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In feeling sick and shaky all day after a driving lesson?

(67 Posts)

I can't help it, it's getting worse and I am only on lesson 4!

I have always wanted to learn to drive, but couldn't really afford it. This year, we now have the finances to squeeze a lesson a week. DH drives, but since my employer relocated last year, I have found getting into work a nightmare. (3 hours by bus there and 3 hours back)

I felt super excited and confident before I started. I bought the DSA theory books, CD-Roms, Highway code etc but I seem so shite behind the wheel, I spend the whole day after it analysing the lesson and feeling sick. DH just rolls his eyes and tells me to relax, but this is so far, the hardest thing I have ever done! I cannot see myself ever being able to master gears, steering properly and not stalling. My Instructor (thankfully) has me on a quiet 'practice' road that is pretty easy to drive around, but I am filled with terror at the thought of ever being on the open road.

AIBU and stupid and need to get a grip, or did anyone else feel like this? Next lesson is Monday, and I am dreading it already!

Rocklover Sat 26-Jun-10 23:02:28

That should be "having never got anywhere near test standard before that"

Ooh crikey.... I passed my test 14 years ago, started driving 15 years ago and you know what? I can STILL remember that feeling that I was never going to co-ordinate changing gear, steering, whatever. I just couldn't do it.

But you know what? It did click. I now can't really explain all the individual elements of what I'm doing it just comes naturally and it will with you, OP, with the right instructor.

Lots of luck!

ShowOfHands Sun 27-Jun-10 07:34:54
bathbuns Sun 27-Jun-10 11:18:49

Wow, this sounds so stressful for you. For god's sake just learn to drive an automatic. Seriously, it's not worth the stress if it's upsetting you this much. I hated learning to drive, it was so stressful. It only clicked in the week before I did my test. Once it clicks, you're fine, but why on earth put yourself through such grief when you could learn on an automatic much quicker and be driving independently much sooner. I've driven both and my next car will definitely be an automatic. So much easier, even if they don't have quite the same power. It's more relaxing, no pumping away with your feet all the time, too.

Really hope if you do stick with the manual it gets easier soon.

muminthemiddle Sun 27-Jun-10 12:13:27

Hi
Haven't read all the thread but just wanted to offer you my suppoert.

I too used to feel sick before my driving lessons(and sick on my test too!)
Don't worry it is perfectly normal just try to concentrate(easier said than done) and remember it is one small part of your week so try and arrange something nice for afterwards, even if just a glass of brandy and a soak in the bath!

lovechoc Sun 27-Jun-10 12:28:28

once I'd mastered the basics of operating the car, I then had a relative supervise in the passenger seat whilst I drove around. I don't think one lesson a week is really enough IMHO. You need to get out there as much as you can to get a feel for the driving, and not make a big deal out of it. You're thinking about it too much, because it's only one lesson each week. If you were out on the road on a more regular basis you wouldn't be so anxious. Honestly, I know I've been there!lol

Good luck OP - it's one of the best things you'll ever do.

lecce Sun 27-Jun-10 19:52:56

I was exactly like this and it took me 8 tests and 2 years to pass. It has been so worth it, I really enjoy driving now and don't find it stressful at all so you can overcome this.

I agree with those who have said one hour a week isn't enough. I learnt to drive aged 29 and passed at 31 but when I was 17 I had a lesson a week for about 6 months and made absolutely no progress, seriously it was embarrassing.

When I started again I did an intensive course, I can't remember the exact details but it was something like 3 hours a day for 10 days and then a test. It is expensive because you hace to pay a lump sum and finding the time is also an issue but for me it made all the difference. I didn't pass the test (obviously, see above!) but I had broken that barrier of not seeing myself as a driver. It gave me the confidence to go out with dh in a 'normal' car which I would never have done before.

My last 5 tests I failed just because of the fucking parallel parking angry and picked up only 3/4 minors, it was so infuriating!

I can't beleive how nervous I used to be so don't give up!

I passed my test 5 weeks ago at the grand old age of 30!!
I never wanted to drive when I was younger but after having DD I realised how handy it would be.
I started in October and the first month of lessons were awful. My instructor said he'd never seen anyone so nervous executing a 3 point turn!
I made so many mistakes during lessons and I too thought I would never 'get' it, but I persevered and passed my second test.
My life has changed completely and I feel so proud of myself for doing it.
I work with a woman who passed on her 13th test which just goes to show that if you want it enough you will succeed.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you begin to relax a little bit with every passing lesson. What scares you in the car in today's lesson will seem so easy and simple in a months time smile

Sorry, I forgot to say I had 2 hour long lessons a week and would have liked longer if my funds permitted!

IngridFletcher Mon 28-Jun-10 15:44:45

Re the betablockers. My GP gave them to be readily. It is common I think, in fact my instructor advised me to ask for them after the third fail as a young pupil of his had the same problem as me and they worked for her.

Thanks so much everyone. I didn't mean to post and run, but have been busy with work stuff and DD. I am SO greatful for all these lovely supportive replies, and I am going to ask MIL to let me have a practice in her automatic. I also think I will have a chat with the GP about my anxiety levels. Lesson was a bit frought today, but there were also some good points too. I am trying to focus on these positives. It's great to see there is now a support thread thanks to SOH. (I love MN) !

Youve only had 4 lessons OP. Give it time, the shakes do go away. smile

Tidey Mon 28-Jun-10 16:16:06

Rescue Remedy, and get put on someone's insurance who can take you out to practise between lessons.

pinkfluffysheep Mon 28-Jun-10 16:24:44

Don't give up in the manual just yet OP, four lessons is nothing. I used to hate my lessons, think of reasons to cancel at the last minute, feel sick for hours before and after but I stuck with it.

My instructor wasn't the most patient of people but I was quite feisty back so I think that helped.

Keep thinking about the one new thing you have learned when your lesson is over - even if it is just the way to push the indicator for left or right, it will help to keep you thinking positive.

Good luck - I hope you stick with it and it goes well for you

FluffySheep, thanks. I did do some smooth driving today, and panicked a lot less than usual. I am focussing on the bits I did well too. (Other parts were nightmarish) but I have to do this. my ADI is patient, but gets a bit shouty when I do something wrong. He is a nice guy on the whole though. I am going to give myself 10 lessons with him, see how I feel then maybe switch. It's such a weird relationship with an instructor.. I don't want to change him just because he is critical (I suppose that is his job)

Tidey - I have heard a lot of people mention RR. Can you get it in Boots etc or a specialist health food place?

SaliMali1 Mon 28-Jun-10 16:57:23

Hi just wanted to add keep going it will come in the end!! I have been driving now for 2 yeas but it took me over a year with 1 insructor and had a break of a year then 5 months with another.

I faild my test first time by driving the wrong way up a road !!

Second time passsed with only 2 minors
On my parelel park on my second attempt at passing I asked my insructor. " have I failed because if I have should bother to continue?"
would also get your theory out the way as that can be a stumbling block for many.

Tidey Mon 28-Jun-10 17:01:07

I think you can buy it in places like Julian Graves or Holland and Barratts too, but as far I remember I bought it in Boots. I took some five minutes before my driving test on the advice of my instructor - it might be total nonsense but I swear it calmed me down and I really was a nervous wreck before I took it. I passed - first time! smile Good luck - you can do it!

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