my neighbour

[pinkglitter]

i have a very annoying neighbour - I have stopped going to her house as she is very emotionally draining.
who i opened the door & said we were having our tea & she still came in & was watching us eating. when i had nearly finished she said i suppose i better go.
She just constantlty moans and today just critisied me she is like a bully and i popped to town today of which i think I am allowed she said i called at your house three times.
What excuses can i make - when she knocks at my door.

[Cannotfindaname]

Open your door with your dressing gown open with no clothes underneath.

[nagoo]

Could you try talking over her in a self-obessed fashion about some fictional 'lady problem'with hideous medical details? She might come round less.

Or don't answer the door.

Or tell her she can't come in. 'Oh. I'm sorry whingerwoman, I'm just going to wax my bikni line, no time to chat'

[pinkglitter]

i am not joking if i dont answer the door she calls my phones

stalker springs to mind

[Lonnie]

Just say

Sorry we are having dinner..

Sorry right now is not a good time

Sorry I am about to go out

Sorry we have friends over I havent seen in a while

in short be truthful

[pinkglitter]

yer i am too nice - to say go away

[Firawla]

That is really annoying the "i called round so many times" "i phoned and you didnt answer" kind of thing (mil does it, but from an unrelated neighbour is worse)it makes it as if you have to justify yourself to them, when really you dont. I think Lonnie's suggestions are good, just direct and to the point, not rude but keep making the point that you are busy.
If she says it again how she came round and you weren't there then just use it to emphasise "yes, I really am very busy these days" or something like that.
If she comes to the door don't answer it, let her phone it'll be easier to get rid of her as she can't then barge her way past into the house?

[JustMyTwoPenceWorth]

So what happened? She came to the door, you said "we are having dinner" and she? walked past you? you said come in? she said oh, I'll come in? How did she get through the door at that point?

Sorry, but you need to be firm. It's not about being nice or nasty. You're not a nasty person if you set boundaries. You can do it in a nice, friendly way.

[tinkletinklelittlestar]

I can't believe you let her come in during dinner - if I knew someone might be having dinner I wouldn't dream of interrupting. It is beyond rude and it needs nipping in the bud NOW.

Set phones to silent so she can't hear them ring when she is at your door.

Next time she says something obviously critical you could say something (in a calm manner) back along the lines of, 'Please don't speak to me like that, I don't deserve it. I would not talk to you like that and I don't see why I should stay around to listen to you anymore'. I hope she will realise the error of her ways and give you a grovelling apology.

[pinkglitter]

thank you for the replies.
I shall take everyones advise thank you

[cupcakesandbunting]

This will sound terrible but my mum is a wee bit like this.

Sometimes after 8pm I switch my mobile to silent because, goddamnit, I just want a bit of p&q. Mum will try to ring my on my mobile but obviously she will try it and I don't hear so then she will ring round all the phones in the house until she can get hold of me.

I ought to point out that I tend to speak to her at least once during the day.

[vintage]

this is why i would NEVER get involved with neighbours it usually always end in tears

[GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy]

I have a friend like this. If she can't get in touch with me she'll ring my DP or my close friend to ask them why I'm not answering my phone . She also popped by at the worst times with no warning. I put my phone on silent when she rings unless it's conveniant to talk. When she stops by unannounced I give her a job to do "Oh X thank god you're here. I'm totally snowed under. Can you change a dirty nappy/ fold these clothes/ help dry the washing up?". It does help to deter her. She has started to text to ask if I'm avaliable now as she knows if she just turns up she will be put to good use.

[JustMyTwoPenceWorth]

Glenda, that's bloody brilliant!!

[GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy]

Why thank you .