to be feeling a bit broody after DH and I agreed no more babies?

[cupcakesandbunting]

First AIBU for me so go easy...

We've got one DS who is now 3. I had a bit of a shitty pregnancy and couldn't walk for the last 3 months due to SPD. We'd always talked about having two LOs but my pregnancy put me off, if I'm honest. I'd have no problems going through it again if I had no children but if I had to go through it again with a toddler/small child I'd struggle.

So about a year ago, DH and I agreed that we'd just have one and that was that. We sold our two bedroomed house and moved into a three bed so that we and DS would have a room each and so that we'd have a spare room for relatives/friends to visit. So we bought this house on the basis of having no more LOs. Escept now, I am feeling quite broody. I've felt like it for about four months and I've waited to see if it will pass but it doesn't seem to be.

I'm torn between bringing it up to DH because I made a real fuss about moving to the house that we did (I wanted it because it had bigger garden for DS and because it was off a busy road) and I feel that the decision about this house was rested on not needed another bedroom because no more babies were on the horizon, and not mentioning because I feel a little "made your bed so lie in it". I'm also worried that if I don't broach the subject, I might really regret it in ten years time. I don't want DH to feel that I deceived him somehow, which is a bit how I feel but I'm honestly not feeling like this deliberately [ confused]

Sorry for such a long post. Just wondered what the MN jury might have to say

[shesdrivingmecrazy]

My friend has 3 DC in a 3 bed house.

I would never let something like that stand in the way of having another dc if I really, really wanted one.

[cupcakesandbunting]

I suppose when you put it like that I've just never believed in kids sharing rooms. It's fine when they're little but what about when they're teenagers and they want space to do whatever teenagers do?

[shesdrivingmecrazy]

You can move when they're older though, can't you?

We're in a 3 bed and I'm pg with number 2. It's another girl so I'm hoping they can share at some point when the baby is a bit older then we'll move later on which we might need to do anyway for secondary schools or whatever.

I also want a third but DH doesn't, but that's another story!

[thefinerthingsinlife]

I'm in sort of the same position, i had a really bad pregnancies with both dc, i had SPD too and was on crutches @ 12ish weeks.
I also found out i have a bicornuate uterus after giving birth to DC2 ( was very that they did pick it up before).
So dh and i agreed no more babies.

But now i've been broody for another dc for the last few months. ( I always wanted 3)
Dh is still saying no way.

So I feel for you

BTW i know i'm very lucky to have the 2 children i have due to the bicornuate uterus.

[Mouseface]

Snap re the severe SPD. No more for us because of that. DS is almost 1 and I'm still on crutches, going to hydrotherapy and physio. Bloody awaful!

[PrivetDancer]

I think you have to discuss it with your DH, it's not that you were deceitful, you've just changed your mind!
I think you might well regret it for a long time if you don't mention it to him.

fwiw I think 2 children in a 3 bedroomed house is perfectly normal - i wouldn't make them share, just put guests up on the sofa or have the dc share when you have guests or something.

[StealthPolarBear]

if the house is it - go for it (talk to dh first obv)
as someone else says yhour dcs can share when you have people staying
do you think your dh might secretly be thinking the same?
will you be able to get help for late pg / early days?

[tortoiseonthehalfshell]

You don't need a room for guests, really. It's not like a 3BR is too small for two children - I mean, come on, perspective. You're talking about maybe 10, 12 years down the track you might have to sacrifice the dedicated guest room. Oh well.

I know you agreed the one, but it's definitely worth bringing up. You didn't move somewhere that's impractical for a second child, so why not?

[hophophippidtyhop]

My sister had spd with her first, and no sign of it with the second. You can always move in a few years if you feel you need another room, or you don't like them sharing. Think how you'd feel if in twenty years your dh said he wished you'd had another one and you'd never mentioned it. Talk to him!

[FakePlasticTrees]

How often do you have people stay? Every week or once in a blue moon? How long to guests normally say? more than a week? Do you honestly need a guest room? could a camp bed for DC1 in DC2's room for occasional visitor can use DC1's room not do?

[FakePlasticTrees]

sorry, posted too soon -

if you feel this way, you might always regret not discussing it with DH - you might find he wants a second but didn't want to pressure you. Please at least discuss it with him. (And you really next extra space, I'm sure you could do something like convert your loft in a few years time!)

[ChippingIn]

You need to talk to your DH. He might be a little bit irked that you have changed your mind, over something really big, when he felt it was 'sorted', but on the other hand he might really, really want another child but not want to 'put you through it' when you have agreed not to have another - unless you talk you wont know will you??

Imagine one day saying, you know what love, I wish 20 years ago we'd had another baby and him saying, I would have loved it, but didn't think you wanted anymore...

That's a lot more heartbreak than a few words now!!

As for the bedrooms, worrying about them sharing is years away!!!

[AussieSim]

Just be honest with him. There are so many great reasons to have more than 1, although I do hear that SPD is a real B*h. We thought we were calling it quits after two but I was just permanently clucky and DH understood in the end and so we were lucky to have a third - I am now cured! We have a 4 bedroom house with all their own rooms and my mum sleeps on the lounge when she come to visit - but I might put the boys into one room soon and reclaim a guest bedroom.

[ChippingIn]

Did you talk to DH ??

[runnybottom]

Are you seriously suggesting that you can't have 2 children in a 3 bed house?

God knows what I'm doing with 3 children in a 2 bed house then.

[minipie]

I get the impression it's not really about the house being unsuitable, it's more about the fact that you made a decision (and maybe made quite a big deal of it when choosing the house) and are now changing your mind.

As others have said, you didn't do it deliberately, you have just changed your view. Speak to your DH. If you bite your tongue you will regret it.

Obviously however you may have a bit of work to do to convince him you're not going to change your mind back again

[jazee]

runnybottom....
glad there are others out there like me. Although we do have 3 bedrooms and 3 DC we are all very happy about bedroom sharing.
Get fed up with people saying my 13 year old should have his own room. I prefer our 4 year old to have his own room as it's the "box" room. It is so sweet and so cosey for him. My 13 and 10 year old don't spend much time in their rooms and they have the privelege of having the largest room too! We have a large lounge/playroom and we all like to be downstairs together.
When I was a child and lived in a 4 bed detatched, my mother wouldn't let my sister and myself share.....o how we wanted to.