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AIBU?

Brother and SiL

17 replies

MunchkinsMumof2 · 02/03/2010 17:09

I am going away with dh for a mini break and my mum was due to look after my 2 dc. My brother has now decided 3 days before the break that it is unacceptable for our Mum to look after my children when she should be on 24 hour notice to look after his ds when my sil gives birth (due in 2 weeks). Mum has offered Dad's services but he has never looked after dc alone before and never looked after me or my brother. Dh is pissed off with brother etc and I'm getting it in the neck from all sides. Whatever happens, they've ruined our break AIBU to feel angry and sad?

OP posts:

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rubyslippers · 02/03/2010 17:10

YANBU

compo · 02/03/2010 17:11

yanbu

tell your brother to wind his neck in

diddl · 02/03/2010 17:27

How old are your children?
Could your Dad cope or would it be better if he looked after your brother´s child(ren)?

I understand why you are upset, but had your Mum already promised your brother?

I assume there is no one on your husband´s side to help you or your SILs side to help her?

At the end of the day it is up to your mum.

How close is everyone? Could your parents cope with all f the children if necessary whilst SIL gives birth?

meaniepants · 02/03/2010 17:31

YANBU - it's 2 weeks away, you're Mum shoud tell him to get a grip.

Tee2072 · 02/03/2010 17:31

Why is this up to your brother? Shouldn't your mother be the one to say yes or no?

mnistooaddictive · 02/03/2010 17:46

YANBU
Are you staying in this country? If so you could always come back if she goes into labour. I am sure your mum could manage all of them with her husbands help if necessary.

yellowcircle · 02/03/2010 17:54

Surely this is pretty straighforward - your parents have your kids whilst you go away. If SIL goes into labour, one of your parents goes to fetch your brother's DS and then your parents can look after all 3 kids.

MunchkinsMumof2 · 02/03/2010 17:58

I suggested that my Mum comes up here and my Dad stays at home "on call" but because my brother had just shouted at her on the phone she was worried about changing the arrangements. I think my Dad should be on call all w/e and then bring my nephew up here should it be necessary. My brother always gets his way because he shouts the loudest but they are all ruining our break (in Europe).

OP posts:

yellowcircle · 02/03/2010 18:06

He sounds like a really selfish bastard.

MunchkinsMumof2 · 02/03/2010 18:07

sorry I didn't answer your question diddl, my children are 4&6 and his son is 2. My dh is more worried about my Dad looking after them (not knowing routines etc and ds is asthmatic.

OP posts:

traceybath · 02/03/2010 18:11

Well I went away for a weekend before my sister had her baby - about 6 weeks before. My mother was on call for her so out of courtesy I checked my sister was happy for mum to come here and babysit.

My DS2 was 3 weeks early so I don't think your brother is being that unreasonable.

Do you normally get on well with your brother - can you not call him up to discuss?

OTTMummA · 02/03/2010 18:16

tell your brother as a grown adult with a child and another on the way, that shouting to get what you want is really not a great example.
he is being a selfish twat, and sounds like he will get his way, because no one stands up to him, and why can't someone else on his partners side look after their child?
( im sorry if she has no one ) but really, there is 2 weeks until due date, its not like they couldn't come and get their kid if it was an emergency.
someone needs to put him in his place, the world does not revolve around him and his unreasonable needs/expectations.

OTTMummA · 02/03/2010 18:18

its also unexcceptable for your brother to dictate to your mother!
she is i am sure capable to look after 3 children! she had you 2 didn't she?!!

Size0HereICome · 02/03/2010 18:36

YANBU

letsblowthistacostand · 02/03/2010 18:48

I also have a couple of overbearing siblings. I would email or call your brother--if he's a shouter best to email, tell him you have booked and paid for your mini break and he can either STFU and trust your mum to watch all 3 kids or pay you back for the mini break.

The thing is, though, you must get your mum on your side. Be reasonable and calm, go with the 'booked and paid for' tactic and see if your mum will tell your brother she is happy to watch all 3 if necessary.

Hope it works out, think he is being a prick if it helps.

MunchkinsMumof2 · 02/03/2010 19:03

I didn't know my Mum was on call for the whole month as she certainly wasn't for me. We would have booked the holiday for after the birth had we known. I used to have a good relationship with my brother but other family issues from the past have come between us and I try not to have too much to do with him now. I can see all sides but I know that my brother is selfish and overbearing and always pulls the "I'm just looking out for my family" card. If my Dad had spent more time with my dc we would have no concerns but he's a hands off Dad and Grandad.

OP posts:

groundhogs · 02/03/2010 19:05

YANBU, i'd be calling me brother OP if I were you and telling him that's how it is.

FFS it's a minibreak two whole weeks before due date...

DON'T get on at your mum, agree with letsblow, get your mum on your side, tell her not to worry, YOU'LL square it with him. If she's OK to take your DC, then so must he be.

I agree with the prick consensus.

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