To buy this without DH permission

[Gracie123]

I know I am but I don't care!! I'm so freaking excited!!

I just bought a Leebruss Premier Lift (see their website) for £150 on ebay!!

DH had semi agreed to let me look at second hand prams (they are sooooo useful with LO on the way and DS buggy is not suitable for new borns) but said he would like me to wait until we have moved house (4 weeks away) because he didn't want 'any more junk/furniture to move with us'.

But this was just too much of a bargain to pass up!! The car seat is brand new, still boxed and the pram seat has only been used once or twice. TBH it's this seasons colours, so can't be more than a few months old!!

Potential problems are:
i) DH asked me to wait and I didn't
ii) seller will only accept collection, no couriers, and as I don't fit behind the steering wheel at the moment, DH will have to drive 1.5 hours to collect it
iii) I haven't told anyone sex of baby - DH wants a surprise, and the colour of the buggy may just ruin this...

Seller has agreed to wrap it in black plastic though so that he can't see it when he collects

[waitingforbedtime]

hmmm theres no point saying yabu since youve bought it!

[pjmama]

Just keep stressing how much money you've saved him by buying a second hand bargain like this! If he gets annoyed, just play the pregnancy card and cry!

[SeaTrek]

I think because of ii you are being unreasonable!

Perfectly reasonable to snap up the bargain without asking though, IMO, but you are only really dodgy ground with ii and iii though!

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

I don't think you are, but I wish I could get that excited about anything.

[winnybella]

Sorry, but I don't see why would you need your dh's permission.
If it's a great bargain, you should be pleased with yourself and so should he.

[Iklboo]

Could you look into how much it would cost for a courier to pick it up for you - and mybe deliver it to a relative's house for now?

[Gracie123]

I did ask about a courier and the seller refused

I don't think an hour and a half is too bad... We live in the middle of the lake district and drive 40 minutes to our nearest tesco!!!

People worrying about DH's permission - it's just the way our marriage works. He works, I'm a SAHM, but I'm in charge of budget/household running costs etc...

For that reason, DH would always ask me 'Is it okay if I spend £25 on ' etc... because I tend to know more about our financial situation than he does. I feel I should extend the same courtesy, and most of the time I do, but I don't think I have ever spent this much money on anything since we got married!!

I'm kind of a frugal person, and this is pretty out of character. I think it's going to come as a bit of a shock to him.

Any ideas on how to sweeten the blow? (bouncing off the walls grinning is probably not going to be a helpful response, but is about all I can manage right now!!)

[potplant]

YABU - he gave you perfectly valid reasons why you should wait and you ignored him. Oh and you've loaded him with a 3 hour drive to pick it up.

My DH does this sort of stuff all the time and it drives me bonkers.

I can't understand why some women get so over-excited about prams!

[Hai1988]

just out of interest i am looking at them on line now and it is a lovely pram btw.
So you are totally NBU.

What colour one is it?

[pagwatch]

I have the same open and mutual relationship with my DH as you do when it comes to money. We talk to each other about purchases that would impact our finances IYSWIM.

Nevertheless YABU. Snapping up a bargain is a crap excuse - a phone call takes 5 minutes. Plus you have comitted him to collecting it - a call to check he didn't mind driving to get it was the minimum courtesy. You are wrapping up being rude and inconsiderate in pregnancy hormones and money saving when it isn't. Its just rude.
Plus its just a pram - but I suspect that is a whole other thread

[HurleySatOnMe]

yabu.
And having had a look at that pram, you will be slinging it in the nearest skip to change it for a Maclaren in 3 months time, you mark my words. The wheels don't swivel and it looks like a tank

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

YABU.

DH earns all the money, I stay at home to look after the kids and apart from food shopping I would never spend more than £50 on anything without asking. He hasn't said I had too but I do it out of respect for him having earned the money and being in charge of it all. Having said that he has given me £1100 this month and that is for me to do what I want with as long as I feed us all.

You really are being unreasonable to commit him to a 3 hour drive without asking him to get something he asked you not to get and are spoiling the surprise of the sex of his baby.

[pagwatch]

oh Fab
I don't agree with that at all!

I don't go out and work but we earn every penny between us.
He could not go out the front door without me doing waht I do so we are a partnership and EQUALS !

I spend whatthe fuck I like. I don't ever spend anything that is unreasonable or which would make our finances tricky . But if I want something for me or him or the children I buy it.As does he.
We are a team. Equals.

I am very fond of you Fab but honestly, you should think about that. You are not given spending money - you are spending your family money as an adult and as part of a loving partnership.
Your children should see you as an equal and being given spending money like a teenager or employee is not great at demonstrating that

[pagwatch]

Gosh - I hope that doesn't sound harsh. I get the respecting him bit. But I can't see where are you respecting your own contribution when you treat it as his money?

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

Dh has told me that me being willing to stay at home enables him to go out an earn money outside the home so we are equals in that respect. I wouldn't just go and spend money willy nilly as we don't have a huge amount. I can't be buying clothes every week for instance. DH pays all the bills and gives me pretty much everything that is left and he isn't given me pocket money like a kid. I have a separate account for it through choice as I can keep a better idea of what i have left.

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

I do respect what I do Pag, and you know I find being a mum hard, but me being at home is great for me as i can't be arsed to work.

[pagwatch]

Fair enough .

I just get really annoyed at the idea that the person leaving the home to work is the one who earns the money and the other person is given money to spend.

Dh has no more right to decide how the money is spent than i do. It goes straight into our joint account because it is ours. Not his

[megapixels]

YABU I think, but not very strongly. For me though it's just a pram, and not one I'd want to buy, so I don't understand your excitement really.

[pagwatch]

"but being at home is great for me as I can't be arsed to work"

But you are working sweetie. And there is nothing wrong with enjoying your job....

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

To be fair DH has only ever said no twice when I have asked if I could buy something and money was tighter then.

Dh has said many a time me being willing to stay home enables him go out to work so he totally gets the contribution I make.

[Gibbon]

I don't get the pram (hun) thing but I do think you should have called him first out of courtesy.

Have to disagree with Fab too I'm afraid. I'm a SAHM and I never ask DH if I can spend money (couldn't think of anything worse tbh) but if it's something biggish for the home/baby I would always call and just say 'seen a bargain, gonna grab it' sort of thing.

He has never said no and never dream of doing so but as I said, it's a courtesy thing to me.

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

x post pag

I mean I like doing what I want and not being restricted.

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

I am only asking in case there is no money left..

[Gibbon]

Cross post Fab, you have explained more now