AIBU to feel so tempted

[sparklefrog]

to inform ex's new partner what a complete waste of space he is, before she inevitably finds out for herself.

Before I go any further, I wont be contacting her in any way, shape or form, since I have noticed that more often than not, the new partner doesn't believe the ex, and it seems to begin a war between current and ex.

Instead I shall just sit on my hands and hope she smells the coffee sooner rather than later.

It just seems so bloody unfair that innocent women are being conned by my ex, and hurt, over and over again, and it seems there is very very little I can do to stop it. What a horrible position to be in.

[TwatthewWright]

I was tempted when I found out my ExH was in a long term relationship with a woman who didn't know that he had ever been married and was still married to me!

But these horrible guys do a good job of slagging off us exes in case we do just that so that if we do, we won't be believed and we will look like the monster we have been painted as.

Slag him off on here!

[scottishmummy]

say nowt because you will look like deranged ex who wants him back,they will become more united.as you say she will hopefully figure it out

[sparklefrog]

You're right, I would end up looking like the deranged ex, and I know he has peddled this image of me to his new g/f's before, so it's likely he will do the same this time.

He is a creature of habit it seems.

In the last 7 years, he has had 4 relationships.

Relationship 1 - Was a total cocklodger, stole her cash and jewellery to pawn, always lied and denied it, drove her car, lived at her address, where he ran up huge bills, obviously in her name, rarely paid for anything, and her DC hated him, left her in debt up to her eyeballs, his parents hated her.

Relationship 2 (Me )- Again, paid hardly any bills, stole money from DS, myself, stole goods from me, DS, left me numerous times for Ex No1, drove my car into the ground, got me into debt to the tune of £11K, lots of EA, punched me whilst pregnant, we had a DD, whom he stole from too, left alone sleeping at 6 months old while he popped to local corner shop, ran up huge phone bills, applied for loans from my address, then took DD to his mother's house, so as to blackmail me into resuming my relationship with him, by refusing to return her until I agreed to take him back too. He claimed to be the victim of my apparent mood swings to his family, told them I refuse to allow him to see DD, and generally made me out to be awful to them. Consequently, his family have made no effort to see DD in a year now, citing being too busy as their reason. (Yes, I got DD back through the courts, in fact XP agreed to return DD amicably before the hearing, although he tells everyone he was forced to give DD back since he didn't have a place of his own), has provided DD with virtually nothing since she was born, although he was the driving force behind having DD.
Has attempted to kick in my back door, broken into my house through an unsecure window, the list goes on and on.

Relationship 3 - Lasted 4 months, during which time he stole her DC's money and jewellery to pawn for cash, claimed he hadn't been paid from his job, so as to avoid contributing to any household bills, but this was a wise lady, and she reported him to the police. XP was taken to court.

Relationship 4 - Stole her money, and her DC's PS3 to pawn. Pawned her jewellery.

He eats others food, smokes their cigs, lives rent free, bill free, steals every penny you or your DC have, or anything valuable, treats you like dirt, and slags off all his ex g/f's.

He's even stolen from his now ex best friend since childhood, his own mother, his nan, in fact there is no one he hsn't lied to or stolen from.

He lies about the most pointless things too.

Ahhhhhh, feels better for that, thanks.

Only wish I could put a big tattoo on his forehead warning other women not to trust him. It would save alot of heartache.

[AnyFucker]

Although YANBU, you really need to move on

The fact that you can detail all his wrongdoing with such precision, even when it doesn't relate to you, speaks volumes that you are still investing too much of your energy in him

I understand your anger and frustration, but seriously, you will feel like a weight has been lifted if you could just not give a shit

[ChippingIn]

Gulp - I can see why the others are saying not to do anything - but if I were his new GF I would want to know...

It would be good if we could have a 'Rogues Gallery' so anyone dating someone could check to see if it's an MN'ers EX first!!

[solo]

You sound like me talking about my ex...don't worry, they'll get theirs;my ex has started to get his!

[AnyFucker]

karma is a wonderful thing

[sparklefrog]

I know you are right AF, I think my anger has fired up again lately after he came to collect DD 2 weeks ago, and I allowed him to use the loo. Big mistake. He stole £500 from my room while he was upstairs.

I don't usually let him through the bloody door, but he was dancing around, and I was having a job getting DD's shoes and coat on. It has been months since I have let him past my front door, and the first time I do, he lives up to all of my expectations spectacularly.

I am on benefits atm, and the money was to get my car through it's MOT and service, plus a little left over for any repairs that needed doing or possibly a new mattress for my DS's bed, since the one he has is already 14 yrs old.

Of course, he denies taking the money, but there was no one else in the house at the time. I noticed within half an hour of him leaving. Grrrrrrr!!!!!

ChippingIn Great idea in theory.

[Granny23]

Marriage licences should be like driving licences i.e. 3 faults and they are withdrawn.

[solo]

The thing is; this woman contacted me a few years ago to ask me about my exh, so I told her, answered all her questions hinestly and she still married him. She has now been burned in much the same way as I was and wishes she'd listened.
You can't contact her, but she may well contact you...

[Dinkytinky]

I've had this problem too, it is very very difficult to not look like a loonatic believe me.my ex hit and emotionally abused me for a year before I got away and when he met a new girl I warned her via email and she threatened me with police action- 6 months later she emailed me to say he'd broken her ribs, was really awful for both of us. Does he have a criminal record for what he's done? Maybe poltiley inform her that if she asked about him at the police station they might e able to give some insight on his character? Good luck anyway x

[sparklefrog]

I wont contact her, because I suspect how much he has made me out to be a loon anyway, and the chances are a new partner doesn't really want to see the evil that lurks beneath the surface.

Not sure the police can divulge anything on his police record to a 3rd party who isn't a legal representative anyway can they?

[Condensedmilkaddict]

I hope you reported the theft of your money to the police.

[Tryharder]

Agree with Condensedmilk. He stole £500 from you? Did you report him to the police?

I feel for you but in the end, you and the other women are enabling this man to behave like this. You had a relationship with him that was serious and long enough to produce a child. Were you aware when you got pregnant of the fact that he had stolen from you and your DS and had cheated on you already plus all the other abuse you catalog (running up debts etc)? Presumably you knew all this but still went ahead and had a child with him. Surely, the first time someone steals/cheats from you is a not so subtle hint: DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN OR ALLOW HIM IN YOUR HOUSE.

I know what's done is done but you need to get this waste of space out of your life and out of your head. I bet he would love it if he knew you were discussing him on the internet.

And of course there is no point saying anything to his new girlfriend. He'll just tell her that you are a lying nutcase who wants him back.

[AnyFucker]

sparkle...what a shitty low-life thief he is...

you are well-rid, just concentrate on that fact

I wonder when he will start stealing from is own children...

[DuelingFanjo]

report him to the police, him stealing from you is shocking. As he has previous form surely they can do something?

[RunawayWife]

What a low life, hope his new DP finds this out soon.

I would be tempted to (anonymously) fly poster the area with his photo and list of his crimes, or start a facebook group to warn other poor women to stay away from the oxygen stealer

[feeimcgee]

My sister's husband left her for someone else (a supposed friend) and she did spend a while calling her and telling her about the awful things he was saying and doing - like kicking her out of the house. She just wanted to warn her what a nasty person he had turned out to be. It actually didn't make the blindest bit of difference - two years on and she is still with the arse. On a happier note, after a lot of pain, my lovely sister is now remarried with a beautiful wee baby, and couldn't be happier!