To ask male gym instructor to 'show' a little less

(69 Posts)
Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 19:44:31

AIBU to ask our rather nice new instructor to wear something other than very close fittIng lycra shorts? He seems to be quite a 'show-er' but his attributes attract way too much attention and discussion. I seem to find my eyes wandering a little during sessions and sometimes I have to get closer to the front to prevent others from getting distracted too! On the plus side I have lost half a stone. Seriously, what should I do - public decency is being outraged!

Tortington Wed 30-May-12 19:45:29

oh hell no - now where is this gym?

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Wed 30-May-12 19:47:33

I think it is so good of you to get closer to the front to prevent others being distracted - you are providing a wonderful service.

Name of gym?

lashingsofbingeinghere Wed 30-May-12 19:48:20

Yes please do ask him to start wear proper baggy shorts. You will get a real eyeful then instead of teasing glimpses.

mumblechum1 Wed 30-May-12 19:48:39

Which days and times does he teach <<makes note>>

Try not staring as his cock and nadgers hmm

Dirty cow ..... grin

TidyDancer Wed 30-May-12 19:49:52

I'll want to avoid this gym forevermore. Please inform me which one it is so I don't go to the wrong one.

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 19:58:04

I get the sense you are not taking this seriously! And maybe you don't believe me and would all like to make your own judgement? And that suggestion about baggy shorts is just rude! (imagines being hypnotised watching something swing from side to side...)

yellowraincoat Wed 30-May-12 19:59:12

I agree with the others, this sounds awful. I'll need his name so I can report him to the correct authorities.

ifeelloved Wed 30-May-12 19:59:48

I think we can't make an informed decision unless you tell us which gym it is and which classes he takes!

ShatnersBassoon Wed 30-May-12 19:59:54

I love your selflessness in trying to protect those of a less pervy worldly nature, but looking closer at his penile bulge won't use up the view and make it disappear. Nice try though.

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 20:11:53

Would love you all to come but the class is full. The other ladies nominated me to say something they were so shocked and appalled. This is quite a delicate matter to handle, so to speak.

TidyDancer Wed 30-May-12 20:28:53

You'll be needing some surveillance footage. When you go to the authorities, they will want to know what sort of thing they are dealing with. If it helps, you could film, upload onto youtube, and then we could check it out for you. This way you wouldn't have to put yourself through such horrific material again, but you would have some mature and considered opinions as to whether you need to report him as an emergency, or continue filming for more evidence.

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 20:33:07

TidyDancer that's more like it - a practical suggestion. Do I have any brave volunteers to lend a hand with the surveillance so it isn't too obvious?

IvanaHumpalot Wed 30-May-12 20:35:16

So all of the FULL CLASS is SHOCKED and APPALLED? I say again FULL CLASS...

ThePathanKhansWitch Wed 30-May-12 20:35:51

Terrible and distracting I would imagine... would you like me to check it out for you? Pm me the details. This can't be allowed to continue. Tsk!

HmmThinkingAboutIt Wed 30-May-12 20:37:13

I think you should wear something really sexy and tease him. That way you can really tell if hes a shower or a grower. I don't think you can really tell unless you do that. Be sure to take to photos for the MN Jury, so we can really decide if you are being unreasonable or not.

ThePathanKhansWitch Wed 30-May-12 20:37:59

Scarlet is this a stealth boast about the size of your personal trainers todger hmm?, I've just noticed the class is full comment.

Bet you never shared as a child.

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 20:39:01

Yes, Ivana. I think it must be people trying to get fit for the summer. Strange that it's all women as well. And you can tell how shocked they are by how much they stare.

CrispyCod Wed 30-May-12 20:40:34

Starting to visualise Eric Prydz stylee gym.

HmmThinkingAboutIt Wed 30-May-12 20:43:56

You know its rude to stare now don't you scarlet. I thought they taught you that when you are still a child. You have no excuse.

Whatmeworry Wed 30-May-12 20:45:05

I am The Authorities, please send all information and videos here to perve for review.

Of course, we shall have to install secret cameras for a number of months weeks to gather sufficient video evidence.

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 20:47:56

Glad to see that The Authorities are now involved. I hope you will be thorough and examine all the evidence.

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 20:53:44

HmmThinkingAboutIt - what do you suggest i wear to enable me to test your hypothesis? And what reaction am I looking for?

Whatmeworry Wed 30-May-12 20:59:04

I hope you will be thorough and examine all the evidence

We will examine every twist and turn of the evidence very closely. The long arm of the law is determined to keep a very firm grip on this.

Oddly enough every WPC in the building has volunteered for this case....

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 22:10:57

I have the class tomorrow. Maybe i should just be very blunt and to the point with him. any suggestions for a conversation opener?

ShatnersBassoon Wed 30-May-12 22:29:03

I would be really subtle, say something like "Phwooooooooooooaaaaaaaar! You don't get many of them to the pound. Eh? Eh?" while looking around at the other women and wiping the spittle off my mouth with my forearm.

skybluepearl Wed 30-May-12 22:31:33

Maybe try ''Is that a banana in your pocket?''

Scarlet73 Wed 30-May-12 22:33:32

Thanks.... a courgette maybe....

Scarlet73 Thu 31-May-12 16:24:10

Wish me luck! Just off to boxercise class.

What did that guy say in Friends when some bloke had shorts on and was standing on a chair giving everyone an eyeful...... "hey buddy put the mouse back in his house, this is a family place"

maybe say something along those lines grin

PandaWatch Thu 31-May-12 16:39:31

<snort> I have visions of you trying to politely and tactfully broach it with him and him starting to do lunges while you do!

Please tell us word for word how this conversation goes grin

kilmuir Thu 31-May-12 16:45:03

Well we can only advise if we have photos of the offending shorts and contents..

LeoniPoni Thu 31-May-12 16:56:58

When giving feedback I like to follow a formula. A general positive, the critique and then a specific positive.

So I'd say:

"I very much enjoy your classes and find you very effective at keeping us interested.

But your package is distracting.

That said, it is a mighty fine package that I have enjoyed perving upon."

HTH.

RevoltingPeasant Thu 31-May-12 18:13:21

Eeeeeew, this is just reminding me of a not-so-nice moment at the gym recently -

I was walking past the mats/ stretching area when I caught an eyeful of a man lying on his back with his knees slightly apart - he was wearing boxer-style workout gear but as far as I could see no actual boxers......

He was not nice to look at sad <brain bleach>

ErnesttheBavarian Thu 31-May-12 18:46:29

leoni, my dh uses that technique, apparently dubbed a shit sandwich, shit news started and ended with something nice.

NarkedPuffin Thu 31-May-12 19:28:51

Their is a GP in my local practice who is, gifted in that department and wears the tightest fitting trousers I've ever seen. He also sits facing you with his legs wide open. It's very difficult to stop your eyes drifting down when he's talking. It's the elephant 's trunk in the room.

If there was a man like this in every gym I would look like a body builder as I'd be there in my free time grin

been single for months so perving is now a sport I have taken up

QueenTiggyDTheFirst Thu 31-May-12 20:23:22

You disgusting bunch of sexist perverts!

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Fri 01-Jun-12 09:12:07

Narked Puffin I am circulating a picture of your GP so that others are forewarned. here

NarkedPuffin Fri 01-Jun-12 09:38:59

grin

NicholasTeakozy Fri 01-Jun-12 09:49:06

I was wondering when TWC would make an appearance! grin

I'm not clicking on that link MyThumb - I'll bet my pocket money it's Terry Wogan blush

aurynne Fri 01-Jun-12 10:00:25

That is outrageous, Scarlet73. Please make sure you video that disgusting instructor tomorrow and post the video here so we can more accurately judge the level of offence we should be taking.

(HD, please)

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Fri 01-Jun-12 11:41:38

grin

Scarlet71 Fri 01-Jun-12 19:56:28

OP here. Just back from gym. Hot. And. Rather. Flustered.

LolaThePregnantFlyola Fri 01-Jun-12 20:06:27

It's quite probably DP, i tell him every morning that he will offend someone with his shorts.

i don't know if mumsnet will class this as advertising so i will hide it well if you all give me your numbers i am more than happy to sell him for private lessons

[really, really wants holiday]

Lueji Fri 01-Jun-12 20:27:50

I can well imagine. Similar to what I have to suffer during DS's swimming lessons...

Only today he had a t-shirt on. Darn.

CrazyUnderwear Fri 01-Jun-12 20:45:46

Erm - are you in Hull by any chance? I happen to know of a gym instructor with a massive bulge who likes to wear the tightest lycra known to mankind. He's such an ego-maniac though.

Mumsyblouse Fri 01-Jun-12 20:51:25

All these bulging men are doing it on purpose. And you are falling for it. The best thing is to stare fixedly at their face for the entire encounter. They will be very disappointed and wear an even tighter pair next time

Scarlet71 Fri 01-Jun-12 21:08:34

Now I've had a chance to calm cool down perhaps I can give you my full account? Glad to hear I'm not on my own!

Scarlet71 Tue 12-Jun-12 20:08:35

Even worse tonight. He's moved on from the tight shorts to very baggy tracksuit jogging pants. If anything, this is even more entertaining distracting. What's a girl to do?

Scarlet71 Wed 13-Jun-12 22:08:02

Anyone willing to offer any advice?

1950sHousewife Wed 13-Jun-12 22:11:27

This thread has made me laugh so much.

Advice? Keep him away from the Power Plate at the gym. I'd not want to see his shorts vibrate vigourously. Or maybe I would. I need photos to check.

Scarlet71 Wed 13-Jun-12 22:13:20

Photos? Let's just say I wouldn't need a zoom lens.

1950sHousewife Wed 13-Jun-12 22:14:21

shock blush grin

SecretNutellaFix Wed 13-Jun-12 22:16:53

Which of these most closely matches what you see?
grin

Scarlet71 Wed 13-Jun-12 22:20:20

Hmmmm I would say the middle one but really this guy is much more blessed than any of them!

1950sHousewife Wed 13-Jun-12 22:24:37

Nutella - that is the funniest photo EVER. I love the way they all look so earnest whilst their meat and two veg are not left to the imagination. Bless you for that.

Scarlet71 Wed 13-Jun-12 22:28:20

1950shousewife - imagine how embarassing it would be doing this if you had a really small willy (or a really big one!)

Shakey1500 Wed 13-Jun-12 22:35:48

SNF grin What the Dickens (arf) is going on with cyclist number two?? Poor lad <snort>

Scarlet71 Wed 13-Jun-12 22:40:12

This is more like what I'm faced with every time I go to the gym
omg

1950sHousewife Wed 13-Jun-12 22:41:57

As opposed to no 3 who has the bisected nutsack. (helps settle him onto the bike seat p'raps?)

And no 4 who dresses one way to compliment No 5 who dresses the other. Good to see a well balanced team.

Scarlet that's just boasting........grin

Scarlet71 Thu 14-Jun-12 18:06:52

Bossybritches22 I know! wink

Scarlet71 Thu 14-Jun-12 22:29:35

Come on MN! Need to get this thread restarted. Away alone in a hotel on a business trip and needing some light relief!! Anyone up for it?

1950sHousewife Thu 14-Jun-12 22:48:10

I'm sorry Scarlet71, but I am going off to flouncers corner unless you can provide photographic evidence that this gym-based Loch Ness Monster exists. Any chance of sending a group of American tourists with long lenses in to provide said evidence?

Scarlet71 Thu 14-Jun-12 22:59:07

What a great idea! But a quick pic with my iPhone would be even better. Depends how close Incan get to him without arousing suspicion.

CarryOnMatron Thu 14-Jun-12 23:12:30

NarkedPuffinThu 31-May-12 19:28:51
It's the elephant 's trunk in the room

Now this is comedy gold! grin

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