To wonder why all adverts for sanitary stuff is so crap?

(52 Posts)
deaddei Mon 03-May-10 12:36:44

First it was the ads of women mastering all sorts of physical activity because they used Tampax- I have just seen a horrendous one of a towel fixed astride a bucking bronco thing- the inference being it will not come unstuck even if you're riding a stallion.
(are they called towels- maybe I'm showing my age. My mum called them ST's in a very low voice a la Les Dawson)

They are crap, even DH has commented so they must be.

venusonarockbun Mon 03-May-10 12:48:20

They are vomit-inducing. Wouldnt care if I never saw another ad. And I agree the bucking bronco ad is vile.

Katisha Mon 03-May-10 13:04:12

There can't be any women on the advertising teams, surely.

BigBadMummy Mon 03-May-10 13:07:04

and the liquid has to be blue.

God forbid we should use red!!

I read a David Baddiel book in which he described these adverts as using Princess Diana's menses because they were blue blood.
I've not seen the bronco ad [must watch more telly emoticon]

Xavielli Mon 03-May-10 14:12:35

"Have a Happy period!"

Make me want to personally castrate every male I see.

Anyone remember 'Whooooooo Bodyfoooormmmm'.

We have one with a contortionist getting into a small clear plastic box while a woman dressed as a ringmaster stands beside her grinning.

I hate the blue liquid ones. They are so close to the nappy adverts.

I saw that bucking bronco advert last night and muttered to DP about how there were clearly no women on the advertising team. I suspect the adverts would be far more entertaining if it were women creating them.

JackBauerIsZonerrific Mon 03-May-10 14:44:01

I use a mooncup but still need ST's occasionally.
If any ST company produced an advert with a woman in copmfy trackies and jumper watching shit telly while curled on the sofa with a cushion saying
'Feel like shit? Want to kill everyone? Run out of chocolate and can't stop crying? At least you won't have to worry about leaks.'

I would stay with them for life

(Any ad execs watching, I wanted paying for that)

biddysmama Mon 03-May-10 14:48:17

personaly i find its the ones with the most claims that i end up accidentaly waxing myself with, i ignore the adverts and buy the cheaper ones grin

I'd like that ad too JackBauer.

The female contraceptive ads beggar belief too. Women all sitting around while one of them lectures talks to them about Yaz including going through all the side effects in excruiating detail.

Did anyone else see the vaginal yeast infection one? A group of women sitting around talking about one woman's itchy minge. That is soooooo not happening.

What do men think women talk about?

biddysmama Mon 03-May-10 14:51:34

periods and constipation madamdeathstare....

amothersplaceisinthewrong Mon 03-May-10 14:55:35

None of this should be advertised on TV. Not in Britain.

sockmonkey Mon 03-May-10 15:13:54

Love that idea JB.
Have a happy period - no I won't. I will be spotty and crave chocolate and time on my own.

deaddei Mon 03-May-10 15:37:43

The constipation one with the women having lunch is horrendous.
"Bottle of Sauvignon and soft stools allround?"

FunnyLittleFrog Mon 03-May-10 15:50:31

I wonder if research has ever been done to find out if these ads are actually effective. Has any woman EVER bought sanitary products specifically because of the advertising?

Kaloki Mon 03-May-10 17:19:27

"and the liquid has to be blue.

God forbid we should use red!!"

Apparently that's the only way they could get round the censors. It took them ages to be allowed to show the pads themselves in adverts, let alone put liquid on them!

JB that would be excellent!

I think there are should be more women in advertising, would stop it just being car and alcohol ads that are clever.

faddle Mon 03-May-10 18:13:25

"Have a happy period"
Sure I will. I will be oblivious to the agonising cramps, hideous backache and will thoroughly enjoy myself ALL BECAUSE I AM WEARING THE RIGHT BRAND OF SANITARY TOWEL!

And for the record, having ridden a horse who could buck for england for the last 10 years, there isnt a sanitary towel alive that will stand up to that, I'm quite sure I would have discovered it by now. Every single one ends up as a wedgie within minutes, the ones with wings having the added bonus that your pubes get stuck to them too. Happy days.

deaddei Mon 03-May-10 18:14:30

lol at stuck pubes.
I have the same issue. blush

JackBauer: That's why a lot of people here in the US were amused by this new(ish) advert (by Kotex I think), who actually use some of their older adverts to take the piss of how crap advertising is around this stuff.

Blue liquid has always been totally weird to me - I didn't know it was to get around censors. That makes some sense, even if it's horrendous! How on earth did anyone find out about these things in the early years? I am now imagining a fifties voice saying: "Need to feel fresh at awkward times? Well, we can't tell you any more about our product to help you with Certain Moments! So here's a picture of a flower!" [grin}

Kaloki Mon 03-May-10 19:11:13
LittleSilver Mon 03-May-10 19:16:58

Love the Kotex ad.

Well, I got af for the first time in yonks in Feb,(back to back pgs/bf x3) and after using up the box of tampax I've dutifully moved house with I went out and bought some (low voice) STs. Tesco value. Jolly good they were too. And a snip at 69p.

Gashtray Mon 03-May-10 19:18:38

My absolute fave is the one with 'odour control'. You know the one. We open with a simpering woman getting ready to go out - she's not going let her period get in the way of her having fun, oh no. Look, she's putting on a hot pink dress - how subtley and tastefully the colour suggests the fact she's dropping clots! Now she's skipping through a pink door and into some sort of carnival (let us not dwell too long on the allegory there). So far, so blah. What's new about sanitary towels? Ahh, but these ones have 12 hour odour control. That's right, girls, the magical coalition of cotton wool and synthetic fragrance will cover the embarassing truth - your clunge stinks. Just to prove it works, our girl is whisked up into the air by a tanned and oiled himbo. Her crotch levels with his face. Thanks to Carefree odour control sanitary towels, not a single whiff does he get of the claggy, smelly minge that's probably welding itself to her inner thigh under that floaty dress.

PandaEis Mon 03-May-10 19:31:45

gashtray you paint a lovely picturegrin i just snorted and scared my manager who is sitting close by me (im in workhmm)grin

i, too would like to see an advert giving us a more realistic picture of a periodgrin

how about a woman carefully picking out the old, dark, crappy period knickers...dark trousers and massive chocolate bar to make it through the dayhmm thats me... cant wear much lighter than black as i leak like a bastard even with tampon and SThmm (should have had a TMI warning there too reallygrin)

nickschick Mon 03-May-10 19:36:23

If the ads were too exciting Men would want periods too grin.

In our house Dh insists we say in a very low voice 'unwell' and tampax is quickly dispensed into a black soap bag and referred to as 'ladies things'hmm- you can imagine the shock he got when we returned home unexpectedly to find the dog running round dressed in my bra and knickers hmmblush.......teenage sons whod have em??grin

Poor dog grin.

nickschick Mon 03-May-10 20:41:24

oi my knickers arent that bad sad

LouIsOnAHighwayToHell Mon 03-May-10 20:46:18

have a happy period

Now this is entertaining.

mummychicken Mon 03-May-10 21:02:23

I bought a mooncup on Friday - find out I'm pregnant on Sunday - won't be using it for quite a while - but I was looking forward hmm to a period with no bloody leaks (pun not intended) and not rustling whem walking.

Also does any one wear pants or have a crotch that the pads actually fit??

NathanBarley Mon 03-May-10 21:06:33

There did used to be a great one with a girl on the sofa, boyfriend offers her a cup of tea and she says 'oooh yes, let's all have a cup of MAGIC TEA!' I can relate to that.

NonnoMum Mon 03-May-10 21:12:17

Do you remember when SanPro adverts were allowed on TV for the first time? Claire Rayner chatting away. When was that? Late 80s?

Hey, ad agencies, mine would be something like this...

"Want to sit on a brand new white sofa? And maybe cross your legs? Then buy these, Menstrual Minnie. They work."

piprabbit Mon 03-May-10 21:18:29

I am refusing to buy Tampax Pearl on principal, just because it's advertised with that woman who looks a bit like La Beckham being visited with a little gift from Mother Nature. But does she have to stop posing for her all white photo shoot? Of course not, she is using Tampax Pearl.

As far as I can make out it's not very pearly at all, the main difference being the knots in the string and the shiny tube.

I would love to see Mooncups advertised on national TV. Little plastic tumblers filled with what appears to be Blue Curaçao.

NathanBarley Mon 03-May-10 21:25:22

You know what though, they are really quite good those pearl ones. Too expensive though, I am persevering with the mooncup even though I have a love hate relationship with it.

piprabbit Mon 03-May-10 21:28:59

I love my mooncup, right up until the moment I spill it down the inside of my trousers (still round my ankles). But I've not given up yet...

Valpollicella Mon 03-May-10 21:37:12

Love on that retro ad for Kotex linked to above there is a slip to send off for Very Personally Yours, a booklet that evry gil needs.. hmm

A link to the 1961 version

Off to have a read and see if there's any great gems...

NathanBarley Mon 03-May-10 21:38:32

The good thing about the pearl is that you don't get that thing with the applicator where it gets stuck and you can't push the bottom bit into the top bit iyswim. But they do seem very wasteful as you're throwing a piece of plastic away each time you use one. Hmmm, do you think the world is ready for a reusable applicator?

Valpollicella Mon 03-May-10 21:44:13

All seems quite reasonable apart from the line that should you wish to try using tampons, it's probably best to 'check with your mother of physician first' hmm grin

piprabbit Mon 03-May-10 21:47:44

Nathan, in a world where there are mooncups and reusable tampons (crocheted if I remember rightly) the idea of a reusable applicator is positively tame.

NathanBarley Mon 03-May-10 23:00:59

Great! I'm calling tampax with my idea.

This reminds me of an embarassing moment from school. In teen girls mags they used to have a coupon you could fill out to send off for a free sample of tampax. I filled one out but forgot to cut it out. Guess what the girls in my class found when my magazine was getting passed round in maths class the next day - yes with my name and address and everything. It seems silly now but I was seriously mortified.

Valpollicella Mon 03-May-10 23:07:29

Oh yes, there are the sponge things, so a reusable applicator is not woo at all grin

I can imagine the mortification Nathan. I remember how well I (and others) used to hide towels/tampons in our school bags for fear of them being found confused and effectively confessing to 'being on'

I think I have gone full circle now, and me and my manager both are vocal about it.

'I am in a freaking EVIL mood. Raging PMT. Sorry if I snap at you today'

'Thta's ok. I'll be the same next week'


<hobbling towards desk>

Log in and get an IM pop up:

'Hey hon you ok? Period??'

'Yes <sob>'

'Ok sweety, shall let you keep a low profile today. Let me know if you need chocolate or painkillers or something'

Heart my manager...

Kaloki Tue 04-May-10 08:56:04

I was the total opposite at school - very proud of being on my period. I was, I believe, the second girl to start puberty in my year. Despite the fact I looked about 5 years younger than everyone else, and knew that everyone had said I'd be last.

NathanBarley Tue 04-May-10 19:42:56

where can i get a pattern for crocheting tampons btw? grin

TheShriekingHarpy Tue 04-May-10 21:56:10

Rather than offering 20% extra incentives on sanitary products I often wish they would just include a courtesy chocolate bar - I'm not even fussy, a mars bar would be peachy.

TheCrackFox Tue 04-May-10 22:10:43


piprabbit Wed 05-May-10 00:45:11

Drum roll, please......

da daaaa

piprabbit Wed 05-May-10 00:46:12

(that was for Nathan, obviously) blush

thanks for link piprabbit - did you see the 'make your own' section? Showed DH and he looked like he might throw up, while I just laughed at the group session the blurb at the top suggested.
whats wrong with a group chocolate session anyway?

piprabbit Wed 05-May-10 14:08:37

Now you can't say that MN isn't educational... grin

TottWriter Wed 05-May-10 14:28:37

When I've had DC2 I am so looking into reuseable tampons. Though I don't know I could manage on a medium flow only one. (Gah, sorry for the TMI!)

I'm so fed up with having to shell out for the damned things all the time. And it's sickening that we still have to pay VAT to not have menstrual flow trickle down our legs once a month.

Once this election nighmare is over, MN should focus on getting that dropped. I'd be behind them all the way.

Astrophe Fri 07-May-10 15:03:57

here is a great ad for Kotex.

(and while I was finding it on Youtube I found this too, which made me lol. Although I have no clue as to what a 'meat banana' is.

Astrophe Sun 09-May-10 12:49:03

bumping so you can see these funny videos

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