to not fund ds further education

[frazzled74]

we have a moderate income which allows us to pay mortgage etc and have 1 holiday per year plus a few day trips etc, but no savings. ds 17 will be going to uni next year. we also have a 7 and 4 year old.
am i being unreasonable to expect ds to take student loan to cover tuition and accomodation costs etc.Some of my friends are talking about taking on second jobs and remortgaging to help finance uni. I think this would be detrimental to rest of family (not enough equity anywayto remortgage)
I was hoping that ds would find part time /holiday work to minimise his borrowing and that i woud be on hand with food parcels, train fares etc. I know that its hard that students end up with masses of debt but is it that awful?

[mnistooaddictive]

YANBU, I think it will teach him independence and budgetting. If you can save a small amount to give him when he graduates that wiould be more helpful as he can use it to set himself up for work. DN and me have already decided that even if we could afford it, we would give the money at the end not the start as it would encourage them to be sensible.

[ImSoNotTelling]

If you can't afford it then you can't afford it.

If you do suddenly come into some dosh later you can help him with his loans at that stage if you want to - it's not now or never - unless it means that he can't go at all, of course. In which case I guess everyone needs to sit down and have a think about what to do next.

But i don't think you're being unreasonable, no.

The only other thing that you might find is that he ends up studying at a local Uni so that he can live at home, to cut costs. That is happening more and more these days.

[StepSideways]

YANBU - It's that time in his life when he's hopping out the nest and will need to learn to fly...

[JaneS]

YANBU, but it is very unlikely that a student loan alone will cover it. He will almost certainly end up with quite a lot of debt from other sources by the end of it, unless he works very hard during the course and is eligible for bursaries and so on (which are usually done on parental income, regardless of what you're giving/not giving).

I am not trying to influence your decision, btw, just a bit concerned that your OP sounds as if you think a student loan will cover most of his costs.

[mumzy]

Are you sure he's not eligible for some sort of government student grant as I think they still do exist. It sounds really hard if he has to do the whole thing from loans.

[TrillianAstra]

Can we please pick ONE thread?

[sayithowitis]

Agree with LRD. DC1 gets the standard loan, plus the means tested loan and a grant, and the documentation states that we are not expected to make a contribution to his finances, so clearly we are not exactly well off. However, we still have to help him out and he still has to make use of his overdraft facility. His accommodation alone uses up the entire maintenance loan and he still has to fund food,books,clothing,travel,mobile, printing etc etc. He is not someone who is at the union every night and is actually quite canny with his money, so I know he is not spending irresponsibly. And he is in the cheapest and oldest accommodation on campus. So actually, though YANBU to not want to, or to think you can't afford to fund your DS university education, sadly, I think you may find that like us, you will need to help him out. Unless you are happy that he may be like my silly DC1 who, in an effort to save money, has only been eating three meals every two days! I have told him that whatevr, he must eat every day and that we will help with the costs. That's why my freezer is now full of homemade meals to take when he goes back!