To STILL be embarassed 2 weeks later (Firemen related)

(122 Posts)
OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 21:59:52

Hi Ive namecanged as IRL this is TOTALLY identifiable (sp??)

Two weeks ago I was just about to turn in for the night when I decided to put into our loft a large piece of loft flooring.

2.4m by 80cm or so.

I stood on the ladder and got DS1 (13) to help me.

All was going well untill the board went past the "tipping point" at which point it over balanced and trapped me.

I had started the whole thing wrong and so ended up facing backwards on the loft ladder with the (bloody rather heavy) board trapping my neck against the lost hatch surround.

NOT a good situation to be in. I was carrying the weight of the loft board and was slipping further and further down so was getting more and more trapped.

The DCs got my nephew round to help but when he moved the board it just trapped me futher.

Que calls to 999 and me shouting from the loft to their request for an ambulance " I AM breathing, do NOT send a paramedic !!!"

Soooooo, much to my relief the firemen arrived and I am quickly freed.

TWO engines ( shame , shame) and a paramedic car ( double shame)


and here is my AIBU fot STILL cringing every time I think of it.

I was wearing my swimming costume .

Im just cringing as I sit here, sigh ... will it EVERY go away

squeakytoy Wed 30-May-12 22:02:07

come on.. you have to tell us why you had a swimming costume on... had you been practising standing on a diving board using this loft board??? grin

HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's not what you want to hear, but hahahahahaha!

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:04:06

As I came down the ladder to 5 firemen in full rig I said
"Oh its like a fantasy, Ill cross it off my bucket list "

titferbrains Wed 30-May-12 22:04:14

sorry, can only titter at this

Hassled Wed 30-May-12 22:04:33

Why why why? You were about to turn in for the night - is that what you sleep in?

Cassettetapeandpencil Wed 30-May-12 22:05:16

Ahahahahahahaha! I've been down all day but you're thread just made me laugh for the first time in hours!

Sorry, no sympathy here but thanks for sharing.


OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:05:30

I did see the funny side , once id calmed down a bit ( got a bit wobbly for moment)
but OMG of ALL the days !!!

WHY !!!

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:06:03

I dont sleep in a swimming costume

slowlyburningcalories Wed 30-May-12 22:07:04

I'm crying, I'm sorry, DH thinks it's perfectly normal to wear a swimming costume to fit loft boards. Keeps the dust off your clothes

onepieceofcremeegg Wed 30-May-12 22:07:22


omletta Wed 30-May-12 22:07:39

So why? Oh why?

McHappyPants2012 Wed 30-May-12 22:08:35

pmsl that all i can say, and in my family this would be a story that comes up with all the other old stories are told.

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:08:36

It was one of those moments when you think

"Ive been looking at the blasted board for a WEEK, Im going to put it in the Loft NOW "

RedBlanket Wed 30-May-12 22:09:15

How awful for you <snigger>

Swimming costume?

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Wed 30-May-12 22:09:46

LOL at 'cross it off my bucket list' grin

Heeheeheeheeheehee sorry that's the funniest thing I've ever read!!!! grin

AngryBeaver Wed 30-May-12 22:13:28

Oh,that is priceless!Well done.Well done. <holds up a 10 > grin

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:13:51

The swimming costume followed a ( I like to think) logical sequence.

a) Decided to try on new costume for DD to "OK"
b) Decide to put board in loft
c) Think , no point in getting dressed, Im off to bed in a mo.
d) Think, Dont put on robe, it will get in the way.

OBV c and d were taken with out the thought of 5 firemen.

they were treated to my lower portion only on the ladder, as hairy as a yetti (I could have PLATTED my leg hair) and my first word to them ( even before i was rescued ) was

"I can explain the swimming costume"

Sittinginthesun Wed 30-May-12 22:14:56

DH and I laughing! Were you trying on your swimming suit and suddenly decided that the loft floor just couldn't wait?

Omg actually crying now!! grin

Thetokengirl Wed 30-May-12 22:16:49

YANBU. Reckon you should be embarrassed for a bit longer--like twenty years-- yet.

So, why a swimming costume?

Go on, you know you want to tell us. grin

D0G Wed 30-May-12 22:17:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thetokengirl Wed 30-May-12 22:17:39

Thanks o telling [ grin]

Knittingmamma Wed 30-May-12 22:20:07

Priceless!!! grin

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:21:28

Id only bought the blasted thing that day.

Its not even that it was figure hugging and well cut.

It was sized for 12-13 year olds ( A very "fetching" multicoloured version from asda) but it wa cheap and i was only "just" outside the height range.

Que ddrollign eys at me as id be in the same costume as her friends.

Not so much angelina jolie as angleina balerina ( oh the leg hair was terrible !!!)

BikeRunSki Wed 30-May-12 22:21:39

I think the whole fire crew + engines has to go out together when they go out at alm in case they are all called away to a, ahem, proper incident.

<mother of three year old obsessed with fire fighters, read a lot of books about firemen>

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:22:11

DOH "DD rolling eyes at me"

PissyDust Wed 30-May-12 22:23:22

PMSL. Sorry. So very funny grin

To help make you feel better I once had a fire crew called because I got my arm trapped between a fridge and a shelving unit and they had to saw me free.

I was heavily pregnant and only wearing DH's boxers and a vest top [cringe]

To make matters worse I was alone when I became stuck and had to shout for help, a neightbour climbed over my garden fence to come and call 999 help.

BellaOfTheBalls Wed 30-May-12 22:25:19

I'm crying.

It genuinely sounds like a sketch from Miranda.

Noqontrol Wed 30-May-12 22:25:20

Oh my god that's fucking hilarious. YANBU to be cringing 2 weeks later. Or even 2 years later gringringrin

MadamFolly Wed 30-May-12 22:25:48

At least you wern't naked grin

Sam1973 Wed 30-May-12 22:26:46

Thanks OP, that will keep me smiling for weeks grin)

BeautyBoo Wed 30-May-12 22:27:56

Hahaha. At least whenever you feel down you can think about this and have a little giggle! Bet you cheered up the firemen aswell, they were probably having a terribly boring shift until you called!!

julieann42 Wed 30-May-12 22:28:26

I haven't laughed so much since I read the thread about the spray painted pigeon!

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:28:39

I tried to put a jolly "spin" on the whole thing and was chatting to the firemen about how they must go to

"all sorts of embarassing situations, at least there wasnt a large cucumber involved"

Fire mans reply

"On that note, we're leaving "

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:29:22

they will have talked about this at the station wont they , they will I just KNOW it

fishface2 Wed 30-May-12 22:29:52

Thanks for sharing this - brilliant

ravenlocks Wed 30-May-12 22:30:13

Just snorted with laughter!! Oh, and why did you wait 2 weeks to tell us this??

Thetokengirl Wed 30-May-12 22:31:40

large cucumber
grin It just gets better.
Thank you for cheering me up. Off to bed now must remember not to put on swimming costume and get head stuck

HumpheadWrasse Wed 30-May-12 22:31:49

grin thanks for this OP

flamingtoaster Wed 30-May-12 22:33:05

Absolutely brilliant - I think they should invite you to one of their training sessions so they can re-create the rescue. smile

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:33:25

Raven : I kept thinking of posting then thought no, its not THAT bad, if i stop thinking of it it will all just gooooo away.

I think this is the psychilogical (sp) way of "lancing the boil" so to speak,.

OliverCromwellLivesOn Wed 30-May-12 22:36:07

Tell me you didn't really make the cucumber remark!

MrsBucketxx Wed 30-May-12 22:36:12

has to be a mn classic.

soon funny grin

May I be the first to say this needs to be in Classics grin

QwertyQueen Wed 30-May-12 22:36:28


ravenlocks Wed 30-May-12 22:37:25


OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:37:39

AS they were getting me out there was a moments discussion between them as to which way they should take the board e.g. up into the loft or down in to the hall.

Que me shouting " Up , up, go over me , I dont want it BACK in the hall"

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:38:24

Oliver : I did , I really did, ( Oh God) I balme the rush of endorhins or whatever

Unlurked Wed 30-May-12 22:39:19


hahahahahahaha grin


OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:42:22

There was quite a bit of professional "silence" as not one of the 5 firemen asked exactly why I was in a swimming costume.

At least the paramedic lady didnt have to get me to roll up my sleeve for the blood pressure monitor.

<cries with laughter> You will be a story that those fireman tell people for YEARS!!!

MaureenMLove Wed 30-May-12 22:45:09

And THIS is exactly why I ignore all the shit going on around the MN boards, in the knowledge that one day, someone will post something so ridiculously funny, it reminds me why I love MN! grin

God love you OP - hilarious! grin

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 30-May-12 22:45:21

Que me shouting " Up , up, go over me , I dont want it BACK in the hall

Brilliant. Desperately stuck but still practical. Soooo MN.

[pins badge on OMG's swimming costume]

Itsgottabebags Wed 30-May-12 22:46:40

Maybe if there is every a charity calender you could be the May Girl posing in your swim suit in the same position!

They could call it the twelve most memorable...

maples Wed 30-May-12 22:48:26

Thank you for the story grin YANBU gringrin

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 22:49:08

Im thinking of sendign a cake and a sample "Safe use of equipment : Fire brigade advice" leaflet.

a) Chain sawing : Picture of safety trousers
b) welding : Picture of safety mask
c) General DIY : Picture of swimming costume.

I think I should donate to their "fund" down at the station, theres going to be PTSD for the lot of them. I might only be small ( eg 12-13 costume) but Ive had 4 kids.

Thats not a sight you want ot see from below, under strain on a ladder.

ToryLovell Wed 30-May-12 22:50:46

grin You will get good karma from making us laugh

OMG I needed this tonight.

Cucumber! You didn't!


Are you likely to see any of them on the street? You know, out of uniform? would they recognise you?

Selks Wed 30-May-12 22:57:33

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! grin

Simply awesome, the whole thing.....particularly the cucumber comment and the instruction that the board MUST go into the loft!

They will be chuckling about this for weeks at the firestation grin

(sorry OP)

OMGwhyohwhy Wed 30-May-12 23:03:28

Oh well , best get off to bed now ( NOT in a swimming costume)

It is funny, I get a sort of "why??" face when I tell people IRL about the swimming costume.

At least it wasnt bondage gear !

night night ,gald I gave you all a laugh grin

CardyMow Wed 30-May-12 23:07:38

Until you have been put in an ambulance, carried out past all your neighbours who were having a nose at why there was an ambulance on the path, when you were without any trousers, due to having had a seizure whilst sitting on the loo, you don't know what embarassment IS. When you bear in mind that they wheeled me INTO A&E without a blanket, as it kept falling off, PAST MY (then) DP's WORK COLLEAGUES, and just two weeks later I had to go to a formal meal with them all...

<<Curls up and dies of shame>>

toofattorun Wed 30-May-12 23:18:57

Oh my goodness!! I just peed a little bit!!

Toddle Wed 30-May-12 23:21:19

I didn't think it would be possible but you have honestly put a smile on my face at the end of a really horrid day. Not only that but I'm now getting twingyness in my below parts grin. I'll be mightily cheesed of if I didn't actually need my bits stretching and sweeping to within a inch of my life as this thread would have sorted it.

So YABU in having kept this to yourself for two weeks grin

Enragia Wed 30-May-12 23:24:26

I've been in the loft. In bra and pants a lot. ESP when hot or as when pp says you can't stand looking at it anymore.

Enragia Wed 30-May-12 23:24:57

And ew toddle. Way tmi

bumbleymummy Wed 30-May-12 23:25:48

Brilliant! grin DH was wondering what I was laughing at and I've just kind of squealed it at him between snorts...I got a raised eyebrow. Clearly I didn't tell it as well as you!

QuietTiger Wed 30-May-12 23:28:28

THanks for sharing this OP - I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breathe!

One of the funniest things I've read for a while. Thank you! grin

ThatsDope Wed 30-May-12 23:32:52

Omg, you read this then get to the 2nd last line and LAUGH SO LOUD and CAN'T STOP! Bless you grin

anonacfr Wed 30-May-12 23:43:34

'I can explain the swimming costume'!


Was just BFing DD (1) and laughed so hard she half woke up from sleep-nursing and started giggling... Heh!

LucieMay Wed 30-May-12 23:44:40

Gosh that funny... it was amusing at first... then the bit about the swimming cossie made me laugh even more... and the hairy legs bit was just the icing on the cherry! They do say it's better to be ridiculous than to be boring! wink

DailyMailSpy Wed 30-May-12 23:46:56

Oh dear, I'm cringing on your behalf! Cheer yourself up by popping over to the "AIBU to have carried on regardless?" thread and read some more cringeworthy stories!

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 30-May-12 23:49:43


sadly, the police never seem to engender the same response as firemen (or as a colleague calls them, dennis and the rock apes....long story!!)

i just get called a cunt fairly frequently.

your story will send me to bed with a smile on my face though OP. you did a good thing. honestly.


Noqontrol Wed 30-May-12 23:55:13

Oh cardy I am sorry. That's kinda rubbish . That reminds me of my attempt to give birth at home which didn't work out. The neighbours clearly heard the screaming through the walls, and were out there watching as I was wheeled out of the house by the paramedics in one of those ambulance chair things, with the blanket slipping too blush

Joolyjoolyjoo Wed 30-May-12 23:56:33

Thanks for making me grin, OP! All you need now is a beret, a wife called Betty and a silly accent... grin

SageYourOracle Wed 30-May-12 23:58:53

I swear I'veI almost ruptured my c-sec scar laughing at this. Too, too funny especially the image of plaitable leg hair! Definitely the funniest thread since Bob, the spray painted pidgeon! Thanks OP!

GimmieChocolate Thu 31-May-12 00:01:10

I can assure you they would of been to a lot worse! Yes this will be one of their funny stories and they would of giggled in the pump on the way back but trust me they wont of thought anything bad - even of the hair! You got 2 fire engines as that would of been standard for the "incident" that was described to the control room and yes, you do get everyone as the engine can't go out without a minimum number of crew on it.

Please don't feel too embarrassed! It is funny though must admit!!

TheSecondComing Thu 31-May-12 00:07:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyCeratops Thu 31-May-12 00:08:03

I fell off my pony and broke my arm. It was a bad break and I dared not move. I weigh 14 stone. It took 3 paramedics to get me up from the floor! I was mortified! You aren't alone!

SaggyCeratops Thu 31-May-12 00:09:57

TSC, I remember that! "my GOD, your MINGE! " grin

TheSecondComing Thu 31-May-12 00:13:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 31-May-12 00:14:06

TSC....your minge is famous.
in fact - isnt it in classics? grin

WorraLiberty Thu 31-May-12 00:19:36

Oh this thread has made my day grin

CardyMow Thu 31-May-12 00:19:59

<<Creases up remembering TSC's minge>>

Sorry TSC, had to be done!

CardyMow Thu 31-May-12 00:20:29

<<Goes off to reread classics, in need of a good larf.>>

empirestateofmind Thu 31-May-12 00:26:48

OMG that is hilarious- I love your story! grin

Cardy- awful awful awful. I am cringing for you sad.

Earthymama Thu 31-May-12 00:35:51

Thank you so much, twas my birthday and I'm very stressed by preparations for my fast approaching CP!!
You have made me roar with laughter!
I also love TSC's story.
Women in (or out of) your cozzies, I salute you!! gringrin

Solo Thu 31-May-12 00:39:51

'I can explain the swimming costume' tears ->>> ``grin``

CardyMow Thu 31-May-12 00:45:04

It's fine, it was a few years ago now, and I can giggle about it now. grin.

Solo Thu 31-May-12 00:53:49

Surely, this is one to tell the Grandchildren...!

OMGwhyohwhy Thu 31-May-12 05:56:23

thanks for all the replies , it was funny, even at the time, and TBF it was "almost" worth it for the reaction I get when I tell people IRL.

OH well, lesson learnt , BIG time, off to read TSC thread now

Jacksmania Thu 31-May-12 06:06:25

I'm sorry but I have been forced to report this thread for causing bodily harm.

I laughed so hard I fell off my chair grin

This must go in Classics. It simply must.

OMGwhyohwhy Thu 31-May-12 06:09:21

Oh poor TSc
LOL at her DH mouthng across the pool "Your minge!!!"

and had I waxed my bikini line ??

Oh no, oh no , not. at. all.

if id KNOWN that there were going to be 5 firemen staring at my nether regions I would have put a lOT more effort in.

Oh, oh ! I could have been in killer heels. I would only need to look good from the waist down.

afterwards I joked with my DD that I should have refused to let the fire men in and demanded my epilator first !!

Not sure what they would have made of the "buzzing" sounds though ?

twofalls Thu 31-May-12 06:27:51

That is so funny.

"I can explain the swimming costume"


Also D0G waving like a loon at a fire engine whilst DS was deadpan

Thank you. Very funny.

marshmallowpies Thu 31-May-12 06:43:14

I trapped myself in my bedroom on Xmas eve (the door handle came off in my hand & I lived on my own then) & had to contemplate calling the fire brigade when I couldn't find a locksmith prepared to come and get me out.

The fire brigade would have broken a window to get me out & I didn't want to leave the flat with a broken window over Xmas (I was going away for 2 nights) so pleaded with a locksmith until he agreed to come and get me.

The bit no one knows (except DH who has heard this story) - I was so desperate for a wee I weed into a plastic bottle I luckily had in the room, standing over a towel to catch any overflow.

I thank my lucky stars I had my phone in the room with me that night!

OlaRapaceFru Thu 31-May-12 06:43:14

This thread is absolutely hilarious - I'm going to have an image of a swimming costume clad bottom and hairy legs dangling out of a loft hatch stuck in my mind all day now. grin

I think your idea of a cake and 'safety leaflet' sounds brilliant - I'm sure they'll all have another ROFL moment really appreciate it. wink

5inthebed Thu 31-May-12 06:59:06

Bloody hell, have just stopped laughing. Funniest thread I've read in a while.

Please, tell me who you really are on MN

Birnamwood Thu 31-May-12 08:47:10

Can someone link to bob the spray painted pigeon please?

Op, thank you for that laugh and I think you should definitely send that

Fillybuster Thu 31-May-12 09:34:46


<rolls on the floor with ears flowing down face>


Another vote for Classics.

I luff MN when we get threads like these smile

Thank you OP smile smile

MeKathryn Thu 31-May-12 09:42:31

So funny! grin

Will have to tell dh as it makes his fire engine story seem very tame so he'll be less embarrassed.

MaisyMooCow Thu 31-May-12 09:50:54

Thanks for making me grin

Fecklessdizzy Thu 31-May-12 09:58:37

Oh, that's perfect ... gringringrin

And in answer to your OP Nope, it never ever will ... grin

Eskarina Thu 31-May-12 10:47:36

Now I feel almost normal that the postman saw me starkers through the window in the sleep deprived hell that was the first few weeks of dd's life!

BiddyPop Thu 31-May-12 12:51:12

Our next door neighbour had a small chimney fire a few years back - and did admit that she was quite happy with the big burly firemen coming to her assistance. She hasn't lived it down since though, as the rest of the neighbours bring it up regularly in our backgarden BBQs or shared kitchen suppers (we're a sociable road)....I think the rest of the ladies are jealous, while the gents get a great laugh from it all.

BiddyPop Thu 31-May-12 13:12:31

OK, having read the entire thread and not just the first post - THANK YOU!!! grin

I have actually had to use a wadge of tissues to cover up the laughter and snorting, and mop up the flood of the tears (and I have a single use office - but the door is open to the corridor). I sdon't think I have been so uncontrollably responsive to a thread before. And it is much needed.

The cucumber was bad enough, by the time I got to the plaited hair, I was trying not to fall off my chair.

OlaRapaceFru Thu 31-May-12 17:07:29

I managed to put this out of my mind this morning, whilst at work (and we're not allowed 'internet misuse'). Has anyone asked MNHQ to move it into Classics yet? grin

JamieandTheOlympicTorch Thu 31-May-12 17:11:16

This is the beginning of a very strange porno

Cutelittlecatlover Thu 31-May-12 17:30:04


Op you are a fucking legend grin

rainydaysarebad Thu 31-May-12 17:37:03

Hahahahaha!! Luckily I swallowed my coffee sip before reading you reading you were in a swimming costume!! Oh the shame!

klaxon Fri 08-Jun-12 14:10:08

I must be the only person who heard the opening scenario and thought loft diving board wasn't I? grin

Thank you MNHQ for bringing this to my attention via the Talk Roundup.

And thank you OP for your selfless devotion to lunacy and comedy anecdotes.


<<goes to lie down to recover from laughing fit so loud the cat is now giving me kitty evils for waking it up>>

lovebunny Fri 08-Jun-12 17:28:15

thank you for that lovely story! i'm glad you weren't further harmed. don't worry about the firemen - it will be one of their happier rescues.

itsMYNutella Fri 08-Jun-12 18:07:29

Ahhahahahahahahaha!! Sorry OP but thank you MN for putting this in the round up.

Laughed so hard I was crying on the keyboard... ahhh brilliant. Thank you!

TheFarSide Fri 08-Jun-12 18:17:14


Queenofcake Fri 08-Jun-12 18:29:05

grin OMG!! I am laughing soooooooooooo much!! Your tale of woe has really cheered me up.

Have to say - I think maybe you shouldnt have said anything at all if it was only references to cucumbers you could make! wink grin

SkivingAgain Fri 08-Jun-12 18:29:48

Another thank you for OMG and to MN for bringing this to my attention. grin

MammaTJ Fri 08-Jun-12 20:00:11

Aw, thank you so much for sharing that. No YANBU!! So funny though!!

drummerswife Fri 08-Jun-12 20:20:18

brilliant op
made my day reading this thread

2kids2dogsnosense Sat 09-Jun-12 08:50:29

This is priceless! I thought I was the only one who ridiculous things happened to, but I have a sister in idiocy. Way to go, girl.

(When I used to recount my daft doings at work, people would just look at me as though I were mad. I began one story with - "I knocked myself out again last night" and everyone was going "Again? AGAIN?" NOT ONE OF THEM HAD EVER KNOCKED THEMSELVES OUT! I couldn't believe it - without even thinking about it I can name a double handful of occasions that I have rendered myself unconscious. If I searched my memory properly, I could probably come up with a score.

It does, however, explain why I am so dippy - there must be little blank bits all over my brain.)

NonAstemia Sat 09-Jun-12 10:24:21

grin grin grin

Very very funny OP! That just got my morning off to a happy start, the cucumber remark being the cherry on the cake - that's just the kind of remark I'd make and then cringe about afterwards.

Also laughed very hard at the image of D0G waving like a loon while her DS sat deadpan in the back. grin

There's just something about firemen, isn't there. Many years ago I lived in a top floor (2nd) flat and my large burmese python escaped out of the window and onto the flat roof above. We eventually had to call the fire brigade to help get him down (although none of them would pick him up so I had to go up their big ladder with a big burly fireman right behind me and put him in a bag which they winched down). There was a middle aged lady living in the flat below who was out at work at the time. Someone must have told her (we lived opposite a pub and it'd drawn out the lunchtime crowd to watch) because she came charging upstairs in the evening and knocked on the door. I thought she was going to freak out about living underneath the snakes but she said
"I understand there were firemen here today to rescue your snake?"
"Yes" I replied nervously
"I'm going to give you my work number... if that ever happens again I want you to phone me at work immediately and let me know. Ok? Can you do that?"
<<scribbles down number>>
"Okaaaay..." says I, confused. She handed me the piece of paper, looked me meaningfully in the eye and said
"I like firemen. They give me sticky knickers." shock grin

She was an odd woman (clearly!) - she used to have a much younger man regularly visit, have very very loud sex at around 4 in the morning, and then... this is the odd bit... always hoover for at least ten minutes afterwards. confused We speculated endlessly about this (I was a teenager and we were often up sitting around stoned out of our heads at that time with friends still round) but it remained a mystery.

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