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AIBU?

to be angry that a boy in my daughters class is being told by other boys he has to kiss my dd!!..6 year olds!

10 replies

PinkChick · 27/01/2010 11:00

this little boy tells me he loves my dd ..its all lovely and innocent, he as well as others play in the playground with my dd most days and i know his mum...there in another boy a year above who has started now and again drawing dd a picture of something and putting to x love from y..still quite cute and innocent, hes only 7 and again know of him.
Now however, i was told by my dd last night that the older boy, another boy (not a particulary nice boy) and some other boys went over while dd and her friends were playing with this little boy and she said they were 'making him kiss her'!! ..she said he didnt kiss her, he told them he didnt want to kiss her (thankfully he had the good sense not to bow down to their bullying)..but dd has mentioned it twice to me now.
teacher wasnt in this morning, so spoke to TA, im not jumping on any band wagon, i wouldnt have anything to say had it not happend to my dd, but should i be more worried?...TA wasnt pelased and said she would speak to teacher and keep a close eye, have told dd not to go off anywhere with any of the boys and to stay with her friends in playground, but im more than a little concerned about their 'forceful' behaviour and worried about them bullying this little boy too...i will speak to dd and she knows to let me know if it happens again...should i speak to little boys mum?..the other boys mums to tell them im not happy?..dont like to think of my dd being put into that kind of situation

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Runoutofideas · 27/01/2010 11:11

I wouldn't say anything to the other parents unless it continues happening. Give the school a chance to nip things in the bud. I would speak to your dd though and explain theat the boys' behaviour is not acceptable and if she feels upset or unsafe then to shout GO AWAY and to go straight to a teacher/TA. Hope it all goes away as it sounds horrible for you and dd, and the other little boy....

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PinkChick · 27/01/2010 11:18

Thankyou Runoutofideas, i dont think these older/other boys are bullies on the whole, but my dd doesnt like this and obv this other little boy doesnt, i would hate to think he bowed down to their peer pressure and actually did something to my dd that she doesnt want to happen ...i know TA's & Dinner ladies dont see everything and everyone in the playground, so am worrying myself more .

I will speak to dd again, but i dont know what to say for the best, kissing isnt bad, but this kind of thing is!..i might confuse her, shes a clever girl, but i dont want anything untoward happening ..i think ill tell her these boya are behaving very badly and should never tell someone to kiss someone, or anything else! they are wrong and if ANYTHING ever happens like this again , like you say to SHOUT at them and go straight to a teacher...i just hope they do nip this in the bud as i dont want a repeat, i cant let dd be in that position again

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ImSoNotTelling · 27/01/2010 11:31

YANBU of course.

I'd let the school deal with it at thsi stage if i were you.

How horrible though. And of course as adults this sort of behaviour has horrible connotations which I'm sure are simply not there for any of these children.

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ImSoNotTelling · 27/01/2010 11:32

Yes the things you plan to tell her about how to deal with this are good.

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PinkChick · 27/01/2010 11:36

thanks..you dont wnt to seem like your over reacting, but at thr same time, i wont let my daughter...my 6 yr old!..be forced into doing anything like this, its wrong and worrying..the head though has a habit of brushing things under the carpet..so we'll see...

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Mumcentreplus · 27/01/2010 11:45

I feel your pain PinkChick..

I had quite a serious problem at my school involving my DDs...they were actually thrown to the floor by a group of 3 boys held down and had their skirts lifted up the boys looked at their knickers then ran off laughing!

I was incensed at the time and nearly went into the school for a confrontation...but DH and I discussed the issue (he was even worse than me) and decided to speak to the school...they were very supportive and helpful the head teacher spoke to the boys individually and told them in no uncertain terms that what they did was wrong and unacceptable they also spoke to the parents.

one good thing about the situation was my DDs told me what happened and thats what your DD has done, she trusts you and is open with you.

Its a great idea to tell her what they did is wrong and that she should tell you and her teachers. I'm sure everything will work out well try not to worry too much

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ImSoNotTelling · 27/01/2010 11:46

If she is armed with your message, that if anyone tries to make her do anything she doesn't want she should shout no and go and tell someone she trusts - well that's a message all children should be told really i think.

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PinkChick · 27/01/2010 11:52

Mumcentreplus, thats awful!..hope your DD's were ok? and everything was sorted!
I'll catch teacher or TA tonight and ask if anything was said/happend and i think ill tell little boys mum, i would hate not knowing something like this, but will also tell her ive told school, so they are dealing with it.
Imsonottelling, yes, she does know right from wrong with things like this as young as she is, but i think we might do a bit of a project on 'boundries'etc (i am a child minder as well, so can tie this in somewhere), so its explained simply in a way it will remain in her mind as well as the other little ones..thankyou for your help

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Mumcentreplus · 27/01/2010 12:21

Yes they are fine and happy as usual..but at the time I felt so angry and upset..I was glad I spoke to the school first...

I've told my children about inappropriate behaviour from a very early age and I think its important to give them the confidence to speak to someone they trust if something happens they are uncomfortable with.

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PinkChick · 27/01/2010 13:19

Thats good its lovely to see you have such a good relationship ...im downloading lots of info on feelings, bullying and trying to find something on bodies & innapropriate touch etc to use as a little them with DD and the other LO's...hopefully today has been event free and will remain so now

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