to not 'release wind' in front of my DP?

(173 Posts)
KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:33:24

We've been together 3 years. I've never done it. During a conversation with the girls last night, in their words I'm a 'bloody freak' hmm. I've also told him I don't poo blush

I'm not weird am I? Surely I'm not the only one who doesn't...?

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 16:35:28

How the hell do you manage it??

If I need to fart, then I need to fart. And I'm not going out of the room/getting out of bed every time. Honestly, woman, aren't you worried you might explode in front of him??

PatsyStone Tue 01-Jun-10 16:36:24

I wouldn't say you are a "bloody freak", but my mil always claims to never fart in front of anyone, and I think she farts loudly in bed while asleep all night instead! Does your dp really believe you don't poo?!

I do it in front of my dh, fwiw, why not?

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:36:59

I just don't do it very often. If I do... I can hold it, or it doesn't make a noise (or smell) blush

Harimo Tue 01-Jun-10 16:37:28

I've not done it in over 10 years.

My Dh would be appauled. (no, seriously)

I am actually beginning to believe he DOESN'T poo.

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 16:38:49

I think it is a bit weird, but hey whatever.

iamamug Tue 01-Jun-10 16:38:59

I would seriously just burst!!!!
After 19 years there are no secrets left (wouldn't poo infront of DH though)
Hmmmm - I did when I gave birth - think I'm allowed that one.

smallones Tue 01-Jun-10 16:39:22

I would burst if I couldn't.

DH always likes to say " the couple that farts together stays together". Not sure how true that is though

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:39:24

PatsyStone- He doesn't believe me, but he's never known me to, he's a bit baffled grin
As for why - I just think it's really gross, and a massive turn off. I was suprised that the others did. One even does it nin bed ad holds the cover down over his head [boak]

lorelilee Tue 01-Jun-10 16:39:36

My DH HATES it - he finds it really offensive. WE have been together for 13 years and I think I have heard or smelt his farts a total of about 4 times - he says that's what the toilet is for! I, however, come from a family of 'open' farters and find it very difficult to comply with his ban!

emsyj Tue 01-Jun-10 16:40:52

I think it's a bit odd to be with someone on a very intimate level and not fart in front of them, but whatever floats your boat... I know married couples who don't share a bathroom for fear the other will cotton on to the fact that they have bodily functions. I couldn't live like that, but hey ho.

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 16:41:07

Well, I tell DH my shit smells of roses but I don't think he believes me........

I have had to poo in front of DH but only post-surgery, when the medical staff wanted me to use a bedpan and wouldn't help me to the toilet. DH, god love him, took me to the loo and stayed with me, in order that I did not have to suffer the indignity of having to poo in my hospital cubicle blush

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 16:42:45

dutch ovens!

Like iamamug my DH has been at the business end during the births of both DSs. We have no secrets. He was very ill the other night and I helped him getting cleaned up - thought we were in for an A&E trip actually. It was yuck, but he is my DH.

I don't do it in front of my DP either. We've been together 10 years. I've never done it in front of him except when sleeping and then I don't know about it. grin I've also never used the toilet in front of him, nor he me. I wouldn't/don't let him see me shave my legs or underarms, and I don't like him watching me put on make up either. I don't talk to him about periods and refer to period pain as stomach ache. I prefer to leave some level of mystique intact - like when we go out for a special night we take it in turns to get ready and I go last so all he sees is the scratty make up free runt scramble up the stairs and a glorious sex goddess come down and none of the mysterious process that caused the transformation wink

YANBU

ShatnersBassoon Tue 01-Jun-10 16:43:40

My sister is a bit like you, Kodak. She tries to maintain an image of gasless purity for her husband.

She was mortified when the truth about her actually really pooing was revealed by an unexpected, explosive episode of diarrhoea. Even the dog got to see her shit herself.

InVinoFerretsAss Tue 01-Jun-10 16:44:07

Not sure about telling DH you don't actually poo, does he still believe in Father Christmas as well?

My DH and I don't fart in front of each other, nor do we use the toilet in front of each other. I'm a big believer in trying to keep a bit of romance alive and after 3 kids we need all the help we can get!

PS. DH has NEVER seen me shave my legs either. Although he did offer to help me wax myself when I was too pregnant to see the necessary 'parts'. hmm It's not like I swan around in mules and full make up all the time, I just think there are things he really doesn't need to see!

I admire your restraint - I'd much prefer never to fart in front of anyone, but sometimes you just can't help it. DP told me at the weekend that I was farting in my sleep - was mortified! I have never pooed in front of anyone and would never want to - that's why there's a door to the bathroom. Same goes for shaving my legs and bleaching moustache, private, private, private!

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 16:46:28

I dont. I think it's nice to keep some of the mystery back.

He has let out the odd trump in front of me but generally he gives the same respect. I teach the kids to go to the bathroom if they need to pass wind. I think, we give strngers the common courtesy of not making them breath in our gas so we should give our loved ones the same respect.

I wouldnt wee in front of him either. Is that weird? or should I start a new thread?

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:46:58

NormalityBites - grin Are you me?

ShatnersBasson shock <considers taking a daily dose of immodium, just in case>

BritFish Tue 01-Jun-10 16:48:13

noone actually thinks their husband thinks they dont poo? noones that stupid are they?

i do not go to the toilet in front of DH, i prefer not to have an audience. he has peed in front of me, and farts are free flowing in this house. he saw me give birth. which is not a beautiful lovely thing visually....

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 16:48:39

I do not, through choice, defecate or urinate in front of my DH (though extenuating circumstances have led to that occurrence; see below). I would love it if my children, on the other hand, could learn not to come in whilst I am on the loo. Honestly, they (all girls) seem to regard it as a Good Time for A Chat......

iamamug Tue 01-Jun-10 16:49:27

I aagree there has to be some mystique - but like Morloth - sometimes shit happens - if you excuse the pun.
On holiday poor DH got dellie belly and had to send one of the boys to fetch me from my turn in the bar to come back and clean him up - and the room - and the bed - and the bathroom -
Poor love!!!

violethill Tue 01-Jun-10 16:49:44

So what happens if you need to let one rip in bed? Do you honestly get up and go to the loo? Do you have an en suite? How do you disguise a really good one?

I too admire the restraint shown by some of you, but I'm seriously wondering how you manage it!

*checks self for kodaks and bats* It is possible we're the same person. We're definitely the last of a dying breed grin It's not just DP I don't do that stuff in front of ANYONE ;) It's private!

IveStillGotIt Tue 01-Jun-10 16:51:24

I let rip in front of DP!!! I couldn't when we first started seeing each other though! And if I needed a poo, I would sent him out to the shop for fags or milk!
How things have changed though!!! If he's in the bath, and im desperate for a shit, i'll just go in and do it infront of him!
He wont poo infront of me though, he just stands banging on the door telling me to hurry up!!!
I cant poo in public toilets or other peoples houses though! Ive only recently managed to poo at my work toilets!!!

If I feel the pressure and I am alone, I succumb to the urge - if I am not alone, I control the urge. Simple as that, same as you would do in an inappropriate-farting situation smile

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 16:53:31

If in bed yes I get up and go to the loo... and our loo is downstairs!

Unless Im asleep... or i know for sure HE is..

Poledra - my daughter likes to come in and sit on my lap while I wee and talk to me about 'important' matters.. bless her its probably the only time she can get my full attention!

I do wee in front of my girlfriends though on nights out... In fact we found a club the other day with two loos in each cubicle... handy!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Tue 01-Jun-10 16:56:53

Hahahahahahahahaha! Sorry, can't stop laughing!

My DH can't keep his hands off me and we both poo and fart, shave (different things obviously!), get ready to go out etc. in front of eachother. Well, not intentionally, but we don't go to ridiculous lengths to hide either thing. It's a bit daft to, really. I'd be a bit pissed off if he stopped fancying me just because he saw me doing normal human things!

IveStillGotIt Tue 01-Jun-10 16:57:28

Forgot to add, if I feel a really good fart coming, I'll ask DP to 'pull my finger'!!!

InVinoFerretsAss Tue 01-Jun-10 16:58:01

I have a friend whose DH has quite often wandered in and done a poo whilst she's relaxing in the bath! hmm
You'll need more than a few scented candles to sort that out love.

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 16:59:16

Invino, I would FREAK if DP did this!

PatsyStone Tue 01-Jun-10 16:59:16

I could never poo in front of dh, and I would actually die of asphyxiation if dh ever pooed in front of me. Urgh. Farting though, no problem though I don't think it's odd not to either. Holding someone under the cover though, that is wrong!

Dh's quite chilled about periods too. I will not pluck my chin hairs out in front of him though, he really doesn't need to know that I have a hairy chin.

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 17:00:40

violethill - I generally just don't need to that often.

See - I notice alot of you (that don't) are saying that your DP's don't either. My DP does it in front of me, and sits on the loo with the door wide open. He says it's to keep the balance for the DS's grin

violethill Tue 01-Jun-10 17:01:06

How about changing your tampon in front of DH?

(OP - does your DH know that women have periods?!)

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 17:01:37

Patsy - never say never - would you rather a bedpan or DH with you in that toilet cubicle?? smile

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Tue 01-Jun-10 17:02:09

Invino - now that is gross!

BritFish Tue 01-Jun-10 17:02:53

i would never change tampons pads etc in front of DP because lets face it, its grim buisness, and i dont like having to look at it so i dont think its fair on DH either. also, although he wasnt put off by childbirth, that might just do it...

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 17:04:52

violethill - shock no way!! He does not need to see that!! Bit of a sticking point at the moment though that, been having some problems and he's been ferrying me back and forth to the hospital so have talkeda little about periods grin

and he did see me give birth to our son, and was very hands on. Thats different imo though.

PatsyStone Tue 01-Jun-10 17:05:05

Poledra - Good point! I think dh would be preferable to an audience of strangers in a ward! That said, I do get stage fright in any house other than mine of my mum's so maybe it just wouldn't happen...

WellMeantHellBent Tue 01-Jun-10 17:06:39

I try not to but sometimes little ones slip out blush 'D'P however has held a pillow oon my face after letting rip onto it, there are no words to describe how disgusting that was! He was very proud of himself too, chuckled every half hour when he remembered what he'd done, the idiot!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Tue 01-Jun-10 17:08:26

How sad that you're so ashamed of your periods you go to lengths to hide them from your husbands too! It's just blood fgs!

InVinoFerretsAss Tue 01-Jun-10 17:11:22

That said my DD has quite often dropped a sneaky stinker whilst I've got the bath water running for me. Then I get all ready and walk into a wall of smell and bubbles. Lovely.

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 17:11:35

Not ashamed MrsWobble - he just doesn't need to see it?!

Nah my DP farts like a trooper in front of me, but to be fair to him he does look sheepish and say sorry afterward grin He likes his bathroom alone time as well, and to greet each other fully done up rather than witness the process.

I would never ever change my tampon in front of him shock I wouldn't even buy tampons in front of him!

He was kind of there when I gave birth, well he was on the stairs outside the bedroom so not technically in the same room but I distinctly remember him giving the placenta a good prod and asking if we could feed it to the dog (we didn't grin)

dwpanxt Tue 01-Jun-10 17:12:36

IveStillGotIt - couldnt you have kept that yourself until after I had finished my curry ?

Rice up the nose isnt nice for anyone to see wink

5DollarShake Tue 01-Jun-10 17:15:17

This is a massive bone of contention in our house.

DH has an outdated, Victorian attitude towards farting, in that it's fine for men to release wind as and when needed (at home, sans visitors - he's not a total philistine) but under no circumstance is it OK for women. This is like a red rag to a bull for me.

If he wants me to clam up, then he has to shut his buttocks as well. We are forever striking up deals in an attempt to keep both of us happy, but they always inevitably fail.

I do think some people need to fart more than others, and those who don't need to struggle to understand (and out up with) the steady emissions of those who do.

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 17:15:36

change your tampon in front of someone??? Thats just rude.

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 17:16:16

Its not 'just blood' its blood thats been congealing up your fannoir for about 8 hours....

izzybiz Tue 01-Jun-10 17:16:37

My Dh will fart in front of anyone hmm I find it quite rude and will try my hardest not too!

Obviously he has heard me at times, sometimes it cant be helped, he has watched me give birth twice, and we will wee in front of eachother, but poos and periods Id rather keep to myself thanks!

SandyisinCaldwell Tue 01-Jun-10 17:16:55

IveStillGotIt - LMAO

Thediaryofanobody Tue 01-Jun-10 17:18:26

DH and I don't let rip in front of one another, but the occasional one slips out blush we apologise and then ignore the whiff.
We are keep our bathroom habits private too. DH wont brush his teeth in front of me never mind a crap.

DeFluffy Tue 01-Jun-10 17:23:37

Was going to start a similar thread myself. I don't do the 'f' thing in front of anyone let alone DP, I would be mortified. I also don't like it if he does it in front of me.

I said to him the other night 'how am i supposed to think of you in an erotic way/get in the mood if you do that in front of me?'. I'm not uptight sexually at all, or prudish about periods/shaving legs or anything but that one thing (and weeing/pooing in front of each other) makes me feel physically sick.

It's just not sexy, I can't imagine Daniel Craig as James Bond doing it, can you? grin

OMG, I couldn't imagine not farting in front of DH, I am prolific at it for some reason (not something I am proud of.) But it doesn't bother him in the slightest and I would be offended if it did. He however is v private, always shuts the bathroom door, even when he is just having a wash or cleaning his teeth and I have only ever heard him fart once and consequently it was the most hilarious thing for me. I don't know if he just doesn't do it or does to the bathroom, he is very private though. I however am not!

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 17:32:52

bumperlicious - what do you do in other company?

minipie Tue 01-Jun-10 17:35:41

Hah. DH and I happily fart in front of each other, and actually find it quite funny (that toilet humour never quite goes away).

Luckily mine don't normally smell <angelic emoticon>.

In general I am very very relaxed about bodily functions and tbh I don't think it's particularly healthy to give my DH the impression that I am some sort of angelic being without messy aspects - he will only be disappointed one day! I'd much rather he knew the "real me" and loved/fancied me anyway.

Those who don't poo/fart in front of your DH: was he there when you gave birth? How did he react?

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 17:37:38

minipie- my DP was there, and very 'hands on'. He couldn't cut the cord though. Thats different though.

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 17:38:08

I lock the door when I go to the bathroom. Not so much for privacy but because I vant to be alone. I like to read while I poo, is peaceful - sometimes I wear my earphones as well to block out the sounds of the yelling that "I need a wee!" that happen as soon as I close the bloody door.

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 17:38:18

Ex was there, business end, when I gave birth and pretty much never wanted to have sex with me again afterwards... (despite the make up wink)

But he was a prick.

homicidalmummy Tue 01-Jun-10 17:40:22

I also don't fart in front of dh and he seems equally as restrained! If ithappens when i am asleep, it happens and I am none the wiser.
Don't wee in front of him- wouldn't go in if he was the shower and I was really desparate.

Never seen me shave legs etc and don't like him watchingme pluck eyebrows either.... Or get dead skin of feet-yuck!!

There has to be a degree of mystery.... Or illusion! Yes I am naturally beautiful and never fart!

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 17:40:27

foureleven "But he was a prick."

There's your variable!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress Tue 01-Jun-10 17:41:30

But how awful your lives will all be when you get old together and both get incontinent! Isn't it better to be comfortable with eachothers normal humanness now so you can help eachother without vomitting or going off eachother physically when you need it?

SirBoobAlot Tue 01-Jun-10 17:42:20

I never used to... I then I gave birth grin Quickly realised that all dignity had been left in the delivery suite, and now I couldn't care less. The fact that he secretly is five years old and giggles whenever either of us pass wind probably relaxes the atmosphere slightly grin

Well foureleven I just do it, it is embarrassing sometimes but we are grown ups and it is a natural process. I just can't always hold it in.

I try and let it out as noiselessly as possible, and try and talk or cough to mask the sound! What's the worst someone can think of you? 'XXXX farts' - wow, big whoop we all do it!

I think there is a balance to be had between being too open and being too shy about natural bodily functions. Really, everyone poos, everyone farts, everyone wees. We don't have to share it but we don't have to pretend it doesn't happen either. And if you can't do it in front of the person closest to you when you have to then that is a bit sad.

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 17:45:13

But it would be understandably then MrsWobble. There's no need for me to cock my leg and let rip now... I can hold it, so I will smile

PrivetDancer Tue 01-Jun-10 17:50:34

Normality - you really wouldn't buy tampons in front of your dh? I do think that's a bit extreme!

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 17:52:39

I wfeel abit strange buying them in front of him. I couldn't ask him to pick some up for me either, he'd probably come back with tena lady instead anyway...

DeFluffy Tue 01-Jun-10 17:55:09

MrsW - he was in the delivery suite with me, chased colostrum around my nipples with a syringe (don't ask), however, I would never want to go to the toilet in front of him and hate it when he does in front of me (to be precise he leaves the door open).

As for the 'wind' issue I don't think you can change how you feel about it, you either like it or don't. But, in the interests of science I will try reciting the following later:

"Yes DP is deeply attractive when he farts in front of me and the smell goes into my nose and mouth. Oh yes." grin

My DH is a very windy person, and will happily trump in front of me EVERY day. Luckily, the don't smell, and he always gives me a childish, cheeky smirk and we both burst out laughing.
Me on the otherhand, have only farted probably twice in 11 years in front of him, both accidentially - which he found hilarious and insisted on going on about it for ages afterwards blush

I was brought up in a house where farting was quite a comical thing, but I have never seen the appealm of doing it myslef infront of anyone.

I wouldnt DARE wee/poo/shave my legs/under arms/cut my toe nails/squeeze a juicy spot in front of DH. Have only just started plucking my eyebrows when he's in the room.
Similar to one other poster, up until only a couple of years ago, I would wait until DH had gone to the shop or was busy in the kitchen, pr had just visited the loo himself before I would go for a number 2!

I'm not sure my DH could get tampons either, but not because he'd be embarrassed but because he'd be so overwhelmed by the choice. I would have to give him an exact list of what I wanted. Tis a moot point now anyway as I use a mooncup (when not pg) and even I draw the line at changing that in front of him, but mainly because one wrong move and you can look like you've just killed an animal in the bathroom grin

Bless my DH though, after I'd had DD I had to get him to check my fanjo stitches as I was far too squeamish to do it myself grin, was terrified of what I would find down there! He also did perineal massage for me when pg as I was too lazy fat to do it myself.

He still fancies me, so it obviously hasn't put him off!

MintHumbug Tue 01-Jun-10 18:13:49

We don't wee or poo in front of each other. The odd fart maybe but only by accident - we both try not to.

As for periods and tampons - ick no. He moaned enough when he caught sight of me flossing (teeth)!

I also don't like him to see me in "cheating underwear" (the suck-you-in-tights that you have to pull up to your boobs to make your stomach look flat in tight dresses) - its not a good look seeing ironed out flabby bits through nylon mesh and he has only seen me without make up a few times when I've been really ill.

We have been together over 10 years and have always been like this.

HelenFF Tue 01-Jun-10 18:21:55

Would never go the loo in front of husband, but we quite happily fart in front of each other. I say 'happily' - it's fine unless it's one of his stinkers and then I get annoyed! I don't aim to do it in front of him, but if I'm in bed and don't want to pop to the loo, then yes I'll let one go. Luckily mine seem to be acceptable most of the time.

Admittedly I'm not comfortable with him hearing me go the toilet (#2) but it is v.natural, we all do it, and I should just get over it.

This reminds me of the situation at work where the blokes will quite happily announce they're 'going for a dump' and the girls all say they'll never poo at work because it's 'so disgusting'. I think they're lucky to have reliable bowels that never need emptying in the daytime, personally.

my DP is very gassy, he wasnt for the first few months but now if he needs to he will, he gets an exasperated lool and a laugh from me, its nice that he's so comfortable.

i activley try not to but if accidents happen, i just laugh and he seems to think its hilarious and will often give me a kiss for my embarassment.

toilet wise though, he will announce he needs a poo but wont do it in front of me, but peeing, yeah, he leaves the door open or will go whilst im in the shower. i wont do either.

periods/shaving are an open all areas thing though. im totally comfortable and so is he.

bleedingheart Tue 01-Jun-10 18:29:13

MintHumbug- do the two of you acknowledge when you have your period or is it never mentioned? I'm very impressed with how restrained and groomed some of you are!

I couldn't poo in front of my husband but I'm happy to let him see me floss or send him to fetch sanitary towels.

Bonsoir Tue 01-Jun-10 18:32:02

I'm always amazed by the farting threads on MN. I never fart - I never need to. So the problem of farting in front of others (which is revoltingly bad mannered IMO) doesn't arise.

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 18:41:25

You need to see a doctor Bonsoir, it isn't physically possible for you to be alive and not farting. Perhaps you do little ones that you don't notice, but I assume you eat green veg and beans etc.

AIBU to feel sorry for couples who have never known the giggling horror of the dutch oven?

MintHumbug Tue 01-Jun-10 18:43:45

bleedingheart - sometimes it is acknowledged as I tend to get period pains every month so if am curled up on the sofa he might say "are you....." (without finishing the sentence but giving a knowing sort of nod) and I nod back.
That's about as far as our in depth, bodily discussions go.

I also don't cut toe nails in front of him or pluck my eyebrows or use cotton buds in my ears or anything like that.

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 18:46:16

lol

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 18:55:24

I actually don't understand the phrase 'toilet humour'. It's an oxymoron. I would never and have never done that in front of dh and he wouldn't do it in front of me. We're fairly happy in our Victorian bubble. And defecating in your spouse's presence. I feel quite faint at the very suggestion.

rastababi Tue 01-Jun-10 19:02:26

IveStillGotIt You're my fucking hero grin

We love the whole "pull my finger thing" too.

I fart, poo, pee, shave, laugh, cry, throw up, give birth, fall over.......the list is endless, anyhoo, it's all done in front of my DH.

*Grabs DP and joins SOH in the Victorian bubble*

No I don't buy tampons in front of my DP. Nor would I buy pile cream, or thrush tablets, or anything else delicate (never actually bought either of those things but there you go) I wouldn't run and hide if he saw me buying them or make a special trip to avoid him seeing, but I'd much prefer to send him to look at DVDs grin

lovechoc Tue 01-Jun-10 19:15:49

I fart and burp in front of DH - I don't see why I should be discrete about it! DH also does same in front of me and I joke about how disgusting it is but we're human at the end of the day and it's perfectly normal to let it out.

Better out than in!!

maristella Tue 01-Jun-10 19:26:51

i must have blown my Victorian bubble away blush

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 19:32:05

And giving birth to your child with dh/p present is nothing at all like defecating in front of him. Unless you stick a hat on the turd and publish its first photograph on fb.

And I despise myself for typing the word turd.

If you find bodily functions funny you haven't been exposed to enough genuine comedy I'm afraid.

For me the crux of a new relationship is not when you first sleep together/get naked in front of him but when you first fart in his presence. That shows confidence and comfort in a budding relationship IMO.

Fortunately my fiance was a windy miller right from the off, so it was only a matter of time before I took the plunge. I must admit its not very romantic at times (especially his killer post-coital dutch ovens), but it's not a deal breaker.

We had an unfortunate epsiode recently when our drain became blocked which revealed 3ft deep of floating nastiness. Bless him, he still proposed to me a few weeks later, so romance is not dead.

Hey ho. Pull my finger . . .

The only time I announce things like that is if DD is badgering me and I have been known to scream 'Can't I just have a poo in peace?!'

DeFluffy Tue 01-Jun-10 19:46:26

what's a dutch oven?? confused

SOH - I can't believe I typed the f word, ick.

minipie Tue 01-Jun-10 19:49:22

"I fart, poo, pee, shave, laugh, cry, throw up, give birth, fall over.......the list is endless, anyhoo, it's all done in front of my DH."

That's us.

I'd be really worried if I were one of these "maintain the mystery" women. What will happen when if the mystery wears off?

Me, I prefer to know that my DH loves and fancies me even if I do fart etc in front of him. Clearly he finds me very attractive. Or he has a fart fetish... grin

TottWriter Tue 01-Jun-10 19:51:48

DP and I fart in front of each other. The ice (so to speak) we well and truly broken when I was pg with DS and cleared our bedroom for a considerable time, just as we had been about to go to bed. Sadly I've never lived it down, despite blaming it on DS and his unfortunate habit of kicking me in the colon whilst a foetus.

I can't say I'd be completely happy to go to the loo in front of DP, though he has walked in on me when I've been sat on the toilet. I think he's more squeamish about that than me though, because as I've pointed out to him, when I'm sat on the loo, there's nothing to see. My legs are together or my clothes cover all. (Less so atm, as I'm heavily preggers, but still.) The only time he's seen me poo was when I gave birth. And he still brings it up if he wants to make me squirm.

I have sent DP out to buy tampons for me in the past, too. He whinges a little, but if he's the one doing the shopping when I need them, he's the one buying them. As long as you tell someone brand and variety, how can they go wrong? It's just the same as going out to buy anything else. Plus, periods happen, though DP does at times make a point of calling them 'unpleasantness' in a tongue-in-cheek way.

A dutch oven is when you let rip a juicy fart in bed and pull the covers over yourself/DP to inhale, or tuck bedclothes under your chin so the odour lingers for longer, and can be released in stages to be enjoyed at your leisure.

Sorry but you asked!

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 20:00:20

I don't not do it to retain mystery. It's not mysterious is it? He knows I'm human, he knows I function like one. He just doesn't need or deserve to share in it. I'm sure he doesn't sit around wondering what mysterious things my arse does when I'm in a bathroom. Does it produce balloons? Or flowers? Or sing? No, he's of reasonable intelligence, he can work it out. I don't need to show him any more than I need to believe him deluded.

I don't burp though. Never have.

DeFluffy Tue 01-Jun-10 20:03:37

Maltesers grin grin

lovechoc Tue 01-Jun-10 20:04:58

lol - don't burp! that's just like someone saying they don't fart...I think if that's the case you need to see a doctor. All these functions are perfectly normal and it's even more normal to do it in front of others. There's a slight falseness there if you are unable to be yourself in front of your loved one.

DH and myself have been farting and burping and crapping in front of each other for years now. Oh dear should I have said all that - how absolutely disgusting and revolting!shock

DS also sees me on the toilet on a regular basis, he sees DH on the toilet on a regular basis - we're a 'leave the doors open' kind of family.

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 20:11:47

Well, you see I don't judge you for your choices. It doesn't mean that you're more open or share more or more connected or anything. It means you do things differently. Nowt to do with falseness. Why should I do something in front of dh I am not comfortable with to satisfy your notion of honesty?

And I don't burp. You can laugh all you like. I don't. And I've made it to 29 without doing so. I don't choose not to. I just don't.

BeatrixRotter Tue 01-Jun-10 20:21:17

Unfortunately I burst the fart bubble fairly early on by letting one go discreetly in the middle of the night when DP had gone to the loo. Except it was the loudest fart I'd ever done and he heard it from the other side of the house.

We don't hold back now.

TottWriter Tue 01-Jun-10 20:25:31

Oh, burping. I try not to burp too dramatically in front of DP. That's because of the stories my Dad and sister have told him about my unladylike habit of producing utter drainpipes on demand blush. My mother was and is an utter prude about belching, so we used to save it for my Dad's house, and things got a bit ridiculous (think competitions). But I don't do that in front of DP. Farts and burps which you can't help are one thing, but doing it on purpose isn't really something he would find funny.

Schulte Tue 01-Jun-10 20:31:11

I am a big fan of keeping a bit of privacy - even DD1, now she is 3 I don't want her in the bathroom when I am on the loo, let alone DH. I always swore I'd never wash my second DH's underwear and socks after getting divorced once because I think it doesn't exactly help with finding a man sexy when you have to deal with their dirty underwear, but unfortunately I am in charge of all the washing in this house. And I don't like listening to him on the loo either but the only bathroom in our house is en-suite so I have to sometimes! We haven't had sex in ages blush

tyler80 Tue 01-Jun-10 20:39:27

If it's not funny why do even toddlers smile when they let one go, it's instinctive!

(Suppose you could use the argument that toddlers haven't seen enough decent comedy...)

MrsC2010 Tue 01-Jun-10 20:40:08

I don't, but I don't in front of anyone. Neither do I burp etc, and there is no way I would have him in the bathroom while I'm on the loo.

God I'm obviously very uptight! smile

mizu Tue 01-Jun-10 20:41:00

We do everything in front of each other, I come from a windy family and if i don't let it out I get terrible tummy ache, my sis is the same. Can't imagine not trumpeting in front of anyone in my family, me and DH still find it funny when we do massive farts grin

lovechoc Tue 01-Jun-10 20:45:39

this thread has been a real eye opener as to how so many others are uptight about natural bodily functions. Nice to see a few others like myself though - very relaxed with bodily functions. It's all part of being human.

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 20:47:17

DD finds funny shaped potatoes, laugh out loud, guffaw funny. It's no reflection of a normal, adult, non-potato-fetishist, reaction to a lumpy spud. Today she laughed for 10 minutes at a blue light.

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 20:50:48

But it's human to choose the behaviours you wish to display. I wouldn't sing in public or wear a bikini on a beach. Doesn't mean I'm ashamed of my voice or my body, means I choose to conduct myself differently to a woman in a two piece singing Elton John's greats. Thank God we're not all the same.

lovechoc Tue 01-Jun-10 20:55:06

singing in public is a voluntary act, as is wearing a bikini. farting and crapping is something you have no control over, your body will initiate it when it needs to regardless of who is around you at the time. If you try to prevent it, you end up doing more harm than good over a prolonged period of time.

Schulte Tue 01-Jun-10 20:56:20

LOL SOH grin How old is your DD?

Also still ROFLing about Bonsoir's post grin

And I refuse to think of myself as uptight, I quite happily prance about on the (German) beach naked and I sing in public.

Schulte Tue 01-Jun-10 20:57:08

Okay lovechoc so if you needed one in a job interview, then you'd just fart away would you?

MrsC2010 Tue 01-Jun-10 20:57:50

I'm not stupid. Of course I would never 'endanger' my health (let's not get hysterical here) but I don't conduct private bodily finctions in front of others. Because that is how I see them, private. I don't judge others who choose not to, but equally I expect not to be judged or patronised because I choose to keep some stuff private.

lovechoc Tue 01-Jun-10 20:59:41

obviously there are situations (like job interviews) where you would try and control your bowel habits but the majority of the time it's normal to let it all out.

Dinkytinky Tue 01-Jun-10 21:00:53

I never ever ever fart infront of DP or anyone else, I can do it silently mwahahahaha

SandyisinCaldwell Tue 01-Jun-10 21:01:50

is it unreasonable to say that this thread is making me laugh out loud - some of the comments are so funny grin

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 21:08:16

If crapping is something you have no control over then you're a v precocious 2yr old with excellent typing skills or you must get through a lot of knickers. grin

My dd is 3. The blue light was funny because it was a motion sensor light. She was trying to fool it. She's not completely odd.

BallpointPen Tue 01-Jun-10 21:17:18

I am bemused how the 'holders in' manage to have sex with their partners, if they can't bear to admit to normal bodily functions how can they manage to relax enough to enjoy themselves? Unless that is they're having twice yearly, lights off, under the covers, eyes closed sex whilst pretending they're not really having to touch or be touched.

It must be tense in your households.

HobbitMama Tue 01-Jun-10 21:19:22

no, SiiC, 5'm practically crying with laughter here at some of these comments - as is my DH.
We've only been together 3 1/2 years, our first ds is 15mths, and we all fart and burp together, including my DC's 11 and 7, and have a good laugh about it. Of course they understand not to do this around Grandma's table, or whilst talking to the Headteacher, but if they can't relax at home and not worry about standing on ceremony, then when can they? (Obviously, this does NOT apply for the dinner table - there are limits!)
Yes, we're a windy family, especially when I'm pg, as now, and we're quite comfortable with weeing/pooing in front of each other, if it's a necessity, but I think I too would draw the line at changing tampons/shaving/plucking etc. But buying them? God, if my DH was that much a prude offended by it, I'd be really worried about getting through urinal and fecal incontinence old age together!

MrsC2010 Tue 01-Jun-10 21:25:14

That's very rude/presumptious BallpointPen not to mention patronising. Again, I just see farting etc as a private bodily function, like going to the loo. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be doors on public cubicles would there!

And besides, at 32 wks PG I'd say that our sex life was pretty good. grin

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 21:26:33

Because passing wind, defecating etc is exactly the same as having sex. hmm

And why can't you grasp that it's not an indication of an uptight, tense, prudish household in general? And there are many people admitting that they're not comfortable with it.

I live in the most lentil-weavery house. No rules really, v hippyish, pinko leftie liberal. It's just a choice. And a valid one. Might not be your choice, but doesn't mean you can presume to know anything about me beyond the very fact that I don't do certain things in front of dh.

Magdelena Tue 01-Jun-10 21:28:53

I have heard my parents accidently break wind, but we were brought up to not do it in front of people.

DH and I do not, obviously accidents happen but actually it's not that hard to do it in private.

It is dreadfully common and uncouth to do so IMO and to talk about it is also in poor taste.

Incidently we are not uptight sexually and DH was with me as I gave birth and was not a bit put off by anything!

With the children, windy pops blush are seen as humourous as toddlers but we also teach them to do it in private when they get older.

tyler80 Tue 01-Jun-10 21:29:38

..and what about queefs?

Cyclops Tue 01-Jun-10 21:30:01

Whether in church or chapel, let it rattle

RumourOfAHurricane Tue 01-Jun-10 21:40:33

Message withdrawn

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 21:42:39

Cyclops, are you talking about collection plates?

shiney. You, me and defluff are the last bastions against beastliness.

RumourOfAHurricane Tue 01-Jun-10 21:43:45

Message withdrawn

mumofthreesweeties Tue 01-Jun-10 21:45:54

wow really dont know how you manage. I've pooed in front of DH and farting well..........lets say I dont hold anything in; and neither does he

ShowOfHands Tue 01-Jun-10 21:49:27

Sigmund tells me their retentions and fixations are all out of kilter.

Otterlybotterly Tue 01-Jun-10 21:51:46

I'm with lovechoc - staggered that so many women 'hold back' in front of their men, as though they're in a lift full of strangers. Me & DP do the whole farting/burping thing, not because we're into toilet humour (OK, so we do 'pull my finger' and dutch ovens, but not all the time), but because we're as relaxed with each other as we are on our own. I wouldn't hold in a fart if I were alone in the house - so why on earth would I if the person who is (without wanting to sound soppy) the other half of me is present?

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 21:53:24

This has moved fast... trying to catch up!

The sex - farting link. I would think that it could only have a good impact on your sexlife if your discreet. Can't imagine being turned on after having a conversation whilst sat on the loo in front of each other (unless your into that kind of thing, but thats probably for another thread hmm)

Not sure I even want to ask what a queef is?! confused

Magdelena Tue 01-Jun-10 21:55:10

hmm it's odd that you all seem so flatulant.

I eat a high fibre diet and have no outbreaks of wind really.

I don't need to hold them in, the occur naturally during bathroom trips grin

Honestly if DH broke wind and laughed about it I would find him very unnattractive.

Just talking about it on this thread makes me feel a bit queasy.

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 21:57:58

I was thinking that Magdelena. I don't ever notice myself 'holding it in'.

Talk of 'juicy ones' made me want to be a little bit sick.

Cyclops Tue 01-Jun-10 22:02:04

Wind

Where're you be
Let your wind go free
In church or Chapel
Let it rattle.

Arthur Jeffrey Hodgkinson (1915-1986)

Magdelena Tue 01-Jun-10 22:05:36

It is the real class distinction irrespective of wealth or background.

You 'farting' types are just so ....

<whispers> common.

wink

Antidote Tue 01-Jun-10 22:06:24

OK, well no hiding any bodily functions here at Antidote Towers with our en-suite without a door (inherited from the previous owners, but the mystery was long gone before we moved here!)

However I am very prudish about no teeth cleaning except in the bathroom, probably because the smell of toothpaste makes me retch.

I do remember a girl at Uni who claimed never to fart or poo, and then got incredibly drunk and was discovered having had a crap in a suitcase in a cupboard at a party! Bunch of degenerate medical students thought this was pricelessly funny and she was never allowed to forget it.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Tue 01-Jun-10 22:10:01

In 24 years I have never pooed or farted.

DeFluffy Tue 01-Jun-10 22:47:37

i don't get the link between prudish sex and not being windy in front of your partner. My sex life would make you blush (not right now I have a 5 month old baby) but the rest of the time, well, even Reality thinks I'm out there (disclaimer - possibly, I've never actually asked her) grin. My very dear friend has been an 'escort' at times so I don't think I'm prudish at all.

No problems with dp buying tampax for me, he does it all the time. We also have sex during these times (tmi sorry), not actually in the shop obviously.

How is that in anyway related to the fact that I wouldn't find him attractive if he did that in front of me and certainly wouldn't do it in front of him? If it's so sexy why don't Daniel Craig/Robert P do it in bond or twilight??

Magdelena Tue 01-Jun-10 22:59:29

defluffy says it perfectly!

MintHumbug Tue 01-Jun-10 23:05:12

I agree - its more like first love, passionate, and new sex if he hasn't just recently witnessed you wiping your bum or waxing your toes (not that I have hairy toes - no no no)!

There is a lot to be said for being comfortable together but a lot to be said for making an effort too.
And anyway with us its not keeping up a weird mystique its just that neither of us are comfortable doing necessary but ick things in front of one another. Sex doesn't fall into the ick category no matter what you're doing wink

We have an extremely active and healthy sex life grin I'm also something of a naturist and like walking about with no clothes on. And he's not a prude as has been mentioned, he wouldn't bat an eyelid if I asked him to buy tampons and would get the right ones. We can happily talk about farting or bodily functions or anything at all. I personally choose to keep my private area bodily functions private - so toilet habits including farts and periods - that is all. It's really not indicative of much!

BritFish Tue 01-Jun-10 23:14:49

i know this is late in, but im not ashamed of my periods. i send DH out to buy sanitary towels and various creams, drugs etc. but he doesnt need to see my period blood. i dont like looking at it, its not a nice sight, i dont see any point in subjecting DH to it either.
i draw the line at pooing and weeing in front of each other just because i like those minutes alone to sit and ponder the questions of the universe grin
but shaving, done [and i have mildly hairy toes!]

its not keeping up a mystique, its just that i wouldnt do it in front of my kids or my mother, so i dont see why DH needs to be around when i change a sanitary towel or am attacked to the loo for several hours after a heavy night out.
[not puke, he's seen me puke and we are both squeamish when it comes to vomit]

2rebecca Tue 01-Jun-10 23:56:53

I don't intentionally fart in front of anyone. If I need to go I go to the bathroom, but am generally not that farty. Husband not into public farting either and says "pardon" if he burps or farts inadvertantly. It's just good manners isn't it?
Toilet humour is for toddlers.
If a bloke deliberately farted in front of me whilst dating (or made no attempt not to fart which is the same thing) that would be a big turn off. Not surprisingly none of my boyfriends have been frequent farters.

Greensleeves Wed 02-Jun-10 00:00:18

shockshock

honestly guys, you MUST fart

better an empty house than an angry tenant

2rebecca Wed 02-Jun-10 00:01:56

Do those of you with no anal tone (or no control over whether you fart or poo = same thing) fart at work, in front of colleagues and customers? To me farting and defaecating are private things you try and keep to yourself. I don't get the "I fart because I'm liberated and sexy" argument. A farty bloke would get no bedroom action from me.

pingviner Wed 02-Jun-10 00:30:53

what are you afraid of? That he will sprint screaming from the house at the slightest suggestion that you have bowels? hmm
a la this

'inter urinas et faeces nascimur'

Yeah, I'm terrified that my lovely, enlightened partner of ten years will leave me if he realises I have bowels shock

I'm not afraid, I keep these things to myself to appease my OWN sensibilities and not those of others. I make me own decisions about my own body, what it does and where therefore I must be a disempowered prude hmm

Think that one through again.

whatname Wed 02-Jun-10 00:51:34

nope, don't do it in front of anyone, makes me feel sick if anyone does it to me, was always taught not to do it in public. Have never heard any member of my family do it either, except when it really can't be helped. Although we are led to believe from my niece that my brother does it a lot!

pingviner Wed 02-Jun-10 01:01:03

ye gods Normality! you can bite you know grin

I think you might have misunderstood my point a bit though, twas never a personal attack on you or your habits : I just read the OP and liked the image of her chap running for the door...

just pointing out that this is the same boring old dichotomy for women as everything else....

MrsC2010 Wed 02-Jun-10 09:33:02

I don't see any feminist dichotomy here, just a personal choice about whether to carry out private bodily functions in public. I wouldn't in front of anyone, not just DH. Similarly eh wouldn't in front of me.

biddysmama Wed 02-Jun-10 09:34:38

i would have been able to keep up ther pretence all the way up to becoming pregnant grin now he knows i fart lol

KodakTheBat Wed 02-Jun-10 09:42:12

Those that say it's a good thing to be able to do it in front of your DP - Why do you not do it in job interviews/at work? If it's a normal bodily function thats better out than in, why hold it in other situations? Because people would think your rude, disgusting? Is it ok for you DP's to think of you like that?

pulpfiction Wed 02-Jun-10 10:03:03

What's a dutch oven?

Morloth Wed 02-Jun-10 10:26:40

If you don't burp in front of each other - how can you tell who can get the furthest into the alphabet?

Morloth Wed 02-Jun-10 10:29:53

pulpfiction a dutch oven is when you do a fart in bed and then pull the covers over you and your DP's head so that they have to smell it.

It is all class here in Casa Morloth I tell you.

I don't fart in front of other people, but I will in front of DP/DS's. I did fart once in front of my SIL, I was way overdue with DS2 and was coughing and just lost control and was mortified then. It is different with DH and the kids.

giveittomebabylikeboomboomboom Wed 02-Jun-10 10:40:06

DH farts every morning in front of me. Loudly. And even after 17 years together it still makes me laugh. grin

I don't know why I find farts so funny, but I do.

giveittomebabylikeboomboomboom Wed 02-Jun-10 10:41:23

Would like to add that I still find DH VERY sexually attractive.

EmmyVonN Wed 02-Jun-10 10:43:01

SoH, you're very funny. And you're right.

I love a good poo joke and dh and ds and I do giggle at farts. But it is about choice and sharing or not sharing doesn't necessarily mean hang ups. I'd happily describe my poos if dh went sadean and wanted to know. But I wouldn't want him in there with me. It's my 'me time' grin

alexisfaith Wed 02-Jun-10 10:52:05

I don't do it in front of DH simply because I don't do it at all. I have never, in my entire life, 'released wind' or even burped! Seriously! I'm not holding it in, it just doesn't happen. I think I might have a condition.

I did however travel in the tropics with DH when we were first together. I got very, very ill with sickness and diarrhoea after my cocktail was, a friend later told us, watered down with tap water. Cue 48hrs of putrid, watery, flowing fluids from me. DH held back my hair, tried not to vomit at the smell, and rubbed my back. Then we had to board a 16hr flight home. To the horror, I'm sure, of fellow passengers, I spent the duration in the toilet. Probably stank the plane out. DH stood on the other side of the door trying to keep me from weeping, passing me drinks, and making me laugh.

Bodily functions happen! In short, YABU. Let it go!

textpest Wed 02-Jun-10 11:02:38

I don't (that often) fart in front of DP as he makes a massive fuss about it despite being quite free with it himself. I don't go to the toilet in front of him either (my preference) but he has no problems going in front of me at all.....within 2 months of us getting together he had walked in to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet (by my head) while I was in the bath.

diddl Wed 02-Jun-10 11:17:10

It´s not a thing we do deliberately.

But I`ve got a really bad cold at the moment & when I blow my nose, I´m farting.blush

Can´t keep it in if it´s there!grin

Jamiki Wed 02-Jun-10 11:20:48

No, I don't, theres been one or two quick sneaky ones that have just popped out but as a rule I don't.

CheekyPinkSox Wed 02-Jun-10 11:54:58

Me and DH do it to see who can be the loudest blush

theres nothing wrong with letting off wind infront of your partner, unless you have only just met lol

ShowOfHands Wed 02-Jun-10 13:35:16

There's nothing wrong with doing it if both parties are happy and there's nothing wrong with abstaining as long as both parties are happy. DH and I both choose not to display flatulent tendencies when in each other's presence. I don't do it because of some patriarchal pressure that deems my arse must only emit blossom scents and spring tones on demand. He doesn't abstain from it because he's afraid my delicate feminine sensibilities will combust if he emits any noise or smell from his bottom. We operate the way we do because we thankfully live in a house where doing what makes us happy and/or comfortable is permitted.

And I too have had (as had dh a few days beforehand), terrible norovirus where I couldn't do anything but sit on the loo with a bucket between my knees until I was empty. Did DH run from the building screaming? No. He mopped my brow, brought drinks, checked up on me, emptied the bucket regularly, comforted me and did everything you would expect of a partner who sees his wife in pain and unhappy. Similarly he did not leave my side during a 28hr and very traumatic and difficult labour.

It is not prudish to behave differently. It is however very reductive and presumptuous to assume anything about somebody from such a small and personal choice.

twopeople Wed 02-Jun-10 14:12:23

Message withdrawn

twopeople Wed 02-Jun-10 14:14:01

Message withdrawn

lovechoc Wed 02-Jun-10 14:45:24

otterlybotterly thank heavens there's another female in this thread who sees my POV too!!!! thought I was the only one besides ballpointpen - have just noticed this poster also has similar views.

ladybelle Thu 03-Jun-10 16:04:00

poo is a private matter, neither of us poo in front of the other one,but he suffers with a lot of excess gas and rattles them off almost constantly, he is very laid back about it and it doesnt bother him. On the other hand, if i let one slip out he makes a big thing of it, so i usually try to hold them in till he goes to work or i dash upstairs or turn the stereo up.wink

Saladbomb Thu 03-Jun-10 16:07:37

farting and peeing in front of OH are OK but I draw the line at no.2. Actually its more my OH that draws the line, it wouldn't really bother me. :D I once got in a bit of a tizz with my mooncup and had to get him to take it out (hadnt quite figured out the pelvic floor at that point) Not much mystique left after that!!

That said, I dont really like depilating in front of him tho. Which I guess is quite strange!

haoshiji Thu 03-Jun-10 16:36:46

Farting and toileting are part of life, no mystique about doing it out of site or earshot?! DH and I have crossed paths on both but it's not like we set out to do it for fun or something... Although farts that sound like a duck in a breadbin can be quite amusing. shock

Good god if you have time to worry about it then you need to get out more.

Where does this oddness to maintain 'standards' come from? Does everyone live in a manner house and act like the queen?

DH farted down the aisle in Tesco once when bending down to pick up a Cadbury flake he dropped, at first I was deeply embarrassed as the woman stacking the shelves looked aghast but then couldn't stop laughing.

Pinktights Thu 03-Jun-10 16:59:15

Let it all out!!!!

If he doesn't love you any more because of a mere gasball, then it can't have been real love anyway!

chenge Fri 04-Jun-10 10:51:54

NO WAY will i make a poo in front of my husband,and he would't either,i was shy to wee in front of him until i became pregnant,coz this led me to peeing very 5minutes and i seriouly wouldn't ask my DH who would be taking a shower to get out so i can pee,and when i went to have my baby,i was 2 weeks overdue so he was there when the nurses were going in down there,i however had to tell him to not look coz i was so embarrassed having 4 people watching and going inside my vjj,,

he is a farter,and his twin is one too,they compete to see who does it loudest but im the go to the toilet kind of person and i want my children to not fart in front of other people,,too long,sorry

chenge Fri 04-Jun-10 10:56:11

however some of the farts are so unexpected when he does them that i have to laugh,now our two months old baby does them,,my husband couldn't be more proud,,

startingagainafter14years Wed 09-Jun-10 20:58:31

I've never farted "out loud" but I do do "silent but violent".... I greatly enjoy seeing DH or DD's face when the silent, toxic smell finally reaches their nostrils!! HILARIOUS!

foodista Fri 11-Jun-10 11:58:14

My sis does the stinkiest farts EVER. Her ex used to do the loudest farts ever, so she'd wait until he dropped one under the duvet and then let one of her "silent but violents" slip out and blame the smell on his explosive efforts.

He must have wondered why he stopped smelling so terrible after they parted company...

secunda Fri 11-Jun-10 15:06:48

I don't do any of the aforementioned in front of DP. We do have sex on my period, though. I do sort of fart in front of him, but they never smell (honest) and are always silent, so he doesn't know. He has accidentally done a couple of little parps in front of me, which I find quite endearing but he gets embarrassed.

When we have our first, I'm seriously considering not letting him in the delivery suite during the actual birth, or at least not at the business end, in case it puts him off me.

FranSanDisco Fri 11-Jun-10 15:13:43

Dh is disgusted that I fart in front of him but feels it's OK to fart in front of me hmm. Mine smell of flowers and his of rotten eggs grin

Mystique ??? PMSL. Human beings fart and shit.

If I couldn't fart openly in my own home I think I'd go crazy!

I think it's really odd when people have hangups about it in front of each other, but each to their own!

Jaquelinehyde Fri 11-Jun-10 15:26:38

I don't pass wind in front of DP and I have told him I don't poo grin He obviously knows that I do...trust me he has been in the bathroom after me a few times where he could be in no doubt grin

AuntieMaggie Fri 11-Jun-10 15:34:10

OMG seriously? Yes I 'pass wind' in front of my DP - I try not to do most of the other things though (apart from my make up) although he was rather lovely the other week when AF descended rather heavily in the middle of the night and I didn't realise I had stained the sheets - he just stripped the bed and washed it the only reason I now know is because I told him I'd do the washing as my PJs weren't very nice. He wasn't bothered by it. However the sight of unused sanitary items seem to send him running for the hills.....

As for the windy business - there have been times where I would have lived in the bathroom if I didn't in front of him and tbh I think that feeling comfortable enough with him to do that says a lot as I haven't with any other BF in the past.

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