or rather, WIBU when I commented on this

[SilveryMoon]

This is a fb status posted by a friend of mine.

Oh dear!!! Get up to find (ds) has taken all my wet washing out the machine, in the draw part he has crumbled bread and cracked eggs as washing powder, climbed up on the side to get a sharp knife to cut the lid off the glue as comfort!!

Now I think this is quite shocking and said so.
I was met by comments from other people saying their dc's had done similar, others saying about how clever this boy is, comments about how they are just copying parents and have vivid imaginations and so on.

I said that this could have turned into quite a nasty accidents and that I felt that as parents, it's our job to assess all risks in our homes to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen.
I mean, sharp knives?
She later said he'd dragged a chair over to the counter, climbed up and took the knife out of the block.
Now IMO, if your 3 year old is capable of this kind of thing, you shouldn't have a knife block on the counter or not allow them to have access to the room.

AIBU to think this is quite bad?

[biddysmama]

i have no idea what to say to that!

why was a 3 year old able to do that?

[DuelingFanjo]

I would have commented on the fact she can't spell drawer properly!

[FairhairedandFrustrated]

Yeah, it's bad....but imo it's worse for you to repeat it here and if she reads it she'll know it was you.

I hate people who put shit like that as their status, did she expect everyone to say oh wow, well done?

[aSilverLining]

She has got up and he has done this? Was there another adult (dad?) up with him but not watching him or was he pottering about left to his own devices?

I wouldn't have commented as you had, would feel it was fairly obvious that it could have ended in an accident.

[aSilverLining]

I wouldn't have posted it as my status either, would be too horrified to admit it in a public forum.

[SilveryMoon]

This is what she said on a later comment

It's not like I left it lying around!!! FFS!!! He got the kitchen chair pulled it over to the side climbed up and on to the kitchen side and got it from the knife block!! That's what he was in trouble for!! And b4 any 1 says I should have been watching him I was in the toilet if that's ok, x

Wtf? Was she in bed or on the toilet?

I said that I didn't think she could/should watch the children 24 hours a day, but certain things need to be thought of before there is an opportunity for a child to do harm to themselves or others.

I can't stop thinking about it.

[SilveryMoon]

I don't think that she is a member on here so won't see this thread, and if she does, I'll deal with that then.

because of the comments from others that followed, i just wanted to find out if I was being OTT or if these other people are a bit deluded

[GhostInTheBackOfYourHead]

OK, I think you have a point.

However if you reply going on about risks they'll think you are a plonker (by the sound of their posts, that's the vibe I'm getting.)

A succinct "FFS, three year old and knives are a fucking lethal combination"
and leave it at that.

Unless, of course I have read it completely wrong and they're all the kind of people who congregate in Hackney knocked through living rooms to watch their toddlers cut up tomatoes with enormous knives .

[FairhairedandFrustrated]

Some people are just plain stupid. Simple as that.

Even if that had have happened to me.....I would have been so mortified that ds had got his hands on a knife, I wouldn't have told anybody - and would have moved the knife block into a cupboard!!

[DramaInPyjamas]

I personally wouldn't have commented on it, but am quite shocked.

(I also hate the use of the word draw instead of drawer!)

[PrettyCandles]

" if your 3 year old is capable of this kind of thing, you shouldn't have a knife block on the counter or not allow them to have access to the room."

I agree. Yet OTOH even though there is a stairgate acrossthe entrance to our kitchen, if ds2 was minded to do so he could climb from a chair onto the breakfast bar and go along it to the knife block.

Unless you live in a fortress, most child-proofing is a token gesture that depends partly on the co-operation of your dc. Think how families with ASD dc have to childproof with keylocks, as their dc struggle to learn cooperation.

So I think it's a fair enough comment, but possibly one better kept to yourself.

[SilveryMoon]

Ghosts Yeah, they probably do think I'm a bit of a plonker, but I just couldn't not say anything
Maybe I should have just left it.

Someone came on and asked where this magical place called out of reach is?
Well, a cupboard with a latch on is 1, another would be some kind of stair gate across the kitchen and so on. Not rocket science is it.

[CoupleofKooks]

i am presuming that she didn't know he could pull the chair to the counter and climb on it

it's not the kind of thing you expect your child to do, and i don't think she is unreasonable to have knives in her kitchen and then go to the toilet

sounds like he was left unsupervised for a while to have got up to all that mischief, though - i think that is the problem, rather than the fact that she should have guessed he would climb up and grab a knife

[GhostInTheBackOfYourHead]

SilveryMoon I really wouldn't worry about them thinking you're a plonker. I mean, they're hardly on the ball, are they?

[SilveryMoon]

PC I see your point.
Don't get me wrong, my house is not a fortress or anything, but I think i have thought of most serious dangers and done all in my power to control outcomes iyswim.

I also have a knife block on my kitchen counter. Ds1 isn't tall enough to reach, and he hasn't figured out how to open it yet, but when he does, I will re-think what and how i place things in my kitchen

[wannaBe]

I wouldn't have put it on my fb status. But commenting on it like that sounds really judgy tbh. Nothing wrong with judging necessarily, but on what is essentially a public platform (because fb is pretty public really given all her friends and family are presumably on there) your comments would seem smug and condescending.

And sometimes children do do things we didn't know/expect they could. I remember once someone sent me flowers for my birthday (I think ds was about two then), they were in a box from m&s, and ds came running over and said "here's a knife to open them with mummy" and presented me with a sharp knife I'd had no idea he could reach.

You may all judge me now. but seriously, I don't imagine she'll be leaving the knives in reach again.

[SilveryMoon]

I'm pretty sure she has told me in the past that he can climb up there........don't know though.

[SilveryMoon]

wannaBe I really am not smug, but I may have come across like that.
But tbh, I do have a bit of a problem about the lack of discipline there.
There is never any action when he hits/kicks/pushes etc.
She once said to me after he was climbing on a high metal railing "I'd tell him off but I can't be bothered"
Another time, this boy pushed his little brother to the floor and she just shrugged, didn't say anything at all.

Now I'm getting into a whole different conversation

[wannaBe]

I think the question here is, would you make these comments to her face if she'd told this story in a group of friends rather than on her news feed? If so then fair enough really.

I think there's often a risk that people are prepared to put things in writing that they wouldn't say in person. Personally I wouldn't write something down I wouldn't say to the individual, but maybe that's just me.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Hmm- well, I have a knife block, and a climbing, chair-dragging 2.6yo son. He's never done this, I hasten to add, and I hadn't really considered that he might, tbh.

But I hate FB (see my thread!), so I would have only told this type of thing to friends who I knew wouldn't judge (or who wouldn't be brave enough to tell me off to my face )

In the end, I think YWNBU, as putting it on FB is inviting comment. If it had been a friend I wanted to keep as a friend, though, I would have said nothing!

[SilveryMoon]

WannaBe I'd have said the same thing in person over this. I have held my tongue pretty much over other stuff like her not telling him off for hitting etc.
I'll be seeing her monday anyway, so we'll see what happens.

Jooly Yes, if it had been a closer frind i would have had a face to face chat, but I still would have said the same thing, I just might have been a bit more tactful, but i would have still used the word shocking

[MrsGravy]

"I also have a knife block on my kitchen counter. Ds1 isn't tall enough to reach, and he hasn't figured out how to open it yet, but when he does, I will re-think what and how i place things in my kitchen"

Maybe she was waiting for that moment but he managed it before she anticipated it??

I didn't anticipate my 3yo DD turning the keys in my front door and ushering my 1yo out - I thought they were too tough to turn so I left them in the lock. Luckily I caught her before he got out the door! Needless to say they are now hanging on a nail fixed so high up the wall I can only just reach them myself!!

You can't anticipate every single danger unfortunately so I wouldn't have commented. Sounds like you have other issues with her and without anyone on facebook knowing the context you will just come across as a smug know-it-all...

[SilveryMoon]

MrsGravy Probably so.
It looks like I left a word or two out of that post you quoted from.
I have a stair gate across my kitchen.

I probably did sound really smug and that I was on my high-horse, but I think the shock factor took over.
Maybe I could have at least phoned her, but to see these comments from others saying it's just one of those things, I just had to say something

[Lauriefairycake]

I think you overreacted. I have never met anyone who can keep their eye on their children 24 hours a day.

Any chance you only have one very young child?

I've known fantastic parents who have left their baby in their car seat outside their house and driven to the childminder without him. I've known one mum who dozed off on the sofa only to wake and find her ds had cut the carpet into ribbons. One dad who popped to get something from the car and their 18month old got out and went for a wander up the street.

And I myself got out the house when I was 2 and walked 2 miles towards the town centre across a park before my mum and dad found me.

Stuff happens even in non-neglectful families. Children can be very persistent at finding a way to do what they want to do.

[mumbar]

Its a hard one my DS has done some interesting RL imitations in the past but never ones quite as dangerous!

I would be slightly concerned tho because it must have taken him about 25 minutes so would wonder what mum/dad was doing in that time.

But then again if she - as we all do - learns that at that age you need several eyes in all directions then I guess no harm was done. Perhaps she's using fb as we use mn to gauge peoples reactions?