not to welcome the invasion of baby showers

(160 Posts)
babybarrister Tue 02-Feb-10 14:40:13

sorry to be a killjoy but isn't it tempting fate a bit? all on for girls get together but this is a US import too far IMO ...[apparently they have baby shower lists there too .... - yuck!]

diddl Tue 02-Feb-10 14:41:34

They don´t appeal to me either.

Still, you don´t have to have one or go to one, do you?

nickytwotimes Tue 02-Feb-10 14:42:40


differentID Tue 02-Feb-10 14:42:59

I think they are crass and grabby to be honest.

They make my teeth itch.

IMO they're just an excuse to get loads of presents and to be the centre of attention.


Exactly differentID

babybarrister Tue 02-Feb-10 14:47:06

yes - went to one - close relative. could not say no ....hmm

WeakAtTheCheese Tue 02-Feb-10 14:49:36

Totally agree with BunnyLebowski, lots of presents and attention. I hate them, fine to get together with girlie friends but it all becomes about the presents and one-up-manship. One of my friends arranged her own hmm which seemed to me a bit tragic. I think a lot of women (and men) are constantly looking for a repeat of their wedding day attention. Hence huge baptism parties for people who never, ever go to church etc, etc.

TheArmadillo Tue 02-Feb-10 14:50:59

As someone who has never had one, never going to have one, and who doesn't know anyone who has had one I think they are often portrayed as crass and grabby.

However I think, probably the reality for most people is that they are a gathering together of important females in their lives and a celebration of what is to come. If people want that, then why shouldn't they celebrate. Not my thing but it isn't harming anyone.

Yes I'm sure there are places that do baby shower lists, like there are places that do wedding lists. Doesn't mean everyone uses them or that that is the main focus of the event. Its a way for businesses to make more money. Just like christmas doesn't mean it is that way for everyone or that is what everyone concentrates on.

crumpet Tue 02-Feb-10 14:52:34

materialistic and common

bratnav Tue 02-Feb-10 14:53:28

Bloody awful idea YANBU.

On a similar note, my DSis set up a 'wish list' at Mothercare and sent everyone a link hmmshock

hana Tue 02-Feb-10 14:55:20

you know, it's not like that certainly not in my experience at all. THe USA has a huge population so this is rather tarring all with the same brush! Not your traditions, then don't piss all over them grin

mnistooaddictive Tue 02-Feb-10 15:01:48

I think they are a bit grabby. However someone at work arranged one for someone else and it was more of a social good luck tyoe thing. We all gave a contribution in advance and bought a joint present of vouchers so it meant she could b uy one big thing she really ewanted as opposed to us all buying small stuff that she didn't want or need.
I guess it depends on the motivation.

sparkletoes Tue 02-Feb-10 15:04:18

LOL at itchy teeth bunny!! grin

Not that keen on the whole idea either... YANBU

misshardbroom Tue 02-Feb-10 15:07:27

do the same people who buy the mother-to-be gifts for the baby shower then also buy gifts when the baby is born?

EmiAbi Tue 02-Feb-10 15:09:44

I had a 'surprise' baby shower.

Throughout my pregnancy I had been asked if I had wanted one and I said not really. However one of my friends got it in her head that I was desperate for one and started planning it as a surprise.

As a result I had phone calls and visits from about 6 different people, worried about my reaction to this and to make sure I'd be ok with it.

With this information I got the message out that this was just an excuse for a gathering of my friends, that I'd be embarrassed by gifts but getting to see everyone would be amazing.

My pretend surprise face was awesome and we had a good night thanks to some intervention and fabulous friends. In general my opinion is that they can appear to be an opportunity to get stuff and can be a bit tasteless.

But also an ideal opportunity for tea and cake! wink

kinnies Tue 02-Feb-10 15:18:51

I didnt want one as I am a moody cow when pg.
I dont 'bloom' just have 9mths of sickness and am signed off work for the duration.

I think its a nice idea to get together with girly mates and have a tea party. As long as its low key and not all about the gifts/tacky decorations I would be quite happy (if I didnt feel like death) .

Bathsheba Tue 02-Feb-10 15:26:34

I've only ever been to one, and that was for a girl who had not only had her first 2 children in the US before moving back to the UK but also had had to leave all her baby stuff in the US so did need a bit of an intial "helping hand" with things in the UK even though it was her 3rd...

I also went to one (now I remember) when I was a teenager, but that was for my American Pastor's wife, but again, shew as American, a long way from home, with no family and needing a "helping hand"..

I've never heard of one for anyone else, never mind attended one....

BlingLoving Tue 02-Feb-10 15:27:24

Why does it bother you so much? Honestly. I don't understand. I am not wild about them - although not because I think they're "grabby and materialistic" or whatever they're being called on here, but mostly just because I figure you don't need a special event for the women in your life to natter about your unborn baby and offer hilarious/practical/crazy advice and tips. Nor do you need an event for those same women to produce baby gifts of some sort as soon as your baby is born. But... if it makes you feel special and makes you feel like your friends and family are helping you adjust and accept and move into a new phase in your life that will undoubtedly be a complete shock to your system, why is it bad?

of course there are some people who use it for one upmanship. And some who try to squeeze their friends and family for every last penny. But that's true of every human endeavour from office parties to hen dos. Stop focusing on the few people who have unappealing motives and let those women who enjoy them have their moment to glory in it.

Sometimes, we all live lives where we're so bogged down in things that it's NICE to have your changing environment formally celebrated. I went to one on the weekend and while it wasn't my cup of tea, the mum-to-be seemed to enjoy herself and certainly there was lots of normal girlie chat, which let's be honest, is at least part of the reason - mum-to-be being unlikely to join the girls on huge nights out on the town at this point.

SerenityNowakaBleh Tue 02-Feb-10 15:31:09

Well, they were pretty common in my old country (South African). TBH, I think it can be a good idea, particularly for a first time parent, so they can get tons of stuff before the baby arrives, as well advice and a girly-bonding tea.

In SA, it's normally arranged by the mother-to-be's mother, or sister or BF. It's not grabby, and it's not materialistic. It's an opportunity to bond and get excited about the new arrival.

Waedigirl Tue 02-Feb-10 15:31:29

Well I had one. Friend really wanted to organise it for me and it was a novelty here (don't live in the UK.) It was lovely, low key, mainly about tea and cupcakes. Great to see everyone all together as was hard to keep up with friends towards the end of being pg. A couple of pressies but not lots of stuff. It was more celebrating the potential baby and, in fairness, my last opportunity to be girly before dd made an early appearance a week later.....

Waedigirl Tue 02-Feb-10 15:33:55

And of course some truly hideous photos of me at 38 wks to cherish, moon face and swollen ankles

sarah293 Tue 02-Feb-10 15:34:30

Message withdrawn

I was thrown one by my work colleagues when I was 35 weeks with DD & it was really nice. We had a nice meal out & they bought us some really fab essentials such as nappies, vests, sleepsuits, bath prducts etc which all came in really handy. I thought it was really sweet blush

honeybeeplusone Tue 02-Feb-10 15:36:42

I've been to two baby showers so far, and enjoyed them (one for girls only, one with guys included ). I liked being able to buy something cute for my friends' babies and get together. It was nice to see them off before their big adventure And I think they enjoyed meeting their friends before the baby was born..... As with everything, there is no point in going OTT

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