to be really fuming at my cleaner over this last infraction?

(98 Posts)
likesthingsjustso Mon 19-Dec-11 22:37:11

I have had my cleaner now twice a week for 3 years.She spends about 8 hours here over 2 days.She is lovely and efficient but doesn't have "an eye" iykwim?Everytime she comes I have to shift ornaments back into the correct clusters as she just pops them on the shelf and spreads them to fill the space,equidistant, yes, but not appealing to the eye.She also, when she makes the beds, doesn't put the opening side of the pillow case to the centre of the double beds so you can see the opening bit when you walk in the room. I have addressed these issues and she knows that these are KPIs and is getting better, but is still not perfect.We sit together and have a bit of tea and toast (I make it)before she starts work and she understands that this is on her own time, and then gets on with her 4 hours while I nip to the gym, or meet friends.She's very good at timekeeping lol.And I pay her the cash on time everytime,so I guess we have quite a good working relationship.I have even treated her to a day a naice Spa for her Christmas gift, although I was slightly bemused by her reaction - I would of thought she would have been more effusive.Oh well.
The latest mishap has really bothered me today-I came home today after she had left and the Christmas Tree lights were flashing.She must of taken the plug out for something and when it was replugged, the multi-function LED lights had obviously come on on random flash,whereas we obviously leave it on static.No-one in this neighbourhood has flashing gawdy lights.I'm so embarrassed, and worried as to what people will be saying on the school run in the morning.I'm just struggling as to how to fraze it so that this never happens again. sad

BillyBigBaubles Mon 19-Dec-11 22:39:09

Get over yourself! [End of message]

slavetothehome Mon 19-Dec-11 22:39:52


pommedenoel Mon 19-Dec-11 22:40:01

Phrase not fraze.

Do you think you could do with a job or similar?

jendifa Mon 19-Dec-11 22:41:17


likesthingsjustso Mon 19-Dec-11 22:41:18

I have a hobby.

IwishIwasmoresparkly Mon 19-Dec-11 22:41:30


My first ever - consider yourself honoured!

TeamSledward Mon 19-Dec-11 22:41:31

7 out of 10, for effort.

peggyblackett Mon 19-Dec-11 22:41:38

Haha very funny

Is this a windup thread?

If not

Do you have OCD issues, as all of the things you list are more a preference to you than and issue on her part.

I'd be a bit miffed if you called me up for your bloody lights flashing on multi particularly the reasons you give..

frownieface Mon 19-Dec-11 22:42:02

sniff sniff, i smell the underneath of a bridge

D0G Mon 19-Dec-11 22:42:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brodiesmum Mon 19-Dec-11 22:42:35

i would be more embarrassed about spelling phrase incorrectly if i were you. yabu. so unreasonable actually i feel that by posting this response i'm walking into a trap by someone posting that complaint for a laugh! get a life!

Bewilderedmum Mon 19-Dec-11 22:43:27

Ha Ha Ha! Jolly Good try - you had me going for a second... smile

lockets Mon 19-Dec-11 22:43:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grubbalo Mon 19-Dec-11 22:44:09

Not bad but the naice gives it away...

RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel Mon 19-Dec-11 22:44:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheAvocadoOfWisdom Mon 19-Dec-11 22:45:04


GsyGacheFiend Mon 19-Dec-11 22:45:44

grin grin grin

MenopausalHaze Mon 19-Dec-11 22:45:55

No way is this a 7/10 wind up. 2 at best. 3 if the judges are pissed but deffo no more than that!

GreenIceAndChristmasHam Mon 19-Dec-11 22:46:05

She is displaying a basic lack of respect for you, your family and your home. Your sanctuary.

I could not accept this, this would be a dealbreaker for me- equidistant ornamentation FFS, is this the 90's??

Sack her. Sack her now, and withhold damages from her Christmas pay.

MrsPeterDoherty Mon 19-Dec-11 22:46:46

And the opening ends of pillowcases should be at the edges of the bed, not in the middlegrin

MrsKwaziipanFruits Mon 19-Dec-11 22:47:21

Flashing lights - your social standing will be just ruined dahhling! Put the house up for sale and start afresh in a new town, it's the only thing to do wink

likesthingsjustso Mon 19-Dec-11 22:47:38

Oh no they shouldn't.

pinkyp Mon 19-Dec-11 22:48:21

2/10 grin

Bohica Mon 19-Dec-11 22:48:25

You lost me when you LOL'd.

PreviouslyonLost Mon 19-Dec-11 22:48:40

Op does have a point about pillowcase openings tbf...naysayers have clearly never done a hospital corner in your life under the watchful stare eye of an old style ward Matron.

The rest I don't give a flying fuck about to be honest grin

OldGreyWassailTest Mon 19-Dec-11 22:49:31

Oh, you POOR dear. It must be soooo upsetting for you. Sack her on Christmas Eve without pay, that'll teach her not to have an 'eye'.

Icelollycraving Mon 19-Dec-11 22:50:39

Obvious but raised a small smile.

WorraLiberty Mon 19-Dec-11 22:54:02

3/10 from me

A lot of effort for such a little result sad

I enjoyed this one grin

I say 2/10, unless there is more you would like to add?

5ofus Mon 19-Dec-11 22:56:40

2/10. Rubbish.

Even I spotted it...

Eclairwaldorf Mon 19-Dec-11 22:57:02

Poor attempt tbh.

But if it is an actual scenario, I would stick the cleaner on top of the tree. Then see how she likes the flashing lights grin

EricNordmanfirandMistletoe Mon 19-Dec-11 22:58:09

Dude you should have spell checked. Way off the mark with your 'could of' and your lol as well.

4/10 must try harder.

TheAvocadoOfWisdom Mon 19-Dec-11 23:00:34

pillowcases should have both open ends facing away from the door, or to the left if the door is facing the foot of the bed. If they're facing in, both of them, then one pillowcase is upside-down. Ugh.

I worry about the open ends of pillowcases blush I usually have them on the outside or both pointing the same way <muses>

hohohoshedittant Mon 19-Dec-11 23:02:25

funny, but please it's 'would have' or 'would've' not 'would of'.

ravenAK Mon 19-Dec-11 23:09:16

You could of made more have an effort with this one. Sorry! grin

TuftyFinch Mon 19-Dec-11 23:10:29

You are obviously buying cheap pillowcases because proper ones should have the opening on the back. They are called housemaids pillow cases. You can only get them in white or blue/white colour way.

I don't know why you've got coloured lights.All electrical decorations should be white. That's if you follow 'The Code of Christmas' which I would assume you do. Don't blame your cleaner. She will follow your lead. Poor fellow.

Dawndonnathatchristmasiscoming Mon 19-Dec-11 23:11:44


Jacksmania Mon 19-Dec-11 23:14:32

God, how embarrassing.
There's really only one thing you can do - write everyone on your street a note and explain that it was the cleaner.
Otherwise you know they're going to be giggling about you behind your back until the lights come up next year. Nobody will be able to meet your eye in the street.
Go on, if you start now you'll be done by the weekend, it won't be so bad.

coldwed Mon 19-Dec-11 23:15:17

I hate these waste of time threads. Wouldn't be so bad if they were actually funny. 2 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

YuleingFanjo Mon 19-Dec-11 23:16:38

what's your hobby?

lisaro Mon 19-Dec-11 23:18:08


RachelHRD Mon 19-Dec-11 23:23:41

biscuit grin

MCos Mon 19-Dec-11 23:30:46

Windup - but gave me a giggle. So thanks!

NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain Mon 19-Dec-11 23:32:09


NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain Mon 19-Dec-11 23:34:06

If you were as refined as you are trying to appear, you might want to take a glance over your sentence structure and punctuation.

Ta ta.

Scrubbed Mon 19-Dec-11 23:36:30


Can I just say that I have tried my hardest at cleaning your utter hole of a pit.

Youu've give just enough away in your post and I saw this on a fb like and I thought it looked familiar.

If all you think you've got to worry about is wrong facing pillows in your bedroom, then you are WRONG.

That box under the wardrobe with the love beads...?

I better get a good reference.

Fecklessdizzy Mon 19-Dec-11 23:46:33

Yeah, and wait 'til you see what she's left under your bed ... grin

Scrubbed Mon 19-Dec-11 23:48:13

Iknow what she's left under her bed.

Lets just say she doesn't use the vibe fresh wipes that Ann Summers sells . Dutty cah

swanker Tue 20-Dec-11 00:01:22

6/10, but you gave yourself away with 'would of'... grin

and 'fraze'

GoingForGoalWeight Tue 20-Dec-11 00:07:15


biscuit with knobs on

suntansue Tue 20-Dec-11 09:31:20

I'm impressed with 8hrs of cleaning a week, there is some that only spend 30 mins :/

Flyingoutofcontrol Tue 20-Dec-11 09:38:17

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh!

Have my first biscuit

Made me grin though! grin

hackmum Tue 20-Dec-11 09:41:09

Well, I smiled.

As for wasting people's time with pointless posts, if we were all that worried about wasting our time we probably wouldn't be on Mumsnet in the first place:-)

likesthingsjustso Tue 20-Dec-11 10:11:38

Well Scrubbed.If that's really you?Please could you look at para13, subsection 57a of your contract?Who's job is it to check the RR for cleanliness and wear and tear?Another failing on your part, I do believe.

Dawndonnathatchristmasiscoming Tue 20-Dec-11 10:45:53

Please use the space bar!

crashdoll Tue 20-Dec-11 11:07:21

Merry Christmas OP! biscuit

lol - leave the bitch!

redrubyshoes Tue 20-Dec-11 11:13:19

What colour are the lights OP? I mean coloured flashing lights is just social suicide but white might and only might mean you have got away with it.

I have my fingers crossed for you you idle old harridan grin

LizzieMo Tue 20-Dec-11 11:23:05

Eeek, I have never even thought about which way my pillowcase openings face. Now I will be worrying the whole time about what previous visitors to my house may be secretly thinking about my bed making skills!! Or actually, I couldn't give a stuff which way round or what people think. So there. If I worked for you you could sack me as well!

SusanneLinder Tue 20-Dec-11 11:39:17

Thought this was going to be a funny bun fight-it wasn't!

Epic fail!

SantasStrapon Tue 20-Dec-11 11:47:01

Your fault for buying such hideous lights. Nobody with even a modicum of taste, or class, would ever consider buying light like yours. And, as for the pillowcases, as Tufty says, if you will buy cheap linen...

I think you should be grateful you've found a Treasure who is willing to work under these circumstances.

<sticks nose in air>

Malificence Tue 20-Dec-11 12:55:22

Flashing tree lights? Whatever next. You can borrow my shotgun - take her to the bottom of the garden and dispatch her with one to the head, it's the only way, it's simply not good enough.

deste Tue 20-Dec-11 12:59:28

Would of, must of. That alone gave you away.

Lambzig Tue 20-Dec-11 13:01:00

Dont worry, your social standing is already non-existent due to the fact you have enough ornaments to have them in clusters. Shudder.

DuchessofMalfi Tue 20-Dec-11 13:21:51

How utterly ghastly for you.

elfyrespect Tue 20-Dec-11 13:25:58

grin Good one!

Mandy2003 Tue 20-Dec-11 13:33:11

Scrubbed - "That box under the wardrobe with the love beads - well I wee'd in it!!!"

donnie Tue 20-Dec-11 13:37:48

Oh dear God it is MUST HAVE



Oh, and re the flashing lights? entirely in keeping with someone right up there on the summit of Chav Mountain, as you are.

izzywhizzysmincepies Tue 20-Dec-11 13:47:10

You have ornaments, lights that flash, and your only staff is a cleaner twice a week to keep your establishment in pristine order ???!!! <<shudders>>

You're so far down the social rung that 'aspirational' is an ambition too far for you in this lifetime, honey.

FreudianSlipper Tue 20-Dec-11 13:49:07

you have lights on your christmas tree shock

oh dear flashing or not that is frightfully common

Moodykat Tue 20-Dec-11 13:52:21

I thought it was quite funny!blush

VikingLady Tue 20-Dec-11 13:54:40

Sorry, I am fairly new to MN. Is this a serious post? I only wish my problems were that minor!

Going to check my pillow cases now.

VikingLady Tue 20-Dec-11 13:55:25

Good job I live in a dodgy area! Some pillow case openings towards the centre, of the bed, some to the sides! Shameful.

PlumpDogPillionaire Tue 20-Dec-11 14:05:47

Poor form 'grading' this splendid OP like this, MNers, especially when justso has used made such elegant use of the word 'infraction'. And what do you do? Pick on 'fraze'. shock
Well, well, ladies, if you can't say something nice... <then most MN threads wouldn't get far past the op...>

brew justso? Or may I call you likesthings?

HowAboutAHotCupOfShutTheHellUp Tue 20-Dec-11 14:20:37

Piss poor effort. Fail. Next.

likesthingsjustso Tue 20-Dec-11 14:25:37

Thanks for the tea, Pillion.Now, if someone can link me to the academic research that proves there is a correlation between ability to own a cleaner and grammatical accuracy, I'd be very interested to peruse it. hmm
FFS, I'd like to see all you nayslayers do a parody. The grammar, syntax, and inadequate spellings nay have been a red herring, perhaps?

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 20-Dec-11 14:28:51

ha ha - had me going till the xmas tree lights - the rest actually sounds like our cleaner grin

AmazingBouncingJesus Tue 20-Dec-11 14:36:42

LeQueen is that you?


I sacked my cleaner when she forgot to put the end of the toilet roll into a point and her napkins on the tables resembled cats and not swans.

Honestly, you just cant get the staff these days smile

redrubyshoes Tue 20-Dec-11 15:24:27

I put my cleaner into a little fox outfit and we hunted her on Boxing Day. It was such fun and solved the problem of sacking her.

MarthasHarbour Tue 20-Dec-11 16:05:50

ah lovely, a liddle bit of light relief for the festive season! grin

The op sounds scarily like my dp's aunt!

GretaGip Fri 16-Nov-12 00:11:39


TacticalWheelbarrow Fri 16-Nov-12 00:15:00

Sack the lazy cow!

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 16-Nov-12 00:15:01

Why are you dragging up threads from a year ago - aren't there already enough Christmas threads from THIS year? hmm

missingmumxox Fri 16-Nov-12 00:16:55

grin killed myself laughing, oddly unlike the rest of you I just thought "how common Christmas tree up in November!"
epic fail

It was December. Last year. confused

Nuttyprofessor Fri 16-Nov-12 11:39:24

Where you went wrong was with the tea and toast, you should not blur the lines of social class. I know this because MIL told me when I mistakenly invited the nanny to Christmas dinner for no good reason other than she was alone miles from home.

Zombie thread reviver at work again. Just why?

Lovecat Fri 16-Nov-12 11:47:52

I was just about to post why tf are your lights up in November when I realised it was a zombie thread. Gah.

WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain Fri 16-Nov-12 12:16:41

There's lost of 'would ofs' and 'should ofs' - I would suggest you spend the time the cleaner is cleaning going to English Classes at your local education centre. They might just drum into you a few 'would haves' instead.

CaptainSolo Fri 16-Nov-12 12:19:42

I assumed this must be a reverse AIBU due to the poor grammar and spelling and that the OP was actually the cleaner in question.

Either that or a WAG.................

monal Fri 16-Nov-12 12:29:21

Personally I wouldn't allow a set of flashing lights in the house. You only have yourself to blame.

givemeaclue Fri 16-Nov-12 12:40:16

People , this thread is a year old why are you commenting on it?!

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