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AIBU?

want to slap this man....

44 replies

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 11:51

this man has local business, is a cousin of a good friend and has a lovely wife and two great kids.
He has been seen out clubbing/pubbing with a woman (she was draping her legs over his in the bar)3 times.Saturday nights -whilst his wife is sat at home thinking he out with his (male) friends .
its getting embarresing because everyone in town has seen them and we have a mutual friend (his wife and i) who was there when we saw him with the ow.
mutual friend is now avoiding mrs x because she doesnt wasnt to lie to her by default(as in not telling her) , but doesnt want to not tell her.
man is stupid , needs a slap.

OP posts:

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localmum · 26/04/2010 11:54

I don't think anyone should tell his wife at this stage. I think the good friend, who is his cousin, should have strong words and tell him the whole town is talking and his wife is going to find out soon and what is he going to do about it. IMO

thehillsarealive · 26/04/2010 11:55

did you or your friend not say something to your friends husband? I would have! But then that is me.

I take it the wife doesnt think anything is going on or know about this OW?

Poor thing (wife) always the last to know.

Not unreasonable to slap this man, but U by not saying anything to him at all. By not saying anything you are condoning his behaviour by default.

SpringyThingy · 26/04/2010 11:57

YANBU. Slap him. And tell him thats a playful little tickle compared to what his wife should do when she finds out, which she inevitably will.

TheAgentZigzagLoonyParty · 26/04/2010 12:00

Just my opinion, but won't she be fkg furious when she finds out about him and that you knew and didn't tell her?

If my DH was messing about with someone else I'd want to know, to think that everyone else knew would make you feel a total idiot (even though you haven't been).

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 12:03

my friend - who is also the wifes friend (im not) ,marched over to him the first time and started talking to him about how lovely his wife is ... he responded by saying miss J is just a mate... they all fell out for a few weeks because of this.
last time i was there was when miss j(ow) had her legs draped over him... was disgusting display if she was any closer she would have been wraped around him...

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drloves8 · 26/04/2010 12:05

i dont really know her , should i tell her?.

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TheAgentZigzagLoonyParty · 26/04/2010 12:09

Thing is he might not be up to anything, but if he's not then surely he'd tell miss j to back off because there are people about who know him and might get the wrong idea.

If he is up to something, he has a very low opinion of his wife, and sounds like he wants her to find out.

Not sure whether you should tell her, I'm surprised someone closer to her hasn't TBH. How would you feel about saying something?

GeekOfTheWeek · 26/04/2010 12:21

I would want to know if my dh was behaving like this and everyone knew.

AnyFucker · 26/04/2010 12:23

I would want to know if I was being made a fool of

I am not sure how I would take it from a complete stranger though

Chandra · 26/04/2010 12:27

The messenger is always shot, he will deny everything, wife may believe you or not, may believe him or not, but the messenger will get a bad time out of this. Which is something you can and should endure if wife is your best friend.

So, if wife is NOT your friend, and somebody has already talked to her husband and he has continued with that behaviour, I suppose there is little or nothing that you could do or should do.

jasper · 26/04/2010 12:31

I think you should keep right out of it

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:02

thats the thing, i asked dh what he tought and he said unless you have actually seen them having sex you should not say anything.
mabey the ow is just chasing him and he hasnt done the deed...
might suggest to her that she goes for a night out one saturday ,???

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Callisto · 26/04/2010 13:05

I would want to know as well, whether it came from a complete stranger or not. So I think you should tell her.

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:05

bloody horrible.
wife is stunning woman btw , we were sitting there going wtf?.

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EricPicklesFatNeck · 26/04/2010 13:06

would it be better if the wife was ugly?

Callisto · 26/04/2010 13:06

Drloves - he is complicit in the chase though, if she is sprawling herself across him in public. I would still want to know, whether or not they had actually had sex.

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:10

thing is all our kids go to the same school , its a small place.

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Callisto · 26/04/2010 13:12

Which will make her feel even worse when she finds out - that everyone was talking about her, everyone knew before she did, no-one cared enough to tell her, etc etc.

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:13

ericpicklesfan of course not, dont be silly. But the mind boggles as to why mr x who isnt that attractive(short ,averege looking bloke)
would go else where when his wife is stunning. the girl in question isnt bad looking either , but not in the same league as wife.

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EricPicklesFatNeck · 26/04/2010 13:14

yes because teh only value a woman can possible hold for a man is her looks. i hate when people say this sort of thing.

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:15

excactly what i was thinking Callisto.
ive been there myself, (ex-h) and its not nice.

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WhenwillIfeelnormal · 26/04/2010 13:15

So this poor woman has got half the playground looking at her in a pitying way? How awful

When this came up recently on a different thread, I said that I would take the woman to one side, tell her what I'd seen - tell her that I'd respect her next move what ever that might be - and that I would not be telling anyone else that I'd been the messenger.

The chat amongst other people is going to make this worse for her.

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:19

eric , the wife is also loyal, loving a good mother , a high earner and and kind . her house is immacculate and the kids are spotless.she does work with local underprivilidged kids too.
from what im told shes a guenuinly nice person. the way she looks is just icing on the cake.

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EricPicklesFatNeck · 26/04/2010 13:21

ffs

drloves8 · 26/04/2010 13:23

whenwillifeelnormal i think i should tell her one minute, and then dont the next.
think im just hopeing we were mistaken ,and /or that hes came to his sences and stop the noncense.

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