To wonder why on earth Amanda Holden is back at work already!?

(107 Posts)
EdnaClouds Sun 12-Feb-12 07:57:19

Just 3 weeks ago she has an emergency CS, nearly died and spent a few days in intensive care. Surely she should be at home resting for a while longer yet?

Animation Sun 12-Feb-12 07:59:21

Seems very quick to me. What was the hurry?

Kayano Sun 12-Feb-12 07:59:31

No ones business but hers...

To be fair her job is to look pretty and press a buzzer... Should imagine she has everything she needs and even possibly baby just backstage

It's unbelievable isn't it. I am lost for words.

MissBerta Sun 12-Feb-12 08:02:05

It's hardly work

It's up to her

KwaziiHunt Sun 12-Feb-12 08:02:05

I know it's her business, but she went through major surgery, nearly dies, she must be traumatised and it's only been 2 weeks.

I think it's too early and I can't see how it is good for her.

EdnaClouds Sun 12-Feb-12 08:02:46

she must still be in some pain. I had a CS and it bloody hurts to move for a good while afterwards.

I'm more shocked that she feels physically able after such an ordeal. Am sure the baby is just backstage that's not the issue for me.

FredFredGeorge Sun 12-Feb-12 08:04:38

resting is way oversold, it's actually pretty important to be as active as you can, if work helps with that then it's a pretty good thing especially if it's the sort of job where the work is very light and you're pretty free to do what you want.

But regardless, it's entirely up to her what she does. so YABU to judge.

SixtyFootDoll Sun 12-Feb-12 08:07:01

I think she herself said its hardly taxing to sit and watch people perform for a few hours.

It's her choice.

alorsmum Sun 12-Feb-12 08:09:15

I just can't believe how good she looks. 3 weeks post c-section both times round I was a saggy leaky bleeding mess who still looked 6 months preg. Fair play to her if she feels up to it.

RedBlanket Sun 12-Feb-12 08:10:31

She's self employed. No work = no pay
If she drops out of this series she might not be invited back next year.

I'm NO fan of hers at all but i do feel som sympathy for her.

Redblanket I'm sure she could afford to take a few more weeks off, lets not pretend she's desperate for money hmm

Kayano Sun 12-Feb-12 08:17:56

Yes but this is her big job really, this is the money maker and it's up to her.

KittyFane Sun 12-Feb-12 08:18:21

missberta - It's hardly work, It's up to her
Agree, it's not physically strenuous is it?

Also, she possibly has a driver to collect her and return her home.
Her makeup, hair and clothes all taken care of. Lunch provided.

Florabella Sun 12-Feb-12 08:18:46

Because she knows she has the best job she is going to get on BGT and that she inrceases her chances of losing it if she's not seen to be there this season.

Because she wants to provide for her family

Because as others have said, it's not exactly a physically taxing job - limo there and sitting behind a desk, with plenty of breaks.

Because she probably has her baby (who at 2 weeks old will be mainly asleep) behind the scenes and still spending time with it.

I can't believe what a hard time she gets from other women about this! (not referring to this thread)

Kayano Sun 12-Feb-12 08:20:46

And presumably the father will be helping? Or is the shock factor of going back to work just reserved for mothers?

AlpinePony Sun 12-Feb-12 08:22:15

Yabu, just because you have a baby/section doesn't mean you have to, or want to sit on your arse for 6 months. It's not as though she's doing an assault course.

Megatron Sun 12-Feb-12 08:25:06

I think it's a little quick personally. I read that she has left the baby with her mother but whether this is true or not I don't know. Up to her I suppose.

alorsmum Sun 12-Feb-12 08:25:34

She doesn't actually have her baby with her but presumably she's not bfing and she's flying there and back and not going to be there long.

This is just a very fleeting visit to Scotland and with the weather being so extreme I've decided to let my mum have some quality time with her new granddaughter - but I am looking forward to introducing Hollie to everyone on my next trip

daily mail link alert

porcamiseria Sun 12-Feb-12 08:45:47

feel a bit sorry for her tbh

I think it is very quick given the circumstances. I wouldn't want to leave my baby at 3 weeks for a second if I had been through all that (and if I hadn't TBH). I think she is afraid of losing her place on the panel of a talent show that has had it's day frankly. confused

everlong Sun 12-Feb-12 08:51:46

I think the headlines ' nearly died ' must be an exaggeration to say the least.

I don't think it's an exaggeration. She spent time in ICU. That's for the very seriously ill.
I do think it's a shame that she has gone back to work so soon and imo she'd be better off with more downtime but she works in a competitive industry and it's up to her. Doesn't look like she's breastfeeding - again that's her choice and nothing to do with any of us.
We all parent differently and make different choices. Sometimes those choices surprise or even shock others. That doesn't make it a wrong choice.

I think you may be right everlong. If that was the case surely she wouldn't be able to do it?

mrsbaldwin Sun 12-Feb-12 08:59:01

I've said this before on here and I'll say it again.

Maternity leave - pretty much over-rated in my view.

All of a sudden you are no longer live in the world of men, but are confined to the house or the local shops unless you attend a baby group full of other new mothers all prickling at each other about BFing. If you like that sort of thing, great. I didn't - what a bore.

Amanda Holden, I consider you to be flying the flag for mothers against maternity leave everywhere

JambalayaCodfishPie Sun 12-Feb-12 08:59:55

YABU

Shes contractually obliged to appear. As others have said not doing so risks her place on the panel next year.

Also, perhaps she'd rather not sit at home dwelling in the trauma of it all. Shes had a lot of shit to contend with - focusing on the negatives would do no good at all!

mrs baldwin are you Katie Hopkins? grin

Spending time with your newborn is way more important than some shitty talent show.

Dillydaydreaming Sun 12-Feb-12 09:03:49

There's work and them there's "work". Hardly taxing is it?

But yeah, even so after nearly dying why on earth?

everlong Sun 12-Feb-12 09:03:52

Maybe not home ' dwelling on the trauma of it ' but what's wrong with being at home looking after and enjoying your newborn dd?

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 09:06:38

The pressure on her must be huge. Think of Cheryl Cole who kept going until she collapsed with malaria and she still ended up getting ditched in the end. She must be desperate to keep her job. It's too soon for her to have physically recovered from what she has been through, never mind mentally. It's too soon for her to be away from her baby like that. I'm sorry but it is. Her hormones will still be all over the place too. I will be amazed if she doesn't regret this in the end.

I remember reading an interview with Nicole Appleton bitterly regretting flying off with Liam to Japan and leaving her 4 week old baby behind.

I don't think we should be judging her for doing it, we should be looking at the pressures that are pushing her into a situation where she feels she needs to. I also feel sad because it's things like this that put more pressure on other Mums to be getting on with life as normal a couple of weeks after a traumatic birth and cs and while it is always the Mums right to choose I really don't think there should be any pressure that way. I don't think mums of newborn babies should be pressured into doing anything other than being with them and caring for them and bonding with them.

I have a friend who studied for and took an exam in the few weeks after one of her DC was born, her DH took on most of the care for that time. She says she's never bonded with that child the same as she has with her other. I don't know if the two things are related and I don't think she's ever made that connection but I do think it must make a difference.

dearjane Sun 12-Feb-12 09:07:32

I feel sorry for her.

She obviously feels she doesn't have a choice.

What are people trying to imply when they vilify her for this? That she's a cold hearted cow who doesn't give a damn about her new baby? Bollocks.

I am more cross about the programme she is doing it for. I think if it was for something more decent I would have a bit more sympathy.

mrsbaldwin Sun 12-Feb-12 09:09:48

Who's Katie Hopkins ?? [goes away to Google her]

troisgarcons Sun 12-Feb-12 09:10:44

Thousands of women get up world wide after giving birth and go back to work.

As far as I'm aware we have free choice - but woe betide anyone who doesn't make the right choice in the eyes of the MN majority. Your life doesnt end becaue you have a baby. And I soncerely doubt we'll ever see her work contract which may dictate she haul herself up and goes back to work. OR drum roll perhaps she likes working shock horror

funkybuddah Sun 12-Feb-12 09:12:32

her husband was with her yesterday so i would imagine baby was too.

No, she has left her baby with her Mum or so she said.

mrsbaldwin Sun 12-Feb-12 09:14:25

Katie Hopkins = reality TV person (did anyone apart from me not know this?) grin

PoohBearsHole Sun 12-Feb-12 09:15:15

Slebs and babies, its like a competition - who can look the thinnest the soonest, who goes back to work the earliest, who can close off a hospital ward, who can spend the most money, who can make the most money, who can give their child the daftest name......................... and the one we all have sleb or not - who had the worst/best birth.

I don't think there is anything admirable about going back to work so early in this situation, although she isn't really "Working" and will be doing nothing but making a few comments. Even so, there has to be more to life than work. But wait we are mere mortals not slebs and the thought of losing your slebdom is a fate worse than death hmm

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 12-Feb-12 09:17:46

God - wasn't she cold in her sleevless shirt [old lady]

I suspect she didn't have much choice if she wants to keep the job really and I bet her and her family have a pretty expensive lifestyle so she needs to earn the big money whilst she can.

She may be all smiles for the cameras but she's an actress isn't she. Up to her really though.

She has been through so much heartache up until this point too. Britains Got Talent just ain't worth it Amanda.

LaBoccaDellaVerita Sun 12-Feb-12 09:18:22

YABU. None of your business for one thing and for the other I agree with mrsbaldwin and trois. Why on earth shouldn't she do whatever she feels up to doing? How can anyone else know how she feels? You can't. Guessing and projecting doesn't mean anything.

It seems to be my business because it's all over the papers, so apparently it is newsworthy. confused

JambalayaCodfishPie Sun 12-Feb-12 09:21:07

It amazes me that you all seem to think she will have made this decision so flippantly, after all shes been through.

callmemrs Sun 12-Feb-12 09:21:38

Tbh I would imagine that many women post-section are doing a lot more than her. If you're back home with a newborn and possibly other kids to look after, husband back at work, doing the school run with a pram everyday (not allowed to drive) and running a house and caring for the kids, you're no doubt having a harder time than a woman who will be chauffeured to work, have someone doing her clothes and makeup, a nanny caring for the baby a few yards away and probably a housekeeper running the show back home .

Plus- I imagine she enjoys the job and they ain't gonna reschedule the entire audition process and series

Gigondas Sun 12-Feb-12 09:21:40

Up to her isn't it - if she feels up to it and right choice for her family then good on her.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Sun 12-Feb-12 09:21:53

Its the business she is in though isnt it?
If she backs off she will be replaced by someone younger/prettier/available.
She hasnt got a proper talent so she relies on shows like this to keep her profile up (although she was ok in a Marple I saw a while ago). I know that sounds bitchy but I mean that she is now a sleb rather than an actress.

I think its the cut throat nature of the business that is driving her the same way it drives women to do bikini shots 10 days after giving birth.

The media/society set the standard and they have to keep up with it or lose their place.

Its up to her. I am sure the baby will be well cared for and so will she.

Personally I couldnt imagine doing it myself but then I couldnt imagine being a judge on BGT either so I am no expert grin

PoohBearsHole Sun 12-Feb-12 09:24:45

I also find it extraordinary that after all she has been through that she would return so early - however on the opposite side of the argument, perhaps giving birth to a healthy child after having such a sad ending to her last pregnancies and having an emcs and spending time in ICU is small fry in comparison to the previous losses? sad

PoohBearsHole Sun 12-Feb-12 09:27:33

Mind you you always look at it in your own context don't you - bearing in mind my earnings are under £10K per year I really don't earn enough to get back to work after 3 weeks grin but if I was earning £20K per city or whatever it is then I probably might think about it smile but I have no talent, ain't pretty, or young or thin so no chance there grin!

QuickLookBusy Sun 12-Feb-12 09:28:27

I feel very sorry for her

Last year she had a still born baby, she then got pregnant again very quickly and ends up delivering early by ecs and spends 3 days in intensive care.

I can't imagine that 3 weeks after this very traumatic event she would want to leave her baby and fly up to Edingburgh to work. Even if it is just "sitting behind a desk".

I think she felt tremendous pressure to return so quickly. Simon cowel is a monster who would not give a flying fig that she has just nealy died, he only cares about himself and his programmes. If he had an ounce of humanity he would have told her that her job was 100% safe and she was to take more time off.

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 09:32:24

And presumably the father will be helping? Or is the shock factor of going back to work just reserved for mothers?

Baby is with grandmother not father. Also I think to deny that there is any difference between the mother and father in the postpartum period is beyond ludicrous. Of course mothers shouldn't be parted from the baby that biologically they are expected to be the sole source of nutrition for. I think the bonding process for mothers and fathers is naturally very different. That's the way it is meant to be. It doesn't mean that ultimately one is more or less important than the other but to pretend they can both be the same isn't really doing anyone any favours.

PoohBearsHole Sun 12-Feb-12 09:35:17

I entirely agree it'd be her choice. If indeed it is her choice.
I suspect she is under enormous pressure to fullfil contractural obligations and will be aware that her time as one of TVs pretty faces is time limited hmm.

Re mat leave: yes, it's a total bore, I personally found vast parts of looking after infants horribly boring, frustrating and of course hard work, but still think that initial time with new babies is so important for them that more rather than less parental leave that can be shared equally between both parents should be the way forward.

owlelf Sun 12-Feb-12 09:35:59

Maybe she really really enjoys doing BGT? Maybe the money she gets from it will see her family right for the foreseeable? Maybe she doesn't have anything else lined up for the future?

As other posters have said she will have a team backing her up. Both she and the baby will be well looked after. In sure there is plenty if time for cuddles inbetween shoots.

Not sure why everyone is assuming that deep down she doesn't want to bd going this confused.

samandi Sun 12-Feb-12 09:37:42

Perhaps she doesn't feel the need to be around a squaling baby 24/7. Of course it's shitty if she was pressured to return, but if those are the terms of the contract those are the terms. If it's her choice however I think it's daft to be making such judgemental comments as some of those on this thread. Not everyone deals with trauma the same way, and there seems to be a lot of projection going on here.

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 09:39:26

In sure there is plenty if time for cuddles inbetween shoots.

I doubt she's travelling between Edinburgh and London to cuddle the baby between shoots!

LaBoccaDellaVerita Sun 12-Feb-12 09:40:26

Good God at the character assassination of SC! Do you know him then quicklookbusy? Have you ever worked for him? On what do you base your exceedingly judgey and snidey post?

No - I don't know him nor have I or will I ever work for him but given that I'd probably think twice before denouncing him as a complete monster of a slave driver. Your post was absurd.

VickityBoo Sun 12-Feb-12 09:41:39

Well...after my emergency c-sec I rested too much I think. Didn't get out of bed really for over a day, let people do things for me etc. Took forever to heal and feel better.

A lady I know had a c-section a year ago, she was up and about at the gym part-time (her job) within the month. Looking great inside and out.

This time I may have to have another section, definitely going to be up and about and moving around quicker. I will have a 4yo so less choice in the matter.

TopazMortmain Sun 12-Feb-12 09:41:46

YANBU to wonder but this thread is making me hmm at all the knicker hoisting and harrumphing. Who cares if she is back at work / dancing the two step / knitting jackets out of weasel wool? Does not matter a jot to anyone but her and her family and I presume they are in on the reasons.

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 09:42:31

I also don't think what "she feels up to" is much of a guide. I "felt up to" a shopping trip a week after my cs and ended up back in hospital 2 days later with an infection. I massively overestimated what I could do and set my recovery back as a result.

VickityBoo Sun 12-Feb-12 09:43:03

I imagine Simon Cowell is a very caring friend actually, a lot of what we see is for the cameras.

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 09:45:40

It matters because when a public figure does something like this it increases the expectations heaped on all new mothers. We get precious little recovery time as it is!

Meglet Sun 12-Feb-12 09:51:58

I feel very sorry for her. The BGT is probably the best she can get and if she loses that she won't have much to fall back on. She's not exactly an A-lister these days.

I was told by midwives and nurses that being too active after a CS is a bad idea, they just say it to clear the beds quicker. I'm sure her baby is fine and backstage but her body has been through a lot. Horrible cut-throat simon cowell and show business sad.

QuickLookBusy Sun 12-Feb-12 09:53:35

vickity sorry but Simon cowell only thinks of himself. I know people who work with him.

No one will say anything against him in public beca

PoohBearsHole Sun 12-Feb-12 09:54:55

I see him as very driven, like Richard Branson and Bill Gates. Driven to succeed in their chosen fields and be successful at what they do. Nothing wrong with it in the slightest and I would expect that they keep business life and personal life very seperate so even if they are arseholes at work they could be teddy bears at home? Or Vice Versa. This is in the context of work though and ultimately SC needs someone there regardless for the duration. If AH can't do it he will find someone else to fill that role very easily one would imagine, and the fact is he needs someone in that role.

TidyDancer Sun 12-Feb-12 09:56:55

I'll admit to being stunned she intended to return so quickly, even before all the CS and ICU drama that happened for her. And while I personally don't judge her for it (I'm sure she had her reasons), I don't think she's going to come off very well in the wider public perception.

QuickLookBusy Sun 12-Feb-12 09:59:43

Sorry pressed too soon

Simon holds so much power, no one on the business would say anything against him in public. In private however he is known as someone who will appear very nice to your face then will get someone else to do his dirty work to get rid of you if you do something he doesn't like.

owlelf Sun 12-Feb-12 10:03:36

cutegorilla you are right, not much time for cuddles!! Apologies, I didn't realise that they were at different ends of the country.

I did scan the thread, but missed that bit.

I won't be watching BGT. Alesha Dixon and her annoying laugh, and David Walliams just being David Walliams? Let alone AH and SC. No ta.

Doobydoo Sun 12-Feb-12 10:05:08

Agree with Poobearshole's first post.

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 10:08:07

I'd imagine that's because Amanda is not well enough to travel up there other than by flying and the baby is too young to fly.

I find it very interesting comparing the responses on this thread to the ones on a thread about someone expected to go to a wedding soon after a planned cs. People on there were horrified at the very thought.

EauDeLaPoisson Sun 12-Feb-12 10:23:19

Cute- the wedding one was totally different. This is a grown adult who has CHOSEN to return to work. You have no idea of the reasons why. Are you quite so vocal about other choices mothers make that you don't deign to be 'right'?? What does it matter to YOU??

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 10:24:07

Here it is www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1391304-About-DBros-wedding-and-no-children-rule

The baby in that thread was expected to be 10 days old, not so different from 2 weeks.

EauDeLaPoisson Sun 12-Feb-12 10:28:36

Again the lady in that thread didn't WANT to travel miles and leave her baby- if she'd have WANTED to I'm sure people would have been quite supportive of her choice being an adult and everything

LisaD1 Sun 12-Feb-12 10:36:09

I feel sory for AH. She is an intelligent woman and sh must therefore know that her shelf life for this kind of thing is limited and I think she must feel an immense pressure to carry on working for as long as possible.

I doubt she relishes the thought of being without her very young baby BUT this is her career and how she supports herself and her family so if SHE feels she wants and or needs to return to work so soon that is HER choice.

Personally, I wouldn't do it but I am not her and don't face her choices, instead I make my own based on how they effect my family. Pretty sure she is just doing what she belives is right for hers.

cutegorilla Sun 12-Feb-12 10:36:17

Well maybe she has chosen, maybe she has been pressured. We don't know do we. The OP in the wedding thread was also a "grown adult" who wanted very much to go to the wedding but was being told by almost everyone that it would not be very sensible to plan to do so.

I say again. I don't think we should be judging Amanda for doing this. I am however worried that it is to the detriment of her health and a very important time with her newborn baby. I am also worried about the pressure that seeing things like this puts on other new mothers. If pressure is put on them to work 2 weeks after a cs because after all Amanda Holden did it. Thing is nobody knows at what cost to her. I just can't imagine that it is easy for her and if it is I think that shows a worrying detachment from a newborn baby!

FWIW if it was 6 weeks after the baby was born I'd be shrugging my shoulders and thinking not my choice but as long as the baby is cared for then I'm sure it's fine. I just think that 2 weeks is way too soon. There's no way she is fully recovered physically. It's just not possible. And the baby is still young enough to be being closely monitored by the HV if not still the MW.

LaughingGas Sun 12-Feb-12 10:45:04

I have gone right off AH since all the return to work after fighting for her life 3 weeks ago.

A warning after what has happened to her in the past seems to go in one ear and out the other.

Sometimes i think she just doesn.t help herself.
And why has she got such a massive and smooth forehead. It gets bigger and shinier and smoother every time i see her!

dikkertjedap Sun 12-Feb-12 10:52:00

It's her choice. I don't feel sorry for her TBH. There are women who want (not necessarily enjoy) to look after their own baby and there are women who don't want to look after their own baby (sometimes due to PND). This has always been like that and probably will never change. In the past, the latter may have abandoned their baby altogether, that luckily only happens very rarely now.

QuickLookBusy Sun 12-Feb-12 11:32:21

LaBocca no I don't personally know SC, but I do personally know people who have worked/work for him.

I'm just posting what I have been told. Maybe they are lying about how a work obsessed, single man who has never had children, expects people who work for him, to be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. With NO excuses, ever.

TheBigJessie Sun 12-Feb-12 12:05:11

The wedding thread was from a woman who hadn't had the baby yet, and who was making plans for afterwards. In the opinion of many, she was being overly optimistic. Thus, many women were very concerned she would make concrete plans that she wouldn't be able to get out of, if things didn't go as well as she hoped.

On the other hand, Amanda Holden has had her baby, and presumably knows exactly how much or how little pain she's in, and whether it's costing her health to do this.

If Amanda had posted a thread (under a pseudonym!) concerning whether she should plan to return to work 2 weeks post-partum, people would've warned her it work out badly.

Mind you, I feel sorry for all the women who will be told "Amanda Holden was back at work after two weeks, and she nearly died . You didn't come near to dying. It's been 4 weeks. You're slacking"

Like other posters said, Ms Holden will have it easier than many other women, but dipsticks won't account for that when they're lambasting women.

TheBigJessie Sun 12-Feb-12 12:10:16

*People would have warned her it might work out badly, and have asked her if she could negotiate a plan B. If she posted now, abou whether she should be judged, well, there would be lots of support for her.

BrianCoxHasScaryHair Sun 12-Feb-12 12:10:17

I was a bit hmm when I read this, not because she is a mother and should be tied to the kitchen sink, but because she has just been through major surgery/been in intensive care etc etc etc.

I'm not saying she needs to lie in bed all day and mope, but a bit of time to recover and heal both mentally and physically would do her some good surely.

Her job isn't taxing, she is well paid, but I fear she will regret not taking a step back.

Unfortunately, had she not returned to work she would have been replaced with a younger model PDQ, such is the way of the business she is in. I imagine that had more to do with her reasoning than any love for the job.

I feel sorry for her. I personally couldn't imagine leaving such a young baby at home BUT I'm not her and it's up to her to judge how to live her life.

givemeaclue Sun 12-Feb-12 12:21:01

YABU

presumably she feels well enough -all she has to do is watch some acts and press a buzzer. its hardly strenous. presumably baby is being looked after by DH or similar. its one day.

I went to watch the auditions one year, the judges watched a few acts, had a break, watched a few acts, more break, more acts job done. I would imagine most invalids would manage to do it.

people love to criticise!

givemeaclue Sun 12-Feb-12 12:22:00

also, if chezza cole can turn up at x factor with malaria - its poor show if AH calls in sick...

givemeaclue Sun 12-Feb-12 12:23:54

all these people saying pressure on other people to return to work after 2 weeks because AH did it - presumably most people's jobs don't involve getting paid thousands to press a buzzer whilstwatching a belly dancer....

TheBigJessie Sun 12-Feb-12 12:53:29

?givemeaclue

"all these people saying pressure on other people to return to work after 2 weeks because AH did it - presumably most people's jobs don't involve getting paid thousands to press a buzzer whilstwatching a belly dancer..."

Precisely. That's what worries me.

valkilly Sun 12-Feb-12 12:54:11

The thing is, she knew when she signed up to this season of BGT that she was pregnant, so presumably this was all discussed in advance. I'm sure that the baby arriving early threw things a bit (maybe the auditions were due to be over by the time she was due?) but SC obviously knew it was likely she would give birth and have to miss a few auditions. I doubt anyone expected she would end up in ICU, but if she has contractual obligations, then she has to honour them or lose the job (and risk being permanently replaced).

I understand the arguments about bonding with her newborn, but she was probably away for a day. I'm adopted, birth mum left hospital 2 days after having me, I was cared for in a large hospital type ward thing until being placed with my adoptive family at 4 months old. In spite of all this, my mum and I have a great bond and we're not even blood relatives!

We have to just trust that she's trying to financially secure her family's future while she can and assume she's being well cared for by doctors and family.

Good luck to her smile

TopazMortmain Sun 12-Feb-12 13:07:55

All the judging on this thread is horrible.

Women are our own worst enemies. Damned if we do. Damned if we don't.

If she hadn't have done it, I don't think we would have had a thread saying 'AIBU to think thet Amanda Holden should have gone back to BGT 3 weeks after giving birth' though Topaz.

Gribble Sun 12-Feb-12 13:18:33

yabu for thinking that what she does is work

noviceoftheday Sun 12-Feb-12 13:25:23

I think its simple. She was unlikely to have been under contractual obligation to return but she wanted to return because if she didn't and her replacement had been more successful then she wouldn't have got a place on next years judging panel. SC only agrees contracts year on year so there's nothing legally wrong with that. AH knows the score. She is self-employed and this is the main way she makes her income. Her business is in being "current" and being seen in the right places to keep her revenues high. I am hazarding a guess that most people on the thread are employees. I don't think you can compare the two positions. Sometimes as a self employed person you have to make unpalatable decisions but as I say you know the score.

historyrepeats Sun 12-Feb-12 13:30:51

It wouldn't be my choice, I 'd rather be enjoying my NB and recovering. But I suppose if going back to work is neccesary for whatever reason at this time then so be it. smile I do think the deaths door thing must be a PR stunt.

scottishmummy Sun 12-Feb-12 13:31:27

up to her.its hardly ardous its tv schlock
so no shes not doing hard work.

Did anyone see the thing in the Sunday Times (I know, I know!) news review last Sunday about the 5 things most commonly regretted by people on their death bed?
Not spending enough time with friends and family was there. And a brand-new newborn is the closest 'family' I can imagine.

I am not judging her. As others have said, we have no idea about the ins and outs of how she arrived at the decision to go back.
But she will never, ever be able to get this time with her baby back.

KristinaM Sun 12-Feb-12 13:42:08

Point of information-the woman on the wedding thread had had spinal surgery and a kidney transplant AS WELL AS a cs. And she was travellig against mediacl advice. she was planning to travel to scotland my train, not fly. she didnt have a chauffuer etc. And she planned to bf.

So not really the same circumstances at all

scottishmummy Sun 12-Feb-12 13:45:41

oh the ole emotive deathbed wish i had....
maybe ah will also be proud of her work and her family
being in media is time limited,imagine ah knows that hence need to maintain profile whilst she is current

shes not gone for a prolonged period nor is she missing a precious moment

scottishmummy, I take you point.
I have never once met anybody regret at the end of their life that they did not spend more time in the office... hmm.

But yeah, her choice. I remain unconvinced that it is a genuine 'choice'.

And as far as her as a celebrity setting a precedent for other new mother - pah! As soon as every new mother is provided with staff, I might go with that - might!

noviceoftheday Sun 12-Feb-12 14:03:48

Unless she gets a job on EastEnders or Corrie where she is permanently involved in a major story line (so working hours like "normal" people, AH will always have much more time with her dcs than most people. So yup on her deathbed she's likely to be thinking that it was a good thing that she did this gig for a few weeks so that she was able to have precious moments without having to do a 9-5 job for the next 30 years like everyone else her age.

Gather your rosebuds whilst you may

callmemrs Sun 12-Feb-12 14:17:11

I think the old deathbed thing is a pile of shite too scottishmummy. Ok, I am hardly likely to turn round and say , gosh, sitting in an office was the most exiting part of my job'. But in the course of my work, I have traveled to Places I wouldn't otherwise have been, Learned new skills and ideas, met people I wouldn't otherwise have come across... And yes, I do think many people regret not having achieved certain things and done certain things in their life, some of which may well be experiences and opportunities which they could have had through work.

As for wishing they'd spent more time with their kids, well, the only people I've heard voice that regret have been retired men who had very pressured work lives, often accepting promotions, travelling widely and working insane hours to support a non working wife. So go figure!!

I think AH is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. And I also think what she's doing is probably less physically demanding than many women 3 weeks post section who are looking after a new born and older kids all day.

Nobody on their deathbed would be wishing they had watched more of Amanda Holden on BGT. grin

I don't know if her condition was exaggerated, when pg with DC1 I suffered blood poisoning and nearly died, my notes described me as moribund! I was back at work 8 days later. You can recover quickly and as people have said its not a taxing job, especially when you don't have to battle public transport.

A job likes hers will be intense at times but the trade off is the financial freedom to spend lots of time with her DCs at others. Only she knows what is right for her family situation, and I'm sure she will have considered that!

rhondajean Sun 12-Feb-12 14:23:47

If it was Amanda's husband returning to work no one would blink an eye. As long as she is physically ok and satisfied the baby is well cared for, good on her. She's probably in a slightly privileged position that baby could go with her to work.

I'd want to do the same in her shoes. And I do think this threads just showing women being unsupportive of each other yet again. This thread is too new but another one on same topics quoted in today's mail on Sunday you know.

holidaywoe Sun 12-Feb-12 14:49:55

I just knew there would be a Holden thread on here this morning!
FFS she has flown up to Scotland for 1 day its hardly like she's gone back to the office 9-5 is it now?
In her position I would have done the same, after all who knows how long BGT will last and its prob a major part of her income. Its not like she will get maternity pay and if she didnt do this seris who's to say she woud get back on the panel for next time.
As for her projecting unreal expectations on other mothers thats not her problem or fault. Its us women who are our own worst enemies, the way we on one hand want the right to make our choices and be respected for them yet in the next breath crucifice other women for making choices that we dont agree with !!

learningtofly Sun 12-Feb-12 14:57:33

The sceptical part of me thinks its all publicity for BGT!

Ifancyashandy Sun 12-Feb-12 15:16:54

AH will have had to undergo a strict medical for insurance purposes. If she its back at work, she will have been deemed medically, physically, ready to be. The insurance company will have specified the medics who checked her out and they'll have erred on the side of caution - they do not want to have to pay out if they've said she's fit to work and she turns out not to be!

And SC would not have pushed her to return. The absolute opposite. He's incredibly understanding and supporting in these sorts of circs. Have worked with him.

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