AIBU to not want to breastfeed?

[VixeyV]

Hi this is my first post but I have been a lurker since the start of my pregnancy.

Anyway, my question is I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the midwife keeps pushing me into breastfeeding. I just don't want to and don't get why she won't stop asking me how I'll feed.

To be honest, the thought of it freaks me out. I didn't breastfeed my daughter and she's fine on formula, she has aptimal because that's the best.

So what do you think? Should my midwife stop nagging me?

[mrsbean78]

I don't think YABU but I do think asking this on AIBU will lead to trouble..

[winnybella]

It's a bit difficult question to answer, as it is certain that breastfeeding is better for your baby than formula. At first, the colostrum, than it can help prevent lots of infections, allergies etc and it has antibodies. Just because your dd is fine, doesn't mean that formuls is as good as bf- it's not.
OTOH it is your choice to make so if you're certain you don't want to do it, then perhaps you need to let the midwife know how firmly decided you are.
I think the guidelines are recommending bf so it's likely to be their official stance iyswim.

[scottishmummy]

i think you will get your head danced upon posting this on aibu

brace yourself

[MillyR]

Have you told the midwife that you have definitely chosen formula?

Maybe you just need to make clear that your decision is final. Tell her, and make sure she writes it on your maternity notes so that your wishes are followed after birth.

[ReneRusso]

Midwife is just doing her job I guess. YABU. Out of interest why does it freak you out?

[ClickNegg]

lol at aptimel

[VixeyV]

I'd don't know, I just find it a bit weird a baby sucking on my boob.

[tinkletinklelittlestar]

No you are not. You have a daughter already and say she is fine so, don't sweat it now. You might change your mind when baby comes. I only managed a couple of weeks and even then I expressed most of that time after much stress and tears.

[JaneS]

Vixey, in the course of this lurking you mention, did you happen across any other breastfeeding threads?

I'm only asking because there is a somewhat predictable response to what you're saying that has to do with mother nature and the function of the breast, and while I'd hate for you to miss out on a good experience of MN-flaming, you may wish to don protective clothing now.

Good luck

[ABitBatty]

"she has aptimal because that's the best" - best at what? Says who?

[JaneS]

(Btw, in all seriousness: feed your child formula if you want and tell the midwife to give it a rest, it's a free country.)

[Rosalind1079]

You find it weird?! Why what did you think your boobs were for out of interest?!

[TrillianAstra]

Do you know you find it weird (as in did you try with your DD) or did you just think it would be weird? It what boobs are for, after all.

Just a little bit at the beginning can be very helpful, but if you really don't want to just tell her that you have made your final decision and you don't want to talk about it any more.

You are likely to get told off for saying 'aptamil that's the best' - there is no 'best' when it comes to formula, different recipes suit different babies. It's like insisting that kenco coffee is better than nescafe, when other people prefer cafe direct.

[ABitBatty]

"I just find it a bit weird a baby sucking on my boob" - surley no weirder than squeezaing said baby out of seemingly smaller fanjo?

[DuelingFanjo]

This is a troll, right?

[dobbyssocks]

I don't think YABU. I ff ds1 because I really didn't want to bf, I was going to try it but tbh just didn't fancy it at all. After a difficult and exhausting labour and EMCS it was easy to say no and go straight to formula and I didn't regret it for a minute.

When I was pg with ds2 I came round to the idea for various reasons (although not because of pressure from anyone)and really wanted to have a go, I bf ds2 for 7 months and i loved it I'm so glad I did it and I would do it all again if we have a DC3.

Your midwife is asking you about it because its her job to encourage bf.

I don't think you're being unreasonable not to bf but having felt like you did 1st time round and knowing how I felt after bf I would say don't rule it out altogether.

The main thing that made me change my mind was seeing a friend bf her baby, I watched her and she looked so contented its hard to put into words but I felt really emotional (pg hormones!)and I knew I didn't want to never have at least tried to have that experience if that makes sense.

[BunnyLebowski]

Without a doubt DF

[thegirlonadolphin]

Clearly a troll .

[scottishmummy]

troll schmoll,who cares.fwiw this will be predictable

[VixeyV]

I'm not a troll. I'm only asking what people think. I really don't want to breastfeed and just feel like there is pressure from all sides.

[sanfairyann]

she keeps asking you how you'll feed cos she needs to fill in data that can then be analysed to see how many women want to bf, manage to bf, didn't want to bf etc. your mw also has a duty to make sure you are informed about the health benefits of bf and the health risks of ff so you can't turn round later on in life and say you didn't know cos noone told you. that's all - just doing her job.

(rofl at the aptamil comment btw what next? )

[NathanBarley]

You are being unreasonable not to even try it. It's only a few months out of your life that you'd be doing it. And it's brilliant when you get the hang of it.

[VixeyV]

WHy do you all keep saying I'm a troll? I'm only asking for advice. It's so confusing this parenting thing and this is a parenitng website.