to think that if an HV makes the comment...

(190 Posts)
nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 11:32:53

"some of the answers you gave on the MH questionnaire make me a bit worried you might be prone to PND", that it might be worthy of a follow-up?

from someone ?

that was the comment my HV made (about 5 mins before she suggested that i should go to some of the Children's centre sessions, even though she knows i work 6 days a week, because she had to visit me in the shop hmm ) when DD had her 12 week check.

she's now 6 months (28 weeks today) and i've not heard a peep from any HV since.

WorraLiberty Mon 25-Jun-12 11:37:19

Don't you have a GP you can visit?

stmoritzsmells Mon 25-Jun-12 11:38:10

some hv's are just plain odd.

apparently if we dont all vaccinate our children, attend the local surestart centre and other toddler groups, and co sleep with babies then we may have underlying post natal depression. At least that's the feeling I get from what I've seen and heard on occasion.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 11:39:58

that's not the point, Worra, my point was that I would have expected a follow-up from an HV - otherwise why make the comment?

how would they know if i'm sitting in a corner weeping, or in total denial, or anything?

they don't know if i am suffering or not, and i could be one of those women who refuse to admit to a problem. (i am one of those with normal health problems, so...)

FeakAndWeeble Mon 25-Jun-12 11:40:17

Same happened to me, I thought about it after she'd left, decided I was just feeling a bit down; a few months later I found myself hiding from DS in the shed rocking back and forwards because I couldn't face changing his nappy. So I phoned the Dr and got some medication.

The HV can't do much for you other than advise you appear to be depressed and then leave it to you to decide whether you were just having a bad day when you saw her, or if you need medical help. In which case go and see you doctor.

Hope you're ok OP

RecursiveMoon Mon 25-Jun-12 11:40:29

nickel, visit your GP and explain your concerns. They will have a standard test that they use to assess depression, anxiety etc.

I took a list of symptoms when I went to my GP and handed it to her, so that I couldn't minimise things like I usually do.

Good luck lass.

FeakAndWeeble Mon 25-Jun-12 11:41:11

stmoritzsmells I think you and I share HVs grin

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 11:59:02

but that's the thing, I don't want to visit a GP.
I want someone to ask me if i'm okay.

I especially want the HV who raised the concern to follow it up!

and how do i know that i feel shit etc because of pnd or because of the stupid failing stupid business that keeps costing me more and more money?
Maybe the stupid decisions that have cost me more than they've saved are down to pnd and not the fact that actually, i'm just a bloody idiot who doesn't know to run a business?
is my judgement shot because of the hormones or because of the desperate need to claw back a few pence (which seems to cost about 3 times as much as it saves, but I don't find that out till afterwards, oh no)

or the fact that the stupid baby switches from whinewhinewhine to scratch(herself, not me) to eating my chin and pulling my hair?

Sandalwood Mon 25-Jun-12 12:10:17

The HCAs are so stretched round here.
When the midwife did her visits, she was way more tired than me covering extra shifts and on-calls. And the HV was way more stressed than me - she had 2 mobiles with her that kept ringing, she was all in a flap and basically threw a load of leaflets at me (PND/children's centres etc) at me before she left. I did think 'crikey, what if you do actually need support'? But I guess she can tick her 'info given' box.

Kleptronic Mon 25-Jun-12 12:13:21

Are you ok, nickel? That doesn't sound like ok to me.

You are not an idiot or stupid, you are a woman coping with a baby and a business. Either of these would be hard on its own, together, wow, if you're not ok I would be completely unsurprised.

That's a really harsh voice you're talking with there. You are doing what you can, and if you are struggling then you deserve support.

You have identified you feel like shit and you feel you can't rely on your judgement. The baby is getting on your nerves. You are worried about your business, and you want the HV to follow up concerns raised. I think you have identified you're not ok, and that is a good thing - it takes a lot to recognise when we're struggling. You need to take care of yourself, and get the HV round, or see the GP.

And have a bloody big hug from a random stranger <<HUG>>

You are ultimately responsible for your wellbeing, and need to go and se gp if youre concerned. We cant judge the situation with the hv because we dont know what happened next. What did u respond to that with? Perhaps by the end of the convo she felt confidet that u had good support/would access services/werent at risk etc. Did she give you info on how to contact a hv/where the clinics are etc?
perhaps you need to start a thread about the business problem and have a good old vent about that?

MrsMicawber Mon 25-Jun-12 12:20:39

Nickel, yes the HV should have followed up. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to your GP - but a complaint might be a good idea too.

I think the entire HV system, in London at least, needs to be rethought.

AllYouNeedIsAClickyBallpoint Mon 25-Jun-12 12:22:10

Yanbu. Of course they should be revisiting you and offering support.

You sound like you have an awful lot on your plate at the moment, and like klep said before, just looking after a baby alone is enough to deal with sometimes, but to have your own business to deal with too? Nigh on impossible some days.

Does your dh know you're feeling like this? Could he ring the HV/GP on your behalf?
Do you get any time to yourself?

I do remember 6 months being a difficult age - you're past the brand new baby stage, so no-one offers help any more, but they're still up half the night, so you're still knackered etc.

Have another <hug> from a stranger.

RecursiveMoon Mon 25-Jun-12 12:22:25

I'd skip the HV and go to see your GP instead.

We're asking how you are nickel. And it doesn't sound like you're fine. So sod the HV and go to see your GP.

nickel I don't know what to advise sad wish there was something someone could do

Oh, nickel, I'm so sorry to hear you sounding so stressed and busy. I've read your comments about your business before and if I could go buy books from you, I would! It's really rotten that it is so much stress.

I agree it is poor to make the comment and not follow up. Maybe bring it up with a GP when you see them?

meconium - I think 'you are responsible for your wellbeing' is an argument that makes perfect sense when it's a physical issue. But isn't the point about a lot of mental or emotional issues like PND that the sufferer is not always in a good position to seek help independently? I've certainly always been told this about 'ordinary' depression, that the reason we've got better at putting in checks and systems is that a very common, integral part of the illness is feeling too afraid to seek help, or feeling you're not worthy of anyone's help.

I don't think we can apply the same logic to mental issues as physical.

Someone could be coming across very coherently online, like nickel, but still be really in need of more than a throwaway comment like this. I'm not saying that is you, nickel - but it could be, so I agree it is right to worry about what the HV did.

lilypainter Mon 25-Jun-12 12:23:11

Ideally they'd follow it up, but in some areas the HV's are overstretched and struggling to get around all the routine appointments as it is.
And in our area, they've also been having some sort of reshuffle with HVs being moved from one area to another. I can imagine things falling between the cracks when that happens. Which doesn't excuse them failing to follow things up, but may explain it a little.

It may help to visit the GP and have a chat with them.

Hope you're ok.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 12:24:36

there's a chance i'm not ok.

after i typed that (because she was pulling my hair and eating my chin, even though she'd just been fed, and pulled herself off!), i placed her down on a cushion (which was quite hard given the way i felt, actually), i pulled my sign in from the pavement (and broke it a little bit), dropped it on the floor, closed the door and bolted it, turned the sign round to closed and went upstairs with DD and cried.
I've come back down now with a cup of tea and re-opened, but i still seem to be crying.
i don't think i'm depressed - i don't feel like this all the time.

i am stressed, though. i know that.

takingiteasy Mon 25-Jun-12 12:24:36

Yanbu to think there should be some sort of follow up.

It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and it might be worth having a chat with your gp.

Btw, you are not an idiot!

We are in the middle of a recession. Even impeccably-run businesses with lots of money and years of professional expertise are struggling and going bust. I know that's not the most encouraging thing (!), but it is better - and more accurrate- than blaming yourself. Give yourself a break, lovey.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 25-Jun-12 12:26:45

my questionnaire answers indicated i HAD PND and nothing happened, which is crap.

I don't think depression is about feeling this way all the time, nickel. You can feel brilliant sometimes, other times not.

Please do get to GP.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 25-Jun-12 12:27:00


Nickel - I hardly know you, only from on here, but that post with all the "stupid" in just isn't you at all - you even said "stupid baby" confused
Please phone someone - either the GP or get someone to go to the GP with you for moral support - that just doesn't sound like you at all. Even if it is "just" the stress of the business and not pnd, hearing it from the doctor will let you know for sure.

littleducks Mon 25-Jun-12 12:29:54

Maybe she should have......but y'know what I think right now you need to worry about you not her. I have seen you on countless threads and you have never sounded like this before, I second (thrid?) the suggestion of a GP visit, maybe you have PND, maybe its just a bad time, maybe its plain old regular not connected to baby depression, I don't know, your HV prob wouldn't know but hopefully your GP can start trying to find out.

Noqontrol Mon 25-Jun-12 12:29:59

Are you ok Nickel? You really don't sound ok at all. Depression can fluctuate from day to day, but it doesn't mean you don't have it. Ok the hv sounds a bit useless, and the ideas she have given you are no help at all. But the doctor can help, really, get an appointment and talk it over with him / her. Don't stay feeling like this, life's too short as it is.

Lifeissweet Mon 25-Jun-12 12:30:39

I agree that the HV should have done more. You sound a bit like I was, Nickel. You don't think you're unwell, but really you probably are. I never liked admitting to feeling bad - or acknowledging it myself. My HV dragged it out of me by asking searching questions and then waiting for me to explain what I meant and then she arranged to return in 3 days time, by which time she had called my GP and told them to expect my call. My GP then phoned me herself and arranged for me to go in, so even though I was still saying it was a lot of fuss about nothing, I felt obliged to see her.

I am so glad I did - I am on medication and feeling so much better. I hadn't even realised I wasn't before, but it must have been obvious to my HV.

She then followed up - and if I don't make it to a baby weighing session once a month, she calls to see if I'm ok.

I know many don't have the time to do all of this and I do think she's exceptional, but I would have thought that it is this sort of thing that is what the HVs are for.

Ephiny Mon 25-Jun-12 12:37:47

But surely if the HV did follow up and ask if you're OK, and you told her that you think you might not be, her advice would likely be to go to the GP. So why not just go anyway?

I agree you would expect them to have followed up, but sometimes these services are not very 'joined up', sometimes people are over-worked or incompetent, honestly I hear so many bad things about the HV system that I wonder what the point is at all! But don't use it as an excuse not to get the help you need.

Kleptronic Mon 25-Jun-12 12:40:29

Oh nickel I'm sorry you're feeling so low, are you still crying? Wish I was near your shop, I have a hundredweight of hankies.

You've said there's a chance you're not ok, and from what people are saying who have read more of your posts you don't sound to them to be ok, please phone the GP and make an appointment.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 12:42:48

"(which was quite hard given the way i felt, actually)"
that meant difficult!!

i placed her gently, which was difficult to do!!

I knew that was what you meant, I think it was obvious!

princesssmartypantss Mon 25-Jun-12 12:48:22

I am sorry you feel so horrid, if that is the right word to use, i think your hv should have ddf dine more, but as many others have said they are stretched and under resourced (bit kike being a new mum!)

I do think that someone asking if you are ok would be lovely, but i think you know the answer to that, you just need to tell someone who can help the answer, i think going to your gp is an excellent idea, and if your gp is useless, mine is keen on ibuprofen as a cure all, i would ask to see another one! You can do the edinburgh post natal questionairre online, which is what i think the hv uses, but it will only be worth doing if it means you take results to gp and say this is how i feel.

In interim, are you able to get anyone to help, even if just to make you a cup of tea and give you a hug? I would imagine that anyine who knew you were feeling like this would be glad to help?

LadyInDisguise Mon 25-Jun-12 12:49:15

nickel my experience with HV is that the follow up varies a lot from one person to the next.
One HV never ever made any follow up when I asked for an appointment with her because I was worried I had PND. She cancelled the appointment and never rang me back.
The other came to check on me a few times just because I had PND with my first (and even though I was fine with the second).

The conclusion is: some HV are crap but it doesn't mean you should stop asking for help.
I would really advise you to go and see your GP. Whether this is PND or depression because of the business and raising a child, it doesn't matter.
I did the mistake of not asking for any help at all when the HV let me down. It was a very big mistake because it then drag on for a lot longer than it needed to.
Please call your GP and take an appointment

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 12:49:27

things that don't help - friend asking me to do some copying for her. i already feel fragile today. printer has detached itself from the computer somehow, i can't work it out (friend can't hear me if i talk to her from beneath desk so keeps going "hmm?""what?" etc. that's annoying. dd falls over and bangs her head on the door, i pick her up to comfort her, friend keeps bloody talking about the printer, even though i've told her what's the problem and that i'll do her copies to pick up tomorrow. dd by this time is howling. dd prob needs a feed for comfort, friend says this then starts going on about her having whisky in her bottle. dd is still crying. i want friend just to shut up and leave me to it, but she won't stop talking!!
i feel like this, have just been sobbing etc, i haven't yet drunk my tea, and she wouldn't stop talking! dd is now feeding, and is fine, but i'm now feeling stressed again because i can't just say "please go away now, i have to care for distressed baby"

MrsMicawber Mon 25-Jun-12 12:50:57

Nickel where do you live? I'm in NW London would be happy to watch dd for an hour/send over a meal/call the GP for you/all three

I think you're very stressed. Times are tough for small businesses and the book trade is especially tricky.

I notice you're open 6 days a week. Have you looked at how much trade you do each day. Is there one specific day or 1/2 day that is so low in trade that you might as well shut then and give yourself a bit more time? If it's a regular day people will get used to it and you won't lose trade. (My mum had a gift shop for years - I know how much running a small business can suck btw)

LadyInDisguise Mon 25-Jun-12 12:52:12

Well your friend doesn't sound like a friend tbh....

Would you still call the GP?

nickel, love, you need to focus on you. Tell your friend you're having a bad patch. You sound as if you're trying to cope and help out like usual - but it's your turn to admit you need a minute.

Your mate sounds like she leans on you ... why can't you say 'please go away now'?

It sounds perfectly ok to me!

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 12:58:05

Lady - she's a bit, erm, clueless. she's nice really, she just lives in her own world (and is mostly deaf, which means she often misses meaning in what people say). she is well-meaning, which makes it worse when she's having the opposite effect!

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Mon 25-Jun-12 12:59:19

My HV said similar to me and then disappeared. I hated going to the weighing clinic as it was so open, no chance for a private word. Noone realised my dp had fucked off shortly before birth, people just assumed I had a partner and I was in no position to correct them. I struggled on and made myself seriously ill. I didn;t get help til my ds was 18 months old and I was in a real state. I'd taken the questionnaire at that appointment and was essentially left to go even crazier.
Nickel, from all I've seen of you on here, you are a 'coper'. So am I, but it doesn;t tend to serve us well. The fact you are being asked to do stuff by friends just goes to show how well you're hiding how you're really feeling. You feel you're being strong to struggle on, but actually, every time someone fails to notice how you're feeling, it chips away at you a little more.
I can't imagine how stressful it must be to have your dd in your shop with you. IS there any chance of using childcare at least a few days a week? It sounds liek you need a break, and if practically it can't be a break from work, then a break from your dd, while you may be reluctant to ask for it, might be just what you need. But in the meantime, GP, and sooner rather than later. They've heard it all before. I was a wreck when I finally went, just broke down and cried, said I wasn't coping. I was put on some truly excellent, bf-friendly meds, had CBT and am a changed person.

That's still shit, you're crying in front of her and she hasn't noticed

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:00:24

MrsMicawber - i'm in kent, I've texted DH to tell him i feel crap. he finishes work at 2, and will be coming in to make me lunch.

I don't know where it's all come from. I was fine. I started to feel a bit panicky and helpless last week, when DH was on holiday from work. Maybe it was having him available that has brought it all out - i didn't have to rely on myself all week, and now i can't shut it all away again.

sydenhamhiller Mon 25-Jun-12 13:00:38

Oh Nickel, no wonder you are upset, it's a very stressful situation you poor thing.

I am pregnant with DC3, and look back 8 years ago to after DC1, and can so easily see I was suffering with PND. I think - at the time - I figured depression was lying in bed in a darkened room. And I did get out and about to baby groups, and got dressed, and DC1 was fine, so I must be fine.

But to feel this stressed is not right, and it's not your fault: you have a lot on your plate, your hormones are probably still all over the place and sleep deprivation does not help. A lot of us on MN have been there, and that's what the support out there is for: make an appointment with the GP, and as another poster says, write it all down to prevent you minimising it when you get there.

And have you thought about contacting Homestart? It's a brilliant organisation that is set up for mums feeling like you are right now (and me 8 years ago) - someone could come, sit with you and entertain the baby for a couple hours so you can have a bath/ read a book/ sort out your printer - whatever would make you feel better. If you search for them, you should find one in your local area.

You poor thing, it is rubbish, and it can be hard to feel like you can talk about it (at least I found it hard at the time), so well done you for coming onto Mumsnet, and the next step is getting an appt with the GP. Let us all know how you get on. xx

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:02:38

Northern - i wish i could! I've spent hours in the past looking for a pattern in takings, there just isn't one! sometimes you think "ooh, mondays are crap, i could get away with opening half day, then the next 4 mondays (like today) are really busy all day!
I know i should bite the bullet and just pick a day/afternoon/morning, but i daren't miss out on trade.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:03:17

stealth - i told her i had hayfever blush

MrsMicawber Mon 25-Jun-12 13:03:28

That's a bit far away Nickel I'm sorry! Glad you H is coming home.

Ephiny Mon 25-Jun-12 13:06:08

I think you need to be blunt with the friend, and tell her you're not able to do stuff for her right now, and that you/DD need a bit of space. I know it seems a bit rude, but if she's a good friend, she'll understand. Better than not saying anything then eventually snapping at her and saying it in a nastier way.

And do see your GP, you do sound like you're struggling at the moment. Even if you're not sure whether it's PND or whether they can help or not, it's surely worth a try?

plutocrap Mon 25-Jun-12 13:09:15

PND is very insidious. I didn't think I had it with DS (now 4), but I probably did. I realised it before, I think, but it really took DD (now 6 months - Advent baby, like yours!) for me to realise how bad my first neo-natal and toddler period was. I don't know how to deal with that, though, as everyone's solution will be different, and yours no doubt is bound up with the business, which, as LRD points out, is subject to other forces.

However, that means that you shouldn't just be calling your GP, but also Business Link, and thinking about other things for the business. Apologies if you've done any of these already, but:

1) YouTube (sample "tracks" from book events in store)
2) google advertising - very targeted and good for helping to grow the non-bricks and mortar side of your business (c.f. point 5)
3) a Mumsnet book club, with discounts for those who order from you - reading notes included as an extra, in case anyone decides to cheat and order from Amazon
4) sharing premises with, for example, a sub-post office (they can't have moved in with WH Smith everywhere) or a drop-box depot (slight conflict, in that people do collect their Amazon packages from there, but on the other hand, adults know what they want, but have little idea about their children's books, or even that there are baby books, so the two kinds of shopping could well be complementary: pick something up for the DC while collecting your summer potboilers...)
5) changing premises, either downsizing, or - sorry to be so drastic - getting out of your town altogether and going for a larger, more "shoppy" sort of place, e.g. Canterbury.

Again, apologies if any of these ideas are too awful or too already-tried-that.

The summer holidays are almost here, and mothers will be desperate to get the little soandsos darlings out of the house.

I'm not a million miles from you, so will PM you.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:10:36

DD's godmother has started taking her out at lunchtime once a week for an hour. she falls asleep in the pram. so it's not too hard for her either (DD tends only ever to sleep in the pram. she used to go off if i bounced her in her chair, but that hasn't worked since about 18 weeks. she now just laughs and then tries to wriggle out. then i bounce it until she goes quiet, when i look at her, she's sitting playing with her clothes or scratching.)
the idea is it'll help me to do stuff, but what really happens is customers come in and interrupt.

like, on saturday, a school came in with a big long list of books for me to find - i started on it, dd got grizzly. i played with her, fed, changed (separate times). dh took her to play. granted, he could have disappeared with her, but we didn't think of that at the time. I haven't got the list done.
(i could be doing it now, couldn't i? blush)

I get to the stage where i just can't be bothered to do anything that requires thinking, when she's feeding (and not trying to join in on the keyboard!), and i just end up whiling away time doing unimportant stuff instead.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:17:26

ah, yes, the old "try to do stuff/events etc"
(thank you for your ideas, i've copied them and will look at them later smile )
I've been stressing also because in the course of trying to get the schools on my books to come and visit the shop/buy books/etc, I think i've discovered that they've all been ignoring my emails. I have the feeling they've gone straight to trash, but one school (worst that it's the school in my old village, that i've supported, since i moved to kent, as a person, and dealt with a lot as a shop in the past,) the new head denied all knowledge (mums at the school have also mentioned me several times since she took over).

I'm going to write them all a postal letter saying "you seem not to be getting my emails oops", and ask them to tell me their preferred method of communication.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:20:40

it's independent booksleers week next week, and i wanted to involve the schools. my first emails went out at the beginning of june, and one replied, so i followed it up after a week, two more replied. I sent out a generic "come do ibw with us" one replied.
sent out a "do you actually read these emails" and that's when i got the "who the hell are you?" replies.

Time away is important too though, isn't it? You can't spend every minute when she's asleep working, you'd get even more stressed.

You need that time to do stuff that doesn't require thinking. That's really important.

I'm not that near you, but I do have the advantage of very flexible time almost always. I'm not around tomorrow but other than that, if you wanted a spare pair of hands, I'm there.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:22:22

the problem with the changing town is that the whole point is that i want to serve my own town sad
they already feel neglected, so it wouldn't help them at all.
(and canterbury's two waterstone's has already successfully closed down a long-standing indie)

SummerRain Mon 25-Jun-12 13:29:50

Nickel, you need childcare. It cannot possibly be helpful for business to have the only staff member tired and distracted by a bored infant. This will only get worse the older she gets... How on earth will you be able to effectively deal with customers when you have a walking, tantrumming toddler who is intent on ripping the shop apart and is bored of being cooped up in the same small space day after day.

It's not good for business, it's not good for you and it's not good for her.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:29:51

thanks lrd smile

i just want her to sleep! shock
that would be a start. if she would do that, then i would be more likely to have time that i can work.

oh. a website that knows when a book isn't available would be great.

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 25-Jun-12 13:34:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I can't begin to get my mind around what it is like with a baby who won't sleep, but you are clearly doing far more than is tenable.

I hope she will get into a pattern soon.

buttonmoon78 Mon 25-Jun-12 13:38:43

Nickel I totally get where you're coming from. I too have PND and yet I'm fine a lot of the time. And people say to me 'oh but you seem fine on other threads I've seen you on'. It's called being very talented at putting on a very good front.

We set up our own company 18m ago and it's doing really well, which is one relief but I work all the hours I can, often odd hours as it's when I'm needed. We're looking into childcare currently as it's getting to the point where I can only work when 11m ds is asleep which is not enough. Are you able to claim tax credits? We are both employed by the company rather than being self employed but on a minimal amount and then claiming scant dividends. This means that we can claim tax credits inc childcare element.

Working for yourself is immensely hard especially when you have a small baby too. Please take care of yourself and get in touch if you want a chat anytime. And make that GP appt. I have.

LadySybildeChocolate Mon 25-Jun-12 13:47:11

They are mostly useless, they spend the majority of their time dealing with children who are on the child protection register. I didn't see mine at all once ds reached 6 months. I'm a single mother, and I had no one when he was a baby. I can't remember his first few years as I was knackered.

I'd pop and see your GP. Stress can do weird things to a person. When she's asleep, use the chance to blast through your lists of things to do. Don't forget to stop for a cup of tea and a few moments of nothingness. I'd come and give you a hand in your shop if I was closer, I love books.

Remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. Whatever you're doing, take your time and don't be too harsh on yourself. wine

Jenny70 Mon 25-Jun-12 13:47:24

I agree completely they should follow up. To me noticing pnd (or mental status towards it) and not following it up makes the person feel less valued.

To me if the HV is so stretched as to not be able to follow up a person at risk, their job is wasting everyone's time & money.

Imagine if councils had roadworks teams that identified potholes but no-one to fix them - we'd be outraged at the waste of money being spent.

If the HV just swans around parents, asking questions and ticking the box, but not providing support to those in need, then they should be disbanded. Better no illusion of service than a service which doesn't provide anything useful.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 13:51:18

Summer - thanks, that makes me feel more positive! wink (still, it made me laugh...)

I can't afford childcare! I can't even afford to pay the shop's bills! shock
I wish I could re-think the business (i have rethought the business several times). I want to move it further up into the town where it gets more passing trade, so that I can afford to pay a member of staff and have a couple of days off in the week.
I moan too much about the shop.
there's nothing I can do about the shop until this time next year (because of the lease)
and i'm trying to organise extra events and things, and when they go well, it makes me feel better.

I just changed her nappy and cooed over her for a while.
she's happy, i'm happy.

here's irony (that seems to be a main feature of my life atm) - she entertains herself for a few minutes, i think "oh, i'll do that printing now", i repair the printer, the computer freezes.
why does that always happen?
i can cope if "dd quiet, mummy do work", but it's always "dd fractious, mummy need to do work, dd quiet, mummy can't do work"

SummerRain Mon 25-Jun-12 14:04:13

Sorry, I know its not what you wanted to hear but it is a huge consideration.

I'm talking from personal experience, trying to function normally with a baby / toddler around is nigh on impossible and it's no wonder you're not feeling great.

Even a few days childcare a week would massively increase your productivity.

Have you considered selling more than just children's books? It sounds like you're in a small town and a children's book shop is quite a niche market, maybe too small a niche in your town? You could stick with books and sell a greater age range, or stock toys and games. What about school text books, don't know how it works over there but school books are big business here.

FeijoaVodkaPlease Mon 25-Jun-12 14:06:44

Stop eating my hugs MN, they are for Nickel who needs them.

Sorry I can't offer any practical advise, help out or be of any real use, but just wanted to give you a hug xx

LadySybildeChocolate Mon 25-Jun-12 14:07:16

There's an independent book shop where I used to live which used to have a cafe inside as well. smile It's always packed. Nothing fancy, just wraps, cake, salads and tea.

LadySybildeChocolate Mon 25-Jun-12 14:08:32

Or...what about a baby/toddler group inside your shop? smile

MidwivesDoItOnAllFours Mon 25-Jun-12 14:38:46

ah a book shop with coffee and cake. If you have nearby parking, baby changing and market yourself as baby friendly that would be a lovely place to go. Maybe do a story tell and sing session once a week or something, it doesnt have to be a fancy affair, just read and sing with your little one.

LadySybildeChocolate Mon 25-Jun-12 14:41:45

wink I'd section an area off, little people running around and cups of tea isn't a great combination. I'm fairly sure you'll need a toilet though, just one will do (possibly, you'll have to look into this). It would be lovely though. smile

I dithered about posting this comment, but I will anyway, even though it's got nothing to do, really, with your OP.

I have read quite a few of your MN posts, particularly about your shop. I have stopped - where possible - buying books for DD on Amazon, and buy them instead at a lovely independent bookshop in our town. Sometimes I buy them from a shop that isn't quite an independent bookshop but is part of a smallish chain (was an independent for a very long time, and still feels like it). Both experiences are much nicer than going to a big chain bookshop or online. I feel valued and happy there, and (here's the point) I think of you whenever I go. Even though I don't know you (though I think you may have replied to one or two threads of mine). Just because you sound nice and like you really care about your business and customers. I want to help other people trying to run a business like yours. Anyway, not at all massively relevant, but you sound like you are having a crappy time and I wanted to say something nice to you.

(Nice small chain bookshop does a loyalty card thing where if you get 10 stamps you get £5 off a book. Even though I'd have saved loads more buying the books on Amazon, I love getting the stamps - am sure it's been suggested to you but hey, it gets in suckers like me, so maybe worth suggesting again!)

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:05:28

building's too small.
I have tried to diversify a bit - i do toys and games workshop too. I get good response, but i think it's position - not enough footfall.

the cafe next door is currently changing management, which could be great - I've spoken to them, and we've discussed opening out the back yard into a little seating area, and join forces. (just got to wait for the new owners to take over...)
I've got an editorial (as part of an advertising campaign) in the local paper next month, where i'm going to be bigging up the wonderfulness of the shop.
I've started up my storytimes again (something that I only stopped because I didn't have a spare pair of hands - DH is now being forced to help on his days off grin ), and I've got one next week where a friend of mine is coming in to read the stories.
and I've got a "Where's Wally" thing going on with some of the other shops for the whole of July (must remember to write the press release!)

I think i've exhausted myself with trying to kickstart myself. That can't help, can it!

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:06:42

right! Own up!
who sent me these lovely, wonderful, smelly flowers?


It says "hang on in there lovey, this too shall pass, pom bear and the cubs"

I nearly cried again!

They're lovely, thank you very much smile [grinning from ear-to-ear]

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:07:47

everybodysang, thank you. smile

i wish I would stop moaning about it, though, i really do

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:08:14

i've got a toilet, upstairs wink

maples Mon 25-Jun-12 15:14:29

Nickel hugs to you - I think your shop sounds lovely!

One more idea - could you host a bf group? Try contacting local nct/la leche league?

Could you diversify just a little to covet books on parenting - weaning, bf etc? My old bf group was in a baby shop and I used to buy at least one book each time I went?

Have you read what mothers do? Sounds like you are doing soooo much and being very hard on yourself.


maples Mon 25-Jun-12 15:14:58

Cover not covet blush

I covet but you could cover grin

meh, I used to run my own business and I moaned about it all the bloody time, even though I loved it. I think it goes with the territory. It's massively stressful.

I hope you get some help to feel better. It is crap crap crap feeling like you're not quite right.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:24:55

i do have a few books on parenting, yes smile
(and each time I get one or myself, I buy it in for the shop if it's useful - MNHQ, I have your first year book on my shelf! grin )

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:25:33

bf group, good idea - I do have a couple of rooms upstairs that anyone can use (i have a lady who does musical bumps on a wednesday morning)

maples Mon 25-Jun-12 15:30:16

Here's another idea - could you offer mum and baby yoga? Ours is amazing grin

If you google and see if anyone local teaches this then they will probably pay to hire the space - say £30 a week for 2 hrs weekly and people may stay and buy books - I would gringrin

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:36:44

baby yoga? shock
I've never considered the idea, myself, but I'm willing to hire the room to anyone!

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 15:39:08

this eczema is driving me mad, too.

I'm convinced that everything they give her makes it worse.

I asked for a lanolin-based one because the lansinoh really worked, but she gave me e45. her skin is well scaly now, and she scratches and scratches.
she must have scratched in her pram, or when asleep, because she looks like she's been dragged over tarmac!

maples Mon 25-Jun-12 15:47:44

Sorry about eczema sad

Baby yoga is just wonderful - little songs and games for them, stretches and relaxation for mums! Perfect if it comes to you and then you can join in!

Eczema is horrid, I've had it all my life - they always apprently told my mam I'd grow out of it, but I didn't sad That said, DD had it when she was tiny, and she does seem to have grown out of it now fingers crossed
I always found that a lot of the creams made me itch more, and what works wonders for one person, just won't have any effect on the next person.
This will sound eewwww but you could try just oiling her. When I was pregnant and couldn't use any of the steroid creams, I literally used to wallow about while DH poured cooking oil over me and rubbed it in. It played havoc with the towels and sheets grin but oooo the relief! (I'm allergic to baby oil of all things found out the hard way too! so we couldn't use that)
And a lot of people find either oatmeal or rooibush (redbush tea) in the bath helps.
Don't bath her too often, water has a drying effect too confused - it's very much trial and error at first, but keep trying and you'll find something that works.

SummerRain Mon 25-Jun-12 16:19:01

Dp has eczema and finds the opposite is tru, he has to keep it really clean to keep it at bay. Ask the gp for hydrocortisone cream... It works miracles.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 16:23:17

I saidto the doctor about 8 times "should we be bathing her every day?" and the doc kept replying, yes, wash her in plain water and this bath oil then cream her up.
I hadn't been washing her every day, just around her bum when changing her, and wiping with a wet flannel every couple of days (bathed in a bath once a week). I thought that I should probably do as the doctor said - after 3 days, her skin looked very scaly and sore.
we've gone back to the flannel method (with the oil in the jug)

We had to use olive oil when she was first born, and went back to that for a while, but it just wasn't strong enough (that was when we went to the doctor the first time). they gave us diprobase then, because it looked sore - that just irritated the hell out of her, so we started the lansinoh, and that was great.
why couldn't they just have given us something like that? (not lansinoh because it's very sticky and gloopy)

I don't know whatto do, really - we've been told to give it 2 weeks (and we've got a return appt), but I don't know if i should keep going with something that just doesn't appear to be working.

Is she old enough for antihistamines? They can really help stop the itch, but obviously you need to make sure they're suitable for her to take.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Mon 25-Jun-12 16:49:41

Nickel, for the excema ask to be given Epaderm. It was the one thing that finally worked for my ds. It's almost solid in the pot, very waxy, but does the trick where other thinner creams just irritated him.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 16:51:18

dunno about anti-hs - i'll ask smile

the doctor basically said that they'll keep trying her on stuff until they find something that works.

Sandalwood Mon 25-Jun-12 16:56:32

E45 does have lanolin in it - I know because my DD reacts to lanolin and E45 makes her sore.
I'm finding Aveeno good at the moment - good for in between flare ups and keeping it at bay.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:05:35

yes, it has about 1.8% - big enough if you're allergic, not big enough for DD smile

I also signed up to

tunnocksteacakes Mon 25-Jun-12 17:08:12


rhondajean Mon 25-Jun-12 17:19:55

I don't know of she's too small for it nickel but my seven year old dd is itchy as heck and has been since birth and we have tried all sorts. She won't let me put lots of them on because she says the cream burns or itches but we found lush dream cream which is great for her, she smothers her legs in it when she's feeling bad.

It's horrible watching them scratch.

You'll can work out who I am perhaps if I said she's getting some books for her birthday??

I hope you feel better soon. Be kind to yourself.

And what about a craft group - maybe for kids? You could even maybe stock some little craft kits and then have a group in either with or without parents to make things?

Summer school holidays are long and most of us who don't have the children in full day care are looking for reasonably priced interesting things we can do with them to stop us all going bananas...

LadySybildeChocolate Mon 25-Jun-12 17:20:39

Ds used to have eczema. I found it really helped to smother him in oil when he'd just got out of the bath, then lightly pat him dry with a soft towel. Sometimes the creams are hit and miss, you have to go through a lot to find the right one.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:23:11

i can't use lush products myself (i go all itchy and runny eyes before the box is even opened- i've never been brave enough to go as far as to try it), so i wouldn't dare, but thank you for the suggestion smile

I've noted your craft idea, thanks (and hope she likes her books! grin)

buttonmoon78 Mon 25-Jun-12 17:23:16

Missed the bit about eczema.

We use doublebase 2 x daily, clobetasone ointment 2 x daily, fucidin where he's scratched himself raw 2 x daily, eurax anti-itch 1 x daily, E45 anti-itch 2 x daily and 2 x 2.5ml doses of piriton daily. Oilatum in the bath (only bath once a week, less if I can get away with it!). Yet still it drives him and me mad.

What's going on with the diet? You're still bf I think I read? Have you excluded anything from your diet? If not, it could be worth trying to get rid of dairy but it must be absolutely excluded and for 3/4 weeks to really see if it helps.

Ask for a referral to an eczema specialist. We've got an appointment for July 12th with a nurse specialist who's meant to be a miracle worker. She'd better be. Neither of us gets any sleep at night and with working during the day there's no opportunity to catch up there!

Seriously though - don't just ask for things. Shout for them. NHS resources are finite so in practice they are reserved for the people who need them most (as they should be) but the next category is those who shout loudest!

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:27:01

i can't cut out dairy shock what would i eat?! shock
seriously, though, the doctor said it's unlikely to be my diet, and didn't want me to cut anything out yet to see if the cream worked first. (i might keep an eye on it, though)

yours sounds awful sad

i sometimes feel like bathing her in wee, because at the moment, inside the nappy is the only part of her body not to be itchy and scaly.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:29:13

she's asleep !!

on me, but hey! she did initially wake when she heard the tapping, but now she's fully fast on grin

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:29:33

i can't move, though and my side is being stretched.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:29:47

and it's half 5! i need to close!

buttonmoon78 Mon 25-Jun-12 17:31:03

No more chocolate sad It's what keeps me going!

I'd disagree with your GP. There's plenty of evidence for babies having reactions to foods through BM. Unfortunately most of it's anecdotal but strong evidence is building. My own nephew was diagnosed with multiple food allergies before he had tasted any of them. He had very bad eczema. I stopped bf this time round at 7w but my ds is allergic to dairy. I think a lot of his unsettledness etc was due to the fact that there was dairy in my BM.

Other than losing your major food group (chocolate and cheese grin) what have you got to lose? It could be worth it. And def go and get a referral. When eczema is affecting your daily life then whatever you're doing is not working. There are other things which can help but your GP doesn't have access to them.

Chigertick Mon 25-Jun-12 17:31:43

Hi it seems your thread has moved on from your original question about the HV who I think probably should have followed this up yes. But as everyone is giving you business ideas for your shop now I thought I'd add that if you want schools to be interested you could try contacting the LEA, in Brighton and Hove where I teach there are a couple of independents who have stalls at LEA conferences/trainings etc.
Hope you are able to feel more positive soon.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:38:05

can't i cut out other stuff than dairy? like cabbages? grin
i'll think about it.

thanks chiger - i hadn't thought about going through the LEA rather than to the schools themselves - that's something i will definitely try smile (they tend to be able to flag stuff up to schools, and not get thrown straight into "junk email" folders)

it feels like a long time since this morning.

BalloonSlayer Mon 25-Jun-12 17:40:53

Hi Nickel

Sorry you are feeling so awful. Agree with the others - get thee to the GP.

Do you do internet sales at all?

Re the eczema - if her nappy area is OK I presume you have been through the rigmarole of changing washing powders etc.

Re the cream. DS1 was also made worse by Diprobase (nurse said "no one is ever allergic to this" when I expressed doubts before she put it on because it smelled like aqueous cream which makes him worse angry)

The cream we found worked wonders is Oilatum Junior. Not Oilatum, it has to be the Junior. It moisturised him and he stayed moisturised, not like E45 which made his skin feel as if he had had nothing put on it at all after 5 minutes.

JustFabulous Mon 25-Jun-12 17:40:53

Always happy to come and help for a couple of hours...

buttonmoon78 Mon 25-Jun-12 17:48:02

Re the cream. DS1 was also made worse by Diprobase (nurse said "no one is ever allergic to this" when I expressed doubts before she put it on because it smelled like aqueous cream which makes him worse)

That'll be like the hypoallergenic formula that ds was on. Once he was taken off that and put onto wysoy his reflux was soooo much better!

I know - cutting dairy is daunting. It could be anything though. Egg?

If you're trying different washing powders it takes a long time to see a difference. Again, measure the trial in weeks not days.

I find it really difficult that whatever I do to try something difficult is a long term thing. I am not the most patient at the best of times!

buttonmoon78 Mon 25-Jun-12 17:49:03

I meant hydrolysed not hypoallergenic. Apparently it's nigh on impossible to be react to hydrolysed formula.


BalloonSlayer Mon 25-Jun-12 17:53:10

I also saw a study into an anti-baldness cream which used aqueous cream as a control as "it never causes a reaction." I also thought: ha

(if DS1 was bald and had taken part in that study he'd have had a bright red pate!)

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:53:52

yeah, we've done oilatum junior grin

i felt a bit naughty when i had to admit tothe GP "we've tried everything"

oilatum jr, olive oil, diprobase, e45, johnson's baby moisturiser, nappy cream, lansinoh. (i'm convinced the lansinoh is the one)
and yes! that's what e45 feels like to us! except like we've just bathed her in gravel!

Fab - might have to drag you in for coffee/tea and storytime smile

not egg! what would i do with my hens?! (it's not egg, i don't eat egg often enough)
I'll make a food diary, i think.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 17:54:38

i can't close with dd asleep.

BalloonSlayer Mon 25-Jun-12 18:03:07

Astral cream has got lanolin in it.

Am being a bit facetious here as Astral Cream seems to be the universal panacea to my mother. When I was 14 I went abroad with my Dad and she sent me with a jar of Astral cream for the sun. hmm Needless to say I dutifully applied it, fried myself, then put it on my sunburn.

It's her answer to everything. Face cream dry skin, eczema, sore bottom. She even puts it on the cat. I reckon if my arm was ripped off in some industrial machinery she'd suggest I put a bit of Astral cream on it before calling the doctor.

HmmThinkingAboutIt Mon 25-Jun-12 18:05:33

Bit of an out there suggestion, but have you tried a bees wax based moisturiser?

I have ultra sensitive dry skin. Not eczema.
I can not use any 'normal' moisturisers at all. E45 stings like crazy. Suncreams are a no no. Even sensitive specialist products.

The ONLY thing that my skin seems to tolerate and help when I have any type of skin problem is stuff based on bees wax. Seems to work on anything from sores to sunburn.

If you really have tried everything else, maybe its worth a shot...

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 25-Jun-12 18:09:04

germolene is my panacea grin
bit harsh for a baby though, i thought.

i just want the gp to prescribe lansinoh - it's very expensive to use it without prescription (it's lovely and thick like beeswax)

es, i'm still here.
dd woke up, so i put her down so i could close. you'd've thought i was trying to kill her from the cries! so now i'm back to feeding her.
i will get home tonight.

I think if you're going to have dd in the shop you need to get a playpen. As soon as she's really active and pulling up you'll have no stock left on the shelves.

3duracellbunnies Mon 25-Jun-12 19:59:42

Do make time to go to the dr, ask to be tested for low thyroid and anaemia, both of which can also feel like depression. I had low thyoid after dd2. I was tierd, life felt really foggy, I went to GP as thought was depressed, but the did some tests and came back as low throid. I now take a replacement hormone and am fine. All of these things can happen after having a baby (5-6 months is classic for thyoid problems).

Can't really help on business ideas, but my children were all intollerant to dairy, and two of them to soy. I had to cut out all dairy and soy, and although it was v tough at first, the differences were remarkable. That kept me going. Also at this stage with weaning the bm will become less important. Sometimes if you put a little bit of butter on an unaffected patch of skin, it will become red and inflamed, which may indicate that it is the culprit. It doesn't always - it didn't with mine, but they had stomach rather than skin problems. You shouldn't try to eliminate dairy for long without some expert help. We saw someone @ Pembury who was good. Hope tomorrow is a happier day.

plutocrap Mon 25-Jun-12 20:48:44

I second the other comments about eczema, with the additional comment that it's a symptom, not a syndrome, so any number of methods/products could cure/ease it, as any number of stimuli could have caused it.

What worked for DS was one bath a week (that got a bit problematic later, when the very sticky Epaderm and doublebase attracted filth - shock) and, eventually, Aveeno. Oats in the bath is also quite nice, but gets a bit messy if your "teabag" (toe of old tights) breaks, and, of course, your DD may have problems with oats, as some seem to... sad

We also cut dairy out of DS's diet for 6 months, and it's easier to try that with you as an adult than wait to try it on her as a post-weaned child, as non-dairy substitutes all seem to be so low in fat, whereas babies and small children need lots of fat in their diet. Quiches and other eggy dishes can be made with rice milk, there's a lot of chocolate substitute around (and you can make chocolate icing with just cocoa powder, icing sugar and water!), and there's even non-dairy ice cream. The only thing I did miss in the family diet, though, was cheese sad.

plutocrap Tue 26-Jun-12 09:46:33

Good morning. How are you feeling today? smile

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 26-Jun-12 11:12:52

oh, i'll definitely getting a play pen when she's more mobile! grin

I do feel better today, thanks.
I've just got to try to breathe and relax myself when it all feels too much.
This morning, she was whingeing as usual, and I thought "you know what, I don't need to rush to get dressed, I'll just give her a cuddle" and i did and she calmed down smile and so did I.

I've also decided to do an experiment with the creams - we're now going to use lanolin on her right (left facing us) and e45 on her left (right facing us), and see what the difference is.
I know that the lanolin is okay for her, but I don't know what effect the e45 is having. this controlled experiment should make it clearer. then i'm not beating myself up by thinking I'm doing more harm than good.

I'm taking advantage of her still being asleep (it's a miracle!) to sort out the Find Wally Packs for participating businesses (it's a big thing for July - brainchild of the booksellers association and IBW, and hopefully it'll put a bit od trade down this end of the high street!)

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 26-Jun-12 14:18:03

coping strategies, you see. smile

another friend came in later on.
I hadn't finished doing the where's wally, but i thought "nah, it's okay, i can do the rest later" when DD woke up. she was a bit groggy and needed cuddling as you do, so I stopped doing what I was doing, put it all in a neat pile and cuddled/fed her. I felt much better doingthat.
then when my friend came in, she was happy to play with DD for the extra 10 mins (and she made me a cuppa too!) while I finished off the where's wally stuff.
(well, the bit I was doing at that time - it's an awful lot of photocopying! shock )


CuriosityCola Tue 26-Jun-12 16:47:17

Hey nickel, come see us on just Mumming. We are doing updates.

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 26-Jun-12 16:52:12

i need the link, Cola.
I was looking for it a few days ago, and couldn't find it.

(i am a bit dizzy though, so prob didn't look in the right places)

plutocrap Tue 26-Jun-12 17:10:53

oh, i'll definitely getting a play pen when she's more mobile!

Errr, better get one now, rather than waiting! Development isn't incremental; it is exponential! DD shocked me the other day by doing proto-commando crawling, whereas her gross motor skills had always been behind those of DS (and hr didn't crawl till 9 months).

porcamiseria Tue 26-Jun-12 17:14:57

HVs are very very underesourced, unfortunately.

Dont direct ire at her, go and see GP and good luck x

naturalbaby Tue 26-Jun-12 17:37:10

<sings> We love you Nickel, we do! We love you nickel....we dooooooo!

I can empathise with so many things you say, I feel just like you do and I don't have a business to run or a job to go do! (I did have 3 under 3's though so feel v.overwhelmed at times).
I saw my Gp at the peak of feeling crappy, which coincidentally was just before DH was about to go away for business/work but we got a bit stuck because I was ebf, but she was lovely and helpful and I managed to do some things to get some time away to myself and have a good think about things.
Talking about it is brilliant therapy - MNing counts too!

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 26-Jun-12 17:44:15

pluto - we haven't even got a cot or highchair yet!
at the moment, she's behind the till and can't get out of there without help.

i will, porc, i promise smile

natural aww, you sweetie grin i did find mning yesterday really helped.
i have had a counsellor in the past, but it cost £35 a session and i really really can't afford that right now (especially having just discovered that the card machine contract i thought i'd cancelled is still taking the direct debit!)
i know i should have cancelled it my end! and i have now, so hopefully they'll actually get in touch.
two changes of supplier this year that have cost me more than they've saved (by quite a ginormous margin)

JustFabulous Tue 26-Jun-12 17:46:31

And also, get her used to being in the playpen with toys, happily, as once she realises she can move.....

FabBoy's highchair and travel cat are available if you don't mind second hand.

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 26-Jun-12 17:58:33

you might need to post me a picture.
does that mean you'll be forced to visit to deliver?

don't need travel cat - have 2 cats at home wink

JustFabulous Tue 26-Jun-12 18:28:52

this one in blue/yellow/white.

I would visit anytime you needed a hand/company.

grin at cat. Clearly have FABCat on the brain. I also have a travel cot...

HerMajestyQueenHillyzabethII Tue 26-Jun-12 18:37:06

Nickel. Most people either stay at home with their babies and don't work for the first six months or a year, or they do go to work full time and someone else cares for their baby on their behalf during working hours.

You are doing both. YOU ARE DOING BOTH! I know you are trying to prop up a business in a recession but you are not superwoman. Something will have to give for a while my darling. Make sure it is not you. smile

SageYourOracle Tue 26-Jun-12 19:36:54

Nickel- I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

I haven't had time to read all the thread but people have given some great advice WRT how you are feeling.

I hope I've not got the wrong end of the stick: you have a book shop, right? I had a thought re potential business from schools in your area.. Maybe try contacting your local authority to see if you can get a contact name for the English/literacy consultant/adviser (if there still is one, if not then there may be a general primary consultant/adviser). He/she will likely hold meetings for all the local schools English/Literacy subject leaders. Maybe you could see if you could have a 5/10 minute slot & a stall at one of the meetings? Throw in a prize draw too where a school wins maybe 2 books but to enter the prize draw each teacher attending has to leave their contact details. I've had companies do this & it's generated a fair amount of business.


princesssmartypantss Wed 27-Jun-12 00:00:37

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter, hope you've managed to book appointment with gp? I second what was said about you mabaging a job and fulltime childcare, everyone else only does one at a time. You sound like superwoman!

As for eczema, think if you are convinced you know what will work, go back to gp and ask again, ours seems to hate that i am a bit bossy, but i do get what we need. We saw an eczema nurse who suggested epaderm at least twice a day, but lots more if sin sore, ideally every two hours during the day when skin bad, hydrocortisone, and dermol bath emollient and lotion as soap substitute, i have been told that its better to bath daily as reduces chances of eczema getting infected, but this would be impossible for us without good bath emollient. I then saw doctor recently who updated this advice by suggesting we swap our hydrocortisone to eumovate ointment, which is thicker and more sticky, like lasinoh, and we use mostly epaderm ointment, again more sticky, which seems to be really helping. The doctor we saw had eczema, and said she finds creams drying, and prefers ointments herself!

Your bookshop sounds lovely, i have a lovely booksjop in our town who will order in books for next day, better service than amazon or play by a mile and lovely people too!

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 27-Jun-12 17:20:07

Sage - that's a good idea, thank you. smile
the worst thing about the schools' business is that most of the ones I contacted have history with me (as in, they have a credit account/discounts) and they denied all knowledge!

we went shopping last night, to the saver centre. It was crap.
I wanted Boots, M&S and Mothercare. we didn't go till 7, so we couldn't go to bluewater (although I prefer lakeside).
the Boots is about the same size as the one here! and they don't have a Mothercare. and M&S is generally crap, but I got a couple of tops and a couple of feeding bras. but they turn the lights down at 10 to 8 and make an announcement that the store is closing. I was spending a lot (to me) of money(well, okay, giftcards, so really, they've already got that money!), so I ignored it (as best I could)
DH says he'll take me to Bluewater on sunday after church.

Musical Bumps this morning had about 5 ladies/babies trying out the baby session, and I felt sad because they all came together, and all their babies were the same age, so I assume they met at baby group, or clinic, or antenatal classes, and I don't know any mums who have babies of DD's age. and they didn't seem to be that interested in being friendly with me (they were nice but not welcoming iyswim)

I have been doing stuff whilst trying not to stress today again.
DD was a bit clingy (I'm trying not to say whiny or whinging) so I let her, and just tried to put her down bit by bit so that I could do my work. smile

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 27-Jun-12 17:21:16

bread wouldn't make her itch, would it?
it'd be belly ache if she was reacting to it, wouldn't it?

maples Wed 27-Jun-12 17:31:44

Nickel I totally understand about the feeling sad sad I saw mums all laughing and chatting at a baby group yesterday and felt very left out. We moved house when DS was younger and I haven't really managed to make friends with other mums here.

We'll get there!

nickelbarapasaurus Thu 28-Jun-12 11:35:28


we go to Busy Bees at church every 6 weeks - it runs every week, but DH's day off only falls on a monday 1 in 6 weeks, so that's all i can do.
i have met a couple of other mums through it, but i don't see them often enough (some of them have started to come to my storytimes smile ) to really make friends (plus, their kids are all toddlers rather than babies)

DD didn't sleep at all last night.
i blame myself because i allowed her to have proper naps in the day. she must have been exhausted because she doesn't normally sleep.
it meant i got work done, but it also meant no sleep.
it's dh's day off today, and i realised that at 3 o'clock this morning, so i woke him [evil]
he offered to take her out for a walk in the pram.
i went to sleep. thought i kept hearing noise downstairs, but was confused and asleep. i went downstairs at about half 4: saw dh on the settee and DD in the car seat "thought you were taking her out in the pram". "i did - twice! both times we came back and she woke straight up again, so i took her in the car and she's woken up as soon as we've arrived home." she was happily playing i the seat so he'd left her to it.

plutocrap Thu 28-Jun-12 18:14:40

Don't worry about ignoring an awake baby, in order (for you and DH) to sleep yourself(ves); many of us have done this! DD was singing and shrieking for ages this morning, and, cute as that is, I was just not interested at all until the sounds turned distressed/ pissed off.

Also, when she was very tiny, I remember an occasion when I lay on the sofa with her and turned on CBeebies for DS, then just switched myself off - these breaks do happen!

nickelbarapasaurus Fri 29-Jun-12 10:58:27

problem is, where I would happily ignore the awake baby, she scratches when she's fractious.
she is okay if she's occupied, most of the time if she's feeding, but if she's awake and doesn't want to be, she scratches.
the day her eczema was really bad, she managed to scratch her face and neck so badly it looked like she'd slipped on tarmac.

plutocrap Fri 29-Jun-12 12:18:47

Oh, the nighttime scratching! That is horrible, and I know what that's like, as DS used to scratch his wrists until he bled. What helped us:

- medicine-wise: Fucibet, which is steroid cream with fusidic acid to deal with potential infection of the scratched bits.

- clothes-wise: there are specialist eczema clothes (which you may be able to find on eBay, though it's possible eczema tots are too hard on their clothes for them to be reworn... sad), but also try Green Baby, whose sleep-gowns are the last (at the latest age) to give up integral scratch mitts. DS was wearing these to sleep till he was about 18 months old. They're normal vest-and-sleepsuit jersey, so won't add any extra heat

- diet-wise: unfotunately, skin-prick tests aren't very meaningful in infants - I think DS had his at around 2 - but this is definitely a good long-term thing to do. It turned out he had some sort of intolerance to milk. It wasn't an allergy - there was no anaphylactic reaction, and it was a subtle buildup sort of thing, so food exclusions were too short-term to reveal anything. We kept him off dairy for 6 months, and he no longer has the redness round his eyes and constant nagging itchiness.

That skin-prick test also included environmental allergens, and we came up with mould, dust-mites and cat hair. DS had his first summertime asthma-wheezes due to, we think, cat hair (first time) and dust mites (second time), so have a look at this for ideas on what you can blast!

nickelbarapasaurus Fri 29-Jun-12 13:31:02

i would love to use the sleepsuits with the scratch mitts, but she's too hot!
she's too hot in a vest. (plus, she scratches at whatever skin is bare- so face, neck etc all up for grabs!) sad

i hope it doesn't come down to allergies/intolerances. i know i had eczema as a baby, but not how bad, i haven't got any food problems. dh was asthmatic, though, and i know that combination can throw up problems.

nickelbarapasaurus Fri 29-Jun-12 13:31:51

cats sad
i hope not.

plutocrap Fri 29-Jun-12 22:12:20

Even if she's too hot now, this weather cannot last forever! grin

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 30-Jun-12 10:49:53

i'm hoping.
and by next year, she'll be more in control of herself not to scratch so much.

princesssmartypantss Sun 01-Jul-12 18:48:42

Not sure if she would keep them on, but have you tried scratch mits, m&s do bigger than newborn, think 3-6 months and 6-12, we have 6-12 which ae big enough for a big 11 month baby and will be ok for a while, i pop cream on his hands and then leave gloves for as long as possible, he sucks his thumb so not always very long at night as we all need to sleep!
We also were prescribed some comfifast easy wrap mittens, these have little thumb holes and go up to thier elbows, think you can use them for wet wrapping too. I know with cuts etc there may not be them locally, but you could ask hv or gp (realise absent hv is reason for initial post, so maybe gp better) to refer you to childrens community nurse or eczema nurse for help with managing eczema, we have some great nurses locally, who have helped us lots with ds's eczema, and they come to us at home (probably to check if i am vaccuming)!

Wow, Nickel - no wonder you feel so stressed! Is there any way at all you can take some time off, or could anyone help you with your baby? Have another random <hug> from a stranger and I hope that you are feeling better.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 02-Jul-12 11:26:40

she won't keep scratchmitts on - whenever i've tried, she's pushed them off when she rubs her wrists against her belly/the bed/anywhere that has grip.

last night, she was unsettled again.
after about an hour of trying to calm her/hold her arms so she couldn't scratch (which just meant she'd rub her skin against the bed!), i took her out of the room for a walk. she stopped crying, so i put on the bathroom light. her vest was covered in blood (all down the front near the neck). sad
so i pulled it off, found a babygrow with the mitts in the cuff, slathered lanolin on her neck, and gave her a dose of calpol.
when we got back to bed, she slept for a couple of hours.
feel a bit guilty drugging her, but she was obviously so uncomfortable. sad
(and was amazed that she slept with the full babygrow on!)

Peahen - thank you smile DH is doing all he can in the afternoon/evenings, so I can't think of anything else that can be done!
funnily enough, the other day, DD was being fractious, but not too bad, just fidgetty. I'd just fed her, but we needed food and there was washing up to be done. DH said "i'll go and finish the washing up", but I'd just decided to hand DD to him, so I said "oh, no you don't! you have DD, and I'll wash the pots!"
I think that was the best plan, because I got to do something useful but away from her, like a change of scenery. especially cos most of the time, I'm tied to her, and DH does all the other stuff. If she's not feeding, she doesn't need me

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 02-Jul-12 11:26:58

feeling better today, because of the sleep I had last night smile

<snatching a moment to see how you are>

Glad that you are feeling better smile. Oh dear, it's come to something when washing pots counts as a rest grin.

It's a non-stop slog looking after a baby, when you stop to think about it, wonderful though that slog is. And to work full time as well as being a full time mum - I don't now how you do it. I went back to work for 2 days a week a couple of weeks ago when my baby was 4 weeks old (bad mother emoticon) but I have someone to look after her for me so I find being in the office a refreshing, battery-recharging change. If I had to look after my baby as well as trying to work ... I just couldn't!

nickelbarapasaurus Tue 03-Jul-12 12:41:55


well, it was either that or go mad because she was whingeing.
He desperately wanted them finished, so I forced him to take her while I did the pots!

she slept better again last night - i put her in a full babygrow and folded the mittends over from the start.
i do worry about her being too hot, though.

plutocrap Wed 04-Jul-12 00:04:48

Glad you still have some mitt-ended clothes; I hadn't been able to find any, which was why I suggested the Green Baby ones.

I'm sort of laughing with sympathy about the pot-cleaning: that is such such an authentic new-parent (- mother and -father) post! grin

Nice to hear you sounding more cheerful. smile

Valpollicella Wed 04-Jul-12 00:22:44

Nickle I am SO sorry to hear what a shitty time you have been having...

I will be back on this thread tmrw as I have to sleep now but just wanted to offer one quick bit of advice and that wiuld be to avoid lanolin products on her skin - Ive heard lots about how they arent great for certain ecxema like conditions.
will post more in the am.
I hope you get some rest tonight x

JustFabulous Wed 04-Jul-12 07:49:42

Oh yes, I remember that! DH would come home and take baby to bath him so that I could cook tea! That was a break from baby stuff.

droppedscones Wed 04-Jul-12 09:27:29

You sound like you're doing ok bearing in mind everything that's going on to me. My son had eczema and when he was miserable I was totally miserable alongside him without the business you're trying to deal with alongside it. Have you been offered steroid cream to get it under control and a new moisturiser to try as the one you have doesn't seem to be working? Also had antihistime (sp?) to stop the itching when it was bad so he could sleep. Unguentum is a good thick moisturiser which seems to work for us and is paraffin based. I'm sure I've read somewhere that aqueous is often wrongly prescribed as a moisturiser and is best used in replacement of soap to be washed off in an oily bath and followed up with another moisturiser, but I'm sure someone may know better on that score than me. Also you've found out what's best re baths for yourself and turns out to be what's actually recommended- once or twice a week! Moisturisers just need to be tried and changed until you've found one that works for you. e45, diprobase and epiderm just seemed to irritate my sons skin and I don't think there's a one size fits all unfortunately. I know people who swear by aveeno but I might aswell have given my son a rub down with a loofah. Same for purepotions skinsalvation which I loved the idea of and was upset when it didn't work. Anyway, I hope this isn't too obvious and if so I'll just crack open the eggs and pass you a straw.
Re your op, I've met 1 hv in 4 I thought was good and she left shortly after for Australia. In my experience they swan in, offer opinions, and swan off into the distance with speed adjusted according to the unhelpfulness/shiteness of the comment.

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 11:02:27

Val smile it works on her skin, though- i suppose it's like a barrier cream.

I've started to put germolene on the ripped skin - she drives me nutty with all the constant scratching! blood everywhere shock
she's alright most of the time now. the germolene stops her scratching.
and we've had 3 good nights' sleep in a row shockgrin

and she scratches when she's tired.

I think the worst of the bout she's had has gone now, because most of her skin looks okay. It's just the bit under her neck and behind the knees now (she can't scratch behind her knees when she's dressed, so it's mainly the neck that she rips to shreds [sigh]

thanks droppedscones - your experiences are good to know - it's just what the doctor said. most people hae goen "suchandsuch worked on my DS/DD etc" when it's been the thing that's most irritated DD!
you're right about aqueous - best used as a soap.

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 11:15:09

Val - i've just googled to check your theory, and you're right shock

net doctor says it

there's some general info in wikipedia
looks like it's only 1%
i suppose it's another what works for one is hell for another.

Yayyy to good nights sleep grin do you feel better for it Nickel? it can make such a difference just to get a few hours undisturbed.

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 12:12:49

the first night threw me completely! I spent the whole day on Monday sooooo

but today i feel good and yesterday I felt good.

I'm able to wake up a bit earlier, too, so i've put videos on while having a "lie-in" until it's time to get up grin


IvanaNap Wed 04-Jul-12 12:25:58

Nickel, <wave> only just seen this blush - how are you feeling today?
I started a very long reply last night in the wee small hours but didn't post, far too garbled! Will send you an e-mail as I have an array of random thoughts that may not be of use grin

Hope today is a Good Day; take time for yourself if possible, even just 2 minutes deep breathing. thanks for you.

IvanaNap Wed 04-Jul-12 12:58:50

Grrrr and fluff - e-mail messing with my head and playing up; shall copy and paste here!

I would try to make this all readable and do full paragraphs but that would take far too much energy - apologies in advance for reeling off my thoughts! I just had lots of things spring to mind and I am sure they are nothing new to you, but I'd rather mention them and be useless than not mention them at all? Sooo...

Baby's skin -
GP twice said E45 was shit useless. It can exacerbate problems rather than help.
Ask for Epaderm. It's wax / paraffin and worth a try? Or you can buy it?
Get lansinoh "for you" if that works best and they won't prescribe for DD? ("Oh my nipples still get sore and painful, can I get a repeat prescription...")
How do you trim / file DD's nails by the way?

Shop stuff-
RE: Schools: get friendly with the Literacy Coordinator. Address info and letters to them - named or just the title. Organise a do of some sort for them?! A coffee morning where you ply them with info and tell them all about how good it would be to bring groups of children, set up a reward scheme, competition, display things in the window that the children have done... (the latter is very good for getting the kiddie winks to return with parents and money at the weekend!) They are in charge of the budget for the subject wink and if you get in with them, the ideas and collaborations can flow from there.
General shop numbers and sales - consider anything mum, baby, weaning, prenatal, postnatal, health, fitness, speech / development, breastfeeding related - all avenues for drawing the crowds?
I have a contact who makes a specific crafty item that I think could be a real go-er and potentially open avenues for other diversification ... i.e. selling people's crafts in your shop? There are so many mums who are trying to set up cottage industries - jewellery, cards, anything child related...? Let me know if you're interested I'll send you the info. I have already crammed lots into one message here!

Do you have a door bouncer / jumperoo / walker for DD? We used to think of it in terms of "credits" through the day, what have we not "used up"?! It does get a bit better when they get older and more mobile... although that brings another set of challenges!
Can you consider a partial close on Mondays and do the church group with DD? Or at least think about it. I know I know, much easier for me to say it - a magic wand is needed perhaps - but it would be just a small part of your week to do something different and to have set aside for DD... Although I'm sure if it was doable you would be doing it already. So probably ignore that. grin
If you have some pnd concerns still, the Edinburgh test is online? They will do it again at your DDs 8 month (ish?) check.
You have to look after yourself, as the mummy with bfing especially- drink plenty as dehydration causes more than you realise.
So easy for your needs to be bottom of the list I know, but you're the integral piece of your family machine atm!

I hope there is a grain of usefulness in there somewhere - if nothing else, an "almost" stranger is thinking of you and wishing you well, along with the other posters on here smile Take care.

Migsy1 Wed 04-Jul-12 13:27:29

I got a high score on my MH questionnaire after my 2nd baby and the HV said "You are fine. You are just having a bad day."

How ridiculous was that? I've a long history of depression and she just dismissed it. There are some rubbish HVs out there (and some good ones).

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 13:36:04

we don't trim DD's nails blush

we've been told to do it when she's asleep - she never sleeps and if we try to mess with her when she is asleep, she wakes up and screams. hmm
I try to bite them down when she's feeding, but she gets so fidgetty. I manage to keep them quite short that way, but I have tried to use clippers on her, and she writhes around so much that I'm worried I'll break her arm, never mind draw blood!

writing all your shop ideas down.
I was going to write a letter to the schools saying "have you forgotten who i am, or have you changed staff so noone knows our links anymore?" But i thought it's too close to the end of the school year (and I've run out of steram, I really have), so I'm going to write a proper thing during August, with "this is what we do" written all over it, with ideas for them to visit and buy books etc, and send it off to the Head, the Litersacy coordinator and the Librarian of all the schools that have fallen by the wayside.

last week, after my "why don't you like me?!" email, I sent an email to the 3 schools that do spend money a lot and gave them £30 of free books (of their own choosing) just for still loving me wink
it was my karmic "you shop here, I give you lovely stuff, you don't, you miss out!"

Migsy - I've not got a medical history of depression, but I have been forced to see to a counsellor for anger issues (when I was pregnant)

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 13:49:50

I have got lots of toys and things here for DD - I try to "rotate" them each day so she doesn't see the same ones.
and she seems to "obtain" her book recommendation every week by biting the thing! shock (i think she knows exactly what she's doing wink)

I have found that she does get a bit gripey when she's bored or tired, so if she gripes, I've taken to (since I started the thread, I've taken to doing a lot of new stuff) sitting down with her and playing, rather than just getting annoyed. I know that sounds really obvious, but my god! does that griping noise grate!
I've just got to tell myself that she needs me more than the goods-in or the ordering or the bill paying. (and when I have real customers, she gets to talk to them then, so she's happy)

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 13:51:24

that Edinburgh test
some questions confuse me, like:
In the last week I have felt scared or panicky for no very good reason:
Yes, quite a lot
Yes, sometimes
No, not much
No, not at all

well, I feel scared and panicky for very good reason ,so I'd pick "no" for that, but that doesn't change that I've felt scared and panicky.

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 13:52:21

I just did it online:

Total Score = 10

Total Score Analysis
The total score is suggestive of a depressive illness. Scores above 10 ought to be assessed further by a health professional.

Whoneedssleepanyway Wed 04-Jul-12 14:09:24

Nickel this sounds so similar to where I ended up after having DD2, some of your posts were bringing back how I felt.

We had 8.5 months of very very little sleep and reflux baby, when DH eventually frogmarched me to the doctor's after arriving home to find me sitting in the middle of a trashed living room crying with the two DDs just sitting there with me the doctor said "Oh yes I have been wondering when you were going to come and see me" shock

I knew things weren't right but was scared about going to the doctor and needed someone to give me a push, luckily DH was there to do that for me. With some CBT and ADs things got back on track and all is ok now.

I think you should go and see your GP, your HV does sound pretty rubbish to be honest with you.

I hope you are able to get back on track soon, but just wanted to let you know that there are lots of people out there who have experienced similar, you have got more on than most looking after a baby and running a business, I was on paid maternity leave at the time not working and found it hard.

On the Eczema, my DD2 had really bad eczema, the thing we have found that controls it best is actually Sudocrem we slather her in the stuff before she goes to bed after her bath (feet, hands and wrists, arm creases, behind knees) and it is now keeping it under control, we do occasionally have to use 1% hydrocortisone cream if we get a bad flare up to get it under control but normally only have to use it for a few days (I don't really like using steriod cream but it had got so bad it was all cracked and bleeding). For my DD switching cows milk to goats milk also helped although your DD is I guess still BF or FF at only 6 months so this probably doesn't help you. Hope you get it sorted.

IvanaNap Wed 04-Jul-12 16:56:45

Bless you, I hope you didn't think I was having a go or anything - you don't have to explain anything / yourself, honest, was just brainstorming smile
I can't find a quick link to the scores break-down, is 10 still relatively low or quite high? Ultimately it's only a diagnostic tool to indicate if a woman could need further support - you don't need a number to go to your GP and just have a chat. Have you mentioned anything to DH (sorry if you mentioned that upthread). Oh, and try baby nail files - or grown up ones - when little miss is still on the boob wink

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 17:10:45

no of course not! smile

I didn't even look for a breakdown - it just said that which I quoted - more than 10 is a problem confused

nickelbarapasaurus Wed 04-Jul-12 17:12:44

sleep - god, just realised I read your reply and didn't acknowledge it blush

I did read it, thank you smile
It's good to read other people's experiences - I don't think mine's as obvious as yours was. (i hope!)
yes, DD is still msotly BF, but she's eating a little bit of food (nothing serious, just some veg here and there) we know the eczema flare coincided with the sudden hot weather, so we think that it's not diet related

JustFabulous Wed 04-Jul-12 17:39:13

Baby scissors are better for finger nails and clippers are better for toenails ime.

nickelbarapasaurus Fri 06-Jul-12 15:57:48

we haven't got any scissors.

i'll look for some.

and doe anyone know where we can get cheap 6-9mo or 9-12mo babygrows with integral scratch mitts?

nickelbarapasaurus Fri 06-Jul-12 15:58:28

(please don't link amazon)

IvanaNap Fri 06-Jul-12 16:44:34

Hmmm I think it was mothercare and next that did the integral ones we've had - although socks on hands are a v.g. alternative and longer (up to the elbow!) than scratch mitts?

How you doing atm Nickel?

JustFabulous Fri 06-Jul-12 16:49:37

I will have a look for you nickel.

Boots do baby scissors.

JustFabulous Fri 06-Jul-12 16:54:44

What size, nickel?

JustFabulous Fri 06-Jul-12 16:57:07

Nickel, I'm not far from you, can I do anything to help? Shop sit? (I used to run a pub so fine with tills etc) Baby sit? Take a selection of your books and try to sell them at the toddler group I run?

This will all be week after next btw, am currently recovering from surgery! I almost rang your shop, and then realised how odd that would be....must be the meds! grin

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 12:17:14

cool, we've got boots vouchers grin

6-9 months or 9-12 months (or 6-12 months) smile

she's eating now, and her godmother has just come in to offer to take her for a walk. aww.

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 12:19:41

matalan have got loads - just not in the right size! shock
thanks fab - i'll bookmark that, because they might come back in.

never thought it would be a problem, or i would have stockpiled (knowing what summer is like for long clothes)

aha! that 3rd link has the right size in stock.
(not impressed that all of your choices were pink and girly, fab wink)

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 12:21:27

Balloon grin

i hope you get better quickly smile thanks

i like the idea of you selling my stuff at the toddler group - i might make you come in and visit me smile

JustFabulous Sat 07-Jul-12 12:21:41


nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 13:09:38

minx grin

I shall have a sort out of dd's clothes and see if there are any baby grows that might be suitable. Are you open on Monday nickel?

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 14:42:29

oh, thank you, that's lovely of you smile

yes, open on Monday (but a little bit later cos DD has a doctor's appt at 9m....)

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 14:42:42

9a.m.!! not pm....

I might just be in to see you! smile

nickelbarapasaurus Sat 07-Jul-12 15:48:27


I think today might be a bit ambitious, so am sending someone lovely in my place! Hope you feel a bit brighter and will come and see you soon.

cloutiedumpling Mon 09-Jul-12 11:08:29

It is just an idea, but would reading stories to kids either in the shop or at schools help? I remember when I was at school there was a woman who worked in the library who was brilliant at making stories come alive when she read them to us. We still remember her years later, even although we can't remember much else about those early years. I'm sure it helped to encourage us to read more books.

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 09-Jul-12 11:28:49

okay, Balloon - i know life gets hectic! grin

I have replied to your email, and thank you for your phone message too - only just heard it. smile

The doctor (a different doctor, a different medication...) has now prescribed Dermol cream (i asked him for 2 small containers rather than one big one because of being in two places), and a hydrocortisone cream for the big nasty red bits (mainly behind her knees and under her neck)

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 09-Jul-12 11:31:26

cloutie - i've always used the excuse reason that I'm on my own in the shop, so can't hold a story-time, but now DH has been forced to learn the till, I've forced myself to take them up again.
I have been offering him the chance to read or do the till - he read this week, but normally takes the till!

and my friend, who works for the library when she's not on maternity, read story-time twice last week - she's brilliant at reading to the kids, and I did an event yesterday (oh, the joys of having 2 church services and an event in one day for a tired and stressed mummy! shock) where when I was reading the books, I had her reading in my head!

IvanaNap Mon 09-Jul-12 13:14:38

Have sent you a message Nickel x

nickelbarapasaurus Mon 09-Jul-12 13:35:54

I've replied grin

I had a couple of lovely visitors today (well, 4 if you include the kids!)
Eleanor is now tired out (she slept for a few minutes wink ).
thanks you two for the clothes with scratch mitts on grin
and we had a lovely time

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