To want a black wedding ring?

(71 Posts)
ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 22:43:03

I discussed this with the fairly soon to be MrsComposhat. I would quite like a wedding ring, but don't particularly like gold or platinum rings as I think they look a bit shiny and flashy and don't really suit me. I did however see some black wedding rings that I thought looked less blingy.

I put this to the soon to be MrsC and she howled with laughter, claiming I'd look like the world's oldest emo and in a few years time it would look absurd. Does she have a point?

I thought a plain black band like this one

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren Sat 17-Mar-12 22:44:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFeministsWife Sat 17-Mar-12 22:46:11

I like it, I'd have one and I'm pretty sure DH would too. If we could afford to.

troisgarcons Sat 17-Mar-12 22:46:46

screams at the black ring thread memory

Sorry but I think black looks a bit hello there, sailor - never mind the asexual aspect grin

My dh has a titanium ring. It isn't black though but definitely less shiny than traditional wedding bands and really nice.

Personally i'm not a fan of the ones you linked to but if that's what you like I think that's your choice and totally fair enough.

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Mar-12 22:47:42

I like it.

But I think you'll have to come to a compromise with the Fairly Soon To Be MrsC.

It doesn't matter what it looks like to other people so long as you can both be happy with whatever you choose.

It probably doesn't have any bearing on the matter, but are you a pretty conventional person? Are you having a traditional wedding? (thinking of why she might not be into the ring).

hiddenhome Sat 17-Mar-12 22:47:43

You can get non shiny plantinum rings.

joanofarchitrave Sat 17-Mar-12 22:50:04

hmm. have you considered rose gold or something like that? e.g. [ here]]

ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 22:50:12

Yep you are right! I'd forgotten that thread. But isn't that on the middle finger of the right hand for asexuals?

A fair proportion of the other 866 things I learned from MN I wished I could unlearn. Munting being the most recent example of things I was happier being ignorant about!

When I saw black wedding ring I was going to suggest a black wedding dress (I would have loved one)
But then I sussed you are a bloke.

So you probably won't want a wedding dress, black or otherwise.


I think you can't get titanium resized so you had better not gain or lose any weight. The one you linked to is too rounded for me. Although it will be nice to spot all the MNers because of the hmm asexual looks you will get.

PurpleRomanesco Sat 17-Mar-12 22:53:10

Yes, Apparently wearing a black ring on your middle finger (?) signifies you are asexual.

I think the ring you have chosen is beautiful, DH agrees and is now considering it too! It's not emo at all.

PurpleRomanesco Sat 17-Mar-12 22:55:23


Getting ahead of myself there!

ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 22:56:54

Sorry but I think black looks a bit hello there, sailor - never mind the asexual aspect

She also made that point too. The wedding isn't a church and meringue do, I will probably be waering a suit and she will be wearing a 50s style ra ra dress. (I think!)

joan the rosegold looks a lot less blingy that white or yellow gold, more muted. I like it.

thenightsky Sat 17-Mar-12 22:58:04

I like that one you linked to. Wasn't aware of asexual message sending till I read rest of thread though.

ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 22:58:52

think you can't get titanium resized so you had better not gain or lose any weight

O'er, that is a bit of a pain, I can be a bit Oprah in that respect!

FredFredGeorge Sat 17-Mar-12 23:00:53

Some titanium can be enlarged a couple of sizes pretty readily - although not as readily as your high street jeweller will do. Others are more complicated.

I have a titanium ring, it's dull, it was cheap, and it's every bit a symbol as anything else. Black wouldn't be my thing, but don't see anything wrong with it, doubt you'll look much like a really old emo unless you go with more of the look.

flapjacks Sat 17-Mar-12 23:02:49

I think soontobeMrsComposHat needs to like it too, as after all, she's going to be giving it to you during the ceremony i.e. it's a gift of her love to you etc etc. If she's not keen on it then perhaps best not to go with it ...

ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 23:08:10

You are right flap I think we need to find a middle ground!

EvenBetter Sat 17-Mar-12 23:18:14

My darling husband doesn't agree with the precious metal industry and is also an athiest & lover of science, he got a Tungsten ring (it's the metal that's inside a lightbulb), it's super strong, doesn't scratch or tarnish and is dark grey. It was £35 online :D

EvenBetter Sat 17-Mar-12 23:19:47

P.s. It's a 'symbol of' her love to you, it'll be part of the wonderful vows and you'll be wearing it for the rest of your life, get one you like and suits you!

tethersend Sat 17-Mar-12 23:20:16

I think you should fashion one yourself out of granite.

2kidsintow Sat 17-Mar-12 23:25:21

Black rings used to be a sign of mourning for the loss of your spouse. (Rather a long time ago, tbh, though)

ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 23:42:06

Yes 2kids Victorian mourning jewellery was made out of jet wasn't it?

tether or I could crack open a bag of Haribo.

startail Sat 17-Mar-12 23:54:28

I don't see why not, if it suits you and mrs C doesn't mind.

I would just have the word Taken tattooed across your forehead.

In black ink if you prefer wink

ComposHat Sat 17-Mar-12 23:57:42

Alas, most of the space on my forehead is taken up with my 'KILLER' tattoo.

I have rose gold bands and it is a lovely colour when it's worn in (almost like a metallic skin colour), looks a bit too shiny copper when it's brand new tho, so don't be put off.

DH lost his band a year ago, I might check out Tungsten rings EvenBetter I sure as hell can't afford to replace his white gold one anymore!

NowWeKnow Sun 18-Mar-12 00:04:30

My dh has a gold wedding ring but he wears one similar to this which is black with gold on his other hand more as a signet ring which I gave him for his 40th. It would also be nice as a wedding ring though. It's really hard wearing and has never scratched.

NowWeKnow Sun 18-Mar-12 00:08:55

Also I'd say it's more very dark grey than black which might be an alternative to consider.

ComposHat Sun 18-Mar-12 00:12:50

Dark grey, what metals would have that finish? I confess I am an amateur when it comes to this sort of thing!

NowWeKnow Sun 18-Mar-12 00:14:49

The one I linked to is tungsten carbide.

EvenBetter Sun 18-Mar-12 00:53:21

It's gorge, I freely admit I'm judgemental and sneery about other peoples wedding rings and everything else but £35 for an undamagable ring is good!

Try on anything in a jewellers to get your size and see what width you want, then buy online!

youbethemummylion Sun 18-Mar-12 07:00:35

My and my husbands wedding rings are rose gold with a thivk band of whitby jet in the middle, we like them and have never had issues with people thinking we are asexual. Designed them ourselves and a man in a tiny old fasjioned jewellers in whitby made them, quite cheap too.

I've seen quite a few of these recently - they are not black but a lovely matt grey. They are honestly really nice in real life.

go for it smile Your new wifey's ring doesn't have to match either, dh has a gold ring and I have a platinum ring.

NoGoodAtHousework Sun 18-Mar-12 07:08:48

When DP and I eventually get married he wants a carbon fibre ring and I may get a titanium and carbon fibre. You can find any weird and wonderful ones on eBay!

SaraBellumHertz Sun 18-Mar-12 07:13:02

Definitely worlds oldest emo grin

DH has a very thick heavy platinum band a bit like this in shape but heavier.

It has become a bit battered over the years and so not blingy at all. My dad remarked that it looks like a car part!

sashh Sun 18-Mar-12 07:13:32

go for it, it's your choice. If your bride to be really hates the idea look at steel rings - not black but not shiny either

KingofHighVis Sun 18-Mar-12 07:19:26

how about on e of these

Although for some reason can't help imagining someone who buys one of these as being the sort of person who insists on doing snarly rock-star poses in all the wedding photos.

And the 'rebel' on seems soooo 1990s.

tribpot Sun 18-Mar-12 07:23:11

Love the comment about the world's oldest emo smile But I love some of the suggested rings on this thread, I would definitely have done something similar as I don't like shiny jewellery and don't wear yellow gold at all.

Hope you can find one you both like!

Kveta Sun 18-Mar-12 07:27:14

dh has a palladium (?) wedding ring, and it has a brushed surface so didn't look too shiny (which was his objection to all the gold ones).

mine is white gold, plain as can be.

18 months on, they both look quite scuffed tbh, but well worn anyway, and not nearly as shiny as they were!

iloveminieggs Sun 18-Mar-12 07:39:20

My DH also has palladium. Cheaper than platinum but from same family of metals. you get lots of choice such as brushed, matt or really shiny. Just bear in mind that some metals can be very heavy such as platinum so worth bearing in mind if you go for a wide band or if you have large fingers.

Rowgtfc72 Sun 18-Mar-12 07:45:09

Soon to be dh (May 21st !) has a tungsten carbide and carbon fibre ring. Mine is titanium , silver and some black stuff ! We wanted something different and got them from unique jewellry. As op above said , you cant get them resized as Im finding out having lost just enough weight for it to fly off when it gets wet.

MrsHoarder Sun 18-Mar-12 07:56:37

I'd presume you were in mourning unless you looked particually gothy. May have just spent too long reading Victorian literature though!

Fraktal Sun 18-Mar-12 08:15:50

I have nothing useful to add but blush at the black ring. I'm currently wearing my (black diamond) eternity ring on my middle finger waiting for it to be resized!

MinnieBar Sun 18-Mar-12 08:17:15

I think as long as you go for a dark-silver kind of shade rather than black-black - and matt/brushed rather than shiny - oh, and quite wide too - then it'll look masculine and appropriate rather than sulky teen rebel.

Oh and congratulations! Is Soon-To-Be-MrsComposHat a MNer?

ComposHat Sun 18-Mar-12 18:34:30

Thanks for the advice and best wishes everyone!

The current Mr Electricalbanana has a black wedding ring. Its made of paladium (i think that is how it is spelt) and its lovely. Mr E is a motorbike riding, black wearing rock god (in his dreams) and any personal embellishments makes him uneasy. So he wanted something which was "industrial" or something which looked like it had been part of his beloved bike.

we got it from birmingham.

MrsMeaner Sun 18-Mar-12 20:17:59

What is the significance of a black ring?

The point of a gold or platinum ring is that they last forever and are very precious.

My wedding band is plain (as it should be) and not blingy at all. If you want even less bling than none, go for a very narrow band.

ComposHat Sun 18-Mar-12 22:09:29

mrsm no significance attached to black, I just feel extremely selfconscious wearing anything flash. An expensive gold one I'd worry about osing/damaging as I am very clumsy.

electrical I am somewhat less rock than Mr E. I have once been described as dressing and looking like a younger more disheveled Alan Bennett. But the jewellery quarter in Brim might be well worth a look especially as I have family that way on.

BelaLug0si Sun 18-Mar-12 22:27:36

How about the male collection by Sarah Sheridan which you can get in an oxidised finish which looks dark grey/black? E.g. this or concrete texture or bound which is what DH has in a silver oxidised finish.

ChaoticAngel Sun 18-Mar-12 23:15:37

Oooh, I do like that one NowWeKnow linked too.

I have heard about the asexual thing but didn't realise it was on the middle finger. Just go for whatever you like and feel comfortable with. You're the one who has to wear it.

geti Wed 17-Apr-13 21:48:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

FatPenguin Wed 17-Apr-13 22:10:41

My husband has a wedding ring like the one in the op, it's really unusual. Neither of us liked shiny ones or any with diamonds so he went for a black one which has a matt silver edge. Pick what you like, it's you who has to wear it smile

themidwife Wed 17-Apr-13 23:14:02

I'm sorry I hate the one you linked (napkin ring!) but my gym instructor & her DH have dull flat black metallic rings which look really cool!!

themidwife Wed 17-Apr-13 23:16:26
BlastAndDalmatians Wed 17-Apr-13 23:18:28

Zombie thread, thanks Alan smile

geti Thu 18-Apr-13 16:46:42

blush Apologies for breaching the posting guidelines in the previously deleted post, all I was trying to do was offer to answer questions about Titanium or Black Zirconium rings (or black rings in general) as there are a lot of myths on the internet about these metals eg. can they be resized, cut off etc. As there are links to our site in this thread anyway, it didn't occur to me that my link would be frowned upon, never the less, if I can help anybody, please feel free to ask.

Gorja Thu 18-Apr-13 16:50:27

I didn't want a traditional wedding ring as I don't like jewellery especially shiny jewellery. So me and DH had tattoos around our ring fingers. Mine is black Celtic knot work that I designed myself, DH has a colourful dragon that he designed.
People always comment on it and say how much they like mine. Might be worth a thought.

NinaHeart Thu 18-Apr-13 17:06:19

My H has a tungsten carbide wedding ring. Quite black. Mine doesn't match his at all, being shiny white metal metal with sparkly diamonds in it.
I have a "spare" tungsten one for surfing in.

Matchy matchy doesn't matter.

NomDeOrdinateur Thu 18-Apr-13 17:24:42

My DH nearly got something similar for very similar reasons, but he says he's glad that he changed his mind now that the novelty appeal has worn off the more unusual materials. It's good to have some scope for resizing the ring easily if you care about it being "the" wedding ring rather than just "a" wedding ring, and that's definitely not the case for tungsten and rarely the case for titanium (neither of which was available in the Brum Jewellery Quarter back when we looked). They're also harder to cut off, which could be a problem in the case of an injury/allergic reaction that causes your hand to swell (although that may not be an issue for you, depending on your job and hobbies).

DH eventually chose a palladium ring from Newey's in the Jewellery Quarter (which has a whole shop dedicated to wedding rings, and offered the best prices we found anywhere in the UK). It's now a satiny grey and looks very nice in an unobrusive way. He went for an unusually narrow "soft court" band because it was they most unshowy design they had and also the most comfortable for him, and he's so happy with it that he's never taken it off (whereas I only wear my rings when I'm going out as I find them v. uncomfortable).

NomDeOrdinateur Thu 18-Apr-13 17:25:45

Oh bloody hell, zombie thread, never mind...

Stinkyminkymoo Thu 18-Apr-13 17:28:08

Hmm I'm not sure myself. My DH has a steel wedding ring but don't tell my mother, she thinks it's silver and I think it looks lovely and not too shiny.

CalamityJ Thu 18-Apr-13 17:33:31

Putting suggested connotations aside I think it looks really nice, classy and if my DH had chosen similar I would not have batted an eyelid. Just go for it if you like it!

Oblomov Thu 18-Apr-13 17:49:17

Fascinating. Do let us know what you decide on, OP.

thebody Thu 18-Apr-13 18:33:45

My dh doesn't have one as I hate rings on men.

But each to their own.

nocake Thu 18-Apr-13 18:38:25

I have a Titanium wedding ring made by Geti. It has a palladium insert, as DW's rings are palladium. I think it looks great and is very well made.

geti Thu 18-Apr-13 21:52:00

Regarding NomDeOrdinateurs previous post concerning resizing Titanium rings; yes it can be done and to a certain degree, it depends on the style, inlaid, diamond set, plain etc., as to how we do it and by how much. You will need to find a specialist to do it as the majority of jewellers will struggle.

Titanium rings are harder to cut off compared to precious metals but here again, not a problem. The same tool is used as for gold or Platinum rings. Tungsten rings are a doddle to get off in an emergency by simply cracking in a couple of places with a common plumbers pipe grip then they simply fall off the finger - ruined of course but at least it's off :-)

geti Thu 18-Apr-13 21:54:14

Thank you nocake, I'm glad you like it smile

Rowgtfc72 Thu 18-Apr-13 21:59:11

Dh has a tungsten and carbon fibre black ring. Mines titanium , silver and black. Each to their own. We picked ours because they are hardwearing more than anything. Couldnt have matching as my size is K and Dh is Z+1.

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