to think this suggests DP dosent trust me?

[BextheBambi]

Last night myself and DP had one of those conversations that lead into an argument.

I simply said do you ever regret going through with keeping the baby, even if it would have made us more financially stable? I didnt mean anything by it, i definatley dont regret keeping this baby cos in someways i think its brought us both closer together.

however, i think he took it the wrong way because he got really upset about it, i said i was sorry and i didnt mean to upd#set him or make him think i didnt want to be in this situation. however the next words out of his mouth were, and i believe this is verbatem, "I regret trapping you into this, i think you wouldn't still be with me if we weren't having a baby and you'd probably have found someone else"

This both took me by shock and upset me..alot. I told him that he clearly didnt trust me if he thought i would have just run off, he assured me he does trust me. which left me feeling very confused because to me trusting someone is knowing that whatever the situation you can rely on them to be there.

I love him no matter what he does, proven very well in the past, we've been talking about finally tying the knot. However, i wanted to post pone it till after the baby is born when we can get back on our feet financially and when his promotion comes into effect. I cant help wondering wether this is the reason he thinks i dont want to be here?

Am i being a unreasonable pregnant hormonal bitch?

[mumblechum]

I don't think that he doesn't trust you, I think he has low confidence in his own worth.

[CheekyPinkSox]

Iv had that said to me before.

Its not the trust issue, its low confidence.

[grottielottie]

What good did you think would ever come out of asking that question? It does sort of give the impression that you do regret it (even if that wasn't your intention).

[minipie]

It doesn't sound like trust. It sounds like he thinks you're only with him out of duty not out of choice/love. Sounds like he needs reassurance that you would have chosen to be with him, baby or no baby. (Assuming that is true!)

[minipie]

Sorry, I meant that it doesn't sound like he doesn't trust you.

[ABatInBunkFive]

grottie don't you ever say/ask something without thinking it through completly? i know i do.

OP I agree with the others who sai it's a confidence issue rather than a trust issue.

[BextheBambi]

he does keep saying I'm too good for him, but i always tell him it doesnt matter to me. It's even got to the point where i'd probably turn down johnny depp if he asked me to hae an affair with him. I really dont want to be with anyone else i'd rather be on my own. I dont tell him i love him everyday because i think saying everyday makes it lose all meaning. But should i be telling him more?

[msrisotto]

agree with mumblechum, he must have really low self esteem!

[minipie]

"he does keep saying I'm too good for him, but i always tell him it doesnt matter to me".

Maybe it would be more reassuring to say "no I am not too good for you, you are exactly what I want" rather than "it doesn't matter to me"? Point out all the stuff you love about him that other guys don't have (even if they are Brad Pitt).

Yes, I think you should tell him you love him more. I don't think it loses its meaning unless you say it when you don't mean it, like in a "routine" way. But if you DO mean it then by all means say it.

And tell him what you just said about turning down Johnny Depp and not wanting anyone other than him!! If I were him I would love to hear that.

[Aussieng]

"he does keep saying I'm too good for him, but i always tell him it doesnt matter to me."



So he says he thinks you're too good for him and your response is to agree but say it doesn't matter to you?????

NO wonder he has low self esteem!

[Aussieng]

Sorry minipie - cross posted

[BextheBambi]

Ah i realise my mistake now. Well after thinking about it i can see how i probably didnt help the situation. well just to update everyone, by the way thankyou for being helpfull , I was just about to ring DP and patch things up admit that i probably dont help the situations by not thinking before i speak. when i recieve this text:

"right now im so angry at you that im going to sleep downstairs, after what you said about our baby i dont want to even look at you"

as you can imagine, im both upset and angry, i realise how waht i said can come across as regretting the descision but i've assured him over and over its not what i meant. I really just want all the stress to be off our shoulders so we can relax and not constantly worry about finance.

[mumblechum]

Oh dear. I think you're really going to have to work quite hard at improving your communication with him, but for the time being I'd tell him that you know he's very angry and that you want to give him a little while to calm down but then you want to make it up.