To expect my 7 year old DS to travel alone?

[SprocketAndTubbs]

Hello, Please don't flame me as I genuinely don't know whether this would be seen as acceptable or not.

Next month my DS and I will be moving from North to South to live closer to my Mum. I have been lucky enough to secure a full time job but the hardest thing to organise by far has been finding a good school. Most of the schools in my Mum's local area have no places available in my DS's year (think there must have been a baby boom in 2002!! ).

DS has mild DCD and is on medication for this. He does not have a Statement of Needs (sorry if this is the wrong term), but he can be quite disruptive in class if he is not given adequate attention from the teaching staff. He is at a fantastic school just now and I have been working closely with the teaching staff to encourage him to try his best in class.

To get to the point, I have struggled to find him a place at school down south, apart from one school where the classes are very large. He has now been offered a place at a great little village school with much smaller classes, which I feel my DS will benefit from as well as the other children in his class, as I always worry that he disrupts other children too. The school is 7 miles away from where we will be living and the local authority will not provide any school transport for him as there is a school willing to accommodate him closer to home. I am more than happy to pay for a taxi to take him to and from school every day, as I feel the benefits far out weigh the costs. However, AIBU to send a 7 year old on his own in a taxi, 7 miles twice a day?

I have had sleepless nights about this one!! I have spoken to DS at length and he says that he has no worries in taking a taxi by himself. He presently uses a taxi once a day to travel from school to the local after school facility, however this is with an escort and a couple of other children from his school and the driver is CRB checked.

Thanks in advance for all your help and sorry for the long post.

[nelix2000]

Hiya, where I used to live taxis used to take kids to school. But there was more than one child and it was the same taxi driver every day so parents and children knew him as did the school. Ask the school? maybe there are other children nearby he can jump in with? this would save on cost too!

[violethill]

YANBU because you have thought all of this through carefully and this is the best option all round.

Presumably you will be able to arrange so that you get the same taxi driver each day, or most days, so it won't be someone new collecting him daily.

The key thing is that your ds is fine with it which is great - I think it's good that children learn to deal with these situations.

Also, you never know how things will pan out when you get down there... you may find other children travel from a distance and you can share lifts etc. Go for it!

[bubblagirl]

maybe now would be worth your while getting a statement in to action then you can prove the other school not suitable and then back up your claim for transport

it could also be beneficial as different areas have different rules regarding what help they can give without one our area is like post code lottery we have to fight hard for any extra help to be given as your ds gets older the help is going to be more important so could be worth your while applying now and getting the ball rolling

apart from that im not sure about the taxi journey i personally with ds having ASD would not feel comfortable having him go alone and having someone else not trained to watch him

but if he and yourself feel comfortable then i would again take this issue up with school or whoever pays for transport give full detailed report of your child's needs and why other school is not acceptable and see if they will then allow it

[SprocketAndTubbs]

Thank you so much, Nelix and Violet, sadly enough I have thought of nothing else since last week!! The school lay on a school bus, but it only collects children from the neighbouring villages. My DS will be travelling through from the city outskirts, where I need to be for my work. Sadly I just can not afford to buy or run a car or I would gladly take him myself.

I suppose a lot of my worries are about moving to a new area and the parents at the school gates passing judgement about the poor boy who has to travel to and from school alone everyday. I am led to believe by the school secretary that my DS is the only child travelling in outwith the neighbouring villages.

Who would have thought that this would be more of an issue than finding employment .

[blinks]

i remember a few kids getting taxis to and from school as it was near countryside, but it was high school so they would have been a bit older. i think if you can arrange for the same driver from a reputable company to take him to and from the school, it seems a reasonable solution.

[SprocketAndTubbs]

Thank you, Bubblagirl - I thought (probably naively), that the health care staff who see my son would have automatically given him a statement if he needed one and I didn't realise that I could ask for one? He was under Occupational Therapy for a year, but they are a very busy dept. up here and he was discharged and told to go back if his conditioned worsened. He is also under a consultant paediatrician, who sees him every 6 months to a year, but he has never been offered a statement. Think I should look into this though. Thanks again.

[chocices]

No idea of taxi costs where you are, but where I am they are expensive.

I did consider taxi idea myself, but found a childminder who was willing to do it for me. This costs me £7 a day, taxi would of been min £10. It's same person, they are CRB checked, ofsted registered etc.

Maybe an option to consider.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Would it be possible to contact the local taxi firms, see if any of them have CRB-checked drivers, and possibly arrange a contract with them for the same driver to be used each day?

[flaime]

You will probably need to check the school are ok with it as in our area they won't let a 7yr old child out of class unless their parent or guardian can be seen by the teacher.

Will the school have the resources to see your child to the taxi each day, or will the taxi driver be expecting the meter to run whilst he fetches him?

[ChippingIn]

No flaming, not at all.

There's no harm in looking into it, to see if you could have a couple of drivers so it would be someone your DS would come to know, see how well their backgrounds are checked. Call the school see if they have any alternative suggestions and of course, check out childminders in the area.

I personally wouldn't be happy to do it, not at 7.

Is there really no way you can get a car? Surely using a taxi service will be as expensive if not more so?

[porcamiseria]

if you are moving to west london I have a friend that runs a special taxi service for this type of thing. YANBU and I am sure that there might be women run family friendly taxi firms that can help you

[EcoMouse]

YANBU, some of the children at my DC's school have traveled to and from school via taxi since reception age.

The taxi driver goes to the child's class at pick up and drop off. CRB checked school run drivers are a service many firms offer.

Are you sure running a car wouldn't be cheaper though?

[SprocketAndTubbs]

Just wanted to say a huge thank you again. I spent most of the day on the telephone to the local authority and many taxi companies - managed to get a taxi firm down to £8 per journey , which is still much more than I can afford. Also found out about bus journeys - sadly only one every hour starting after 9am, but the journey only takes 10 minutes and the bus company said they would ask the driver to look out for him, check he was o.k and make sure he got off at the right stop - what a great service!!

The upshot is that the local authority did not feel that 7 years is too young for a child to travel alone, if the child feels able to travel themselves. I am going to contact the school and ask if any other children are travelling from the city, but discovered it is half term this week, so I will have to wait a while before I can sort this out.

Thanks again for all your help and advice. I don't feel quite such a bad mum or as silly as I did this morning. .

[sunnydelight]

I know it's a different culture, but it's totally normal here (Oz) for even kindy kids - from 5 - to get the bus to school. It is often a special school bus, but a lot of them are shared with public access, and the kids still have to know when to ring the bell, which stop to get off at on the way home etc. I found it very strange at first but think nothing of it now.

If your son is happy I would think go for it, though I would probably be tempted to give him a cheap mobile phone for emergencies. My 7 year old ended up on the bus home by herself for the first time today as both her brothers are off sick and I gave her the 11 year old's "emergency phone" which made her feel very grown up. (Sits back and waits for the shock, horror, too young for a mobile comments ).

[Blondeshavemorefun]

yanbu

i know of several children who get taken+collected to school by a taxi, for the same reasons as you have said

try and get the same taxi driver (obv chech he is crbed, and assume all taxi drivers are) - it should be possible, my mb get a taxi to the station every day and has the same man pick her up at 8am