To draw the line at breastfeeding my hairbrush

(57 Posts)
TheAvocadoOfWisdom Thu 12-Apr-12 21:16:34

DD is 18m and bf morning and evening. In the last month or so, she's become very insistent on having her favourite cuddly monkey and dinosaur breastfeed too. She finishes feeding on one side, then holds up monkey to let him feed, making pretend sucking noises, and then gives dinosaur a turn. Repeat on other side, and then back to the first several times. It's become a bit of a ritual, although she does miss out dinosaur if she's tired.

Yesterday, I had to breastfeed a toy car. Fine, ok, it's a one off. Today she wants me to breastfeed my hairbrush. I said no (in a cheery, casual way), and she had a full-on tantrum (the sort where toddlers make their body all melty so you can't hold on to them, and then when you try to lie them on the floor they arch their backs so that you can't put them down easily, followed by kicking and wailing).

AIBU? Or should I indulge her?

ladyfirenze Thu 12-Apr-12 21:18:30

'had to' biscuit

Kayano Thu 12-Apr-12 21:19:37

Sorry but.... LMFAO grin

Whatmeworry Thu 12-Apr-12 21:20:41

Now that's what I call extended breastfeeding. Just don't get sucked into b/f the hoover.....bottle for that i think grin

SuePurblyBusinesslike Thu 12-Apr-12 21:21:31

No. It is spikier even than a dinosaur.

ladyfirenze Thu 12-Apr-12 21:25:21

perhaps you need to check the hairbrush is latching correctly before we continue this debate.....

You should inform the toddler of the correct use of a hairbrush by singing into in front of a mirror with an 80s sound track

TheAvocadoOfWisdom Thu 12-Apr-12 21:34:21

smearedinfood all of my attempts to inform said toddler of the correct use of anything at all have been met with a declaration of "mine" and the classic grab-object-and-hold-next-to-self-while-turning-away-from-mother tactic. I swear the first two weren't so difficult.

I usually clip her nails when shes feeding as I can ensure she'll be relatively still, but there's no way I'm trying that at the moment.

This is the stage at which I demonstrated to my DD that she, too, had nipples! She started feeding her own toys/books/teddies/hairbrushes shortly afterwards.

I've now got an awful mental image of you breastfeeding a nail clipper grin
curiosity has the solution methinks...

puds11 Thu 12-Apr-12 21:41:16

The hairbrush needs feeding and setteling too. It'll feel left out, and that'll come back to bite you in the ass

YANBU. I refuse to bf anything without a mouth. Today I have bfed a cuddly toy, a small Hello Kitty and (ironically) a plastic cow.

DD is nearly 2 and despite repeatedly drawing her attention to her own nipples she insists on bottle-feeding her dolls and toys and bringing them to me for bfing as her "boobies not have Mummy milk" confused

3 year old DS however (who incidentally was bottle fed) is more than happy to roll up his tshirt and latch his toys on. Never seen him feeding a hairbrush though...

lolajane2009 Thu 12-Apr-12 21:53:03

tell her the haibrush is on nursing strike atm and doesnt want to feed

TheSoggyBunny Thu 12-Apr-12 22:04:49


I'm glad i am not the only one bf a dinosaur

ThePathanKhansWitch Thu 12-Apr-12 22:27:21


Devora Thu 12-Apr-12 22:29:36

I would be indulging for all it's worth. You will get YEARS of dinner party anecdotes out of this grin

McFluffster Thu 12-Apr-12 22:30:59

I can't believe you are denying your hairbrush the breast milk it deserves. Selfish, you are.

TCOB Thu 12-Apr-12 22:33:40

I do understand it must be a PITA but at the same time - that is really one of the cutest toddler things I have ever heard. As long as she doesn't start expecting you do it in public...grin

DoWhatYouLikeyWifey Thu 12-Apr-12 23:00:46

This is brilliant! I chortled at 'breastfeeding a toy car'

And notquitesure I loved reading your post.

I didn't mind BF the toy Gruffalo, but it was odd when I was expected to feed the picture on the DVD box as well. confused

LoopyLoeufdePaques Fri 13-Apr-12 00:36:10

brilliant smile

Oh dear... DS is nearly 2, a veritable monster for the tit (so much so that he refers to it as "Me More"), yet has never once even hinted that I should BF anything inanimate. Is he a slow developer, or just insanely selfish? Should I be worried?

startail Fri 13-Apr-12 00:43:20

That's brilliantgrin, DD2 BF for a very long time, but I don't think she ever asked me to feed anything else. (shudders at the thought of the number of cars and playmobil people that might be hungry)

Nor oddly did she pretend to BF her toys, she always used bottles. In fact the only time she's ever drunk out of a bottle is when she put squash in one she was playing with.

Slightly sad that even to a child who BF past school age, bottles are what she associates with feeding babies.

ladyfirenze Fri 13-Apr-12 01:21:16

pissing self at feeding of gruffalo dvd grin

MummytoKatie Fri 13-Apr-12 03:51:40

Dd stopped feeding on one side about 4 months ago. Thinking it was the start of self weaning I let her and the milked dried up. 4 months later she is still going strong and we now have "dd milk" and "monkey milk". Poor monkey never gets the side with the milk in.

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow Fri 13-Apr-12 06:44:04

Yanbu hun. I weaned my hair brush at 4 days old hun. Mummy knows best, happy mum, happy hairbrush. Try feeding it a mcdonald hun. Xxxx

VerityClinch Fri 13-Apr-12 06:47:12

When DS was born and DD was 16 months nursery expressed their concern that DD had taken to walking round all day with a toy trumpet against her chest.

I was expressing to feed DS who had tongue tie...

tooscary Fri 13-Apr-12 06:50:00

This is the loveliest AIBU I have read in a while smile

TheAvocadoOfWisdom Wed 18-Apr-12 19:48:28

I can give an update here: I caved in to feeding the hairbrush over the weekend, but on a friend's advice, adopted the don't offer/don't refuse approach to weaning it, and made sure that DD couldn't see it during her Monday feeds. It's been 3 days now, and I think the hairbrush is successfully weaned grin I did have to feed DD's pyjama trousers, but it's only been the once.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Wed 18-Apr-12 20:08:26

Poor hairbrush. Is it OK with a cup?

DD (2.5) once asked me to feed a figurine of Boris Yeltsin...

MsVelvet Wed 18-Apr-12 20:32:25

Brilliant, thanks for giving me my first chuckle of the week!!

googleberry Wed 18-Apr-12 20:40:11

I think I'm gonna carry on breastfeeding longer now just to see if dd makes me do this, very funny love it

Fluffycloudland77 Wed 18-Apr-12 20:44:01

What if the hairbrush has tongue tie?

You wont get that done on the NHS.

gafhyb Wed 18-Apr-12 20:45:57

Oh God, this is so funny. So typically toddlerish. I snorted at the toy car.

I think you have to draw some boundary lines. She's seeking to control you and succeeding. You have to allow her to get on with the tantrum and ignore it.

headfairy Wed 18-Apr-12 20:50:09

Hilarious, so glad both of mine self weaned at 15 months before they could start pulling these stunts.

msVelvet you need to read the Peter Andre really loves his kids thread, I nearly suffocated laughing so hard at it last night.

Midori1999 Wed 18-Apr-12 20:53:55

This is so funny and cute and lovely. grin

My DD is only 10 months but just starting to do 'cute' things while nursing, I am really looking forward to when she can talk about it, if I can still be breastfeeding then.

kiwijesta Wed 18-Apr-12 20:57:17

Brilliant! I know have tears running down my face, and DH even cracked a smile. If DD hadn't self weaned at 13 months I'm sure her sheep would 'need' a bf too! grin

ewaczarlie Wed 18-Apr-12 21:05:42

It's been a rough day but thanks to this thread I'm in a much better mood! DS is too serious to do things like this (shame) so loving the laughs I'm getting thanks to others

Brilliant! DD is 23mo and has just started to share her feed with Puppy (imaginative naming Chez Stetsons).

Maybe I'll see if I can get her to feed Puppy instead though, save me being pinned to the sofa like the early days grin

TheAvocadoOfWisdom Wed 18-Apr-12 21:28:43

stetsons please tell me this isn't a real puppy???? grin

shock God no!!! It's her favourite little Jelly Cat one. The only thing she'll consider sharing me with, apparently grin

5madthings Wed 18-Apr-12 21:43:43

lol, my ds2 used to get me to bfeed his toy digger! the thing you do for a toddler! grin

naturalbaby Wed 18-Apr-12 21:49:15

I don't know if I'm glad ds seems to have self weaned at 14months or sad that I'm missing out on all this. The worst I got were his feet in my face.

Today DS surpassed himself. He handed me a piece of his artwork (stickers and scribbles), and announced "Titty milk on paper, please mummy!"

Is that like "oil on canvas" then? Tate Modern here we come! grin

AIBU to be envious of the OP? She's having all the fun with her breastfeeding 18 mo and here I am with a stroppy little 16 mo DS2, who merely removes my hands from the keyboard very firmly when I'm attempting to MN at the same time as feed him. sad

DS1 used to ask me to breastfeed his cuddly toys but only after he'd stopped breastfeeding altogether.

RushyBay Wed 18-Apr-12 22:38:13

Love this thread. I've bfed a Scuttlebug grin

I think BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte might win the prize with the figurine of Boris Yeltzin thanks

I actually got a tear in my eye the first time DS (23mo) bfed one of his toys.

Fireandashes Wed 18-Apr-12 22:46:40

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte, I'm intrigued as to why your DD had a figurine of Boris Yeltsin in the first place! grin

This thread made me laugh so much I woke DD up, she is not impressed grin

agreetodisagree Wed 18-Apr-12 23:20:16

Excellent - I thought it was just me. I have been handed Sophie the giraffe, dolly, a duplo brick, a spoon, a pen, a Balamory case (did you know Spencer is now a bus driver? And was I the only one who wanted to write Calm Down Archie! on youtube when Miles Jupp did Prodigy for Sports relief?) a book - all with a smile of joy from DD2 and the clucking sounds.

But best of all...she gave a wooden tiger to DHs Moobs (A to the D to the G cup!) and did the sucking sounds to him too. grin

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill Wed 18-Apr-12 23:31:47

A child calls it titty milk? Classy

TruthSweet Wed 18-Apr-12 23:48:48

DD1 has tried to bf DD2 when she was hungry as a newborn - DD1 was about 21m at the time. DD2 was singularly unimpressed by tiny toddler nipples.

DD1 & DD2 regularly pump their 'bahs' with a breast pump that a kind MNer sent me after I posted about needing a toy pump for the DDs - sometimes it because they are too ill to bf, sometimes it's because baby is too ill to bf....

DD3 just tweaks her own nipples if I won't let her 'honk' me (she shoves her hand down my top and squeezes me which drives me mad now I'm pg). Funny child grin

I have fed a few dolls and they sometimes use my knitted breast to feed their babies (I am a peer supporter) though DD2 has tried to feed off it before as a toddler....

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill Unfortunately I have DH to thank for that one. I'm unimpressed by it too. blush

amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 19-Apr-12 18:49:38

NOt only s hould you feed the hairbrush, you should be co-sleeping with it

Gingefringe Thu 19-Apr-12 18:52:18

I've never heard of this phenomenon. It's hilarious!! Bitty gone mad.

IslaValargeone Thu 19-Apr-12 18:57:30

Although your post made me laugh. On a more serious note, no way would I be giving in to avoid a tantrum, slippery slope and all that.

Woooster94 Sat 21-Apr-12 13:28:17

Coming late to this thread..

My DS at 20 months likes to haul large and dangerous objects onto my lap to BF, like his pedal car. But he hasn't actually asked me to feed it yet. It makes me laugh too when he wears his Dad's sunglasses to BF - being an international toddler of mystery.

iwantbrie Sat 21-Apr-12 13:56:15

I've been in a crap pmt induced mood all morning, so glad I read this thread!

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