Concerned about SIL/DD

[victoriascrumptious]

My dd (now 23m) was childminded by my SIL who is a childcare professional for about 12hrs a week while I was in work (SIL was paid the going rate for this) DD stopped going there about 4 months ago as I stopped working. I had no particular concerns while dd was there other than SIL not taking dd to mother and toddlers as specifically agreed at the start of the arrangment and on one occasion (as I have since discovered) lieing about taking her.

Whenever I picked dd up from SIL's in the past dd was a bit whingy but she gets like that towards the end of the day so I thought nothing of it at the time.

Now whenever we visit SIL my dd barely makes eyecontact with her and hardly talks at all while she is there (she talks nine to the dozen usually and is quite happy talking to other adults). She is also very clingy.

AIBU to be worried about what went on there or am I over reacting?

[LIZS]

You're being oversensitive - toddlers are pretty fickle, 4 months is a long time in their world and you don't know how she was on a one to one basis. Now you are always there to intervene and looking for thinsg which may not be there.

[victoriascrumptious]

I hope you're right LIZS-maybe pfb syndrome

[colditz]

She thinks you are going to vanish off to work again, that's all.

[Veteran]

I think you're probably over reacting.

My DS has an irrational 'hatred' of his fabulous uncle, no reason for it, doesn't stop him running off screaming as soon as he sees him though.

Unless your SIL has given you other reasons to be concerned I'd leave it.

[compo]

She's probably clingy because she worries you might be going to go to work and she'd rather be with you iyswim

[larks35]

I think (and hope) you are over-reacting. Your DD is still very young and babies of that age can be offish with people for no apparant reason (though it is unusual with a family member she is more than used to). My DS (17mo) has been known to cry when I pick him up from CM , cos he wants to stay there . However, after I've had a week off with him, he then cries when I leave him at CM. Maybe her and SIL don't "click" and maybe she didn't like being away from you when with her and now gets worried that when she sees her it means you're going and hence the clinginess.