Bikinis for little girls are a bit yuck

(175 Posts)
Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 12:10:16

I just don't like them. It implies that they have something that needs to be covered and they don't. Why can't they all, boys and girls, just run around in pants on the beach? Or am I being a bit OTT?

hettyhoover Sun 20-Jun-10 12:19:01

I don't like it either, I think they try to make little girls 'sexy'. But I disaagree that they should just wear pants, I think a 1 piece swimming cossie would be better.

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 12:19:58

i had one in the 70s. they were cooler in the heat than all in ones. really don't understand why people get het up over this.

bibbitybobbityhat Sun 20-Jun-10 12:20:12

I think little girls look just fine in pants, swimming cossies or bikinis.

Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 12:22:17

It's not that I think they look bad, it just seems a bit unnecessary.

ticktockclock Sun 20-Jun-10 12:25:12

Really?? Dress your kids in what you like. No problem with bikini's at any age. My DD has several. biscuit

usualsuspect Sun 20-Jun-10 12:26:12

Doesn't bother me

Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 12:29:21

Yep, really! Although it's the ones that are small versions of adult ones that upset me, not big ol' vest ones.

izzybiz Sun 20-Jun-10 12:31:14

I don't like the ones that have the triangle type bra, they don't have breasts why make out like they do?

My Dd is 6 and wanted a bikini, I bought her a tankini, shows a little bit of her belly, but still looks like a top and shorts.

YANBU, but I wouldn't worry about it too much!

bibbitybobbityhat Sun 20-Jun-10 12:31:34

Try not to be upset by it. To answer your op, yes I think you could possibly be being a bit ott.

Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 12:35:52

grin Maybe upset is a bit strong. Vaguely puzzled would be better. I had my suspicions about being OTT.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Sun 20-Jun-10 12:36:16

YANBU If they're too hot in a swimsuit, then just wear knickers or <gasp> be naked!

Tankinis I like - much like a one-piece really!

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 12:36:53

It doesn't bother me at all I just brought my DDs a new spotty one and a matching one piece in the Debs sale..

OrmRenewed Sun 20-Jun-10 12:37:52

Yes. One-piece or just bottoms or even nowt. They don't have boobs so need for a top to cover anything or provide support.

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 12:39:46

what age are we talking about here?

zerominuszero Sun 20-Jun-10 12:49:42

They don't keep me awake at night but I agree that it's all a bit strange, trying to make them look like adults for the sake of it. I suppose some parents get a kick out of getting their kids to look like mini adults. I agree that just wearing the pants part of them is fine and seems the most sensible thing.

secunda Sun 20-Jun-10 12:51:21

I think they look tacky

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 12:52:03

yeah sure my mum got a kick from seeing me in a bikini in 1974 grin

Bunnyjo Sun 20-Jun-10 12:57:57

We bought our DD, who is 32mth, this and I don't see any problem with it. She likes the skirt bit and I certainly don't think the top is suggesting she has boobs.

OP - you are being a tad OTT, but I suspect you know that. Now, if you were talking about padded bikinis or something equally as gross, then I would be in complete agreeance with you.

ItalyLovingMummy Sun 20-Jun-10 13:13:41

It depends on the bikini, my friend and I were discussing this the other day. The bikini that Bunnyjo has bought her daughter is lovely for example and I wouldn't have a problem buying that if I had a daughter.

Op your opinion makes sense, i disageww but it does have logic.

But those who say they'd prefer a cossie, that has no logic at all? if your saying a little girl has no need to cover anything then whats the point of a costume at all, unless of course you put your boys in them too i suppose? i doubt that though.
Of the young girls i know they love nothing more than to emulate their elders, if this is wearing a bikini on the beach so they look more like mommy than daddy then who cares, and really what harm is being done?

As a side, what age do you deem apropriate for young girl to cover up? 5, 8, 11, 13 maybe??

LeoniPoni Sun 20-Jun-10 13:14:09

Bunnyjo that tankini is adorable!

I don't mind bikinis but as izzybiz said the triangle ones are crossing a bit of a line in whats appropriate and those padded ones were an absolute joke.

Anyway I don't think many little girls who just wanna run around and play are going to be comfortable in a string, padded bikini! Better off just in bottoms!

ticktockclock Sun 20-Jun-10 13:14:34

Little girls have breasts, they are just undeveloped until they hit puberty (and even then some don't get them). However it is a piece of clothing for swimming or hanging out on the beach in. My DD has bikinis, tankinis, swimsuits and a mini wetsuit. We spend alot of time on the beach and in the water (winters are usually away). We like to have variety and think that they are fine, if you don't like them don't use them.

MadameBelle Sun 20-Jun-10 13:15:58

I'm with secunda on this topic.

gobsmackedetal Sun 20-Jun-10 13:16:24

I hate all in ones, dd's belly gets cold wqhen wet which leads to diarhoea ( I know it sounds weird but it has happened every time without fail).

I'm happy for her to wear whatever, I think just pants is the sensible option, but DD is now going through a phase of wanting to be like mummy, therefore wants to wear a bikini like mummy.

A lot of the time is not about what adults feel about what the kids are wearing, but the kids themselves want to wear and for what reasons.


bibbitybobbityhat Sun 20-Jun-10 13:16:40

"the triangle ones are crossing a bit of a line in whats appropriate" ... but why?

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Sun 20-Jun-10 13:17:10

She's not being OTT! She doesn't like them! I don't like them either. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them, but it's ok not to like things, isn't it?

SoupDragon Sun 20-Jun-10 13:22:52

She is being over the top as she is making the leap from just not liking them to saying they are being used to cover up something that isn't there, with all the judgemental connotations wrt premature sexualisation that implies.

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 13:23:33

she asked if she was being OTT though?

bibbitybobbityhat Sun 20-Jun-10 13:27:16

I think MrsWobble's comment was directed at me personally. She and I just don't rub along somehow. Will hide thread.

Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 13:28:13

That's right, I don't like them because of the implications, not because of how they look.

The Next one that was linked is adorable. Some of the Primarni little-woman bikinis are, well, a bit gross. Because of the premature sexualisation issues.

I do appreciate that I'm probably reading a bit too much into it confused

usualsuspect Sun 20-Jun-10 13:28:25

I think shes being OTT ....

Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 13:30:15

Right, tried to find an example just now. Note to self: Do not Google 'string bikini girl' ever again.

Should flat chested teen girls just wear bottoms too? puberty can commonly start as early as 8 and as late as 16 based on my own and frieds experiences. Should perhaps the developing 8 year old where a top and the non developing mid teen sit in pants? Who will judge this?

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 13:32:43


Rosieeo Sun 20-Jun-10 13:33:01

I guess I'm talking about little girls like my DD who's 4. I wouldn't expect a self-concious 10 year old to wander around with pants on just because they don't have boobs.

bran Sun 20-Jun-10 13:37:35

I was never that keen on bikinis for girls, but now that I have a DD I think there are toiletting disadvantages to one-piece suits and would probably go for a sturdy two-piece or just pants.

sungirltan Sun 20-Jun-10 13:37:46

also with Secunda - they are tacky imo. i wouldn't encourage dd to have one. its not the having nothing to cover up i object to i just think they are a bit old for weenies.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Sun 20-Jun-10 13:39:16

Bibbity - not directed at anyone in particular! confused

littledawley Sun 20-Jun-10 13:43:30

I used to feel like this about bikinis but a) DD really wanted one and b) they are much easier when going to the loo. For some reason, although she is only 3, DD refuses to go 'topless'. I bought her a tankini and it's really sweet.

4 makes sense to me, but at that age lots of little girls want to be like mommy, should thy be told no wear the same as the boys? or should the choice be in the shops so parents can choose whats apropriate for their daughters? ANd what age will you deem it acceptable to see little girls with tops on? this you must understand will vary greatly from child to child from mother to mother. This is where we are at the moment. so yes you are being OTT and slightly alarmist as when you think about it, there are perfectly good reasons for the all to not be running round in pants.

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 13:44:49

nipples can sore with sunburn more than any other part don't they?

this argument comes around alot and is a bit daft imo

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 13:50:16

I think what would make children bikinis sexualised is if they came in the same colours and styles as adult womens bikinis...I mean they one I brought is red with pink spots

thumbwitch Sun 20-Jun-10 14:00:59

when I was little, in the early 70s as well, I had one like this one but without the disney bit. I loved it so much, I wore it for years beyond when it fit me.

As I got older I hated bikinis (no boobs) - then I stopped caring for a while and now I can't wear them without causing major offence to innocent bystanders.

I don't like the bra-style ones for littlies, but the sort I had, I can't see a problem with, tbh.

Disagree about kids being able to go nekkid in public tbh.

When I was little I was a monkey for taking my clothes off, mum was fine with this until I did it in the sandpit at the park one day.

Turned out some wierdo was hiding in the bushes taking photos of my naked self.

The mums chased him off, kinda gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach tbh that those photos could still exist.

Fine in own garden tho s'pose, we have to let them be children somewhere.

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 14:06:17
MrsWobbleTheWaitress Sun 20-Jun-10 14:11:26

Yeah, well I know that other parents look at me disapprovingly when I let my girls be naked on the beach ever, but that's their problem.

thumbwitch Sun 20-Jun-10 14:13:32

Mumcentreplus - I can imagine some teens in bikinis like that.

TheFoosa Sun 20-Jun-10 14:17:15

we go to the beach often, you NEVER see kids running around naked

they all seem to wear those uv suits here that look boiling hot

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 14:18:52

Yeah maybe a teen...but a grown woman less so I think.....I would probably wear the same style in black and white or a more muted colour...if my belly did not resemble a huge tiger thinking more along the lines of the colour..

alibubbles Sun 20-Jun-10 14:36:20

Bikini tops on little girls always look a little silly as they never wear them in the right place anyway!

They are always up under their chin, twisted sideways, or droopy, they do look a bit daft! (IMO)

They are totally unnecessary, just a fashion item really.

pranma Sun 20-Jun-10 14:45:13

Naked bottoms on beach can get sand in all the sensitive bits and can be very scratchy indeed.
Re bikinis as long as we arent talking thongs or padded tops I dont mind them at all,or pants,or one-piece-just like to see happy children having fun.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 20-Jun-10 14:51:09

Doesn't bother me really. More confused by the second post which says no to bikinis but a swimming costume rather than just pants. Because that seems somewhat inconsistent.

hettyhoover Sun 20-Jun-10 15:40:27

FallenMadonna, I guess what I was trying to say was, I don't really think being naked on the beach is right, both because as someone else said sand can get in all the wrong places, be scratchy etc, and because I don't think it's appropriate with total strangers around, no matter how young the child is. I don't think bra-type, string bikinis are right either, because they look like they are sexualising children. Have no problem with some of the larger crop top type bikinis though and can understand the sense about being easier to go to the toilet in. Sorry, should have explained in my first post blush.

LeoniPoni Sun 20-Jun-10 15:45:04

I've just reread my earlier post and I wasn't very good at putting across what I meant. Obv I don't think all triangle shape bikinis are inappropriate I just think ones like this are. I'm loath to post a link to The Sun website, but when I googled it was all I could find with a picture.

I haven't read the article, so if The Sun is spouting its usual drivel I don't condone!

jamaisjedors Sun 20-Jun-10 15:56:40

Do no children run around with no clothes on at the beach anymore then Foosa?

On holiday in the north of France there were plenty last year and loads last Easter when it was unexpectedly hot.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 20-Jun-10 16:00:52

I still don't get it really. Because sand isn't going to get into unfortunate places if you're wearing pants. I used to take DD to swimming lessons in jut a swim nappy. It was assumed she was a boy (blue swim nappy) and when I corrected this, I was told by another parent that it was completely inappropriate for her not to be wearing anything over her nipples. Aged 12 months. As far as complete strangers went, presumably it would be OK because she looked like a boy? Or is about the child themselves?confused

TheFallenMadonna Sun 20-Jun-10 16:01:40

Actually, IME sand does get into unfortunate places even if you are wearing a swimming costume. But again, not really the point...

Xenia Sun 20-Jun-10 16:09:20

Loads of children run around naked. The more the better from my point of view. I think a mumsnet campaign to ensure we continue to have that right in the face of those suggesting wrongly (a) there are more people wanting sex with children now than ever or (b) that for Muslim or other religious reasons people should be modestly dressed... mumsnet campagin for nakedness... yes i can see good headlines. Let children be wild and naked and free. The naked body is a wonderful thing. It was only sexist bible stories like the Garden of Eden which led to some silly cultures covering it up.

fifitot Sun 20-Jun-10 16:11:59

Surely they should be covered and wearing UV suits? We had to see a dermatologist and he reckoned anything less was madness, even in the UK.

Xenia Sun 20-Jun-10 16:40:37

There are differing views on that. Some have rickets as too covered and we don't get enough vit D which you get best from some direct sunlight but not for long periods.

LisaD1 Sun 20-Jun-10 16:47:33

I don't like them and wouldn't buy them for my own DD's but weirdly I'm not even sure WHY I don't like them! Am too fat to wear one myself, maybe that's why.

My girls always wear a one piece costume and have never asked for any different which I guess is because that's what they see me in. DD1 is 10, if she really wanted one, enough to ask, then I would probably let her wear one.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Sun 20-Jun-10 17:01:05

Oh my good god! A baby girl with bare nipples being wrong!? What is the world coming to!?

And do none of you get sand in unfortunate places when you swim in the sea, or sit on the sand even when wearing a swimsuit? If so, can you tell me how not to, because it's very annoying!

fifitot - superstrength suncream after 10 minutes without is fine, surely!? Besides, specialists spend their lives dealing with worst cases, so they're bound to be more strict about things. I bet your dermatologist wasn't as obsessed with the right bra being worn as the breast care surgeon I worked with once...who probably also wouldn't be that obsessed with full UV suits!

If they have to wear full UV suits on the beach, why not all day every day?

kikiwoods Sun 20-Jun-10 17:10:19

Just like high heels / make-up / etc. before girls are old enough to ware, it looks totally ridiculous.
Those girls are probably going to become young mums and then do the same with their own daughters. Don't we see that all the time? sad really...

jabberwocky Sun 20-Jun-10 17:19:21

Another 1970's bikini-wearing girl here. Definitely cooler.

iCooed Sun 20-Jun-10 17:19:56

another message to women
"cover up your bodies"
no we fucking wont

jabberwocky Sun 20-Jun-10 17:19:57

As in "not as warm" not the other connotation

porcamiseria Sun 20-Jun-10 17:24:14

i think people need to take a huge chill pill. there are lots of things that worn on a woman look sexy, and on a little girl, not. short shorts, spagetti strap dresses etc.

i had my toddler nude on the beach and then my SIL spotted some old geezer taking photos on his mobile, gross!

have no issue with them

ivykaty44 Sun 20-Jun-10 18:04:02

I have no problem with little boys and girls in swimming pants on the beach or naked - can't see why you would put a bra type top on a little girl as they are no different from a little boy until later in life.

Why put girls in a top and not just bottoms like boys?

deju4 Sun 20-Jun-10 19:13:45

I have a 2yr old daughter & there is NO way i would buy one for her. A one piece cossies is what they should wear. Children are children so parents need to STOP dressing them up as adults.........

ticktockclock Sun 20-Jun-10 19:41:07

Dressing them up as adults??? My child is a child and wears bikinis amongst other things. She is a stylish little girl there is nothing about her bikini's that make her look like an adult. confused hmm It is not a padded mesh top with a thong ffs!

MayorNaze Sun 20-Jun-10 19:43:27

bikinis are fine

depending on the style

none of this string business with padded tops, feck that

little girl 'kinis are cute if appropriate

my dds are 4 & 8 and they both have them

My MIL bought my DD a bikini when she was first born in a size 3-6 months. it was one of those with the tiny triangles. I hated it. My DD never wore it. We didn't actually have a need for it anyway as she wears the happy nappy thingy to go swimming in.

I don't have any problem with the bikinis that are like crop tops. It's the triangular ones that are just wrong wrong wrong.

lucky1979 Sun 20-Jun-10 20:08:18

I was going to buy one of these for DD (aged 7mos): Daisy duck tankini

Simply because I put her in her swim nappy and costume under her clothes before we go to out to the gym to save time, and half the time it backfires on me as, with her innate sense of timing, she fills her nappy before we even get there. I figured the bottom bit would be easier to get on and off while doing a quick change than doing the whole shebang. If we go anywhere beachy I will definitely get her one for the same quick change reason. Nothing to do with dressing them as adults.

shockers Sun 20-Jun-10 20:20:46

I didn't look properly and read that as Daisy Duke tankini grin

mommmmyof2 Sun 20-Jun-10 20:20:48

I bought one recently for my daughter and its cute, not trying to be sexy or older than she is but just cute

Spero Sun 20-Jun-10 20:24:34

I don't think you are unreasonable.

I made foolish error of giving my daughter (who is five) free reign in the Disney store to get a new swimming costume. She came out with a vile bikini with triangular bits for her chest. This is nothing like a tankini or vest top type thing, its basic premise seems to be 'ooo look at me, I'm sexy'.

It makes me feel sad. I don't know where she has got the idea that this is what she wants. Its nothing to do with copying mummy as I have never worn a bikini and never will until science can graft my head onto another body. I agree with concern about premature sexualisation. I would rather she just wore pants or went naked.

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 20:30:42

if they sell them in the disney store surely that is the influence??

The Daisy Duck bikini is fine. I'd buy that for my DD. It's those with triangular bits that are simply wrong.

Revelry Sun 20-Jun-10 21:05:23

Nothing wrong with them IMO. They're far more practical than a costume when they need to go to the loo.

stoppinattwo Sun 20-Jun-10 21:14:35

Oh god dont get me started again!!!!


My DD wears the pink primark bikini and absolutely loves it.........infact she pranced about the garden in it all day today!!!

Crop-top bikini (basically a tankini) = fine

Anything bra-shaped or triangle-shaped = wait until you have something to put in it or it just ends up around your neck and looks stupid.

Buddleja Sun 20-Jun-10 21:15:51

Not sure where i stand with this one

I was at the beach today and there were several girls in bikins didn't really think much about it (in fact i didn't think anything of it) until I saw a small girl (about 6 I'd guess) who had a one on that looked 'sexy'. Now that's wrong.

lovingthesun Sun 20-Jun-10 21:16:07

but tankini's (which my Dd's wear) are so much easier for taking off to go to the loo.

OTOH they do only wear uv suits when on the beach. The tankini's (& occasional swimsuit) are used for swimming lessons.

Personally I think there are more important things to worry about. And, being naked might feel great (ie in your own swimming pool) but honestly, I don't want to see it & I would hate anyone looking at my dd's.

nappyaddict Sun 20-Jun-10 21:20:36

Is there anyone that thinks tankinis are inappropiate as well?

blackberryway Sun 20-Jun-10 21:29:52

People are strange aren't they? They say they are all for letting 'girls be girls' and not sexualised before their time and yet here they are queueing up to say how 'cute' their girls look in a bikini. Or that there is an ok type of bikini and another type that is not. It hypocritical and weird.

YANBU and bikinis sexualise little children in a completely unacceptable way.

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 21:31:53

just a daft argument

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 21:32:35


Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 21:46:03

Its the way peoples minds work that truly sexualise a child fgs...get it into perspective...a small child in a child styled bikini is just that nothing padded parts, thongs or playboy bunny motifs..that imo is minute someone will drop in top-less kids are 3 an all that...hmm

blackberryway Sun 20-Jun-10 21:48:13

It's not a 'daft' argument - it's an important part of the whole discussion about how females are sexualised from an early age by society and how even those who should be protecting them are actually colluding in it.

SoupDragon Sun 20-Jun-10 21:48:44

I think that thinking a child's bikini sexualises them says more about you than it does about the bikini. I see a child in a bikini and I see a child having fun.

LeonardAndDeirdre Sun 20-Jun-10 21:52:27

Never really gave this much thought until accidentally bought DD (3.5) a tankini this year. Did feel a little odd about it but do agree more practical than one piece, she will carry on wearing one piece though. Have no problem with just pants but on a busy public beach I wouldn't want her naked for the whole time because of sun and would be a bit uncomfortable about it. In garden perfectly happy for them to run around naked. Definitely wouldn't put her in a bikini and not sure when I would, not being extreme about it, just how I feel now, but even 14 feels too young for bikinis to me.

blackberryway Sun 20-Jun-10 21:54:02

Cheap and nasty, congrats soupdragon

SoupDragon Sun 20-Jun-10 21:57:32

i do agree with the 'let girls be girls' thing but a childs bikini is a world away from the playboy bunny stuff, padded bras and sexy slogans.

It's a matter of perspective.

DD(4) will be running around on the beach in any combination of Boden spotty bikini top, bikini bottoms, swimsuit, UV suit or butt naked this year and I don't actually care what anyone else thinks. (Although i will, most likely stop her running off naked as I'm not entirely happy with her being naked on a beach full of strangers)

JoInScotland Sun 20-Jun-10 21:58:23

I hated bikinis as a child. I wanted to be like my older brother, and he didn't have to wear one. I therefore took the top bit off at every given opportunity until I was actually 11 (and had something to cover up) and simply wore the swimming bottoms. So now, I don't think you're being unreasonable. I hate them too, and never wore one when I was given the option of a one-piece costume.

SoupDragon Sun 20-Jun-10 21:58:28

What are you withering on about, Blackberry?

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 22:02:03

it's a very small, self indulgent thing to worry about

asampras Sun 20-Jun-10 22:02:32

i work in the field of Law (i am being deliberately vague as to specifics) and i read papers where paedophiles were 'enthusiastically' discussing little girls in the bikinis - again i am being very deliberately vague but suffice to say i felt sick to the stomach and vowed my DD would not wear a bikini until she was much older.

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 22:09:02

lol so you post your experiences on here

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 22:11:36

paedophiles are perverts who can see a child wearing anything specific as a sexual object....they could be as much titilated by a school skirt or knee socks..should I not allow my child to wear them in case some freak is getting off on it?...

oldandgreynow Sun 20-Jun-10 22:12:06

I was reading about a paedophile who loved girls in pale blue pants, so maybe you should not let your DDs wear those either

How is a bikini less 'appropriate than a girls one piece?They both cover the chest ???

blackberryway Sun 20-Jun-10 22:12:51

If it's so insignificant to you southeastastra why have do you hang around to non-argue? You sound defensive

southeastastra Sun 20-Jun-10 22:15:27

oooh get you

was just not wanting other posters to think mumnsnet was not so whack to be honest

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 22:28:14

Oh how I love the word whack..(thought I was the only one!!!...she has stolen me nose and now me 80s slang word of the decade!) grin

ticktockclock Sun 20-Jun-10 22:41:03

you are calling southeastastra defensive blackberryway??? Kettle black much!!

blackberryway Sun 20-Jun-10 22:47:34

I don't understand your post.

Spero Sun 20-Jun-10 22:53:26

nappy addict, I don't think tankinis are inappropriate. And I don't agree with banning photos at sports day/ school concerts in case some paedophile is later drooling over them.

But the triangular bikini my dd picked out makes me very uneasy. It is covered in gold bits and makes her look like a pole dancer. She is only five. It does make me uneasy, not so much because some pervert might look at her but rather that at this age she is already signing up to the idea that this is how girls should be.

If you don't feel that way about bikinis, fine. But accept that a lot of us do, for quite rational and sensible reasons.

fernie3 Sun 20-Jun-10 22:56:00

The only ones I dont like are the very bra type ones thats mainly because I think it looks a little on someone with a totally flat chest - have no problem with the more crop top type of ones.

Having said that all of mine have all in ones which cover their bodies and top of their legs because we spend more time on the beach than in the swimming pool and so a bikini is a little cold 99% of the time!.

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 22:57:36

blackberryway let me translate for you...she means you are equally defensive therefore tis a kin to pot calling the kettle get it now?

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 23:02:02

I have said earlier that its about how the bikini looks and the style...pole-dancer stylee not a good look on a child...

Spero Sun 20-Jun-10 23:09:32

Mumcentreplus, but a surprising amount of posters seem to have missed that quite obvious point and seem to think its all in the weird minds of the bikini objectors.

LadyGaga Sun 20-Jun-10 23:10:41

Go easy girls....

Quite frankly regardless of what my 4 year old daugher wears to the beach I always tell her to cover herself with a withe t-shirt...the sun is just too harsh on her pasty skin...

the more skin covered the better for your little girls....

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 23:22:41

Spero I'm not sure they have...bikini objectors seem to tar all bikinis with the same brush...thats like saying all dresses should not be worn because some exist that make you look like a prostitute....duh..make good and decent choices with your swimwear for your child...I agree LadyG especially if your girls are roses...mine have brown skin but protection in the sun is key no matter your shade

clemettethedropout Sun 20-Jun-10 23:24:21

Indeed, at the beach children should wear UV suits.
I am a bit torn on the bikini. They have been worn for millenia for sporting purposes, they represented progressive liberation for women in the 1940s in that they were no longer compelled to cover their bodies by patriarchal society .... but I also wouldn't let my five year old wear a mini skirt.
Perhaps the post about "being like Mummy" is the most pertinent one. I wouldn't be seen dead in a bikini, even when I had a pre-children body, because I don't want to walk around in effectively underwear in public. So DD is unlikely to ask for one I suppose...

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 23:31:27

I did wear a bikini in the past a bright orange one at that!..when I was on holiday and it was hot and I was feeling particularly confident...I wore an orange sarong to walk around! will not limit what my DDs will wear based on my own objections...

Spero Sun 20-Jun-10 23:32:00

The impression I have got from the thread is that those objecting are objecting to the 'sexy' bikinis, not to two piece swim suits per se. And that I think is perfectly valid.

I don't think this is an argument about what provides proper protection against sun, sand, prying eyes of peadophiles etc but rather why should little girls dress like they are about to be shakin' their money makers???

didn't M n S have some trousers with 'cutie' written across the bum that they withdrew? Same thing. Unnecessary and sad.

Mumcentreplus Sun 20-Jun-10 23:46:21

but they term triangular tops as 'sexy' in some not an enhancement, it's a nipple cover at best!...and some are saying 'all' bikinis are sexual or have sexual connotations...thats just plain weird imo...I have never brought my child any sweat pants with anything written on them...or any playboy based merch...actually I would say I was one of the first people to be very vocal about it!... I really think this has nothing to do with shakin their money makers and more about people becoming ott...

clemettethedropout Sun 20-Jun-10 23:59:33

Mumscentreplus, the history of the bikini is that it was worn to expose the body and be sexually alluring.
They are not exactly utility wear are they?

Spero Mon 21-Jun-10 00:09:37

Mumcentreplus - triangular bikini tops are not 'nipple cover' . They are designed particularly to draw attention to the breasts. Little girls don't have breasts. They are adult clothing for adult women who can make their own choices about what they chose to wear.

Hopefully this will be an informed choice and they won't be parroting some crap about how presenting themselves as sexually available is somehow 'empowering'.

I have nothing against people enjoying the fact that they are sexy or wanting to encourage others to think it too but that is because once they are adults I can assume that they know why they are doing it and the kinds of reactions they are likely to inspire.

Mumcentreplus Mon 21-Jun-10 00:27:25

I agree the bikini is not utility wear...but nor is the bathing suit...back in the day everything was should we go back to total cover?...arms and legs covered not for sun protection but for our children to be demure?...a child is never sexually available...this is not about empowerment...they are children!! I mentioned before some children go top-less does that mean their parents are drawing attention to them by not covering their nipples???...when i wore a bikini I was on a beach on a volcanic island...very few beach dwellers and I was there with my mother??...who exactly was i trying to impress with my triangular boob covers?

blackberryway Mon 21-Jun-10 04:19:49

'a child is never sexually available' - exactly the point people are trying to make so why dress them to mimic sexually available and aware adults?
'back in the day everything was covered' - there is a very obvious difference between the freedom to wear less on the beach, which both males and females enjoy, and wearing something designed to draw attention to the body/to the wearer
'who was I trying to impress with my triangular boob covers?' - I doubt you ever thought in that way, any more than your DD would consciously think in that way. No one here has suggested that little girls are trying to impress anyone - that is why it's so sad to see that their own mothers don't have the sense to guide them in their choices.
And what kind of weirdo describes a child as going 'topless'.

IvaNighSpare Mon 21-Jun-10 06:43:25

"Crop-top bikini (basically a tankini) = fine
Anything bra-shaped or triangle-shaped = wait until you have something to put in it or it just ends up around your neck and looks stupid" - TrillianAstra

My thoughts exactly, 'sexualisation' arguments aside.
Triangle/bra-shaped bikinis need something to 'anchor' them, frankly, the risk of revealing a nipple (shock, horror) in a child is much more likely when the bikini slips as they inevitably do on a flat chest.(or, perhaps we should start introducing our daughters to tit-tape at a young age, too wink).
Tankinis are cute, practical and give more breathing room to skin.

Onajourney Mon 21-Jun-10 07:09:01

I don't mind them as long as they are not tacky ones. This has brought back memories of my little sister who used to live in a bikini and wellington boots all summer (when she was 3) The really funny thing is that she never wore the bottoms only the top and wellies ! Obviously this was only at home though-not out.

My Mum has pics somewhere, we must get them out and tease her !

RamblingRosa Mon 21-Jun-10 09:17:08

I don't like them. DD wears a one-piece or just pants.

Galena Mon 21-Jun-10 09:38:36

I think the OP is talking more about this style of bikini. These are available from 3 years. The top just wouldn't stay put.

I love tankinis, and see the point of ease of changing/toileting. DD (14mo) has 2 1-piece cossies cos that's what I happened to buy her. I would happily buy her a tankini, but wouldn't buy her a tiny bikini.

ticktockclock Mon 21-Jun-10 12:09:36

Putting a child in a bikini DOES not 'mimic' them as sexually available adults. Give me a break, if that is what you think perhaps you need to give your head a shake. She is a litle girl wearing cute and comfortable swimwear.

'Mothers don't have the sense to guide them in their choices' - Wow! I guide my child very well, people are constantly impressed at how outgoing, well-mannered and polite she is. Yes she wears bikini's (amongst other forms of swimwear) and I resent that you Blackberryway would even for a moment critise anyone's parenting over a decision such as this. You sound exactly like the book burning, keep them in the closet, women should were high collared shirts type of person that is everything our modern society has fought so hard to move on from.

I am bringing up my daughter to be an empowered, independent, free thinking, polite and courteous female who is comfortable in her skin, with her clothes, with her body and to be proud that she is a unique human being in this world.

blackberryway Mon 21-Jun-10 12:48:22

Glad to hear it - that'll make a nice change from her tedious deluded windbag of a mother. You are funny tho' I'll give you that. 'High collared shirts type of person' cracked me up. grin

Spero Mon 21-Jun-10 12:58:19

I am constantly impressed with the ingenuity of some posters, making a skilful and massive leap from 'I don't want my daughter in a pole dancer's outfit' to 'I therefore want her in a burka at all times'.

'cute and comfortable' ??? I don't have a link, but the Ariel bikini from the Disney shop is neither. The top is bits of gold spangly triangles which will end up round her neck after five mins of her swimming lesson.

Bikinis are not designed for doing anything active. They are designed for posing around beaches and swimming pools. I want my daughter out, running about, having fun, not worried at the age of five if her bikini top is coming untethered.

It is completely my own fault for letting her go off and chose something without me being there, but in my defence I never thought such horrible items would be made for five years old. What really troubles me is why she picked it out. I am very relaxed about her being naked so she can hardly be rebelling against my puritanical values.

blackberryway Mon 21-Jun-10 13:07:44

I feel for you Spero - our kids can undo our best intentions in lots of ways I think. I doubt if your dd is rebelling at such a young age - more likely trying to copy something she's seen somewhere (probably kids tv) and, saddest of all imo just attracted to something that looks shiny and pretty while having absolutely no idea of any connotations attached to wearing it.

ticktockclock Mon 21-Jun-10 13:08:12

A little girl's bikini is hardly a pole dancer's outfit nor are there any similar connotations in wearing it. Further more talking about making a massive leap pole dancer = little girls swim bikini???

My daughter and I both wear bikini's on the beach (yes I have a daughter and I am still a size 8-10 with massive post baby norks) so I guess we are no better than any females that parade their bodies for sex or money.

It is about being totally comfortable with the human body and how it looks, enjoying fashion at any age. Like I said in a previous post my DD's bikini is hardly red and gold glitter with mesh nipples and a crotchless thong! It is 2010.

clemettethedropout Mon 21-Jun-10 14:27:49

I would much prefer my daughter to be "topless" than wear a bikini top because, to me, a bikini top is the equivalent of a bra.
However, as I said, she wears UV suits when on the beach. Here's hoping she doens't give a damn about "fashion" until she reaches secondary school...

I don't think bikins for little girls are 'fashion', I think they are simply very sweet. (Not playboy tassles, obviously!)
I wore them in the 70's, my mother is a feminist and had no problem with the concept whatsoever!

landrover Mon 21-Jun-10 14:47:56

I am amazed that people dress children in bikinis, what in gods name keeps the tops up? you see children constantly hitching them to the right place. Every time they jump in the pool the top goes adrift either up or down and they have to start fiddling with them to get them in the right place! Bikini tops are designed to hold breasts in!!! not for children for gods sake!!!!

wishingchair Mon 21-Jun-10 14:57:05

landrover - you could use the same argument for swimming costumes. Have lost count the number of times straps slide off shoulders. If bikini tops are designed to hold breasts in then surely that is the same purpose for the top part of a one-piece?!

My dd (7) has a bikini (more like a tankini really). She was growing so quickly, I'd got sick of buying swimming costumes that then were too small. She looks lovely in it. She has a swimming costume and a uv suit too. Out of all those, it is the uv suit that I find the most revealing as it clings a lot when wet.

My younger dd (3) has one-pieces and uv suits. Little little girls do not look so lovely in bikinis IMO - the pot belly etc etc!

clemettethedropout Mon 21-Jun-10 15:03:06

!! at "revealing" and sad at the idea that little girls with pot bellies don't look lovely.

wishingchair Mon 21-Jun-10 15:13:47

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's not what I meant. I mean DD's uv suit basically becomes see-through and clings to her bottom and I would prefer her to be naked to be honest. And my little girl's pot belly is the most gorgeous thing!! but sandwiched between a bikini?? Why?! I was trying to say I think little little girls look better out of bikinis but older girls can look lovely. I think the cut off is when the pot belly disappears. That is if you are looking at swimwear from a style perspective ... personally I buy for practicality and whether they look pretty and age appropriate in it too.

Rosieeo Mon 21-Jun-10 15:26:47

Thanks Galena, that's exactly what I mean, although even that one is more 'child-like' than some of the ones I've seen.

Again, for me it's not covering them up, they could run around buck-nekked for all I care.

I wouldn't buy my DD a miniskirt or wet-look leggings either. They are adult items of clothing and look weird on little girls. In my opinion, of course.

oldandgreynow Mon 21-Jun-10 18:20:51

mini skirts are not for little girls either!
Don't you think they look cute with wooly tights and boots in winter or what about little flippy skirts in summer?

I think 2 piece swimming tops are way more practical for little girls

clemettethedropout Mon 21-Jun-10 18:50:03

No mini skirts (ie to pant line) here for me either. I don't dress my daughter as a mini adult.

Spero Mon 21-Jun-10 19:38:47

I just don't understand why 'because its 2010' means we are weird if we are not signing up to 'dress your daughter like an adult' day. What is 'modern' or desirable about that?

If this really is part of being in 2010, I'd be happy to turn the clock back to when children could enjoy a period of childhood without aping adult dress and adopting adult neuroses about how they look.

blackberryway Mon 21-Jun-10 20:16:46

Yep. In fact I would have thought it is far more suitable in 2010 to let little girls run free naked or wearing whatever is practical without being subjected to out-moded conventions about looking 'cute'.
Mine used to revel in running around in the nud - early childhood is the only time they can be truly uninhibited and they should be allowed to make the most of it.

Amazed at ticktock suggesting that those who argue against bikinis are somehow comparing her and her daughter to sex-workers when they wear them.

nappyaddict Mon 28-Jun-10 16:38:28

blackberry You seem to be one of the more extreme bikini haters on this threadso what is your opinion on tankinis?

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 28-Jun-10 16:46:30

By kikiwoods Sun 20-Jun-10 17:10:19

Those girls are probably going to become young mums and then do the same with their own daughters. Don't we see that all the time? sad really...

Kiki - what a twat you are.

personally - I don't care either way. Bkini, swimsuit, naked whatever. BUT I remember very clearly when I was 3 being upset when my gran made me run round the beach with no clothes on. Sad but true. You need to be guided by your child, tbh.

Bikinis (ie triangle tops not vest tops) are completely inappropriate for young girls - I hate them. It suggests they have something to hide and that girls are mini adults. No difference between a bikini and a high heels imo.

TooBusyByHalf Mon 28-Jun-10 17:38:18

YANBU. Bikini tops are the equivalent of bras and therefore inappropriate for children under bra wearing age. Pants alone are fine, one pieces ok, UV suit when it's sunny, but my 3 (eldest 7) all go naked whenever they can. the important thing, for me, is that they can run about, swim, play etc (with or without clothes) comfortably. No-one can seriously tell me that a little girl wearing a bikini top is not going to be hitching it back into place every 5 seconds.

SunSoakedStone Mon 28-Jun-10 18:19:54


just pants= fine

bikini= fine


Even I wouldn't do padded bikinis now (but that is purely due to the friggin,heaving, lactating enormity of the things, and I would definitely knock someone out).

Lovecat Mon 28-Jun-10 22:12:13

Strangely enough I was thinking about this very subject yesterday at the paddling pool in Brighton. DD (5) was wearing the bottom half of a tankini set - I buy them for the pants part only and never keep the tops, finding pants are best for ease of going to the loo - and I slowly realised as I looked around that she was the only female child in a very packed paddling pool who was not in a one-piece or a bikini.

As far as I'm concerned, why should a 5 year old have to cover her chest up and be bothered with hitching up straps/have issues going to the loo? I spent my summers til I was about 8 running around naked on the beach and it never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with that (1960's/70's). But it was obvious I was the only parent there yesterday who thought that way. Which is a bit sad...

SixtyFootDoll Mon 28-Jun-10 22:20:03

asampras - peadophiles enthusiastically discuss children full stop.
Shall we lock children away in case a paedohil emight happen to see them?
This has to be one of the most ridiculous threads ever.

nappyaddict Tue 29-Jun-10 00:59:57

Lovecat Does your DD just wear the pants part for swimming lessons too? In Spain it is common for little girls to wear just the pants until quite late and you can easily just buy the bottoms for children unlike in the UK.

Lovecat Tue 29-Jun-10 13:41:37

nappyaddict - she did a few times but then got a bit self conscious because all the other girls were in cossies (they don't allow bikini-topped swimwear for lessons) and 'I'm not a boy' so now she's in a cossie for lessons

I really resent having to buy a whole bikini when all I want is the pants!

Bonsoir Tue 29-Jun-10 13:45:34

I think bikinis on little girls are adorable. Especially the cotton Liberty print kind, with a nice floppy sunhat, big sunglasses, some jewellery and flip flops.

Lovecat Tue 29-Jun-10 13:47:28

I take it your daughter doesn't actually swim, then, wearing that get-up, Anna, she just poses around on the Cote D'Azur....?

<Jewellery? Sunglasses?? wanders off muttering to self>

Bonsoir Tue 29-Jun-10 13:49:56

She has quite a large beach wear wardrobe grin - some quite nice kaftans too.

She is going for a swimming test later this afternoon with a very prudish decent red one-piece.

In Italy, up until very recently it was normal to buy just the bottom part for pre puberty girls.
Nowadays they only sell the bloody bikini set. I refuse to spend more money because there are 2 useless triangles attatched to the piece my dd needs. grrrrr

Bonsoir Tue 29-Jun-10 13:52:27

At BonTon they only sell the pants bit of the bikini, Franca.

For any bikini lovers, I have just ordered this sweet bikini for dd (aged 3 1/2).
To me it's not about 'covering up' a non-existent chest, it's merely a cute look. But I would happily let her run around in just the bottoms.

We don't have BonTon here, as you know. Even Petit Bateau has betrayed me and sells bikini sets for little girls.

Bonsoir Tue 29-Jun-10 13:54:44

But you can order BonTon online...

the website will re open on the 19th of July... a bit late for me grin
Anyway, dd is still wearing her size 3/4 yrs old pants, DPAM used to make lovely cotton ones.

I used to think bikinis for girls were tacky too. But I just bought DD one, she's 6 1/2 and she looks absolutely beautiful in it, far better than her mum smile

Booboobedoo Tue 29-Jun-10 14:06:11

I actually laughed out loud when I read the first post stating that they would not allow their child to be naked in public in case a paedophile saw them.

Then I read the next one.

And the next one.

Are you serious?

Do you know what a wide variety of perversions there are in the world?

You can't protect your children from being perved on from afar by those who are that way inclined, and you should not make it the childrens' problem.

And so what if some dirty old man takes sneaky pictures of your child? What possible harm does that do your child? It's his nasty little problem, not yours.

nappyaddict Wed 30-Jun-10 01:41:50

Lovecat What about UV sun suits or wet suits - she could wear one of those for swmimming which covers her top half which won't make her self conscious cos girls have their top half covered angry but is unisex so doesn't actually give out the message as a costume, tankini or bikini that girls need to be covered up iyswim.

Out of interest when your DD starts to develop breasts would you be happy with her in a bikini or tankini then?

CheerfulYank Wed 30-Jun-10 02:23:34

I was just talking about this today. For some reason, the padded diapers one can buy from Mini Boden (this is the only place I've seen something like that as they don't sell just bottoms for girls in the US, at least not that I've ever seen) seem less "wrong" than a padded bikini top, and I'm not sure why.

Again, I'm not sure why. A normal tankini or bikini is ok, a "pole dancer" esque one is icky. And no, I'm not a prude, and not into the "patriarchy" telling me to cover my body (YAWN), etc, I just would rather that I, and any hypothetical daughters I have, do not feel the need to be judged on what I/they look like and how "sexy" I can be. This is all moot though as any biological child my pasty husband I have is going to be covered in surf shorts and a rash guard...we're pale. Unless there's some throwback genes lurking from my mother's Blackfoot ancestors...

CheerfulYank Wed 30-Jun-10 02:28:48

By "padded diaper" I meant swim diaper, not like a butt enhancer or anything.

nappyaddict Wed 30-Jun-10 11:32:54

Swim nappies/diapers are padded because they have towelling inside them to soak up wee/poo. They are padded for a reason. Girls don't need padded bikinis to make them look like they have breasts.

nappyaddict Wed 30-Jun-10 12:28:02

I think my friend got just bottoms from here

nappyaddict Wed 30-Jun-10 12:41:08

bikini pants up to age 3.

Thisisthatvilewoman Wed 30-Jun-10 12:43:58

Completely depends what it looks like. If it's a tiny 'breast shaped' top and small bottoms then eeewww, likewise high cut or cut out costume. My DD has one, she is three, that is a large top and large bottoms with a little skirt thing, she loves it. I do prefer her swimming costume but that's because it's much more expensive and lovely.

Condensedmilkaddict Wed 30-Jun-10 14:53:38

I think it is bizarre that we can accept each other's choices on topics like politics, abortion...

Yet a topic on children's swimwear is so heated.

Live and let live. I honestly cannot believe that some of you are sitting around the pool judging what other kids are wearing!

RockRose Wed 30-Jun-10 15:06:41

Gosh what a huge discussion over a bikini.

To add my penneth though, my dd is 15 now and has had bikinis all through. It had never once crossed my mind that their could even be a short discussion about it let alone 170 posts!

Lovecat Fri 02-Jul-10 02:42:14

They don't allow the UV suits in lessons, nappyaddict, and tbh even if they did I wouldn't put her in one - far too much faffing getting in/out of them when they're wet! And as for a wetsuit... aaargh!

If she felt confident wearing a bikini when she developed breasts, then that would be her choice to wear one, I wouldn't go all cats bum on her (but I wouldn't be rushing to buy her a 3-tiny-triangles-of-cloth one, either!).

I just think that at 5 yrs old, I would like her to be free in her little body and not have to worry about social convention, gender stereotyping or other people's hangups. At that age they should be able to go with what's comfortable and convenient. Just like boys get to do.

I hate the triangle bra type bikinis on children. Not because of the paedophile issue, but because it just smacks of adults dressing their children as mini adults. I don't think it can be all that comfortable for them anyway.

I don't mind the two-piece tankini and pants ones though. They can be really cute and I remember my mum dressing me in them when I was little.

My dd though wont wear one. She's 3 and wants to wear swimshorts so I leave her in them, and when we go to the beach or if the sun's high I put on a uv top for her.

"I just think that at 5 yrs old, I would like her to be free in her little body and not have to worry about social convention, gender stereotyping or other people's hangups. At that age they should be able to go with what's comfortable and convenient. Just like boys get to do. "

Love that Lovecat grin

nappyaddict Fri 02-Jul-10 10:58:37

lovecat DS uv suit is just little shorts and a long sleeved rash top so easy for going to the toilet.

Why don't you like wet suits? They are great for keeping them warm, meaning they can stay in the pool longer.

BarefootShirl Fri 02-Jul-10 11:27:27

DD(11) has had bikinis since she was about 6 but she rarely wears the top, preferring to run around in just her bottoms.

Personally I don't worry too much about the paedophile issue as such perverts will sadly get their "kicks" whatever she is or isn't wearing.

Generally I let her decide what she wears (within reason) - if she's comfortable and happy playing on the beach then that's what it's all about.

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