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AIBU?

to be p**sed off with my sister

16 replies

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 20:51

background:

my sister, her dp and her dcs moved in with my dad shortly after my mum passed away to help with rent/bills and my dad apparently cant cook my dad not a very nice person when drunk, and started a few arguements with my sister, and kept telling her to remmeber whose house it was.

After last arguement My sister and her 3 dc's moved in with me, dh and our 6 dc's 6 weeks ago.

She went to the council and told them that she was homeless and sleeping on my living room floor, and that she had spilt up with her partner (he is a asshole too).

Last friday she signed for the keys for the house, in that time I told her that she could stay on here while she painted the bedrooms and laid carpet, her ds has asthma, and her little on is only 3 mths old. I thought that it would take a week to get the painting done, my brother said he would help to paint, and so would one of his friends.

In the last week, she has glossed door frames and radiators upstairs, the little bedroom is all paited. But she has stripped the wall paper in 2 bedrooms, the hallway/landing, living room, taken the tiles off in the kitchen and in the bathroom (because a few were cracked)

She never seems to have her dcs, I have had them loads of times over the 6 weeks that she has been with us. Yesterday I had her 3mth old from 8am and I phoned her at 2pm, to ask her if she could pick her dd2 up after she picks up her dd1 from creche at 2.30pm, as I had loads to do yesterday afternoon. She went into a strop, phoned me when she was down the road to have the baby in the car seat and ready to go as she was very busy and had things to do in her new house.

Her ds who is 9, wee's over the toilet floor, I told him that if he makes a mess please could he either clean it up or at least let one of us know so that we can clean it up. Sis decided to blame my ds (6yr old) who was still in bed. Today she has been out all day decorating and the toilet floor has been dry all day, until she came home and her ds went to the toilet, and now it is wet, although sis wont have it that it was her ds.

Its my dd1's birthday in a fortnight, and she has asked me for a sleepover, I told her that it will have to be after sis moves out, as there is no where for her friends to sleep. I mentioned to sis and told her dd1's plans for her birthday and sis said it was ok she would sleep out the night of the sleepover as there was no way she would have moved in by then.

OP posts:

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Bluebell99 · 04/06/2010 20:55

OMG you have the patience of a saint, she is seriously taking the mickey! You really need to stop letting her treat you like a doormat. She has a house now, and needs to leave.

diamondsandtiaras · 04/06/2010 21:02

Agree with Bluebell. Why not give her a deadline of DD1's birthday to have moved out? Just explain nicely that DD1 is having a sleepover for her birthday and they will need to have moved out by then so that there is enough room. She's taking advantage and being completely unreasonable IMO.

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 21:03

my patience is being stretched to the limit, I am snapping at dh and the dcs , she just not taking the hint.

Forgot to mention I do all the washing and cooking. so she hasnt got anything to do at all.

Problem is my mother gave into her all the time, she never really had her ds when he was a baby, as she suffered really bad PND so my mum practically brought my nephew up until he was about 3, when she moved out the first time.

OP posts:

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 21:05

I explained that dd1 was having a sleepover and she has said 'ok I will sleep out on that night'

I would like it if she could move out while we are still talking,

OP posts:

cosysocks · 04/06/2010 21:09

My first reaction is to not drop hints but as diamond has said tell her she needs to be out by DD1s birthday.
However it sounds like she maybe slightly afraid to be by herself and resorting to previous behavior.

Bluebell99 · 04/06/2010 21:12

I really think you have to just say no to her. Don't cook for her, don't look after her kids, don't be available. Just say to her, you are sorry but she needs to move out , you need your own space. She can only act like she does, because you are allowing to. Say NO.

Fluffyone · 04/06/2010 21:13

Don't hint, tell her. Be nice about it but just say that you are finding the crowded house a bit of a strain, want to let the sleepover go ahead, and give her a deadline.

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 21:15

I am sort of afraid of telling her she needs to be out my xx date she is the type of person to go into a strop, plus she takes her moods out on the kids, which is not fair on them.

I am waiting for my (our) hv to get back to me, as I think she may have pnd this time. Last time she had pnd my mum took her to the gp, this time i have no backup

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JackBauer · 04/06/2010 21:38

tots, you know my opinion on this, am glad you finally started this so you can have it spelled out to you that she is being incredibly selfish and spoilt BUT I am also well aware of strop potential.
Ask her for money, tell her she is using all your stuff and there isn't enough for you to carry on. She'll leave soon enough.

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 21:44

JB, i feel guilty asking her to leave. Dh has said that if i dont say anything then he will which wont go down well. I just cant be doing with the hassle of arguements. I just want peace and quiet.

I turn into a screechy mother whenever she is around

OP posts:

Katisha · 04/06/2010 21:46

Feeling guilty is such a pointless emotion. Doesn't ever seem to help anyone, but perpetuates the situation which needs to be cleared up.

JackBauer · 04/06/2010 21:49

Of course you do, because you are not a bitch!
But 6 weeks of extra people in your front room, to feed, clean up after is enough for anyone. The fact she can't see that is not your fault.

Frankly, if you don't I will!

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 21:55

LOL, JB think dh will do it first.

although its only her and dd2 tonight, as she has palmed her ds and dd1 off on her xdp.

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ApocalypseCheese · 04/06/2010 22:09

The hall etc arent a priority and can wait imo, Crikey, i've been in my house 9yrs and my hall is still stripped waiting to be painted

She should be gone, and grateful she got a house so quickly .

JackBauer · 04/06/2010 22:22

Exxactly apocalypse, she was saying how desperate she is for a house, and yet she still needs it all to be perfect.

How is the bastard x? still and x?

tots2ten · 04/06/2010 22:32

dont know what is going on with x or not x? seems like the argue every night and make up during the day. He could stay up there later in the night as he is not working this weekend and get the bloody wallpapering done, but he wont stay there if sis is not there, he words 'why should i do anything, if your not going to be doing anything' my responce to sis was 'because its for your bloody kids'

I wish my house was perfect, we have been here 8years, and still havent even stripped off all the wallpaper in my bedroom.

She is desperate to have a house, just not one that she can live in.

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