue 10-Jul-12 19:00:44

There's plenty of self opinionated righteous wankers on MN as well.

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 19:00:46

that's what I mean, it has the same sort of traffic comming into it, but its what HAPPENS when these things get posted is very different on each site

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:01:17

funniest i read on mn was posters whose boobs ached for ff babies
as they are deprived of natural nutrition.apparently
and her boobs ache in pain for the weans with a bottle shoved in gob

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 19:01:21

Exactly, not everyone on MN is perfect either apart from me grin

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:03:39

Cherie youre being v blinkered and idealistic about mn
shit happens here too.stalking,huffs, flouncers, scammers, elaborate hoaxes.
and then is fwr always a sure fire melee and accusations of mistreatment

DuckingHell Tue 10-Jul-12 19:04:45

I was massively outed on NM, the fuckers linked my FB and everything.

I went on a meet up when I moved to a new area and they well and truly outed me when I dared to have an opinion.

Never ever again would I go on there.

cocolepew Tue 10-Jul-12 19:04:55

I want moving smilies. Thats whats wrong with MN IMO.

Dancing smilies would cheer everyone up.

MarysBeard Tue 10-Jul-12 19:07:40

I don't go on it as much, but I quite like it. The local section is much better than the MN one.

Number44 Tue 10-Jul-12 19:08:00

I like their local boards

I recoil from any of the advice offered. I think it's fair to say most is not based on fact

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 19:09:11

I know it does scotishmummy, but at least here you can object to something that makes you uncomfortable

MN is open to everyone, so there's all sorts incl wrong uns
same with NM
DIFFERENCE is what happens with the offensive or dangerous posts, or rather what happens to anyone who challenges them

PineappleBed Tue 10-Jul-12 19:09:19

I put "taking the mick" on there and it turned "mick" into


scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:11:30

lol cherie the evangelical mn gushing
its unnecessary and overlooks the fact that it can be blindingly good and blindingly bad
Moldies....that was some badass times

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:14:24

plenty on mn complain its not like ole days/gorn to dogs/over or under moderated
it usually depends whether their pov is upheld
thats the pleasure and pain of online yap, the strong feelings elicited

Cheriefroufrou Tue 10-Jul-12 19:14:51

how is it evangelical?
not in anyway saying its like a big fluffy family! just that a range of reponses are allowed and that gives balance!
Bad shit gets posted on both, but THEN what happens next IS different
there IS a difference, they have different rules and policies, so despite getting the same general traffic in the first place, the overall effects vary

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:18:16

youre v clearly enthused by mn ethos and dismissive of nm
neither is better.both different
the same accusations came be levelled at both sites.both can be bullying,preachy.harsh.both can be supportive,kind and funny

Superslinger Tue 10-Jul-12 19:18:23

I've never been on nmums, but it sounds horrid. What I'm outraged by is somebody's claim upthread (can't remember name) that guardian is the same as the daily mail, only for people who think they're too good for the daily mail? Surely that is a convoluted, sarcy joke? If not please, please somebody explain one comparable point between to guardian and the mail?!

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:20:01

nm isnt horrid
it different to mn
and nm doesnt link daily mail as much as mn does

paradisechick Tue 10-Jul-12 19:22:09

I think there's a much more balanced perception of the threat of kiddy snatchers over here. I must admit I died a little one day on netmums when a woman wouldn't let her twelve year old walk to school as you 'can't be too careful nowerdays'.

I suspect there are equally as nutty people here but they get called on their nuttiness. Over there you can't pull someone up on something like that without being called nasty!

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 19:22:24

guardian and mail have lot in common
hand wringing middle class
and conspiracy theory daft

SoleSource Tue 10-Jul-12 19:24:04

I do have an account 'over there'. I rarely use it. I have been on MN for a longer time. I like the 'block user' button on NM. I'd like the same here asthere are a few thick cunts here too.

toofattorun Tue 10-Jul-12 19:26:39

The layout is fucking awful.
Everyone is too fucking polite.
The website is too colourful.

Mumsnetters tell you what you NEED to hear

Nethuns tell you what you WANT to hear

Superslinger Tue 10-Jul-12 19:31:49

Hand-wringing about how to help society's most vulnerable vs. hand-wringing about best to create hatred towards society's most vulnerable... Poles apart some might say.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 19:37:19

There are LOADS of links to DM on NM. Far more than on here.
Only difference no one apologises for it.

wigglesrock Tue 10-Jul-12 19:42:28

I'm a member of both, tbh much of a muchness. Their local boards are brilliant though. I swear all the time but doesn't bother me if I go somewhere that doesn't do swearing, I don't think my right to swear trumps another sites right not to.

crazynanna Tue 10-Jul-12 20:00:58

I am on both. I am different on both.
Here....I am calmer and don't have to rant as much as when someone posts some stupid racist/disablist shiye on here,they are jumped on mainly by the majority (rightly) and order is restored.

There,when something shite is posted,you get a loooong line of posts agreeing and backing it,and I am then forced to jump in and completely lose it (2 bans..on last chance saloon).

There are some good people on there though,and they do have bum sex threads,but they actually use the word anal,and said thread is heavily moderated.

Some threads are really funny. Not long ago,there was one on why do men have skidmarks? It made my day grin
The OP said "is it because we have vaginas' we don't get them?" <snort>

Cuddler Tue 10-Jul-12 20:03:03

Netmums does have a bad reputation,my bil even said "you don't go on that netmums do you?".I was confused at the time but i can see what he meant.I have tried on a few of the mainstream parenting forums and this one definitely seems the most open minded,but is still very,very,very mainstream.

crazynanna Tue 10-Jul-12 20:03:04

Oh and MrsDeV is right,there are loads of links to the DM...usually by NMHQ hmm

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:03:24

so did netmums colloborate with dm?
mnhq had shared column with dm
caused much consternation and threats of dereg

TiggyD Tue 10-Jul-12 20:05:45

A Nethun is a My Little Pony being ridden by a Care Bear along a rainbow leaving glittery hoof prints and pony dung that sprouts flowers as soon as it's out.
A Mumsnetter is a drunken bird in an oily vest bursting into a garden centre's tea shop and calling them bastards and if anybody comes near they'll scream "Get back or I'll bite yer nipples off!"

SugarPasteGiraffe Tue 10-Jul-12 20:09:40

Have just seen someone who has a ticker for their dog, one for the baby's age, one for how long they've been together and then a final countdown one until they start trying for another baby.

All that's missing is the ticker for the housework, her next smear test and the next time she's due for a bowel movement then we're complete!

crazynanna Tue 10-Jul-12 20:10:29

sm when they (NMHQ) wish to start a "discussion of the day", they seem to 9 times out of 10 link it to the DM. I contested it one day,starting a thread saying "why do HQ keep linking to the drivvel?",and the next day they posted a topic linked to the Guardian...but the day after it was the DM again.

HQ a few months ago had a secret visit from Cameron,but I got wind and demanded to know why it was not a fair ballot on invited NMs' members,as they seemed to only invite his areselickers'.

MardyBra Tue 10-Jul-12 20:10:55

grin at Tiggy.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:12:08

mnhq dont need to do dm of day
mn posters do that anyhoo
and mnhq and dm had a joint column collaboration

Could it be a form of entertainment to use it? Ive never been bamned or deleted on here but im sure I could wangle it on there.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:14:21

hang on mn folk complain when people come here solely on wind up
going to netmums for wind up is taking the piss
and puerile

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 20:15:34

Bit sad to go on another forum to take the piss.

merryplopppins Tue 10-Jul-12 20:16:54

i must admit i ventured on nethuns last night and was reminded why i am a MNer. Also what's with all the pics of their kids on there? wrong, wrongedy wrong.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:18:33

oh isnt mn luffly
some of you are all the luffly huns you claim to despise
same as the mn mums as i see it

tedmundo Tue 10-Jul-12 20:20:09

My main problem with it is that it is such a messy, colour-laden, busy page format, that I can't actually tell what are posts and what are the signatures.

I have tried to peruse a couple of threads and swiftly given up as I was unable to decipher a single coherent conversation from it.

With respect to the politics / attitudes of the different sites .. people will surely just go to whatever suits them.

As the feathery residents of 3rd and Bird have taught us "different is good, oh yeah!"

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 20:26:21

I remember a ticker for an upcoming wedding.
It said '5 years, 3 weeks and 2 days till I become Mrs XXXXX'

Now that was one sad arse ticker.

I dont like the ovulating ones or the cervical mucus ones either.

But I have MASSIVE tickers and got reported. I had to shrink them.
Bastard ticker police.

On NM people post things like 'All Albanians are thieves' As post titles.
It can be two pages before someone says 'wtf?'

Horrible, horrible threads.

I know there are some crap ones on MNs but you get a lot of people giving the other side.

On NMs it goes like this
Most people who have blue badges are just lazy
Yeah my SIL's aunt got one because she is fat
I know my neighbour is Muslim and they all ge them as soon as they come in the country
I am sick of handicapped people getting free cars and badges. Why cant I have one? I have a three year old lil man.
Hang on - you cant get a blue badge because you are overweight and you certainly dont get one for being Muslim.

OH OH OH. I see! I FORGOT that you are NOT ALLOWED to have an opinion on NMs! ALL I was saying is what I KNOW. Excuse me!
Dont take any notice hun (hugs)
I am sick of being bullied on NMs. Now I feel like killing myself.


katykuns Tue 10-Jul-12 20:26:29

Netmums doesn't have 'Am I being unreasonable?' thread, which is enough to keep me here ;D

I have to admit that I like the tickers and emotes, but I do find the 'debate' style threads a bit tedious.

I have met a bunch of Mums on the meet-a-Mum boards and they have been lovely, and not flowery mumsy idiots hehe

I think Mumsnet attracts more intelligent people, but also people that scare the shit out of me when they don't agree with me in fact some people are really nasty

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:29:40

some of you have selective memories ive seen some ghastly threads on mn
such is internet life
all forums have heid cases and bad ass posters

LadyWidmerpool Tue 10-Jul-12 20:35:51

I think DC is just as daft as LO or bubs, personally.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:50

and people who type luffly are same as huns
absolutely no difference
incapable of coherent post

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 20:44:32

I might be wrong but I thought the DM column was done without MNHQ's permission?

I haven't found them friendly or helpful. And they don't swear.

MardyBra Tue 10-Jul-12 20:46:12

scottishmummy I agree there are bad ass posters on both sites. But the culture of two are very different and they are dealt with in different ways afaik.

dementedma Tue 10-Jul-12 21:44:40

hmmm just been on it for a peek and I see a debate aobut Fruit Shoots and Greggs Sausage rolls.......and quite honestly the baby names thread on here is far more funny.
Not seeing all these "hun" posts - were are they?

gettingeasier Tue 10-Jul-12 21:54:00

Well I had a quick look but lost the will to live trying to navigate it but will go back for another look when I am feeling patient smile

1stMrsF Tue 10-Jul-12 22:00:52

I think the problem is summed up with 2 words.

"Hun" and


Mrsjay Tue 10-Jul-12 22:10:24

I did like netmums i had a laugh although there seemed to be a lot of I am not racist but posts which had me shock and a lot of ignorance and bullying goes on and you cant swear . I didnt mind the tickers or even the sprarkles just some were ignorant , but i prefer here I dont like hun anyway so never used it but was never offended when people said it, and i have a lot of netmums friends.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 22:12:07

I think the problem is summed up with 2 words.
Luff and Luffly

Mrsjay Tue 10-Jul-12 22:12:10

and nobody on netmums talks about class

Mrsjay Tue 10-Jul-12 22:16:12

Please dont hate me though <grovels> grin I like here too

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 22:18:32

I don't hate you MrsJay <hugs>

Mrsjay Tue 10-Jul-12 22:19:49

I don't hate you MrsJay <hugs>

thanks hun luffy smile

Flooded Tue 10-Jul-12 22:21:27

I'm now trawling the baby names on netmums and finding it hilarious!! Never been on it before

Nobhead Tue 10-Jul-12 22:25:30

The threads on there make me cringe.

paradisechick Tue 10-Jul-12 22:28:49

I think the name bit here is hysterical!

Op - I like the name Susan what do you think?

2nd poster - I don't like it, how about Gertude or some other equally twee name

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 22:30:14

Why is the baby names thread on NM hilarious? confused

maras2 Tue 10-Jul-12 22:33:32

I find that all of the twinkly stuff,and pictures of poster's babies in utero a bit OTT.Especially when some poor posters are looking for help/avice following a miscarriage or stillbirth.Also there seems to be a lack of written responses compared with the amount of viewers.There's also a lot of loling and hunning which isn't very pleasant.I do browse there but come back to Mumsnet for a reality check.There are some unhappy posters over there who could do with a good dose of M'snet.

scottishmummy Tue 10-Jul-12 22:33:34

i love mn babyname threads
sure fire aggro
middle class angst clash with different name spelling

usualsuspect Tue 10-Jul-12 22:35:25

MN baby name threads are bloody awful tbh.

piprabbit Tue 10-Jul-12 22:39:53

Netmums is fab

Smiles are just an upside down rainbow!!! LoL!!!
~~thankssmilethanks Little man is 4 years 2 months 5 days old thankssmilethanks~~

(imagine the ticker is animated and sparkly for full effect)

manicinsomniac Tue 10-Jul-12 22:57:02

netmums doesn't seem to have as much traffic as mumsnet. I like things to move fast when I am bored!

Maryz Tue 10-Jul-12 23:55:47

Crazynanna and MrsDeVere, don't tell me you are both still on netmums shock.

I thought you had both been banned more times than there are tickers, and that's quite a few grin

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 23:57:33

I've just been over to the other side and am awaiting an imminent banning. I think I'd feel even more proud than getting kicked out of guide wink

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Wed 11-Jul-12 00:40:34

oi, what is wrong with the name susan?


Sunnydelight Wed 11-Jul-12 01:31:11

Oh dear lord, I just went to have a look. The colours, the moving pictures, the passive aggressive shit wrapped in "huns" as advice! I need more coffee.

EricNorthmansFangBanger Wed 11-Jul-12 01:47:30

I started out on NM's, before I ever knew MN existed blush

I got a warning for linking a support group, which was on Facebook I believe, in a thread asking for support hmm

Shortly after, there was a slagging off MN thread. Came over here for a nosey and never looked back. I must admit to still using the local board on NM for selling/buying etc.

Although I mainly lurk on here, I do find it a more supportive place and people tell it like it is. Plus we are allowed to swear grin

My (very sorted) SIL likes netmums local, I would probably use it if I lived in the UK. I like the expat community here, do NM have anything like that?

They are probably all wankers. I means, they're alll wankers here, it's just that they are my kind of wankers, so I stuck around.

Thumbwitch Wed 11-Jul-12 04:06:52

I joined NM for the local groups because MN really isn't so good at that; but never really got anywhere with NM either, although a friend of a friend made some good pals through NM (mind you, she's more sparkly-hunny-wuvbunny-babydust oriented than I am anyway - oh, and she lived nearer to central London, so that helped too).

I couldn't stay on the chat thread because they gave me a headache. Too much colour, too much movement, too few posts to a page - just ugh. I love the clean look of MN and the grin and hmm smileys are my favourites of all smileys everywhere.

I also like the light-touch moderation and being allowed to swear. I don't need to but if I want to, I want to be able to.

But - horses for courses - I know my sister would be far more at home on NM than she would here, so it has its place.
Here in Australia we have our own variety of NM - it's called BubHub grin
Haven't found an Aussie version of MN, I doubt there is one.

rarebreed Wed 11-Jul-12 07:13:59

Post: my lil 3week old bubba keeps waking up in the night, I'm thinking of giving him some steak and chips for supper, is it a good idea?

NM reply: u no ur Babbage best Hun. Never did me any harm.
MN reply: are you fucking joking?!

TandB Wed 11-Jul-12 08:23:30

There's nothing wrong with NM per se. It's just that I would personally rather goudge my own eyes out than spend more than 3 seconds looking at the glittery tickers.

I also think the MN hands-off moderation is considerably better (not perfect but better) than the heavy NM moderation. NM simply seems to remove anything that doesn't fit in with whatever the party line seems to be on any given day and any given issue. MN is also better at self-moderating. Yes, there are arseholes on both sites, but at least on MN people tell them they are arseholes.

Mrsjay Wed 11-Jul-12 08:26:04

rarebreed nobody has supper except nigel slater grin

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 08:31:29

rarebreed so you saw same post I did? (well baby was 4 weeks old when started on "proper" food and none of this baby food stuff, so the woman thought because her 23 year was ok (through sheer fucking luck IMO) she was able to advocate early weaning. I dared to say it was *** madness (bastards wont let me swear) and then had audacity to suggest that my post would probably ended up removed as there are huge fucking adverts for cow&gate so we know where the allegiance of the nm lies... ££££ I am awaiting an email banning me... <hopeful emocicon>

TandB Wed 11-Jul-12 08:34:07

I just tried to look at the NM baby names section and it crashed my computer! Clearly I have some sort of anti-NM device to protect me from pink glittery stuff.

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 11-Jul-12 11:55:49

but C&G aren't allowed to advertise formula to below 6months and baby food to below 4 months, so it would make no sense for NM to remove those on those grounds - C&G could get prosecuted for that.

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 11-Jul-12 17:13:59


no.cherie daily mail is linked on mn daily.mnetters love dm
mnhq had a collaboration with dm to share posts,generate a column

<Daily Mail siren just goes off at MN Towers>

To coin a phrase SM, that's Tosh grin! There was no collaboration with the Daily Mail - they just stole a chunk of MN content and turned it into a This Week on Mumsnet column, completely unbeknownst to us until it appeared. We asked them to stop, which they did, eventually.

Re Netmums, well it's horses for courses imho - live and let live and all that?

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Wed 11-Jul-12 18:43:11

I remember the stream of anti DM usernames.

dementedma Wed 11-Jul-12 20:01:46

Mn baby name threads are my favourite thing - Aurora or Delilah?
St John or Troilus? Oh, the dilemma.grin

YvonneMcGruder Wed 11-Jul-12 20:32:47

I'm a regular poster on there, and have been for years. I'm also a serial name changer on here and post a fair few times on here as well. grin
I'm going off Netmums now, though as even though the spelling and grammar has always been bad on there, lately it has been absolutely atrocious and half of the posts are barely even legible, it's really starting to get on my very pedantic wick! [grin}

TiggyD Wed 11-Jul-12 21:46:27

Reading the Daily Mail doesn't make you evil.

It just means you already are evil. smile

scottishmummy Wed 11-Jul-12 22:08:43

hang on wasnt the mnhq suggestion that a (then) prominent poster collaborate with dm? a bit suck it and see

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 14:38:24

My eldest son is grown up he has adhd and autism. He frequently lies to me gets into trouble ,wont pay board and lodging refuses to move out.
My ex his dad gloats over what he does and phones me to tell me and make out its all my fault ,but he wouldn't have him,too much alike.Both my ex and his brother when younger were continual in trouble.
My son cant keep a job for more than five minutes or stay on target with college courses usually gets thrown off. I have no proof but suspect that his latest course has gone this way being an adult Im not party to what's going on because his course seemed to finish well before others once he thinks he knows it all which he frequently does- but he doesnt really all in his head,he stops putting effort in. He also had a job trial yesterday that went pair shaped too after 10 days,always makes out its someone elses fault never what he has done when is he going to wise up the answer never. I cant get help with him and he wouldnt accept it any way . But when I say leave he says you cant make me Im going no where. My life is a bloody nightmare.
I wish he had never being born.Thank goodness my youngest takes after me.

This is a genuine post on NM. I responded saying that wishing your son was never born is a dreadful thing to say-only to have the mods delete my post for being unsupportive.
Why should I send (((((hugs)))) hun to some cow who wishes her SN son was never born?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 13-Jul-12 14:49:04

There was a poster on there saying that her four year old dd with severe asd was terrified of the hoover.
She said when she was naughty she used to turn it on and make her stand net to it to punish her lol.

This thread prompted me to ask nms about their policies on child protection.
I got an email saying 'I am shocked ht you say you are aprofessionsl bu you are being so unsupportive' despite repeated attempts to get them to tell me their policy they refused to answer. I got the distinct impression that the md was totally unaware of any laws or guidence.

Much as that post is horrible turbo I can at least see it being written in desperation (I would hope) .
This moher was admitting torturing her little girl and laughing about it. If ever I could ave stuck my hand through a pc careen and punched someone it would have been then.

everlong Fri 13-Jul-12 14:51:17

Those of you who are so wound up by nethuns, why not just stay off it? wink

I just couldn't be arsed winding myself up with it.

It's not for me, it's like a bad acid trip.

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 14:51:49

That's fucking horrendous sadsad ds2 is HFA and noises scare him (4 yr) and to punish him with exposure is fucking abuse sadsadr

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 14:52:52

Thanks everlong <palm to forehead emocion> I'm enlightened now. wink

everlong Fri 13-Jul-12 14:56:02


MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 15:00:18

To not go on netmums smile

Cheriefroufrou Fri 13-Jul-12 15:02:49

"Those of you who are so wound up by nethuns, why not just stay off it?"

there's nowhere else where most of the local childminders/community events/nearly news/playgroups/kids activites are posted or advertised round here so do keep an eye on the notice board but MY GOD you have to be careful so not throw your lap top out of the window at some of the biggoted "chat" that goes on there in between the family fun day ads!

everlong Fri 13-Jul-12 15:04:11

If it doesn't wind you up then ok but for those that it does then stay off it.

Yes? Or no.

Cheriefroufrou Fri 13-Jul-12 15:05:20

also my local gumtree is full of scamming wierdos and its very hard to get a genuine sale on there so NM is a necessary evil for selling stuff that you can't be arsed to bootsale

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 13-Jul-12 15:07:04

I don't go on it now everlong and the above post is one of the main reasons why.
I was trying o have a serious conversation with a company with a responsibilty for child protection and I was getting back passive agressive emails with fucking emoticons in them.

I don't want to be a member of a club with such a sloppy approach to chid welfare.
It's not a little private forum it is a large profit making company that advertises itself as a support agency.
That comes with responsibilities.
Based on my experience I feel netmums is failing to meet those responsibilities. I can only hope they have changed I theast year or so but I am not that hopeful.

Turquoisecat Fri 13-Jul-12 15:08:08

Agh argghh!

Just joined NM to see for myself. Baby names thread. Tallulah Belle or Lulabelle (but I don't think Lulabelle Belle TG). shock

Lots of support. Can only imagine the MN response to these potential names!!

Think I might stick with MN (sweary chunter)

Turquoisecat Fri 13-Jul-12 15:08:51

And sorry to anyone who has Tallulah as a DD name - I do think it's pretty, but it's not one for me.

everlong Fri 13-Jul-12 15:10:34

Good girl mrsD

Cheriefroufrou Fri 13-Jul-12 15:11:18

yeah I try not to post on NM but sometimes you read really horrendous things particularly about SN people "roaming free" in the community that I just can't help it

when you report you get told that NM doesn't see the problem

and if you do challenge it on the thread you get lynched "the OP was just tryin to look out for the kiddies, its better safe then sorry" blah blah blah then they REMEMBER you forever as someone who doesn't follow the crowd and god forbit you try to buy or sell anything on there or advertise a service etc. And all you'll have done is maybe link a police statement that they did NOT issue this warning despite it going round facebook/NM)

Cheriefroufrou Fri 13-Jul-12 15:12:19


OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 13-Jul-12 15:34:37

I got threatened with a ban for daring to discuss disabilist attitudes and the lack of moderation.
They have a mega filter but words like r*****and s* are allowed to stay.

Apparently someone might want to write Volterol r***
That was the best the mod could one up with. They were utterly resistant to filtering out offensive words even though you can't say bitch or crap.

SoleSource Fri 13-Jul-12 15:37:25

There was one Mother whom called her DD Glitter.

I'm not the typical stereotype of a MNetter (Boden, worries whether I've commited child abuse by shopping at Tesco instead of Waitrose). I'm kinda inbetween.

MN is the place to be, for me!

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 15:53:14


Well said. There are some horrible posts on there...

One I remember was a mum whose baby had 9 fractured bones-SS removed the child.
The paediatricians established that the fractures were non-accidental in nature and had investigated for OI (brittle bone disease)-the baby did not have this disease.
All of sudden she was given (((hugs)) hun and all the posters said the doctors were wrong, baby must have brittle bones.
I pointed out as a former doctor who had worked in paeds this is a diagnosis doctors do not get wrong-the type of fractures in abuse are very different from accidental ones. Also when it comes to abuse it is a series of consultant paeds and radiologists who make the diagnosis-not just one doc who may make an error.
I explained that although the mum is most likely innocent, someone violent is in contact with the child.
I was flamed down as unsupportive by all the other mums. When I pointed out I was a NON PRACTICING doc, all my posts were deleted as the mods said I was trying to give a professional opinion-which I wasn't.
No matter what disgusting remarks are posted we are all expected to give ((((hugs))) hun to you and bubkins. Makes me want to scream-as for the spelling-don't even go there....I make a few typos but some posts appear to have been written by Stevie Wonder with boxing gloves on.

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 16:41:52


I complained about one woman who said she knew someone with bipolar who she described as a "nutter". nm found this acceptable. I dont

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 16:48:19


I complained about one woman who said she knew someone with bipolar who she described as a "nutter". nm found this acceptable. I dont

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 13-Jul-12 16:52:56

My 'campaign' was sparked by a mother on the SN boards calling children with LDs the R word. It was left there. She was annoyed because she thought children with LDs shouldn't be near her kid with SNs.

I thinking remember the thread you mention. There are a lot of CP related posts and they always get the same crap responses. I emailed NMHQ several times and suggested they do something with family rights group to improve te quality of response.

Lo an behold they do that now but they never acknowledged my emails. Cheeky gits.
People still argue with the FRG replies though.
I hate all that 'fight for your bubba, they can't take him' stuff even when the adoption order has been made!
It's so sad to see.

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 17:01:14

using the r word with ld kids is disgraceful

I have been tempted to sarcastically post a thread titled "I wish my son was dead" to see how many imbeciles send me hugs.

turbo I remember the thread about the child with brittle bones and couldn't believe the attitudes towards anyone trying to offer a sensible viewpoint . It just seemed to be 'doctors are always wrong hun, you fight them' - I was hmm.

There was a thread this week about male nursery staff and many people seemed to think it's ok to not trust a man who wants to work with kids. If people have these attitudes then ok, but it needs to be balanced with other posters calling them fuckwits!

stillfeel18inside Fri 13-Jul-12 17:22:42

Let's just be honest and say we think we're cleverer than NMs...

What came first, Mumsnet or Netmums?

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 17:31:48

@english well said
@stillfeel I keep using NM like some sort of weird compulsion. I do not regard myself as an idiot academically, but I sure am a prat keep going to a site that makes my blood boil!
I wish I could get the willpower to keep away...what the hell is wrong with me?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 13-Jul-12 17:34:23

Took me years to break free....

Jins Fri 13-Jul-12 17:53:43

I only heard about it through being here. Mumsnet is far better at getting a good google position.

I went over once but people were calling themselves mummies more often than they do here. Otherwise there didn't seem to be much difference between the two blush

Fantastic fun! Just been over there to see what all the fuss is about. Read a very entertaining thread about how many tattoos is too many. One poster says her MIL has 16 shock. Thread here if you want to be smug and judgemental entertained.

turbo1 Fri 13-Jul-12 18:16:57

embarrassed to say I have a tattoo...

wigglesrock Fri 13-Jul-12 18:51:48

EnglishGirlApproximately I was on that thread too and actually thought it went a completely different way. Most people told the OP to catch herself on and she came back to say that she's visited the nursery and felt like a bit of a dick for worrying. Maybe it all went a bit aaggh after that?

wiggles the op knew she was being irrational but a couple of other people chipped in saying it was ok to think like that. One said that the men she knew thought there was something odd about male nursery staff, others were saying it was an invasion of the dd's privacy for a man to change a nappy.

ekidna Fri 13-Jul-12 20:23:16

I had a little peek at it earlier and shit I was surprised at how naff it lounge chat room or something... shiver...aghhhh...spooky

wigglesrock Fri 13-Jul-12 20:24:00

Yes, I know and other posters told them to stop being a dick or a d**k grin, in NM speak.

Cheriefroufrou Fri 13-Jul-12 20:26:30

was "better safe then sorry" used in the nursery nurse thread too?

hate that! its used as an excuse to NAME and accuse people in the community on my local one and that's completely fine with NM - ridiculous things like Oh I went into X cafe with DD and the man in there was really wierd, kept smiling at her, anyone else get a wierd feeling about him" then loads of "better safe then sorry" and later "no smoke without fire" replies and the poor man's reputation and business is suddenly under threat and NM isn't slightly bothered!

wigglesrock Fri 13-Jul-12 20:34:36

No, but "you wouldn't have this issue if you looked after your child yourself" was shock

Cheriefroufrou Fri 13-Jul-12 20:43:40

helpful hmm

olimpia Fri 13-Jul-12 20:58:58

Would Martha Stewart be a NM lady rather than MNer?
<looks up to OP for being brave enough Ti start thread>

NicholasTeakozy Fri 13-Jul-12 21:20:21

There was a thread this week about male nursery staff and many people seemed to think it's ok to not trust a man who wants to work with kids.

Things like this really get my goat. Well, they would, but I had to give it to someone on benefits. Along with my big screen telly.

NicholasTeakozy Fri 13-Jul-12 21:22:17

Dammit. Posted too soon. Have looked at NM, but it's too loud. My poor eyes.

WetAugust Fri 13-Jul-12 21:31:26

<pass the Rescue Remedy rapidly please>

I just went on NM and saw one of those animated yellow thinngs fuck another animated yellow thing in the head.

Twas full-on porn shock

turbo1 Sat 14-Jul-12 08:42:13

lol @august

I have just read a thread called "chickenpox parties". If some poor child comes down with CP, do you deliberately take your child round so they catch it early in life as this is supposed to be better-whatever that fucking means.

I am shocked that there are mums on there who are that bloody thick they would do this....where are social services when you need them?

I think the overwhelming diff is as such: MN refers to S.E.X as 'shagging' ... When in NM you 'babydance'.. cute.. hmm

I joined both and quickly decided i was more mumsnet. My experience of forums is that you usually have two 'rival' forums just like mn & nm. One more nicey nicey, one more direct. Saves lots of oooohing at swearing or ffs at the huns.

VikingLady Mon 16-Jul-12 09:38:28

I certainly don't "babydance"! Surely that is sitting on your bum on your own in the middle of the floor, jiggling slightly, whilst a bunch of big people applaud? My sex life must be hopelessly pedestrian.

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 16-Jul-12 13:06:19


hang on wasnt the mnhq suggestion that a (then) prominent poster collaborate with dm? a bit suck it and see

Yes, to be absolutely clear this is what happened.

When the Mail started doing the column This Week on Mumsnet (without our knowledge or collaboration) we held a poll to see what Mumsnetters wanted us to do. Based on those results we went back to the Mail and said we were only happy for them to have a column based on MN threads if MorningPaper (prominent mn poster who wrote Talk round up at the time) chose threads and compiled it, as folks were worried about security, crass choices of threads, not being a true and fair reflection of MN etc. The Daily Mail dropped the column.

I use NetMums [steps out of closet], I'm even on that tattoo thread that was linked. I found it before I found this place. There are some nice people there along with plenty of bell-ends. The debates section can be Ok sometimes, though I do remember being called a paedophile sympathiser for not agreeing with the Death Penalty...ho hum.

It's not that bad...I do prefer it here though. I never went in for all that monumental shit that people stick on the ends of their posts me a damn headache.

caramel1 Mon 16-Jul-12 14:51:07

I googled netmums by accident, I wanted this site. I carried on anyway because I needed somewhere to talk about my DS15. Then I googled mumsnet and prefer it on here, although only one person has replied to my MND thread, so I am assuming that not many people have had to deal with this disease lucky you lot grin
The fact that those in the know supposedly repeat what you've put seriously does my head in.

What's with not being able to mention goats and fruitshoots?

I still can't get my head round the fact that you are allowed to swear on this site.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 16-Jul-12 16:43:08

Viking grin

love it.

that's exactly what babydancing is grin

Deepvertigo Sun 22-Jul-12 12:12:23

Right one of you 'orrible lot has apparently upset one of them grin

WidowWadman Sun 22-Jul-12 12:47:59

Never been on NM but it sounds very much like pregnancyforum which I have been banned from ca 2009, so I probably won't go and have a look.

MintyMojito Sun 22-Jul-12 12:56:27

Weird, I'm just roaming around MN at the moment thinking its almost as arse kissy as BC. Less hunning though, I'll give you that.

MintyMojito Sun 22-Jul-12 12:59:36

I stick to WYOO on BC. Tried NM once but it appears that in order to post there you need to add in an apostrophe to any word ending in S.

icer Sun 22-Jul-12 13:16:03

There isnt loads of text speak on netmums. Not sure what people mean there.
I would say netmums is more for discussion, mumsnet is when you what to let some aggression out.

//whispers// I like tickers otherwise I forget how pregnant I am

LaineyStod Sun 22-Jul-12 15:10:00

I use Netmums as I couldnt work out how to use mumsnet! I know im a bit thick. Im liking the straight talking conversations on here so may have to spend a wee while getting used to this site, Although It will probably be the same topics no doubt. Ive been told im poisoning my children because I formula fed and gave my children all their Jabs. Oh and I let my kids have McDonalds and let them drink fruitshoot if they want... Same topics here?

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Sun 22-Jul-12 16:33:09

Yes we've got those, Lainey. If you really want to see MN at its best, though, have a look in Classics.

Kopite251186 Sun 22-Jul-12 19:40:43

Im a member of both, more of a lurker than a poster though. I like Netmums, but i do think there are alot of ''mother earth'' types over there.

xMissHollie Sun 22-Jul-12 20:56:46

I joined NM a while ago, then joined MN last week and this is my first post.

I must say, after reading all of this.....

I'm sticking to NM ta!


scottishmummy Sun 22-Jul-12 20:58:49

good grief if you so easily offended then yes good idea
wait til they start discussing arse sex

TheBigJessie Sun 22-Jul-12 20:59:42

Is NM like Bounty? I went there one day, and left after a couple of threads. I wouldn't trust any of the typists behind those posts that day to take care of a cactus while I was on holiday!

scottishmummy Sun 22-Jul-12 21:02:50

nm is just different
sparkly, frothy and down wiv da kids
mn is more cantankerous
both sites have there respective merits, and there's room or both to coexist

TheBigJessie Sun 22-Jul-12 21:05:31

Turbo1 we have chicken-pox party advocates on here too. That controversy is like a hot barbecue careless discarded after use. It sizzles along without anyone noticing, and then... Suddenly there's a huge fire!

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 23-Jul-12 14:39:38


different strokes an all that.

i can't understand why you're offended by the discussion, but then, you're not allowed to show different opinions on NM.

but thank you for the kisses, they were nice smile

clarebird Mon 23-Jul-12 20:33:51

Miss Hollie,,,,, I'm with you!!xx

clarebird Mon 23-Jul-12 20:34:15

Miss Hollie,,,,, I'm with you!!xx

PerryCombover Mon 23-Jul-12 20:37:20

Mn is home but the local boards are excellent on the Hun site so I sometimes doss down over there and root around for a while
Never post though

peanutMD Mon 23-Jul-12 21:05:05

I'd be quicker listing what's right about it... Erm their local listings can be okay...

Other than that it's shit (and I am far more Jeremy Vile than kirsty whatser face).

Can't stand the lack of opinions, sickening supportiveness regardless of the situation, fugly pastels and twinkly tickers detailing their PFB last shit... just generally not that interesting grin

BCBG Mon 23-Jul-12 21:16:47

Just went to take my first ever peek.... Dear God. I now know that according to her ticket Emma hasn't ovulated yet because she's on day seven, with probably another 8 to go...... please don't tell me that everyone needs to know that amount of detail? shock I want to vom. Or swear. grin

peanutMD Mon 23-Jul-12 21:54:32

Fuck it do the right thing and swear grin

SinisterBuggyMonth Mon 23-Jul-12 22:50:52

"u know your own baby, hun" x 1,000,0000

Oh yes the signiture from a random pop song to apply to dc. For my ds it would be "he walked into my life, and now he's taken over"

Hun xx

Emmielu Tue 24-Jul-12 05:34:06

I'm so very tempted to start a thread & grill them. I shall use double spaces with my swear words & capital letters highlighting them. Only here can you get away with penis wanker shit fuck dick bitch in your username. grin

mathanxiety Tue 24-Jul-12 06:21:17

Scottishmummy, I keep on expecting you to break into haiku.

arthurfowlersallotment Tue 24-Jul-12 07:46:18
EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 24-Jul-12 09:19:11

Blimey, Netmums do bumsex? Not impressed by the ramming comments.

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 24-Jul-12 11:12:51

they don't say "baby" Sinister - they say "bubs" or "lo" or "babba"

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 24-Jul-12 11:13:24

i post events on the local boards.

ArthurFowler I only read page one,

It was enough. grin

Filibear Tue 24-Jul-12 11:52:29

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

arthurfowlersallotment Tue 24-Jul-12 12:09:55

I read a recent NM post where a woman complained at the treatment her daughter had in hospital during labour.

Apparently, as her daughter was married, she should have been treated better.. confused

There is some useful stuff on there but I can't deal with the text speak and tickers.

filibear I saw that! Bad mother grin

SinisterBuggyMonth Tue 24-Jul-12 14:04:04

nickle u r so right hun

Hugs xx

peanutMD Tue 24-Jul-12 14:24:45

Arthur that's on here is it on netmums too hmm

NiniLegsInTheAir Tue 24-Jul-12 14:33:11

When my relationship first started to crumble (before I ever posted here), I went to Netmums for advice. All I got was contact from one of their counsellors offering email counselling that started at £30 per email.

No way I could afford that so I came here instead and talked to people in AIBU & Relationships. Way better, and cheaper grin

starmaker7 Tue 24-Jul-12 14:39:21

there are places with worse tickers and signatures than NM's ,I have them turned off on most sites that have them

arthurfowlersallotment Tue 24-Jul-12 17:16:23

peanut I didn't see the MN one- can't imagine it went down well

scottishmummy Tue 24-Jul-12 17:28:22

well isn't this self congratulatory and boo hiss nm
two sites are get over it
it's not obligatory to rip the piss to prove some point

peanutMD Tue 24-Jul-12 17:42:21

Arthur its under child birth - 1st time parents don't know how to link as I'm on my phone..

Filibear Tue 24-Jul-12 21:44:54

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

fili it's ok I won't tell grin

SneezySnatcher Sat 04-Aug-12 20:10:11

I ended up here after there was a thread about three years ago on NM slagging off AIBU.
Loads of people popped over and came back horrified about the swearing and 'bullying'. Honestly, there was much hand-wringing and bosom-hoiking.
I came over and stayed!

tallulahturtle Tue 23-Apr-13 21:51:18

I've never been on NM but I've just had a look and one thing that stood out is that there are an awful lot of posts where the viewing figures for the post are very high but the replies are very low. At least on here, even if people don't know what advice to give, they just offer their support rather the just lurking.

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