Parking wars

(677 Posts)
RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 19:54:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster Sun 17-Jun-12 19:56:52

Why don't you just start parking there instead of on your drive? I would grin

thepeoplesprincess Sun 17-Jun-12 19:59:17

Park outside his house then.

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 19:59:47

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RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:04:28

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39widow Sun 17-Jun-12 20:09:48

oookkk so he complaining cos someone parked across your drive ... think he needs a life
i would have a word with him, and tell him to move his car - failing that i would park my car outside my house and never move it :D

Kitchentiles Sun 17-Jun-12 20:14:47

As has been said a thousand times on threads like these, he is perfectly entitled to park outside your house. On that basis, I would not get drawn into it or try to tell him not to. Park outside your house when the space is free and elsewhere when it isn't. Don't get all obsessed about it, that way misery and madness lie.

Sparklingbrook Sun 17-Jun-12 20:17:38

Why can't he park his 2 cars in his 2 car drive? confused

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:18:34

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DontmindifIdo Sun 17-Jun-12 20:18:41

oh lord I would park outside your house, not on the drive - if you can avoid using the car for a good week or two that would be even better, let's start breaking the habit for him now... if you see him, you could mention that you'll be getting a second car soon, are rather excited about it, but annoyed that the insurance are insisting that the new car is parked on the drive, so you'll have to put yours on the road outside the house, which means you'll have to pay a little more for the insurance for that car and you're so jealous of his drive he can get two cars on, it must make his insurance cheaper to be able to say he parks them both on the drive...

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:19:13

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Westcountrylovescheese Sun 17-Jun-12 20:19:54

Totally agree with kitchentiles. You don't own the road outside your house anymore or any less than he does.... or me, or anyone else for that matter.

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:20:07

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avivabeaver Sun 17-Jun-12 20:21:36

make his piss boil

buy a cone and put it out when your dh drives off

see what he does

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:21:50

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RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:22:54

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TidyDancer Sun 17-Jun-12 20:23:15

That is utterly bizarre behaviour....does he have imaginary visitors?

Sparklingbrook Sun 17-Jun-12 20:23:22

If there was no space on his drive I would think well he has to park somewhere so it could be outside your house. But if there is space on his drive he should park in it surely?

Dare I ask if he has a garage?

Passmethecrisps Sun 17-Jun-12 20:24:45

Very diplomatic don'tmind. Nothing like parking to make same people lose it.

As sparkling said why can't he park his two cars in his two-car drive? We have this also - neighbours with a drive and a garage but still use the on street parking. Their right completely but a bit off when this means that others without the luxury of a drive or a garage are left without parking.

ENormaSnob Sun 17-Jun-12 20:24:47

Park over his face.

Dick head.

grin norma!

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:27:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh my God! I've only just realised what your name is! ENormaSnob

DontmindifIdo Sun 17-Jun-12 20:30:33

Actually, it could be worth mentioning the insurance thing, I bet he's told them he parks it on his drive when not in use, might be worth reminding him of that fact even in a round about way.

But definately parking outside your house whenever possible leaving your drive free, it's worth trying to train him to use his drive.

Could it be that his DW doesn't like/can't/won't drive his car, so he leaves his on the road so she doesn't need to back it off the drive when she wants to use hers.

lowestpriority Sun 17-Jun-12 20:32:24

One of our neighbours a few doors down started parking outside our house, even though he has his own driveway.
I was a bit suprised but as we also have a driveway just shrugged it off.
HOWEVER, we soon realised that, as he worked shifts, he would rev his car for ages at 5am to get it warmed up in winter, which woke us up as it was right below our bedroom window.
Best of it was, when I mentioned this to another neighbour, they told me he did not park on his driveway as he didn't want to disturb his wife so early in the morning.
So it was okay for him to come and wake us up but not his DW.
I just started parking our car there instead of our driveway....he soon got the message.

ENormaSnob Sun 17-Jun-12 20:32:43

grin at mrsRB

gamerwidow Sun 17-Jun-12 20:34:39

I agree with Kitchentiles I can see why this annoys you but I think if he is already being so obsessed with the space there is little you can do to stop it. On that basis don't bother getting yourself wound up about it, these things are never worth the effort.

edwinbear Sun 17-Jun-12 20:35:30

If you really want to get his goat, you park one car in 'his space' thus reserving it. When your dh gets home, you both nip out, you park your car on your drive, freeing up 'his space', that your dh then parks in. Watch him hop like a rabbit with a poker up its arse then.

Sparklingbrook Sun 17-Jun-12 20:36:59

It may be that his car leaks oil or something and he doesn't want it on his drive. I am baffled that he moves the car off his drive to come and park outside your house. That would piss me off.

ENormaSnob Sun 17-Jun-12 20:38:30

Get one of those little red and yellow cozy coupes and park that there.

CrispyCod Sun 17-Jun-12 20:39:29

Your neighbour sounds like a nutter. He's got ishoos! Why the hell does he need to park outside your house, that would really wind me up. I'd get a kick out of parking there myself just to drive him round the bend! grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:40:04

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Sparklingbrook Sun 17-Jun-12 20:41:08

Do it! I bet he comes over and asks why you aren't using your drive. grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:42:43

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Sparklingbrook Sun 17-Jun-12 20:44:01

Just say 'Oh, I thought we weren't using our drives anymore?' grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:45:45

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Ohh this would piss me off.

But you have the upper hand. You work from home, you know his shifts. Just keep your car there until your DH gets home and then swap if need be just to piss him off

In the meantime until DH gets his job can we not have some sort of fundraiser so you can buy an old banger to park out the front just to really rile him up? wink

Remember. All is fair in parking warfare.

RealityIsNOTWarren Sun 17-Jun-12 20:55:11

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AKE2012 Sun 17-Jun-12 21:06:06

My dads a bit obsessed with his parkin space. He has to b parked outside his house no1 elses. See no point in it.

Years ago my parents had a neighbour who moved his car off his driveway n parked it outside my parents house as soon as my dad left for work in the morning.
Some people hav too much time on their hands.

susiemumof Sun 17-Jun-12 21:07:15

This drives me insane! We live in a small cul de sac and everyone has the same size drive. I park my car in my drive (as you do) and on the odd occasion dh has a company car we squeeze both cars into our drive side by side to free up the narrow road.

The knob guy right over from me parks his one car in his drive (as you do) but in the odd occasion he has a company car he parks it right over his drive blocking his car in but making it difficult for another 3 family's in the street (myself included) to get out their drives.

He would only have to park it 3 metres back from his drive which would be directly outside his door to solve this problem but no no he insists on parking over his drive.

This means on the nights he is back before his wife he blocks her space then has to cone out and move his car to let her get her car into the empty drive!!!

A few of us in the street have said to him about maybe parking a few metres back but he insists he can park where he wants.

Occasionally I have got really pissed off and moved my car over my drive before he gets in but he and his wife are such horrendous drivers I am worried they clip my car.

Glad I got that off my chest grin

Watching with interest. Bloody love parking threads

heartmoonshadow Sun 17-Jun-12 21:13:04

I would make sure that whenever I was in one of our cars was parked in the space for a few weeks so that he got the hang of parking on his own drive. I.E when DH goes out move your car into the space leaving your drive free for DH when he gets home and vice versa.

nottonitejosefine Sun 17-Jun-12 21:34:03

Me too fryingpan grin

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 17-Jun-12 22:16:10

keep popping out to get something from yourr glove box.... ie getting in the car and then getting out again. claim the dcs have left something.

or just start going out to get a bit opf piece and quiet away from the dcs. he will be up and down like a yo-yo and not know whether you are moving or not grin

emsyj Sun 17-Jun-12 22:23:47

We used to live on a wide street of terraced houses. Because the road was so wide, and because there were lots of elderly folk on the street who didn't have cars, there was plenty of space and DH and I never struggled to park 2 cars close to our house. But still, there was a neighbour who had an officious little sign screwed to the front of her house saying 'No Parking'. It used to make me itch to park right outside her house, but I restrained myself.

<unhelpful>

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 17-Jun-12 22:36:23

Why the hell would anyone want to leave their car on a public street when they've got a nice safe private driveway to park it on? Surely if it got scratched or dented you'd wish that actually you'd left it on the bloody drive after all?

We have a neighbour who drives a nice car. A while back his wife was driving an old banger. He wouldn't let her park it on their drive, and made her park it further down the road. DH actually overheard him one day shout at her to get that piece of shit off his drive. Not long after that the car got traded up.

The husband is still there though, unfortunately.

savoycabbage Sun 17-Jun-12 22:37:56

I would just park outside your house when the space is there and park somewhere else when it's not. Don't enter into a battle as he obviously has a bee in his bonnet about it.

We were in a parking 'war' with our neighbor once that we didn't even know we were in for a long time. It was by far the worst period of my life.

They spat on my baby, but petrol on our doorstep, followed us, abused us racially-oh I can hardly remember all of it.

We couldn't sell our house as he would stand outside singing 'in the jungle'. I couldn't go out with my baby in case he attacked us. Or his wife attacked us. He worked shifts too. So we never knew he was at work.

We had to have our curtains shut allnthebtime and we couldn't have visitors as we where's worried about where they would park!

I had to give up working as a supply teacher as I became (irrationally) scared that the wife was going to be at a school I was at.

We couldn't try for another baby as we were living minute by minute wondering what they were going to do next. They did so many awful things.sad

The police did nothing.

So, it's not worth it as you don't know what he is like.

Gentleness Sun 17-Jun-12 22:41:21

Love all these suggestions! Does he know you watch him hop out and bring his car over to your side of the road? Could you ask his wife?

Our neighbour gets equally picky and aggressive about parking. He has a drive without a lowered kerb and wastes 5 foot of parking space by positioning his car on the road leaving access to his drive free between his car and some white no-parking lines. He isn't allowed to lower his kerb and only parks on his drive when there is nowhere else on the road, and often then there isn't space for him to manoeuvre in anyway. But apparently it's important he parks like that in case he needs to get out of his drive confused.

Once, back from Christmas staying with family, in deep ice-packed snow with a poorly 3mo old and much baggage to unload from the car, without a single other parking space the length of the road, we were 6 inches short of being able to park behind him, and he'd left 5 foot free pointlessly in front of him. We knocked and asked if he wouldn't mind moving the car forward just a foot so we could squeeze in and he went bananas, shouting about how he'd lived there 27 years and could park where he wanted to and didn't have to move for anyone. We said we knew we had no right to ask, it was just a kindness to make it a bit easier for us in the snow with a baby, only a tiny move etc. He yelled, "I am NOT A KIND MAN!" and stomped off to the pub or something. Curtains were certainly twitching!

I spoke to his wife the next day and her explanation was, he didn't understand why we needed the extra foot of space. Sheesh - we can park in spaces only a foot longer than our car, just can't quite manage in spaces shorter than the car itself (a Clio at the time - not exactly long)... There is no reasoning with some people! To be fair, I think he'd probably clocked how funny we found his parking antics and was a bit offended! He actually bought an old banger, parked it in "his" road space and parked on his drive for a few months. The old banger never moved. Once.

Ha - parking is high-drama stuff. I can't believe how cathartic I found it typing that story out and it was more than two years ago. blush

Lovecat Sun 17-Jun-12 22:42:41

Ooh, I may have encountered a relative of your neighbour on Friday, Reality smile

SIL lives on a road where several houses have converted their gardens to drives, but no lines have been put down. Her garden is still a garden. Their NDN has a drive, and the house on the other side of NDN is also a garden, so 2 parking spaces on the road and one driveway.

If SIL is out, the NDN will park in front of SIL's house and leave her drive empty.

I needed to use SIL's oven on Friday, SIL was at work but her eldest was in on study leave. NDN was, as usual, parked in front of SIL's house so I foolishly drove up and parked on the other side of NDN's house. She (NDN) literally ran out of her house and down the steps as I turned off the engine and went to bang on my window just as I was opening the door, saying "you're parking over my drive! You're blocking my drive!" I looked and I think my tyre was 1cm over the slopey bit, not even across the driveway. I was about to say "ooookay crazy lady, I'll move back 2cm, no biggie" when she went on "Are you here to see SIL? I'll move my car and then you can park in her space."

I shrugged, fine by me you fruitloop and reversed back a bit more so that she could get onto her drive. Apparently, no, she didn't want to use her own drive, she wanted me to feck off entirely so that she could park where I was and I could then drive around her to SIL's space... cue much arm waving and gesticulating from NDN as I backed up and waited before the light dawned...

And as I went down to the car after I'd finished at SILs, she was out her front door again, keys in hand, waiting to reverse back into SIL's space... she must live by her front window. Dunno how SIL puts up with it, personally I'd have murdered her by now...

yy to cones/shite old banger/popping in and out to fetch things from the glove grin grin grin

QueenOfPlaguegroup Sun 17-Jun-12 23:01:04

How far away do you have to park if you can't use the space outside your house?

Round here there is a house with big signs attached to the hedges asking people not to park outside, they leave their bins out in the road (also with notices attached), cars parked there get notes left on them telling their owners how thoughtless they are and there has been a suspicious amount of vandalism. Someone now appears to have abandoned a car there grin, it's still taxed so even though it's already been there for months, it's at least another couple of months before they can get it towed away. If I had a enough spare cars I'd love to do this to everyone who is petty about parking.

Your neighbour sounds a bit odd. Is there any way you could borrow a caravan so you could start training him to park on his own drive now?

idococktailshedoesbeer Sun 17-Jun-12 23:02:15

We have some twatty man on our street (we all have one or two car drives so street parking isn't a big issue) who doesn't use his drive and puts a big ugly cone down outside his house to make sure he can always park there. Apparently in the past he has keyed cars and let tyres down when they have dared to park there. It annoyed me so much I sent an email to the council, who said give us his house number and we'll go round and tell him the cone is a no-no, but then I thought does that make me as pathetic as him so I didn't reply. blush

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 18-Jun-12 06:15:27

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Inertia Mon 18-Jun-12 06:57:51

Can you not park outside your house every time the space is free so mindees parents can park on your drive ?

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 18-Jun-12 07:19:21

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ComposHat Mon 18-Jun-12 07:22:08

Or maybe just park your car somewhere else in the street and walk the few metres from your house to the car, rise above the nonsense and congratulate yourself for not being as petty as he is.

PurplePidjin Mon 18-Jun-12 07:23:54

If you go for the Old Banger route, which of course would be morally wrong and wicked, i completely and utterly do not condone either sending off the V5 in your neighbour's name, or paying the tax in cash...

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 18-Jun-12 07:34:37

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RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 18-Jun-12 07:34:56

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TandB Mon 18-Jun-12 08:13:36

Do one of the things suggested on this thread and when he inevitably comes to complain about it, just look at him completely blankly and then say "But you have a double drive " and let your brow wrinkle just a little bit as if you are really trying to understand.

And then tell us what he says!

PurplePidjin Mon 18-Jun-12 08:29:21

Is the drive double length or double width?

double length or double width?? this thread has suddenly took a different route... wink

Sallyingforth Mon 18-Jun-12 12:31:19

All parking wars threads should have a postcode so we can check them out on Google Street View.

MustControlFistOfDeath Mon 18-Jun-12 12:38:33

Oh God reminds me of all the nonsense we had with one of our neighbours.

Thank Christ he moved not long ago.

He's not buried under the patio, honest grin

Kazriina Mon 18-Jun-12 12:55:45

Take a picture of him parked outside your house and send it to his insurers, I'd put money on him declaring his parking as off road not on the other side of the road =)

ZacharyQuack Mon 18-Jun-12 13:04:20

We used to have rubbish bag wars with our neighbour.

The rubbish was collected early Tuesday morning, so we used to put the bags out at the end of our driveway late on Monday night. When we got up on Tuesday we'd find the bag halfway up our drive, often split open, and the rubbish truck had been and gone.

This went on for a few months and one day DH started chatting with our neighbour (who we hadn't really met before). Neighbour told him that we kept putting our rubbish bags beside his front fence, so he would throw them back up our driveway.

Thank god we didn't have a car at the time.

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 18-Jun-12 13:11:24

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Paiviaso Mon 18-Jun-12 13:19:19

OP your neighbour sounds deranged.

I think this is one of those situations where you have to be the bigger person, get on with your life and not worry about it, and just watch in amusement as the other person continues on their silly little one-sided battle smile

Katienana Mon 18-Jun-12 14:01:50

This sort of thing drives me up the wall, wish I could be more like OH and not care. My road is all flats on side that look like traditional semi detached houses (so what would be 2 semis is actually four flats) and the other side is bungalows that all have drives. One of the bungalows doesn't own a car but has relatives that visit, I have seen them bringing shopping - a few weeks ago they actually parked way down the street, despite the drive being empty, in torrential rain, carrying bags of shopping back and forth for 10 minutes. Cannot get my head round that one! Also our new-ish neighbours are also driveless like us and currently have a skip outside their front wall, but hog all the nearby parking - when I was learning to drive they would sit in their car and wait for 10 minutes while I finished talking to my instructor so they could get in the space nearest their house (where they had stopped was a perfectly fine space in itself and literally 10 yards from their front door!!)

QueenOfPlaguegroup Mon 18-Jun-12 14:02:22

I've read the blog, that sounds like perfectly reasonable behaviour. But only if you come back and update how it goes. grin

VonHerrBurton Mon 18-Jun-12 14:58:57

Haven't you got any dc at the age where kicking a large, heavy, basketball type of ball around in the vicinity of his car? After all, why shouldn't they play outside their own house?

That's what we did when the miserable old gits that live over the road from us parked their old, shitty, oil leaking dump of a 4 x 4 outside our house in similar circumstances to you. When dh asked them why they wouldn't put it on their (at least 4 car with only one parked up it) drive he laughed and said 'it blocks the wife's sun at about 10 o'clock!!' no a drop of irony.

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 18-Jun-12 15:17:09

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BobbiFleckman Mon 18-Jun-12 15:23:26

The good thing is that it is holiday season coming up. I wonder whether you know anyone on your road / any friends who might need their car keeping an eye on by you for the week they're away. Would be good of you to let them put it in the space in front of your house for the week.... (is there a regular slot when he's out bothering someone else?)

DizzyKipper Mon 18-Jun-12 16:53:42

God other people have the most interesting and amusing problems, the biggest my problems ever get is about paying bills/debts, I think my life would become that much more interesting were I able to engage in a little parking wars grin Will be an entertaining thread to be keeping an eye on whilst whiling away the days of ML - just promise me if his face turns purple from the rage at your audacity of taking HIS space you'll take some photos for us wink

TandB Mon 18-Jun-12 17:13:06

We used to live in a rented housekeeper's house that had been built in the grounds of a larger house in a rather odd little corner of London. The previous owners sold the big house and our house but kept a second cottage beside ours as a holiday home, which they then let their uni student son move into full time.

There were no parking restrictions anywhere around us and there were only a few houses on our very long road so probably only 2 or 3 cars parked on it at any given time. They had a driveway for 2, possibly 3 cars and a space set back from the road in front of their gate which could take another 2 cars.

But they used to park across our gate.

Not all the time, but probably once every 2 or 3 weeks, either a visitor would park there or the son would inexplicably park his landrover there.

The first time he did it was overnight and I didn't realise until I left early in the morning to go somewhere for the day and couldn't get my car out and couldn't wake him up for ages. He was very apologetic. And then did it again.

They then had some visitors who blocked us in just before I was about to take DS1 out in the car - one of them turned out to be the architect who designed our house. I went out and asked if they were going to be long. "Oh yes," the man said cheerfully and started to walk off. He seemed surprised when I called him back to move the car. "But I designed this house, you know," he said. I did this face confused at him.

It kept happening. It was bizarre.

PooPooInMyToes Mon 18-Jun-12 18:27:56

There's some weird people about!

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 18:12:28

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TheMonster Tue 19-Jun-12 18:13:58

Excellent! I would be doing the same grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Jun-12 18:34:07

This is fab! So where is he parked now?

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 18:44:03

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Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Jun-12 18:50:48

Doh!

So he really does have a problem with his drive then. Maybe your neighbour will start asking why no bugger ever parks on their drive any more. grin

TheDetective Tue 19-Jun-12 18:50:52

I have a solution for you! What you do is, when your DH gets his new car, one of you needs to park it on HIS drive whenever he parks in front of your house. When he asks what you're playing at, you can tell him that he doesn't seem to need his drive for his cars, so you figured it would be sensible to park their if he isn't going to bother grin

I also have a theory. Do you reckon they are comitting benefit fraud? I had an experience of this when younger. Someone I know kept parking their car all over the street instead of their 3 car drive, causing all kinds of problems as it was such a narrow road that fire engines, trucks etc couldn't get past them. Turns out he didn't want to park the car on the drive so no one would know he was living there. Which is a bit thick if you ask me. But never mind...!

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Jun-12 18:52:18

Or it might be that the bailiffs are going to reposess it. wink

TheFarSide Tue 19-Jun-12 19:01:56

Loving this thread.

Can you enlist the help of all your neighbours to also park outside their houses so he has nowhere to go other than his drive?

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 19:03:48

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Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Jun-12 19:12:17

Keep an eye on the local newspaper-in the letters section. he may put pen to paper. grin

Emandlu Tue 19-Jun-12 19:13:03

grin I just read right through the thread and then your last comment really made me giggle! Reality

Emandlu Tue 19-Jun-12 19:14:26

Bother, an extra "!" I didn't mean that to be there.

must remember to preview posts before posting

Sparklingbrook Tue 19-Jun-12 19:16:02

His bloody drive is the 'big thing' in all this, and he's not using it. angry

everlong Tue 19-Jun-12 19:28:16

Hang on, I'm lost.

Tell me again why you don't park on your drive?

Is this all about the future when your dh gets a car.

The neighbour sounds a dick btw.

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 19:32:14

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Beamur Tue 19-Jun-12 19:35:24

Ha!
My Mum has neighbours who are really anal about 'their' parking spaces (on the public highway..) which I have emailed the Council about (and they've done nothing). But woe betide anyone who parks in the wrong place! I've done it couple of times now and have come back to my car to find it blocked in by some twat who has tried to park as close to 'their' space as they can, regardless of if it blocks someone in or not. Grrr.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 19-Jun-12 19:38:52

Go Reality. <waves pompoms>

everlong Tue 19-Jun-12 19:39:35

I don't frigging blame you.

It sounds like he's just a weirdo that has become obsessed with getting into your spot so to speak wink

Lambzig Tue 19-Jun-12 19:47:32

Good for you. My DH is obsessed with getting the parking space outside our house (road is row of terraces so parking is a free for all, but residents only) and last week went out at 2.30 am in his pants to move the car into it.

He has actually refused to go somewhere by car before now as he doesnt want to lose the space. Drives me crazy

TBH Reality, with your childminding and the parents dropping off/picking up, you parking on the roadway is the most sensible thing to do anyway.

I would really have to have a quiet word with his wife to ask why he is so reluctant to park on his own drive. And then, I would probably ask her if I could park there instead. Who knows, she just might say yes just to drive it home to her husband how bizarrely he is behaving and that she has had enough of it.

Lambzig, has he told you why it is such a big deal to him? I am honestly interested in the why. I can see why it could be an issue if you're loading or unloading lots of shopping/children, or if you have mobility problems; but for the average able-bodied driver on their own coming home from work with only the evening paper to carry, I serioudly struggle to see the problem.

For myself, I live quite close to the town centre, so it used to be really difficult to find a parking space at all, in our street, adjoining streets etc. The council brought in parking meters and extra wardens and now I can get parked in my own street anytime, I see this as such a luxury so I don't care where in the street I park.

TheCraicDealer Tue 19-Jun-12 20:36:55

So when you had the builders in he didn't move his car for two weeks?! That's commitment right there. Be careful Reality, you're playing with the big boys now....

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 20:51:22

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RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 20:53:29

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RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 19-Jun-12 20:53:49

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LizzieMint73 Tue 19-Jun-12 22:12:32

He has actually refused to go somewhere by car before now as he doesnt want to lose the space.

There was an episode of Seinfeld once where they did that. This thread is probably even more entertaining but I CBA to read it properly to understand whats going on

TheCraicDealer Tue 19-Jun-12 22:24:00

Good on your builders! Surely agreeing to that for a week would be neighbourly?

My mum and her colleagues were embroiled in a parking war once. She worked in an estate agents who liked to leave the parking area clear for clients. Employees parked 'round the corner in a residential street where there were no parking restrictions. There was one elderly lady who couldn't stand people parking outside her house, to the point she bought orange cones to prevent people leaving their cars there and would shout at drivers returning to vehicles left near her home. She didn't have a car herself, she just didn't like people parking on the road beside her property. Anyway, one day my mum turned up and the cones were gone, so she parked there. Came back and there was a foot and a half long gouge where the old lady persons unknown had keyed it. I thought she was going to cry when she came home!

TandB Tue 19-Jun-12 22:28:19

You MUST WIN this parking war.

Mumsnetters everywhere are depending on you to provide them with vicarious parking victories.

KittyFane1 Tue 19-Jun-12 22:35:51

He lives opposite you doesn't he?
Maybe he can't see his car from the house as well as he can if he parks directly opposite. Is his drive to the side of his house?
He may be paranoid about it being stolen. grin
Or as someone else said he may be hiding the fact that he lives there.
My ex neighbour is a young widow and was drawing her deceased husband's pension. She had a new partner but 'couldn't' declare that he lived with her because she would no longer be able to claim her husband's pension. He would always park down the road.

Grun Tue 19-Jun-12 22:48:57

Buy an old banger and park it there. Forever.

Somehow!

Grun Tue 19-Jun-12 22:49:12

Or even better - a moped.

To my shame I've popped this onto my watchlist as I await further news!!

noseynoonoo Tue 19-Jun-12 23:02:54

Me too!

VivaLeBeaver Tue 19-Jun-12 23:17:16

Hire a skip!

UterusUterusGhali Wed 20-Jun-12 07:42:11

Agree with KungFu..

You MUST win. <<narrows eyes>>

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 07:44:49

What has to happen for the 'win' to occur? Him parking on his long and wide drive?

TandB Wed 20-Jun-12 08:08:05

Neighbour exploding into lots of little pieces with rage.

brighthair Wed 20-Jun-12 08:36:28

I had parking wars blush
My space is not outside my house but is (clearly) numbered. People kept parking in it angryangry which is irritating when you come home at 4am from work and have to walk down a badly lit road alone
I blocked one guy in, took the intercom off the hook and had a lovely bath grin
The other one took a bit more work, I asked him to move and he stood there and said "why?"
Errr because I own the space?! Because you don't live here?!

SofaSpice Wed 20-Jun-12 09:01:14

How about buying two large bags of compost and planting veg in his spare drive space when he's out... He doesn't need it after all grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:16:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:17:57

Where's his?

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:20:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:21:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:22:12

I think you should take all your mindees out the front in hi viz jackets and get them to monitor traffic/parking in your street. grin

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:22:50

Let's pretend the Fiesta is a midwife or district nurse for now. wink

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:24:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:25:45

grin Extreme mowing.

Quip Wed 20-Jun-12 09:33:39

Bake some cookies. Take them over to him. See if you can resolve it amicably <says conflict hating Quip>. Isn't it more important to get on with your neighbours, however deranged, than get drawn into a pissing contest? You are right, though, obv, that he is barking.

RumTouch Wed 20-Jun-12 09:34:04

Oh I love parking threads.

<gets comfy>

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:34:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistlethrush Wed 20-Jun-12 09:35:05

You'll have people moving in to live in the fiesta next.... then you'll have to regularly update us on what's happening there too!

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:36:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:39:43

Make him some of these

Yes, move your car. You will need to sweep the drive when you have mosed the lawn won't you? wink

Hullygully Wed 20-Jun-12 09:40:01

I HAVE TO KNOW WHY HE DOESN'T PARK ON HIS DRIVE

I HAVE TO

ASK HIM ASK HIM ASK HIM OR I WILL KILL YOU

typicalvirgo Wed 20-Jun-12 09:41:24

DEFINITELY.

MOVE IT NOW grin

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:43:02

ARE WE SHOUTING AT REALITY NOW?

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:43:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 09:44:48

Have you got block paving? Our neighbour spends all day on one of those kneeler pads and uses a knife to get the weeds out, then brushes sand into all the cracks.

tara0202 Wed 20-Jun-12 09:51:36

Between this and the T Rex thread, I'm having such fun!

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:51:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 09:51:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Move it with brazen joy. I need to know why too.

MissM Wed 20-Jun-12 09:52:56

I wish I was the kind of person who had such a trouble-free life that my biggest stress was whether or not to park on my drive or piss off my neighbours. (Don't mean you OP,mean your loopy neighbour. He must have one hell of an easy life.)

Julezboo Wed 20-Jun-12 10:01:31

When your DH gets the second car. You park your car outside your house and either move it when DH gets home (the same time so DH can drive into the space) or DH can park in the drive smile

TandB Wed 20-Jun-12 10:13:06

You should write to your local paper.

I recently had a rant piece published about my trials and tribulations in the lanes round our village. I actually put my intention not to reverse in print. blush

I did miss out the bit about hordes if MNetters offering to come and perform the Thriller zombie dance in the middle of the road.

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 10:13:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Wed 20-Jun-12 10:18:59

write it in blood

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 10:25:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Poledra Wed 20-Jun-12 10:27:08

Whose blood, though?

choccyp1g Wed 20-Jun-12 10:31:23

kungfu panda- I remember that thread about the reversing. Do you all play nicely take it in turns to reverse now?

VeronicaSpeedwell Wed 20-Jun-12 10:33:22

There was a neighbour aggro post a while back which involved hoovering a drive. I don't remember whether it was the OP or the neighbour doing the hoovering, but it could be an entertaining alternative to weeding.

Looking forward to not having a hike whilst carrying guitar, books etc grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 10:37:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality - I misread your 9.45 post and thought that you had moved your car to the road because you had wee'd your drive - now that, I thought, is commitment!!

Kungfu - I remember your reversing thread too - and the deep disappointment we all felt on the day when you went out, all fired up to deal with the non-reversing woman, and she didn't turn up!

We have a drive - as do all of our neighbours - and the only time anyone parks on the road is if they have workmen in and leave their drives free for their vans, or if visitors come, and there's not enough room on the drive. And before we moved here, I always lived in houses that didn't have drives - and this was all through the time when the boys were little, so I was having to wrangle small children and shopping/buggy/changing bag/car seat etc, so I remember what it was like if I couldn't get to park outside my house, and it utterly baffles me that someone can have a drive, and not use it. As far as I am concerned, it is a lovely benefit of where I live now, and I can't imagine choosing to park further away, when my drive is available (as the OP's neighbour is doing - Reality, on the other hand, is being eminently sensible).

anklebitersmum Wed 20-Jun-12 10:43:36

Gnome his driveway! Or buy pom poms and do cheers when he scuttles out to move his car into your the spot while playing the Benny Hill music really loudly.

Loving this thread..and you HAVE to win grin

Mind you I won't back on. I'll fall off the cliff knowing my luck.

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 10:54:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EightiesChick Wed 20-Jun-12 11:20:49

Marking my place to see what happens next.

We had brief parking wars when we moved here as house had been empty for a while and the opposite neighbours had got used to using it as their space for the second car. They quickly stopped though. He is still a bit funny about people parking over there but it rarely happens.

MissM Wed 20-Jun-12 11:39:25

I'd love to have a drive. Sometimes I have to park - oo, at least 10 feet away from my house. Think your neighbour needs to live in a city for a bit.

Trouble is though it is a busy road with lots of roads leading off it which really does cut down the potential for on road parking, as does all the dropped kerbs to people's driveways. There are not many on road spaces.

Many's the time I've had to park on a different road altogether, it seems a bit silly to not use a drive if you've got it down there.

curbyburr Wed 20-Jun-12 12:38:49

What you need is a celebrity comedian neighbour, I once (late nineties)had a small flat I used mid-week on Upper Thames street. All the flats in the block were small and there were no allocated parking spaces outside but there was some unregulated space out the front and down the side so everyone left their flat number on their dashboard and you'd call up if you were blocked in and there'd be some musical cars but you always got out eventually.
Martin Clunes lived next door when he was in London and seemed (liked most of us) to be elswhere at weekends When they started building a big swanky appartment block next door the builders started ramming in to our already non existent spots...but not leaving contact details.
One saturday he called up to ask me to let him out, but when i got down there was a red builders van behind me.
No problem to mr Clunes, he simply picked up a brick, smashed the window of van and pushed it nearly onto Upper Thames street.
Off he sailed to Dorset or wherever, while I parked my car in the NCP for a week in case the builder thought it was me.

Oh and he had a dog in a no pets block...cheeky sod

Lambzig Wed 20-Jun-12 12:48:31

Whereyouleftit DH says that it is 'his space' as its outside his house and no matter how many times I say "no its not, its on the public highway", he is still super-annoyed if a neighbour or someone else parks there while we are out. I admit its a nice space as its on the end so you can just drive into it so my crap parallel parking isnt too tested. He has got worse since DD was born. I always think that moving to a house with a drive would solve the problem, but obviously not.

The lady over the road puts a cone in her space when she leaves and I can see DH eying it longingly, but he knows I would really put my foot down then. She is even worse, I once parked in 'her' space as it was the only one left in our road and she came over and demanded that I move it. When I said I could not as there were no other spaces and DD was asleep upstairs, so I wasnt leaving the house to park it in another street, she yelled at me. Ten mins later the space outside my house was free and she was back demanding I move it - in the interests of keeping the peace i did, but it was a bit annoying.

shock at all this starting engines and driving a few feet. Can't be good for the engine/battery.

We've got an empty house across the road and an empty house next door.
I've got OSP for 2 cars.
There's a camper van now in situ across the road and a car outside NDN (all legal as no restrictions) but it's a narrow road . Which will get busier when these houses are occupied.
Makes it a challenge getting out some days hmm

Trioofprinces Wed 20-Jun-12 15:53:06

Marking place too - keep us updated Reality

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 15:53:46

When's he back from work?

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 16:07:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 16:09:34

How do you know he's going out again?

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 20-Jun-12 16:11:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 16:14:58

Nope. He's in for the night now I would think. shock

idococktailshedoesbeer Wed 20-Jun-12 16:20:34

Make sure you're in the space the minute he leaves. I wonder how far away the nearest space would have to be to make him park on his drive? Find out!!

Sparklingbrook Wed 20-Jun-12 16:41:46

He's gone on holiday for a fortnight. shock

notsurewhattodon Wed 20-Jun-12 16:45:57

your neighbour sounds like my dh! good luck OP. my dh is totally irrational about his "space"... there is no reasoning with him.

Sidge Wed 20-Jun-12 16:55:02

All those cone-placers have no legal right to do that so you should move them!

Put them in your garden and string bunting between them grin

Gentleness Wed 20-Jun-12 16:57:23

Can you park over your own drive, backed right up to within an inch of him?

Sallyingforth Wed 20-Jun-12 18:37:21

"All those cone-placers have no legal right to do that so you should move them!"

Leave them in place but string a collection of suitable* items between them.

* left to your imagination.

nottonitejosefine Thu 21-Jun-12 06:41:59

Reality, you don't need a flaming excuse to move your car off your drive to outside your OWN HOUSE, weeds or no weeds. Don't even say if he challenges you that you need to weed.

God, I am getting mad on your behalf angry (tis Bella here btw)

<<let me at him>>

Bratella Thu 21-Jun-12 06:57:13

do you think he's thinking the same about the batty childminder lush across the road? 'I've lived here 15 years and she thinks she can outwit me and get my parking space!' Loving this saga - and may come round just to park on the verge outside his house!

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 07:07:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 07:22:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 07:23:04

What is the current situation re location of cars Reality?

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 07:41:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 07:43:12
Mindyourownbusiness Thu 21-Jun-12 07:50:50

Reading this thread am amazed how many people move their cars to appease their deranged entitled neighbours or wont park in a valid space outside their own home which their neighbour has claimed as their own - just to 'keep the peace'.

Surely that makes these neighbours more entitled and problematic in the long run hmm.

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 08:00:21
MateyM00 Thu 21-Jun-12 08:28:20

last evening DH came hone from work to find that some one had parked outside our house angry and he had to park on our grass. The chap doesnt usually park there but a visitor had parked in 'his space'.

as soon as the visitor left, our neighbour moved his car. DH jumped up at the window. 'ooh hes moving now thats good' so i said 'are you going to move your car onto the road?'

He said ' not just yet, it'll look like i've been WATCHING'

confused But he HAD

i had the last laugh though.... another visitor drove into our cul-de-sac and DH ran out faster than shit off a shovel to claim his space.

I often say to him 'you dont own the road'
but having said that i back off because i hate parking and i claim our driveway so that i dotn have to worry about the parking at all!

TandB Thu 21-Jun-12 08:49:57

We could have a rota to sit in the space and preserve it for you, Reality.

Depending on what part of the country you are in I could possibly do around 11 to 1 as the DSs would sleep in the car and I could play on MN while smiling sweetly at your neighbour. Maybe giving a little wave every now and again.

mistlethrush Thu 21-Jun-12 08:58:21

Kungfu - you could have a stand off with the neighbour trying to get there... who's going to back down first (and I bet it wouldn't be you!)

VeronicaSpeedwell Thu 21-Jun-12 10:03:59

Good plan kungfu, though perhaps a car is not strictly necessary for space-preserving. A couple of camping chairs and a thermos might suffice.

CheerMum Thu 21-Jun-12 10:21:13

We're going on holiday in July, I'll happily leave my car outside yours if you like hehehe

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 10:23:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poorbuthappy Thu 21-Jun-12 10:45:55

Reality - we are about to upgrade our very old passat. Will sell it to you for £200 to assist in spacing blocking. It still runs, just...

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 10:52:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JKSLtd Thu 21-Jun-12 13:19:09

Loving this thread smile

So did you walk to the clarinet concert?
Has CPM's head exploded yet? grin

My Gran was like this with the road in front of her terraced house, she would make my Grandad move their car whenever she saw 'their' space had freed up. We took the piss but she never stopped obsessing about it.

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 13:22:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 13:25:18

I have found just the sign. Here grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 13:26:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quenelle Thu 21-Jun-12 14:04:19

Park on his drive.

FaceForRadio Thu 21-Jun-12 14:13:56

loving this thread grin

I feel exactly the same as hully. I can't see any reason why he'd want to do this and I NEED TO KNOW

DublinMammy Thu 21-Jun-12 14:23:19

Am pissing myself laughing at this thread, really hoping you get a collection of gnomes and the sign as suggested by Sparkling (genius!). He is a crazy man but hopefully you can break him without yourself becoming crazy in the process.....

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 14:29:43

I love these threads because although I have no idea what Reality's road/car/neighbour looks like I have it very clearly pictured in my mind. But what is the age of the neighbour? i think in my mind he is older than he is.

nottonitejosefine Thu 21-Jun-12 14:31:22

God, if only I would have known about this before I booked our hotel and parking at Gatwick for August. I would have parked in his your space.

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 14:34:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 15:03:40

Oh no, I will have to revise my picture. I had him looking like the bloke that lived next door in the Royle Family, married to Mary. grin i think as well it's because it's quite an old person thing to do, all this car shifting.

BonzoDooDah Thu 21-Jun-12 16:48:42

Woo Hoo ... love this thread. I'd had bonkers neighbour at about mid-fifties too. How about erecting a giant "get a life" sign?

stoatie Thu 21-Jun-12 17:04:02

Am flying from Gatwick soon - had booked hotel and parking but maybe I should offer to park in "the space" - and its a fairly ancient car too........

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 21-Jun-12 17:31:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carabos Thu 21-Jun-12 17:55:51

Loving this - what part of "public highway" don't these people get?

We live in a narrow terrace street. Everyone has a car, some have two. There's a lane behind the houses on our side, gardens behind the houses on the oppposite side. So, neighbours opposite think that car owners on our side should park behind our houses, leaving all spaces in the front available for them.

Problem with that is that my NDN won't let anyone park on the lane because he "needs" it kept free for kids to play safely. To ensure this, he and his daughter park their cars abreast in the lane so no other cars can come along. Cue regular fights with the neighbours on his other side (being total rebels, we don't go along with any of it and park in the front regardless).

NDN on our other side came to the door literally within minutes of us arriving with the removal van to explain the "parking restrictions" - remember, this is the public highway, and to advise us that we should go along with it as other NDN is handy with his fists.

I'm convinced that all this is not really about parking, it's about "territory" and therefore reason goes out the window.

I have pm'ed Reality with offer of professional assistance. You would not believe how many people believe they own, not only the public highway, but also about 3 metres each side of their drives so they can get into the drive more easily hmm.

We had a case last year of someone painting their own double yellow lines. shock

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Jun-12 20:32:48

There isn't actually anything Reality can do though is there? If he has road tax he can park where he likes.

Sparklingbrook Fri 22-Jun-12 18:59:01

What's the latest Reality?

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 22-Jun-12 20:43:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 22-Jun-12 20:44:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 22-Jun-12 20:47:14

And his drive continues to be empty no doubt? You are going to have to ask him. We need to know why his drive isn't used.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 22-Jun-12 20:50:15

angry for you.

Tomorrow is another day grin

Twinkleinmyeye Fri 22-Jun-12 21:01:23

LMAO at this thread and the zombie gnomes. grin

We're rooting for you, Reality...

HilaryM Fri 22-Jun-12 21:52:58

You'll just have to buy another car.

Or give up the school run! Home ed. (Extreme? Moi?) grin

tara0202 Fri 22-Jun-12 22:08:16

I also have the picture of this in my head! In my head your neighbour looks just like the mentalist parking man across the road from me who leaps out of his house every time someone moves their car out of 'his' space.

He is about 60, is a postman and likes to wear a trilby.

I am living vicariously through you Warren as I'd love to start parking in 'his' space just for the commotion it would cause but I am far too weak....grin

Devora Fri 22-Jun-12 22:30:32

grin to this thread. Makes me glad I don't have a car. Hey, come to think of it: I have a drive that I don't use. Maybe you could offer it to your neighbour? grin

Trioofprinces Sat 23-Jun-12 11:19:17

How have the last few days gone reality?

Trioofprinces Sat 23-Jun-12 11:20:33

Sorry just seen, for some reason it only showed me old messages at first confused

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 23-Jun-12 12:30:58

love the blog... good luck grin

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-Jun-12 17:26:52

What are his 'weekend movements' so to speak Reality?

scarletforya Sat 23-Jun-12 17:44:30

Start parking in his driveway and confuse the fuck outta him!

Sparklingbrook Mon 25-Jun-12 12:12:18

What's happening now then Reality? Are you winning?

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 25-Jun-12 12:18:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Mon 25-Jun-12 12:20:32

Have you got a chart? I think you need one, showing posession etc. Maybe a graph or a pie chart. grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 25-Jun-12 12:29:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FaceForRadio Mon 25-Jun-12 12:40:55

Ah, seems like he's on to you...

Does his wife look like a mumsnetter?

Sparklingbrook Mon 25-Jun-12 12:48:37

Is there not an 'App' for this Reality? grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Mon 25-Jun-12 12:50:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FoxyToughOtter Mon 25-Jun-12 13:01:19

There is a single yellow line all down our road (both sides). No parking between 8 am and 6pm. We always park in our drive.

Opposite us a guy seems to run a plumbing company from home. There seem to be 3 or 4 vans of his, one he parks in his drive overnight, which is at the back of his house (but directly opposie my driveway)the others must be used as work vans that are kept by their drivers but every morning from about 8am to 9am and afternoons from about 3.30, they are lined up on the yellow lines. Also they block a bus stop and his house is on a corner on the other side.

When they are there- opposite my drive- I struggle to get out of the drive and returning after the school run I cannot get back in without driving up the road, turning round and coming at the drive in a diagonal fashion and a lot of reversing back and forth, blocking the road whist I perform a 56 point manoeuvre. Cue lots of beeping from parents coming down from the school up the road.

I know I don't own the road, I don't want to park there, I would just like access to and from my drive. If they just pulled round the corner to the front of his house that street has no parking restrictions, they could park there no problem. But they don't because they're too lazy to walk the 20 yards back around the corner.
To top it off they sit there in their vans watching me.

I am often tempted to nudge into them while manoeuvring but it's not worth them having an insurance claim against me. It really p's me off because the lines are there for a reason, ie bus stop, junction, school.

DontmindifIdo Mon 25-Jun-12 13:01:59

You are going to have to start walking for the school run.

oldraver Mon 25-Jun-12 13:46:10

I can never understand why people get petty about parking. I've been a victim a couple of times and my mind always boggles. I once parked outside a bungalow on a street that didnt seem chokka. A lady hmm then came out asked me how long I was going to be outside the house, asked me to move said she didnt want to look at my car blah blah...when I came back there was a sticky substance all over the windscreen and side window.

I have also lived for 13 odd years in my current house (seven houses around a shared drive) and the road is almost empty as most houses have 2 car drives, didnt have any issues re parking until a new NDN moved in. Occasionally visitors have to park on the road and NDN would come out and shout at anyone outside his house.. they were never there for very long and wernt 'taking his space'. I think he also wound up the next but 1 neighbour, (who used to park his van on the road despite him having enough drive space) as he suddenly started to take his wifes car off the drive to block bumper to bumper anyone who parked outside the bungalows.

I just didnt see the point as the last time we had to ask him to 'release' a van of a visiting engineer he was in the middle of dinner and had to leave it to come out

EightiesChick Mon 25-Jun-12 20:51:46

FoxyToughOtter I would actually complain about that. It's illegal parking so different to just parking legally but outside someone else's house. Ring the counciil (you can always decline to give your name). You could report a car with no tax and someone would come out to give it a ticket so try the same with this. Think of seeing the vans have to scramble to drive away as a traffic warden approaches...

BellaVita Tue 26-Jun-12 10:40:50

What happened last night? Did you retain your parking space?

Davsmum Tue 26-Jun-12 10:47:58

I don't understand why this bothers you.
If he parks outside your house,.. without blocking your driveway whats the problem ? He is legally entitled to park there just as you are.
It IS puzzling why he does it,.. and you could ask him but if I were you I would ask yourself why this bothers YOU so much ?

TheFarSide Tue 26-Jun-12 10:58:36

It would bother me. I think it's about personal space and unwritten social rules.

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 26-Jun-12 11:27:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateAdonaea Tue 26-Jun-12 11:31:04

oooh, he's noticed and they've upped the ante grin

TheFarSide Tue 26-Jun-12 11:35:46

You need to crack on with extending the driveway and getting the dropped curb, even if it means your family starving to pay for it. Seriously.

noseynoonoo Tue 26-Jun-12 12:41:24

Oh reality, he sounds like such a pain. You need that dropped kerb.

Davsmum Tue 26-Jun-12 15:36:56

Some people think if they 'claim' a space as their own - everybody has to leave it clear for them.
The road outside your house is not yours,..anyone can park there so long as they are not obstructing or blocking a driveway.
If I was legally parked - I wouldn't give a toss whether someone in the house liked it or not.

Where I used to live - there was a bay type space outside the property next door - it didn't belong to the neighbours - but it sort of looked like it might. We checked with the council - because the neighbour used to run out and stop people parking there,..The council said it was a public space - for anyone. I started telling people they could - because he didn't own it.

You can't have people making up their own rules. Who do they think they are ?

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 26-Jun-12 15:57:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FaceForRadio Tue 26-Jun-12 16:34:59

Drop a few glass bottles on the ground. He won't park on the shattered glass will he?

He'll have to clean it all up grin

So even though he's getting the space again, you can have a chuckle while he's sweeping up all the glass.

Disclaimer: I know this is not the way to go (broken glass, small children, etc etc) But it would be funny grin

DamselInDisgrace Tue 26-Jun-12 16:56:54

This is bizarre behaviour. It is vital that you extend your drive and dropped kerb as soon as possible. Imagine how long he'll stand outside and stare then.

I lived in a row of 4 terraced houses in a short, dead-end street a few years ago. There were no houses at all at the top of the street because the houses on the main road had very long gardens, so there was loads of parking up there. Still my NDN were incredibly territorial about the space outside their house. I parked in it on the day I moved in and they came straight round to inform me that I'd parked in their space. No, 'welcome to the street' or anything neighbourly; just a lesson about where I was 'allowed' to park. hmm

They were total weirdos though. They wouldn't open their door at all if we (or any of the other neighbours) were in the street/our front gardens. They'd stand there and wait until we'd gone into the house before opening it (they, of course, wouldn't acknowledge our presence while they did this). They'd actually stand for minutes in the pissing rain outside their own front door, keys in hand, while we fetched bags from the car into the house. We speculated that they must be super hoarders or something.

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Jun-12 16:58:15

I don't like parking outside people's houses if they aren't the house I'm visiting. The thing with Reality's situation is that he has a perfectly good drive. Why doesn't he use it? confused

I NEED TO KNOW WHY HE DOESNT USE HIS DRIVE.

Mesothe Tue 26-Jun-12 17:46:09

We need to get you a car that can "car sit" your place for you.

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Jun-12 18:20:39

What Ferret said. It's eating me up not knowing. grin

BellaVita Tue 26-Jun-12 19:51:57

I would puncture his tyres or scratch his car mean bitch that I am grin

Trioofprinces Tue 26-Jun-12 19:59:42

I also want to know why he doesn't use his drive!! I he had a good reason maybe we'd all understand (as it is now official mumsnet business you know...)

Red car was parked further up tonight grin
Whose is the blue car outside? (had to hike)

Socknickingpixie Tue 26-Jun-12 20:18:51

i own (yes actually own i paid for them and everything) 4 parking spaces inbetween my house and my neighbours house (i also own the neighbours house i just dont live in it my brother does) they are propally classed as offstreet parking but look a bit like normal laybys and i used to get incensed about people using them then i figured life is far to short to fret about stuff like that so now i dont.

SoupDragon Tue 26-Jun-12 20:28:38

I think you should park outside his house at every opportunity, not yours.

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 26-Jun-12 20:45:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 26-Jun-12 20:47:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thestringcheesemassacre Tue 26-Jun-12 20:47:52

Please do. Take it right to him.

Well if you confirm to me which is his I'll certainly do that next time I'm at yours.

TBH it'll probably slow the traffic down which to be honest down there can only be a good thing.

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 26-Jun-12 20:52:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistlethrush Tue 26-Jun-12 20:54:25

Ooooh sounds a good idea.

'You park outside my house, I'll park outside yours....'

You'll have mners all queuing up to park behind you, like they were with Panda

MarysBeard Tue 26-Jun-12 20:57:35

I think people who don't use their perfectly good drive & park in front of their neighbours' house should have their drive ploughed up smile

Mesothe Tue 26-Jun-12 21:01:22

Interesting - why does he park outside of your house - not his own?!

WHY??!!

MNers need to keep their ears pricked for FILS/ fathers/ colleagues grumping about "that lady who keeps stealing my space"*

* polite version

CockyPants Tue 26-Jun-12 21:08:09

Hello Reality
I'm loving your thread.
And rooting for you. This man sounds like a twat. Is anyone here a solicitor who can send twat head a fuck off letter?
Good luck Reality!

TheFarSide Tue 26-Jun-12 21:18:53

Is there any chance he might damage your car, though, if you park outside his house? You need to arrange 24 hour surveillance.

(I know two people who have cameras rigged up at the front of their house, and they're not rich celebrities).

BellaVita Tue 26-Jun-12 22:04:19

You trendsetter you!

BonzoDooDah Tue 26-Jun-12 22:06:20

I am so loving the idea of you parking outside his house. Love, love LOVE it.

Game ON!

BonzoDooDah Tue 26-Jun-12 22:07:52

TheFarSide - does one of these people have a cat who recently visited the inside of a wheelie bin? (I mean WHY o why did that house have a camera filming their bin anyway?)

TheFarSide Tue 26-Jun-12 22:19:54

Ha ha, no Bonzo. One shows his garden in the National Garden Scheme and sometimes passers-by nick his fruit and damage his plants.

The other was doing some building work at home and had hired a skip. Someone was dumping stuff in his skip in the middle of the night so he rigged up a camera and caught them in action - he followed them home and confronted them (no violence involved).

Mesothe Tue 26-Jun-12 22:43:20

Is there any way you could post anonymous photos of The Drive and The Space (no house numbers or road names etc) so we can maybe see what his problem is.

RealityIsNOTWarren Tue 26-Jun-12 22:51:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TuftyFinch Wed 27-Jun-12 08:15:57

Get a horse and cart. Leave the cart there, forever and ride the horse.

Sparklingbrook Wed 27-Jun-12 09:12:42

Draw a picture of parking space man too. grin

Quenelle Wed 27-Jun-12 09:45:27

I think people who don't use their perfectly good drive & park in front of their neighbours' house should have their drive ploughed up

Brilliant idea. Plough his drive up and plant vegetables in it guerrilla-gardening style grin

Park your car in 'your' space. Wait until you know he's home, move it into your drive, go inside and grab a broom. When he gets into his car and starts the engine, nip outside and start sweeping the road (like if there's glass there). Smile at him while you do it. Then leave the broom inconveniently laying in the road while you go and move your car back into the space...

Of course I would never do something so passive-agressive. [innocent emoticon]

oops that is fucking evil genuis! I love it. Reality you must do that!

*genius

maxmillie Wed 27-Jun-12 11:14:58

loving this thread - just read start to finish (work avoidance) - please keep going.

ophelia275 Wed 27-Jun-12 11:50:28

Plant motion activated mines in the tarmac in the space outside your house. When he moves his car into the space, activate the mines, blow him up and then eat the remains of his body with some favva beans. Or, buy an uzi and shoot at him Rambo style when you see him.

ophelia don't be so melodramatic. OP doesn't have to shoot Rambo style. She can do it sniper-style, from behind the curtains.

<tut>

ophelia275 Wed 27-Jun-12 11:57:49

Sorry, I got carried away blush!

Sparklingbrook Wed 27-Jun-12 12:14:02
RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 27-Jun-12 14:16:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

{sorry] a sensible thought - maybe he's parking on the same side of the road as the other parked cars, so people don't need to slalom up your road? We are on a long road with not enough offstreet parking, and cars park in "bunches" on one side of the road or the other (depending on sightlines round corners). In some ways it's easier to be driving on just the "right" side fo the road, in which case you have right of way, or the "wrong" side of the road, in which case you need to pull in if something's coming the other way.

Alternatively he's just an arse and you need the uzi-gnomes grin.

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 27-Jun-12 14:32:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacakes Wed 27-Jun-12 14:37:13

If there are no double yellow lines outside his house and it is completely legal to do so, I think you should park outside his house. It'll p*ss him off no end.

thestringcheesemassacre Wed 27-Jun-12 14:38:22

Roaring at your diagram.
You have to stay the course, Reality. Stay focused.

(I'm considering putting thumbtacks on the road outside my drive as people piss me off by sitting in their cars/ doing school run therefore blocking me in)

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 27-Jun-12 14:39:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource Wed 27-Jun-12 14:49:03

Please provide a colour decoder.

I think neighbour reads MN.

mistlethrush Wed 27-Jun-12 14:50:33

Reality - if SOMEBODY did put a note on your car if you parked it there, it would give you a very good excuse to knock on their door and ask him about the paranoid parking outside your house - particularly as they can get two cars on the drive.

'Excuse me, mad neighbour, did you put this on my car? Because I'm parking there because your car, which I have seen that you can park next to your other car on your drive, is parked outside my house, and I can't get two cars onto my driveway, so need to be able to park one car on the road.'

Love the diagram you have too much time on your hands grin

I love you reality.

SoleSource Wed 27-Jun-12 14:59:09

Buy a Sherman tank. Squish the Bastardo.

LemonMousse Wed 27-Jun-12 15:37:36

Oh this is great - I was only having '10 minutes on MN' and I've just sat here and read the whole thread grin

Love the blog too smile

UterusUterusGhali Wed 27-Jun-12 16:01:21

<marking place>

I bet his son has gone on holiday. Does he live with crazy parking man?

SoupDragon Wed 27-Jun-12 16:08:51

Park outside his house.
Collect the arsey note that will appear on your windscreen.
Transfer aforementioned note to hos/his son's car outside your house.

Absolutely park in front of his house! And follow mistlethrush's suggested targeted bombing run conversation opener.

Although I still really vote for parking on his drive grin. I am convinced his wife would collude with you ...

Mesothe Wed 27-Jun-12 19:13:39

I think a lit of us would happily donate to a old wreck decoy (tax exempt) / new drive / some gnomes fund.

Imisssleepingin Wed 27-Jun-12 19:28:14

Please, please park outside his house. I am begging you to.
Infact why the hell shouldn't you ?

thestringcheesemassacre Wed 27-Jun-12 19:29:43

Don't all your family live super close (not a stalker, promise)
Get them to park all over your street, outside his house, etc etc

Gridlock the fucker

RealityIsNOTWarren Wed 27-Jun-12 19:42:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mesothe Wed 27-Jun-12 19:51:29

line them all up and place a word on each car.

This. Space. Is. Mine.

JKSLtd Wed 27-Jun-12 20:17:45

This. Road. Is. Mine. grin

abitcoldupnorth Wed 27-Jun-12 20:27:24

you see, this is why we moved to the middle of f'ing nowhere, otherwise THIS WOULD BE ME grin

jjuice Wed 27-Jun-12 20:31:53

Beamur ...I am one of those twats who parks really close behind the constant stream of family that visit my NDN.
I used to be good friends with NDN until I came to the conclusion she is a psychotic bitch freak. After we had a slanging match and she bashed me round the head with her handbag stopped talking, her family started to park outside our house..making me have to block our drive so that when my DP came home I would have to go out and move my car so he could get on the drive (his van needed to be on drive as it's too wide for the street)
Fair enough occasionally...but when it's EVERY FUCKING NIGHT and there is space for 10 cars in front of NDN car which they are driving past then reversing into space outside my house it kinda gets on your nerves.
I started to park in their radiator grill really close to the back of them so that NDN had to go out EVERY night and move HER car instead....they park in front of hers now mostly.

lookingforchocolate Wed 27-Jun-12 20:53:42

pot of paint and the word BUS painted on the road out side your house perhaps?

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 28-Jun-12 07:01:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Thu 28-Jun-12 07:03:55

Mmmm. Good extra evidence. BUT doesn't explain why he doesn't park on his drive. confused

SoupDragon Thu 28-Jun-12 07:27:29

In case the ghost of buses past blocks him in, obviously.

Sparklingbrook Thu 28-Jun-12 08:46:58
DawnOfTheDee Thu 28-Jun-12 09:06:25

<<hums 'This Space is Mine' to the tune of Brandi & Monica's The Boy is Mine>>

DawnOfTheDee Thu 28-Jun-12 09:14:11

You need to give it up
I've had about it enough
It's not hard to see
THIS SPACE IS MINE

I'm sorry that yoooooouuuuu
Seem to be confused
It belongs to me
THIS SPACE IS MIIIIIINE

grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 28-Jun-12 09:53:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CockyPants Thu 28-Jun-12 10:51:56

I would report it as abandoned upping the ante...

jen127 Thu 28-Jun-12 11:08:47

Can you enquire how much it would cots for planning permission to cobble lock your front drive and drop the kerb straight across the front and then iT'S YOUR'S All YOUR's ( cackle)

FaceForRadio Thu 28-Jun-12 11:08:58

I suspect there are bodies buried under the drive.

The drive can only support one car due to the mush of decaying bodies.

He's covering his arse I bet.

<helpful>

DanyTargaryen Thu 28-Jun-12 11:09:45

Loving this thread, posting more to mark my place rather than having anything constructive to add. grin

choccyp1g Thu 28-Jun-12 12:53:09

Yes, I am marking my place too. grin

angel1976 Thu 28-Jun-12 13:08:33

I love the diagram! grin I'm marking my place... I am sadly not involved in any parking wars but we have a similar setup in London and I get irrationally UPSET if someone else is parked outside my house...

SoupDragon Thu 28-Jun-12 13:32:00

I do love a good parking war. I get pissed off when the house over the road parks a car across their dropped kerb as it makes it more difficult to get my car off my drive without ramming into the side of theirs repeatedly. Especially as a) there is a long stretch of road which is the side of someone garden and thus clear for parking and b) he backs his van right up my dropped kerb to get it off his drive.

I would never complain but I did have a self satisfied smirk when the men replacing my garden fence parked their flatbed van across my dropped kerb making it difficult for Neighbour to get off their drive.

ZacharyQuack Thu 28-Jun-12 13:51:49

You must park outside his house in the hope of getting an arsey note. Then you can make 500 photocopies of this note and every time he parks in front of your house you can leave a copy of the note superglued on his windscreen.

SoupDragon Thu 28-Jun-12 13:54:43

Not superglue - use vaseline.

NiniLegsInTheAir Thu 28-Jun-12 14:01:45

Not vaseline - use lube! grin

Dropdeadfred Thu 28-Jun-12 14:31:06

Love this thread!!! Sat outside school reading it all!!!
How much to lower your kerb therefore disallowing him to park there?? Let's start a whip round!! grin

BonzoDooDah Thu 28-Jun-12 16:30:55

How about you casually tell all the childmindee parents calling each day that if they can't park outside your house or on your drive then they park RIGHT OPPOSITE! This will then mean a stream of people all parking in front of his house but not stopping long enough to get the note onto ... makes it normal to park there and then you can do it too?

LOVE your diagram btw.

(snorting aloud at Soupdragon and jjuice)

LoopyFuckbadger Thu 28-Jun-12 16:37:42

Parking gets right on my nerves.

Go for it, OP!!

CockyPants Thu 28-Jun-12 18:20:23

How's parking wars today OP?

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 28-Jun-12 18:25:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CockyPants Thu 28-Jun-12 18:30:28

GO REALITY!!!

CockyPants Thu 28-Jun-12 18:31:51

Oh and report blue car as abandoned!

thestringcheesemassacre Thu 28-Jun-12 18:35:02

Do it (the move) under cloak of darkness so he wakes up to it. Morning!!!!

brighthair Thu 28-Jun-12 18:41:25

I once parked diagonally across my two spaces to stop a neighbour parking there. Outside my house was space (off road) for 2 cars which was part of the plot. All other houses on road had space for one car. Asked him not to park there, showed him deeds which he said were wrong and he was entitled to park on my property angryangry
Stupid thing wa he could have parked on the road outside the house he was visiting?
He eventually gave up when in a fit of rage I pulled in my wing mirror and parked on his drivers side approximately 2mm away from him, locked the door and went for a long bath. I think he had to climb in the passenger side grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 28-Jun-12 20:06:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellaVita Thu 28-Jun-12 20:09:15

Be BOLD tomorrow! And do it.

PukeCatcher Thu 28-Jun-12 20:15:48

Put a skip in your space for a week grin

SoleSource Thu 28-Jun-12 20:19:32

What time are you moving car? I got a feeling this is going to turn really nasty sad

brighthair Thu 28-Jun-12 20:21:07

Effectively my drive yeah, it was set back from the road and I had rage every time I went in the kitchen and saw him parked there. Even a solicitors letter had no effect and he was quite frightening, shoved his foot in the door once to stop me closing it
I felt all posh and country wanting to rage "get off my land" grin

Marking my place, loving this thread, keep going Reality

thestringcheesemassacre Thu 28-Jun-12 20:41:22

Fucks yes, put a skip out there. FOREVER.

Mesothe Thu 28-Jun-12 21:25:58

Fill it with his hopes and dreams.

[grin [Mesothe]

RealityIsNOTWarren Thu 28-Jun-12 21:52:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

auntpetunia Thu 28-Jun-12 22:38:47

Hope you win we've recently had similar problem very narrow road all cars always park on opposite side from us makes it easier for everyone to get down the road, doesn't matter to us both our cars go on the drive. Old lady 2 doors down on ourside got a disabled bay painted on the road outside her house... OK bit of confusion first night but after that everyone just swapped sides EXCEPT my NDN who has insisted on parking where he's always parked on the opposite side of the road.... Why whe he could now park outside his own house! I swear I don't understand people. So now I'm just waiting for his car to get hit.

"Fill it with his hopes and dreams."

I can't actually describe the noise I made when reading that, it was sort of like "NYAH"

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 10:53:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 11:05:45

So has anything changed this morning Reality?

ByTheWay1 Fri 29-Jun-12 11:07:32

I always find a bit of judiciously placed rubbish works well a can, a bottle , some big stones - people don't like to drive their precious tin boxes over things - also plastic dog poop by where the doors would open..... No one seems to realise these things disappear when we are parked outside our house....

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 11:08:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 11:10:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 11:23:46

Do you think he put his son's car outside yours on purpose?

bogeyface Fri 29-Jun-12 11:29:34

I like your dads idea, all you are doing it prettifying it, after all wink

Pore innocent Sparklingb.

bogeyface Fri 29-Jun-12 11:30:39

Hang on, is parked just on the road is he on your verge? Or half on it? If he is then that is (I think) illegal, and it is trespass if you own the verge.

I like the idea of wooden stakes.

Perhaps you could staple face masks of Prome Ministers or Peter Andre to them. Facing his house, of course.

Rather Bastilleessque.

SoupDragon Fri 29-Jun-12 11:34:00

Get a set of stingers, put them on the verge/road outside your house and be done with it.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 11:39:06

I know Chaos, I am always searching for the good in people sad.

ophelia275 Fri 29-Jun-12 11:50:53

Hammer a wooden stake through his heart. Throw garlic at his car.

But seriously, why don't you find out how much it would cost to get a dropped curb? Surely he would not be so cheeky as to keep parking outside once you had it?

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 11:52:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 11:53:11

It does, but what is he gaining by doing that? I am a bit unsure of his tactics.

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 11:55:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thestringcheesemassacre Fri 29-Jun-12 11:56:02

Move your car woman. He has no. One back. He says oh you've parked outside my house. You say ditto. End of. Come on.

thestringcheesemassacre Fri 29-Jun-12 11:59:56

Meant comeback. Stupid ipad

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 12:01:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 12:03:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 12:04:06

So the son doesn't need the car this week then? confused But he can't park his there now? How odd.

ophelia275 Fri 29-Jun-12 12:04:24

I second thestringcheesemassacre. Move your car. If he says anything, just point out that he is parked in front of your house. How is he going to argue with that?

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Fri 29-Jun-12 12:04:38

lol, we have a neighbour who ojects to me parking my car ouside his house, even though he keeps his own car in his garage, and he can;t even see cars parked becasue of the trees in his garden. As I was unloading in the rain the other day - kids' schools bags, shooping, work briefcase, kids' sports bags - he came out OF HIS HOUSE IN THE POURING RAIN to harangue me and suggest I parked on the other side of the road hmm. Needless to say it riled me and so I now park there even if I have nowt to unload...

JKSLtd Fri 29-Jun-12 12:06:11

It is so odd, I mean most of the time people want to park as close as possible to where they're going.

What if goes shopping, doesn't he then have to keep crossing the road to unload? weird.

You definitely at least have a reason to free up your drive for your visitors with LO.

Do it Reality, do it. Find that inner strength and park outside his house

We're all behind you on this.

Take comfort in that.

grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 12:13:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 12:19:07

That is bonkers.

JKSLtd Fri 29-Jun-12 12:20:27

He really is bonkers then, it's official <bangs gavel>

Melawen Fri 29-Jun-12 12:24:09

I've been reading this with utter fascination!! But I can now say with total conviction that he is definitely bonkers!! WHY park in drive to unload and THEN move car outside your house - crackers, just crackers!!

shock

So he can actually get onto his drive then? It's not like he lacks the basic driving skills required to manuevre onto it.

I can feel my blood pressure rising in sympathy for you.

bigkidsdidit Fri 29-Jun-12 12:47:10

I'm delurking!

this thread is wonderful but the last bit is ^puzzling me

If he has some sort of ideological objection to parking on his drive, WHY block your bit with his son's car? So presumably he is forcing himself now to park somewhere he usually doesn't like to? Why? WHY??

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 12:48:19

Yes bigkids Just Why??? <wails>

Emandlu Fri 29-Jun-12 12:52:19

Why do you not just knock on his door and ask him why he feels he must park outside your house?

Bartusmaeus Fri 29-Jun-12 12:52:46

Fantastic thread about a totally bonkers neighbour.

It's the parking in one place to do something then moving the car that just throws me. I honestly can't begin to imagine why.

Please please please park in front of his house smile

Bartusmaeus Fri 29-Jun-12 12:53:18

Emandlu stop being so logical! wink

Imisssleepingin Fri 29-Jun-12 12:54:34

You MUST park outside his house. Please do it.
You'll make me so proud.

BonzoDooDah Fri 29-Jun-12 13:10:11

We're going to make banners and wave them all day until you park in front of his house do it ... dooooooooooo it ... we need you to you neeeed to!

vnmum Fri 29-Jun-12 13:29:20

I am delurking too. I have been reading this thread with fascination and wonder, as to WHY? I told DH about it and he said the man needs to get a life. He also suggested that you should go round to his and straight out ask him why he parks outside your house instead of his drive. If he then starts mouthing off at you, you then report him to the police for threatening behaviour, especially if you casually record the converstion on your phone in your pocket.

Dh's other idea was that if you got a note on your window for parking outside his house you return the note to him attached to a pick axe through his windscreen under the cover of darkness. I did say I thought this wouldn't be a viable solution grin. I think DH is feeling your angry for you grin

DontmindifIdo Fri 29-Jun-12 13:43:38

As I said earlier, I bet it's something about blocking in his DW's car that stops him parking on his drive as well - I reckon either she can't/won't back his car off the drive to get to hers, or he won't let her drive his, have you ever seen the DW driving his car?

Definately park outside his house, if he says anything, say "well there's a car parked outside ours, I don't know who it belongs to because your's is the [his car make] parked over there. By the way, we've all been talking in the road, go on, why don't you park on your drive? There must be a reason!" <big smile> if he blusters about it being a free road etc just say "yes I know, but why don't you park on your drive?"

(then come back here and tell us what he said)

mistlethrush Fri 29-Jun-12 13:45:46

Dontmind - I believe its a double width drive, so you could get either out with no moving required (unless she's a really bad driver)

JKSLtd Fri 29-Jun-12 13:46:38

Although I totally think he's bonkers, I could maybe understand if it was something about his wife's car - not wanting her to have an awkward drive off it or something.
But that doesn't explain his son's car getting involved.

It's not that he needs to park there, it really seems to be that he Reality can't park there confused

DontmindifIdo Fri 29-Jun-12 13:50:30

oh actually, MUCH better, would be to stop him and say "oh, I see you're not parking outside our house anymore and parking outside number X. Thanks so much, we were worried about having to have an akward conversation with you, we're getting a second car and so one of ours would normally be parked in that spot from now on. I didn't want it to look like we were being difficult because you seemed to not like parking on your drive and didn't want it to look like we were nicking your spot, although as it's outside our house, it's not really your spot, but you know what I mean!" Don't mention that you know the blue car is his son's car. If he tells you that it's his sons car, say "OK, so he'll have moved it by the time our second car arrives? Great!" Walk away.

NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 29-Jun-12 13:59:57

Nothing to advise, so shamelessly marking place.

SoupDragon Fri 29-Jun-12 14:02:45

If you give us all his address we can organise a rota to come and park outside the neighbour's house.

angel1976 Fri 29-Jun-12 14:07:03

SoupDragon I was going to suggest the same. grin

uselesslife Fri 29-Jun-12 14:08:50

PARK UP HIS DRIVE

LeB0F Fri 29-Jun-12 14:17:26

We need a fund to get your front garden paved, definitely. Like the opposite of a Hedge Fund.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Fri 29-Jun-12 14:23:23

Soupdragon - lol - count me in on the rota grin

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales Fri 29-Jun-12 14:25:30

So where is he parked now, if his son is outside your house?

stifnstav Fri 29-Jun-12 14:31:48

Why have you not parked outside his house yet?

For the love of god whyyyyy? Please do it! I need you to!

oh dear...I love a good parking drama.

Park outside his house !!

ilovesparklythings Fri 29-Jun-12 14:39:09

Been reading this for the last few days - its fab! (although not for you I guess - sorry! wink..) Anyway, where do you live? I've got a big car that I'm willing to park outside his house for the weekend if you're near me..

I'll bet he's watching from behind his curtains to see what you'll do now. Its your move and you've got to make it a good one!

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Fri 29-Jun-12 14:40:40

this is better than corrie!

Ladymuck Fri 29-Jun-12 15:13:20

You need to buy a caravan...

MinnieBar Fri 29-Jun-12 19:17:13

<delurks>

Call me the voice of pessimism, but I don't think you can actually win this war.

You can, however, quite easily prolong a never-ending state of stalemate which will piss him off more than you grin - stage one complete.

On another note, I can't believe that no one has commented on the fact that all of Reality's family live in the same road like it's Neighbour or Albert Square or summat

thestringcheesemassacre Fri 29-Jun-12 19:31:34

where the hell is reality?

We all need to know where her car is parked.

Socknickingpixie Fri 29-Jun-12 20:06:22

i think you should get shed loads of those toy cars the type where its like 100 for a quid or something silly like that wait till the dead of night sneek over to his and park them all very neatly all over his drive.you could even make little signs saying things like cars will be clamped or no right turn.

then make sure you watch them both in the morning now that would be funny

PelvicFloorOfSteel Fri 29-Jun-12 21:00:16

So, we don't know why he doesn't park on his drive.

We don't know why he doesn't park outside his own house, if he won't park on the drive.

We don't know why his son has a car, if he can go weeks without using it.

We don't know where he's parking, while his son is using the space outside Reality's house.

And now we don't know where Reality is.

This is rapidly turning into one of those really frustrating threads...

thestringcheesemassacre Fri 29-Jun-12 21:05:19

Only on mumsnet. 100 people waiting to hear when someone has parked their car. Hilarious!

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 21:06:18

Sounds like we need Jonathan Creek or someone to unravel it all.

ReportMeNow Fri 29-Jun-12 21:06:50

Please report the car outside your house as abandoned, maybe they'll tow it

ReportMeNow Fri 29-Jun-12 21:08:08

Bet you peek back Cheesestring!

thestringcheesemassacre Fri 29-Jun-12 21:12:54

Of course I will peek back. I'm all over this thread. Loves it.

RealityIsNOTWarren Fri 29-Jun-12 21:16:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Fri 29-Jun-12 21:18:43

Have you driven there? grin

angel1976 Fri 29-Jun-12 21:23:54

We don't care about you Reality. Where is your f**king car?

(Hope it's parked outside neighbour's house)

angel1976 Fri 29-Jun-12 21:24:06

grin

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 29-Jun-12 21:34:46

Did you park outside his house?

ReportMeNow Fri 29-Jun-12 21:41:36

It's clue: Reality wouldn't drink and drive and thus....

SugarPasteGiraffe Fri 29-Jun-12 22:19:04

COME BACK!!!!

You've sucked me into this thread and I've been lurking on it since day one and checking for updates ever since and I'm gripped by your parking saga. You can't feck off to the pub now!

grin

MinnieBar Fri 29-Jun-12 22:23:15

I have had the best idea I may have had wine :

Borrow one of those lifters that clampers use (ok, I'm hazy on the exact logistics) and then in the middle of the night move his car back onto his drive.

Obviously, you will have to set your alarm extra early just to witness the look of shock and confused and hmm and 'wtf?' on his face…

LoopyFuckbadger Fri 29-Jun-12 22:23:31

This thread is marvellous. Simply marvellous grin

Maryz Fri 29-Jun-12 22:42:47

<whispers: is it very wrong to thank you very much for a very entertaining evening? I have really enjoyed this thread>

<sniggers, a tad loudly blush>

stifnstav Fri 29-Jun-12 23:21:29

So hours later I still don't know where your car is!?? AAAARGH! Please baby Jesus let it be outside his house!

Maryz Fri 29-Jun-12 23:23:17

She got drunk lost her nerve.

Her car is in her driveway sad

[overinvolved emoticon]

So now that this is a Reality thread, can we have an update on bonkers SIL? Or have I missed one while you were NCed? How is DN?

RealityIsNOTWarren Sat 30-Jun-12 07:12:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 08:30:05

Morning. smile Blue car still in position then? I want to know where his son has gone now. angry

BonzoDooDah Sat 30-Jun-12 08:46:57

Yay ... we're off! Had to have some Dutch courge then eh Reality?

Sorry if this is stressing you out irl but think how many people's lives you have brightened by this thread. You could call it community service for saddos ... me included obviously grin

Mesothe Sat 30-Jun-12 09:00:44

You could decorate the blue car with some potted plants and some gnomes - some accessoring.

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 09:01:37

Maybe an Olympic theme Mesothe? grin

eagerbeagle Sat 30-Jun-12 09:05:36

Delurking as well in abject fascination over the parking wars.

Imisssleepingin Sat 30-Jun-12 09:06:39

Come on, the fresh air will do you good.
Do it, for the good of your country!

Mesothe Sat 30-Jun-12 10:16:17

Yes sparking! Um, red for the anger, blue for Reality's cold heart and nerves of steel against his whims and .... um white for the massive white "no parking" lines that might be appearing shortly.

buy a massive hummer. or a bus.

drop your curb on 'his' parking space.

Hamandcookies Sat 30-Jun-12 10:24:33

Has anyone suggested reusing the note you received for parking outside his house on the car outside your house? grin

SugarPasteGiraffe Sat 30-Jun-12 10:32:24

Am I the first person on this thread to sing 'The red car and the blue car had a race'?! grin

Mesothe Sat 30-Jun-12 10:45:56

This next.

thestringcheesemassacre Sat 30-Jun-12 11:18:21

Oh dear god, move the car ALREADY.

SugarPaste it's my official theme tune everytime I click onthis thread! grin

KittyFane1 Sat 30-Jun-12 11:33:48

I love this thread! grin

KittyFane1 Sat 30-Jun-12 11:38:17

ha!

CadleCrap Sat 30-Jun-12 11:41:37

grin @ mesothe

Can you get one of your neighbours/family (as they seem to be the same thing) to park outside his house so you doing more of a flanking maneouvere rather than a full frontal assult in this war?

<posting to mark place>

Ive got a really really old, broken down small tractor, that looks a right sight that I would happily donate to use save the parking space.

You are literally miles away from me, but I would tow it all the way down there just to see the CPM face!

Ill even happily park it on his drive

ifeelloved Sat 30-Jun-12 12:02:10

I'm sorry reality but you simply must park outside his house NOW! Mnetters all over the land demand it!

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Sat 30-Jun-12 12:57:41

hamandcookies brilliant!

auntpetunia Sat 30-Jun-12 13:28:08

Please tell me you've moved your car outside his house!

Tiredmumno1 Sat 30-Jun-12 13:39:15

Kitty that was hilarious grin

RealityIsNOTWarren Sat 30-Jun-12 14:05:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DH won't LET you?!? [shocked]

Leave the bastard! grin (that was my first ever LTB)

Dropdeadfred Sat 30-Jun-12 14:54:58

What?? Just move it there!!! Doesn't he know we're all living this with you??!!!

BellaVita Sat 30-Jun-12 15:11:05

Since when did you take orders from DH? I thought you were your own woman? Eh? Eh?

RollerCola Sat 30-Jun-12 15:18:10

OMG! I've just read through the whole thread in super-speed to get to today and YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MOVE IT TILL MONDAY???

Chicken wink

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 15:54:01

But Mr Bonkers might come over and have a heated debate with Mr Reality about it. So maybe Mr Reality is the chicken. wink

LeB0F Sat 30-Jun-12 15:58:28

<bork bork bork bork>

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 15:59:29

Has Master Bonkers moved the blue car yet?

RealityIsNOTWarren Sat 30-Jun-12 16:17:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 16:19:13

When? <worries>

BellaVita Sat 30-Jun-12 16:22:24

Sparkling grin

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 16:28:49

But if he is this bonkers over parking who knows what he may do? Be careful Mr Reality.

SoupDragon Sat 30-Jun-12 16:32:02

He may find himself murdered and shoved in either the boot of a car or buried under the driveway.

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 16:34:57

That's why Mr Bonkers keeps the drive clear. It's where the bodies are buried. shock

RealityIsNOTWarren Sat 30-Jun-12 16:41:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Sat 30-Jun-12 16:45:40

Are their lots of flies around the boot of the son's car?
Is there a neighbour you've not seen recently?
Where did they park their car...?

RollerCola Sat 30-Jun-12 16:48:27

I think you should go with him (take a hidden video camera) smile

When is he going? Now? I can't wait to hear what he says.

<hops about from foot to foot>

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 16:51:08

Has he murdered the son? His car hasn't moved but have you seen him?

i've gotta say reality, when i see one of your threads my heart is a little lighter.

i'm sorry that it's at the expense of crackpot neighbour though.

i've come to the conclusion that 1 in 4 people are totally unhinged. and given that statistic one of them is always going to be your neighbour, so there's no point in moving to get away from the neighbours.

i had a chat with the ups guy once who said that he's forever trying to persuade neighbours to take in parcels but they always hate each other. above and below flats being the worst.

Marking my spot as this could go on a long time......

DublinMammy Sat 30-Jun-12 18:20:05

Eek!!! Did Reality go with her DH to talk to Mr Bonkers and he has shovelled them both into the boot of his car?

Sparklingbrook Sat 30-Jun-12 18:41:10

Or worse, they have gone into the house. Mr Bonkers is probably showing them his collection of Samurai Swords or something. shock

DublinMammy Sat 30-Jun-12 19:20:43

Or his collection of moths, a la Silence of the Lambs.....

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Sat 30-Jun-12 19:43:44

grin this gets better & better

Jins Sat 30-Jun-12 19:55:33

I probably shouldn't mention this but back in my student days we discovered that between six and eight young women were more than capable of carrying a car quite some distance down a road grin

Alcohol helps