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To be (!) at this elf and safety advice for my new camera ?

(65 Posts)
sneezecakesmum Netherlands Sun 17-Jun-12 15:22:18

When operating the viewfinder diopter control with
your eye to the viewfinder, care should be taken not to
put your finger in your eye accidentally confused

Any other howlers?

Do not put remote in fridge.

On a sky remote.

May contain peanuts on a bag of peanuts

RobinSparkles United States Sun 17-Jun-12 15:25:38

The thing that makes me hmm and grin is that the reason that they put these warnings on is because some wally somewhere has actually done it!

MammaTJ Sun 17-Jun-12 15:27:53

Contents may be hot, on a cup of coffee. Well it had better be or I want my money back!

boaty England Sun 17-Jun-12 15:30:30

Pack of celery from Asda...Allergy Warning - Contains Celery....... No shit Sherlock!!!

NiniLegsInTheAir Sun 17-Jun-12 15:32:06

The coffee one is because some moron in the states sued McDonalds (I think) because he burnt his mouth on a hot cup of coffee.

Statements like these are put on things because there's always someone somewhere who wants 'compensation' for anything.

sneezecakesmum Netherlands Sun 17-Jun-12 15:40:29

No wonder we are all suffering from information overload with all this crap to wade through on a daily basis.

sneezecakesmum Netherlands Sun 17-Jun-12 15:41:49

Now its saying the strap could strangle an infant or child!

AmIthatbad Sun 17-Jun-12 15:44:22

3rd degree burns over 6% of her body. 8 days in hospital, further two years of treatment.

Sorry Nini, there is a wee bit more to it than "some moron".

squeaver Sun 17-Jun-12 15:51:56

But, you see, I have put the remote in the fridge before now.

<senile>

sneezecakesmum Netherlands Sun 17-Jun-12 15:53:27

And did it break?

Bitten off more than I can chew with a SLR camera I think. Will poke my finger in my eye just so I can stop reading the manual!

manicbmc Sun 17-Jun-12 15:55:50

'Do not operate heavy machinery or drive' on children's medication. confused

zukiecat Sun 17-Jun-12 17:00:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cozietoesie Sun 17-Jun-12 17:58:04

Do not use for drying or styling hair - on the safety instructions for an electric blow torch for stripping paint.

As RobinSparkles said - I can only guess that someone somewhere must have done it. Otherwise, there must be some real fun team meetings in the manufacturers' premises thinking up daft possible uses! Wonder what they call the team?

manicbmc Sun 17-Jun-12 18:27:03

Team Stupid grin

RobinSparkles United States Sun 17-Jun-12 19:31:06

"3rd degree burns over 6% of her body. 8 days in hospital, further two years of treatment.

Sorry Nini, there is a wee bit more to it than "some moron"."

Yeah but if I was- to burn myself with coffee that I had bought from McDonalds, after the initial "oww, I burned myself" I would have the sense to see that it was my own silly fault for not being careful with HOT coffee. I wouldn't be suing the company that I bought it from, unless, of course, it was one of their staff that chucked it over me. hmm

enimmead Sun 17-Jun-12 19:32:54

I seem to remember the COSSH warning for distilled water in eyes was to treat with water. smile

oiwheresthecoffee Sun 17-Jun-12 19:38:59

Do not iron clothes whilest on body. On an iron.
Worst thing is i know someone who did this.

Animal petite filous: warning contains milk.

shuffleballchange Sun 17-Jun-12 19:42:55

'Remove child before folding ' on high chair instructions.

'This product contains nuts' on a pack of honey roasted................peanuts.

Softlysoftly Sun 17-Jun-12 19:47:20

Product is not edible, do not eat.

On a soapstone statue wtaf? You would need troll teeth or a jackhammer.

AmIthatbad Sun 17-Jun-12 19:58:29

okay RobinSparkles , but she didn't expect the coffee to be over 180deg, and give her third degree burns. Not quite "ow, I burned myself". Her claim was to cover medical bills, not $$ signs in her eyes.

McD's QA manager admitted that the coffee they served was hot enough to burn and was a good 30 degrees hotter than other outlets would serve.

It was an interesting case, the facts of which bear little or no resemblance to the the oft repeated "idiot burned herself" anecdote.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Sun 17-Jun-12 19:59:25

The coffee from macdonalds was ridiculously hot though. That's why I caused such awful burns.
Ironic that a fast food restaurant sells coffee that takes an hour to cool enough to actually drink.

The allergy labelling (on nuts, milk, celery etc) is required by law - the manufacturer has no discretion regardless of whether it's an ingredient or 'whole' product.

NiniLegsInTheAir Sun 17-Jun-12 20:09:46

Wow I didn't realise it was that bad shock - my foggy memory remembered it as a minor burn (and a man no less). Not a moron in that case then. blush

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Sun 17-Jun-12 20:12:19

It was the way it was reported to be fair Nini. And then repeated until it entered urban myth. You are not the only one who remembers it like that

AmIthatbad Sun 17-Jun-12 20:25:12

You're not alone Nini, it is one of these stories that gets repeated over and over - and I will readily admit that until I read up on the case, I too thought "what did she expect, it's coffee" blush

CJfromTheWestWing Sun 17-Jun-12 20:28:43

I had a packet of precooked rice today which said "please remove lid before serving"!

Seriously, how else could I serve it?

When i was 14 my brother gave me a patrick cagool which was the mother of all cool and i was so chuffed until i decided to iron it blush - so do not iron!

picnicbasketcase Sun 17-Jun-12 20:31:05

I remember a case where someone burned a lump of skin off their arm by dropping some of the filling from a McD's apple pie on themselves. They aren't like eating lava anymore.

McApple pies used to be so hot! Urgh, are they lukewarm now?

RobinSparkles United States Sun 17-Jun-12 21:15:27

Ah, ok fair enough! smile

I'll admit that, thinking about it, there was a time that we went to Starbucks drive thru and DH got a black coffee. He gave it to me to hold and set off driving, they'd filled it to the bloody top and some spilled on my leg. I did curse them for making it so full, particularly as it was the drive thru!

heartmoonshadow Sun 17-Jun-12 21:20:51

Eye make up remover - avoid contact with eyes!

Firelighters - caution flammable

and my favourite ever some tablets my mum had with contraindications in cartoon format the one for may cause vomiting and diahorrea was v. funny.

Ones I've personally seen:

On the bottom of a chocolate gateaux- do not turn upside down
On a new kitchen knife- Warning! keep out of children.
On the OH's chainsaw- Caution, do not attempt to stop product with your hands
And the best one has to be on the photocopier at work- Do not attempt to photocopy body parts

trainbrown Sun 17-Jun-12 23:59:49

Caution Wet Floor, complete with a little picture of a person mopping, on a portable sign...next to the swimming pool!

trainbrown Mon 18-Jun-12 00:01:11

My hair dryer warns me "do not use in the shower"....ok so that will add 5minutes to my day then if I can't multi task in the shower!

MateyM00 Mon 18-Jun-12 00:01:48

i heard that in the safety manual on an american RV it said something like, cruise control, does not mean that you can go and make a cup of coffee

fairyfriend Mon 18-Jun-12 00:01:52

This thread is making me howl with laughter!
We bought a camping table- a really simple thing where you had to clip on the legs underneath. It came with 2 pages of instructions! I can't remember the exact wording, but there was something about pushing the legs into place with your foot, as you could trap your fingers if you did it with your hand, but you shouldn't put your whole weight on it, so there was a diagram of someone sort of leaning back and stamping on it. Brilliant!

cory Mon 18-Jun-12 00:29:31

Warning! Deep water- no swimming!

(Next to a lake in Kent. I had just emigrated from Scandinavia, and nearly turned and went back again. In my yokel innocence I thought that was what swimming was for)

Suitable for vegetarians- on a bottle of olive oil.

Buntingbunny Mon 18-Jun-12 00:46:38

DD1 is always a bit puzzled as to how she is meant to take her inhaler, as it states it "Must be kept out of sight and reach of children"

I've always drunk black coffee and people used to look confused when I put a splash of cold water in it. Nowadays lots of people drink it and understand perfectly that instant coffee with no milk to cool it is lethal.

SelfRighteousPrissyPants Mon 18-Jun-12 09:10:44

Leicester council is facing a £70K bill after a warden fell and injured himself putting up health and safety signs!

On a box of paracetamol: contains paracetamol.

And my favourite ever, although it's more common sense really:

On the label of a small toy zebra: do not iron.

grin

Bunting same here. And if I didn't, I'd still be drinking my morning brew at lunch.

Display Screen Equipment training at work
"Do not forget to blink"

Buntingbunny Mon 18-Jun-12 09:39:19

By which time we'd have been in A&E because climb everything DD1 would have found it!

DeWe Mon 18-Jun-12 09:45:08

The local infant school has a sign on their pond.
"Warning deep water"... the pond is about knee deep in reception age.

Dm's sleeping tablets: "May cause drowsiness"

I can't remember which medication it was, I think it was a cough medicine. But it was for ages 1-6yo: "May cause drowsiness. Do not drive after taking this medicine". Ds read it and said hopefully. "I haven't had any. Can I drive now?"

ages ago I bought a pizza from M&S that said on the back "caution: may be hot when cooked." I loved the possibility of doubt that was introduced with the may be hot. It would be confusing if it wasn't, wouldn't it?

"Accidents with chainsaws are rarely trivial"
hmm

Gosh, I would never have thought it.

Stropzilla Thu 21-Jun-12 18:02:27

On skiing insurance - insurance will be invalid if the individual causes damage to, or is damaged by, unauthorised use of nuclear equipment. Didn't see a lot of that when I was up the alps, but I suppose someone has for them to need to pop that on there!

phantomnamechanger Thu 21-Jun-12 18:13:36

these warnings are even funnier when they are badly translated from the original eg "do not be ironing the clothe when on the body"

On shampoo, "do not drink". A friend pointed out to me that I was working with people with learning disabilities at the time and they may have tried to drink the shampoo. I pointed out that most of them couldn't read.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Thu 21-Jun-12 18:21:19

"Do not microwave."

On an ipod dock.

wantingout Thu 21-Jun-12 18:31:00

On a frozen apple pie for home baking:
"midway through cooking time, turn pie - ROUND NOT OVER"

I wonder how many people welded their tasty fruit dessert to the bottom of the oven, before they changed the labelling?

Abbicob Fri 22-Jun-12 10:06:16

At the Olympia horse show - warning on the way in that the performance has live animals!!!!

voldemortspinkteddy Sat 23-Jun-12 00:21:42

Do not turn upside down - on the bottom of the packet. (fudge pudding)
I kid you not. grin

Stopsittingonyoursister Sat 23-Jun-12 00:28:56

@MateyM0o - there was a case, unless it is an urban myth that I am repeating as fact, that an American couple bought a large camper-van style vehicle, put it on a cruise control, left the driving seat, and then sued the manufacturer when the vehicle subsequently crashed, as they thought "cruise control" meant they didn't actually need to drive/steer/brake. Hence the warnings in the manuals now.

hallgreenmiss Sat 23-Jun-12 20:18:15

Have to add my agreement to the criticism of ridiculously hot coffee, not just in McDonalds. Whilst not wishing to drink tepid coffee, I find normal boiling point to be quite acceptable with enough room in the cup to put in some cold milk.

xDivAx Sun 24-Jun-12 00:02:07

mateymoo I know this one! Some woman bought an RV which had cruise control, was driving down the motorway, put cruise control on, and went to make coffee. Obviously ended in an accident! Then she sued the company.....and won!

My oh works in health and safety so gets the full round up of these stories. You won't believe some of them!

Luckily for me, oh is sensible but not over the top with health and safety as you might expect!

I am pmsl at some of these though.

Pfft nanny culture!

musicposy Sun 24-Jun-12 00:30:28

We bought a dishwasher a few years back that had the longest list of ridiculous don'ts ever. They filled a good page of the manual.

Some were -

Do not stand on the open dishwasher door.

Do not allow children to climb in the dishwasher or swing from the basket racks.

The dishwasher is for the washing of cutlery, crockery and kitchen utensils only. Never wash other items in the dishwasher. (to be fair I did used to put the DD's bath toys in it, which makes you wonder how many other people are disregarding the warnings!)

Do not put porous items in the dishwasher or plastics which are not dishwasher safe. (socks wrapped in clingfilm, maybe?)

Never wash pets in the dishwasher. (WTF?? Who would even consider this as an idea?)

The above is only a small selection grin

Once had a tiny radio controlled car where the leaflet had been translated from (I think) Japanese. It said one should "beware quilt involvement". confused

CouthyMow Sun 24-Jun-12 02:02:05

Ok, this thread is making me PSML. Here is my favourite from my medicine cabinet :

Warning, may cause constipation on an anti-diarrhoea medicine...

And some blinders from the DC's toy instructions :

Beware clothing involvement on a badly translated set of instructions that i think was translated from Japanese from a toy RC car.

Do not point into the sky on a children's telescope.

Be wary of accident in non-light on the instructions of a glow in the dark toy.

And, of course, contains milk on a 4-Pinter of, well, milk.

I get the need for a warning of allergens, having a DC with a dairy allergy, but even a fool like me knows that milk will contain MILK.

aurynne Spain Sun 24-Jun-12 03:03:51

ROFL at "elf and safety" on title... Perhaps elves have a tendency to stick fingers in their own eyes when taking photos? :P

GreatGretzky Sun 24-Jun-12 03:27:48

On a new iron 'do not iron clothes while you or another person are wearing them'...please tell me no one was ever stupid enough to actually do that!

musicposy Sun 24-Jun-12 10:45:07

I ironed my bump once whilst pregnant but it was accidental - I'd forgotten it was there blush I thought that was pretty dumb of me but to do it deliberately would have been a whole new level of stupidity!

phantomnamechanger Sun 24-Jun-12 15:09:07

to the poster who thinks there is no one daft enough to wash a pet in the dishwasher......

wasn't there an animal (small dog I think) killed not that long ago by someone thinking they could dry it in the microwave?

We may laugh at the nanny state and elf and safety, but in many cases its because too many people are incredibly stooopid!

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