or just a bit miserable?!

[BexJ78]

I had my DD in December and due to a combination of the appalling weather over Christmas and the new year and also my general reticence, i have not joined many mum and baby groups. However, I do meet up every couple of weeks with friends from NCT and fairly regularly see other friends/family. I have a friend who is almost full term with her first pregnancy. I count her as a good friend, but she is quite highly strung and opinionated and i think sometimes speaks without thinking. She has joined an antenatal exercise group and keeps telling me how fab her group is and that they are always meeting up for coffee and cake and lunch etc that basically that?s what I should be doing and that i should be getting myself out and about. I feel like telling her, that they might be doing that now, but that it?s not so easy once your LOs come along. I just want to spend time with my little girl before i go back to work and even though i am booked on to start a couple of activities with her in a few weeks, and don?t feel the need to be trailing her all about town every day. I just think, in the same way that i didn?t have any idea before DD came along, she doesn?t really appreciate what it?s like to have a newborn baby. I don?t think I have had PND, but both DH and have found having a newborn really hard, even though DD is really good for us, sleeps through and is really such a gorgeous happy little girl. Am i just being a miserable cow?!

[shockers]

If you only had your DD in December, then don't feel pressured into doing anything other than being her lovely Mum.
Mother and baby groups are primarily for support, not for socialising the babies. If you feel you don't need that support yet and just want to bond,then you concentrate on bonding.

There's plenty of time for baby groups when you've got your routine sorted and your DD is more mobile.

IMO

[BexJ78]

Just noticed that my post for some bizarre reason has question marks in place of all the apostrophes! anyway, thanks for that shockers.

[jendaisy]

Crikey...if you are even managing to get a brush through your hair and chuck some clothes on at this stage then you are doing really well. As long as you are happy that's all that matters.

Wait until this friend pops her sprog and we'll see how much time/inclination she has for eating cakes with the ladies.

[lolapoppins]

I didn't do a thing but sit in the house with ds as a baby. No mother and baby groups, no silly classes. It was great. I didn't feel the need to be in a room with a bunch of women just because they had babies too and ds certainly didn't need to be at music/baby signing/baby yoga.

It was great, I often look back on that first year/ 18 months of just suiting myself and ds and doing what ever I wanted to do with my day with real fondness, it was great and it certainly did neither of us any harm!

Just do what you want to do and enjoy your baby.

[lolapoppins]

(obviously, we left the house as well, but you get my point!)

[tethersend]

Oh no, mother and baby groups are the source of all evil.

Enjoy the time with your DD any way you want to. It's not often in life you get to spend all day in your pyjamas singing songs and watching Jeremy Kyle with the curtains closed.

Your DD is too young to appreciate a social life anyway

[dobbyssocks]

I think you're friend will get a shock once her baby arrives.

I don't think you're being miserable, just enjoying the time with your baby and you are getting out as much as you want to.

Its a special time, enjoy doing what you want to and what you think is best for you and your baby.

[BexJ78]

Thanks all for your responses. They have made me feel much better!

[MamaGlee]

Different things work for different folk

my mate is still friends with women from her antenatal class, 10 years on, they regularlymeet

as far as i can see, the only thing they have in common is that they all had a baby at the same time, but they enjoy it so why not?

don't let her make you feel like a freak, just keep enjoying your time with baby

[Librashavinganotherbiscuit]

Actually I think you are being a bit miserable towards your friend thinking "just wait until the baby comes". I remember the first 6 months being mostly about eating cake and gossiping with my NCT friends as the little ones weren't mobile and easily transportable. If YOU choose to stay in for one-to-one time with your baby then that's fine and what works for you but obviously your friend is a more social creature, maybe you are being a bit miserable in her company so she thinks getting out might cheer you up a bit.

[skidoodly]

Dh and I also found the adjustment to being parents very hard. It's a huge change in so many ways, some of us take a while to get there.

As for mother and baby groups - I felt just like you do and didn't go to any. I've started going with no.2 but only because this time I have a toddler, and being there gives me a break while she runs up and down. I still don't go when dd1 is at the cm.

Enjoy your time off however you please. You don't have to join the mother and baby social scene if you don't want.

[sparkle12mar08]

Getting out of the house everyday when my first was a newborn is what saved me. That and a good nct friend who let me turn up on her doorstep at 8:15 one morning sobbing my heart out. She poured me on to the sofa, gave her own daughter to her hubby and then took my newborn out for an hour. I loved that woman dearly!

So it's horses for courses. Don't feel bullied into going to these groups if they don't suit you, but equally if you need an escape at some point - go, you will be welcomed with open arms I'm sure.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

I too didn't enjoy the mummy/baby groups. I wanted to spend my precious time with DD not with a lot of women that I had virtually nothing in common with. We had a lovely time together and I don't regret not doing the baby group thing at all.

Enjoy your DD... x

[MrsVidic]

I have aggree with sparkle- I needed to get out and about- I loved the surestart bfeeding cafe, going on long walks with friends, shopping with others- also it really help me keep close to all my non mum friends.

If I had to stay at home alone with the baby for ages I'd go crazy!

[Fel1x]

Baby groups are all for teh Mums really until the babies are mobile and able to get something out of the change of scene!
If you dont fancy them and are happy on your own with DD then thats great.
I loved the groups (and still do) and go out to loads of things with the DSs, but thats me. Everyone is different

[KaraThrace]

I felt like you did. I spent much of my DD's first year with my parents (when DH as at work) and I loved that. I did make a couple of friends in those first few months who I met up with regularly but we didn't go to groups.
I started going to groups when DD was about 15months old and then they were a life saver, we live in a small flat and it was great that she got to play with new toys and tire herself out. But I didn't want to sit around singing songs when she was younger than that.
Don't worry what other people think, you do what suits your family you you and enjoy whatever that is, don't feel pressurised.

[realitychick]

Don't think you're being unreasonable or miserable. I think you're really strong to keep on doing what you're doing because it's right for you and your baby and not bowing to pressure. If you have to go back to work and want to spend every minute till then with your baby - that's lovely. You'll have loads of adult company soon enough. I think baby groups are really good for SAHMs who need adult company. But as another poster said - they're for the mums not the babies and if you don't need them no need to feel bad about it. Enjoy your time with your baby.