to think SOMEONE must be able to help a desperate child?

(264 Posts)
crispface Tue 15-Nov-11 20:01:21

am posting this on behalf of another mumsnetter whose son lost his favourite monkey over 2 years ago, and still cries for him.

The monkey has been discontinued by the white company, and no amount of desperate searches can help.

Now mumsnet is a big old world - can ANYONE help a poor little lad and make his christmas?

picture here

Bumblebadass Tue 15-Nov-11 20:04:20

Oh no.

That made me well up a bit.

I don't know where you could get one, but bumping for you.

girliefriend Tue 15-Nov-11 20:08:09

He is a lovely monkey - do IKEA not do something similiar?

<off to investigate>

ebay?

cozietoesie Tue 15-Nov-11 20:16:48

One sold on ebay in July. Nothing there at the moment though as far as I can see.

cozietoesie Tue 15-Nov-11 20:19:14

Except that - there's a bear for sale now which looks VERY similar. Could she buy him that and say that he's been sent by the monkey on a visit?

maxybrown Tue 15-Nov-11 20:20:41

that's a diff one cozie

Sianilaa Tue 15-Nov-11 20:21:04
Sianilaa Tue 15-Nov-11 20:21:43

oh bum wrong one sad

Beamur Tue 15-Nov-11 20:22:11

No help with the monkey - but if you are able to find a similar one - maybe a read of 'Tatty Ratty' by Helen Cooper first might help the new arrival be accepted.

DogStinkhorn Tue 15-Nov-11 20:22:30

Could you get one knitted?

lubeybooby Tue 15-Nov-11 20:22:47

Sianilaa has it I think with that link grin

lubeybooby Tue 15-Nov-11 20:23:49

Oh bum yes i see the differences now. sad

crispface Tue 15-Nov-11 20:25:23

that monkey was sold in July sad

I think the original mumsnetter did ask someone on ebay. Hang on whilst i find the original message from her.

I have no idea why I am soo intent on finding this particular monkey, I don't even know the family grin It must have just touched a chord with me.

StealthPenguin Tue 15-Nov-11 20:26:23

I found that one on eBay too, it's such a shame as he's a gorgeous monkey! Poor woman sad

RomanKindle Tue 15-Nov-11 20:26:30

I was going to say it looks very similar to the sock monkeys people sell. If you told them what colours you wanted and provided them with a picture I'm sure someone could make something very similar. There are loads of people who do them who have shops on Facebook.

McPhee Tue 15-Nov-11 20:36:45

what about this one.....http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BTWT-soft-toy-knitted-bear-little-white-company-/320793191216?pt=UK_Soft_Toys_Bears&hash=item4ab0c3a330#ht_500wt_1287

Would he notice the colours were different??

McPhee Tue 15-Nov-11 20:37:22
crispface Tue 15-Nov-11 20:39:17

oooh that looks GOOD McPhee. No idea if it is a "good enough" replacement, or if the boy would need one exactly the same.....am waiting for the mumsnetter to come back on the thread. Will link her to it though, thank you smile

McPhee Tue 15-Nov-11 20:41:24

I've been through every search I could think of and this is the closest I can find. Fingers crossed then smile

muffinflop Tue 15-Nov-11 20:54:10

I'm confused. A 2 year old lost a monkey 2 years ago and still cries for it?

muffinflop Tue 15-Nov-11 20:55:48

Ah ok just re-read it and I'm assuming it's more the mum upset at losing a toy given to her son on the day of his birth? That makes more sense!

lisad123 Tue 15-Nov-11 21:00:30

I saw post the other night and also went on the online hunt but came back with nothing sad someone must have one!!

JamieComeHome Tue 15-Nov-11 21:04:17

Get this book for her/him:

Tatty Ratty by Helen Cooper (?)

JamieComeHome Tue 15-Nov-11 21:05:27

there is something very similar in our local toy shop......

The book, BTW, is about a little girl who loses her toy rabbit. It's lovely

I saw the post the other night too and went off searching. Could'nt find anything!
Have just tried again with no luck sad

crispface Tue 15-Nov-11 21:22:28

muffin, the boy is now 4.....

Fourstickymitts Tue 15-Nov-11 21:22:34

There seem to be a few people on ebay that make sock moneys, etc. Could you maybe get one made? Here

Fourstickymitts Tue 15-Nov-11 21:26:47

oops, that should have been monkey

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 21:34:13

Crispface thank you SO much!!! Cannot believe you went to the trouble of doing this for me. You are so kind.

It's my little boy who lost the monkey and I posted over the weekend in Chat and Toys Reunited but with no luck. My little boy is now 4 and a half. He was given this monkey on the day he was born by my Dad and literally went everywhere with it till I lost it on a day out 2 years ago. He was absolutely heartbroken. We hunted everywhere after that, I went on toy collector forums, searched car boot sales and even got White Company to forward a letter to the manufacturers. We did everything we could to find him for well over a year but no joy. I looked for the first time in ages recently after he got upset again when he saw a baby picture of himself with it. Found the one on eBay and was completely gutted when I realised I missed the sale. I even emailed the seller but it was long gone by then.

We've found tons of striped teddies over the years but this one was just so special. I think it meant so much to my Dad too that he loved it so much. Thank you all for looking. It would make Grandpa and Grandson's Xmas if I could find it again but I'm starting to think this monkey sadly doesn't want to be found.

JamieComeHome Tue 15-Nov-11 21:35:58

Cheese- did you see my post about the Tatty Ratty book - it's a lovely story. I bought it for DS1 when we lost "Oscar"

Are you on facebook? If so have you tried posting a photo???

CheerfulYank Tue 15-Nov-11 21:46:12

Did you try contacting the White Company?

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 21:48:32

Looking up book now thanks Jamie. May have to get that for Xmas. A friend gave us a sock monkey a while ago but my DS just didn't understand how it was supposed to replace 'Stripes' and it led to more tears. This book sounds so sweet and might help that. I think it's partly because of my Dad too that I've become so desperate to track the original down. He searched for a replacement for so long when he went missing. We're spending Xmas Day together this year and I thought Father Xmas bringing 'Stripes' back might make both their days. Can't believe I have got myself in such a pickle over a toy monkey.

McPhee Tue 15-Nov-11 21:49:19

Cheese, did you look at the ebay link I put up?

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 21:53:58

We did contact White Company at the time but they had discontinued it. Think it was just available the summer he was born. They advised to try their outlet stores but by then even they too had sold out. They forwarded a letter for me to their manufacturers but they couldn't help either. It was like all the monkeys had fallen in a black hole and disappeared. I searched eBay for well over a year convinced it would turn up so I can't believe that I then missed the only one that ever did.

Gosh, have never seen so many people browsing one thread on [whispers] netmums.

Really hope someone can help out. Sadly I can't.

Bumblebadass Tue 15-Nov-11 21:55:47

Cheese - I have a feeling there's a function on ebay that you can set up to notify you if something specific you are looking for is listed.

Have no idea how accurate it is but vaguely remembered doing it trying to get a particular record a few years ago.

Have you tried that? Will have a look on ebay to see if the function is still there...

Did you look at the link that Sianilaa found?
Could you tell him that 'stripes' has been on a really long holiday and changed his stripes?
I realy feel for you. Ds lost Dbear not long ago. Luckily I found another one on ebay and bought it. Even more luckily we found Dbear the next day! When replacement Dbear got here it looked compleatly different (i.e Clean and unloved), I would've have told ds that he had been on a magic holiday to make him all clean and fluffy again. And kept my fingers crossed!!

squeakytoy Tue 15-Nov-11 21:56:22

You could try asking on twitter... and ask a "celeb" to retweet it for you. A lot of them are really kind and would do that to get you more responses.

squeakytoy thats a brilliant idea!!!!

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 22:00:56

I did thanks McPhee but it's sadly not the one. I'm a bit nervous about getting another replacement that's not the same monkey as I worry it might lead to more tears about the original rather than cheering him up. Maybe the book might help that though and I shall keep on searching. Thank you all for the kind messages and great ideas. Where are you Monkey??!

Tweet Holly Wiloughby (sorry about the spelling!) get it on This Morning! Someones bound to have one somewhere! Love This morning grin

maxybrown Tue 15-Nov-11 22:08:20

oh heck cheese, we have to get him now!! Shall i put an ad up on the for sale/wanted boards here for you?

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 22:12:00

I've never been on Twitter - do you think that would work? Can ask around friends to see if they have an account and could help. It's like a worldwide monkey mission!

crispface Tue 15-Nov-11 22:12:11

am loving how this thread has grown - people have MUCH better ideas than I - so I shall bow out gracefully.

If I had twitter I'd get it tweeted for you, especially by a celeb - fantastic idea! but I don't - Could someone do this for cheeseandbunion?

good luck!! i shall keep a watch smile

bumbleymummy Tue 15-Nov-11 22:12:23

Oh this is so sad! I lost my bunny on holiday in Spain when i was 4 sad We have to find Stripes! I love the twitter idea. I don't use it myself but I know lots of people who do and the search could spread very quickly that way.

I'm on twitter. Do you want me to have a go??

TwoIfBySea Tue 15-Nov-11 22:17:59

Can't see link @ the moment but sock monkeys are so very easy to make. Find a similar material and it should be good to go. Alternatively a material that he would recognise or like for a new toy.

I used to make those kind of toys, the sock puppies always sold out first though but then I'm not keen on monkeys! If stuck I'd be glad to help.

TwoIfBySea Tue 15-Nov-11 22:17:59

Can't see link @ the moment but sock monkeys are so very easy to make. Find a similar material and it should be good to go. Alternatively a material that he would recognise or like for a new toy.

I used to make those kind of toys, the sock puppies always sold out first though but then I'm not keen on monkeys! If stuck I'd be glad to help.

needsomeonetolisten Tue 15-Nov-11 22:20:32

They sell those, or something extremely similar in a shop near me. Will look and update tomorrow.

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 22:21:08

Elves that would be great. Will give anything a go (providing I don't have to appear on the telly!)

Ive written out a tweet. Would you like me to send?

Sent! Fingers crossed!

Xmasbaby11 Tue 15-Nov-11 22:27:45

Are you serious - 2 years?! Time to move on. Attachment at that level shouldn't be encouraged.

Jackstini Tue 15-Nov-11 22:30:28

Elves - can you post what your tweet said so any MNers on twitter can retweet it?

RomanKindle Tue 15-Nov-11 22:33:21

Harsh Xmasbaby but I must admit that I did wonder if all the kerfuffle trying to find another one was maybe keeping it at the forefront of the childs mind and causing extra upset. Maybe if you don't find one as a result of this thread it might be a good idea to draw a line under it and get a new special toy for Christmas or 2 just in case

maxybrown Tue 15-Nov-11 22:33:35

was that a no to me then? grin <<reminds oneself to stop wearing invisible cloak>>

McPhee Tue 15-Nov-11 22:34:01

Wonder if my boss would mind me watching This morning all morning tomorrow, just incase Holly gets a result grin

Hmmmm.....

monkey9237 Tue 15-Nov-11 22:34:06

Have you tried calling any White Company outlet stores and asking? I see from Google there's a White Co outlet at 'Gloucester Quays. I got a replacement brooch that I lost that had been discontinued, as well as some discontinued gloves by phoning up Outlet stores. Good luck!

Tweet said - Plz could you take a minute to read this&re-tweet if poss http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/netmums-mums-panel-251/member-requests-185/343480-updated-picture-please-help-lost-my-sons-favourite-teddy.html Desper8 to find stripes the monkey!

I would like to add that I am new to twitter....do you need anything else???

McPhee Tue 15-Nov-11 22:34:52

grin maxibrown

Xmasbaby11 Tue 15-Nov-11 22:36:49

I know it sounds harsh, but children do have to learn to cope with loss. 2 years for a toy is probably an upper limit - how will be cope if a pet or grandparent dies?

Sorry, I am really unsympathetic compared to everyone else! I'm sure if it happened to my DC it woud be a lot harder to be tough.

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 22:46:29

Thanks Elves.

I understand your point Xmasbaby but just to clear it up my son has no idea we're looking for a replacement and until he saw the photo of himself with it recently had not mentioned the monkey in ages. He has had plenty of other teddies since and will be fine if 'Stripes' remains gone. The reason I have avoided buying any other direct replacements is so we don't keep having to revisit the subject and he can just forget about it and move on. BUT if I was to find a new one he would love it and so too would my Dad. This is as much about him as it is about my son. He gave my DS (his first grandchild) the teddy on the day he was born and it would bring a massive smile to his face too if it came back. If it doesn't though they will all be fine, not least because none of them even know I'm still looking!

CheeseAndBunion Tue 15-Nov-11 22:52:14

Maxy!! So sorry, meant to reply sooner and say that's really kind but I will sign up tomorrow to do that. Definitely don't want you to be out of pocket as I think it costs to post there.

Jackstini Tue 15-Nov-11 22:56:08

Also new to twitter but will have a go at finding and sure others will know how!

My mum sent my favourite teddy to Romania (remember the whole romanian orphanage thing?)

I would be over the moon if someone gave fat teddy back to me even now and I'm a hard hearted bitch.

<tries not to be bitter towards mum>

Sorry, but I wouldn't put up with my DD crying for a toy for 2 years...Does he not get bought any new toys?

At aged 4, I'd tell him to get over it.

joannita Tue 15-Nov-11 23:19:16

There's an ebayer called findmytoy or findmycuddlytoy or something similar where you can get 2nd hand toys at slightly more than the original price. I got an old style pink mothercare bedtime bear for my niece from them, after she invented a magic door which she wanted my sister to get her for Christmas. If you go through the door you can see dead people and lost things. her main concern was seeing pink dada again. Haven't read all posts but maybe this could help. Ordered it through Dh's ebay account so don't have access to the seller's name but can check tomorrow if it helps.

exoticfruits Tue 15-Nov-11 23:21:07

I am a bit surprised that people think you can just buy a new toy to make it up and have no understanding-there isn't a lot of empathy in 'get over it'.

exoticfruits Tue 15-Nov-11 23:22:40

I am still upset that my mother gave a stuffed dog away over 40 yrs ago!

exoticfruits Tue 15-Nov-11 23:23:43

I still have my old, one eyed, threadbear teddy and a new one wouldn't be the same!

exoticfruits Tue 15-Nov-11 23:24:11

sorry threadbare!

birdynumnums Tue 15-Nov-11 23:42:03

This thread is making me think of 'dogger' sad

Hope you manage to find another one. I would be doing exactly the same if my 3 year old lost his favourite cuddly toy. He'd be devastated and I would be too as have visions of keeping it untill it's all crusty looking with it's nosed kissed off and showing him to his future girlfriends.

fromtheotherside Tue 15-Nov-11 23:42:50

Have you tried "teddies from heaven" they have a website & can also be found on Facebook.

exoticfruits Tue 15-Nov-11 23:43:54

I thought of 'Dogger'- a lovely story- but I doubt if the 'get over it-get a new toy' would understand it!

My cabbage patch kid was mauled to bits by neighbours children. It's head was decapitated and she was left naked in the mud in their garden. I was 5 years old. It taught me a life long lesson: Don't ever let your Mum, let other children take your toys from your house promising to bring them back. I never got a similar doll again. I got over it within a month and turned out fine.
I still remember that doll and get angry at why Mum let them take it, but I didn't cry for it for 2 years. That's just weird.

HauntedHengshanRoad Wed 16-Nov-11 03:55:08

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

HauntedHengshanRoad Wed 16-Nov-11 03:56:02

And OP? A desperate child isn't one who has lost a toy. A desperate child is one who doesn't have any food to eat, a bed to sleep in, or safety from abuse or attack.

Changing2011 Wed 16-Nov-11 06:33:53

Oh, and there was me thinking this thread would be about children in need or similar! Desperate indeed.

Oh, and my dd has a doggy who is VERY special and would be sorely missed, but jeez, she is still one lucky little girl without him. Op this thread title leaves a bad taste!

DogStinkhorn Wed 16-Nov-11 07:00:10

I think some of you are being really shitty now. OP is just trying to do a good thing.

exoticfruits Wed 16-Nov-11 07:08:14

I can't believe that people are so nasty. Obviously the DC isn't literally desperate, but it would be lovely for OP to track one down.
I would much rather have a kind person try, than say 'get over it you stupid child, you are alive and cared for -what more do you want'!

utterlyslutterly Wed 16-Nov-11 07:08:56

Might be worth contacting this seller for a photo or more info?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Soft-Toy-Stripy-Monkey-/350506690050?pt=UK_Soft_Toys_Bears&hash=item519bd3a602#ht_499wt_1159

antsypants Wed 16-Nov-11 07:09:38

It would be nice to find it, but as the little boys mum has said, he gets upset infrequently when reminded, he isn't sitting in a black veil lamenting the gods for Christ sake.

I was forced to leave a gift my great gran gave me when I was four behind on one of our many moves and 31 years later I still think of it and her, still wish I could come across it some day, and if someone cared enough about me to go to all this trouble to even find something similar it would be amazing.

Good luck with the search, I will, like most other keep my eyes peeled

exoticfruits Wed 16-Nov-11 07:09:40

How can someone trying to find a similar toy for Christmas leave a bad taste? confused It is highly likely that someone has one stuffed in a cupboard that they don't want.

utterlyslutterly Wed 16-Nov-11 07:09:59

try again
"http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Soft-Toy-Stripy-Monkey-/350506690050?pt=UK_Soft_Toys_Bears&hash=item519bd3a602#ht_499wt_1159"

utterlyslutterly Wed 16-Nov-11 07:10:38

sorry - obviously can't do links!

CheeseAndBunion Wed 16-Nov-11 07:13:22

Ok. I've got up this morning and realised this thread has moved in a totally different direction.

Mr Bloom, Haunted and Changing it is my story and I did not post this in am AIBU. I put my teddy hunt in Toys Reunited and Chat hoping I might track one down for Xmas. A very thoughtful mumsnetter who wanted to help started a thread here thinking it might get more traffic and yield results. And she was right. People were very kind, came up with some great ideas and even though I didn't track the monkey down I was touched by how sympathetic total strangers were and all they did to help.

This morning I've found comments about my parenting and my son. Please understand I am just trying to track down a replacement for a lost teddy. I don't want to be judged for that and I certainly don't want my 4 year old son to be called a 'sissy' because of it. I understand he is a lucky boy and there are those in far more need, I just thought tracking down a new 'Stripes' might be a nice thing to do for him and my Dad.

CheerfulYank Wed 16-Nov-11 07:23:09

I really hope you find one, Cheese . I will keep on the lookout and so will my DS. He is also 4 and is quite concerned. smile

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 07:30:53

Cheese - it is a lovely thing to want to do. Ignore the nonempathic ones. And good luck!

exoticfruits Wed 16-Nov-11 07:32:59

Ignore them Cheese-I think it is a lovely (an sensible) idea.

savoycabbage Wed 16-Nov-11 07:40:40

Good luck Cheese. When I emigrated I left my childhood teddy behind at my Mam's house in case the boat sank on the way to Australia...

Byeckerslike Wed 16-Nov-11 07:41:47

Good luck Cheese, i will keep my eyes open, to the peoplewho made harsh comments,why not read the entire thread, the boys mum has said repeatedly its HER looking for it, not her son, he is a typical 4 yr old by all accounts, not in need of counselling for this monkey! grin

Fgs stop being heartless and looking for someone to be nasty to!

ItWasABoojum Wed 16-Nov-11 07:47:54

Good luck Cheese - hope you find one. Even if you don't, your little boy is very lucky that you care so much. Why don't you keep a copy of this thread (blur out the cynical sillies!) to show him when he's older? I'm sure he'll be very touched.

SoupDragon Wed 16-Nov-11 07:52:18

Post the picture on Arts and Crafts and see if anyone can knit you one.

It still won't be the lost toy though.

washngo Wed 16-Nov-11 07:53:42

Was just thinking what a nice friendly thread this was when a few people started being unnecessarily unpleasant. Mrbloomsnursery - if you had read what cheese had said about her ds (ie that he is fine about the missing teddy but would be very happy to see him again) perhaps you wouldn't have felt the need to say that his behaviour was "weird". To be honest I think that's a fairly unacceptable way to describe a child.

Cheese - have you tried posting a 'looking for' advertisement on gumtree.

lisad123 Wed 16-Nov-11 07:54:49

Wow you lot are a bunch of heartless woman on here.
She has said she wants to find a replacement and her son would be fine if she didn't but wants to get one if she can. Can mums not do anything really nice anymore without it being classes as pandering!!
Bet if it was a dh looking for his wife's childhood teddy, wife wouldn't be called a sissy or dh told he was pandering!

Hope you find him cheese wink

lktoday5 Wed 16-Nov-11 08:03:03

cheese ignore the haters who obviously haven't actually read what you wrote. Lovely thing to do ...

CheeseAndBunion Wed 16-Nov-11 08:08:36

Thanks all for making me seem a bit less loopy! I had a well-loved battered teddy myself that I kept for years and on the morning of my wedding day I opened a gift from my Mum to find him inside. After about 15 years of being stuffed in the loft she had got him down and made him a little best man's suit. He was inside this box all dolled up like an usher with a little note saying 'I couldn't miss your big day could I.' It was the silliest, cutest thing and I loved her for thinking of it. I'm not sure our prodigal monkey will ever return but I hope my DS will be equally entertained in years to come by the tale of my batty hunt (and all your help) to track 'Stripes' down.

Cloudbase Wed 16-Nov-11 08:09:35

Cheese - has he got vertical navy blue, light blue, red and green stripes, from the White Company around 2007? If so, I have one! Belonged to my daughter who liked but not loved it. We've had chats in the past about passing on old toys to other children who can love them, and she is quite happy for your son to have Monkey. Do you want to PM me?

Bloodymary Wed 16-Nov-11 08:15:28

Shame on the poster who reffered to a 4 year old child as a 'sissy'.

cfc Wed 16-Nov-11 08:17:48

Yay!! What a result!

PS - don't listen to the nastiness OP and Cheese.

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 08:19:26

Oh Cloudbase!!!! that sounds exactly right, CheeseandBunion contact her immediately!! grin

chocolateyclur Wed 16-Nov-11 08:19:28

Fingers crossed - will be keeping an eye out round charity shops for you

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 08:22:32

Oh pants, now I'm sniffling and eye leaking, I'm so happy that a replacement has potentially been found - cloudbase, did you see the linked pic at the beginning of the thread? Just asking because you were asking what the monkey looked like - there's a photo.

CheeseAndBunion Wed 16-Nov-11 08:24:38

Cloudbase!!!! That sounds just like him. There is a picture on the linked post at the top. Is that the same monkey? I can link the picture again if that helps. If it is him we would love to send you on one of our liked but not adored pristine teddies to say thank you to your DD, she sounds just lovely. We have just put some in a bag that my son knows are great toys that would make other children very happy but he doesn't need them. Dashing off to school but will pm you later of it's the same monkey. Can't believe he might have turned up! Thank you all SO much!

Cloudbase Wed 16-Nov-11 08:32:51

It's The Same!!!!! Yay!

Cheese, he's yours, with my greatest pleasure! PM me when you get the chance and we can sort out getting him to you - wish I could see your littlies face when he sees him! (getting all teary myself now...) smile smile smile

ElmoFan Wed 16-Nov-11 08:41:03

Awww i just love a Happy ending <sniff> smile

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 08:43:05

Oh me too, Elmofan <<double sniffs, wipes eyes>>

YAAAYYYY!!

ElmoFan Wed 16-Nov-11 08:44:23

<Hands Thumb a tissue>

EightiesChick Wed 16-Nov-11 08:44:41

<tearful> This is fantastic! Cheese, please post about the 'reunion' when Monkey arrives.

Selks Wed 16-Nov-11 08:55:06

Ahhh, nice! grin

ItWasABoojum Wed 16-Nov-11 08:56:12

smile smile smile

Dalrymps Wed 16-Nov-11 08:57:17

smilegrinsmilegrin

sillysillymum Wed 16-Nov-11 08:59:03

Yay!!! It's too early for such emotion! Was weepy when I read about you teddy on your wedding day, and now we have a replacement teddy! Hurrah!

WinterIsComing Wed 16-Nov-11 09:02:35

How lovely smile

savoycabbage Wed 16-Nov-11 09:07:47

grin I love it when a plan comes together.

TheScarlettPimpernel Wed 16-Nov-11 09:09:44

Oh NO this is making me remember my Panda sad sad

My granddad bought it when I was born. He died when I was eight.

A year later my sister's 18 month old took a shine to Panda and wanted to take him home. I cried and cried but everyone told me I was being selfish and that of course the toddler sould have Panda and it wasn't fair that I should keep it.

Over the years I kept asking now and then where Panda was. In the end my sister said cheerily "Oh we gave it to the dog as a dog toy and it got so torn up we threw it away" sad sad sad

I am 32 now and I still think about it and well up. I only ever had one granddad - the other died years before I was born - and Panda was my only gift from him, and no-one cared or understood how much he meant to me, just shouted at me that I was being selfish for wanting to keep him

<wanders off in floods of tears>

TheScarlettPimpernel Wed 16-Nov-11 09:10:29

Oh and I missed a page! YAY for Monkey!

I'm now HOWLING. Bloody PMT blush

maxybrown Wed 16-Nov-11 09:16:40

HOORAY!!!!!! grin

some weird posts here though, hmm Ignore it cheese, you have certainly not come across like that at all.

Cheese, had he not turned up I could have posted on the boards for you as I have already paid my subscription!!

Oh I am so pleased, please tell me he will be wrapped up for Christmas Day? And you must let us all know how he reacts. smile (and your Dad!)

Oh scarlett sad

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 09:18:03

Oh ScarlettP, that is so sad. What an unfeeling cow your sister was, so sorry sad.

<<takes tissue from Elmofan, blows nose>>

CheeseandBunions, please please post a pic of the reunion, if you don't mind sharing your DS's face on here - I bet he'll be so thrilled! And your Dad too.

<<bawls>>

bumbleymummy Wed 16-Nov-11 09:18:32

Yay! I love happy endings! smile Hurray for mumsnet!

Robotindisguise Wed 16-Nov-11 09:22:57

Oh how lovely!
Scarlett - how awful sad

I still feel sad when I think of poor old Sally, nicked within minutes when I left her at a campsite in France. Still, I don't suppose she speaks a word of English these days.

TheScarlettPimpernel Wed 16-Nov-11 09:32:52

It is awful isn't it?

All these years my sister/parents have been so dismissive and I now I feel validated! (mine was a large and distinctly uncuddly family grin )

I demand pictures of Monkey being reunited with his best friend. Only this can soothe my painz.

bumbleymummy Wed 16-Nov-11 09:38:19

So sad Scarlett sad my cousin gave my beloved teddy to his dog when we were visiting. He laughed while the dog savaged it and I screamed my head off! Luckily we were able to rescue him and patch him up and I still have him.

EightiesChick Wed 16-Nov-11 09:39:09

Scarlett Your family have been really mean to you over this. Enjoy the thought of another child getting their toy back.

dearprudence Wed 16-Nov-11 09:40:30

I'm so pleased. grin I would also love an update.

And unlike some others, I did read the thread and I know that the thread title and OP were not from the mother whose child lost the monkey, but from a kindly friend. So criticising the mother's parenting or child on the basis of this is way out of order.

joannita Wed 16-Nov-11 09:41:01

Great! So glad Cloudbase came up trumps! Nice to see a happy ending! XXX

TheScarlettPimpernel Wed 16-Nov-11 09:42:07

I'm glad yours got rescued bumbley - bloody dogs! (I love 'em, but they have no sense of propriety)

Eighties sometimes it's a complete misnomer that the youngest child is spoilt - I was the youngest of 5 and loved and cared for etc. but mostly just a bit of a nuisance, with everything else going on: I can't really remember being cossetted or played with. I have never seen a photo of myself as a baby, and only one or two of me as a small child...

Not bitter or anything apart from all the bitterness

FannyFifer Wed 16-Nov-11 09:44:42

A happy ending, yay! grin

chocolateyclur Wed 16-Nov-11 09:45:20

Yaaaaaaaay!

Scarlett - how awful sad I can't understand people who don't comprehend the importance of a favourite toy.

CheeseAndBunion Wed 16-Nov-11 09:45:50

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I couldn't wait to get home to check this thread so I am now sat on a freezing bench near school sobbing. I cannot believe we have found one! Cloudbase, you are so kind to do this for us. I promise we will find a way to show your daughter how grateful we all are. She deserves to know what a lovely thing she is doing and something special will wing it's way in the post to her soon. You have all been so kind and the way everyone took my silly plight on board has really touched my heart. Crispface, we would not have found him without you starting this thread and the fact you did this for a totally unknown CheeseandBunion is amazing. You deserve a big bunch of mumsnet thanks.

I will update after the Xmas day reunion I promise. He will be the star of the day I know. I'm planning to tell him that Father Christmas brought him back home just like he did with 'Stick Man' (his favourite book), but one day I will show him this thread so he knows the incredible kindness you can find from total strangers. I know not everyone on here understood why I wanted to do this but genuinely it was never about 'needing' this monkey but rather about 'wanting' to do something that would make 2 people I love very much incredibly happy.

Cloudbase, I will pm you properly as soon as I get home after lunch. Hope that's ok.

HOORAY AND THANK YOU EVERYONE SO VERY, VERY MUCH! x

Loonytoonie Wed 16-Nov-11 09:47:36

Great thread. Well done OP and fantastic result for you and your little boy cheese.

Ignore the sour grapers, and for shame on them.

TheScarlettPimpernel Wed 16-Nov-11 09:47:43

OH THIS IS SO LOVELY

<completely breaks down>

Loonytoonie Wed 16-Nov-11 09:49:48

Right. Now you've got me started with your last post, cheese

<shiny eyes>

Beautifully written by the way.

OTheHugeMjanatee Wed 16-Nov-11 09:54:06

Awwwww, I'm all weepy now.

Hooray for cloudbase and the Prodigal Monkey! smile

Highlander Wed 16-Nov-11 09:56:58

MN just blows me away sometimes. yay for stripey bear!grin

YaMaYaMa Wed 16-Nov-11 09:57:59

Bloody pregnancy hormones, I've just sobbed for 5 minutes. How lovely smile

soupforthesoul Wed 16-Nov-11 09:58:24

I am in complete floods of tears.

thanks cloudbase and cheese.

ZacharyQuack Wed 16-Nov-11 09:59:02

Yay! grin I'm ridiculously pleased about a boy and a monkey.

picklepepper Wed 16-Nov-11 10:13:16

I'm SO so pleased that a new Stripes has been found - I've read the whole thread avidly this morning hoping for a happy ending, and shed many a tear on the way (it was the story of your wedding day that set me off Cheese). It's made my day that lovely people can pull together and make a Grandad and Grandson's Christmas. Well Done Mumsnet!!

Oh yay! Awesome thread, so glad Monkey has been 'found' hurrah for crispface, cheeseandbunion and cloudbase!

LadyBeckenham Wed 16-Nov-11 10:23:19

Haunted - I feel sorry for your children because you sound like my mum sad

pissedrightoff Wed 16-Nov-11 10:30:39

Oh happy days. Shedding a few tears here. I will be thinking of the wee boy on Christmas morning and hoping for photos.

Well done Cloudbase.

LaFilleSurLePont Wed 16-Nov-11 10:32:46

What a wonderful story. Ignore the grumps. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you did,or with having attachments to sentimental toys/objects. I'm thrilled that you found one,thanks to Cloud and Crisp.grin

mrsmilesaway Wed 16-Nov-11 10:37:13

Crying lots here.

WhoremoaneeGrainger Wed 16-Nov-11 10:43:16

Thats me off sobbing too. What a fab place this can be. Well done all.

VajazzleMyFoof Wed 16-Nov-11 10:48:32

What a lovely ending and what a magical Christmas your son will have to be reunited with his lost Monkey.

Ignore the grumpy sods who have no Christmas spirit.

Byeckerslike Wed 16-Nov-11 10:52:24

Fantastic news! Cant wait for the post christmas update! grin

inceywinceyspiderfinder Wed 16-Nov-11 10:53:15

I've got something in my eye too.

VajazzleMyFoof Wed 16-Nov-11 10:53:45

Ooh and let us know Grandads reaction too.

Lovethesea Wed 16-Nov-11 10:59:08

That's made my morning grin

As Cheese has said she we one day show this thread to her son I will refrain from saying what I'd like to about HenghsanRoad hmm

How very lovely to hear there's going to be a happy ending, - good on you all, I'm sure it will make his Christmas, and his Grandad's. smile

Sleepyspaniel Wed 16-Nov-11 11:35:05

What a lovely story. Well done Cloud and Crisp. It may be a boy and a knitted monkey but as we can see from lots of the posts here these are the things that childhoods are made of and we pretty much all remember how we felt when we were little.

Cheese you sound like an absolutely LOVELY mum and your DS is so lucky to have you care like you do. I'm not sure why anyone would post anything negative hmm and can only conclude you are putting them to shame or they are jealous that some parents are so good at the detail.

Your parents sound lovely too, it obviously runs in the family smile Usher teddy bear... that's just fabulous!

crispface Wed 16-Nov-11 11:55:43

A replacement has been found?! shock

HOOORAYYYYY!!!!!

<I am also sat here sobbing>

I am sooo ridiculously pleased for you grin

And to all the miseryguts' out there - Of course the boy is not "desperate" but if I started a thread entitled "help me find this monkey" no-one would have looked at it would they?! wink

Cheese, you sound like a wonderful mum, and I hope your little boy grows up to have just as much kindness and empathy as you.

This is a lovely thread (apart from the few who made nasty comments - who should be ashamed of themselves), and I have a tear in my eye now, thinking of a little boy's happiness on Christmas morning.

Scarlett - my heart goes out to you, and I know how you feel. My dh threw out what he said was a bag of rubbish from the loft, that turned out to be a bagful of soft toys, including my childhood teddy, that I'd had since birth, that my dad chose for me. As soon as we realised what had happened (within an hour or so, I think) we rushed down to the tip, but the big skip had already gone to the landfill site, and Teddy was gone forever. Even though I was an adult, I cried on and off for weeks about that, and it still gives me a pang to think about it - so I can well imagine how much greater your heartbreak must have been, as an 8 year old forced to give up a much loved toy. And the fact that your sister knew how much it meant to you, and still gave it to their dog when the child didn't want it any more - she could have given it back to you at that point instead - heartless woman.

lktoday5 Wed 16-Nov-11 12:26:23

Another sobbing wreck here. Sometimes the world works in great ways smilegrinsmile

izzybizzybuzzybees Wed 16-Nov-11 12:28:16

Aaw that's fabulous!

Well done cloudbase!

piratecat Wed 16-Nov-11 12:36:46

brilliant!!!

crispface, well done you, and cloud person well done you.

i'm amazed. lovely.

fluffyanimal Wed 16-Nov-11 12:39:23

Wow, this is as good as Miguel Tuna! Fantastic the power of MN. Yes, we must have pictures of the reunion.

pud1 Wed 16-Nov-11 13:18:31

So pleased there is a happy ending. Am also happy that I went to bed before it got nasty and checked for the happy ending. We want a video of Xmas morning please

washngo Wed 16-Nov-11 13:31:58

Yay! Well done cloudbase! What a lovely thread and a happy ending! Ps the wedding teddy story was just about the sweetest thing I've heard.

Cloudbase Wed 16-Nov-11 13:36:37

Cheese, I'll PM you again, but just in case, I've uploaded a pic of the Main Monkey himself on my profile, just so you can rest assured it's really him!

He is busy packing his case as I type, and is looking forward to coming home! smile

I've just taken a look at the two pictures....

So Excited!! He looks great grin

exoticfruits Wed 16-Nov-11 13:50:04

So pleased it turned out well and you lost the moaning minnies. grin

flamingtoaster Wed 16-Nov-11 13:50:06

What a lovely happy ending. <sniff>

SusanneLinder Wed 16-Nov-11 13:51:27

Aaaw this is a lovely ending!

Some people on this thread are completely heartless. I can be a cold -hearted bitch of highest order, but my ex DH threw out my childhood teddy and panda, and I am still upset about it.

I can still smell my teddy sad

CheeseAndBunion Wed 16-Nov-11 13:59:50

That's him!! No doubt about it. I'd recognise those stripes anywhere. He will of course now be grounded till he's 21 and not allowed to leave the house in case he goes AWOL again. Thank you so much Cloudbase, and to all of you for your brilliant messages. It's been a fabulous weepy Wednesday.

DDraigoch33 Wed 16-Nov-11 13:59:50

http://maribelmade.com/index.php/tag/monkey/ Is this web site any good??If not best of luck with your search x

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 14:03:24

Awww cloudbase!! you need lots of thanksthanksthanks for being such a Top MNer! Well done to crispy for starting the thread too thanks

<<can't believe eyes are welling up again, what a sap![watery grin]>>

WinterIsComing Wed 16-Nov-11 14:04:43

Is he really going to be a Christmas present? That isn't right. He would surely need to have his beloved and much-missed best friend back asap. Not that I can't contain myself you understand... wink

Thumbwitch Wed 16-Nov-11 14:07:48

ah Winter - you're missing the point that C&B's Dad will also be there at Christmas to witness the reunion grin so settle down and hold yourself in, it'll come soon enough! wink

I think I'd be like Winter - I'd want to hand the monkey over as soon as he arrived [no good with delayed gratification emoticon]blush

WinterIsComing Wed 16-Nov-11 14:20:48

SDT and I are obviously channelling the child from the John Lewis ad.

<puts on DD's wizard costume and points wand at clock>

RubyLovesMayMay Wed 16-Nov-11 14:21:48

Alls well that ends well.

Has anyone seen the film "The Pursuit of Happyness" where the Dad and son are running for the bus and the son drops his toy and he's crying his eyes out watching the toy on the ground as they drive away on the bus? sad

This thread reminded me of that

I did shed a little tear reading this thread slyly at work I wont lie

I swear this pregnancy has made me as soft as shit

minouminou Wed 16-Nov-11 14:25:38

I was astounded by the callous, nitpicking miserable posters on here! So glad this has a happy ending.
I can't wait for pics, either!

Byeckerslike Wed 16-Nov-11 14:31:43

'packing his case as i type, and is looking forward to coming home'

<gulp>

lockets Wed 16-Nov-11 14:42:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inceywinceyspiderfinder Wed 16-Nov-11 14:42:32

This needs to go in Classics.

Shame about the needless bitchy comments hmm

But hurrah for cloudbase!

WinterIsComing Wed 16-Nov-11 14:48:58

Wonderful isn't it? I am refusing the read the thread from last night.

I have a panda toy which was bought for me when I was adopted in the early seventies at the age of three months. The poor thing has had to "bear" grin my beginners sewing and repair jobs (think mad-surgeon from horror films) and DD's smearing him with lipstick but he is the ONE thing that I have from childhood which has always stayed with me in forty years.

My DD has always been a bit resentful of tatty old panda occupying space on top of her wardrobe but this Christmas she has enlisted the help of my sister to buy him an entire new outfit from Build a Bear. For me. That's really sweet I think.

Lockets - you need hope no longer - cloudbase, a wonderful mumsnetter, has one of these monkeys that her little one doesn't play with, and he is going to be on his way to the OP very, very soon. smile

Winter - I have never had to mend any of either my or the dses childhood bears, but I have repaired two of the dog's cuddly toys. She likes to take out their kapok, and - well, I can't go into any details here, for fear of traumatising the mumsnetters and their cuddly friends who are reading this thread - but suffice it to say, some very serious repairs have been neccessary, and lets just say I will never have a career as a plastic surgeon. Frankensheep and Frankenpuppy are still much loved, but the nicknames tell you a lot about their appearance. blushgrin

Haberdashery Wed 16-Nov-11 17:37:43

This is a wonderful story. So happy for your little boy - how lovely! His face will be a picture. I lost my childhood bear when I was four and I cried about it regularly for years afterwards. I still feel a little teary about him, actually. So glad your story has a happy ending.

Yay!!!! smile smile
<Now blubbing my eyes out> !!

MrsVoltar Wed 16-Nov-11 17:52:59

Yay!! Just catching up with this thread, some heartless comments but otherwise fab!

Have had a crappy day & this has cheered me up grin

JamieComeHome Wed 16-Nov-11 18:25:45

good news.

CheerfulYank Wed 16-Nov-11 18:49:40

It's awfully <sniff> dusty around here, I <gulp> got something in me eye.

<choked sob>

I'm so, so happy for everyone. Well done you Cloudbase .

RomanKindle Wed 16-Nov-11 19:09:01

I would save it for Christmas. Santa bringing it like in Stick Man is too sweet! Unless he gets upset before then then maybe I suppose he could bring it early?

maxybrown Wed 16-Nov-11 19:16:09

oh, miguel Tuna, That's it! Been trying to think about a previous thread, I loved that thread - is it in classics?

CamperFan Wed 16-Nov-11 19:24:20

Hurrah for MN!

Gapants Wed 16-Nov-11 19:31:54

That is so wonderful, well done cloudbase, you are a lovely person with a very lovely daughter.

MitziKinsky Wed 16-Nov-11 19:37:44

CheeseAndBunion, What a lovely mum you have! smile

The post on Wed 16-Nov-11 03:55:0 is probably one of the nastiest things I have read on MN. I will presume the poster has a very difficult life.

What a lovely ending to the thread, though. Would be cool to video the child's reaction when monkey returns. grin

sparrowfart Wed 16-Nov-11 19:44:57

I also have that monkey *I think* and am willing to pass him on if need be to make a wee boy happy. Is he called 'stripy monkey' from WC Spring 2008? I am sure mine is the same. Like CB, PM if you want to get in touch about Mr Monkey. Hope you get one!

sparrowfart Wed 16-Nov-11 21:05:34

Sorry I was abit late there, I got carried away when I realised I had one. Glad you have one, hope your little boy has a wonderful surprise!

auntiepicklebottom2 Wed 16-Nov-11 21:34:42

i love a happy ending Cloudbase you are a star thanks

Hope this 4 year old has a fantastic christmas grin

Thumbwitch Thu 17-Nov-11 07:31:14

I'm pretty sure Hengshanroad lives in China - and probably has seen deprivation the likes of which we never will - but that doesn't excuse the unpleasantness to C&B's son sad

MissMap Thu 17-Nov-11 16:08:12

What a lovely thread. This is reminiscent of the Shirley Hughes story "Dogger". I always had tears in my eyes when I read it to my DC and my DN.

It is moving that it struck a chord with so many of us.

exoticfruits Thu 17-Nov-11 16:12:42

It turned out well in the end MissMap-there were some miserable people at the start who wouldn't have understood 'Dogger' at all. They said words to the effect of 'I wouldn't have it-tell them to get over it'! Or a total lack of understanding as in 'buy a new toy-why are they moaning'!

StealthPenguin Thu 17-Nov-11 18:37:12

I vote this goes into "Classics".

Incidentally, how does one get there?

mamamoonmim Thu 17-Nov-11 18:45:52

I don't agree with kids getting emotionally attached to objects

exoticfruits Thu 17-Nov-11 19:01:15

Glad you are not my mother then!

exoticfruits Thu 17-Nov-11 19:02:43

Some parents are weird and have to have control. Why shouldn't a DC be free to get attached to something? DS was attached to his blanket-it had a personality and he did grow out of it!! It didn't stop him being attached to people!

MissBetsyTrotwood Thu 17-Nov-11 19:03:11

Yes, this is a 'Bella did a very kind thing' moment. 'Dogger' always made me get teary, even as a child.

Lovely thread.

exoticfruits Thu 17-Nov-11 19:12:48

I think it is very sad if a DC doesn't get attached to a toy. I don't know many who would think 'any teddy will do'.

Sleepyspaniel Thu 17-Nov-11 19:19:06

Mamamoomin, why don't you agree with kids getting emotionally attached to objects?

mamamoonmim Thu 17-Nov-11 19:19:32

I just think it's weird when people try to encourage you to give your baby a 'special blanky' that they will rely on to feel comfortable.
My kids have never gotten emotionally attached to any piece of fabric, they had me to lay with them in bed and such.

It's just a bit alien to me.

mamamoonmim Thu 17-Nov-11 19:23:54

I recall learning in psychology of experiments where chimps became emotionally attached to stuffed objects, were their mother was absent. Seems a bit heart breaking.

CheerfulYank Thu 17-Nov-11 19:24:58

I've never read Dogger! Looks like a winner though.

travellingwilbury Thu 17-Nov-11 19:25:10

mama , my first son wasn't too fussed about such things , however my second child has a favourite bear and he would not be happy if it went walkabout ,my third however tends to use any teddy that happens to be nearby .

Children are different ,some care about such things and others don't . But for the ones that do care about small cuddly things it is lovely that the grown ups around them give a shit too .

maxybrown Thu 17-Nov-11 19:26:03

You know, my DS is not really attached to anything. He has a special bear, he knows mummy and daddy bought it for him as his first bear and a special monkey we rescued from a charity shop. he never ever asks for them, BUT they always end up in his bed, he never ever takes them out or would think to do so, yet they always end up on holiday with us! And if you saw them, they have the look of being dragged everywhere but they haven't! But it's prob a bit different in our house as our bears are real grin and they were rescued from shops so that they didn't become slaves - so you see, we are all truly mad anyway grin <<denys having 3 bin bags FULL of soft toys in my parents loft>>.......<<and 2 in ours>>

4madboys Thu 17-Nov-11 19:29:21

my elder 2 boys never had comfort objects other than my breasts! but ds3 has a toy dog called frisbee that he loves and ds4 has his 'diddies' which are cellular blankets, he had three to begin with but two are his faves, a blue one that it a raggedy holey mess and alittle cream one that is also getting a bit tatty, he LOVES them, sucks his thumb, wraps himself up and twiddles with them, they are very special to him and he has them everynight in bed, he used to take them out with him but doesnt very often now (he is 3yrs old) we didnt 'make' him like them, just used them in bed at night and he just grew attached to them, they make him happy so they make me happy.

dd who is 11mths has 3 comforters, but only uses one at a time, they are all the same, a bit like taggies but made by a friend out of one of my old flannelette sheets, i got her to make three so we had spares, again she sleeps with them and has one that she can take out with her.

i think there is actually research to show that it is good for a child to have 'transitional' comfort object, esp if they have to spend time away or to help them settle to sleep. dd is in our bed, but still has her comforter smile

did they find a monkey btw? havent read the whole thread!

4madboys Thu 17-Nov-11 19:29:51

and dogger is a fabulous story, my boys love it and i had it read to me as a child! grin

spiderpig8 Thu 17-Nov-11 19:30:55

I am with them I'm afraid.Maybe I'll come across as a hard old cow but I'm a bit hmm about a 4 yo desperate and still crying over a toy he lost 2 yrs ago as a 2 YO. I very much doubt he actually remembers it much.I suspect this is 'professional' grief kept going by his mother.

LadyFlumpalot Thu 17-Nov-11 19:40:04

MissMap! Dogger! I MUST go and read that again!

I am actually crying....

Now if someone could just find my GummiBear that I lost in Heelas in Reading when I was 5? Please?

Yay for happy endings!

4madboys Thu 17-Nov-11 19:50:27

just read back, YAY they have found one!!

i must be a sucker cos i love a happy ending and i have just ended up getting a bear sent over from america for my 3yr old for xmas, he is DESPERATE for a particular lotso bear that it out of stock in all the disney shops in the uk, got one from amazon but it was the wrong one so had to send it back, they are going for silly prices on ebay, so i got an aunt in america to buy one, she is picking it up tomorrow and posting it over to me!! i now know i will have one VERY happy little boy on xmas day grin

jennifersofia Thu 17-Nov-11 19:58:06

I think whether or not a child becomes attached to a toy purely depends on the personality of the child. I have 2 dc who would be happy with a changing assortment of soft toys, and 1 dc who took to her bunny from a very young age, to the point that she said to me the other day, very seriously (she is 9), that when she died, she would like to be buried with her arms crossed with her bunny on her chest. (weep emoticon!) To her, her bunny is a very very real friend and important character in her life. If it gives comfort, why not?

DogStinkhorn Thu 17-Nov-11 20:03:50

Spiderpig, yet again you post a really offensive and insensitive comment. What a fucking surprise.

SarahStratton Thu 17-Nov-11 20:14:12

Ahh spiderpig, I still remember my pink cat I lost when I was 3. Maybe you never had a treasured toy.

worzelswife Thu 17-Nov-11 20:22:52

Very pleased there will be a reunion. I wish I could be a fly on your wall on Christmas day!
I lost a much treasured teddy given to me the day I was born aged about 5 or 6. Cried my eyes out for years whenever I thought about it. I can remember the heartache, so I'm glad this time there's a happy ending.

exoticfruits Thu 17-Nov-11 21:32:08

I find it laughable that people think that adults can 'make' a DC be attached to a piece of fabric or toy. They are individuals and they make the choice themselves. Some are and some are not. It isn't a mother substitute. I think that it generally denotes an imaginative, caring DC-one who isn't going to just drop the old for the new.
I think that anyone who can't understand that must be lacking in imagination or empathy or just think throwing money at it and buying new solves things.

CheeseAndBunion Thu 17-Nov-11 23:08:53

I've just come back on to this thread and I can't believe the number of posts. Such kind messages and great stories. Thank you all, you've said some lovely things and I can't believe how many people have got caught up in my monkey mission. 'Stripes' is indeed going to make his reappearance on Xmas day, wrapped and addressed to my son and Dad, in a stocking all of hos own, hidden slightly up the chimney with 'Special Delivery' written on. I'll post all the soppy details after the reunion. Sparrow, thank you so much for your kind offer too.

I know not everyone will understand why I did this but to me it's less about the amount of grief my DS experienced losing the teddy and far more about the level of happiness finding him will bring. Thank you all for making that happen.

birdynumnums Fri 18-Nov-11 01:16:26

This is such a lovely story. Can't wait for the Christmas update. The way you are giving him 'Stripes' back sounds magical and I'm sure your son will always remember it.

I totally get why you did this. My son became attached to a teddy aged 4 months. It was meant to be a decorative item on his shelf. By 6 months, he would not sleep unless we put it in his cot. He is 3.4 now and I know he would remember it had he lost it aged 2.

spiderpig8 Fri 18-Nov-11 09:59:50

I was a liitle sad that none of my DCs had a blanky or special toy they couldn't be parted from.It is so cute.But my child psychiatrist friend has told me it's a sign of a well-adjusted child!!

kitbit Fri 18-Nov-11 10:20:46

<howls>

hardboiledpossum Fri 18-Nov-11 11:14:30

spiderpig I think it's actually the opposite, being attached to a toy IS the sign of a well adjusted child. At least that is what I remember from my Psychology degree.
Anyway I'm very pleased that Stripy has been found.

spiderpig8 Fri 18-Nov-11 11:17:18

Ah right well I'm seeing her tonight I'll tell this consultant of C&A psychiatry she has been put straight by a MNer! I'm sure she will be grateful for your insight smile

exoticfruits Fri 18-Nov-11 16:01:29

I am convinced that it is a sign of a well adjusted DC in that they get the choice and the parents let them do it without trying to influence either way. One of mine had a blanket, one didn't have anything and one had his thumb and I would say that they are equally well adjusted.

WinterIsComing Fri 18-Nov-11 16:10:21

The fact that DS didn't get attached to a particular toy at an early age was one of the signs of his autism. Not that that's anything to do with being well-adjusted. And autistic children often have a place for "objects" in their minds where concern for people might be in an NT child. So it's very difficult to generalise about these issues.

Wish I was going out tonight spiderpig - have a nice evening smile

Loonytoonie Fri 18-Nov-11 20:01:36

The beauty of printing things off for the future cheese is that you can lop of certain posts that (try to) put a downer on this beautiful thread grin. Chop chop, bin bin.

ihatecbeebies Fri 18-Nov-11 20:07:04

winteriscoming my son didn't get attached to a certain toy when he was a tot, he's almost 5 now and has never been attached to a particular toy, he's never had a favourite, he's also hfa/as, I didn't think about it being related to autism though until I read your post.

Fraidylady Fri 18-Nov-11 20:29:35

I have a problem with this OP.

I think a child being in a 'desperate' state because he's lost a toy is a bit of an exaggeration. 'Sad child', maybe, but 'desperate'? A child who's mother has died is probably 'desperate'. A child who's lost a soft toy is 'upset' (and will probably get over it fairly soon).

sparrowfart Fri 18-Nov-11 20:57:52

It's all about context, isn't it. Words have shades of meaning depending on their context, and in this case the child is desperately missing his monkey. In this sentence it means something totally different to a sentence relating to a neglected/bereaved/starving child but the meaning is accurate all the same. It's all part of our wonderfully rich and versatile language...

LynetteScavo Fri 18-Nov-11 21:14:06

I ahd a blanket I lost when I was about 8. I cried myself to sleep for what now seemed like months, but maybe it was weeks. It went missing when I was on a sleepover, and I'm pretty sure the other mum hid it because she disproved. I would go around every day and ask if they had found it, and my mum would sometimes take me in my nightie when I couldn't sleep to ask if it might have bee found it. It eventually turned up though, and I once again slept well.

God I loved that blanket (The remaining threads are still in my bedside table drawer, but they no longer provide the same comfort grin). Some people just don't realise how attached children can be to special objects, and how much comfort they provide.

Fraidylady Fri 18-Nov-11 22:10:01

But we'd try to support a child after a bereavement, as in losing a parent. Why then, can't a parent support a child through the loss of a cuddly toy in much the same way, with a similar message that the toy isn't going to come back?

StealthPenguin Fri 18-Nov-11 22:13:30

Some of you lot need replacement hearts. Pronto.

This is the loveliest thread I've read on Mumsnet in a while. Not everything has to be a bloody bunfight y'know.

Whorulestheroost Fri 18-Nov-11 22:17:10

Quite agree stealth its always the same on aibu. People just can't help but bitch even on a lovely thread like this sad

cocoachannel Fri 18-Nov-11 23:34:19

Fantastic thread! Can't wait to hear all about the reunion.

Bah humbug to all the negative posters! You all need to get some idea of the nuances of language. It's a similar thing to when somebody says, 'I've had the worst day, my husband's cheating and the roof fell in.' 99% of MN give advice and support but along come a few who start with the 'how can it be the WORST day? You've at least got a roof albeit on the kitchen floor. YABU for moaning when other people don't have a roof or husbands attractive enough to pull someone else.'

Anyway- hooray for such a lovely story!

DogStinkhorn Fri 18-Nov-11 23:45:24

Ignore the haters, op, you did a lovely thing.

Moodykat Sat 19-Nov-11 00:10:42

What a bloody lovely story! And very funny about the roof on the kitchen floor!
Hurray for the happy mumsnetters!

hardboiledpossum Sat 19-Nov-11 10:13:50

spiderpig maybe you remembered wrong? Or she did? Being a consultant I imagine that she will have studied this stuff a long time ago. I've recently left uni. My friend is a psychiatrist and from what she told me they don't spend much time studying things like attachment, there focus is obviously much more medical and a child with attachment issues is unlikely to be referred to a psychiatrist, more likely and clinical psychologist or a psychotherapist.

I don't think not being attached to a toy is a bad thing either, or a sign of anything wrong. I remember the lecture so well as I called up my parents after to ask if I had a special blanket or soft toy when I was younger and apparently I did not.

fluffyanimal Tue 03-Jan-12 09:01:57

Is there an update on this anywhere? i want to see the pictures!

TinsellyTinsellyMum Tue 03-Jan-12 09:10:04

Me too! Heard there was an update but couldn't find it

WhereMyMilk Tue 03-Jan-12 09:11:57

There was a lovely heartwarming ending thread ( can't find it at mo)
Lovely MNetter sent one, and Santa delivered it Xmas afternoon much to son's and grandfather delightsmile

fluffyanimal Wed 04-Jan-12 09:24:41

I found the update! Here it is, for anyone who hasn't found it yet. It made it into Classics, yay! Warning - have your tissues ready!

Monkey reunion

Sulieman Sat 28-Jul-12 05:37:59

Did I see someone else had the same Monkey?

I've a little girl who loves hers and its falling apart. I'm wondering if I can secure a backup for the inevitable loss?

bejeezus Sat 28-Jul-12 06:10:23

I'm sorry, I must be heartless/ a hater/ autistic or any of the other insults levelled at the people who don't 'get' this level of attachment to a soft toy; just get her to start varying her comfort toy now....why would you want to encourage her attachment to one toy, and set het up for the inevitable

<bloody ridiculous fuss over a stuffed toy mutter mutter>

IWishIWasSheRa Sat 28-Jul-12 06:43:22

I have this monkey!!! It is in the loft and we are going on holiday in an hour but pm me your address and I'll post it on my return!! X

IWishIWasSheRa Sat 28-Jul-12 06:43:28

I have this monkey!!! It is in the loft and we are going on holiday in an hour but pm me your address and I'll post it on my return!! X

ParsleyTheLioness Sat 28-Jul-12 13:57:25

Mmn, this was a lovely thread, but was effectively finished a long time ago, with a great ending. Why revive it now Bejeezus hmm

bejeezus Sat 28-Jul-12 14:04:40

i didn't revive it....

ParsleyTheLioness Sat 28-Jul-12 15:22:54

Sorry, no you didn't. Twas the poster before My bad.Bejeezus

I've never seen 'Autistic' used as an insult in that way, tbh hmm.

It wouldn't even be a reason not to have attachment confused.

Triggles Sat 28-Jul-12 18:17:49

<<<I must be heartless/ a hater/ autistic or any of the other insults levelled at the people who don't 'get' this level of attachment to a soft toy>>>

Yes, I would rather not see "autistic" termed as "an insult." Not necessary at all.

justaboutiswarm Sat 28-Jul-12 18:28:57

Agreed. "Autistic" is not an insult.

FutTheShuckUp Sat 28-Jul-12 18:32:35

I agree Bejeezus- I find it odd a child would cry about it two years later and also the childs grandfather would be upset about it! Id just encourage my child to move on tbh

mcmooncup Sat 28-Jul-12 18:33:23

Desperate???? 2 years for a toy???
So dangerous to teach children to dwell on 'bad events'. Should be helping and empathising the child to get over it in a healthy way. Bad lessons being taught here.

RinkyDinkyDoo Sat 28-Jul-12 18:33:44

Bejeezus you're just fucking rude and ignorant for the autistic comment

mcmooncup Sat 28-Jul-12 18:33:59

oh, old thread
care even less now

FallenCaryatid Sat 28-Jul-12 18:54:23

Zombie thread with a happy ending, and a happy second ending for Sulieman.
bejeezus, your comment contains ignorant twattery of the highest quality.
Autistic as a PA insult?
If you knew anything about the autistic spectrum, you would realise that more than most, many with HFA understand the importance of attachment to a significant object better than many NTs.

bejeezus Sat 28-Jul-12 19:06:33

In the same way I didn't ressurect the thread, I am not the one who suggested people who don't make attachments to innanimate objects are autistic confused

apology accepted!

justaboutiswarm Sat 28-Jul-12 21:10:41

I've not noticed anyone apologising to you yet, bejeezus. I certainly read the whole thread to make sure I understood the context of your comment before I wrote my remark.

Autistic is not an insult.

bejeezus Sat 28-Jul-12 21:48:58

I totally agree. Autistic is not an insult.

It was meant as an insult, the way it was written in this thread IMO

Why bring autism in to the conversation at all? it is not non-NT to not form extreme attachments to soft toys

justaboutiswarm Sat 28-Jul-12 22:13:12

In that case I do apologise, it sounded as if you were using it differently.

bejeezus Sat 28-Jul-12 22:35:23

Thanks justgiven

I was being facetious in response to what other posters had said; there was a bit of a debate about whether you were autistic if you did get overly attached to teddy, or if you didnt get attached to your toys.....it seemed most popular that autistic children didn't love their teddies hmm

My dd has ADHD, so maybe oversensitive to stupid talk about NT/NNT. As are a few others on here it seems wink

bejeezus Sat 28-Jul-12 22:36:36

justabout not 'justgiven'

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